EAST GERMANY + DENHAM SPRINGS, LA

Krieger, Komm Raus und Spiel Warriors, Come Out and Play

Saturday Morning Fall 2012 and I am asking myself why I am rising before the sun and dressing out in an East German athletic uniform. Warrior Dash here we come! My teammates Friis, Hecht, and Schrader, and I, Frau Bauer were heading out to conquer the wilds of the NorthShore in that faraway land known as Denham Springs, LA.

If you are looking to challenge yourself, try this cross between a standard High School cross country course and something out of an early episode of Survivor Island. Warrior Dash participation was the brainchild of our ever-adventurous leader Lil’ Marlene. Upon her advice, we carefully crafted state-of-the-art DDR tees with our German heritage proudly lettered on the back. Rounding out our ensemble was the requisite sweat bands and tube socks. We were feeling fine, but in hindsight, spending time on athletic conditioning would have been smarter than the endless hours on-line searching for iron-on decals and assembling the fine crafted tees.

As the morning started, we hung around waiting for our wave to be called to the starting line – that should have been the first “eye-opener” for this experience – why are they sending us in waves? Obstacle number one involved swimming/wading/drowning through a backhoe dugout swimming pool of mud (and what was that smell?!). These white tube socks will never get clean. As we squished along through the woods still pumped up with adrenaline, we coaxed each other on, convincing ourselves THIS - WAS - THE - BEST - IDEA – EVER!

The obstacles are just too numerous to describe in exquisite detail but involve a balance beam, in which one “noted” participant within our group actually “bounced”, a requisite Marine belly crawl through sludge, up and over a wall, up and over another wall, up and over a wall so high – who was that person boosting me up from behind?! And then the mother of them all – a wall with ropes and people falling right and left but WAIT! If that woman with one leg can get to the top, surely this middle-aged mom and her fierce competitive and dedicated (and slightly deflated) companions can do it too! And we slogged on….

Little did we know that no Warrior Dash is complete without the final dash and jump through a wall of fire – I am crossing that task off my bucket list! An experience I will never forget, nor want to forget, Warrior Dash 2012. What does our dear adventurous Marlene have in store next?

– ANNE OGAN, NEW ORLEANS