Missions Rising July/August, 2016 Vol 1 No 1 by Renovate Resources

July/Aug 2016 Volume 1 Issue 1

Developing a Male Friendly Church! By Tom Cheyney Executive Director of Missions

Sponsor Churches Rising! By Mark Weible Church Planting Director

www.MissionsRising.com www.GOBA.org

As an association of autonomous Southern Baptist churches, exists to more effectively fulfill the Great Commission as described in Matthew 28:18-20. MISSION: GOBA is Southern Baptist member churches working together to impact Central Florida and the world with the Good News of Jesus Christ. VISION: GOBA is a family of healthy growing churches loving, serving and reaching Central Florida and the world by developing and multiplying disciples, leaders, and churches.

The Renovate Conference is developing a group of leaders committed to the work of church growth by revitalizing and renewing churches and church leaders. Key conversations regarding the need for church revitalization and how to incorporate church revitalization into the local church takes place during these crucial days of collaboration. RENOVATE seeks to influence, train, and equip, a group of church revitalizers that multiplies rapidly across the west with effective principles, ideas and solutions for the enhanced reproduction of church renewal in America. RENOVATE provides a national platform and delivery network for advocating the need of church revitalization. We seek to spotlight significant practioners and leaders in church renewal. This multi-denominational conference is designed to connect, inspire, equip and challenge church revitalizers.

ReproducingChurches.com exists - to be a catalyst for collaboration among local churches that share a passion for togetherness and sentness for the sake of the Gospel of Jesus and the reproduction of leaders who live sent daily in hopes that new expressions of the church will blossom. The purpose of G.O.A.L. is to develop leaders who reproduce leaders by encouraging development in the following areas: The leader’s personal life; The leader’s relational style; The leader’s ability to build an effective team, and the leader’s ability to lead organizationally. This is done through Greater Orlando Adventures in Leadership (GOAL), and through other appropriate seminar and conference venues. Our participants are asked to invest a minimum of two years of personal ministry development and growth in leadership development through the Greater Orlando Baptist Association.

FEATURES

July/Aug 2016 | Vol 1, No 1

Developing Male Friendly Churches By Tom Cheyney

Sponsor Churches Rising!

By Mark Weible

MAGAZINE RESOURCES BOOKS, STUDY COURSES, RESOURCES, & E-BOOKS!

GOBA CONTENT CHANNELS for Pastors, Church Revitalizers, Church Planters, and Ministry Leaders

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THE PASTOR WITHIN YOU

Welcome to the Missions Rising Magazine:

The Bi-monthly Resource Magazine from Central Florida for Pastors, Staff, and Church Leaders! Volume 1, No. 1

Missions Rising is published bi-monthly by the Greater Orlando Baptist Association 1906 Lee Road Orlando, FL 32810 Email: goba@goba.org

PUBLISHER Dr. Tom Cheyney Associate Publisher Mark Weible Associate Publisher Circulation & Marketing Linda Goans Executive Editor & Brand Manager Tom Cheyney Magazine Designer & Format Editor Gerald Brown Director of Advertizing Linda Goans Stock images from ISTOCK Photo or where otherwise noted.

It is our inaugural edition of the Missions Rising Magazine for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and I could not be more excited! Ever since I arrived some five years ago now, I wanted to replace the newsletter with a more resource helpful magazine. We took early steps and created what we have called for the last three years the Re-Source Magazine that was a document not a magazine. It has taken time for our staff to stretch to the level of expertise to afford us the opportunity to develop such a premier magazine for an association. This bi-monthly magazine is free to anyone and is launched with the intent of providing Just-In-Time Resourcing for pastors, staff and church leaders. Our goal every other month is to provide you with a large resource on a specific subject, which is useable for pastors and deacons to equip the staff and laity. Additionally, there will be an accompanying article about half the size of the main issue, which will focus on a tool for the local church. We encourage you to spread the word to your staff and church leaders about subscribing to this magazine. Simply go to: goba.org and look for the Missions Rising icon on the top header. As your mission partner and GOBA family it is a great blessing to be able to provide you such a cutting edge resource on a regular bases. Stay connected, more is coming... This issue is focused around: Developing a Male Friendly Church!

Dr. Tom Cheyney is the Executive Director of Missions for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and serves as the Executive Editor for the Missions Rising Magazine.

BOOKS,

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, E-BOOKS!

RESOURCES,

Did you know that GOBA and Missions Rising offers pastors and church leaders an array of resources through our GOBA Bookstore? You can order books online, download free eBooks, find helpful tools for leading the local church, and discover just-in-time resources to help you as a pastor or lay leader.

Church Revitalization 101: Seven Pillars of Church Revitalization and Renewal: $49.95 Value (FREE)

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Tom Cheyney

Tom Cheyney Larry Wynn

Tom Cheyney Terry Rials

Visit: GOBA.org/resources for the most up to date set of resources designed to help the local church. 38 Church Revitalization Models For The 21st Century Tom Cheyney

The Healthy Church: Practical Ways to Strengthen a Churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Heart Bob Whitesel

Building A Healthy Multi-ethnic Church Mark DeYmaz

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Go to Missions Rising.com for the latest news, podcasts, blogs, articles, just-in-time resources, and suggested books from the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and our content channel architects.

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Developing Male Friendly Churches In our inaugural issue of Missions Rising Magazine, I would like to discuss how important it is to develop a male friendly environment at church. Every Sunday, church pews fill up with despondent women who are forced to worship without the men in their lives. There is no greater need in the world we live than to answer two questions relating to men. The first question simply is: What is a man? While the second one is: What is a godly man?

and they are losing tens of thousands of members each year. Meanwhile, non-denominational mega churches are growing fastest – and they are also the most likely to attract men.

Have you asked yourself lately “where are the BoyZ?” Remember that classic 1991 movie that depicted

Did you know that 33 percent of the seventy-two million children in America under the age of eighteen go to bed nightly in a home that does not have a biological father 2

the challenges and difficulties of growing up in an urban context, Boyz in the Hood? One memorable scene takes place on a porch of an actor named Dough Boy played by Ice Cube. Dough Boy is talking about women and where do you fine them. A fellow actor, Redge Green, is portraying a guy name Chris and Chris declares simply: “I know where you find a lot of fine women. You fine them in church.” There are those who mistakenly believe that the church today exists primarily for women and not men. Church is a place filled with women. It has amazed me during the past decade just how many churches are focused on a female friendly demographic. Granted this probably was something most churches fell in to, yet it is no wonder many men hate going to church. Recently, I was visiting a church and as the service began I did my usual look around the sanctuary to view the participants and the mix immediately surprised me. There that day were about sixty in attendance in the primary worship service of the week but what caught my attention was that only five of them were men and one of those was the pastor. That began my journey to consider why are so many church services more geared towards the women who attend the church than the men who attend the church? What I began to learn was that there is a difference in male attendance between the dying, and growing church. In dying churches only about 30% of those in attendance are usually male. In a dynamically growing church about 50% of those who attend are male. In a plateaued church about 40% of those who attend are male. There is a growing “men problem” within the local church. Your church has a gender gap. Why should you care? If you do nothing, your congregation will be dead in 30 years. Research is clear: the bigger your man shortage, the more likely your church is in decline. The denominations with the largest gender gaps are also those that are losing the most members. Look at the evidence: mainline churches suffer huge gender gaps,

Did you know that men who married between 1970 and 1974 only 46.2 percent were still married after thirty years?1

Did you know that children who live in a female-headed family are five times more likely to live in poverty, repeat a grade, and have emotional problems compared to families where a father is present?3 In the 1950’s the ratio of males to females in worship was a lot closer. According to Lyle Schaller the ratio was 47% males in worship and 53% females in worship. That was also the basic balance within the national population at the time. For the local church of the 1950’s that balance was appropriate. There is a growing gender gap within the local church today and it is having lasting effects on why most men hate going to church. One thing I am very excited about is during the Renovate National Church Revitalization Conference of 2017 (Nov 7-9) we have the leading man who speaks to the subject, Dr. David Murrow speaking to our participants. Women attend small groups at a larger rate today. Sunday School classes are often filled with many more women than men. Mid-week prayer meetings are populated with a larger number of women than men. Balance is needed so it is important to consider what it will take to develop male friendly churches. There is a great opportunity today for churches to reprioritize this intentional chance to reconnect with the male population in their ministry area. From the instance the Lord created man, we were commissioned with reflecting the Lord’s essence and replicating His character. True manhood has at its root an intimate relationship with God.

Pastors all across North America are wrestling with delivering and obeying the Great Commission as they deliver the Good News to a lessening and lesser number of men in the local church. Ministers are discouraged 1 Accessed & retrieved at: www.usatoday.com/news/ health/2007-09-19-divorce-census_N.htm. 2 Living Arrangements of Children [electronic version], U.S. Census Bureau, U. S. Department of Commerce. April 1996. 3 American Academy of Pediatrics, “Family Pediatrics Report of The Task Force on the Family,” Pediatrics, 111 (2003): 154171.

According to a study from Hartford Seminary, gender-balanced congregations are three times as likely to be growing as female-dominated churches.4 Jesus showed us how to grow a healthy church: focus on men first. Christ loved women and children, but he spent most of his time and energy developing a handful of men. He knew a truth we’ve forgotten: if you transform men, you transform the family, the community and the society. Draw a man to church, and you often get the family in the bargain. Patrick Morley declares, “Today’s average man is like a deer caught in the headlights of a Hummer. He doesn’t fully understand what God has to say about a man’s identity, purpose, relationships, marriage, sex, fathering, work, money, ministry, time, emotions, and a dozen of other subjects. As a result, most men are tired. They often have a lingering feeling something isn’t quite right about their lives. Often their lives are coming unglued. It is common for them to feel like nobody really cares. Even in the church, men are being left behind.”5 Many men have a growing disinterest in the church. We must re-engage the men of our communities and reach them for Christ Jesus. We as pastors and church leaders must take an active role in restoring the image of men through Jesus. It will take more than a breakfast and small event, yet it just might start with one or both of these for your church. Manhood must be modeled and observed within the local church. I went to one of our churches recently where everyone on the praise team was a woman except the guitar player worship leader and it became clear he was only there to follow what the others on the team wanted. I was left with the image of yet another less attractive image for men looking for a place to belong.

You’re not just imagining it. Christianity is

4 http://faithcommunitiestoday.org. 5 Morley, Patrick. Pastoring Men: What Works, What Doesn’t, and Why It Matters Now More Than Ever. (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2009) 20.

short on men. Here are the facts: • The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. (Source: “U.S. Congregational Life Survey – Key Findings,” 29 October 2003, <www. uscongregations.org/key.htm>.) • On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. (Source: This statistic comes from Barna’s figures on male/female worship attendance, over laid upon the Census 2000 numbers for adult men and women in the U.S. population.)

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

about these statistics as only three out of every ten church attenders are male in most churches. Pastors must see men not so much as they are right now, but what they could be in the future. It is not an insoluble challenge to reach men and connect them to the church. Men are just as different as most women are different. We have different temperaments. I might like things another man does not. My interests in Tennis, Biking, Reading, Writing, Kayaking, and Fishing probably is not every males most exciting of things to do. Even my personal example displays the fact that no one model for men’s ministry will fix all of the challenges we have in creating an environment where men will want to go to church.

• This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. (Source: I came up with this figure by taking the U.S. Census 2000 numbers for total married adults and overlaying Barna Research’s year 2000 percentages of male vs. female attendance at weekly worship services. The figures suggest at least 24.5 million married women attend church on a given weekend, but only 19 million married men attend. That’s 5.5 million more women, or 22.5%. The actual number may be even higher, because married people attend church in much greater numbers than singles.) • Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. (Source: Barna Research Online, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America,” 6 March 2000, <www.barna.org>.) • The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). (Ibid.) • Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return. (Source: “LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 22 Year Olds Drop Out of Church,” PowerPoint presentation accompanying study, available at the LifeWay Web site, http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page /0,1703,A=165949&M=200906,00.html, accessed 12 September 2007.) • More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. (Source: Barna, “Women are the Backbone of Christian Congregations in America.”) • Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to 9 women for every adult man in attendance. • Christian universities are becoming convents. The

Developing Male Friendly Churches typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every 1 man. (Source: Camerin Courtney, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Christianity Today, Single Minded. View at http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/mind40630.html.) • Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. (Source: Based on a show of hands at the National Coalition of Men’s Ministries meeting in 2005. The consensus in the room among hundreds of men’s ministry experts was that less than 10% of congregations had any ongoing ministry to men. Compare this to the 110% of churches that offer women’s and children’s ministries.)

Today’s manhood must be restored. It is the most

critical issue of our day as pastors. In a day where men are absent in masses at a local house of worship, what is needed is for our churches to re-learn how to draw men back into a healthy relationship with the Lord and additionally the neighborhood church. Jesus Christ is the true example of manhood. Granted manhood has fallen in our modern day liberal society on hard times. Males are faced with the societal slaughter of their masculinity, past conducts and actions, as well as being stalled in the consequences of bad choices. We are living in a day where culture seeks to redefine manhood. The Lord Jesus can and will make all things new which is our ultimate hope.

There is a tremendous challenge of defeminizing the local church. The church and all of its minis-

tries must reclaim manhood and become the place where we truly embrace true masculinity. Take a moment and attempt to understand and comprehend the local church through the eyes of a typical “dude.” It is intimidating for a man to hold hands in a circle. To cry in public is threatening. Men are frightened to speak about loving other fellow men in the Lord. If we are going to be fishers of men, we must do a better job reflecting upon men’s needs and expectations. Jesus did it; so must we. David Murrow author of Why Men Hate Going To Church says it clearly: A business guru once said, “Your system is perfectly designed to give you the results you’re getting.” Christianity’s primary delivery system, the local church, is perfectly designed to reach women and older folks. That’s why our pews are filled with them. But this church system offers little to stir the masculine heart, so men find it dull and irrelevant. The more masculine the man, the more likely he is to dislike church.

-Continued

What do I mean? Men and young adults are drawn to risk, challenge and adventure. But these things are discouraged in the local church. Instead, most congregations offer a safe, nurturing community — an oasis of stability and predictability. Studies show that women and seniors gravitate toward these things. Although our official mission is one of adventure, the actual mission of most congregations is making people feel comfortable and safe — especially longtime members. How did Christianity, founded by a man and his 12 male disciples, become the province of women? There is a pattern of feminization in Christianity going back at least 700 years, according to Dr. Leon Podles, author of The Church Impotent: the Feminization of Christianity. But the ball really got rolling in the 1800s. With the dawning of the industrial revolution, large numbers of men sought work in mines, mills and factories, far from home and familiar parish. Women stayed behind — and began remaking the church in their image. The Victorian era saw the rise of church nurseries, Sunday schools, lay choirs, quilting circles, ladies’ teas, soup kitchens, girls’ societies, potluck dinners, etc. Soon, the very definition of a good Christian had changed: boldness and aggression were out; passivity and receptivity were in. Christians were to be gentle, sensitive and nurturing, focused on home and family rather than accomplishment and career. Believers were not supposed to like sex, tobacco, dancing or other worldly pleasures. The godly were always calm, polite and sociable. This Victorian spirituality still dominates our churches. Those of us who grew up in church hardly notice it; we can’t imagine things any other way. But a male visitor detects the feminine spirit the moment he walks in the sanctuary door. He may feel like Tom Sawyer in Aunt Polly’s parlor; he must watch his language, mind his manners and be extra polite. It’s hard for a man to be real in church because he must squeeze himself into this feminine religious mold.6

A riskless environment creates boredom. We

need to be churches and church leaders who present men with God-size visions that make their hearts sink like they were riding a roller coaster. Here within the association we have such environments as: GOBA Baptist Builders, Reproducing Churches which plant new churches, 6 David Murrow, Why Men Hate Going to Church? (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2011). C.f. http://churchformen.com/men-and-church/ why-do-men-hate-going-to-church

Have you considered that there are numerous men in far too numerous churches who are not very enthusiastic about coming to church each Lord’s Day. Many men who do attend do so out of habit or to merely keep their spouses content. Because there is seldom something for men during the middle of the week most men’s faith falters and does not grow. It’s these churches, which are unable to sustain a viable men’s ministry.

Principles, Which Saturate a Men’s Ministry That Is Growing We live in a day where principles or core values drive most of what we are doing in ministry. With that said, here are some principles I believe ought to saturate an emphasis on Men and ministry:

Men Need to Come First in Adult Budgeting

Since the early 1950’s men show an increasingly less interest in the church. That points to the need to reinforce and strengthen men’s ministry in the local church. Sadly most churches place ministry to men at the bottom of their annual adult budget for ministry. Instead they place their dollars on women, children, and youth. Granted many who attend a church right now where there is more emphasis on women will not be excited about this editions subject matter. Yet for the church to survive an all out effort must be waged to reclaim Godly men and bring them back into the local church. A man-impaired church is in danger of dying. Successful pastors spend time with other men. So pastor if you want a growing ministry with men clear your calendar a little and begin spending time with men.

Refurbish the Church Facility to be More Masculine

Make it male friendly once more. So many churches are designed for women and not men. Cut the pastels and choose bolder colors.

Men Want to Hang with Other Men in Groups

Jesus models this for us as the disciples and the Lord did stuff together and they learned along the way. He taught Peter how to step out in faith by getting out of a boat and walking on water – not by listening to a DVD series, hearing a sermon or watching a documentary on God TV. That should be a valuable lesson for starters to pastors. When it comes to reaching men for Christ, well, men love doing stuff together – team sports, fishing, paintballing, DIY projects, and bowling. Many churches have ministries designed for women but a lesser number have ministries designed for men. Men want to hang with other men. Hunting and fishing are great examples. Neither is a non-stop experience yet in the lull there is ample time for men to bond and talk.

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

pioneer mission work in either New York/New Jersey as part of SEND America, and missional engagement with the Nation of Cuba. What all of us need is to inspire men with deep challenges as part of their love for Jesus. Twelve men in the past in scripture dropped everything they were doing and became fishers of men. Men want to be part of something that matters. There is nothing effeminate about choosing to follow the Lord Jesus. Manhood calls for such a picture and we as pastors must present it. The Lord provides those who are all in with Jesus a kingdom rank (C.f. 1 Peter 2:9). Further for all of us and particularly men, in this article, He provides individual rewards upon entry into heaven (C.f. Matthew 25:23).

Going Man to Man is An Art But Must Be Developed

Men need a confidant and it is wise to develop one on one and one of two connection clusters for men to bond. Man to man discipling is best achieved within these two types of clusters. If you are going to reach men in your community, your present committed male leaders must met them and get with them. Men are usually not reached in packs but in smaller numbers such as two or less. Sending 40 men to help with a rescue mission once a month is not as helpful for your church as sending these men out to reach another man every day.

Men’s Gatherings Around Food Often is a Launching Place

While far too many churches stop at hosting a men’s breakfast or luncheon quarterly, gathering around food is often the beginning place for men to connect. Men love to eat so it is a natural beginning to kick off a ministry with men. But to remain in the same mode some five years later is to admit that the strategy was nothing more than a meal and not a plan for even better ways to reach, teach, and disciple men. Talking about golf scores and home remodeling plans might be the start, but it cannot remain all that you have to offer for men in your church. Initially men gather because they want to be with other men socially. They want connection, but nothing complicated or intense. Discussing faith is fine, but not in an intricate format. Help them learn how to function using ones faith in the market place.

Develop Less Churchy Events for Men and More Earthy Events

Men are usually compelled to church functions, which entail getting away from the church facility. Men’s days doing something fun often work better than a new Bible study. Car shows as well as other outings Continued on Page 14

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Developing Male Friendly Churches are a good way to draw men. In one church I know of there is an annual men’s rally where “much meat” is consumed, games played, and then a speaker challenges the masses.

Emphasize Problems that Men Face

Sorted magazine surveyed hundreds of Christian men and asked them what subjects they would most like to see tackled in church. Family issues were top, followed by money, anger, sexual purity, addictions, pornography, and gambling. It shows men are looking for answers to important questions – but this does not have to be on a Sunday at 11.00am in a cold building with a tall steeple. It can be conversations while doing sports, or walking together. Men like to discuss, argue, challenge, disagree and be given the opportunity to ask questions – but this needs to be done in an environment with other guys that they feel comfortable with. The thing we do have in common is that all men crave warmth, honesty, openness and authenticity. Most are genuinely interested in spirituality, meaning and purposes and are asking deep questions. They want to know how to become better dads and husbands. It is just a case of connecting with men where they are at and showing that Christianity is worth following, has real answers to tough questions – and is not just for girls.

Remember Men Hurt Also

Men are hurting and want a few men they can share their deepest concerns with. Men do not always want to share things with their wife but with a fellow man that understands what they are going through. Men are tired of being viewed at home as always broken so time with other men is a valued opportunity. Men work long hours and often feel like it is not appreciated and their spouses think that they can fix them when they are not so sure they need fixed.

Stop Preaching from the NGB!

We as pastors often preach from the NGB. Have you heard of that translation? It is the Nice Guy Bible and the retail price is men’s soul. You have read it I am sure. It is the Bible that emphasizes the sweet stuff of scripture and lets the tougher and manlier stuff go right on by. That sweet stuff will not save a man from the dark night of the soul as John the Gospel writer used the term. Preach the rugged scriptures and show how they can keep you protected from such dark nights of the soul. Unfortunately the meatier and more penetrating scriptures are not emphasized much today. As a result, much of what we label as spiritual living just is not “real” to your average guy.

-Continued

Manhood often tires of the slick and stylish and prefer to hang out in places where they can dress comfortably and not be frowned upon for not dressing in the latest styles. Men just want to be comfortable. Loose the tie, allow blue jeans, and stop making men feel uncomfortable when they worship in casual dress. Boots on a man are comfortable so get over it.

Men Keep Crazy Schedules and They are Not Looking for Another Thing to Do So Choose Wisely

Real men are busy and have many responsibilities so do not lay a huge amount of guilt upon them because they cannot or will not do everything you and your church offers. If men are not showing up perhaps you are doing what you like over what they like. Their schedules are crazy so offering a 12 week study is not going to interest them when it is hard enough to find time in their schedules for family and relaxation.

We Must Defeminize the Local Church

Even today Jesus is often defeminized when you go to a bookstore and look at his picture. Even in church they appear that way. Jesus is portrayed as mild manner and soft spoken. Most men are anything but. Jesus was not always like that either as you remember how He turned over the moneychangers in the temple. We often rise up the mild manner Jesus and leave out the charging Jesus.

We Must Engage the Mind of Men To get men back and involved we need to change the way we run church. Men often struggle in a classroom environment so that is why Jesus did not sit them behind desks or hand out study guides. Conversation works better than lecture for men. They want to think about big things so discuss issues that are real to them. Engage their minds and challenge them to do something together that they cannot do alone.

Put Masculine Musicians Back Leading Worship Effeminate musicians are big turnoff to men in church (1 Timothy 2:8). The songs chosen are often hard for men to sing because males have lower voices and can’t sing the higher registered songs so they don’t sing at all and are turned off. Worship music is often too sentimental for guy tastes. The presence of enthusiastic male worshipers is statistically associated with the following outcomes: Congregational growth, Congregational health, Unity in the church, Increased giving, and Retention of young men.

Most Men Don’t Wear Gucci David Murrow offers a 35-minute session titled, “Ten Ways

fact the average parable of Jesus can be taught comfortably in under a minute. It’s not the length of your message, but its impact that changes men’s lives.

1. A Manly Pastor. Men don’t like macho or pow-

Jeffery Painter came up with a good list of songs that most men like that are more manly than girly. Look at the list and consider when was the last time any of these made your list. Here is JEFFREY PAINTER’S LIST OF GOOD WORSHIP SONGS FOR MEN8 : 1. Solid Rock – Delirious 2. Our God – Chris Tomlin 3. I Will Follow – Chris Tomlin 4. Awakening – Chris Tomlin 5. Your Grace Is Enough – Chris Tomlin 6. Indescribable – Chris Tomlin 7. Holy Is The Lord – Chris Tomlin 8. How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin 9. On Our Side – Chris Tomlin 10. Mighty Is The Power Of The Cross – Chris Tomlin 11. God Of This City – Chris Tomlin 12. Exalted (Yahweh) – Chris Tomlin 13. Let God Arise – Chris Tomlin 14. Not To Us – Chris Tomlin 15. Famous One – Chris Tomlin 16. Awesome Is The Lord Most High – Chris Tomlin 17. Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) – Chris Tomlin 18. The Noise We Make – Chris Tomlin 19. Better Is One Day – Matt Redman 20. Come Let Us Return To The Lord – Matt Redman 21. Salvation – Charlie Hall 22. Revolution Cry – Jason Wade 23. You Are God Alone – Phillips, Craig, and Dean 24. My Hope Is In You – Third Day 25. King Of Glory – Third Day 26. By His Wounds – Mac Powell & Brian Littrell 27. What If His People Prayed – Casting Crowns 28. If We Are The Body – Casting Crowns 29. Voice Of Truth – Casting Crowns 30. East To West – Casting Crowns 40. God Be Merciful To Me (Psalm 51) – Jars of Clay 41. We Win! – David Crowder Band 42. Here Is Our King – David Crowder Band 43. All Because of Jesus – Steve Fee 44. Awesome God (Your Voice) – Vicky Beeching (change a few words & it would be great!) 45. Blessed Be Your Name – Tree63 46. I Am Free – Newsboys 47. Alive – POD 48. Strong Tower – Kutless 49. Word Of God Speak – Mercy Me (Kutless Version) 50. Here Am I – Mercy Me 51. You’re Worthy Of My Praise – Jeremy Camp

er-hungry pastors, but a pastor who projects a healthy masculinity will draw men. This is because men see their churches through their pastor. If a man respects his pastor, then he likes his church. If a man doesn’t respect his pastor, he won’t like his church. Go ahead, ask a man about his church. He won’t talk about the ministries, or the facilities, or the programs; he’ll talk about the pastor.

2. Excellence is vital. Men are less forgiving of anything bad, hokey or half baked. The churches that are growing and attracting men consistently offer excellence – in the preaching, the music, the facility and the programs. You don’t have to be the best in town; just do what you do very well and men will be drawn. And if you can’t do something well, then don’t do it at all.

3. Give men space. Churches that attract men honor their need for space. Don’t force your men to hold hands or hug each other. If you must hug, there are safe ways to do it, as illustrated on my training DVD. And you should also be judicious when laying hands on men. These days we like to put people in “prayer mushrooms.” You know what I’m talking about – Vince asks for prayer and soon he’s mobbed, with hands all over him. The other men look at what happened to Vince, so they keep requests to themselves, for fear that they will be mobbed too.

4. Make Prayer Real. Christians speak normally

to one another, but when they talk to God they lapse into a strange language I call “prayer speak.” I’m not talking about speaking in tongues; prayer-speak is a nonstop petition to God, repeating his name over and over, punctuated by the word “just” (Father God, we just thank you for this day, Father God, and Father God, we just ask that you’d bless us Father God). The problem with prayer-speak is that it discourages plainspoken men from praying aloud, because they feel that their petitions need to be delivered in this “holy language.” If you want more men praying, cut the prayer-speak. 5. Honor Men’s Time. Nothing discourages men like a worship service that drags on and on. It’s no coincidence that African-American churches, known for their 3 hour worship services, are also very likely to have a man shortage. Jesus was not long winded; in 7 http://churchformen.com/ tools/ideas-for-your-church/tenways-to-man-up-your-church/.

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

to Man Up Your Church – Without Scaring the Women and Children Away.”7 Here are five of the ten in a brief summary to wet your appetite:

8 http://churchformen.com/tools/ideas-for-your-church/ good-worship-music-for-men/ Continued on Page 18

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Developing Male Friendly Churches 52. Walk By Faith – Jeremy Camp 53. My Fortress – Jeremy Camp 54. Hero – Skillet 55. Rebirthing – Skillet I know there are others, but this is a good initial list for all of us to consider. Have you heard why church is good for men? Here is a great list to ponder: • Churchgoers are more likely to be married and express a higher level of satisfaction with life. Church involvement is the most important predictor of marital stability and happiness. (Source: “Why Religion Matters: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability,” The Heritage Foundation Backgrounder, 1064, 25 January 1996, <www. heritage.org>.) • Religious participation leads men to become more engaged husbands and fathers. (Source: Penny Edgell (Becker) and Heather Hofmeister, “Work, Family and Religious Involvement for Men and Women,” Hartford Institute for Religion Research, <http://hirr.hartsem.edu>.) • Teens with religious fathers are more likely to say they enjoy spending time with dad and that they admire him. (Source: Christian Smith and Phillip Kim, “Religious Youth Are More Likely to Have Positive Relationships with Their Fathers,” University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 12 July 2002, findings based on the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1997).) Just as church is good for men, men are also very good for the local church. Here is something more to contemplate: • A study from Hartford Seminary found that the presence of involved men was statistically correlated with church growth, health, and harmony. Meanwhile, a lack of male participation is strongly associated with congregational decline. (Source: C. Kirk Hadaway, FACTs on Growth: A new look at the dynamics of growth and decline in American congregations based on the Faith Communities Today 2005 national survey of Congregations. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, http://hirr.hartsem.edu.) There are men who have voiced reasons why they just hate going to church. Their reasons are many. Men who do not attend church usually have more substantial reasons for not attending. Here are the most often mentioned:

18 1. Their Fathers Did Not Attend Church

-Continued

“Many men give their sons the impression that the church is not a place for real men by stereotyping Christian men as passive, effeminate, and henpecked – qualities no man desires,” says Frederick Davis, assistant pastor of the Almeda Church of Christ in Houston, TX. “As a result of their macho posturing, these men are inadvertently teaching their sons that church is only for women and wimps, and propagating new generations of unchurched men.” A man’s lackadaisical attitude towards church attendance can influence his children’s perceptions of religion. This behavior is especially destructive if the man has a son. It is difficult for a mother to convince her son that attending church is important if her husband invalidates her arguments by sleeping late on Sundays. “I would always wonder why my mom made me go to church when my father didn’t,” says Andre Ligon, a 40 year-old lawyer. “I didn’t think church was important because he never went.”

2. They Have Work To Get Done If They Are Going To Keep Up At the Office As companies downsize and lay-offs lurk around every corner, men feel compelled to work as much as they can to provide some measure of security for their families. Neglecting their own spiritual growth is a small sacrifice for men who desire to keep their families out of dire straits. George O’Neil, Sr., 63, retired, concurs. “When I got married and had children, I had to stop going to church as much as I used to because I had to get a steady job. I worked whenever I could get something which often meant on Sundays,” O’Neil said. “Something had to give -unfortunately, it was church.”

3. You Take An Offering For This and Another For That

With rising unemployment, higher taxes, and other financial woes, the last thing any man wants to see when he goes to church is a pastor with his hand out asking for more than his fair share of his income. “I could not take it anymore,” says Paul Johnson, a 52 year-old mailroom supervisor. “Before I could put my wallet away from the first offering, a battalion of collection plates would bombard me again. At one point, I thought I would have to start paying admission.

4. The Main Service Kept Getting Longer and More Rigid

Kenneth Davis, a 53-year old teacher, is a football fanatic. He loves to watch games from the kickoff until the final seconds tick away; however, going to church usually spoils his plans. “By the time they are done with announcements, hymns, and excruciatingly long sermons, it is almost halftime,” Davis says. “I know that going to church is important, but I like some time on Sundays to

5. They Have Lost Faith In God or Do Not Believe in God

I exhibit the tenets of Christianity outside of church much better than many of those people who attend church religiously.” Yes there is hypocrisy in the church at time, but that should not deter men from attending. There are many untrue images in the church, but people must realize that their commitment should be to Christ rather than the people who comprise the church. People often believe that Christians are supposed to be perfect when in fact, we are not.

7. Insensitive and Tack-less Pulpit

Men who grew up with a firm religious foundation have an easier time coping with adversity, but a test of faith sometimes can be enough to send even the most faithful servant fleeing from the fold. Dwayne Monroe, for example, was a model Christian. As a teenager, Monroe never missed a chance to worship the Lord. He attended Sunday school, Bible study, and was the pioneer of his church’s youth ministry. But his faith was tested when his father grew ill with prostate cancer. Monroe, whose mother died in a car accident, prayed daily for the Lord to heal his father, but to no avail. The elder Monroe died when his son was seventeen leaving the frightened child parentless. Feeling the Lord had forsaken him; Monroe cut all ties with his church and has not been back since. “I was always so faithful,” says the 26-year-old sales clerk. “But God took both of my parents from me and left me all alone. How could a God I’d been so faithful to leave me all alone?”

Several of the men interviewed for this piece agreed that the church is unsympathetic to their plights. Since many men attend church to mend their battered egos, they get upset when the minister adds insult to injury by attacking them in his sermon. I admit that men are victims of an insensitive pulpit. Historically, we (ministers) have spewed unintended condemnations toward men. Now they are rebelling against the church by not showing up. Whereas, it is difficult to rebel against employers or other authority figures in their lives without negative consequences, insurgence against the church is easier because the consequences are not so immediate. By not attending church, men feel powerful and in control because they are finally able to challenge authority and get away with it. All any man wants to hear is that he is doing a good job. The church needs to be more sensitive to that fact.”

He is only one of a swelling rank of men who refuse to accept the concept of an Almighty God. “I have never seen any physical evidence of God’s existence,” said James Turner, a 37 year-old engineer. “We’re taught to be logical in all aspects of our lives, but when it comes to religion, we are supposed to throw our logic out of the window and rely solely on faith. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that. Besides, if there were really a God, do you think the world would be so screwed up?” Reverend Clarence James, lecturer and author of a series chronicling African-American history, culture, and involvement in the Christian church, understands their dilemma. “Given the state of America, I can empathize with the men who refuse to believe that God would allow this country to become such a rancid place. But things can only get worse if our men stop believing and lose faith,” James said. “All I can do is ask non-believers to come to church one Sunday. Hopefully, we will say something or they will see something that will convince them that God is alive and working in their lives.”

Wrapping it Up! When men re-establish our connection with our creator Lord, we will see the fruit of healthier families, stronger communities, a society with substance, and world leaders who are equipped with integrity and purpose.

6. The Church Is Often Hypocritical

“I was appalled by all the backbiting and pettiness at my former church,” says Eric Townshend, a 22 year-old student. “Those people were supposed to be Christians, but they sure didn’t act like Christians. I feel that

On Point with Dr. Tom Cheyney

relax and do what I like to do. Sunday is my only day off.” I would be the first to acknowledge that services are sometimes too long, but I attribute it to waning church attendance. It’s true that we sometimes have too many things going on during service, but the pulpit is challenged to get in as much as possible because Sunday is the only day we see most the men we do have.

Recommended Resources:

How Guy Friendly Is Your Church? Test http://churchformen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/ Guy_Friendly_Test.pdf Eric Mason, Manhood Restored: How the Gospel Makes Men Whole. (Nashville: B&H Publising) 2013. Steve Sonderman, How To Build A Life-Changing Men’s Ministry. (Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers) 2010.

Dr. Tom Cheyney is the Exec-

utive Director of Missions for the Greater Orlando Baptist Association and serves as the Executive Editor for the Missions Rising Magazine. He is the Founder & Directional Leader of the Renovate National Church Revitalization Conference and provides various training events designed for the local church.

MISSIONS RISING 6 REMARKABLE TOOLS TO FORTIFY THE PASTOR WITHIN YOU.

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These one-day training events are offered locally each month on the third Thursday and as arranged annually across North America. These events train pastors, staff, and laity in the necessary skill sets for the revitalization and renewal of the local church. Anyone is welcome at these monthly events and we promote them a month in advance allowing those who want to fly in to do so.

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annually across North America. These events train church planters, church planting teams, and laity of the church plant in the necessary skill sets for the planting, reproducing, and multiplying of the local church. The local Central Florida events are offered for free while some of the national one-day events have a cost associated with the event.

ReproducingChurches.com/OneDay

Sponsor Churches Rising We talk a lot about “sending” churches today, but what does that mean when we are also talking about church planting and what do sending churches do? Other terms for sending churches are partner, mother, starting, and sponsor. All of these terms can be used interchangeably when we refer to churches that start churches. For the purpose of this article, I’ll just use the word “sponsor” to refer to all of the actives of church planting from the perspective of an established church that is starting new churches. Churches beget churches. Associations, conventions and mission boards do not start churches, they only help churches to reproduce and multiply into new expressions of the body of Christ. The role of the association in church planting is, what I like to call the ACTS of church planting – Assessing, Coaching, Training and Supporting. However, it is the local church that does the heavy lifting in church planting such as: recruiting, developing, training, supervising, deploying, and sending church planters and church planting teams. This is what sponsor churches do.

Recruiting and Raising Up Church Planters

I don’t really like to use the word “recruiting” when it comes to church planters. I’d much rather be writing about raising-up church planters from within the church. However, the reality is that most sponsor churches recruit church planters from outside the church or even outside the city and bring them in to plant churches. Even church planting centers that offer local church based residency programs often look outside the local body for perspective church planters instead of raising them up from within. In the ideal situation, the sponsor church discovers church planters either through recruitment or by raising them up internally. However church planters are often born in churches that do not plant churches. Before the Internet and the proliferation of books and conferences on church planting, the dreams of these church planters would die in a sterile church. “You can’t do that!” they would be told by someone in authority. And, since there was very little information available to them, these would-be

church planters sometimes did not pursue what they felt to be God’s calling on their lives. The information age has changed that and has created a greater interest in church planting. Now, many potential church planters start out by contacting their denominational and associational leaders before consulting with their own pastors or church leaders regarding an interest in starting new churches. I’ve experienced this many times myself. I’ve received numerous inquires from people interested in starting new churches who have not considered talking to someone in their local church before reaching out to the association regarding church planting opportunities in the area. I always ask them, “What does your pastor think about your desire to start a church?” The response is usually something like this: “Well, I haven’t told my pastor about my church planting aspirations.” “Why not?” I would ask. “Well, I don’t think that he would be in favor of me planting a church.” “Why not?” Would be my reply. “Our church has not planted any churches in several years and it is struggling just to keep the people we have. I don’t think my pastor would be in favor of sending me or anyone else out to plant a church. He would think that it would hurt our church.” At this point, I would encourage the church planter to make an appointment with his pastor. I usually offer to go along with him, if the pastor wants me to be there. Sometimes, the pastor is sympathetic and agrees that God may be calling this person to start a church, but doesn’t think that the church is “ready.” At this point, I’ll explain to the pastor that he is caught in an awkward situation. It is as if his teenage son is asking to drive the family car and the father is telling him that it would be too much of a hardship on the family if he let him drive the car. It is ok if he wants to go through the process to get a learner’s permit, but he will not be able to drive – ever. At this point, the church plant-

This is where recruitment comes in. A church that desires to plant, but has not raised up any church planters recruits church planters from other churches who do not want to plant. The denomination or association, at this point, acts like an adoption agency – paring the orphaned church planter up with a new family that is willing to launch him. It is important that the adoptive sponsor church makes sure that the orphaned church planter is a good match for them. In this scenario, I encourage the recruiting sponsor church to interview the prospective church planter as they would a potential staff member. It is important to make sure that there is doctrinal, missional and philosophical alignment. This does not mean that an adopted church planter has to start a church that is exactly the same stylistically as the sponsor church. On the contrary, church plants should be culturally relevant to their target community. Recruiting church planters is a legitimate means of becoming a sponsor church. However an alternative approach is to raise up church planters from within the church. This is done as an extension of the sponsor church’s discipleship and leadership development process. For most churches, this means adding some new elements to their assimilation and development systems. The pastor needs to be comfortable with his Ephesians 4:12 role of developing new workers, leaders, and pastors. I am grateful that I came to Christ through the ministry of a church and under the leadership of a pastor that did just that. The small church that I grew up in always seemed to have some “preacher boys” who were being groomed for the ministry and mentored by the lead pastor. I was one of those preacher boys who was raised up from within and who was sent out to help plant a church from scratch. At the age of fifteen, I was not the lead planter, but my pastor encouraged me to be a part of the team that planted a new church in a community that was only three miles away

from the sponsor church. Whether it is through recruiting or raising up planters, the sponsor church needs to be sure that they are choosing the right leaders to start the next generation of churches. As I mentioned earlier, it is the sponsor church’s responsibility to vet potential church planters. The sponsor relationship with a church plant can be trying on both churches. Therefore, the sponsor church needs to make sure that the church planter is a good fit. The planter should meet the sponsor’s doctoral qualifications and he should be oriented on the sponsor church’s systems that will overlap with the church plant such as financial procedures, use of office equipment, support staff, etc.

Multiplying Churches with Mark Weible

er still has a desire to plant a church, but he may have to move out and join someone else’s family in order to do it.

Developing and Training Church Planters Not all sponsor churches are experts on church planting and they don’t have to be. But, a sponsor church needs to understand what church planters need in order to flourish and grow. The sponsor church should find out about all kinds of training available for church planters and make sure that the planters avail themselves of the various tools that will help them to start and grow healthy multiplying churches. Ideally, sponsor churches will develop their own church planting systems that include training and resourcing church planters. However, not every church needs to reinvent the wheel. The local association and the denomination often have people trained in church planting who can, not only train church planters, but train sponsor churches to train church planters. Church planting conferences, such as the Exponential Conference that takes place in Orlando each year are a good way for potential church planters to be exposed to a lot of helpful information. However, most church planters will also need some form of systematic training that deals with critical issues such as vision casting, team building, strategic planning and donor development. These courses, Continued on Page 28

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Sponsor Churches Rising which take place over several days or weeks are available through the association or denomination. Many church planters do not have prior ministry experience and they may need training in basic pastoral ministry skills. Sponsor churches can help develop church planters by allowing them opportunities to shadow ministry leaders and learn from practical experience. Some sponsor churches have developed church planter residency programs that last anywhere from six months to a year. During the residency, church planters can learn basic skills that are needed for any church leadership setting. While a church planter is in residence, he can continue to do research, work on his church planting strategy, develop his team and raise support for the new work.

Supervising Church Planters

One of the primary roles of the sponsor church is that of supervising their church planters. The church planter should be considered an employee of the primary sponsor church. He should have someone to be accountable to and should report regularly on his actives. If not the lead pastor, someone should be designated as the point of contact for the church planter. This person does not need to act like the church planterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boss, but rather should serve in a supporting role and coordinate the work of the two churches. Sponsor churches often have a mission development team that helps the church planter to connect with the sponsor church on various levels and this is encouraged. However, the church planter should have just one point of contact who can represent the sponsor church on a day to day basis. The more that the sponsor church knows about church panting the better. However, neither the sponsor church nor its leaders need to know everything about church planting. It is possible that the church planter may know more about how to start a church from scratch and to reach an unreached community than anyone at the sponsor church. It is

ok to view the church planter as the expert while the church provides some guidance in areas such as financial issues, legal issues, organizational structure, and denominational relationships. It is important to realize that there are significant differences between a church planter and a legacy church pastor. Church planters typically conduct their daily activities vastly different than established church pastors. For example, church planters are likely to spend less time on sermon preparation and more time on community engagement than legacy pastors. Church planters usually do less counseling and hospital visitation than pastors of established churches. Church planters are usually wired differently than legacy church pastors. They are more likely to have a maverickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart; an entrepreneurial bent and to be more big-pictured oriented than the average pastor. Church planters are also less likely to be organized and detail oriented than established church pastors. These differences may cause some misunderstandings between the planter and the sponsor church. It is important that the sponsor church discover the characteristics of effective church planters and how to work with them without stifling them. Not all of the processes and procedures used in the sponsor church will be necessary or effective in a new church start. The sponsor church should also be prepared to learn some new things from the planter and the new church plant.

Deploying and Sending Church Planting Teams

A healthy sponsor church will allow and encourage church planters to recruit team members from the sponsor church. The lead pastor can set the example by introducing the planter to the church at large and letting the church know that the planter will be looking for families to go with him to be a part of the new church plant. The church body may need to be taught that this it is normal and healthy for churches to give their resources (including money and people) away to help new churches to get started. Sponsor churches should not fear the

The response of the church at Antioch to the leading of God’s Holy Spirit to send out Barnabas and Saul is a great model for churches to emulate today. Sponsor churches often have Acts 13 sending services where the members of the sponsor church lay hands on church planters, their families and team members who are being sent out. This type of public display of support for church planting teams helps to solidify the relationship between the sponsor church and church plants. It helps leaders of the church’s various ministries to set the priority to offer support for church planting on all levels. When a church gives birth to another church, it involves the entire body. It is not just a mission project that affects only one group within the church; it is an opportunity for every organization within the church to celebrate God’s work of redeeming a lost world through the testimony and service of His people. Youth and children’s ministries can get involved in church planting by offering their leaders and resources to the church plants. The leaders can offer to train the new leaders in the church plant. The children and youth themselves can get directly involved if the plant is local. They can also collect and package equipment that the new church will need in their youth and children’s ministries. The hospitality ministry of the sponsor church can offer to help park cars, serve as greeters and man the refreshment table during the first few weeks of the new church’s launch. Senior adults can be encouraged to volunteer to help new churches and to pray for the church planting teams. Likewise, deacons, elders and other church leaders can offer their services as new churches ramp up their leadership training and

development processes. The church support staff and volunteers can help to provide critical services to church plants as they develop their own internal systems. The financial team of the sponsor church can process donations for church plants until the new church develops their own financial system. It can be difficult for a new church to establish a checking account with a local bank until the church has at least some basic legal documents in place. Some sponsor churches establish designated checking accounts for church plants using a DBA (Doing Business As) in the name of the new church. With the sponsor church using their relationship with their own bank, the church plant may be able to save money on banking fees and get their own account set up much faster.

Multiplying Churches with Mark Weible

loss of critical recourses, because we believe that God will take care of those who give sacrificially for the sake of His kingdom. There is no Biblical basis for churches hoarding resources, but plenty of evidence that it is God’s plan for churches to send their people and their money in support of the mission of the gospel.

The sponsor church can also help the new church to obtain liability insurance coverage. Most venues will require that the new church provide proof of liability insurance before a contract can be signed to rent a facility for public worship services. The sponsor church can secure a rider on their own insurance policy to help a church plant to obtain proof of liability quickly and less expensively than getting insurance on their own. Sponsor churches can do a lot to provide spiritual and material support for church plants. A sacrificial attitude that results in sending and giving will result in joyous blessings for church plants and the sponsor churches alike.

Rev. Mark Weible serves

the Greater Orlando Baptist Association as the Church Planting Director. He joined the GOBA team in 2002. Mark co-leads the GOAL Leadership training besides serving as our Web architect. Mark serves as the Directional Leader of ReproducingChurches.com.

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