Sometimes You Have to Hurt Their Feelings By Mark Weible And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. (Matthew 16:18) Let’s face it, some people just don’t like change and they will resist it all the way. There can be a number of reasons for this – personality, temperament, behavioral style, values, traditionalism, sentimentality, a desire for power or family heritage. But, you can’t revitalize a church without change. Yes, we worship a God who never changes, but everything and everyone that He touches changes. Resisting change is resisting God – not a sign of spiritual maturity. The church revitalizer should be patient and persuasive when dealing with people who are resistant to change. Most of the time, given the right information and inspiration, you can convince them to move forward for the good of the church and the sake of the Kingdom. But sometimes, you just have to hurt their feelings. There is an unwritten rule in American culture that no one should ever be offended. One place where that is not written is in the Bible. Jesus offended people everywhere He went, especially religious people who resisted change. And, I am sure that He hurt some feelings along the way. Jesus simply told the Truth and often the message of the Truth is that, “You need to change!” One church that resisted revitalization was the church at Ephesus. In her heyday, this church was the darling of the New Testament. There is more information in the NT about Ephesus than any other church. Luke dedicated two chapters of the Acts of the Apostles to Ephesus. Paul spent 3 ½ years in Ephesus and wrote two epis-
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tles to them. John may have written his gospel while in Ephesus and he wrote I, II, and III John to the Church at Ephesus and Ephesus is the first church mentioned in The Revelation. However, In His instructions to the Church at Ephesus, Jesus threatened to shut the church down if she did not… “Repent and do the things you did at first.” (Revelation 2:4). I am sure there were some hurt feelings in Ephesus when the members of the church got the news that Jesus was not pleased with them. But the message for the church was clear – change or get shut down. No one should take pleasure in hurting another person’s feelings, but If you find it necessary to do so, just remember that you are in good company. Karl Vaters has some advice for pastors who struggle with doing the right thing when it might hurt someone’s feelings: Don’t let their feelings dictate your actions. If you do, you give them more power. Whether you’re doing what they want or pushing back against it, you’re in reactive
