Respect Magazine - June 2022 by RespectLGBT

JUNE 2022

Magazine

Join us to celebrate 50 years of Pride Taking a look at Allyship And much more……

Pride for all!

A letter from the editor: Dan Sayers-Yates As the warm weather firmly sets in, we’re gearing up for Pride Month and the rest of the Pride season. This is the first issue of the magazine to be curated by the revamped network, which you can learn more about. We’ve worked hard and we’re really excited to finally share it with you, so we hope you enjoy it! This year marks the 50th anniversary of Pride here in the UK, so make sure to get involved as I can only imagine the celebrations will be more electrifying than ever. It’s going to be a big affair for Co-op this year too, as we’ll be supporting 23 Pride events across the UK! It’ll be the first time we attend Pride in London too, where we’ll be celebrating in style on our very own float in the parade. 2

If you’re going to be joining this or any of the other events that’ll be taking place we’d love to hear about it, so share your pics or videos with us by tagging them with @CoopUK and @CoopRespectLGBT when posting. It would be remiss of me not to mention the war in Ukraine and the impact this is having, not just on the LGBTQ+ community, but on society as a whole. It’s a bleak reminder that freedom is precious and something we shouldn’t take for granted. Finally, as I reflect on the upcoming Pride season I think it’s important to note that whilst Pride brings focus to the inequalities still being faced by the LGBTQ+ community, it’s something we need to practice all year round. There’s still a long way to go for our trans/non-binary family in particular to get the same rights as the rest of us. I hope you have a safe and happy Pride!

Meet the Team COMMUNICATIONS Hi I’m Dan, my pronouns are he/ him and I’m one of the Comms Leads within Respect as well as a Junior Project Manager. Being able to engage colleagues in meaningful ways is really important, as it helps ensure our messages connect with as many people as possible. I believe that making a difference starts with having clear communication channels, which work both ways. We really want to be able to listen to LGBTQ+ colleagues, so we can use this insight to help shape the network around what you want from us. EVENTS

Hi I'm Lindsay, my pronouns are she/her, and I‘m a Store Manager and also one of the Events Leads in the Respect network, alongside Adam. Inclusion is so important and I want us to be able to reach as many colleagues as possible through our events. Coming out was extremely isolating for me and I want all colleagues to know that there is support out there, not only for our LGBTQ+ colleagues but for all colleagues. That way we can support each other and ensure that everyone is feeling included and happy. REACH & REPRESENTATION Hi I’m Nicky, my pronouns are she/her/they/them and I’m a Seasonal Strategy Manager and one of the Reach and Representation Leads within Respect. Both Nat and I are responsible for increasing the networks reach to colleagues, ensuring we’re representing those with more marginalised identities. We believe all colleagues should be visible and that nobody is left out because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or trans status. 3

DEVELOPMENT Hi I’m Terry, my pronouns are he/him and I’m one of the Development Leads in Respect. Myself and Skye are really excited to help colleagues across Co-op and be the support we didn’t necessarily have ourselves when we were younger. As an Area Manager I meet many new colleagues and customers each day and listen to their stories, which makes me want to make a difference. In Development we explore what opportunities there are to educate others on LGBTQ+ history and raise awareness of issues still facing our community.

SECRETARIAT Hi I'm Alex, my pronouns are she/her and I'm the Secretariat for the Respect Network. I also work in the People Advisory Service, where I focus on supporting the Food Support Centre Hub. I have lots of experience in building relationships with colleagues. I want to use my skills to make sure that the Respect network is organised and easy to interact with, which hopefully means we can make a difference in the Co-op! If you want to become more involved in the network or would like to grab a cuppa, get in touch! You can email any of the steering committee at RespectLGBT@coop.co.uk.

Demands not heard! Pride: then and now By Haydn Rothwell

This year marks 50 years of Pride in the UK! Here, we’ll take you on a journey through key LGBTQ+ moments since the first Pride protest in 1972 and look at what still needs to change for LGBTQ+ people today and moving forward. 1970’s On 1 July 1972, the Gay Liberation Front (GLF) organised the first UK Pride march, calling for gay rights. Around 2,000 people marched through the capital from Hyde Park to Trafalgar Square. There were many other milestones in the 70’s, Britain’s first gay newspaper, Gay News, was founded, which reported on discrimination and campaigned for law reform. Switchboard, a support helpline that still runs today, was established. This decade also gave us the first openly lesbian MP, Maureen Colquhoun.

1980’s The 80’s brought a sad and dark time for the LGBTQ+ community. In 1981, the first UK case of AIDS was recorded. This would come to be known as a ‘gay disease’, as many of the patients were either gay or bisexual men. Terry Higgins died of AIDS in 1982, which led his partner Rupert Whittaker, Martyn Butler and friends to set up The Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK’s first AIDS charity. The Prime Minister at the time, Margaret Thatcher, introduced Section 28. This was a piece of legislation which put a ban on local authorities from ‘promoting homosexuality’, which basically banned any discussion of LGBTQ+ issues in school. In a response to the introduction of Section 28, in 1989, Stonewall was co-founded by 4

Sir Ian McKellen, becoming a group famous for campaigning for LGBTQ+ rights.

1990’s It wasn’t until 1992 that homosexuality was removed from the World Health Organisation’s classification of mental disorders. Until then, many LGBTQ+ people were subjected to aversion treatments and damaging counselling due to listing in 1968. The age of consent for homosexual acts was lowered from 21 to 18 in 1994, though the lesbian age of consent was not set. In the same year, the London Lesbian Avengers were founded. This decade also saw the founding of trans youth charity Mermaids, which is a charity and organisation that supports gender variant and transgender youth and provides inclusion and diversity training.

2000’s The 2000’s saw a lot of positive change for LGBTQ+ people. The Scottish Government voted on a Bill to eliminate Section 28 at the end of 2000, however the Bill was defeated in England and Wales. In 2001, the UK Government lifted a ban on gay, lesbian and bisexual people serving in the armed forces and also saw the age of consent for gay and bisexual men lowered to 16. The following year, the Adoption and Children Act allowed gay and lesbian people to adopt in the UK. 2003 finally saw the repeal of Section 28 in both England and Wales and the Employment Equality Regulations brought in a legislation that made it illegal to discriminate against LGBT people in the workplace. The Civil Partnership Act was introduced, which gave same-sex couples the same rights as heterosexual married couples and the Gender Recognition Act, giving trans people full legal recognition in their appropriate gender. This also allowed trans people to obtain a new birth certificate, though the gender options were limited to ‘male’ and ‘female.

indecency’ for homosexual acts, was granted a posthumous royal pardon. This saw the introduction of the ‘Alan Turing Law’ (also known as The Policing and Crime Act) in 2017. The law pardoned all historic cases of criminal convictions of gross indecency.

2020’s Despite significant progress over the past 50 years, we still have some way to go in our fight for equality.

Looking at the LGBTQ+ rights around the world, being gay is still illegal in over 70 countries and punishable by death in six, with only 30 countries allowing same-sex marriage. Here in the UK, Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia are still prevalent. In particular, we see the continued attack and hostile discourse in the media and society that makes it increasingly unsafe for trans people to live their lives. We continue to see a rise in LGBTQ+ hate crimes, meaning that LGBTQ+ people are still at risk of attack for being who they are. Many children and young people, who either are LGBTQ+ or perceived to be as such, are being bullied by their peers, mainly in schools, therefore we need to ensure that our education system has LGBTQ+ inclusion as part of its curriculum. Mental health, anxiety, depression and loneliness disproportionately affect LGBTQ+ people, so ensuring that the government provides adequate access to support is vital.

2010’s This decade saw the introduction of the Equality Act, which enacts for equal treatment in access to employment, regardless of age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation. We also saw the introduction of same sex marriage. The Act allowed any same-sex couple the opportunity to be married just as heterosexual couples. The first same-sex marriage took place in England and Wales on 29 March 2014. In 2013, Alan Turing, the cryptographer who helped to decipher the German Enigma code in WWII, had previously been chemically castrated due to ‘gross 5

In addition, if you check out our later article on what Pride in London is campaigning for this year, it’s a telling story of our continued fight.

It's fair to say that the UK has come a long way in the past 50 years, but looking around us today, it’s clear to see that we are still a long way from true equality. Here are just a few things we’re still fighting for. After back and forth dialogue with the government with regards to banning conversion therapy, it was concluded that the ban would go ahead, but not cover our trans family. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer people condemned the decision, asserting that any ban that doesn’t include trans people isn’t a real ban. Allyship doesn’t only mean straight, cis gender people supporting LGBTQ+ people, allyship also includes LGBTQ+ people supporting each other. A small minority of queer people believe that trans people don’t belong within the LGBTQ+ family, most notably the LGB Alliance. There may be different reasons why some people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, might not feel ready or able to support trans people. We have found though that all these reasons originate from ignorance that has sadly led to transphobia. Until ALL people have equality, the fight continues.

We’re also still fighting for equality within sport. Recently hitting the headlines is swimmer Lia Thomas, who made history by becoming the first known trans athlete to win a National Collegiate Athletic Association swimming championship for the 500m freestyle. Her victory was met with outrage from multiple groups, with some stating that as Lia was born biologically male, this gives her an advantage within the sport. On the 16 May 2022, Jake Daniels made headlines as the first openly gay professional footballer in the UK in 32 years – the first being John Fashanu in 1990. Daniels, who plays forward for Blackpool, follows in the footsteps of Adelaide United player, Josh Cavallo, who came out in 2021. Daniels has been applauded for making the brave decision to come out. Where his story is one of joy and should rightly be celebrated, there is still a long way to go before LGBTQ+ people feel accepted and safe within sport, specifically football. Stonewall have created the Rainbow Laces campaign, creating a symbol of inclusion within sport, working on visibility for LGBTQ+ people and our experiences.

Spotlight on... By Damian Peters

To celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Pride in the UK, for the first time in Co-op history, this year we will be represented at Pride in London. Pride in London is the largest Pride event in the UK and arguably the most diverse, with the last event in 2019 attracting over 1.5million people. That year, 30,000 people marched in the parade, representing nearly 600 organisations. We caught up with Chris Joell-Deshields, Executive Director of Pride in London to find out more... 8

How did you come to be the Executive

Director of Pride in London? As a Londoner, I had been a long-time attendee of Pride events in the capital. In 2017, I jumped at the opportunity to join Pride in London’s volunteer team as a Resident & Business Liaison Manager. Just over a year ago, in March of 2021, I became the Executive Director, giving me the privilege to lead a team of over 150 dedicated and diverse volunteers and helping to drive the empowerment of everyone within London’s LGBTQ+ communities.

took place in the UK. To commemorate this anniversary, the parade will trace the route of the historic 1972 march, passing important sites across the capital. It also gives the opportunity for the LGBTQ+ community to recognise those activists who were brave enough to come out in 1972 to march for our liberation and pave the way for the rights we enjoy today. We are delighted to have received tens of thousands of applications for the parade, with more than 420 community groups taking part, for whom it will be free to enter for the first time.

What do you hope to achieve as Executive

There will also be various other special moments to mark this anniversary – watch this space!

Director for Pride in London?

What is Pride in London campaigning

After a two-year hiatus, my main priority is delivering a truly memorable Pride event. We want all members of the community to join us to help us drive a platform for LGBTQ+ communities to raise awareness of the importance of visibility, unity and equality and encourage people to campaign and stand for each other within the community. Pride started and continues to be a protest, and there is still so much more to do. Furthering this cause and the visibility of LGBTQ+ people is my top priority for this and every year.

for in 2022? Pride in London is our city’s volunteer-powered LGBTQ+ force that unites our voice, amplifies our diversity and protests against inequality. Beyond celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community and promoting its visibility, the parade is an occasion of advocacy, with Pride in London calling on the UK Government to:

Ban conversion therapy for all LGBTQ+ people

Reform the Gender Recognition Act

To help support us on our mission we are looking for even more enthusiastic people to join the organisation and represent London’s LGBTQ+ community. Prospective volunteers are encouraged to visit our website to sign up.

Provide equal protection for LGBTQ+ communities against hate crime

End its hostile environment toward migrants

It’s been nearly 3 years since the last

Establish a national AIDS memorial that acknowledges the impact of HIV and AIDS, and those we have lost

Take a leading role in tackling violence and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people around the globe

Since I started my role over 12 months ago, there have been many changes at Pride. We have many new volunteers and there has been a huge shift in direction in the way we do things.

Pride in London. What does that mean for Pride in London this year? After three long years, Pride in London is officially returning on 2 July, the UK’s biggest, most diverse Pride. A home for every part of London’s LGBTQ+ community. This year is a very special year, as we commemorate 50 years since the first Pride march 9

Pride in London has recently set up the Unity Fund. Tell us more about that and what it hopes to achieve. The Unity Fund is a new initiative that we have launched that is designed to build stronger communities by providing one-off grants to grassroots organisations, which address the needs of London’s LGBTQ+ community. I am pleased to say that we have so far raised over £100K for the fund and will shortly be opening a second round of applications. The Unity Fund is also our way of transforming our commercial partnerships into activism - fuelling our advocacy work and ensuring Pride remains the protest movement it always has been. So far, we have supported grassroot organisations such as the House of Rainbow, FTM, Black Trans Alliance, Sutton LGBT Forum and others.

Why is Pride so important to you personally?. Pride can be such a celebration of who you are as an individual. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and proudly stand tall in a safe space as a black gay man. There are many LGBTQ+ people who are denied this opportunity, therefore having the opportunity to be active and visible in Pride knowing that it provides a level of representation to the marginalised is deeply meaningful to me.

What was your experience of growing up as an LGBTQ+ person? I grew up on the beautiful island of Bermuda having a very happy childhood. As I grew up I felt that my sexuality made me vulnerable in a very conservative and Christian dominated environment. Having the opportunity to study and live in the UK, allowed me to accept my sexuality and live in a very authentic way. 10

You’ve written about racism within the LGBTQ+ community. Tell us about your experience and how you are using your platform to highlight this issue? As a Black gay man, I am acutely aware of the racism that exists in the wider LGBTQ+ community, as elsewhere in our society. Research by Stonewall indicates that 51% of Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic LGBTQ+ people have experienced discrimination in LGBTQ+ Communities. This is not shocking, but it shows that racism is a serious problem in LGBTQ+ communities and needs to be addressed. At Pride in London, we have taken important steps to address these issues within our own organisation by diversifying our leadership team, introducing new policies and procedures and taking actions that lay the foundation for us to become an anti-racist organisation. Our journey means that there is a culture shift that is intertwined with our core values of Visibility, Unity and Equality. We are also engaging more with our community members, ensuring greater opportunity to help make the community truly representative, and driving our Unity Fund to improve truly diverse activism across the LGBTQ+ space. Through this, we hope to offer leadership to ensure that Pride in London leads inclusivity and provides a home for every part of the LGBTQ+ community. Pride must offer a safe, welcoming, respectful environment: no ifs, no buts. Staying true to our values, without exception, is the best way to enhance our offering to our community, and set an example others will want to follow. We are incredibly fortunate to be celebrating Pride's 50th anniversary this year: connecting and engaging the world through joy and diversity is a powerful mission.

What are your reflections of the achievements of the LGBTQ+ community so far?

What is Pride in London doing to mark this milestone year?

We have come a long way since 1972 but there is still a long way to go. Homosexuality had been decriminalised in England before that year, and it took until 2001 for the age of consent to be equal in law to our heterosexual counterparts. But inequalities and homophobia continue to exist.

This year, we have a renewed focus on recognising those who came before us that helped in our ongoing civil struggle for equality. Pride, whilst a celebration, is and always will be a protest for our community to be equal to the majority in every way.

Pride is always an important annual milestone, but its 50-year anniversary is even more significant this year. We want to mark how far we have come but also show how far we have to go by amplifying the voices of our community who are celebrating our progress, incensed at our continued marginalisation and who are hungry for our rights to be recognised. We hope to achieve this through the amazing efforts of Pride in London’s volunteer-powered LGBTQ+ force that unites our voices, amplifies our diversity, and protects our rights.

As the team works on final plans, I can say that there will be lots of surprises in store and a number of world-class acts performing. As always, the parade will include hundreds of representatives from the community, with this year’s route tracing part of the iconic 1972 march. There will also be a huge celebratory event at Trafalgar Square. Stay tuned!

Pride in London will take place on 2 July. Visit prideinlondon.org for more information.

End of the Rainbow: LGBTQ+ in the frontline By Sean Walsh

For those who are staying in their home country, it can be a place of hardship. If those who surround you are not supportive, it can be incredibly lonely and in times of war, not knowing if your neighbour will have your back will be devastating. However, many are staying as it is their home and they don’t want to give it up. And many are joining the civilian defences around the country to help defend their home. The director of Kyiv Pride Lenny Ensom says on the people staying and fighting ”… Our country needs us right now and we will win if we stay here, and we will fight back against Russian aggression. If we just flee from war, nothing will stop the Russians then.” Millions of people have left and for those people leaving it could be journey fraught with tension and danger. They may be travelling with people who are prejudiced, or they may have to hide who they are which comes with its own pain, on top of having had to leave their home. Those that have left have added trauma of making sure that their friends and relatives back home are safe and supported, with many helping to organise efforts to help their country from abroad. Being homosexual is not illegal in Ukraine, and LGBTQ+ people do have some legal protections such as being allowed in the military, trans and non-binary people can change their documentation to match their identity and there is discrimination protection when it comes to housing. However, there is a way to go. The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association has rated Ukraine 36th out of 49 European countries and public opinion is low when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community, though it could start to change with President Volodymyr Zelensky publicly standing up and supporting LGBTQ+ rights and has doubled in the years 2010 to 2017 according to Rainbow Europe. For those that do leave, they will most likely be heading to Poland or Hungary to begin with – both being close but also both with alarming views on LGBTQ+ issues. There have been instances of trans men and women being stopped at the border and strip searched, incorrectly identified, beaten and turned back from the border. Poland has created so-called ‘LGBT Free Zones’, about 100 towns, cities and villages that are said to be completely free of LGBTQ+ people and 13

influence. Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orban has long battled against the LGBTQ+ community, though his latest attempt to get an anti-LGBTQ+ bill through failed as not enough people voted to make it binding. “No one really wants to come to Hungary,” Krisztina Kolos Orbán, Transvanilla’s vice president, tells TIME about the LGBTQ Ukrainians the group has spoken with. “Those that come want to go through the country as quickly as possible.”

Obviously, the one place people are not going to turn to is Russia.

President Vladimir Putin has a long history of anti-LGBTQ+ views, enacting the ‘gay propaganda law’ in 2013 and waging war on the LGBTQ+ community ever since. He is a big supporter of Ramzan Kadyrov, the leader of Chechnya and said to be behind the horrific purges of anyone deemed to be homosexual and the camps they have been thrown in to. There have been many accounts of the horrific conditions, torture and killings that have been going on in these camps and elsewhere in Chechnya – they have of course denied this and said that it cannot be true as there are no gay people in Chechnya. For LGBTQ+ people in Ukraine, they’re fighting for their identities as well as their freedom. If you want to help the people of Ukraine, please consider donating to Disasters Emergency Committee (dec.org.uk)

Joe Kessler: Respect Co-Sponsor By Dan Sayers-Yates

Joe Kessler is a recent addition to the Co-op exec, joining the business in November 2021. With an extensive background in transformation roles, he’s worked in many organisations around the world and more recently sponsored the LGBTQ+ network within Lloyds of London. Joe identifies as an openly gay man and is a father of two.

within the guidelines. There have also been employment challenges with being a man and seeking time off to care for our children at birth. As well as ensuring our children are confident and prepared to answer questions by school administrators and students about two same sex parents.

What made you decide to join Co-op?

Honestly, I’ll need to understand more to answer this question. But, a simple answer is inclusion. All people want to be included and engaged. When people feel this value they literally light-up with contribution. Imagine any organisation of people beaming from this impact!

I joined the Co-op for 3 reasons. First, cooperating for a fairer world resonates with me both personally and professionally. Secondly, Co-op has an aspiration to improve it’s financial position with expenses and I can really help. Finally, the people. As I met the team I’d be working with it became a clear fit for me.

As Respect’s interim sponsor, why did you wanted to get involved with the network? I am so excited to be interim sponsor and honoured with the responsibility. Top priorities for me are human rights and inclusion, so everyone has an equal opportunity and feels whole. I’ve watched too many people, including children, feel excluded. This causes emotional damage and keeps people and organisations from reaching their full potential.

UK Father’s Day falls within Pride Month, what challenges have you faced being a LGBTQ+ father? The best job I’ve ever had in life is being a parent. Mostly, it’s been met with respect especially from the LGBTQ+ community. We have encountered issues though particularly when relocating, we’ve had immigration paper delays because same sex parents, with children born of surrogacy, don’t fit 14

What should Co-op focus on to help it become an employer of choice for more LGBTQ+ people?

“Top priorities for me are human rights and inclusion, so everyone has an equal opportunity and feels whole.” This year marks the 50th anniversary of Pride in the UK - why is Pride so important? Pride is important as many of our forefathers and foremothers didn’t have the same rights as us. They fought to accept us in society. They fought so homosexuality wasn’t considered a mental illness or punishable by jail or death. To this day, much of this is still true in some countries less progressive than the UK. But, we have further to go! There’s still too much prejudice, hate crimes and less than equal rights for adoption and surrogacy.

Do you have a favourite Pride memory you’d like to share? Two come to mind: the first in 2012, the year our daughter was born, and riding a little train with children of other same sex parents in Zurich, Switzerland. All of us were so proud. The second is London 2019, walking with my husband and both children representing Lloyd’s of London. My son who was five at the time was ‘high fiving’ thousands of people and had one of his best days, making sure people made it a great day!

Why is it important for people within the LGBTQ+ community to show allyship to each other? None us know what others are truly experiencing and feeling on the inside. Each of us has our own issues to deal with in our own time. Without the 15

support of a few of my friends decades ago I couldn’t have come out. Any journey is easier with partners!

How does Co-op’s policies compare with other organisations you’ve worked in? Progressive! We may need to do more, but as a comparison; I’ve been with organisations that don’t recognise paternal rights, health insurance for same sex partners or time off for same sex partners bereavement.

In your opinion, what do the LGBTQ+ community still need to fight for? Equality and acceptance throughout the world. Unfortunately, there are still places my family can’t visit easily without a bit of fear. Nobody should live in fear!

Laying Foundations of Change By Dan Sayers-Yates

The LGBT Foundation believes in a fair and equal society where all lesbian, gay bisexual and trans people can achieve their full potential. Their work started in 1975 and has changed the lives of LGBT people ever since. Over the last five decades, they’ve provided information, services and support for LGBTQ+ people who’ve had nowhere else to turn. They’ve been at the forefront of the social and legal changes that mean LGBTQ+ people in the UK have more rights than ever before. LGBT Foundation has grown to be the largest charity of its kind in the UK. In 2021, they had a reach of over one million people online, whilst supporting 20,000 LGBTQ+ people. They work in partnership with others to build strong, cohesive and influential LGBTQ+ communities and promote attitude change in society. 16

Pride Season at LGBT Foundation Pride season is a celebration of LGBTQ+ people living authentically, proudly and with dignity. The season is celebrated by a diverse array of campaigns, events and cultural moments across the country. Make sure to look out for them, as they’ll be appearing at some prides. If you’re attending Manchester Pride, feel free to drop in to their community centre, where they’ll have lots of activities and refreshments. There’ll be crafts, a community café, support and advice available and a space to escape the hustle and bustle of Pride. You’ll also be able to learn more about the work they do and how you can be part of our journey. Alternatively scan the QR code to go to their website.

Peter Batt: Being an LGBTQ+ ally By Kerry Jary Peter Batt, Divisional Managing Director for the South Division of Co-op Food Stores has long been a supporter of inclusion and diversity, including being a passionate ally of LGBTQ+ people. We caught up with Peter to talk about his views on allyship and more…

How will you continue to support the LGBTQ+ community n 2022? I have reverse mentored a trans colleague and will continue to try to learn about the LGBTQ+ community and will also encourage my team and wider network to do likewise. I’ll also be attending various Pride events and continuing to ask questions and understand what more we can do to make the lives of our colleagues and communities as positive as possible.

What does allyship mean to you and why do you think it's important?

How do you think our colleagues could support our LGBTQ+ communities?

If we’re to be a fully inclusive society, it’s important that we’re willing and want to support our colleagues and communities who may have not had the opportunities available to others. By listening, learning, and then influencing we can begin to make the difference we want to see.

Our colleagues could become members of the Respect network, reverse mentor a member of the LGBTQ+ community, attend Pride events, read, listen or watch different media, and most importantly have an appetite to listen and learn.

What does an active ally look like to you? Being present at local and national events, being prepared to listen and plan allocated time to understand the challenges that others may face, planning to read, watch and listen to various communications to enable a better understanding of what has happened, what is happening and then influencing the change going forward.

What motivates you to support the LGBTQ+ community? I’m motivated to make all of our communities as inclusive as possible and the LGBTQ+ communities are on a progressive journey where today’s society is a much freer and open place to live. I work with a number of LGBTQ+ colleagues and want them to feel as confident and respected as any other member of society. I always want to learn about others different to myself, to seek other perspectives and ultimately make me and others better people. 19

“I work with a number of LGBTQ+ colleagues and want them to feel as respected as any other member of society.”

This year we're attending 23 prides across the country - will you be attending or involved in any of these events this year? I’m really excited by the 50th anniversary of Pride in London and I will be making the time to attend a number of Prides across the South, looking forward to meeting many of our colleagues and communities.

Vivi Comes out: Questions, answers and acceptance By Damian Peters

Coming out can be a difficult time for LGBTQ+ people. We’re consumed by a million questions; am I sure this is who I am? Will I be accepted by my friends and family? What if I am rejected? It’s an anxious time for many LGBTQ+ people, and a decision that many delay for fear of what’s on the other side of the closet door. Being in the closet somehow feels safe, exposing your true self can seem daunting and overwhelming. We caught up with Vivi, a CTM in our St. Albans store who told us about her journey to self-discovery and coming out. 20

Why don’t you start by telling us a bit about yourself? Well, my actual name is Vidushi, but I prefer to go by Vivi and I am originally from India. I struggle to introduce myself because I’m not sure I know who I am just yet! I had all these plans on who I would be , but those plans have changed so much. I moved here in 2020 just before the pandemic started to study a bachelor’s degree, I graduate soon and become an actual full-time adult! I joined the Co-op in October 2020, my first job in the UK.

Have you always known you were LGBTQ+?

I’ve known since I was 12 that I was not straight, but I just brushed it off because it is not something we talk about back at home. I remember watching Scooby-Doo and hoping someday I would have a boyfriend like Shaggy, but also looking at Velma and hoping to have a girlfriend too! In India, there was no representation of LGBTQ+ people and relationships so for years I felt like something was wrong with me. I wanted to keep that part of me hidden because society made me feel like it was wrong. Thinking back, I feel so sad for the 15-year-old me who liked this girl in school but didn’t have the courage to confess it. I think we don’t focus enough on how LGBTQ+ people feel they have to hide their emotions because we think no one would understand. So, how did you go about discovering who you are? When I moved to the UK, during the first lockdown, I found LGBTQ+ communities and quizzes online. I spoke to my LGBTQ+ friends and even had conversations with myself. It may sound weird, but I’d sit in front of my mirror looking at myself and asking, where I was on the spectrum?. Where do I belong? Do I have to put myself in a category? What are the steps for coming out? Is there a guidebook on this? There’s no book that tells you the step-by-step procedure of coming out. Maybe someday I will write it!

How did you come out and how were you received? I remember I was on call with one of my best friends and saying, “I have something to tell you. I am bisexual.” I was expecting a long pause but in less than a few seconds I heard words I didn’t expect. “Congratulations. I am happy for you.” I was so scared, but his response made me so happy. I had finally accepted me, and my friend did too. I felt so relieved that this weight I had been lifted. My family has for the most part been accepting but my friends have been a great support. My friends have not once made me feel like they are uncomfortable with me. I have received nothing but kind words and support. Although I told my best friend first, the first person 21

I told face to face was my store manager, David. He has always been kind and supportive to me and that day when I walked in the store and saw him, I knew he should be the first person to tell. He gave me the brightest and warmest smile and told me how proud he was of me; my colleague Kim did the same. To come out takes a lot of courage and I’m so lucky to be in such a supportive environment. The support of all my colleagues has been great and I wish everyone had people like them around them.

June is of course Pride month, what does Pride mean to you? While researching about myself, I learnt a lot about the Pride movement, and I can’t wait to join the parade this year. I watched the 2019 Pride parades on YouTube, and it brought me such joy to see so many people from all aspects of life come together to celebrate. It was beautiful and empowering. What things do you think the LGBTQ+ community is still fighting for? I am lucky because I have not experienced inequality because of my sexuality. I am nervous because I know I will encounter people who will not treat me fairly. I am not sure how I will feel in those situations and how I will react. Equality is very important to me. I grew up in a hetero-patriarchal society where I saw my mother work the hardest, quit her career, take care of us, and not get recognised. However, my dad did what every dad should do and got so much credit. Why should my gender and sexuality influence how I get treated in life? What advice would you give to other people like you? It is not easy to be honest but the only person you need to be honest with is yourself. Take your time and figure out who you are. You don’t have to tell anyone until you are ready. If someone doesn’t accept you because of your sexuality, then they don’t deserve to be in your life. You deserve to be surrounded by people who make you happy, appreciate and truly love you. As Captain Ray Holt says, from my favourite show Brooklyn Nine-Nine; “Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better and more interesting place.”

From Spilling Tea to an MBE with Daryn Carter By Dan Sayers-Yates & Lindsay Robinson

Daryn Carter MBE is the Programming and Partnerships Director for Bristol Pride. Over the years he’s helped bring the festival to life, growing the number of attendees from 7,000 people in 2010, to over 40,000 by 2019! In 2020 Daryn was awarded an MBE in the Queen’s birthday honours, for his services to the LGBTQ+ community. Here Daryn talks more about the work he’s done and why it’s so important.

What’s been your biggest. achievement to date? Gosh that’s a question. Every year its hard work to make Pride happen that just to make it through another year feels like an achievement. If I have to say though, it’d be in 2019 when we moved the festival to Durham Downs. This had been a goal for a few years, as it meant we could double the capacity, introduce new stages and bring a real festival vibe to the event. It was a lot of work and it took a while to agree the logistics and being able to afford the move, but 40,000 people attended Pride that year and the atmosphere was electric. What is your ultimate goal for Bristol pride? I used that say that it was for Pride to no longer be needed but I was wrong. I now believe that we need Pride events, to help tackle prejudice and hatred we face. Pride is also about celebration and community and that will always be so important and needed. I guess my goal now is for Pride to become more of an event that celebrates LGBTQ+ people and brings us together, rather than it being a necessary vehicle to champion equal rights. Hopefully one day soon that will be a thing of the past and we are just treated equally both in society and the law. How did it feel to be awarded an MBE by the. Queen for your contribution to the community?.

It was incredible and a big shock, it still feels very surreal! As well as my work with Pride I was recognised for my contribution to equality and diversity, like sitting on diversity panels and lobbying for change. It felt strange to read all these things on paper because it’s just what I get on with. It felt important to accept it though, knowing that my work for the LGBTQ+ community was being highlight, especially those who might be less accepting. Why do you think Pride is important? To this day we’re still fighting for equal rights, so Pride is an opportunity for the LGBTQ+ community to come together, be visible and make a really powerful statement. We’ve made great progress from the first Prides 50 years ago, but 23

sadly we’ve seen only too recently how these can be taken away. Politically it’s still a very hostile environment for the LGBTQ+ community and Pride is a movement that can help drive forward calls for change and amplify our collective voices. I remember being a young boy struggling with my identity and being in a very dark place, I felt so alone. Brighton Pride changed my life, maybe even saved it, because going there I was able to see that I wasn’t a freak or alone, there was a whole huge community out there. Pride for some can be that day in the year where they can be their true authentic selves. It’s a chance for people to see themselves reflected in others for the first time and that’s still so important and always will be. Why is it important for people within the LGBTQ+ community to show allyship to each other? It’s so important. We are on this journey together as a community, for some of us things have improved, I’d say particularly for the Lesbian/ Gay community as they were key in the movements in the 70s and 80s. In some ways perhaps other parts of our community got left behind then, or we didn’t have the language to describe identities as we do now. We need to remember that we stood together then to fight and we still need to stand together now even if things are better for you now. You don’t need to have pride to go to Pride, but you can show your support to others who still need it.

In your opinion, what do the LGBTQ+ community still need to fight for? I think there are some immediate things, such as a full ban on conversation therapy and I’m also very concerned about the government’s plans to review the 2010 Humans Rights Act. More broadly we still need to fight for a society where people can be themselves, love who they want and for that to be ok. I’m pretty openly gay but even I’m mindful when holding my partners hand, for fear of being beaten up. Nobody should live in fear for simply being themselves, which is the biggest fight - to create change and live in a society of inclusion, acceptance and kindness where people can be who they want to be.

Co-op at Pride 2022

8 4

11 3

15 This year we are attending 23 Pride parades throughout the UK. There are a total of 145 Food stores and 54 Funeralcare homes along the parade routes. 1) Worcester 2) Salford 3) Blackpool 4) Arran 5) London 6) Bristol 7) Llanelli 8) Glasgow 9) Newcastle 10) Nottingham 11) Belfast 12) Brighton 24

13) Leeds 14) Cheshire 15) Isle of Man 16) Medway 17) Southampton 18) Manchester 19) Surrey 20) Reading 21) Birmingham 22) Pride Cymru 23) Plymouth

18 14

1 21 7

22 20 23

5 19

16 17