MASTERPLAN

Groshek cousins celebrate

With great joy and in the spirit of the holiday season, a handful of the Groshek cousins decided to meet to celebrate their Polish ancestry at the Polonez restaurant on Milwaukee, Wisconsin’s south side.

Due to Covid protocols, the group kept their size limited, but their enthusiasm was boundless as they celebrated two birthdays: Julie turned 59 on the 17th of December and Karen turned 60 on the 21st.

The staff at the restaurant sang the traditional Polish birthday song, Sto lat to the bewildered gals. Sto lat wishes that the recipients live to be 100!

With food such as pierogi, dill soup, cabbage rolls, smoked salmon and Polish sausage, everyone was well satiated. Aunt Betty, who could not make the event, baked German chocolate cupcakes for the occasion.

It was also noted that four of the cousins were 59 years old at the event. This rare event had only a short four-day window and one of those days just happened to be that particular Sunday! Shared by June Groshek Czarnezki, South Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Birthday girls, Karen Groshek Eben and Julie Groshek Baker.

Birthday girls, Karen Groshek Eben and Julie Groshek Baker being serenaded by accordion player Ron Rutkowski. Interior of Polonez Restaurant in St. Francis, Wisconsin.

Miller Family Reunion

The Miller Family of East Guilford, New York, began gathering on the family farm perhaps in the 1940s, if not before. The roots of this event are a little murky. Generations of Millers lived on those acres. Eighty years later, their descendants have upheld the tradition. The farm has long since passed out of the family, so the kin have been meeting on the shores of Lake Champlain, Vermont, since the 1960s.

Frederick Samuel Miller and May Huddleston had seven children, all but two lived past their 20s. What began as a simple family get-together of children and grandchildren now extends to their fifth-generation descendants. And now instead of annual reunions, the group comes together every other year. The timing makes more sense as members fly in from all corners of the globe. The pandemic caused a skip in that rhythm.

As an in-law, it amazes me that these far-flung cousins can maintain their connection. The secret is in the planning. One person and the resort coordinator do the heavy lifting. It’s a week-long series of activities that keeps these busy folks linked. There is family history too.

In 2021, lunch featured a family tree for the generations to fill out. From the original six children, descendants now number over a hundred which doesn’t include the branches that have lost touch. It can be difficult to keep track of all those names and connections. A tree is one way to follow the history and gives the youngsters a sense of their connection. A draft version of the tree for this event was printed at www.Family Chartmasters.com.

Photographs tell stories and can inspire them too. The clues in pictures—people, places, and events rely on the details in clothing, photographer’s work dates and, of course, genealogy. As The Photo Detective, I help individuals and families fill in the missing story behind their images through classes and consultations on my website.

Frederick Miller might be surprised to realize his family summer retreats are ongoing. In this 1920s image, he’s a businessman. The facts of his life are simple. Raised on a farm, he went to school for business training, and married a wealthy young woman from Rochester, New York. Her family added him to the company masthead, and he remained with the firm until 1930 when it was sold.

Those facts are not told at reunions. Instead, it’s a story about how the son of a farmer captured the heart of a daughter of one of Rochester’s leading families. It’s the classic American story of the self-made man, but is it true? It appears to be, but most legends often don’t hold up to scrutiny. Finding the story requires collecting tales from descendants and combining them with historical facts and family history. A reunion is a perfect opportunity to begin the process. All it takes is a smart phone or a recorder, some questions, and a willing participant. Communication with distant cousins through family tree sites, email and social media helps too. Add those stories to the images in your collection and stir. You never know what might pop up. My three lesson on-demand course with Nancy Desmond of MemoryWeb, Cousin Connections: Planning a Family Reunion, covers reunion planning from pre-planning to after reunion activities. There are tips for how to use virtual connections before the event to get things

done too.

Our family maintains sporadic contact between reunions. Facebook helps us keep track of family milestones. But one thing is certain. Everyone knows when the next gathering will happen and it’s in our calendars.

Frederick Miller 1869-1951 In the collection of the author

About the author

Maureen Taylor, The Photo Detective, is a family historian who focuses on photographs. She is dedicated to digital preservation, and currently works with metadata and how-to for archiving family heirlooms. Her passion is working with clients and helping them tell their family story and personal history through images. She works one-on-one with clients through photo consultations, as well as hosting various photo workshops. She is also the host of The Photo Detective podcast, with weekly episodes that pertain to photos, genealogy, and fashion history. Email her at photodetective@maureentaylor.com. Follow her @ photodetective on social media.

ALAFFFA-Minute: My family’s top 10 reunion activities

by Lisa A. Alzo, MFA

Activities are the lifeblood of any reunion. For my family, games and participation activities involving singing, dancing, and sports have entertained attendees of the ALAFFFA (an acronym for Abbott, Lizanov, Alzo, Figlar, Figlar, Figlar, Augenstein) Reunion for 54 years. Below is a countdown of our favorite family fun times. 10. Softball Game. The first ALAFFFA reunion, held in 1967, was a small gathering of less than 12 family members at a picnic grove in South Park, Pennsylvania. As the reunion expanded, activities were planned to keep the kids entertained and softball was the game of choice where everyone could participate. The annual game between the “Figlar Fudpucker’s (Joe Figlar’s team) and the Figlar Fonk Fighters (Mike Figlar’s team) became one of the longest- running ALAFFFA traditions! Three generations of ALAFFFA members participated in this friendly contest. Who won these games? Most years, it depended on the “Ump” (Uncle John Figlar). But the real answer is everyone!

9.

Gong Show. Modeled after the popular television show from the 1970s, this activity had ALAFFFA-ites (at that time we were just “LAFFFA”) of all ages singing and laughing at our 1977 gathering at the Ethelbert Grove in South Park, with performances from Big Fig and the Newtons and the Lido Shuffle Crew, and again in 1989 during the Hee Haw-themed reunion at the 100 Acre House. The earlier version was quite low-tech with a sheet for the stage curtain, and music played on cassette tape. In 1989, we had stereo equipment to play the music, a real guitar, and other props. A few of the “child” acts from the earlier gong show reprised their performances.

ALAFFFA-LYMPICS competitions.

5. ALAFFFALYMPICS. Thanks to ALAFFFA’S favorite second grade

8.

Mud Volleyball. The theme for the reunion at the Community House in South Park one year was Woodstock. A rainstorm the previous night turned the ground in front of the house into a muddy mess, but that did not deter the volleyball tournament planned for the day. Players soon found their faces, arms, legs, and tie-dyed shirts covered in mud and made for quite the spectacle for motorists who drove past the house that day.

7.

Family Update. Based on the Saturday Night Live staple, Weekend Update, we performed the ALAFFFA Update in 1986 at our Luau reunion with Gerry and Mickey Abbott at the anchor desk, and with guest commentators who offered comedic updates about various family happenings during the year.

6.

The ALAFFFA Amazing Race. In 2004, the reunion theme was “Vacations” and ALAFFFA hosted its own version of the CBS show, “The Amazing Race,” where two teams faced off to complete tasks centered on 6 continents. Activities included The South American Rainforest Trail Mix Challenge, The Backpack Scavenger Hunt, and more! Instead of a $1 million prize, members of the winning team would each receive “100 Grand” (not real money, but rather the candy bar!) and other toy prizes. Visit www.reunionsmag.com/ tv-reality-games/. For details of the ALAFFFA Amazing Race.

teacher, Luanne F., competition-style games became a favorite activity where members of every age could participate in contests or relays such as a balloon toss, egg on a spoon, sack race, etc. The games often changed to match the reunion theme, but there always seemed to be some challenge that involved whipped cream pies in participants’ faces! Homemade replicas of gold, silver and bronze medals were handed out to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners.

4.

Cornhole Tournament. Cornhole has become an annual competition at our family reunions. If you are not familiar with it, Cornhole is a bean bag toss game that has two opposing teams pitching bean bags in innings into a box with a hole at the top—the first team to score 21 points at the completion of an inning wins). See www.sccornhole.com/Cornhole-GameRules.html. We have our own personalized Cornhole box built by my father, John Alzo, painted with our ALAFFFA logo (created by John ”Pee Wee” Figlar).

The South American Rainforest Trail Mix Challenge for ALAFFFA’S Amazing Race style scavenger hunt. ALAFFFA’S personalized cornhole box is used each year for a favorite activity.

3.

Trivia/Jeopardy. There were numerous versions of ALAFFFA trivia played over the years. With a big family and so many reunions, there has never been a shortage of material to include for the questions. In 2021 we took trivia to the next level with ALAFFFA Jeopardy (J-ALAFFFA-DY) created from a PowerPoint Template (for more information, see pages 32-33 in the September 2021 issue of Reunions magazine; www.issuu.com/reunionsmag/docs/ reunions_mag_sept21_final_ct).

2.

Surf’s Up! No ALAFFFA reunion is complete without “Surf’s Up!” where everyone gathers in a circle with a small glass of their beverage of choice to do the wave and toast ALAFFFA as “Wipeout” or some other appropriate surfer music plays in the background.

1.

Karaoke. A karaoke machine and makeshift stage with a hand painted backdrop of a peace symbol served as the main entertainment for the 1990 Woodstock-themed reunion. Attendees did their best impersonations of the Woodstock festival performers like Joe Cocker and Janis Joplin, as well as performing songs by Rod Stewart, Julio Iglesias, and many others. All the performances were videotaped and now live on in digital format to provide

enjoyment for all who wish to reminisce about those earlier reunions. Every family is different, so it’s important to “know your audience” when planning activities for your special day. A good idea is to have a combination of physical competitions and games that can be played indoors or sitting down. For ALAFFFA, having a theme each year opens up many possibilities. Members participate by making their own costumes, or for milestone reunions, we design special T-shirts available for attendees to purchase, if they so desire. Whatever you Lisa Alzo with her mother, Anna Alzo plan, just make sure the activities will engage wearing matching T-shirts at the all ages and ideally are easy to implement 1999 “Best of ALAFFFA.” with minimal cost and effort.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lisa Alzo has been surrounded by family at their 50+ year running reunion and walks in her ancestor’s footsteps, literally and figuratively, as a genealogist, lecturer and writer. Author of 11 books and endless articles for newspapers and magazines, Lisa earned a Master of Fine Arts degree from the highly acclaimed Creative Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Pittsburgh. She works as a writing coach and online educator through her website Research Write Connect www.researchwriteconnect.com.

From one humble tree, a forest grew

Before reunions, we were so spread out across the country that we had not made time for reunions. We all relied on our mother to keep everyone informed about what the rest of the family was doing.

Only the death of our mother the year before (and our father many years before that) made us realize that if we did not have reunions, we would lose touch with each other over time. And that would be a great tragedy.

Our Gardiner family tree has grown considerably since our first reunion at Camp Carlson, Kentucky, in 2009. The official reunion photo showed only 21 of the 25 people who attended; the two youngest were in diapers, and one is now learning to drive!

With each passing year, our tree quickly grew into a family forest. Besides the joyous births within our group, we have added distant relatives — aunts, uncles and cousins — to our list of attendees.

Even a distant cousin, whose family connection was previously unknown to us, began bringing his family to our reunions after his own genealogical research led him to Uncle John, our unofficial genealogist.

We’ve all grown closer and look forward to seeing each other every year. Many of our family’s treasured traditions started at those Camp Carlson cabins.

Our first family tree, for instance, was a sickly looking leafless fabrication that stood only five feet tall, but when we were finished with it, it became a magnificent symbol of our love for family and the secrets revealed that day.

On that first day, each person was given a paper leaf with his or her name on it and was asked to finish the sentence on the reverse that began with: “Something you may not know about me is . . . “

That next afternoon, we all sat in a circle around the tree and read aloud the answers we had written. After each one was read, it was clipped to the bare tree branches.

One young man shared that he would soon enlist in the Navy. One of our Marines said he was “going to Afghanistan this summer.” His brother, also a Marine, told us that he was “going to Iraq.” A Navy veteran, who had served as a Navy WAVE, shared that she “piloted a C130 Hercules” during her enlistment. And her sister, also a WAVE, said she had “served five years at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.”

We had a Shriner Clown in our midst, and his wife was a licensed private investigator. Some shared their greatest fears, one mentioned that she was training to run a 5K marathon, and another declared that he appreciated his family. And many eyebrows were lifted when one revealed he lived in a haunted house!

We learned so much about each other — of tattoos, engagements, and even a soon-to-be-grandmother. But our biggest lesson was that those heartfelt revelations drew us all closer to each other in a way we had not anticipated.

Patricia Suyak putting leaves on the first Gardiner Family Tree! Each leaf has a name written on the front, and on the back, a small clothespin and a story written on it that begins with "Something you may not know about me is . . .". Gardiner Family Forest

Gardiner Family Forest Kit

• Each tree represents a family within our group and the surnames are placed below each tree. • Patricia Suyak used her Cricut machine to cut leaf shapes approximately 2 1/2" x 2 1/2". Some leaves were blank but others included the names of parents, their children and grandchildren, wedding dates and information printed on the card stock before cutting the leaves. For our few single males, leaves showed where they were currently living and/or working. • She took a 4" x 4" sticker of the tree to Office Depot where it was enlarged and printed on ledger size card stock. • The parent's leaf was placed in the center of the tree, listing their names and wedding date. The name of each child, their spouse, and any children were listed on a separate leaf surrounding it. • She didn’t know enough about newcomers' families to put together trees for them, so she devised kits and asked them to assemble their own tree and stick it on the wall next to others. And each family took their tree and supplies with them when they left. Each kit includes a tree poster, 3 dozen blank leaves, adhesive, and thin-tip Sharpie pens.

The tree (used only once) is long gone but I still have those leaves. There were no other trees until those tree posters in 2021 when we realized that many of our newcomers did not know us and we knew very little about them.

Will there be more trees in the future? I am not sure. Each hosting group organizes the reunions their own way. But these are the only reunion requirements: comfortable accommodations for everyone, a Christmas party with a Christmas tree and a gift for each child, mandatory presence at our main event (a group meal and viewing of a video compiled by my niece from photos of previous reunions) and mandatory presence for a group photograph.

Another way in which we help everyone become better acquainted is through our reunion books. On the last afternoon of the reunion, we ask everyone to surrender their media so we can copy the photos they have taken. My niece compiles them into a video for viewing at a future reunion, and my sister and I make a coffee-table-type book for each family.

We dedicate one page for each family group and, in addition to a group photo of the family taken when they arrived, each member is identified by name under their own photo.

Thirteen years later, with the addition of so many more relatives, we needed a different ice breaker! One family tree method was now inadequate, and 70 people standing up to complete the sentence would have taken quite a while.

The answer? A forest of family trees! And perhaps a new annual tradition!

Maybe one day we will bring out all those leaves, read them once more, and reminisce about that very first reunion that started it all so many years ago. Shared by Patricia Suyak, Owensboro, Kentucky.