CHANGING THE NARRATIVE: ONE WOMAN’S JOURNEY OF SELF LOVE

JESSE ZAHACY’S INSTAGRAM IS ABOUT INSPIRING PEOPLE TO LOVE THEMSELVES AT EVERY SHAPE AND SIZE

By Melissa Jameson

Scroll through Jesse Zahacy’s Instagram page and you’ll come across a post with two photos. In the first, she’s posed on her side – model thing with bleached blonde hair – her body carefully positioned so there is no possibility of even a naturally occurring roll or wrinkling of her skin. In the second, Jesse is seated with her knees to one side, wearing a black two-piece. Her hair is no longer bleached, her body no longer thin, it’s natural folds and rolls proudly on display. Below the images, the caption reads:

Bleach blonde hair, the tiniest body I could manage, and it all still wasn’t good enough. I compare these photos and realize they are the same person, same heart, same soul. But one is so deeply broken. The first was the most unhealthy I’ve ever been in my life. The second I’m finally living my life to its fullest. At the end of the day, it’s your choice to choose. And I choose me.

When I meet with Zahacy for this story, she’s open about her life-long struggle with her body image.

“I always knew I needed to make a change in loving myself essentially for who I am today and step into a positive outlook,” she said. “I’ve always been very negative on myself.I’ve always struggled with crash dieting and overworking out and – just to really simplify it – restricting myself. It was just becoming a roller coaster of bad self habits and a never-ending circle. I just thought, ‘I need to break out of this or I’m going to be stuck in this forever’.”

Knowing there must be others who felt the same way, in 2018 Zahacy created her Instagram page, @YourDailyDoseofSelfLove, intent on changing the narrative, learning to enjoy herself, and what she looked like.

“I’ve learned I like myself a lot more in being happy in who I am.”

While research has shown the body positivity movement can lead to improved self-care, reduce unhealthy diet behaviours, lower the risk of depression and boost self-esteem, it isn’t absent of criticism. The most common critiques of the body positivity movement are around it’s lack of inclusivity, with critics often pointing out that most body positive social media accounts are created by cis-gendered, non-disabled white women, and others raise concerns it promotes obesity.

In the beginning, those critiques and comments had Zahacy second guessing her decision to create the account.

“I was still a kid then,” she said. “I was in my early 20s. The project scared me. It was too much too soon, and I didn’t know how to react to the negative comments and people commenting on my body.”

So, she stopped posting.

“At the end of the day everybody is going to struggle at some point in their life with body positivity”

A fourth-generation local, Zahacy has lived in Revelstoke her entire life. She lives with her husband and their two dogs. She has worked at Grizzly Automotive for the last seven years, a job she loves. She has a love of murder mysteries and a penchant for anything true crime. She’s also passionate about speaking out about the dangers found in the toxic diet culture.

Five months ago, older and more confident, Zahacy started posting again. The comments and critiques still happen, but her outlook is that criticism is going to come regardless of how her body looks.

“I think at the end of the day everybody is going to struggle at some point in their life with body positivity and wanting to change in some way to feel better about themselves. It’s been a major struggle for me. Criticism is going to come in your life whether you’re at your smallest or at your biggest…. People are going to judge you no matter what and you have to be OK with just loving yourself.”

Her Instagram page has also helped her with accountability. For many people who struggle with their body image, it’s easy to slip back into restrictive eating and other toxic dieting behaviours due to societal pressures to be thin. It isn’t the pictures of herself now that Zahacy struggles to post, but the ones from before – the images of her as a bleached blonde, skinny enough to be a Victoria’s Secret model, but at the detriment of her own health.

“I was at my most vulnerable and scared to post my skinnier photos, rather than the ones of me now, because I feel like I’ve grown into the person I’m wanting to become. I’m confident in myself. When I was at my skinniest I was depriving myself and I was really hard on myself. I feel like I was a lot harder on myself, so those were the hardest pictures to post,” she said.

“I’m 28, almost 29. I’ve been on this journey for 28 years. I’ve done every crash diet. Every work out. I’ve lost 70 pounds. I’ve gained it all back. I did it all over again like a yo-yo. At the end of the day, I just have to remind myself what the end goal is. It’s about inspiring myself and other people to love themselves at every shape and size.”

Three ways to learn to love yourself

As our time comes to an end, I ask Zahacy to share three pieces of advice for people who want to learn to love themselves. Here is what she said:

“Look at yourself naked in the mirror daily and give yourself three compliments. It could be something as simple as your dimples when you smile, or your hips in your favourite dress.”

“Delete everything diet culture, every toxic account that makes you feel less of who you want to be and deprives you from your happiness. [Get rid of] anything that doesn’t bring you happiness in who you are.”

“It kind of goes off the second – surround yourself with people who are people. People who love and cherish you and accept you for exactly who you are.”

You can follow Jesse on Instagram @YourDailyDoseOfSelfLove