Dr Kerry Howells on why we must master the art of gratitude

Cycle of recognition

Mastering the art of gratitude paves the way for a more engaged workforce and a more authentic brand of leadership, according to Dr Kerry Howells

Gone are the days where we gave priority to performance and tasks over and above the cultivation of relationships in our organi– by affirming how worthwhile they are – we are enacting reconnaissance. Across all cultures, she observes: “There is in human sations. When leaders create a workplace beings a powerful longing culture where people feel valued and ap- to be recognised.” preciated for who they are – not just what Visser sees this need they do – there is greater engagement, for recognition as a “funmotivation and retention. damental struggle for

Yet the ability to do this well can elude identity, relationship and us when we are stressed or time-poor – or belonging”. If this need is when we are operating in a negative envi- not met, she points out, ronment where relationships are difficult we don’t flourish as human or strained. beings – and there is a very

To suggest that gratitude has a role to real threat to our sense of worthiness. No play here may seem counterintuitive – the wonder we are so shocked and disoriented, least-likely response to such complexities. then, when we don’t receive it. Despite the many academic studies that We can learn most about how to express show gratitude is crucial to building and gratitude in this way from the real captains maintaining relationships, it can seem of Relation Ship: those who can forge an out of reach when we feel that there are understanding with another person enough so many other things to to know how to express attend to. However, if we approach gratitude as an Gratitude their gratitude in a way that’s meaningful to that art form – or a craft that is not just specific individual. Often, all good leaders can master – we can appreciate a feeling. that is different from the way in which we would like that developing it takes It’s an action gratitude to be expressed to time and skill. Gratitude is us. For some, recognition not just a feeling. It’s an action: a cycle of takes the form of attentive listening. For giving and receiving, distinct from giving others it may be a warm greeting, or a smile, praise or positive feedback – each of which coming from a place of gratitude. amounts to a one-way process. However, expressing gratitude is only

To lead with gratitude is to be a strong one part of the forging process. The other is exemplar of both giving and receiving it. to learn how to receive gratitude when it is That’s where the art comes in. As social expressed to us by another. As Peter Druckanthropologist Margaret Visser shows er famously said, “our job in life is to make us, there is much we can learn from the a positive difference, not prove that we are French word for gratitude: reconnaissance. right”. Leaders who have been entrenched When we express our gratitude by recog- in paradigms that revolve only around getnising the value or goodness in a person ting things right, or how they steer the ship,

can miss this crucial aspect of gratitude – unless they also acknowledge what they’ve learned (received) from their staff.

Importantly, there is also a nonreciprocal, or altruistic, element of gratitude. It’s not merely something to be expressed in order to be thanked in return, or in the hope that it might lead to a change in another’s behaviour. We can celebrate the changes we notice when we express gratitude in a more conscious way – but that is not the primary motivation.

The aim of the leader is to change themselves. To grow their integrity. To be more open to – and educated by – the wonderful gifts they receive from those in their employ. And that means embracing leadership that is distributive, rather than directive.

Dr Kerry Howells is a thought leader, author, award-winning educator and researcher who has spent more than 25 years studying, teaching and practising the art of gratitude