Winter 2018 Newsletter
Dear friend, Have you ever found yourself believing any of the following statements (or living as if you do)? •
I can’t control my emotions.
•
God can’t forgive what I’ve done.
•
If my circumstances were different, I would be different.
•
I can thrive without consistent time in the Word and prayer.
We have an enemy who lies to us perpetually. Those lies put us in bondage and keep us from living out God’s great design for our lives. But God wants us to experience the freedom of walking in the Truth! Back in 2001, I wrote Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free. My prayer has always been that it would help women recognize the enemy’s lies and learn to counsel their heart with the Truth, regardless of what human reason or feelings might dictate. I could never have imagined how the Lord would use this book! Seventeen years later, with over one million copies in print, in twenty-six languages, I continue to hear from women who have experienced freedom through rejecting the lies they’ve believed and replacing those lies with the Truth. That’s why I spent much of 2017 updating and expanding this book—to expose the enemy’s lies to a new generation of women and to give them the tools to walk confidently on the pathway of Truth. Through the release of the updated and expanded Lies Women Believe in February, our 2018 ministry calendar, True Woman ’18, and more, we’re praying you’ll learn to embrace God’s Truth and experience the grace, forgiveness, and abundant life He wants for all of us. May God unleash the power of His Truth in your life and in our generation!
Lie:
“I HAVE TO HAVE AN OUTLET FOR MY SEXUAL DESIRE”
T this
he new edition of
Lies Women BeLieve includes an all-
new chapter on lies women believe about sexuality .
article is a condensed version of one of the five lies
discussed in the chapter . voice, as she helped
it’s
written in
d annah G resh ’ s
nancy write the chapter. enjoy!
After dinner, we arranged our chairs into a circle on the deck, and I asked each of the girls to share a short synopsis of her spiritual journey. A wide variety of life experiences and issues was represented in that circle. At points I interjected words of encouragement or insight, sometimes sharing out of my own journey. But mostly I listened, my heart warmed by their openness to share and their eagerness to receive the seasoned perspective of the oldest woman in the circle. I get a lot of letters from single women who want to know, “How can I satisfy my sexual desires?” Married women whose husbands are physically disabled or disinterested or whose bedrooms have become boring also write, seeking ways to be sexually alive. First, let me say that your longing, in and of itself, is not sinful. In fact, our sexual longings point to a legitimate need. Whether you are married or single, you are looking for more than sex. Your body, mind, and spirit were created to desire true intimacy with another. That’s part of how you reflect the image of God. Be careful not to confuse a legitimate longing for intimacy with a physical desire for sex. The first time the act of sex is referenced in Scripture is in Genesis 4:1, “Now Adam knew Eve his wife.” Transcending the physical act, it
by Dannah Gresh
speaks of a deep emotional, intimate knowing. The physical act of sex was never intended to be separated from its relational and divine meaning—a man and woman, united in the covenant of marriage, knowing each other deeply. But our culture tends to hyperfocus on the physical aspect while largely overlooking the importance and beauty of emotional and spiritual intimacy. And sex without intimacy is a cheap counterfeit. It leads to the craving for more, which can result in addictions and strongholds that are difficult to break.
B R E A K I N G F R E E , F I N D I N G S A T I S FA C T I O N “Charla” was a middle-aged Christian homeschooling mom. She had left a promising career in banking to focus on her family. After a few years, Charla started to feel ignored romantically and sexually. Her sex life, which was infrequent, had begun to bore her, and her husband didn’t understand. She believed she needed some sort of outlet for her sexual desires, and a friend gave her some erotica. Soon erotica had become a time-consuming addiction. She no longer wanted to have sex 2 ReviveOurHearts.com
with her husband, and she started having sexual conversations on
your longings for intimacy and love or pretending they don’t exist
the Internet—first with men, then with other women—to “meet her
doesn’t make them go away, but attempting to feed them with sex
needs.”
won’t work either.
Within two years of reading her first erotic novel, Charla found
If need be, you can live without an outlet for your sexual
herself packing her bags to meet a woman she’d found online. Just
desires. And physical sexual activity in and of itself cannot fulfill
as she was about to walk out the door, she realized none of this
your longings for intimacy. Jesus desires to fulfill that need first and
had actually satisfied her. Her unfulfilled sexual longings had only
foremost with Himself, and through the gift of appropriate, pure
escalated, leading her to justify more and more sinful behavior.
human friendships.
Scripture warns us against becoming enslaved to things that can
My dear sister, saturate yourself in the extraordinary living
never satisfy: “Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has
water that Jesus gives. His is the only love that will ever truly fulfill
made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage”
the deepest longings of your heart.
(Gal. 5:1 NKJV). Sin doesn’t just happen. We empower it with our own actions. And often those actions are fueled by a belief that’s simply not true. Charla had incorrectly assumed that what she needed was sex, when in fact she’d reached a place where she was relationally and spiritually isolated and lonely. Little by little, she had been caught in the snare.
To read other lies that women believe—and the Truth that sets them free—get your copy at LiesBooks.com. (Be sure to check out the accompanying study guide too!)
When Charla came to her senses, she reached out to mature women in her church and asked for help repairing her broken marriage. And the first thing her older, wiser friends helped her understand was that her longing was not for sex, but for intimacy. Her greatest need wasn’t to work on techniques in the bedroom, but to tend to her friendship with her husband (who gladly agreed to attend to her heart). Together, they pressed into their friendship and intimacy not only with each other, but with Jesus. Yes, that’s right. Fixing Charla’s sex life had a lot to do with fixing her relationship with Jesus.
C R E AT E D F O R I N T I M AC Y When Jesus met the woman at the well, she’d had five husbands, and the man she was living with currently wasn’t even her husband. Jesus didn’t focus on her unfulfilled sexual longings or give her a three-step process to stop those cravings. He pointed her to the only thing that would satisfy her thirst: Himself. He called her into a deep, intimate relationship with Himself. If marriage is a picture of our relationship with Christ, we must know the love of Christ in order to paint it. You can’t paint a picture of something you’ve never seen, right? We often make the mistake of focusing on finding emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage, but intimacy with Christ must come first. His love is faithful and unfailing in a way that love from a man never can be. That’s why marriage is a picture of Christ’s love and not a replacement for it. God created us with a capacity and need for relational intimacy (a reflection of the relational oneness within the Trinity). Stuffing Winter 2018 3
I put the book back on the shelf without finishing it. It was something for some fanatics in a cult, but certainly not something for a strong-willed Southern woman such as myself.
Maybe It’s for Cult Fanatics, But It’s Not for Me!
Through what I believe to be none other than the work of the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t stop thinking about this book I had shelved. So I finally picked up the book and read it. It changed my life! I realized I had been falling—hook, line, and sinker—for Satan’s lies. In the back of the book, I saw an advertisement for Revive Our Hearts, so I started listening to the program and devouring Nancy’s teaching. Fast forward to 2016. I’m a homeschooling mom and pastor’s
by Amanda Ridenour
wife who teaches Sunday school and Bible studies for women. I want women to fall in love with Jesus and to love God’s Word and prayer. My husband has a running joke: “Amanda takes women to
I
Jesus first, then she gets them to Nancy.” It’s a combination that has never let me down, because she always gets women into the Grew up in a pastor’s home, but readinG myself was never somethinG
christ
as a teenaGer , but
i
i
did .
i
God’s word for
prayed to receive
Grew up with a very weak faith
at best.
In 2005, God blessed my husband and me with our son. I was overjoyed to be a mom! However, I developed several complications that eventually led to not being able to have more children. Between feeling terrible physically while caring for a small baby, as well as my husband working full-time, taking seminary courses, and pastoring a small church, I was a mess emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I grew more and more depressed, all the while never turning to prayer and the Word. I was hateful and grouchy and was making everyone around me miserable. One night my husband asked me, “What is your prayer and Bible study life like?” His question sent me over the edge. “Just when exactly am I supposed to study my Bible and pray? I’m practically a single mother!” I responded before storming off in tears. After I got over being angry that he would dare ask me such a question, I acknowledged my sin before God and repented. I decided to find a book written specifically for women, and I came across Lies Women Believe. After a few chapters, I was disgusted. “You would not believe the things this woman is saying!” I told my husband. I had never heard these truths before, and I was not receptive whatsoever. 4 ReviveOurHearts.com
Word and prayer for themselves. At the top of my list is getting women into Lies Women Believe. I’m convinced that second only to God’s Word, Lies Women Believe is the best book in the world for women. It changed my life, and I have a passion for other women to experience the freedom I’ve experienced.
Winter 2018 5
6 ReviveOurHearts.com
Adapted from the new edition of Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free
OF COURSE I’M A CHRISTIAN, I . . . by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh
“O
f course I’m a Christian; I go to church all the time.”
•
2:9)
“Of course I’m a Christian; my parents are.”
“Of course I’m a Christian; I grew up in the church.” “Of course I’m a Christian; I went forward at church camp!” “Of course I’m a Christian; my mom told me I prayed to receive Christ when I was three.”
They don’t hold grudges (a.k.a. No mean girls!). (1 John
•
They don’t have to see every movie and TV show and have every new song the world offers. (1 John 2:15)
•
They don’t wander away from their faith. (1 John 2:19)
Only a true encounter with Jesus Christ—in which the Holy Spirit convicts you of your sin and draws you to Christ, and you
But the essence of true salvation is not a matter of profession
respond in repentance and faith—establishes you as a member of
or performance; rather, it is a transformation. Only God can truly
God’s family. Nothing apart from this act of free grace on the part
tell if someone is a believer, but He’s given us some standards
of God can make you a Christian. There is nothing you can do on
by which we can judge ourselves. For starters, 2 Corinthians 5:17
your own to become a Christian (Ephesians 2:8–9).
says: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” The person who has been “born again” has a new life, a new heart, a new nature, a new allegiance, a new Master. Have you experienced that kind of radical change in your life? The first epistle of John was written to provide assurance of salvation to those who had been genuinely converted—and to warn those who had no real basis for their profession of salvation. John identifies specific characteristics that distinguish between
As soon as you respond to God’s love and give your life to Him, the Holy Spirit comes to live within you. He makes you a new person and gives you a new heart to want to obey and serve Him. He also gives you the desire and the power to resist sin and to do good works that glorify God. That transformation was beautifully illustrated in a girl named Tish that I first talked with at an old ’50s diner located near her college campus. . .
those who have been truly saved and those who profess to be saved but are merely religious hypocrites. Here are some of the characteristics he pinpoints: •
They obey God’s commands. (1 John 2:3–4)
•
They act like Jesus. (1 John 2:5–6)
Read the rest of Tish’s story in the brand-new edition of Lies Young Women Believe. Get your copy—as well as the accompanying study guide—at LiesBooks.com.
Winter 2018 7
Looking for bite-sized, daily encouragement right where you are? Follow us on:
Revive Our Hearts is an outreach of Life Action Ministries
facebook.com/ReviveOurHearts twitter.com: @ReviveOurHearts instagram: @reviveourhearts
PO Box 2000 • Niles, MI 49120 • ReviveOurHearts.com • 800.569.5959 Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, Copyright © 2001, Crossway Bibles, esv.org. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture marked NKJV taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Editorial: Mindy Kroesche, Paula Marsteller, Hayley Mullins Art Direction: Benjamin Hannah Design: Nicole Tejera Photographers: Lightstock
Nancy, I want to help Revive Our Hearts provide biblical encouragement to as many women as possible in 2018.
P.O. Box 2000 • Niles, MI 49120
My gift is enclosed. Please send me your book Lies Women Believe. My gift is enclosed. Please do not send me the book.
[FullName] [OrgName] [Address1] [Address2] [AddressCity], [AddressState] [AddressZip] [AddressCountry] [EntityID]
[GrpMotvCode]
I listen to Revive Our Hearts on _____ (station call letters). I listen to Revive Our Hearts on the Internet.
Donate by credit card: I authorize Revive Our Hearts to charge $ __________ to my credit card. One-time gift Visa
Monthly (on the 20th), beginning ___ /___ (month/year). This authorization remains in effect until Revive Our Hearts receives notification from me of its termination.
MasterCard
Discover
Credit card number: __ __ __ __ /__ __ __ __ /__ __ __ __ /__ __ __ __ Exp. date: __ __ /__ __ Cardholder’s signature: ______________________________________________________ Date: ____________________________ Print name (as it appears on your card): ___________________________________________________________________________
Donate monthly by Electronic Funds Transfer: I authorize Revive Our Hearts to withdraw $ __________ from my bank account on the 5th or 20th of each month. This authorization begins ____ /____ (month/year) and remains in effect until Revive Our Hearts receives notification from me of its termination.
Please attach a voided check. Signature: _______________________________________________________________________ Date: _____________________________
is an outreach of:
2727 Niles-Buchanan Rd. P.O. Box 31 Buchanan, MI 49107
Life Action Ministries
Sets us free !
Share the Truth
that
2018 Winter Newsletter Enclosed