BE A BETTER MAN IN CHRIST JESUS

WEEK 1 INTRODUCTION WHERE ARE WE?

Scripture

What did Paul say? “Jesus’ grace is sufficient.”

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself. 8 Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. 9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 10 So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What is required? A heart for Christ and a mind set upon Him.

Read Scripture on page 8

Matthew 5:27-30 27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!

Conversation: we will be talking frankly and openly about subjects that you may be rethinking about now … or wondering if it is worth thinking about at all. This will not be easy, but it can be for our growth and some changes in our purity as believing men. This is NOT about perfection and it is NOT about judgment or hell.

Purity is not a very popular word because it is directly opposed to what our culture and our media says is ok and in fact normal. The impure is what is promoted almost everywhere you and I look. Sex sells everything from cars and payday loans to clothing and music. What comes to your mind when you hear the word “purity?” Do you think of a person who is a “goody two-shoes” or someone who is acting “holier than thou?”

Let’s consider some of the introductory questions. It is great if you can read the book, but if not we will still be able to address the issue of battling our sexual temptation and managing our thinking with the help of Jesus. You cannot live in a monastery, so this will affect you right where you live every day.

Just for perspective: Other addictions and abuses can be more easily dealt with because we can eliminate the supply or the ways we use and get “high.” Well, you can shut down a liquor store or hang up on your dealer, but you and I are attached to our male parts. Yep, say it … “penis.” You are not advised to cut it off so it is like having a fifth in the cupboard. How easy is it not to use if the source is you? We will explore all of these issues that make what we are discussing seem almost impossible to achieve … and yet we can make real progress and indeed heal. Best of all we will not have such a burdened heart, and we will be safe to be around. Females will not have to be concerned about our intentions. I don’t know about you, but I am not a dog and women are not slabs of meat.

For those young men who are attending or are considering it, we applaud you. We see in you a hope that many of us have just given up on. You are a true blessing to this group; there is the opportunity to get your thoughts and acts in order on the name of Jesus early in your life and to be an inspiration to those who are older, and a blessing to the women in your lives.

Questions:

Why are you here? Why do you believe there is a sexual sin or temptation in your life that needs to be addressed spiritually?

Do you often feel alone in your battle against lust and temptation?

Do you feel like sex is a drive or an addiction?

When it comes to a believer’s sin do you believe it is a result of immaturity or rebellion?

What is it about being a guy that makes sexual thinking a problem for us?

Has your sexual desire had negative impact on others, on an important relationship, or led you into dark places in pursuit of pleasure?

Do you believe that Jesus can help, and even heal, if we are willing?

What is your personal weakness or “thorn in the flesh?” Be reasonably specific but do not provide graphic detail.

Is it more likely that you will be able to control your mind and body or that in Christ you will be better able to manage your impulses? Why?

Do you believe that lust in the heart is the breeding ground for sin and is equivalent to a physical act? See Matthew 5:27-28 above.

How does Scripture speak into our personal struggle?

SCRIPTURE:

What does Paul Say?

1 Timothy 6:9-10 9 But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.

What Does Jesus say in Matthew?

Matthew 6:19-24 19 “Don’t collect for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. So if the light within you is darkness how deep is that darkness!

24 “No one can be a slave of two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot be slaves of God and of money.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-7 1 Finally then, brothers, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus, that as you have received from us how you must walk and please God — as you are doing — do so even more. 2 For you know what commands we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

3 For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, 4 so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, 5 not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God. 6 This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. 7 For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. 8 Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who also gives you His Holy Spirit.

What Paul is encouraging in this passage is this: we will continue to live among those who do not believe, and those who may come to believe. In either case we are to be good examples of what it means to love and follow Jesus. This does not mean perfection, but that every effort is made to live a life that is upright this side of glory. We live in the flesh and we know that we are in a constant battle against our own will and the will of the enemy. It is no secret that this is a very difficult course to follow.

How did we end up in this place? How did we get into this mess? None of us have gone out in the morning intending to end up addicted and controlled by our desires and temptations. In fact, it is quite the contrary! We probably got up many or most mornings and swore an oath that we would not do the things that day which got us in trouble the day before and the day before that. And yet, the temptation of being who we are got the best of us … again.

Has anyone ever heard the old proverb or adage, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions?” How do you interpret that saying?

Are you aware that being a Christ follower does not provide immunity to sexual temptation? The latest studies tell us that the statistical difference between Christian men and nonbelieving men is practically nonexistent when it comes to viewing habits of porn and the like. What does this say to you? It surprised me!

From the text: For most of us, becoming ensnared by sexual sin happened easily and naturally, like slipping off an icy log … Perhaps you’ve mustered the hope that you would someday be free from sexual sin and expected to grow out of it as naturally as you grew into it –like outgrowing acne or adolescent awkwardness.

Ok, so in the book Steve has the ultimate “aha moment” as he plows his Mercedes into a Chevelle while watching a very attractive jogger. Thankfully, most of us have not had that costly a wakeup call … or have we? What is it that gets out attention and makes clear that we are not in control of our thoughts and our actions?

For Fred it was browsing the Sunday morning ads (how ironic) that got his attention, and which had become its own addictive activity. Think about it as a martini for the eyes and the pleasure centers of the brain.

Questions:

What did you personally identify with in the stories from these two men? What did it take for us (you and me) to come to a place where we were aware of our illicit activities?

How much a part of your life have guilt and shame become?

Do we have two or more separate lives? How long can we lead double or triple lives?

How distracted are we by our surroundings? How much do we just accept as “the ways of the world we live in?” At my work I see it all. It is a steep challenge. Some things are a treat and others I wish I didn’t have to even see.

What are you distracted by? What steps, if any, have you taken to shield from yourself from this kind of everyday temptation?

After the introduction last week, and some time to think it over, do you think living victoriously is possible and do you think purity is a reasonable goal? Why or why not.

As a final thought for those who lives through what we called the “sexual revolution” in the sixties and seventies … was it truly liberating or in the end did it become another form of bondage and addiction?