5 minute read
Forever in our hearts .......... 8
Forever in Our Hearts
For so many of us our animals are our companions and beloved members of our family. They provide us with unconditi onal love, emoti onal support, and enjoyment during their far too short lives. While experiencing loss can be devastati ng, it is an inevitable part of owning a pet. Below you will fi nd professionals that will provide you with compassionate care during your ti me of loss as well as some opti ons to memorialize your loved one. Suggesti on: If you have a younger dog you might consider having portraits taken during diff erent stages of their life.
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GRIEVING OUR BELOVED PETS
As a pet loss and bereavement counselor, I have worked with clients who have lost many diff erent kinds of beloved animal companions and have seen fi rsthand that grief is as individual as our fi ngerprints. Our pets off er us a constant in life and see us through changing ti mes and diffi cult life events. They are our confi dants who love us unconditi onally, just as we are. We care for them and watch over them their whole lives; we are their stewards. They bring us laughter and joy. When we have to say goodbye, we can feel as though we don’t know who we are without them, that we have lost our best friend, our child, or our purpose. It can be devastati ng. Someti mes others tell us how we should feel and don’t understand the magnitude of our feelings. We call this disenfranchised grief: grief that is not recognized by others. It’s important to honor the loss of your companion animal on your own ti metable, giving yourself the space to truly feel your feelings and experience your grief. Finding community that is important to you and rituals that help you connect with your beloved pet can help you to remember they are not forgott en. Our goal might be to remember our pets with more love than pain eventually. Be gentle and kind to yourself, take baby steps towards healing, and treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. We don’t get "over" losing an animal that we love; we somehow get through it. The fi ve stages of grief are: shock, anger, guilt, sadness/ acceptance and resoluti on (coming to peace with what has happened). People do not go through these stages in a linear way, but oft en experience many of these feelings simultaneously. Perhaps the emoti on I most oft en hear from people is that they feel guilty. This is natural because the more you care,
Compassionate Pet Loss Counseling www.pet-loss-counseling.com patricialeerodeone@gmail.com 646-729-6633
“Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ~ Anatole France
BENSON BROOK
Pet Cremations
24 Hour Service Gary Smith
Phone: 207.793.8558 Cell: 207.608.2280
the more you wish you could have done for your beloved pet. They call this the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" phase whereby we go over and over what we might have done to keep them with us. All of a sudden, no matt er what we do, we can’t save them. It’s so hard to let them go. The decision to help an animal ‘cross over’ as I say, to choose euthanasia, is probably one of the most diffi cult decisions of many people’s lives. Yet for your pet that no longer has control of its physical and mental assets that allows it to live free of pain, it is the fi nal act of love. Euthanasia is a Greek word that means ‘good death.’ When it is to end suff ering if your pet cannot recover health, it is the best, and hardest, decision. Choosing something to link you to your precious pet can help comfort you: a memorial in your home, lighti ng a candle in the evening, a plant in memory of it, jewelry with its name engraved on it, or tatt oos. A teenager I counseled carries his dog’s collar on his backpack. For children, the loss of their family pet can be the fi rst loss they experience. It’s important for adults to support their feelings and model ways we grieve. All loss brings about a
TITAN BELONGS TO DEBBIE KING OF SCARBOROUGH PHOTO CREDIT: KEITH HOLLAND PHOTOGRAPHY
transformati on. If we can feel our feelings to heal, we can get through the loss of our treasured pet as bett er people, perhaps their parti ng gift to us. The loss of our pet can leave us with more knowledge about what’s important to us in life. Love and grief are inextricably intertwined – yet even though our beloved pets are no longer on this planet, we are sti ll in relati onship with them because…love is eternal. Those we love and lose become the fabric of our lives and become a part of us. It isn’t easy, but over ti me, we can learn to come to peace with our loss and love again. Patricia Lee Rode, MA htt ps://www.pet-losscounseling.com (Patricia is a pet loss and bereavement counselor living in Rockland, ME. She sees clients in person, via telephone or Zoom.)
VETERINARY HOSPICE AND SENIOR CARE Senior & Geriatric Pet Health and Veterinary Hospice (207) 361-7145 www.havenvethospice.com
A place to celebrate a beloved pet who has passed away. Mark their final resting spot. Create a photo gallery and biography. Share with friends and family.
ripspot.com
Use courtesy code: LOVE207 for a 50% discount.
