RFD Issue 3 Spring 1975

So 4 r \ C R F D is OLOina ~io p re s s and u it .Acf h<?rtf ujondtrinm hou_> it a®& .happened . “TWju . i.'r or\<liA a. Q-'M-Jot. /w ort cuMina and a2.u_i.rv3,. to do, them the rtd-li^ed .Sob df p$*3fre»dina . "The a ttic u3il\ be a u i t r actfxin. hlo more ht^pewriters , coffee , scissor^ , pen and ink., RfO CoaAVrc< n&p on the uJoJ£4, articSea/ and. £et+e\o to decide on. And th e seven tv eiahh odd -faAaotS -that puh hhe m a^'kine to a e th e r -this ^ime coant -to^teAfl c^ou_ aJ?J? bouj u>e did if.

T^e Ctaponse f/u»\ -Cxr-apart“ pJkceS cr\ th e fountra, ((Xu.Strn.fiia- b f^Vine) halo been ouo~ujHet*ni.naL . £ach ddu we a t t a. n&u batch o f mat-0.

Wihn th e tethers have come Cbrd-phics , poetru,, articled f phoVoara-phs j ajtX OeAebcatina Our new founiP Connection ujifh ?o£h o tte r. The xna^e.

Vjotume o f mcxVe.ri.afl. /m a d e i f nec.ea6an.tA fo r u$ to choosa. UJhat woufld be Ctood for this CS^ae , aru! ujh<ct uioufid have. -to ei+her ujait for a future ^rintiwa o r cobect" dash in a brown fifle bo< u n tii the sku $aM■S in. So i t becdme netessa.ru. to ./u d at the materiafl. on th e basis of our own potihCafl. <Xnd personal. bfflief S} Ound uohah wouid work together k> {o n n a. spring m essag e.

EacVn issue is pat oat bu a. JifftAent- cyoup of people ^ and each issue rejects their own beliefs, for as , these included decisions not to use materials uje fefet to be of onflu tit ij?Cat in a in te n t, fc/or did uje use things we (JtCt were oppressioe. \x)e voice. Su_pporv of -feminine identified mafieo.

Subscri ptions to a m oersons cnStituhonafii■*ed against their u>ifi£_ rec<2iue_ the ma^a'Oji.re fre e , ferhaps th e mo>t important reafl* eat>c>m uje Came to u>as th a t RFD is and Should be for fan^ots. For us this m eans t h a t \(X. material}, used is Created bu^ faa^otS. Ret pnoduchem , flavour and finanuafl.

Support is provided bt^ faap^ots .

So f a r , RFD is th e ontu Connection th a t aau me^n uuho are info adterna-hoes to citu sUdCina Raoe uai-th each other. \xje need ho become reoponsioe to ourseloes. w i need a safe. Communication betcoeen crthers 2,ili<t ourseloes in this Continual process o f coming out and c^rourth. feedbacK on tKis uoouCd be appreciated from afit uou_, uoho a r e RecJUL^ Feeiinn DiMine. T^anu thanKS to oM mho Contributed hm e( e r v e r ^ }. moneu. a»vi. looc for thvs issu e. ervera^ Noui u>e are tupnina our eneanic-s to other th in a s ... oeoetabie Stdrts f o r the Garden > t\ean\nor ou t Vhe Rouse , thunderstorm antici pvtions, Oersonafl.^ and coitechwe oroujth . N\wch bursting and blooming ii to be Gone a f t e r a flona^ £on<^ Hou)0_ w in te r. Xime “ to be outdoors Ln th e Counhcv^ aapln f tim e for budding.

Xt*S been a aood Chanae for us aC.C.j fhis RFQ **3. Hope uoa_ en^Ou^ it . And hope, upur Spring is frurtfufl. and reav\^ )reaV\c^ diutne.

of country pith

REALLY FEELIN G DIVINE

RFD

S P R IN G

E Q U IN O X

1975

P R O D U C T IO N D ic k , D o n -T e v e l, K e n , K im , L a rry, O la f , O llie , R ick and Stewart

G R A P H IC S A lla n : 33, 39, pansies, seed p a cke t A lla n Berube: 39 W ilto n D a v id : 3 D ic k : 1 ,2 ,7 ,2 7 ,3 6 D o n -T e v e l: 8 ,1 0 ,2 0 - 2 3 , 40, 4 2 -4 4 P a trick Dowers: 19, 48 A rth u r Evans: 15 K im : 18, 30, 31, back co ve r O la f O degaard: 13 O llie : c o v e r, 47 R ich a rd: lit t le flow ers R ic k : 26 Robert Schelham mer: 2 4 -2 5 Jay S chraeter: 16 S te w a rt: 45

RFD is published fo u r times a ye a r by RFD, P. O . Box 161, G r in n e ll, Iowa 50112 and is p rin te d by the Iowa C ity W omen's Press, 116$ East Benton S t . , Iowa C ity , Iowa 52240.

A ye a r's subscription is $ 2 .0 0 (second class m a il). S in g le copies are 50$.

Second Class postage is paid a t G r in n e ll, Iowa 50112.

RFD CONTENTS

2 4 5 6

Letters W in te r in the High Country N o rth w e st N o rth C a ro lin a O h , Friend Crocus C ity /C o u n try Leather *

7 12 13

co u n try faggots B arrie D a vid D a lto n Joe O l lie Lee M in tz Jason Q u ic k s ilv e r When the Crash Comes, W hat W ill Faggots D o?

14

Two Tales o f N e w Sodom

18 19 20 23 24

Forest S helter C o lo r Page

26 27 28 29 30 34 36 39 40 41 42 45 46 48

W histlers on the W ind A Chinese Z en Poetry

John Upson Jay Schraeter A rth u r Evans K im P a trick Dowers O llie

Caradoc ap Codor Russell Ross robert C ountry Roads co u n try faggots Earth Photos D ic k M ore Letters co u n try faggots u n title d O la f A t the Ppss--a modern m o ra lity p la y Carl U n cle N ed Says, "L e t's E a t!" co u n try faggots M ore Letters co u n try faggots In V e rn a lis Temporis A lla n The M a g ic k o f the Moon F e lix the le a th e r l o o k . . . g a vin S pring, S p ir it, and Faggotry A n Equinox Letter Resources In the summer d a y s .. .

D on-T evel Stew art

everyw here W yom ing N o rth C a ro lin a C a lifo rn ia Iowa N e w York W ashington Pennsylvania W ashington W ashington W isconsin W ashington Iowa C a lifo rn ia B ritish C olum bia C a lifo rn ia everyw here Iowa everyw here Wisconsin O regon everyw here everyw here O regon N e w Y ork north C arolina Iowa Iowa

O la f W isconsin

1

IJBTTCRS& IJ?TIERS& LETIERS&

q u a lity o f lif e o f each in d iv id u a l I o ffe r the above re ­ marks.

O b vio u sly i t is my in te n tio n to be h e lp fu l. O n ly by t e llin g you w h a t others th in k can you make reasoned a p ­ proaches to yo u r p u b lic a tio n . I wish you w e ll and hope th a t you can be o f rea l va lu e to those readers in the rural areas.

R e s p e c tfu lly , Loren G . B u rt, M . D.

IXHTTERS I just re c e iv e d arid read and re -re a d , looked at and f e lt the w in te r issue and I'm f ille d . R e a lly b e a u tifu l channels are ope ning u p . I fe e l th a t RFD has the power to disperse a lo t o f aloneness, the kin d o f aloneness that makes people th in k they are sin g u la r in th e ir struggles.

Sure we are in a c e rta in sense, b u t I fe e l the channels fo r re la tin g ease the is o la tio n . So g ra te fu l.

It's ra in in g h e re . A soft ra in . I can z ip up my c o a t, raise my head to the sky smell fe e l the w ind w et b lo w through my h a ir my head down over my eyes my nose my lip s . So g ra te fu l fo r the c o n ta c t the c o n n e c tio n .

Robert Schelhammer San Francisco

T ru th fu lly , I am ve ry disa p p ointe d w ith RFD. A t no p o in t has i t been h e lp fu l to the large group o f gays th a t I kn o w , see or tre a t.

B eing aw are o f the fa c t th a t this is not the most d ip lo ­ m atic way to open a le tte r or to in it ia t e an id e a , I must e x p la in .

As we see i t this p u b lic a tio n is o f much less va lu e to the gays than those p u b lic a tio n s from the b ig c it y , such as the A d v o c a te . A nd a t this p o in t I am re fe rrin g to those persons who liv e in rura l areas.

You ask, "W h a t's w ro n g ? " . . . W e ll, pseudosophistica­ tio n is o b v io u s . L in g u is tic and jo u rn a lis tic s k ills are not those o f ru ra l A m e ric a . N e x t there has y e t to be an a r­ t ic le tru ly re le v a n t to those outside the metro areas.

N o th in g is presented to assist the rura l gay in his p lig h t. . . .fa r b e tte r he read N ew sw eek o r T im e . The form at and p ictu re s appear to have come from a N e w Y o rk C ity p sych e d e lic s h o p ...o n e whose ow ner was on a drug tr ip .

S yn ta x, I w o n d e r?

W hat I am saying is you have an e x c e lle n t idea in R F D ...b u t w ould someone " g e t th e ir s h it to g e th e r" and p u t o u t a p u b lic a tio n fo r the people o f rura l A m e ric a ?

W ould someone w rite o T th e d if f ic u lt , as w e ll as the less d if f ic u lt , manner in w h ic h the rura l same se x-o rie n te d in d iv id u a l finds h im s e lf. And when possible o ffe r sug­ gestions o f how he copes w ith those problem s.

As a p h y s ic ia n te a c h in g human s e x u a lity at C entral M ic h ig a n U n iv e rs ity , one who counsels gays, one tre a t­ in g transexualism and a professional who cares about the

z

. . . I had made the 2000 m ile move from Texas to liv e in the co u n trysid e o f O reg o n 's W illa m e tte R iver V a lle y , and there I was a t the riv e r's end in P o rtla n d -to w n , its grey dampness accented by the clo u d y n ig h t and its b ig c ity loneliness sharpened by in a cce ssib le heights o f the skyscrapers th a t are its h e a rt. So there I was, contem ­ p la tin g how dependent gays are on th e c ity bar games (sexual and s o c ia l) to meet o ther gays. And w ondering where my p rio ritie s w e re, a n yw a y. And how co u ld I meet someone interested in rura l life s ty le in dow ntow n P o rtla n d. Possible, b u t h ig h ly im p ro b a b le . So I re ­ turned to my house on the h i l l , and a rura l frie n d who is gay put yo u r m agazine in fro n t o f me.

A fte r reading i t c o v e r-to -c o v e r I became somewhat re lie v e d and even a lit t le hopeful th a t my co u n try home was not a self-im posed e x ile from my gay p e o p le . I now am lo o kin g forw ard to a tim e o f m eeting these o th e r men who share common interests and p h ilo so p hie s, as w e ll as s e x u a lity . Thanks to RFD. You fo lks had a g reat id e a .

I'm glad you m o tiva te d , not o n ly fo r my sake, b u t fo r those who are y e t to d isco ve r others in to the s e n s itiv itie s o f nature and the E arth. I'm no longer fly in g through M oth e r Earth News w o ndering w here everybody i s . . . .

Jay Jackson R t. I , Box 79 M onm outh, OR 97361

Y o u r m agazine is g re a t, in s p irin g , and just enough to keep me on the rig h t tr a c k — liv in g close to the ground gets a l it t le muddy sometimes.

T im , G e o rg ia c / o RFD

I have just returned from N e w Y o rk where I thought I wanted to liv e , a fte r a s u rfe it o f P la in fie ld . Perhaps it to o k the opposite extrem e to g iv e me a new a p p re c ia tio n fo r rural liv in g . The house I have moved in to sits imme­ d ia te ly beside the W in o o s k i. There is a w a te rfa ll b e h in d , so th a t the back o f the b u ild in g alw ays has liq u id music and the fro n t windows foce up th e riv e r and towards the m ountains.

I have been w r itin g a novel fo r tw o years, w h ic h is a lo n e ly o c c u p a tio n , and since novels d o n 't sing or dance o r do a n y th in g o f th e ir o w n , i t is a d ry a rt to w ork a t.

"Those who liv e by th e word w ill d ie lis t e n in g . " — D e lmore S ch w a rtz, a q uote I have just fo u nd , w h ich I am lis te n in g to , w h ic h expresses my general in te n tio n not to d ie a t a ty p e w rite r.

I used to fe e l iso la te d here, used to miss the a v a ilib ility o f things lik e the baths and bars and e n te rta in m e n t spots o f c itie s , b u t I no longer miss any o f th is . I do not care a bout the a v a ilib ilit y o f a n y th in g so much as lo v e , com panionship and g ro w th , w h ic h can be found anyw here o r now h e re . G auntry liv in g o n ly removes the dross to show me the innards; and i f lo ve does n o t e x is t, or is d e n ie d , i t is u su a lly not fo r w a n t o f partners.

S te p h e n , Verm ont c / o RFD

O u r names are M ark and A n d y . We liv e in F a ye tte ­ v ille , a small c o lle g e town in northw est A rk a n s a s .. .

A lth o u g h F a y e tte v ille is n 't a true rura l co m m u n ity, many people have come here in re ce n t years fo r the pur­ pose o f g e ttin g ba ck to the la n d . The m a jo rity o f these new pioneers are young fa m ily -o rie n te d p e o p le , in to a Steve G a skin 's "The Farm" t r ip . H o w e ve r, there is also a s ize a b le gay p o p u la tio n in F a y e tte v ille .

M a rk and I have been here fo r about six months, o rig in a lly to homestead a small acreage in these b e a u tifu l' O z a rk M o u n ta in s. H ow ever, we fin d ourselves tem por­ a r ily se ttle d in the tow n its e lf, w a itin g fo r the rig h t o p p o rtu n ity to ve n ture fo rth in to th e h ills . We are in ­ terested in h e aring how o th e r gays are managing in rural A m e rik a , and the problem s, successes and lessons others have ha d . Look forw ard to h e a rin g from y o u .

M ark and A n d y c / o RFD

Here in Hum bolt G a u nty, lots o f G ay men are com ing to g eth e r in a group c a lle d G ay People's U n io n . (We fin d th a t most o f the women prefer to be a port o f the Sisters o f Sappho, the group from w h ich we s p ra n g .)

W e 've been in v o lv e d in some p o litic a l a c tio n s , lik e a protest o f a Marcus W e lb y segm ent. We and the Sisters have a le rte d members o f the lo ca l press to the existence o f G ay p e o p le , and to the fa c t th a t we are real human b e in g s. The newspaper has run its firs t a rtic le s on G ays, and we have go tten a ir tim e on tw o o f the th re e t e le v i­ sion sta tio n s. W e 're try in g to educate the s tra ig h t popu­ la tio n , and more im p o rta n tly , to reach our sisters and brothers who are a fra id o f th e ir own Gayness.

A t the same tim e , we g iv e Gays a chance to get to ­ gether in pleasant com pany. This helps break down the is o la tio n th a t d rives so many Gays o u t o f our area to places lik e San Francisco and Los A n g e le s. I b e lie v e th a t i t is e s p e c ia lly im p orta n t to g iv e young Gays in high school good examples o f proud G ay p e o ple — so they can b u ild a p o sitive s e lf-im a g e .

I have g reat hopes fo r RFD. I fe e l I have much to learn about how others approach b e in g a co u n try fa g g o t, and I fe e l I may have som ething o f my own to share.

I'd also lik e to correspond w ith my G ay co u n try b ro ­ thers, so please w r ite . I can te ll you about redwoods lik e M a rin never thought o f h a v in g . W ith lo v e , R ichard Khamsi P .O . Box 94 > L o le ta , CA 95551

3

W IN TER IN T H E HIGH COUNTRY O n the weekends, I am in the m ountains, or w ith some friends (m arried) on ranches th a t they re n t or ow n.

W in te r is a slow , un co m fo rta b le tim e d u rin g the w e e k.

Summers are just g re a t, b u t I sure can g e t c a b in fever in the w in te r.

I ' l l be m aking a tr ip to Denver sometime soon on a long w e e ke n d. F ifte e n gay bars, more o r less, man w hat a good tim e . H it a b a r, in bed, another b a r, in bed, e t c . , g e ttin g dru n k, e tc . Then tim e to go home and a w hole day to tra v e l. Denver is a tr ip about four times a y e a r.

I lo ve the mountains th o ug h . They grow on y o u . I have deer and moose, fish in g and mountains in my back y a rd . I have a tru c k to get around w ith . If I never turned on TV , I'd never know w hat was going o n .

I am 35, b u t lo o k 25, good, s tra ig h t-lo o k in g . I guess I need a best b u d d y -lo v e r to share e v e ry th in g w ith . I The a la rm goes o f f a t 6 a . m . , and the firs t th in g I do am no d iffe re n t than most rural gays, happy, sad, and is lo o k o u t the w in d o w . I can see the stars and the wind h a lfw a y , but g e ttin g a lo n g . is n 't b lo w in g so it has got to be c o ld .

O n the news there is a storm com ing east from O regon Looking a t the therm om eter, I see i t is -10 degrees. | and W ashington, so there w ill be snow and i t w ill be That is n 't bad as here in the h ig h c o u n try , a t 7000 f t . b e a u tify !. above sea le v e l, i t is a d ry c o ld . O f course, i t co u ld The weekend is com ing up and I lo ve th e m . Perhaps be un b ea ra b le , but most tim es, when the w ind blows it on Saturday n ig h t I ' l l go to one o f the fe w bars in to w n . is a c o o l w in d , and the tem perature may be in the + 2 0's. I ' l l ta lk about h u n tin g , fis h in g , wom en, e t c . , and d rin k I love to see an o vercast sky and w in d , as long as I am w ith the best o f them and be the s tra ig h te s t-a c tin g queer dressed fo r i t . I th ro w w c te r on my fa c e , brush my te e th , in the U .S . I ' l l th in k a bout D e n ve r, the m ountains, and get dressed, make b re a k fa st, f ix my lu n ch , and liste n to home, and g e t d ru n k . the news from N e w Y o rk .

I just wanted to share my thoughts w ith o ther rural D a m n it, the news makes a guy w ant to g e t dru n k and gays. So this is lif e in the w in te r in the high c o u n try — say the h e ll w ith it a ll.

The lum ber m ill starts a t 7 a . m . , h a lf an hour for lu n c h , and tim e to go home a t 3 :3 0 . I make $ 3 .8 0 per hour, not much fo r the East or W est Coast b u t O . K . for W yo m in g.

I head for the post o ffic e , then the drug store some­ tim es, and then home a fte r a hard day at the m ill. There is n o t much to do in a sm all to w n , d u rin g the w in te r.

A t 5 p .m . it is d a rk , I co o k supper, take a b a th , w a tch tv , and p la y my tapes. Sleep comes and then it is m orn in g .

MORE LETTIRS I w o u ld lik e to correspond w ith and meet o th er RFD readers from the M id w e s t. I f yo u are v is itin g M in n e a ­ p o lis o r liv e in th is a re a , d ro p me a lin e so we can get to g e th e r. I am a form er farm er disp la ce d to th e c it y .

Please w r ite : O c c u p a n t, 2435 Pillsbury A ve n u e S ., ^3 09 , M in n e a p o lis , M N 55404.

4

M y firs t issue o f RFD a rrive d e a rlie r this month and I re a lly f e lt good a fte r I got in to i t . This tow n (p o p u la ­ tio n 3 ,0 0 5 ) is q u ite a change from g ro w in g up in Los A ngeles and com ing o u t in B e rk e le y . M any o f the thoughts th a t I had not expressed— or shared o n ly w ith gay frien d s on rare v is its to the Bay A re a — were c la r ifie d and made obvious to me through rea d in g w h a t others were d o in g in the c o u n try .

M ay I make a li t t l e p lug fo r my liv ilih o o d — th e co u n ty lib r a ry ? M ost lib ra rie s are m oving aw ay from the "ke e p e r o f the books" im age and the p ic tu re o f the o ld la d y w ith her h a ir in a bun "s h -in g " e ve ryo n e . We have a ll kinds o f in fo rm a tio n on alm ost any to p ic ; and i f we d o n 't, we can borrow i t from o th e r p la ce s. Please g iv e yo u r lo c a l co u n ty lib ra ry a try when you have a question or just need som ething to read fo r a lit t le re ­ la x a tio n .

W ith much lo v e , S te ve , C a lifo rn ia c / o RFD

NORTHW EST NORTH CAROLINA, NOVEMBER—-—' . - W 1!

G a v in w ill be o f f to San F rancisco any day n o w . He my ancestors. M y g re a t-g ra n d m o th e r who mastered the says he's g o in g c ra z y here and knows he c o u ld n 't liv e d u lc im e r, my g re a t-g ra n d fa th e r who th re w h im self in here w ith Cathy g o n e . C a th y's g o in g bo ck to Boston— fro n t o f a tra in , my g re a t-u n c le who tamed the tro u t in th is tim e fo r good I guess. I'v e never liv e d in Boston his li t t l e pond and p la n ted the w h ite pines th a t G a v in or San F ra n cisco . Perhaps i f I hod, I too w ould come to lik e s so much and the ginseng we c o u ld never fin d . need th a t flu x o f b e a u tifu l p e o p le . But I ' l l be c o o kin g O c to b e r was n ic e . C athy came home from M assachu­ meals fo r one a g a in , lig h tin g fires fo r o ne, com ing home setts. We made dinners fo r each o th e r, p la ye d the pia n o to a d a rk house, w a itin g d a ily fo r the m a il.

Tor each o th e r. G a v in and I moved the goat fence and The house is h uge, o ld , c o ld , and d ra fty . G a v in baked pum pkin pies: the 84 ye a r o ld w id o w across the hung some o ld b la c k c u rta in s around the staircase to road gave us a pum pkin fo r m oving her snow ball bush keep heat from g e ttin g lost upstairs. M any days in O c ­ and p la n tin g her jo n q u ils and to ld us w h a t good n e ig h ­ tober we sawed the dead wood in the o ld goat th ic k e t. 1 bors we a re . A nd the 'D r ie l hod the p re ttie s t kitte n s I t makes p e rfe c t co o k in g wo 1 1 1 ■' ' one th a t looks lik e the c a t h eat th is y e a r. I sold the o iI h e a te r. O iI is too e xp - ' £* ertsive n o w . I'v e three wood, stoves and tw o fire p la c e s .

M ore than enough. I do w orry a bout the h o u s e p la n t ^ ^ ® ® * ® ^ * " th o u g h . Some o f them were Frostbitten last w in te r in the d in in g room w in d o w . A nd I w orry d x> ut the 'D r ie l— sh e 's such a c o ld natured c a t. But I ' l l try to leave h good fire s when I'm gone w o rk , and she sleeps w ith me a t n ig h t. We keep each o th e r warm , and she d o e sn 't seem to mind i f I r o ll on her.

G a v in hates to be c o ld . He says people w e re n 't meant liv e o utside the tro p ic s , or w ear c lo th e s o r e a t a n y th i b u t fre s h -p ic k e d f r u it . Says why do I co o k so much ric e and soybeans— to o much p ro te in — and why d o n 't the g ro ­ ce ry stores here have d e c e n t f r u it — the gro ce ry stores in C a lifo rn ia alw ays have f r u it . Says why do I even liv e in th is s ta te , w hy d o n 't I q u it my jo b , and se ll my goats, and g e t rid o f my pia n o and go somewhere n ic e . I d o n 't k n o w . In e rtia m aybe. It's k in d o f n ice sometim es. I can g e t by p le n ty w e ll w ith o n ly tw o frie n d s , and my d o g , my c a r, my m ail box and my p ia n o . But gosh, it's g o in g to be a long c o ld w in te r w ith just my d o g , my c a r, my m a ilb o x and my p ia n o .

September was so n ic e . M y dog and I met G a v in 's pla n e a t the a ir p o r t. I h a d n 't seen G a v in fo r seven months. I w atched the pla n e r o ll tow ard the g a te , and I th o u g h t o f th e song th a t had gone through my head o ve r and o v e r th e last tim e I to ld G a v in goodby: "D a n ie l is l e a v i n g . . . . " The same fe e lin g in r e v e rs e ...m y rew ard . . . m y com pensation. He w a lke d in to the lo b b y , h a ir fly in g . W est Coast c lo th e s , p a in ted fin g e rn a ils . He was b e a u tifu l. W e spent the n e x t fo u r weekends in th e moun­ tains lo o k in g fo r a farm to buy th a t we never fo u n d . The Blue Ridge M o u n ta in s . M y roots are th e re , the ghosts o f

he had in C a lifo rn ia , and he says I must save i t fo r h im .

Fantasies a lw ays h e lp d u rin g a lo n e ly stre a k, and my fantasy fo r Decem ber is th is : In February I shall close up the house, send the plants to my siste r, the goats to board w ith Cam.ni and some o f the cats to friends in V ir g in ia . I shall b o rro w a li t t l e gypsy tr a ile r , a tta ch it to the c a r, and the d o g , the 'D r ie l and I shall s trik e o u t fo r C a lifo r n ia . Perhaps my frie n d who live s lik e an In ­ d ia n in C olorado w ill le t me v is it a day or tw o . I shall pass through D e n ve r, and Las Vegas, L .A . and 'F ris c o , Portland and S e a ttle — maybe even V a n co u ve r, and [Toronto and C h ica g o , Boston and N e w Y o rk . Then I shall come home a g a in , and open up the house, and put the goats in the pasture, and th a t w ill. b e the end o f w in te r. G a v in w ill come back w ith m e. through w ith San F rancisco by th e n .

H e 'll be

D a vid D a lto n (D a vid 's house was p ic tu re d on page 3 o f the sue o f RFD. O n December 2 2 , he w rote th a t burned d o w n . "A n y w a y , I saved my dog and lost e v e ry th in g else, and I have moved (gulp) c ity ."

W in te r Is­ the house cats but to the

5

Oh Friend O h frie n d , lo o k behind your shadows, there you are clo th e d w ith sun as i f shodows were a box th a t co u ld be opened and a ll these regarded â&#x20AC;&#x201D; returned o f â&#x20AC;&#x201D; disposed o f.

There is a th in g I would understand, perhaps you co u ld h e lp me. I d o n 't see in te n s ity o r exposure as the s a lu ta tio n /g ra c e o f sexual e m o tio n . In re la tio n s h ip , there is grow th, fu lfillm e n t w ith in each o th er where there is lo v e . We make o f our b o d ily |oys instruments d e s tru c tiv e , our use o f each oth er is n e g lig e n t o f tenderness when we seek the d e s tru c tio n o f the w a n t/s e lf thru the o b liv io n o f union w ith a n o th e r. Before we have opened in jo y , perhaps the deepest com m unication is sexual, a t once the most co m p le te , p h y s ic a lly e m o tio n a lly th a t is know nâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; y e t in jo y , we can share o u rse lf w ith the morning as i f a s p irit folded us in diaphanous w in g s. This m orning I w alked down a h ills id e o f moist earth and my joy was c le a r, real stream water wonderous on glass c la r ity m oving and I wondered about tenderness and how these b lu e eyes o f mine turn warm o r s o ft,o r jo y fu l o r weaken w ith so great a fe e lin g and I wondered about fe e lin g and expression and s e x u a lity th e n . Who here can b rin g me to understand this th in g I have never stood in a c le a r p lace to see through?

Joe

Crocus Ha!

It's come to me a t last: ever since I can remember seeing a flo w e r bloom not know ing w hat i t took to break through le ft-o v e r w in te r crust o f unwormy s o il, staring o u t b r illia n t ly washed windows onto a dullness and p a llo r th a t could o n ly have taken centuries to decay; then going through the to rtu re o f g u ilt: needle pangs in a heart too fresh to b le e d , th a t could o n ly sw ell in an a lrea d y too tin y chest; then could I fe e l the lies o f w hat they were te llin g me.

The message being th a t I was inadequate a lo n e , worse, th a t we were lost together; th a t to be com plete I had to have a n o th e rnot the same, b u t com plem entary; lies in w h ich every innocence is made a g u ilt , stories o f m a ke -b e lie ve castles and the u n fa irie d princess a ll to get me w o rkin g in lin e b u t they never to ld me w hat to do when my w orld caved in .

So amidst piles o f rubble and crap , I composed o f decay my own fa iry ta le .

But this one w ith a tw in k le and a gleam th a t comes from a so u la s p irit th a t knows once we come together to lose ourselves th a t we become as the p la n t bre a kin g through crusted s o il, a crocus in the spring come to te ll us anew th a t we have another try at p u ttin g together the pieces o f this c le a r b lu e nothingness w hich in its a ll becomes the contentm ent the crocus needs to come up again this spring.

O llie

6

C IT Y Lee M in tz So I 1m liv in g in San F ra n cisco , my f if t h w in te r in th a t ever ch a n ging c y c le o f the c it y to c o u n try , o f the land to co n c re te syndrom e.

G ro w in g up in the urban M id w e s t, I had never re a lly e xperienced the c o u n try b e fo re . I t was never my pa­ rents' in c lin a tio n to show us w h a t rura l lif e was lik e .

The closest I g o t to i t was summer camp when I was n ine and te n . O h , there was the c o u n try a ll aro u n d , b u t I was so entrenched in group a c t iv it y , group c o m p e titio n , group ritu a ls and group d is c ip lin e th a t I h a rd ly n o tice d much e ls e . So I grew up in suburbia ig n o ra n t o f the w o rld o f streams, woods, and meadows.

When I w e n t away to s ch o o l, I d id g e t an in k lin g o f my lo ve o f trees and flo w e rs from e x p lo rin g parks and fie ld s w h ile trip p in g on p s ych e de lics. LSD opened up a w h o le new w o rld o f the mysteries and be a uty o f n a tu re .

Trees, e s p e c ia lly , bro u g h t me co m fo rt and helped me e xp lo re m yself in my s o litu d e . But the parks were lim ­ it in g , and I was aware o f th e urbanism surrounding th e m .

I ' l l never fo rg e t the fir s t tim e I e xperienced the c o u n tr y .

I had been liv in g in N e w Y o rk C ity fo r ab o ut a y e a r.

Then the c it y was teem ing w ith e x cite m e n t and fresh­ ness. I was re a lly getting o ff on the vib ra tio n s and m u ltis tim u li o f a ll the a c tiv ity and decadence o f the largest c it y I'd ever seen. A t th e same tim e , h o w ever, summer was a p p ro a c h in g , and I was q u ite open to a lte r ­ natives to escape the outrageous heat th a t engulfs the c it y . So, when my b ro th e r in v ite d me up to a house a man he had met and others were re n tin g in th e C a ts k ills , I was o v e rjo y e d .

COUNTRY Three hours la te r I was in the m ountains. A w hole new w o rld opened up to me. There was a large house sur­ rounded by meadows, woods, streams, a la k e , d a isie s, goldenrods, ferns, and m ountains! M illin g in and o u t o f the house were a bout tw e n ty freaks Of was, a fte r a ll, 1970), gay and s tra ig h t, c lo th e d and n a ke d, a ll p la y in g and g e ttin g h igh under the open s k y . I was o v e r­ w helm ed! T hat summer I f e ll in lo ve w ith th e m agic o f nature and spent most o f i t g e ttin g to know a new p a rt o f m yself th a t so connected w ith i t . B ut, a la s, fa ll ap ­ proached, and i t was tim e to go b a ck to the c it y . M any o f us were students and teachers, and the school year o f S eptem ber-June d ic ta te d the structure o f one's lif e .

I was in v o lv e d w ith a man a t the tim e and had th e d e ­ sire to liv e w ith him in the c i t y — a lo v e r t r ip I had never e xperienced b e fo re . So theSveekends were releg a te d to co u n try liv in g w h ich o fte n became a hassle due to tim e and d is ta n c e .

D u rin g the fa ll the bliss o f our fantasy c o u n try w o rld was invaded by the pigs in a mammoth drug bust o f the three h ip p ie communes in to w n . A lth o u g h we were p re tty good a bout re m a in in g h igh th ro u g h o u t the o rd e a l, a new w ave o f paranoia and d is illu s io n m e n t seeped in . F ifty ajrests and $2000 la te r, we found a new home fo r w e e k­ end retreats in a n o th e r tow n in the low er C a ts k ills .

As w in te r appro a ch e d , h o w e ve r, my com m itm ent to my c ity lif e and lo v e r g re w . I was w o rk in g in an o ffic e and liv in g in an apartm ent in the V illa g e . I thought o f the c o u n try , b u t my p rio ritie s a t the tim e were c le a r both fin a n c ia lly and e m o tio n a lly . N e w Y o rk C ity s t ill had a charm and e x cite m e n t to e xp lo re as w e ll as the dynam ics o f liv in g in a q u a in t a partm ent w ith a lo v e r.

As summer approached a g a in , th o ug h , I found m yself

7

w a n tin g to e x p e rie n c e th e open c o u n try . The c ity g lo w was g e ttin g sta le and trip p in g on the streets o f N e w Y o rk o r the fie ld s o f C e n tra l Park was not eno ug h . But be­ cause o f fin a n c ia l and o th e r te c h n ic a litie s , I co u ld o n ly spend lim ite d amounts o f tim e u p sta te . That summer was spent bo ck and fo rth betw een the tw o r e a litie s . The times u p sta te , h o w e ve r, were g lo rio u s and r e v ita liz in g , and my c o n n e c tio n w ith i t was re in fo rc e d . A t this p o in t, it s t ill seemed lik e a v a c a tio n from th e c it y , my “ re a l" lif e .

M y fe e lin g s fo r communal liv in g were also gro w ing as I was g e ttin g closer to the people w ith whom I was spending my c o u n try e xcursions. We a ll f e lt i t was tim e to liv e to g eth e r on a f u ll- tim e basis. A nd w ith f a ll, ag a in came the c ity /s c h o o l/w o r k com m itm ents, so we d e ­ c id e d to ren t a large house on Staten Isla n d . There were fo u rte e n o f us, s t ill gay and s tra ig h t. O u r co u n try home became more o f a hassle to k e e p . Short weekend trips seemed less d e s ira b le , and we gave up our co u n try oasis.

A t the same tim e , our c ity needs were g e ttin g stim u­ la te d . I was becom ing more and more p o lit ic a lly aware and a c tiv e . I f e lt the c ity was the p la ce to be fo r social change and re v o lu tio n . There were many gay ta lk s /p la n s / groups. I t was tim e to educate the heterosexual masses and dem onstrate against our oppression. G u ilt trips and such w ent down about the c o u n try as escape from our struggles to say n o th in g o f classist p riv ile g e . As our G ay consciousness g re w , so d id our a lie n a tio n from our tra ig h t communards. M uch came o u t th a t w in te r about support and the s p lit in our house came to a head. It was a w in te r fo r tremendous grow th and strength as w e ll as shattered illu s io n s about liv in g to g e th e r. O u r gay separatism and dream fo r a gay com m unity g re w .

A nd a g a in , as Spring approached, we a ll became very anxious a bout a summer c ity escape. The straig h t people moved o u t, and fo r the firs t tim e we were a gay com m une, our loves and ties to each o th e r stronger than e v e r. But we had no co u n try home, and our p o litic a l g u ilt succumbed to o u r personal needs as we fr a n tic a lly searched fo r a summer oasis. We a ll f e lt ready to make a deeper com m itm ent to each o th e r and the th o ug h t o f re n tin g a house again seemed w a s te fu l. F in a n c ia lly , as a g ro u p , we co u ld be open to b u y in g . We had one im ­ p o rta n t c r ite r io n — to be near enough to some sort o f gay com m unity or a c t iv it y . The o n ly places lik e th a t near

N o t h a vin g a house w ith a ll the conveniences o f e le c t r ic ity , run n in g w a te r, lig h ts , h e a t, stereo, te le ­ phone, e t c . , e t c . , e tc . put me in touch w ith the land as I hod never been b e fo re . A co u n try house seemed lik e c ity lif e to me in com parison. We a ll set up tents and a k itc h e n and liv e d under the sky (and I must say the most disastrous w e ather c o n d itio n s N e w Y o rk must have e x ­ perienced in 50 y e a rs !). But our v u ln e ra b ility was both a curse and an a d ve n tu re . I was liv in g in a dream as I p icke d spearm int leaves fo r m orning te a , sang songs w ith my fa m ily around the c a m p fire , huddled under a tarp d u rin g one o f the many to rre n tia l rains try in g to keep m yself warm and my s p irit h ig h , g o in g ba ck to my te n t a t n ig h t frig h te n e d o f boogey men and m unching on my c h o c o la te stash as I craw le d in to my sleeping bag p ra yin g my a ir mattress w ould hold the n ig h t.

We de cid e d to w a it u n til next summer to b u ild as i t seemed im p o rta n t to fe e l out the land fir s t . We got a to o l shed up as a s ta rt.

Days w ould pass when I w o u ld n 't see anyone I d id n 't liv e w ith . I had very a m b iv a le n t fe e lin g s to the is o la ­ tio n . M y sexual d riv e was ve ry low th a t summer w ith o u t the constant sexual s tim u li and tension the c ity b rin g s.

I f e lt ca lm and a ble to put my energy in to o th e r areas.

We w ould shop in Ith a ca w here we w ould also run to for co m fo rt from the rains and the c o ld . Each o f us had d if ­ fe re n t needs fo r shelter and fo r outside s tim u li.

As tim e passed, the need fo r c o n ta c tin g o th e r gay people g re w . There were endless trips to tow n try in g to co n n e ct w ith the gay com m unity th e re . But b e in g sum­ mer in a c o lle g e to w n , i t was d if f ic u lt . A fte r liv in g in one fo r fo u r years ba ck in M ic h ig a n , I d id n 't fe e l too p o s itiv e about the s itu a tio n a n yh ow .

A lth o u g h i t was an u n fo rg e tta b le e x p e rie n c e , by the end o f summer I yearned fo r a house once ag a in w here I co u ld fe e l p ro te c te d . The unusual amount o f ra in and ru ra l settings are c o lle g e tow ns. c o ld seeped in to my bones and e v e n tu a lly o u tw eighed We came across the o p p o rtu n ity to buy a sixteen acre how fa r o u t liv in g on the land f e lt . D isillu s io n e d w ith s trip on the side o f a h ill a co u p le o f hundred miles from gay lif e in to w n , my needs fo r o utside s tim u li and i n t i­ N e w Y o rk and tw e n ty minutes from Ith a c a , a c o lle g e mate re latio n sh ip s w ith new men in crea se d . So b a ck to to w n . I had a house in mind as cam ping somehow seemed Staten Island and gay p o litic s and dances and m eeting less a p p e a lin g . But there were great plans for b u ild in g new people and stru g g lin g w ith each o th e r. a dom e, and the land was luscious w ith a pond and a gorgeous v ie w o f the sunset, r e la tiv e ly se cluded, and fin a n c ia lly w ith in our means. So we su b le t the house, put a down paym ent on the la n d , and began an in c re d ­ ib le summer e x p e rie n c e .

ft

Three o f the group hod hod it w ith N e w Y o rk C ity and decided to ren t an apartm ent in Ith o co fo r the w in te r.

For the firs t tim e , the idea o f liv in g away from the c ity h it home. But the r e a lity o f i t fo r me was ve ry a lie n . I was g e ttin g as much from the c ity as e ve r, my lif e tie d to i t in a m illio n places. I had a fe w a ffa irs and learned a lo t about my em otional patterns in love relatio n sh ip s.

It was a w in te r o f hard times in our house, many struggles! re v o lv in g around the sexual p o litic s o f women and men liv in g to g e th e r. A nd w ith summer a p p ro a ch in g , came a re b irth in plans fo r our land.

We then heard about a piece o f land on the o ther side o f Ithaca th a t had to be sold im m e d ia te ly . I t was fiv e times larger and more lush and v a rie d , fin a n c ia lly fig u r ­ ing to h a lf as much an a c re . We w ould have 100 a cre ^ and 100 a d jo in in g acres would be bought by friends, mostly g a y , where a ca b in a lrea d y stood. The land is outrageous w ith apple orchards, b erries, meadows, pine forests, h ills , and streams. In a fra n tic w eek, the money was scraped up, and s e llin g the o th er la n d , we bought i t . The e xcite m e n t was o v e rw h e lm in g . There was c o n ­ structio n and a rc h ite c tu ra l know ledge on hand and plans fo r a two story house began. For the firs t tim e , the fe e lin g o f long term s ta b ility h it me w ith simultaneous fe e lin g s o f excite m e n t and fr ig h t. A physical co m m it­ ment to in te n s ify our already strong em otional co m m it­ m ent.

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Leaving the c ity th a t summer ( it had become ro u tin e by then) was d iffe re n t. I knew I'd be back in the fa ll as I was not ready to com m it m yself to fu ll- tim e country liv in g , b u t a t the same tim e in the back o f my head I w ondered, "W ould this be the last tim e ? " So, we rented a fiv e bedroom apartm ent in to w n , and between us and vis ito rs , the number reached tw e n ty . W e'd commute to the land d a ily , b u ild and play and return to to w n . Some set up tents and camped o u t a t tim es. Most o f us fe lt th a t a fte r a lo n g , hard day b u ild in g , a shower and warm bed were d e s ira b le . It was strange th a t summer to re ­ la te to the land as a w ork area, alm ost a jo b . This was so because w ork on the house was the p rio rity w h ile we were th e re , so fo r co m fo rt and p la y , we would come "h o m e ".

The idea o f b u ild in g our own house was intense and easy to ro m a n tic iz e (which I tend to do c o n s ta n tly ).

Physical labor had never appealed to me on any le v e l.

Nonetheless, b u ild in g the house was a t r ip . As the floors and w a lls w ent up, the mysteries o f construction fiz z le d . The excite m e n t o f e ig h t or ten people lif t in g a w a ll was to ta lly u n iq u e . To know where each p iece o f wood came from in a house I would liv e in re a lly turned me o n . I d id n 't th in k we could re a lly do i t , b u t by Labor Day the shell was fin is h e d , and we moved in .

The ro o fin g shingles, in s u la tio n , and such could be done la te r.

M any things came o u t th a t summer co n cerning d iffe r ­ ences in work energy . We hod never undertaken such a huge p ro je c t as a group b e fore , e sp e cia lly one re ­ q u irin g so much physical e nergy—something none o f us were fond o f. And w ith it came in tim id a tio n le ading to g u ilt from not w o rkin g enough, resentment from w o rking too much, g u ilt fo r fe e lin g re se n tfu l, resentment for fe e lin g g u ilty — you name i t . The unique s itu a tio n taught us much about each o ther and ourselves.

O ur apartm ent in town had been a cause o f great frus­ tra tio n fo r me. For a ll p ra c tic a l purposes, i t was a crash pod a situ a tio n I no longer fe lt co m fo rta ble in .

To camp on the land w ould have been great fo r me i f I could have gotten it together to do i t . I f e lt closed ir> and the need to get away overwhelm ed me. So, as I was re tu rn in g to the c ity shortly anyw ay, when the op ­ p o rtu n ity to get a rid e to San Francisco came up fiv e days a fte r our September move to the la n d , I took i t and stayed a m onth.

The need to get away alone was stronger than my need to explore the fe e lin g o f liv in g in our s e lf- b u ilt home.

There w ould be p le n ty o f tim e fo r th a t (not th a t I d id n 't spend days o f in d e cisio n about it ) . I got a lo t o u t o f being a w a y— it f e lt im portant to explore my indepen­ dence from the group and my N ew Y ork lif e .

When I returned to Staten Island, I found new joy in liv in g in our house, and i t f e lt good to be somewhere I knew so w e ll. A fe w stayed up on the land g e ttin g the house together fo r the w in te r. The roo f was fin ish e d , a w e ll put in , in s u la tio n , a coal stove, a kitch e n w ith a gas stove, and gas lig h ts were set up.

I learned much about my needs last w in te r. I stayed home a lo t and fe lt less connected to N e w Y o rk C ity than I ever had b e fo re . I f e lt ve ry a lie n a te d from the faggot scene and found m yself co n stan tly surrounded by Lesbians I was close to . I ha rd ly used the c ity a t a ll for things I had in the past. A lth o u g h co m fo rta ble at home, I questioned whether the o ld g lo w o f N e w Y ork would ever rise again over w hat now seemed dismal and em pty.

I thought o fte n o f i t be in g my last year there and made vague decisions in my head to move upstate " fo r g o o d ".

The house would be co m fo rta ble by spring, and the land was more than I co u ld ever have dreamed fo r.

9

10

O ne th in g , though, s t ill ke p t gnaw ing at me: co u ld I be Happy there w ith o u t a lo v e r? The fe e lin g o f that kin d o f is o la tio n frig h te n e d me, y e t the c ity d id n 't seem to p ro vid e any s a tis fa c tio n in th a t area e ith e r. M y sex­ ual d riv e f e lt lo w , b u t my rom antic em otional needs were s t ill p re tty strong. I f e lt th a t the o n ly way to deal w ith th a t dynam ic was to w ork on lessening the need, rather than p u ttin g m yself somewhere where the need could most lik e ly be met (wherever th a t is ! ) . It was a w in te r o f much confusion and in n e r searching, b u t I came o u t o f i t w ith a strong desire to move away " fo r g o o d ". M y d e cisio n p a ra lle le d the others in the house, and we d e ­ cid e d to g iv e up o ur home o f three years. So, in M a y , we packed up and moved upstate to our new home— Lavender H i l l .

The garden was w e ll under w a y, and there was much w ork to be d o n e . I t is q u ite a d iffe re n t experience w o rk in g on a house y o u 're liv in g in than one you co m nxjrte to . I f e lt good and high there and used th a t energy to w ork on the house. A ny low o r fru stra tio n I fe lt was re d ire c te d p o s itiv e ly to b u ild in g . I worked hard on the fro n t po rch , b a lc o n y , and sid in g re a lly e n |o yin g i t a l l .

I t was ve ry sa tis fy in g to see ta n g ib le co n stru ctive pro ­ gress. I t f e lt im p orta n t to be le a rn in g new s k ills that had alw ays so in tim id a te d me as a fa g g o t.

As the days grew shorter ar*d the nights lo n g e r, I b e gan to fe e l more restless than e ve r, and Hie fe a r o f stagnation cre p t in . These fe e lin g s w e re, how ever, in ­ terspersed w ith many h ig h , warm ties o f togetherness.

A lth o u g h my com m itm ent to the co u n try had grown over the years, I was n o t ready to com bat the b itte r w in te r c o m in g . This put me through g u ilt trips about fa ilu re to liv e up to my new "c o u n try b o y" im a ge . I had set up this personal im a g e /e x p e c ta tio n o f m oving to the land and th a t, com bined w ith the p o s itiv e va lu e many put on rural endurance (it was more far o u t), made the w hole schism g u ilt- r id d e n . M y problem was not my c ity fe e l­ ings, b u t rather my co u n try e xp e cta tio n s.

So, escape from w in te r com bined w ith my grow ing need fo r so litu d e and independence drew me to Hie c ity once m ore. Before I le ft around T ha n ksg ivin g , I chose a site near the house to b u ild a y u rt (a perm anent m u ffin lik e structu re ) so th a t I co u ld fin d the bala n ce I need be­ tween communal liv in g and independence. But N e w Y o rk C ity was not the p la ce I wanted to b e . I had been th in k in g o f San Francisco fo r a few months, and the thought o f liv in g there e x c ite d me.

So, six o f us came here from Lavender H ill fo r v a ryin g amounts o f tim e this w in te r, a ll liv in g in d iffe re n t parts o f the Bay A re a . And I fin d th a t I re a lly need the c ity I b u ilt a w ik i-u p (arched saplings covered w ith plas­ rig h t now, and San Francisco seems lik e a w h o le , fresh t ic ) in the woods and p lanted a huge flo w e r garden by | new area to e x p lo re . I'm ta k in g classes and le a rn in g i t . The flow ers w ere lik e my c h ild re n , and great amounts things th a t I can take back w ith me in the S p rin g . I o f energy w ent to c a rin g fo r th e m . I was fe e lin g a tre ­ en jo y the independence o f liv in g a lo n e (something I mendous need for so litud e, and my structure became have ra re ly done) and stru ctu rin g my tim e so le ly a cco rd ­ very im portant to m e. ing to my needs. I t feels good now not to have n ig h t Lavender H ill was g ro w ing to o . Structures w ent up on tim e so lim itin g , and constant new s tim u li to exam ine land— people find in g niches o f space to be alone to e x ­ and fe e l. press them selves. A fro n t yard formed w ith flo w e r g a r­ dens surrounding it — w e re a lly got in to flo w e r p la n n in g . and p la n tin g . Siding w ent up fu rth e r fin is h in g the house.i A pond was dug, and a gas re frig e ra to r b o u g h t. And endless upon endless p a rty in g and feasting and lo v in g .

W e w ere also slow ly becom ing in co rp o ra ted in to the Ithaca gay scene.

I fe lt strong as I exp lo re d my fe e lin g s o f c e lib a c y , my sexual energy and desire to be in vo lve d in a lo ve re la ­ tionship being lo w . I used th a t energy to fe e l co m plete w ith m yself. A fte r a fe w months though, I began to fe e l restless again and wanted to g e t a w a y . I decided to go to M o n tre al, a place I had n e v e r been and knew lit t le abo ut. I spent a wonderful w eek there and enjoyed spending the tim e a lo n e . I enjoyed m eeting new , in ­ teresting people as w e ll. But a fte r about ten days, I missed the land and fe lt lik e I wanted to return to La­ vender H ill.

But i t o n ly feels good here kn ow ing w hat I have back And the fa ll was b e a u tifu l w ith its m a g n ifice n t c o lo rs. ' on Lavender H i l l . T hat se cu rity keeps me g o in g . I won­ But as the days grew c o ld e r, I had to move in to the der i f I ' l l ever merge the s p lit betw een my c ity needs house and cbandon my personal space u n til the next sum­ and co u n try needs. As long as I'm a b le to do i t , maybe m er. Seeing the flow ers d ie was p a rtic u la rly sad.

I w o n 't have to . M aybe a ll my needs c a n 't be expected Although th e n u n b e r o f v isito rs decreased, I o fte n to be met in one p la c e , or is my c ity searching f u t ile b e ­ fe lt closed in and frustrated a t not h a vin g my own space. cause my restlessness must be d e a lt w ith from w ith in ?

I t is also hard to g e t away when there are no w a lls or Can the tw o worlds be in te g ra te d in to a life s ty le , o r is doors, just fa b ric s over studs separating the rooms. i t a ll too s c h iz o id ? I guess o n ly tim e w ill t e ll.

LL

LEA TH ER I f 1 co u ld have i t my w a y , I'd take me to a glade and beseech the gods to send me a b u ll/b e a r /b u c k fo r om en.

I'd stand naked in the g la d e , under a long s tra ig h t cape and I'd w a it.

Then the b u ll/b e a r /b u c k w ould com e, the moon in its horns or dew on its fu r, o r m istle to e in its antlers lik e a w a lk in g sacred o a k .

And i t w ould w a lk rig h t up to me and lo o k me in th e eyes and when I looked b a c k , I'd know i t was sa yin g , " I 'm re a d y ."

I w ould le t my cape s lid e s ile n t down and k n e e lin g or be n ding or tu rn in g around I'd take th a t beast a ll the w ay in — up my ass to my th ro a t i f i t mode him fe e l good— and he 'd sta rt o u t s lo w ly , s lip p in g i t in m aking h im s e lf a t home, fe e lin g things o u t and he 'd s lo w ly g e t faster faster and harder and h e 'd pump i t r ig h t in th e re , up to the h ilt and h e 'd sta rt p a n tin g now and h e 'd w o rk up a la th e r o f b e a r- b u ll - o r buck sweat and ram i t home h a rd .

I'd know when he started to s q u irt up my ass.

When he d id , I w o uld k i l l h im .

I'd s lit his b rig h t th ro a t fe e l the warm liq u id tr ic k le fe e l the warm liq u id geyser fe e l warmth on my body fe e l h eat up my ass.

H e'd rid e me and fu c k me t i l l death d id us partthen he 'd stum ble, r o ll eyes back and g iv e his soul, a happy b e a r /b u c k /b u ll, and s t ill in my h o ld .

I'd s lip o f f and m ingle his blood w ith my own and w rite m agick symbols (a p entacled sator) and then w ith my atham e w ith lo ve and w ith c a re , perhaps tears o f thanks, I'd open his fle s h .

The birds w ould come down and lin e up in order fo r liv e r and e ye b a lls, fo r testes and h e a rt.

Then I w ould s lit him from c h in - t ip to t a il, and from fro n t fo o t to fro n t fo o t and lik e w is e in b a c k .

I'd c a re fu lly , s o ftly then peel o ff his s k in .

I'd ca rve o u t an oak stump and f i l l i t w ith w a te r and leave i t to soak fo r a w eek and a d a y .

The meat I w ould b u tch e r; the bones I w o uld save w ith horns claw s o r hooves fo r special events.

The brains I would ru b , when the soaking was d o n e, on the under skin side, then I'd scrape o ff the h a ir and hammer and chew t i l l the le a th e r was s o ft.

I f I dyed i t , I'd c o lo r i t ric h ea rth y b ro w n , the c o lo r o f p e o p le , o f d ir t , wood and s h it.

I'd make me a ja c k e t and one p a ir o f pants th a t f i t hard and tig h t, w ith a fu rry pouched c o d .

I'd f i t them w ith bone and w ith h o rn /h o o f/c la w je w e ls, and then when I'd pass yo u on the streets o r in th e bars, yo u 'd turn and y o u 'd stare and y o u 'd ponder my gam e.

(Ask Sebastian or R ic to r; there are those who k n o w .)

But y o u 're not among them ; so yo u ’ d stare and yo u 'd w o n d e r.

And sooner or la te r, one b ra ve r than most would w a lk up and say, "c a n I buy you a d rin k ? " A n d , " O h , by the w a y, w h a t skins do you w e a r? " And ta k in g my tim e , I'd f ix you a stare and p u ll y o u r ear close by a fis tfu l o f h a ir and my fu rry-p o u ch e d c ro tc h w ould tic k le yo u r p ric k when I w hispered, " O h , this th in g ? It's just an o ld t r ic k . " — Jason Q u ic k s ilv e r

11

WHEN T H E Q ^ S i..

The crash o f course has co m e . We are be in g hurled about by the d y in g tw itc h e s o f the dinosaur's t a i l . I remember re o d in g , as a s ch o o lb oy, th a t i f yo u d e c a p i­ ta te a fe e d in g c a te rp illa r , d o n 't try i t please, the head goes on e a tin g fo r some tim e unaware th a t i t is d e a d.

T hat is w here the te c h n o lo g ic a l econom ic colossus is to d a y . I remember th in k in g a fte r 5 0 0 ,0 0 0 o f us peace people had marched in Boston in 1969, th a t the State w o uld be n e ith e r moved nor shaken b u t when the e con­ omic cost o f endless m ilita ris m was brought home to the workers in c lu d in g the workers who beat us up in d o w n ­ town N e w Y o rk and elsewhere th a t the State w ould be moved and shaken. The A m e rican Dream fa ile d to pay o f f and those who have g ive n th e ir life tim e s in pursuit o f i t w ill e xp e rie n ce the anger and bitterness th a t the oppressed have f e lt t i l l now , w h ich is by no means to say th a t there w ill be any increase o f em pathy for such as you and me. So w h a t does a fa g g o t d o ? The w e a k­ ness o f G a y L ib e ra tio n , as a movem ent, was th a t many in i t wanted to change the laws and to have job se cu rity and be respected as people in th e ir d a ily lives w ith o u t re a liz in g th a t the system must be changed and was c o l­ lapsing a n y w a y . W e ll, many o f these people w ill soon be lib e ra te d from th e ir concern w ith jobs, so w hat w ill they d o ? M y personal so lu tio n was to spend the last two years m arching in the streets, fo r G ay L ib e ra tio n now instead o f Peace and te llin g everybody in sig h t " I 'm G ay."

A year ago I founded the Pittsburgh G ay Theater w h ich was, and is, a G ay re v o lu tio n a ry a n a rch ist n o n v io le n t th e a te r. R e vo lu tio n means the end o f v io le n c e . Change the v io le n c e in to r e v o lu tio n . This was our message. know th a t this th e ate r helped raise the le ve l o f G ay

I

consciousness in Pittsburgh and has helped to b rin g peo­ p le o u t b u t vve have n o t y e t brought our message to the p e o p le . Perhaps we c a n 't and perhaps there w ill be no need to . The message is w ritte n on the sky. L a tely I have th o ug h t more and more about G a y communes and rura l c o lle c tiv e s , e s p e c ia lly o f the idea o f form ing G ay a g ric u ltu ra l c o o p e ra tiv e v illa g e s w here crops co u ld be grow n, lif e liv e d and even c h ild re n looked a fte r. But there is a Buddhist typ e o f problem : does one seek a

personal n irvan a or plunge o neself where the su ffe rin g is deepest? It is a personal c h o ic e and one th a t events w ill make for many o f us. We are fo rtu n a te in such times in h a vin g our G ay consciousness. We a re , or should be, a lrea d y beyond the major hangups o f male ch auvinism and G ay c r itic s have been fo rth rig h t in p o in tin g o u t th a t M arxism and the N e w Left re ly h e a v ily on s tra ig h t male dom inance and the d e ific a tio n o f the nu cle a r fa m ily . We have no reason to be hungup on the 9 to 5 jo b , the suburban home and the tw o -c a r garage or even a car o f any k in d . M any Gays seem to be in ­ cre a sin g ly ab n eg a tin g the idea o f one day s e ttlin g down to liv e h a p p ily ever a fte r w ith one's p e rfe ct lo v e r: some­ how th a t whole idea seems to have a genesis in the ca ­ p ita lis t dream somewhere. M ost o f us have acquired a considerable measure o f independence, and we have learned to c ritiq u e ourselves and so cie ty in a way in w hich I b e lie v e the heterosexual man has not had to fa c e .

We must use these a b ilitie s in the best way we can in accordance w ith our in d iv id u a l consciousness.

A t a tim e when M other Earth News is a d visin g its readers to hole up w ith the w ife and kiddies in the co u n try somewhere w ith a year's supply o f food ( a v a il­ able from th e ir advertisers a t $525 per person) and re ­ pel a ll comers w ith a shotgun, some sanity w ill be needed. We d o n 't have to be "as good as" stra ig h t people or "b e tte r" than s tra ig h t people; we just have to be ourselves and a cce p t n o thing less than th a t r ig h t.

We must be b ro th e rly to our G ay Brothers and Sisters, and we must try to be b ro th e rly to our stra ig h t brothers and sisters, to o . In many ways, th e ir oppression is worse than ours as they are o n ly just b e g in n in g to d is­ cover th a t they are indeed oppressed. Most im portant o f a ll, as society begins to reco n stru ct its e lf we must be th e re . We ca n n ot c lin g to the c o a tta ils o f S o c ia l­ ism or M arxism or any o ther -ism in return for the pro­ mise o f a good d e a l. We w ill o n ly be cheated and d is ­ a p p o in te d . We must stand on our own two fe e t and d ic ta te our own terms. In the m eantim e, w hether on the farm or in the soupline may our consciousness co n ­ tin u e to be raised and may a hundred flow ers bloom .

John Upson R .D . 2 Pottstown, PA

19464

13

TW O TAIJB5 OK NEW SODOM SOME OF JW BESTFR1ENJS ARECEDAR TREES I'm w ritin g this from my room in our f la t in "th e H a ig h t." W e 've been liv in g here in San Francisco for about a month and, at this p o in t, have fu lly adjusted to b ig - c ity liv in g (except fo r a fe w new n e g a tive insights and awarenesses about c itie s th a t c o n ta c t w : th the coun­ try has g iv e n us— or me, since I b e lie v e A rth u r has had these awarenesses fo r a long tim e ). I'm just b e g in n in g to re a lly e njoy liv in g in San Francisco and to fe e l my s e n s e -o f-s e lf re tu rn in g a fte r spending o ve r two years in S e a ttle w h ic h is c u ltu r a lly an in c re d ib le w asteland.

A c t u a lly , this is our second stay in San F rancisco.

We came o u t here alm ost three years ago when we aban­ doned N e w Y o rk for w h a t, o u t o f ig n o ra n ce , we thought was the prim e va l w ilderness o f C a lifo r n ia . We q u ic k ly learned th a t this w asn't go in g to be the p lace and set o ff on a jo u rn e y through B ritish C olum bia and A la ska in search o f la n d . A fte r a to ta l o f three months and w ith d w in d lin g cash, we plopped sown in S e a ttle and soon se ttle d in to 9 -5 id io t o ffic e jobs w ith the hopes o f a c ­ c u m u la tin g enough cash to go land h u n ting again and to buy a p ie c e o f land o u trig h t (we d id n 't w ant any m ort­ gages because we d id n 't w ant to spend the rest o f our liv e s as enslaved em ployees). So we worked and worked and stashed e v e ry th in g a w a y.

A fte r about a year we met another G ay man named Bob, who was interested in our ideas about b u yin g land and form ing an a ll- G a y c o m m u n ity. Together we formed a p a rtnership ca l led "The W ierd Sisters Partnership" w ith c o n tra c t and a l l . When summer cam e, we w e n t land h u n tin g in northeastern W ashington, and by September we found ourselves, by v irtu e o f our membership in the W e ird Sisters, the owners o f fo rty acres o f forest land — to ta l cost $5400 cash on the lin e . N o w the name "N e w Sodom" had som ething co n cre te to be attached to . W ith deed in hand, we s e ttle d back fo r the w in te r in to the z o m b ie -lik e existe n ce S e a ttle had to o ffe r us.

Sometime at the b e g in n in g o f the fo llo w in g June and a fte r q u ittin g our jo b , A rth u r and I packed up our VW and drove o u t to N e w Sodom w ith the in te n tio n o f spend­ in g the e n tire summer th e re . Bob rem ained a t his job in the c it y , his in te re s t in the land h a vin g d w in d le d co n ­ s id e ra b ly .

1H

In retro sp e ct, I c a n 't h e lp b u t have re a lly good fe e l­ ings about N e w Sodom, and I'm aware o f a g ro w ing sense o f se cu rity a t the th o ug h t o f h a vin g th a t land o u t there to go to . The life s ty le o f co m p le te dependence on " th e system" th a t c itie s o ffe r is w hat makes me fe e l th is about the la n d . I fe e l ve ry v u ln e ra b le h e re . I th in k this is because e v e ry th in g th a t I'v e ever known and been ta u gh t to trust or take fo r granted in my u p b rin g in g as a c h ild o f the c it y I can now see c ru m b lin g in to dust a ll around

The tim e I spent at N e w Sodom was very h ard, and I rem ained ve ry a lo o f from the land for alm ost my e n tire stay o f two and a h a lf months (A rth u r stayed fo r three and a h a lf months— I fle d back to N e w Y o rk in A u g u st).

I refused to extend m yself to the land a t a ll, mostly b e ­ cause I was very frig h te n e d by i t . It was a ll c o m p le te ly fo re ig n to me ( i t w a sn 't lik e any b u n galow co lo n y I ever s a w !), and a fte r spending the last two years in drudgery in S e a ttle , I had n e ith e r the strength nor the desire to adjust to som ething so r a d ic a lly new . I f e lt I needed a break from la b o rin g , and a ll I co u ld see in N e w Sodom was labor o f the hardest kin d I'd ever e n co un te re d.

D ig g in g s h it-h o le s , c o o kin g on a tem peram ental s in g le ­ burner kerosene stove, fig h tin g o ff mosquitos, and just g e ttin g from one p la ce to another through overgrow n and unmarked forest was co m p le te ly o ve rw h e lm in g .

A fte r about a m onth, we h it on something th a t estab­ lished a ro u tin e fo r our days— the b u ild in g o f a log tool shed. W ith Bradford A n g ie r's How To B u ild Y our Home in the Woods in hand, we set to w o rk . (This book has many fa u lts , as we la te r d isco ve re d . The a ll- t im e best book w e 'v e discovered is a lit t le known pam phlet c a lle d B u ild in g W ith Logs, a v a ila b le at the Shorey Bookstore, 815 T hird A v e . , S e a ttle , W A 98104, i t costs $ 2 .5 0 .)

Each d a y , w e 'd c o lle c t lo g s--m o stly fa lle n ones th a t re ­ mained o ff the ground and so seasoned w ith o u t r o ttin g — peel them , notch them , and n a il them in p la c e . The shed was to be about seven fe e t by e ig h t fe e t, and we averaged about two layers o f logs each d a y . O u r w ork day was p rim a rily determ ined by the sun, b u t I thought i t in te re stin g to note th a t most o f the w ork on the shed was done betw een 9 a .m . and 5 p .m . N o d o u bt th is was the result o f c o n d itio n in g by school and la te r by our form er jobs. By the tim e I le f t fo r N e w Y o rk , the w a lls and c e ilin g beams were p re tty much co m p le te d , and when I re tu rn e d , e x a c tly a month la te r, A rth u r hod c u t o u t and framed the doorw ay and la id down the cedar poles fo r the ro o f and flo o r.

O u r fin a l two weeks on the land (before we expected the A utum n rains to b e g in ) were spent la y in g ta r paper o ver the ro o f and flo o r, and f illin g the s iza b le cracks betw een logs w ith c e m e n t. We wasted a t least f if t y pounds o f cem ent b efore we were a b le to master the pro ­ cess to the p o in t where the cem ent w ould stay in p lace and not fa ll through the c ra c k s . W ith the c h in k in g f in ­ ished, we w ent to the m ill in tow n and p icke d up some b e a u tifu l m ill-e n d s from the dump to b u ild the door w ith .

M ills waste an in c re d ib le amount o f usable w ood, most o f w h ich they feed in to those d e sp ica ble w igw am burners w h ich f i l l the b e a u tifu l co u n try a ir w ith brow n cru d , not to m ention the rep u lsive o d o r. M ills also u sually have a designated dum ping area where they stash unm arketable pieces o f m ille d wood c a lle d m ill—ends. D u rin g the course o f the summer, we saw one to o l shed b u ilt e n tire ly from mi 11-ends, and one lo d g e -size d log house, the u p ­ per le v e l o f w h ich was b u ilt o f m ill-e n d s . The door th a t we made from the wood we found a t the dump is in c re d ­ ib ly sturdy and tru ly b e a u tifu l— each pie ce h a vin g sea­ soned to a d iffe re n t c o lo r. Unseasoned, n e w ly m ille d pieces are also a v a ila b le at the dumps, and most m ills are more than happy to le t people c a rt away th e i r " r e ­ fu s e ," since i t means less w ork fo r them .

I remember September 14th as the day we secured the door in p la ce and so fin ish e d the shed. I rem err^er step­ p in g back and ta k in g it a ll in : a pathw ay w in d in g down the slope through the forest and op e ning in to the small c le a rin g just o ff o f w h ich stood the log structu re raised two fe e t o f f the ground on fo u r creosoted cedar posts, surrounded by darkness and the bare ebony trunks o f to w e rin g cedar and tam arack tree s. The firs t th in g th a t came in to my mind was L ittle Red R id in g Hood slip p in g through the forest and com ing across a lit t le c o tta g e in the deepest, darkest part o f the fo re st. It was a ll a tru ly e n ch a n tin g v is io n .

The n e xt (our last) day at N e w Sodom was spent p u tz ing around and ta k in g it easy. We d id a lit t le e x p lo rin g and discovered th a t the p la ce w here we had struggled through our firs t summer was a c tu a lly the darkest, c o ld ­ est, and w e tte st part o f the la n d , and th a t as lit t le as one hundred fe e t away it was c o m p le te ly d iffe re n t. We saw v e ry lit t le sun d u rin g the summer because o f the th ic k trees th a t shaded our cam psite, but just the o th er side o f the spring there were numerous cle a rin g s where the sun shone a ll d a y . You co u ld see the surrounding mountains to the west and north to Canada through the trees th a t sway a ll day in the m ountain breezes. We found this one spot th a t seemed to draw us to i t — a c le a r­ in g drenched in sun and backed by a lush fo re st, sloping u p h ill. Below i t we co u ld see the mountains through the trees, and around the c le a rin g stood three ta ll b irch e s, clusters o f bushy Douglas maples, and ta ll suc­ c u le n t grasses. We sat there fo r a fe w hours. I began to fe e l ve ry strong vibes from the p la c e — sexual vib e s.

It was the firs t tim e in my lif e I'd ever been aware o f fe e lin g e ro tic towards non-hum an b e in g s. The trees, the w in d , the b rig h t orange b u tte rflie s and birds w h ich I co u ld see g lid in g through the branches o ve rh e a d — e v e ry th in g started to take on a ve ry surreal q u a lity and seemed a liv e w ith the grace o f slo w -m o tio n pho to g ra p hy.

I smoked a jo in t, took o f f my c lo th e s , lay back on a lo g ,

and came a ll o ve r the p la c e — w elcom e to the site o f our new house.

It s ve ry easy to get in to euphoric visions on paper, e s p e c ia lly when w ritin g about things in re tro sp e ct. I know th a t my e xp e rie n ce o f th a t spot on N e w Sodom was very d e fin ite ly m agical and re a l, but I also remember the v iv id r e a lity o f the d if f ic u lt times to o . It a ll seems very d ista n t now th a t we are here in San F rancisco.

C ity liv in g is re a lly the o n ly lif e I'v e e ver knOwn, and despite a ll its draw backs, fa m ilia r ity w ith i t does g ive me a c e rta in sense o f id e n tity . I co u ld never say th a t I intend to spend the rest o f my lif e d o in g som ething w h ich I know alm ost n o thing about a t this p o in t. This is how I fe e l about liv in g a t N e w Sodom fu ll tim e . I ’ ve heard o f too many in cid e n ts w here people co m m it themselves b lin d ly to m oving o u t onto the land w ith o u t any real know ledge o f w here th e ir own heads are a t and h aving i t end u n s a tis fa c to rily and sometimes disastrously fo r the la n d .

O u r im m ediate plans in terms o f the land are to spend the next few summers on i t — as many summers as i t takes to get a cquainted w ith the land and to b u ild ourselves a log house. There is no rush on a n y th in g , w h ich I th in k is g ood. A fte r the house is b u ilt , I d o n 't re a lly know w hat w ill happen. A rth u r feels he w ould lik e to liv e up there fu ll tim e . I c a n 't say th a t th a t's w hat I'd lik e to do a t this p o in t, b u t I have th o ug h t about spending an e n tire seasons' c y c le up there and fe e lin g o u t what th a t's lik e .

I re a lly fe e l a sense o f c o n fid e n ce in the way w e 're both d e a lin g w ith the la n d , m ainly because I know it's a ll co m ing , not as a re su lt o f some sense o f o b lig a tio n or a ch ie ve m e n t, b u t from b e in g in touch w ith our own fe e lin g s and needs and our concern fo r the su rviva l and preservation o f the liv in g la n d . As long as we co n tin u e going about things in this w a y— seeing things in p er­ sp e ctive and not o v e r-e x te n d in g ourselves— I th in k the re la tio n s h ip th a t develops betw een the land and each o f us w ill be b e n e fic ia l to us a ll, in a d d itio n to be in g an in c re d ib ly m in d -b lo w in g e xp e rie n c e . i<f, •

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/ I

THINGS THAT 0 0 BUMP IN THE NIGHT Joy and I spent the las* sjm m er liv in g in te n ts, fo r th e re w ere as y e t no structures in N e w Sodom w h ic h consists o f fo rty acres o f dense forest land on the side o f a m o u n ta in , w ith no access e xce p t an o ld overgrow n Jeep tr a il th a t ends a t our boundary lin e .

D u rin g th e month of A jg u s t, Jay le ft N e w Sodom and w e n t b a ck to N e w Y o rk C ity to v is it his fa m ily and r e o c q u a in t h im s e lf w ith his b ig - c ity past. For a m onth— th iry - o n e long days— I w ould be alo n e in the deep s i­ le n c e , liv in g in the midst o f a d a rk cedar forest and surrounded by the d e e r, grouse, and bear whose t e r r i­ to ry we had in v a d e d .

I returned one day from shopping in the nearest tow n (seven m iles a w a y ), and was sta rtle d to see th a t several holes, large c la w - s iz e , had been torn in to the low er side o f the te n t, near the fro n t e n tra n ce . I had made the m istake o f le ttin g some c u t - o f f b ro c c o li stems in the te n t, wrapped in c e llo p h a n e . O f course, I knew th a t a ll o rg a n ic le fto v e rs must be returned im m e d ia te ly , or they w ould a ttra c t scavengers. But I had slip p e d up this tim e , and one o f the anim al people had come to v is it me w h ile I was g o n e. C ould i t have been a b e a r? I d id n 't kn o w , b u t I was alw ays in fe a r o f e n co u n te rin g a bear in N e w Sodom, since the berries and brush they e a t grow in profusion on our la n d , and th e ir sh it was scattered a ll o ve r the p la c e . The in c id e n t rem inded me o f how scared I re a lly was to be there a lo n e w ith o u t my b e lo ve d J a y .

I d id n 't know th a t a gre a te r scare was s t ill to com e.

There were alw ays strange anim al sounds in the n ig h t in N e w Sodom, b u t we had come to liv e w ith th e m . O ne o f the firs t was a loud "w hoosh, whoosh" noise (lik e some kin d o f g ia n t b lo w in g its nose), fo llo w e d by the heavy v ib ra tio n s o f m oving fe e t, w h ich we co u ld fe e l through the th in te n t flo o r. We subsequently discovered th a t deer were the source o f these, and we came to enjoy h e aring th e m . The deer were enormous and strong, brown a ll o v e r , e xce p t fo r th e ir long w h ite ta ils . O n c e , w h ile I was w o rk in g on sawing a lo g , I saw two or three o f them c a su a lly g ra z in g , not more than a hundred fe e t a w a y . They were g ra ce fu l and lo v e ly neighbors.

N o , i t w a sn 't the fa m ilia r deer sounds th a t was to g ive me one o f the greatest scares o f my lif e . The e ve n t h ap­ pened one n ig h t in th a t lo n e ly A u g u st. A fte r I had been asleep fo r a few hours, I was suddenly awakened by two lo u d , p ie rc in g , b lo o d -c u rd lin g screams th a t sounded lik e they came from about tw enty to th irty fe e t away from the te n t. I sat up w ith a b o lt. I co u ld fe e l every pore in my body o p e n .

The sweat was pouring down my body in

lit t le streams, m aking my down sle e p in g bag stic k y and w e t. M y G o d , I th o ug h t, w hat is i t ? I was a fra id it w o uld smell th a t I was a fra id .

I remembered a co n ve rsa tio n I had had a few days b e ­ fo re w ith a n eighbor who said bew are i f you ever hear w hat sounds lik e a woman scream ing, because it's a m ountain lio n . T hat's w h a t i t sounded lik e . The screams had a c a t - lik e h ue.

I was scared sh itle ss. Being fresh from the c it y , I had had alm ost no e xp e rie n ce ca m p in g , and here I was alone in the m iddle o f the forest w ith nobody around fo r m iles.

Was the anim al s ta lk in g m e? I remembered the in c id e n t o f a fe w days before when I found c la w marks on the te n t, and I had h o rrifie d visions o f a m ountain lio n te a r­ ing its way in to the te n t, and h a vin g me fo r supper. I th o ug h t o f run n in g to S ch m u tzig , our trusty V W bug, who was parked a t the end o f the jeep tr a il th a t borders on our la n d . But th a t was hundreds o f yards a w a y. The a n i­ mal m ight pounce on me before I got th e re .

I turned on my fla s h lig h t, and h u rrie d ly paged through Bradford A n g ie r's book How To Stay A liv e in the W oods.

W hat a laughable sig h t I must have b e e n! G o d , I'm such an a c a d e m ic . A n y w a y , I found the se ctio n on w h a t-to -d o -w h e n -y o u -e n c o u n te r-a -b e a s t: Keep c o o l, and ta lk to the a n im a l. Some h e lp ! (A c tu a lly , e x p e ri­ enced people say th a t th a t's w h a t you should d o ; anim als p ic k up ve ry q u ic k ly on yo u r v ib e s .) W e ll, I w asn't about to go o u t and say, "H e re , k it t y , k it t y " to a moun­ ta in lio n .

T urn in g on the fla s h lig h t gave me an id e a . I remem­ bered th a t a ll anim als o f the forest are te rrifie d o f f ir e .

I h u rrie d ly put on pants and shoes, ran o u t o f the te n t armed w ith my trusty Redcross k n ife , and b u ilt the q u ic k ­ est ca m p fire I'v e e ve r made in my lif e . F o rtu n a te ly , there was a huge p ile o f d ry cedar b a rk n earby, le ft over

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from o ur w o rk on b u ild in g a lo g to o l shed. I dumped the shavings in to the fir e p it , and l i t a m atch . W o n d e rfu l!

A b rig h t y e llo w lig h t shed its p ro te c tiv e aura o ve r the w h o le ca m p site , w h ile I grabbed the Swedish band saw and q u ic k ly c u t up a mound o f h e fty logs, and threw them o nto the f ir e . For me, a t th a t tim e , the o n ly s ig ­ n ific a n t d iffe re n c e b etw een humans and o th e r anim als was th a t we co u ld make a f ir e . The a n c ie n t myth o f Prometheus passed through my m ind: the g if t o f fir e was a g if t from the gods.

T hat n ig h t hod an u n ca n n y, m agical q u a lity to i t .

The sh riek o f a w ild a n im a l, my fe a r, the d a rk o f the fo re s t, and then th e d iv in e f ir e . Com forted by the fir e , I was f in a lly a b le to fa ll asleep, and had an uncanny dre a m .

I dreamed th a t I was a young woman who was be in g held c a p tiv e by the p o lic e . The pigs were kee p in g me in some k in d o f cam p. They had drugged me and were to rm e n tin g me by the sounds o f some w ild a n im al they ke p t n e a rb y . Then the scene s h ifte d . I was a ve ry o ld m an. I was in a w o o d -p a n e le d room th a t looked lik e a lib ra ry o r stu d y. Some k in d o f tr ia l was in progress in the room n e x t door in w h ich a p o lice m a n was charged w ith som ething in sidious (I d o n 't remember w h a t). I was to be a witness fo r the prosecution against the c o p .

But just b e fore I was c a lle d on to te s tify , my f o lio , c o n ­ ta in in g c a re fu lly docum ented e vid e n ce against the p ig , was m issing. I knew the cops o r th e ir agents had stolen i t . I was in a q u a nd ry: Should I te s tify a n yw a y, re ­ ly in g on my m em ory? As I was pondering the q u e stio n , my eyes scanned the w a lls o f the room . There were in s c rip tio n s in g o ld on the w a lls , th e w ay there some­ tim es are in p u b lic b u ild in g s . O ne o f them ca u g ht my e ye : " L e t the word be spoken, and the tru th made k n o w n ." I d e cid e d to te s tify , and entered the c o u rt­ room , a t w h ic h p o in t I w oke u p .

This dream was v e ry im p o rta n t fo r me because I knew i t had to do w ith my a ttitu d e tow ard the land and how I w ould c o n tin u e to re la te to i t . W hen Jay and I firs t le ft N e w Y o rk n e a rly three years ago to go land h u n t­ in g , I turned my b a ck on my lif e as a w o u ld -b e a c a ­ dem ic and a c it y - d w e lle r . I gave away n e a rly a ll my books. Jay and I le f t the c it y to lo o k fo r land in the co u n try and to b e g in a re v o lu tio n a ry new life s ty le .

But betw een the tim e we le ft N e w Y o rk and the tim e we f in a lly bought the la n d , I had fa lle n bock in to the h a b it o f sch o la rly re a d in g , forced in to it by the drab and u n in v itin g so cia l scene o f S e a ttle , where we were liv in g . In the process, I had come across a lo t o f p ro ­ v o c a tiv e m ate ria l in h istory and an thro p o lo g y h a vin g to do w ith G ay p e o p le . M uch o f this s tu ff deals w ith the people c a lle d "w itc h e s " in the M id d le A ges. I was e x ­ c ite d by these d isco ve rie s, b u t at the same tim e I was to rn : on the one hand, I wanted to g iv e up c ity a d d ic ­ tions and liv e a sim ple communal ru ra l e xiste n ce; on the o th er hand, I knew this m ate ria l about G ay people was p o te n tia lly e xp lo sive and should be worked up in to a b o o k. I was also to rn In ano th e r w a y : I d id n 't lik e the s e lf-c e n te re d , book-w orm ish p a rt o f my p e rs o n a lity , and wanted to be lib e ra te d from th a t, d e v o tin g more energy to c u ltiv a tin g personal re la tio n sh ip s; I thought it would be easier to do th a t in the c o u n try .

The dream rem inded me th a t a very deep p a rt o f my p e rso n a lity was com m itted to study and research and th a t I had d e veloped a strong h is to ric a l case against the p ig society in w h ich a ll G ay people liv e . The te rrib le fear o f the anim al th a t n ig h t and the d a rk loneliness o f the forest had jo lte d me, a llo w in g deep fe e lin g s to come to the su rfa ce . In a w a y, I fe lt as i f I had been v is ite d by an anim al s p ir it, and th a t the land its e lf was te llin g me i t was okay to keep and cherish the part o f my personal­ ity th a t loved study and req u ire d urban support.

I re a liz e d th a t I w asn't faced w ith an e ith e r/o r situ a ­ tio n . Jay and I co u ld spend part o f each year liv in g in the c o u n try , w o rkin g tow ard the goal o f rura l s e lf-s u f­ fic ie n c y , and part o f the year in the c it y , m eeting our urban needs. I no longer f e lt g u ilty o ve r my urban needs. I d id n 't fe e l th a t sa tisfyin g them was some kind o f p o litic a l c o p -o u t.

A few days a fte r I was scared by the a n im a l, I d is­ covered from a lo ca l resident th a t w ild cats do indeed prow l in the area o f N e w Sodom, b u t th a t they are harmless to humans. In fa c t, the scream may even have come from n o thing more te rr ify in g than a s c re e c h -o w l.

In retro sp e ct, I fe e l a lit t le s illy about my m elodram atic re a c tio n . Y e t, I also fe e l I learned something v a lu a b le

A rth u r is w ritin g a series o f a rtic le s /e x p lo ra tio n s based on his research in to w itc h c r a ft. The a rtic le s are app ea rin g as a series in Fag Rag ($ox 331, K e n more S ta ., Boston, M A 0221 5) b e g in n in g w ith the rece n t Christmas Blasphemy Issue.

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AN INTRODUCTION TO SLA B ART— A tree is a liv in g b e in g .

Trees supply our lif e b re a th ,

our a ir . I t is v ita l to remember th is when in te ra c tin g w ith our green le a fy frie n d s . N o t just id e o lo g ic a lly , b u t when one plants on e , k ills o n e , eats o n e , o r gives o f one's s e lf to the p la n t kingdom ( lik e com posting y o u r s h it).

In o th e r words, we should d e ve lo p a day to day res­ p e ct fo r these d e lic a te selfless crea tu re s. A good p lace to w ork on this is by using wood th a t w o uld otherw ise be w asted. Here are some sources i know o f fo r fin d in g re c y c le -a b le w ood: (1 ) O cean and G re a t Lake beaches are o f ten c o v ­ ered w ith h e a lth y logs and d riftw o o d .

(2 ) F a lle n and unused butchered trees can be used as poles, beams, a n d . . .th e am bitious one can make ru s tic boards from them .

(3 ) O ld barns and shacks o fte n c o n ta in fin e , usable h is to ric w ood.

(4 ) S aw m ills o fte n have unusable, rough wood w h ich th e y h a p p ily g iv e a w a y . Slabs are the b a rk y , o u ter p a rt o f trees, usually they are d isca rd e d . Slabs can supply a constant source o f fin e w ood, fo r one who can transport them to th e ir w ork a re a .

A sa w m ill exists near our northern M innesota home­ ste a d. That's where i firs t discovered th is source o f w o o d , and i shall never fo rg e t the experiences i had w h ile w o rk in g w ith slabs.

Every slab is u n iq u e , and they are cast a w ay from the s tra ig h t, c a lc u la te d c u t boards. Being a t tim es an o u t­ cast m yself (fro m m yself), i found g re a t pleasure and s tim u la tio n w h ile w o rkin g w ith slabs.

W e made re g u la r trip s to th e s a w m ill, choosing par­ tic u la r slabs fo r special uses. For b u ild in g a treehouse fram e i chose th ic k cedar ones. For b u ild in g lit t le boxes i chose th in barkless ones.

There were tw o shelters com pleted last y e a r, b u ilt e n tire ly o f slabs. O ne was a tria n g u la r g oat shed. In b u ild in g the g oat shed, we p laced three 7 -fo o t poles in the e a rth . Then a ll the poles were brought to g eth e r by lashing sm aller lim bs to the ve ry tops. B a lin g tw in e was used to lash a ll po le s.

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N e x t poles were tie d to the co m e rs, a t an a n g le u p ­ w a rd s .. .w h e re they u n ite a t a c e n te r p o in t. G ia n t logs were p la ce d on the e a rth , betw een the co rn e r posts.

Slabs were then n a ile d to the logs, and th e lashed pol es. This com pleted the w a lls .

F in a lly , a ta rp was throw n o ve r the to p , and tie d se cu re ly to the lashed p o l e s . ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ j ^ S ^ f i P

COLOR PAGE 13

Take heed, though, reader, to you a w arning before we can b e g in , That- this co u ld happen to any o f yonder w histlers on the w in d

was a tim e , once upon ago, when a ll the land fo r manyabouts was ca u g ht in the grips o f a curious sameness- A nd fo r this strange fe e lin g there arose not a sin g le q u e stion , for the sameness spread to the people to o , and not just the houses and the streets and the v a lle y s .

O n e such v a lle y flo w e d fo r many a m ile betw een steep and ta ll rid ge s, c u ttin g i t o ff q u ite severely from the u s u a lly f la t c o u n try s id e . A d w e lle r here w ould o f­ ten fin d h irs e lf tra v e llin g fo r many days to reach one end or the o th e r. The plains surrounding the v a lle y were also a ffe c te d by this sameness. I t had the fe e lin g o f b e in g borne o f a curse, for n o th in g ever changed as things are g ive n to in n a tu re . It hung upon the trees, w h ic h were a ll o f equal h e ig h t and k in d . A b lu e -g ra y haze was the usual aspect o f the sky. N e v e r d id rain or snow come to the v a lle y . It was ra re ly known to get ve ry h o t, or v e ry c o ld , fo r th a t m a tte r. This was the land c a lle d Fanganoor.

Emm and C ee, w h ic h are w hat my friends were c a lle d and are c a lle d s t ill, had liv e d in Fanganoor fo r as long as they co u ld rem em ber. They stood b a re ly three fe e t h ig h , and were never known to grow o r shrink an in c h .

T h e ir size was just rig h t fo r them to liv e beneath the roots o f a huge o ld p ine tree whose roots had grown over the rem ains o f fa lle n tim b e r. Long ago the dead wood ro tte d a w a y, le a v in g the roots spreading o u t in to the g ro u n d . This formed a h o llo w b e n e a th , w ith just the proper number o f windows and doors. Emm and Cee were d e lig h te d w ith th e ir ro o t home when they found i t . A f ­ te r a b it o f tid y in g up and brushing o f f the moss, they had a q u ie t forest h id e a w a y .

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W hat a p la ce it was! T a ll pine trees shaded a forest flo o r bedded in shamrocks. They had a ll the furry friends they needed to c a ll o n 'w he n they were lo n e ly .

A n d there was a curious way o f c a rry in g on w ith a ll the anim als around them . Instead o f ta lk in g as most fo lks d id , Emm and Cee w ould w h is tle . Through the needles the w in d w ould w a ft th e ir notes. The gayest tunes were heard in the trees when they w h istle d to each o th e r. But best o f a ll, Emm had Cee and Cee had Emm. W hen one was u p , the o th er was d o w n . T ogether they w e n t sid e ­ w ays.

Y e t the times were not alw ays the best fo r the tree d w e lle rs . There was a fa in t uneasiness in the a ir . O f ­ tentim es the birds w ould w h is tle a mysterious song w hich made everyone lis te n . Emm and Cee w ondered, e s p e cia l­ ly a t these tim es, w hat the w a rb le c o u ld mean. For the w ind brought the message o f a c o ld gray mist about the plains and a curious sameness e ve ryw h e re .

"W h a t co u ld this b e , " said Emm to C ee, " th a t c h ills th e ir voice s so?

T h e y're te llin g o f a frig h tfu l la n d .

I w onder, should we g o ? " " N o t I , " said C ee, and slapped a kn e e . " N o t ever w ill I roam .

That land I know is W ic k e d e e .

It's fa r away from h o m e ."

They knew o b it o f whot the birds song, fo r long ago had spread the word o f the d re a d fu l Marmosets o f W ic k e d e e . They were stunted, curious creatures w ith sp indly legs and po in ted noses. This made them look q u ite lik e p lucked c h ic k e n s . M o re , they a ll looked the same. It was said th a t mysterious and frig h tfu l doings w ent on in W ic k e d e e , and th a t they were fo lks to stay away fro m .

W e ll, Emm was never one to pay much a tte n tio n to w hat co had been to ld . Co thought th a t i t was q u ite s illy to be a fra id o f somewhere th a t y o u 'v e never been

unkept fo r y e a 's . Here they met no tra ve le rs, for it was said th a t there was n o th in g safe outside the v a lle y w h ich w o uld in te re st an yo ne . A n yo n e , th a t is, except Emm and C ee, who had an immense c u rio s ity fo r fin d ­ in g o u t w h a t the land o f W icke d e e co u ld hold in store.

Indeed, the closer they cam e, the more fearless and e xcite d they g o t.

A t la st, a fte r n e a rly a f u ll moon o f tr a v e llin g , they reached the end o f the p la in , w h ich signaled the b e ­ g in n in g o f the land o f W ic k e d e e . Here the fie ld s merged in to a lin e o f woods e x te n d in g to the east and west as fa r as they co u ld see. As they entered the trees they n o tice d th a t the forest becam edarker and th ic k e r.

N o t a hum m ingbird w h is tle or squirrel c h a tte r was to be heard. In fa c t, there were no signs th a t any creatures liv e d in the woods a t a l l . . . .

fo r unless you go, how w ould you ever know w h a t a p la ce was lik e . To this Cee had no good answer, but w a sn 't y e t c o n v in c e d ; "B u t Emm, my frie n d , I just d o n 't know , w hat co u ld b e fa ll us i f we g o .

We m ight fo rg e t the w h is tle sweet we sing to a ll the birds we m eet, or worse, to go w here strange w inds b lo w th a t m ig h t, perhaps, cause us to g ro w !"

"W h a t h o !" they sang, as up they came to the land o f W ic k e d e e . " W e 'v e made i t fa st, w e 're here a t la st, and now , the m ystery! "

A nd Emm's re p ly : " A c h a n ce , a chance w e 'll have to fa k e .

W e 're not alone yo u know , fo r I'v e g o t you and y o u 'v e g o t me, so to g eth e r le t us g o ."

A lit t le courage was a ll they needed to g e t them on the ro a d . They closed the shutters o f th e ir p in e tree home, bade fa re w e ll to a ll th e ir frie n d s , and w h istle d g o o d-b ye to the birds o ve rh e a d .

Emm and Cee were not q u ite sure w h ich way to tu rn .

There were many paths in the woods, a ll o f w h ich looked the same. N o anim als were about to g iv e a h in t w h ich way to g o . W h a t there was, how ever, was a fa m ilia r odor w h ich came to them from the w est.

Could i t b e ? It sm elled lik e ve g e ta b le stew ! So th e ir b e llie s said to fo llo w th e ir noses, and o ff to the west they w e n t.

Soon they came upon a c le a rin g in the fo re st. There in its c e n te r was a tin y log house, w ith one side covered in sod up to th e ro o f. In fro n t stood a sp in d ly o ld w o .m an s lo w ly s tirrin g a huge v a t o f soup. " A h a !" she c rie d , tu rn in g around to meet th e m . " I 'v e been e x ­ p e ctin g y o u ." Emm and Cee were q u ite taken aback at hea rin g th is , fo r they c o u ld n 't im a gine who to ld her they were co m in g . "The c ro w s ," th e woman w ent on, "th e crow s. They to ld me y o u 'v e come to solve the r id ­ d le o f the b ird s. Y o u 'v e got a rough tr ip ahead, so best you eat some stew to keep yo u r stre n g th . I'm an o ld , o ld Marm oset you see, lo n g ago cast o u t fo r my strange ways. But ever since the w iz a rd 's s p e ll, the ways o f W icke d e e have been s tra n g e r."

For days they w a lk e d . A t dusk th e y rested. Emm am Cee had fo rg o tte n how many nights had been spent b e ­ neath the stars. The u p rig h t heads o f the pine trees seemed to reach fo re ve r towards th e s k y . They huddled to g eth e r on such n ig h ts, w ish in g a t tim es fo r a fa m ilia r w h is tle , th rille d a t times fo r b e in g on such an a dven­ tu re . T hroughout the tr ip they n o tice d many o f the mysteries o f w h ic h the birds w h is tle d . The e n tire la n d ­ scape was c u rio u s ly the same. A ll the o th e r trave le rs they met were p e c u lia rly q u ie t, g iv in g n o thing more than a handw ave in passing. L ike w ise , when they c lim b e d o u t onto the p la in above Fanganoor, there were miles and miles o f f la t brown fie ld s , w h ich looked

N o w Cee was fir s t to make re p ly , Co asked o f h ir , "B u t w h y, o h , why could anyone w ant to take this land and make i t sad, or make i t b la n d ? |.

W e 'v e come so fa r from Fanganoor, w a lke d many a m ile to reach yo u r d o o r.

A nd now you te ll o f a w icke d man, who's brought a sameness to this la n d ."

Emm was next to say a w o rd, "There's nary a cre a tu re , not even a b ird .

How could anyone cast a spell to make this p la ce u n fit to d w e ll ? "

21

" I see y o u 're q u ic k and b r ig h t , " re p lie d the w om an.

"A n d so was th is w iz a rd . He's long dead now , b u t his m agic l : ves on and o n . N o one can remetrber w hat i t was lik e b e fore the s p e ll. O n ly the birds who fle d from W ic k e d e e know w hat was here b e fo re . A n d it's a rare one th a t can ta lk to the b ird s, you k n o w . I f I were yo u , I'd have some stew , then go lo o k fo r the w iz a rd 's h u t.

It's down th is path a fe w days o n . Perhaps there you w ill fin d the c lu e , to make our lands a liv e and n e w ."

So eat they d id , then bade th e woman a warm fa re ­ w e ll. A g a in i t was to be a lo n g road ahead, and per­ haps the b iggest adventure o f a l l .

So this th e y d id . I t had been a long tim e since they p ra c tic e d th e ir w h istle s. They found to th e ir surprise th a t they were as good as e v e r. In no tim e a t a ll they had co m p le te ly fo rg o tte n th e c o ld and d a rk and were c a rry in g on lik e m eadow larks.

Suddenly Emm stopped w h is tlin g and stared past Cee in to the n ig h t. " C e e , oh C ee, lo o k past y o u r kn e e .

Y o u 're in fo r a b ig surprise.

For rig h t beyond the shadows here is a p a ir o f huge red e y e s !"

So dow n the t r a il they w e n t, w ith eager hearts and throats b u rstin g in song. They were h a vin g such a good tim e , th a t they d id n 't n o tic e the trees g e ttin g th ic k e r ab o ut th e m , o r th e path becom ing narrow and ro u g h . It was w in d in g up and down h ills , o ve r rocks and through streams. In some places the path became d if f ic u lt to make o u t a t a l l . M any moons had passed since anyone had tra v e le d this w a y . But on they tru d g e d , though th e ir fe e t were w e t and sore.

It was soon to be d a rk . They had y e t to come across a c le a rin g to bed down fo r the n ig h t. N e v e r b e fore had th e y been in a forest w h ich had no anim als to ta lk to .

There was an uneasy fe e lin g in the a ir . F in a lly , too tire d to w a lk o n , they de cid e d to just stop w here they were and s it on the ground u n til m orn in g . N ig h tfa ll came w ith no moon o r sh in in g stars. The blackness came lik e c o a ld u s t. Emm and Cee co u ld not even see each o th e r. " I hope th is n ig h t's a short o n e , C e e ." said Emm in a q u iv e rin g to n e . " I never th o u g h t w e 'd ever be so lost and c o m p le te ly a lo n e ." " N o w d o n 't you f r e t , " came Cee's r e p ly .

"W e 're not a lo n e yo u kn o w .

W e 'v e g o t each o th e r to sleep b y , and m orning soon w ill show ." " I 'v e g o t an id e a to th a t w o n 't need any Let's w h is tle on the the way we c a ll the

11

pass the tim e , w ords. v * .d «. H>nr»y rhym e, b ir d s ."

Sure enough, p ie rc in g the blackness were two g lo w in g fire -e y e s sta rin g s tra ig h t a t them . S lo w ly they began to move a w a y . Emm and Cee both knew a t once th a t they should f o llo w . As i f by m agic they fle w through the n ig h t. N o longer were th e ir fe e t tire d o r sore. N o longer was the path rough o r d if f ic u lt to w a lk . They f o l­ lowed the red dots through the n ig h t.

As da yb re a k cam e, they discovered the eyes belonged to a huge b la c k crow th a t was somehow c a lle d by th e ir w h is tlin g . I t was n e a rly noon when the crow f in a lly stopped fly in g and perched In a p ine tree a t the edge o f a ra v in e . The b ird began to w h is tle w ith a v o ic e o f w is­ dom and a g e . Co to ld them a mysterious ta le : "L o n g , long ago had the land o f W icke d e e been beset w ith s tr ife . Marmoset was against M arm oset, and a frie n d ly o r c h e e rfu l fa ce was ra re ly to be seen. Every­ one was o u t fo r them selves, try in g to be b e tte r than the n e x t. A n yo n e who was d iffe re n t in the least was treated ve ry b a d ly . M any people were chased away and had to liv e in the woods. " A w iza rd there was in Marmoset la n d , who hated a ll th is s tr ife . So one day a t the end o f w in te r season he put a spell o ver a ll the la n d . From th a t day o n , e ve ry­ th in g looked the same. The people acted the same and ta lk e d th e same. N o one was d iffe re n t a nym ore. Worst o f a ll, he locked up Spring in his spell b o x , so th a t no­ th in g co u ld ever change a g a in in W ic k e d e e . A ll the birds and the anim als fle d from the fo re st. A nd since th is tim e the sameness has been sp reading, so th a t even Fanganoor is becom ing much lik e W ic k e d e e . The o n ly way to break the spell is to fin d the b o x , break the lo c k , and set Spring fr e e . "

And w here was the b o x ? As the cro w fin ish e d h ir ta le , co spread h ir huge wings and d ove in to the ra v in e , fly in g to a ledge on w h ic h stood, most e x tra o rd in a rily , the w i­ za rd 's spell b o x . In a flash the b ird d isappeared.

Down the rocks scram bled Emm and C e e . Very c a re ­ f u lly they c lim b e d to the le d g e . Together they tugged and yanked a t the lo c k u n til a t la st— i t broke fre e .

W ith th e ir hearts in th e ir th ro a ts, they c a re fu lly lifte d the lid . O u t in a rush came c lim b in g vin e s, gro w ing flow ers o f every p e tal and c o lo r, d r iftin g aromas o f lif e come new in the fo re s t. A n d best o f a l l — w h is tlin g !

S o ftly i t began, g ro w in g lo u d e r and lo u d e r, u n til the a ir was f ille d w ith tunes o f every harm ony. Soon, a b ird a p ­ peared here and a b ird th e re , sq u irre ls, c h ip m u n k s ,ra c ­ coons, foxes, bears, and rab b its u n til the w h o le ra v in e was fu ll o f creatures come b a ck to th e ir fo re st.

Emm and Cee were f ille d w ith jo y and w h istle d on the w in d to a ll th e ir friends a b o u t. Together they sang:

"There's g o t to be a b e tte r way to liv e to g e th e r day by d a y; to w ork and p la y and share the fu n , and sing our songs beneath the sun.

A nd though we m ig ht be d iffe re n t now , perhaps to grow o r change somehow; we know w e 'v e g o t a job to d o , and th a t's to make the w o rld brand n e w ."

*lVErul

A Chinese Z en In the scenery o f spring there is n o th in g superior n o th in g in fe rio r; F lo w e rin g branches are by nature some sh o rt, some lo n g .

23

The People o f Dream goodbye i t was n ic e kn o w in g you n o th in g more as it's o b vio u sly headed to less and you go w ith less

Day passes in to n ig h t A nd again in to d a y : We are the p e o p le .

O u r fire s are b rig h t through the long w in te r; In summer, we w a lk naked in the h ills .

We are the people o f dreams.

In the n ig h t we sing our dream s.

In the b rig h t dawn we dance our dreams.

In a good land we liv e , Upon the good earth we are w a lk in g .

T w o-le g s and fo u r-le g s and wings o f a ir We liv e in pe a ce.

O u r eyes are o ld eyes, Deepset in our sku lls; O u r eyes are th e hooded eyes o f cats O u r eyes are wise w ith the wisdom o f dreams O u r eyes burn w ith the strength o f our dream s.

Running I ran in to a tre e b e fore i t co u ld see me A nd i t h u rt.

Beside our fire s our vo ice s are b rig h t; We sing o ld songs, songs from o ur dreams.

Q u e s tio n and Answer

We sing the ra in from the skies A nd the salmon from the w a te r, The power o f w ild things T hat have not been tam ed.

Can you reach fo r a lim b in the n ig h t?

I f a w in d can you w ill i f you tr y ?

Can you ca tc h a breath ?

W a te r can so w hy c a n 't y o u ?

W ill you ever fin d an eg g ?

I f you do t e ll me.

D w e lle rs -in -th e -W ild -P la c e s Lords o f the Forest S ile n t Lords o f the M ou n ta in s, Y o u r powers we c a ll; W ith v is ib le form le t us b e hold you As you dance w ith us through th e n ig h t.

Caradoc ap Cador

i

I

A Book

because less is less and i f you th in k more y o u 're in tro u b le because less is less, hah l you alw ays to ld me less is more and i c a n 't do i t th a t'w a y because then i e x p e c t more o f less than less this is th is th is is th a t and it 's from here th a t th a t exists not from there and there exists from h e re . h e llo goodbye again

rob e rt

When a book has made its way in to a room , A sp e ll is put upon i t .

The changes are q u ite u n ique and the spell is penetrated In to a p la ce w here flow ers are not fo rg o tte n A n d th e w in d b lo w s .

@ c o p y rig h t Earth R e lig io n N e w s, 1974 Russell Ross

V \

25

noM 6Ironx. * n e 'q h b o r s c o m ity

Clta in

ro a &

Since the age o f 1 I'v e devote m /s e lf to the a rtis tic expression o f N a tu re and Fantasie (p a in tin g m o stly), ^UlnllYwh 1 I am 23 years o ld now , though the general consensus seems to be th a t I shall never "g ro w .u p " . (I'v e been to ld I resemble Peter Pan, i f th a t' thas a n y th in g to do w ith i t . Four years ago I made theV b ig move o u t o f C ity M o lo ch to M oth e r N a tu re . I set­ tle d on a small and ra th e r rem ote island in N o rth Puget Sound w ith my pony and a group o f lo v in g s tra ig h t n e ig h -'

U

fb o rs. We share a g re a t deal (but n o t our b o d ie s). La tely I'v e been d e v o tin g more and more a rtis tic energy towards c h ild re n , whom I spend a lo t o f tim e w ith and have re c e n tly discovered the a rt o f p u p p e try . Then there's alw ays just w o rk­ in g w ith and b e in g surrounded by N a tu re —alw ays so much o f o n e -' s e lf. N a tu re —alw ays tr u th fu l, som ething you can re a lly lean o n .

I w ould have to say I re la te best to those younger than m yself—b u t a ll people are teachers and learners. I w ould lo ve to hear from a n y 'o n e who w ould care to w rite me.

Love from P a trick Dowers Star Route S tuart Isla n d , W ash.

98250 / A t the risk o f sounding lik e many o f the letters to R .F .D . (all o f w h ich w e 'v e e n jo ye d ) w e, to o , have c u t wood to d a y , l i t the k itc h e n fire p la c e and now we g e t the q u ie t things o f evening d o n e . G ary has his sewing m achine o u t and has just fin ish e d his sixth q u ilt made from o ld le v is . The various shades o f worn o u t b lu e jeans have been assembled in a u th e n tic designs lik e In d ia n rugs. O ne a th u n d e rb o lt d esign, the n e xt in a corn p a tte rn , another in b u llse ye sym bol—and so o n .

I c a tc h up on correspondence fo r us both and do some b o okw ork on our design business w h ich we m a in ta in on weekdays in an o ld adobe stu d io in A lb u q u e rq u e . E a rlie r today we hauled w a te r from Tunnel Springs, near an aban­ doned fish h a tc h e ry , 2 miles fu rth e r up the Sandia M ountains near o ur o ld adobe hom e. It's an o ld co a l m in in g c a b in on the edge o f a sh a llo w ca n y o n . O u r v ie w to the west in clu d e s C a bezon, a fa n ta s tic n atural monument w h ic h balances the sun on Ju ly 4 , o r thereabouts, each y e a r. A lre a d y we have several h e a lth y f r u it trees and a large v e g e ta b le gard e n . We lo ve our lane and house, and our plans o f a d d itio n s (we have spotted an abandoned log c a b in , w h ic h the ranger w ill assist us in a q u irin g ) are va st. A g re a t ro ck pool (for washing m in in g carts a c e n ­ tu ry ago) is b e lo w the w ind m ill—we hope to cle a n it soon and have a plunge fo r h o t days.

Bob and G a ry (co n t'd p .3 8 )

26

27

MORE LETTERS Dear RFD, In strange moments when th a t q u ie t descends a lo n g the c o ld snow, w ith o u t the w h isp e ring w in d , I see m yself c o m p le te , u n lik e o th e r days when w inds b le w hot and c o ld passion across my landscape, I was glad to re c e iv e yo u r issue. I t was q u ite e v id e n t th a t a small group o f frien d s put i t to g e th e r. I was not surprised at a ll by the p ie ce ab o ut m other earth news. I have long been disenchanted by th e ir fo lk s ie and o ld tim e y put on and o f course th e ir obvious ra cist and sexist sta n d. O h , there are ads from gay men b u t they are usu a lly o f someone lo o k in g fo r th e ir id e a l.

I liv e a lo n e , I fin d th a t I o fte n wish fo r one to share my lif e w ith b u t as a frie n d ; fo r lo v e r is too possessive, a frie n d who loves me is alw ays w e lco m e .

I have liv e d by th is c re e k on and o f f fo r o ve r two years, and now th a t I have a job a t the lo c a l m ill i t w ill be more on than o f f .

I t seems th a t I have come fu ll c ir c le in ten years from com ing o u t in 64 to b e in g a lo n e in 7 4 . I t is hard to re ­ la te to many people h e re , and I know o f o n ly tw o gay people w ith in 4 0 m ile s . But I have books and music and lum ber and plans to w o rk on the c a b in .

W ith lo v e , J im , M en d o cin o C ounty c / o RFD

Being just anorner c o u n try ooy w o u ld e n p y re c e iv in g your newspaper i f yo u have a prisoner fu n d .

Yes, fo r cashing an in s u ffic ie n t ch e ck I'v e a lre a d y c o m p ile d three years here in C a lifo rn ia prisons. O ne y e a r because o f the ch e c k and tw o years because they know I'm a h o m o p h ile and because o f th is are refusing me p a ro le . It seems a ll homos are serious threats to s o c ie ty .

So may I re c e iv e a copy o f y o u r new spaper? A lso en­ jo y correspondence w ith o th ers.

M lf}

Roger C . Hanson B40983 Dorm 322 Bed 32

P. O . Box A w r— San Luis O b isp o , CA 93409 (Subscriptions to RFD are free to a ll inm ates o f prisons and m ental h o s p ita ls . I f you ca re to sponsor a subscrip­ tio n fo r a prison e r, please le t us k n o w .)

26

M any many le tte rs have come in from y o u — too many to p rin t a ll o f th e m . So we chose, e d ite d and trie d to re ta in the essence o f w h a t you were sa yin g . Some o f you gave perm ission to use yo u r address, some d id n o t, b u t most gave no in d ic a tio n e ith e r w a y . When w r itin g , please in d ic a te w hether you wish yo u r address in c lu d e d .

I f you w ish , we w ill lis t yo u r address as " c / o R F D ", and we w ill forw ard any m ail yo u re c e iv e .

I f som ething th a t someone has draw n o r w ritte n moves y o u , we encourage you to w rite i f the address is lis te d , o r c / o RFD— such as "L otu s D iv in e , South D a k o ta , c / o RFD, P .O . Box 161, G r in n e ll, Iowa 50112."

12. Correspondence.— There is no better school 'or bet­ ter source for self-improvement than a pleasant correspond­ ence between friends.

. . . . I ' m try in g to g e t a fa rm /v illa g e c o lo n y started here in C olorado a t an o ld abandoned m ission. I'm needing a bunch o f guys who are interested in in ve stin g in lands and p ro p e rtie s, and have a p io n e e rin g s p irit to re b u ild up a rundown a re a . I'm interested in brothers who are not money mad and w ould lik e to w o rk w ith and fo r the brotherhood on a m a in ly b a rte r system, and w h a t you m ight c a ll a n o n -p ro fit o rg a n iz a tio n ; a lth o i t ' l l be a free e n te rp rise , and a n y th in g th e y w a n t to se ll outside the c o lo n y is O K and they get f u ll v a lu e , th e y d o n 't have to d iv v y w ith the o th ers. As a m atter o f fa c t, th a t w ill be the main source o f m oney. In th e c o lo n y , lif e w ill go a t an easy pace and th e re 'll be tim e fo r G od and h e lp in g b ro th e rs. A ll property w ill be owned in d iv id u a lly .

There is a C a th o lic mission c h u rc h , th a t w ill be pastored by a homo p rie s t, b u t th e re 's no re lig io u s re s tric tio n s .

A n y o th e r m inisters who w a n t to establish o th e r churches and o th e r members who w a n t th e ir own r e lig io n , may do so. The basis o f th is c o lo n y w ill be s p iritu a l and N O T m ercenary.

It can be a ve ry pleasant and rew ard in g lif e and a refu g e fo r th e homeless kids who w a n t someone to b e lo n g to and th e oldsters who no longer have any one to care a bout th e m . By liv in g th e sim ple a g ric u ltu ra l lif e , th e r e 'll be p le n ty o f food and sh e lte r fo r a ll in a n a tio n th a t is now faced w ith a c r it ic a l food shortage.

W hat I'm interested in is try in g to prom ote the M ission and fin d in g good sensible d o w n -to -e a rth homosexuals who REALLY w a n t a good lif e . I f you know o f, o r can g e t word to , a g ric u ltu ra l homosexuals, I'd g re a tly a p ­ p re c ia te i t . It's v e ry hard fo r us co u n try guys to be a b le to c o n ta c t one a n o th e r. I was in hopes yo u r RFD w ould be a b le to g e t a bunch o f us to g e th e r. I ' l l c u t fo r now and hope a ll is w e ll w ith y o u .

A d io s A m ig o , Richard C a re y, C olorado c / o RFD

29

"at the pass'

DRAMATIS PERSONAE MR. G A R T Z; a p ro to ty p ic a l h ip p ie d u d e , q u ite macho F E M IN IN A ; a p ro to ty p ic a l h ip p ie la d y , " o ld la d y" to MR. GARTZ C AM AS SWALE; diaphanous fa g g o t s p ir it, and PARSNIP SWALE; his more e a rth ly com panion M IN O R A A R C A N A ; and M A JO R A A R C A N A ; s p iritu a l dykes and neighbors to the SWALES G A R B A N Z O PATTI; c it y d yke and v is ito r a t the A R C AN AS EVERYFAG; v is itin g a t the SWALES LISA FREECAT; frie n d and n eighbor o f the SWALES and the A R C A N A S S IM U LTA N E O U S WAFFLE; C o lo n e l in the 1st D iv is io n o f th e S ierra C lu b HERR RED T A G ; prosecutor fo r B u ild in g Code a u th o ritie s * M YG U R L ( la te r PETRONELLA); HERR RED T A G 's secretary GENERAL JELLY; a m atronly guardian angel various communards w ith guns

ACT I 1st Scene: the b ig room a t the main house o f a rural commune; G ARTZ and F E M IN IN A , the A R C A N A S and SWALES and th e ir v is ito rs , LISA and WAFFLE have gathered fo r w e e kly s in g in g . CAM AS is in tro d u c in g the new p ie ce fo r the e v e n in g : the O re ­ gon State Song, in fo u r p a rt harm ony. A m inor spat breaks o u t o ve r the ly ric s o f the song, w h ich a ll agree are im perialistic, sexist; good humor p re v a ils , and m ajor word substitutions are in tro d u ce d so as to make the song a c c e p ta b le . A hearty re n d itio n o f the State Song co n ­ cludes the o p ening scene.

* In th e ir a re a , a red tag is p laced upon a condemned b u ild in g b efore i t is b u lld o z e d .

2nd Scene: stage same, characters are ta lk in g in fo rm a lly , d u rin g the tea and gingerbread "b re a k " in the s in g in g . PARSNIP is s tu ffin g his mouth f u ll o f g in ­ gerbread, lo u d ly saying how good i t is . EVERYFAG is f lir t in g w ith MR. G A R T Z , who is d iso rie n te d b u t pleased by the a tte n tio n o f this fa n c ily dressed fa g g o t from the b ig c it y (everyone else is in common c o u n try c lo th e s, o c c a s io n a lly c o lo rfu l and c re a tiv e b u t alw ays d ir t y lo o k in g ). Everyone gathers around as F E M IN IN A reads a le tte r from HERR RED T A G . The le tte r states th a t w ith in three weeks, they w ill have to e vacuate th e ir residences, o r b rin g them up to C ode, w h ic h is im possible.

Everyone has an idea about w h a t to d o , b u t there is n e ith e r th e tim e nor the w ill to c o n tin u e the discussion th e n . A m eeting is planned a t the commune in question the n e xt d a y .

3L

A CT If 1st Scene: p la n n in g m eeting at the G A R T Z' com m une. Everyone is crow ded in to a much sm a lle r, more ru s tic , b u ild in g , w ith dogs, c h ild re n run n in g in and o u t. S IM U L T A N E O U S WAFFLE has been to v is it the B u ild in g Commissioner e a rlie r in the d a y , and trie s to e x p la in how reasonable they are; his e x p la n a tio n is re g u la rly in te rru p te d b y his ve ry th ic k glasses w h ich keep s lid in g down his nose. WAFFLE is e xtre m e ly n e a rsig h te d .

MR. G AR TZ o u tlin e s his m ilita ry plan to c u t HERR RED T A G o ff a t the pass w ith guns. V a rio u s com m unard men m utter agreem ent. Hot debate ensues, C AM AS and the A R C A N A S le a ve in disgust at the uncom prom ising m ale e g o -tr ip p in g . PARSNIP and G A R B A N Z O argue v a lia n tly b u t unsuccessfully fo r a more im a g in a tiv e p la n , w h ic h w ould m in im iz e v io le n c e and hold o u t hope o f success. EVERYFAG and LISA are in the co rn e r, LISA try in g to e x p la in to EVERYFAG w hat is h a p p e n in g .

M e e tin g ends in d is a rra y .

2 nd S cene: stage is d iv id e d so th a t we see the inside o f the room w here the m eeting was on the one side; and outside nearby on the o th er s id e . The two scenes proceed sim u lta n e o u sly, a lte rn a tin g d ia lo g u e .

MR. G ARTZ and FE M l N I N A go to bed, b oth o f them upset. Each speaks an " a s id e ,'' e x p la in in g how th e y are fe e lin g .

F E M IN IN A knows she is b e tra y e d , and w o rries a bout who w ill ca re fo r the baby when i t is bo rn ; G ARTZ is torn betw een e n jo y in g the roles he plays w ith her and the com m une, b u t is also a ttra ch e d to EVERYFAG . A fte r each is fin is h e d , they speak a fe w h ip p y -d ip p y lin e s to each o th e r a bout how e v e ry th in g is g ro o v y .

EVERYFAG stands a lo n e in the moon­ lig h t, d e liv e rs a s o lilo q u y on the u n re ­ lia b ilit y o f fu z z y men; he is confused about why they are a ttra c tiv e to him , and resolves to re la te to his fa g g o t peers in ste a d . He is resentful and v u ln e ra b le , th o ug h , and his resolve d o e sn 't a lte r th a t. As he fin ish e s, he w alks o ff in to the n ig h t.

The Scene ends w ith a to ta lly d a rk stage, as G AR TZ's ca n d le goes o u t; a b e a u tifu l m adrigal is sung by them and th e o th ers.

3rd Scene: same e ve n in g a t the SWALE house, la te r.

C A M A S , LISA , and M A JO R A

have te a and share th e ir depression o ve r th e im p o s s ib ility o f liv in g he re , w h a t w ith the G ARTZS and th e ir sexism, and the HERR RED TAG S and th e ir o p ­ pression. M IN O R A , h o w e ve r, is more h e lp fu l and begins c o n ju rin g up a p la n .

C A M A S and M IN O R A cross words about m a g ic— does i t e x is t, how does i t w o rk ?

C A M A S is le f t in d o u b t b u t more tru s tin g , as LISA , G A R B A N Z O , and the A R ­ C A N A S head o f f to c o n c o c t th e ir plan o f a c tio n .

4th S cene: The SWALE's bedroom , Sunday m orn in g . C AM AS and PARSNIP are in b e d , ta lk in g . They are happy and c a lm , and ta lk in wonder about the process o f tension and r e c o n c ilia tio n . Late last n ig h t they were both upset and d id n 't sleep w e ll, b oth upset w ith the p o s s ib ility o f a shoo to u t, and not b e lie v in g th a t anyone had a p la n o f a c tio n w h ich w ould w o rk . C o n fro n tin g each o th e r w ith th e ir do u bts, th e y had found strength in th e ir trust fo r each o th e r, and lo ve m a kin g had c e le b ra te d th a t renewed tru s t. ( A ll this is e xp la in e d to the au d ie nce through th e ir re v ie w o f th e la st fe w hours' c o m m u n ic a tio n .) N o w they try to c o n c o c t a p lan o f th e ir o w n . They remember a fa g g o t frie n d who works in the p ro v in c ia l c a p ita l in the press d iv is io n . A ls o , i t seems th a t WAFFLE's w ife works in the p -o v in c ia l la n d -u se o f f ic e . M ayb e we co u ld c a ll them , and see w h a t they c o u ld d o .

Both are b u o ye d , even by th is slender ho p e.

ACT 111

1st Scene: M onday m orning, at a m ajor pass through the m ountains nearhy, w here the highw ay weaves its way th ro u g h . Various sta lle d ju n ky cars are b lo c k in g the in te rsta te h ig h w a y ; G A R B A N Z O , LISA and WAFFLE are passing o u t le a fle ts e x p la in in g the co n fu sio n , asking the tourists to h e lp . The A R C A N A S and F E M IN IN A are o ff in the woods nearby discussing the m atter w ith some enormous f ir trees. The trees agree to p a rtic ip a te (a la the Ents in the Ring T rilo g y ) by swooping w ild ly and c re a tin g fe a rfu l winds and fa llin g branches at the c r it ic a l m oment.

N e a rb y MR. GARTZ and EVERYFAG are "h a v in g it o u t , " ostensibly over guns b u t strong undertones o f th e ir lo ve d if f ic u lt ie s . EVERYFAG is s h rill and c a rp in g , GARTZ ab u sive , Communards nearby polish th e ir guns.

C enterstage, C AM AS is e re c tin g an enormously w on­ drous ta b le a u — a c u rta in w ith gre a t q u a n titie s o f feathers, flow ers and luminous b u ild e r's f o il to stretch across the fre e w a y . EVERYFAG leaves G ARTZ and joins C A M A S .

A r ia : " M r , Red Tag Shall N o t Pass, We W ill Find a W a y " . A t firs t a lo n e , each group (the pam phleteers, the f ir - t r e e group, the gunmen, and the artists) sing a stanza, a ll fin is h in unison.

As the fin a l re fra in lowers to a w h isp e r, GENERAL JELLY flo a ts on stage. She is Cub Scout M o th e r, Fan­ n ie Lou Ham er, Isis and F airy G odm other a ll ro lle d in ­ to o n e . Dressed madly but s tr ik in g ly , she is the s p irit o f the e v e n t, se cre tly c o o rd in a tin g the energies o f each group, synthesizing them . She makes a short statem ent, ca lm and lo v in g b u t re s o lu te . As the b a ttle hour ap­ proaches, LISA (now in a tre e ) announces th a t HERR RED T A G and M YG URL are a rriv in g up the h i l l .

Enter HERR RED T A G and M Y G U R L: they stop and witness the ta b le a u , T A G is somewhat overcom e w ith fe a r. T re m blin g, he te lls M YG U R L to rod io for re in ­ forcem ents, b u t the radiow aves are f ille d w ith a d is­ patch from the c a p ita l: the s ta tic ra d io blares fo rth a p ro c la m a tio n th a t harassment o f the people stop. G E N ­ ERAL JELLY takes command, and confronts them w ith the angels o f reason (W AFFLE), mercy (G A R B A N Z O ), a rt (C A M A S ), lo ve (EVERYFAG and G A R T Z), and magic ( M IN O R A ). HERR RED T A G is confused, but u n ­ daunted in his d e te rm in a tio n to e ra d ica te these ve rm in , The gunmen, im p a tie n t, come o u t o f the woods, but are held back by GENERAL JELLY: she gives an impassioned p re d ic tio n about the consequences o f v io le n c e . HERR RED T A G is numbed, and fin a lly broken when "h is" M YG U R L d ra m a tic a lly announces her secret love for M A J O R A . A ll cheer and march o ffsta g e .

2nd Scene: F in a le . A ll a rriv e a t nearby h a il for d a n c e / c e le b ra tio n , M YG U R L is renamed PETRONELLA. W ith m irth they form up in two long lin e s, as in the V irg in ia Reel, and dance a s p rig h tly co u n try dance , "P e tro n e lia " (a fte r w h ich M YG U R L was renam ed). It is a tru ly G iI — b e rt-a n d -S u lliv a n e n d in g , in w h ich everyone is paired h a p p ily : M A JO R A and M Y G U R L/P E TR O N E LLA , M I­ N O R A and F E M IN IN A , LISA and G A R B A N Z O , W AF­ FLE and GENERAL JELLY, CAM AS and PARSNIP, and GARTZ and EVERYFAG. HERR RED T A G stands guarded by the gunmen in the c o rn e r. M uch la u g h in g and h a p p i­ ness as the stage closes w ith the end o f the d a n ce.

END

33

U N CLE N ED SAYS, “ LETSEA Tj ”

U N C LE N E D 'S DILL BREAD

SPRING FEVER SOUP

1 tb b u tte r

I lik e to f ix th is when I can w a lk out to the garden on a sunny spring day and fin d tender new vegetables th a t can be q u ic k ly b la nched and co o le d down to be e a t­ en w ith homemade bread and tea in the warm a fte rn o o n .

But i f , lik e me, yo u r spring fe e lin g s c a n 't w a it, fin d good fresh produce a t th e store, cook i t up and eat i t w h ile you w a tch th e last o f th e snow m e lt.

1 c u p c o tta g e cheese 1 ts sa lt 2 tb sugar 2 ts d ill seed

\ o n io n d ic e d 1 egg i ts soda 2 | - 2 Jr cu p flo u r 1 tb yeast 1 /3 cup warm w a te r

Take yo u r tim e to prepare in to neat l it t le p ile s : A large p o ta to , scrubbed and e ve n ly d ice d A co u p le o f ca rro ts, s lice d

D issolve yeast in warm w a te r. Warm b u tte r, cheese, sugar, s a lt, d ill seeds, o n io n , and e gg. M ix in w ith ye a st. A dd soda, b eat in flo u r . Let rise one h o u r. S tir down g o o d . Dump in w e ll greased lo a f pan. Let rise 45 m inutes. Bake 350 degrees fo r 4 0 -5 0 m inutes.

Peter Lee

A RECIPE P a rtia lly dissolve three tablespoons o f u n fla vore d g e la tin in one q u a rt o f h e a te d , pureed canned b la c k b e rrie s . A d d some o ld y o g u rt, some Realemon (which is cree p y enough a lo n e ), w h a t’ s le ft o f a pot o f h ib iscu sw in te rg re e n te a , honey and the ta il end o f a b o ttle o f Roseburg rose. Beat w ith eg g be a te r, le a v in g lumps o f co n ce n tra te d g e la tin . C h ill. The lumps m ight be useful as erasers or earplugs, the rest should be com posted.

A lla n T ro x le r

3H

The tops o f f b ro c c o li, c u t in b ite -s iz e s (about a cu p ) A b ig handful o f chopped spinach Six sprigs o f p a rsle y, snipped A fe w slic e d mushrooms i f you wish A h a lf o f a cu p o f fresh shelled peas B ring tw o cups o f w a te r to b o il. A dd 2 tsp . o f s a lt, the potatoes and c a rro ts . C over and simmer a bout 10 m in . (h a lf-d o n e , d o n 't ever o ve r co o k a n y th in g !) Toss in the rest o f th e ve getables and simmer u n til they are b a re ly te n d e r.

M ix 3 tbs. o f flo u r in a lit t le m ilk and s tir i t in to the soup. Then add 2 o r 3 cups o f m ilk to make i t as th ic k or as th in as you lik e . H eat just to b o ilin g , b u t do not b o il.

Then c h ill i t in th e re frig e ra to r, u n co vere d , u n til i t is tim e to e a t, o r serve i t w arm . (C h e ck the seasoning.)

This can be e a sily va rie d by a d ding w h a te ver you lik e o r have on h a n d . S ub stitu te c a u liflo w e r fo r b ro c c o li, tu rn ip s fo r potatoes, o r snip in the c h iv e s ittin g on your w in d o w s ill. Try some m inced sauteed o n io n and add e ith e r fresh d i l l o r sweet b a sil fo r a l it t le spiciness. w ith lo ve and spring fe v e r, Rick

PE ACH-APPLE-NUT-PIE

RADISHES ARE G R E A T !!

- i t 's fid d ly and a b it e xp e nsive, b u t a great h o lid a y tre a t. O u t o f season, you can use your canned peaches o r preserves and change the p ro ­ portions to 1 p a rt peaches to 2 parts apples.

W hat are the easiest things in the w h o le w o rld to grow in the gard e n ? Radishes, th a t's w h a t. N o m atter w hat the w e a th er, or the s o il, o r s k ill o f the gardener,rodishes grow and g ro w .

But w hat in the h e ll can you do w ith tw o bushels o f radishes? This Is what we d id last y e a r.

We ate them mashed.

We ate them sauteed.

We ate them in soup.

We ate them p ic k le d .

THE PIE CRUST 3 /4 cu p w h o le w he a t pastry flo u r 3 /4 cu p graham flo u r 1 /2 cu p untreated w h ite flo u r 1 /4 teaspoon sa lt 1 egg, w e ll beaten 1 / 2 cu p b u tte r or o il a dash o f lemon ju ic e as much c o ld w a te r as you need to r o ll i t o u t 1 /4 cup m ilk powder o r 1 /3 cu p in sta n t

Last summer we grew b la c k chinese radishes enmasse.

I decid e d th a t I wanted to grow som ething d iffe re n t for a ch a n ge . K in d o f d a rin g I must say. So I bought enough radish seed fo r a f if t y fo o t ro w . Can you guess how many radishes are in a f if t y fo o t ro w ? A n y w a y , we had q u ite a few radishes to deal w ith by f a ll. Here are a fe w ways th a t not o n ly w o rked , b u t tasted rea l good.

-m ix the flo u rs , s a lt and m ilk powder together -m ake a large depression in this d ry m ixture and add a ll the rem a in in g in g re d ie n ts e xce p t the w a te r; work them in w ith a k n ife or pastry c u tte r, then add enough c o ld w a te r so th a t you can gather the dough in tw o b a lls - c h ill these w h ile you make the f illin g -th e n r o ll one o u t to f i l l the p ie p la te , then make a la ttic e to p

Soak radishes over n ig h t in s a lt w a te r to m ellow out the sharpness. D ra in . Then steam u n til soft enough to put a fo rk th ro u g h . Mash w ith b u tte r, a lit t le cream works in n ic e ly to o . D o n 't fo rg e t sa lt and pepper. Serve w ith a cheddar cheese and o n io n sauce. Good eats.

THE F IL L IN G

SAUTEED O N I O N , GREEN PEPPER, A N D RADISH

1 cu p chopped apples

MASHED

RADISH, BUTTER, A N D CREAM

You d o n 't have to soak the radishes th is tim e . The sauteeing gets the bitterness o u t fo r y o u .

S lic e the o n io n , radish, and green pepper very th in .

In fa c t as th in as you can get th e m . A dd pepper and s a lt.

Sautee for six to ten m inutes., M ake a w h ite sauce. And v o iia ! A d e lic io u s and strange dish to impress yo u r lovers and frie n d s.

1 cu p chopped peaches 2 eggs w e ll beaten

1 /4 cu p chopped walnuts 1 / 2 c u p c o tta g e cheese 3 / 4 - 1 cup honey 1 /4 teaspoon sa lt 2 1 / 2 tablespoons graham flo u r 1 / 2 teaspoon v a n illa p inch o f nutmeg and ground cloves

The soup and p ickle s were to ta l flo p s .

H ere's e a tin at y o u , S w eethearts.

D o n -T e ve i T re e lo ve

M O DUS O PERANDI M ix the peaches and apples to g eth e r and co ve r w ith the o th e r in g re d ie n ts w h ic h have been m ixed to a th ic k paste. Pour in to the unbaked p ie shell and c o ve r w ith a la ttic e to p . Bake in moderate o v e n (350 degrees) fo r 35~40m inutes.

R ick S u lliv a n

35

the cold and damp north Carolina winter months have been warmed by the knowledge that rfd exists for us a ll no matter where we a re . in communes, in farms, and in cities stretching across the entire united states we can touch each other through rfd . from carl's orchard and brent's north pacific liv in g , from gavin's poetry and a l lan's Christmas, from stewart's road to malcom and olaPs forest fo lk .

&MORE LETIH iS C om ing home from the C ity , w ith its busy trip s , closed o ff p e o ple, Polk S tre e t, museums, cinem as, rock concerts, good restaurants, and the 2 a .m . syndrome in the bars— i t ’ s good to be hom e. Home w here the sea pounds against the headlands and the ra in beats down on ta ll redwoods and stunted pygmy forest a lik e . To a town th a t looks lik e a stage set (and o fte n is ), o fte n described as a b ig insane asylum w here we a ll p la y K in g o f Hearts.

Where lo n g h aire d men snuggle up to "w e lfa re mamas" h o p in g to rid e o u t the d reary w e t w in te r, u n til spring produces the in e v ita b le "M e n d o c in o S h u ffle " , and e v ­ eryone changes p la c e s . W here you can s t ill see the stars on a c le a r n ig h t and hear good m usic, amongst good people who dance w ith them selves.

There was a good tr ip g o in g this F a ll, w ith a warm bar to go to and meet gay brothers and frie n d s . A lw a ys a word o f w elcom e and a frie n d ly fa c e . But i t got closed down by bad la n d lo rd v ib e s . We lost some good people because o f th a t. People who found i t necessary to move aw ay to s u rv iv e , to move to a c ity somewhere, to a no­ th e r G ay G h e tto , and another fra n tic t r ip .

visions are dancing in my head, they all talked to me. i listened, and oh i want to hear more. i plan to travel soon, back across those states i'v e seen in the past, heading out west, towards that setting sun. searching out elusive loves and renewing old ac ­ quaintances. looking for those long haired vegetarians like me and touching friends like you. would like to hear from you before i leave, and see you when i a rriv e, touch me, rich a rd ward 1112 w illo w b ro o k greensboro, n . c . 27403

Some o f the women he,e have i t to g e th e r, w ith th e ir communes and fe s tiv a ls (no men a llo w e d ). A nd i f they d o n 't q u ite know w here they are a t— a t least they are try in g to fin d o u t. U n fo rtu n a te ly many o f them fin d it hard to re la te to gay men— they see us as "m e n "— not as th e ir brothers h a v in g shared many o f the same in d ig n itie s in the fig h t a gainst a sexist s o c ie ty .

A sid e from a fe w up fro n t gay brothers, most men are lost in th e ir games o f machoism, clo se t queens h id in g behind th e ir a rt, and "com e o ve r d u rin g the d a y , my o ld lady is n 't home t h e n .” They a re n 't concerned about fin d in g o u t w here th e y are because they th in k they have a rriv e d and to a d m it to a n y th in g else w o uld be less than " m a n ly ."

But it is hom e, O fte n i t is ve ry lo n e ly . O fte n you fin d in c re d ib ly warm and w o n derful people and wherever y o u 're a t— it's O . K . It's the best th in g go in g fo r many o f us and we hope th a t somehow i t w ill grow in to some­ th in g b e tte r.

I am a Piscean, 41, and am in to p la n ts, a n im a ls, I C h in g , T a ro t, Buddhism, A s tro lo g y , Tai C h i, grass, b oogies, th e a te r, e tc .

I w ould lik e to exchange ideas and view s w ith o ther G ays, h o p e fu lly le a d in g to a clo se r com m unity and a f u lle r life s ty le .

Robin Box 647 M e n d o cin o , CA

95460

is the day to g iv e flow ers to a fr ie n d . It is also the d e a d lin e fo r Summer Issue c o n trib u tio n s — dra w ing s, a rtic le s , poems, photos, le tte rs , ideas, n o tice s. As o f now — F eb. 2 2 — i t is u n ce rta in w hether ^4 w ill be produced in the P a cific N o rth ­ west o r in N o rth C a ro lin a . If you liv e near e ith e r p la ce and w ant to h e lp , send us a note and w e 'll le t you know w h a t's h a p pe n in g .

A friend recently sent us o subscription to RFD which we find interesting, but noted some of the letters to be on the discouraging side. N o knight in shining armor on a w hite horse is coming to whisk these guys o ff to fu lfill their dreams of fantasy. If they w ill get their "heads" together and help themselves, they would find that the world isn't as bad a place to liv e as they think or try to moke i t .

It's not easy— g ranted--bu t we have been together for seven years and what we have put together for a life of happiness of both material and physical can be done by others as w ell i f they "re a lly " want it bad enough.

We liv e on an old farm and raise as much of our own food as we can, freeze and can for the long w inter, and cut and store our supply o f wood to keep us cozy the long cold nights.

I f out there somewhere are two guys to whom rural living in an old house appeals, we have such a place that is fu lly furnished (no modern conveniences as yet) that is a v a ila b le for a small consideration for two honest sincere guys who enjoy the peoce of country living and who are w illin g to put forth the work for their own ac­ complishment o f raising their own food, hunting, fishing, and vegetcfcle garden. Anyone interested can w rite: Lovewith, RFD ^1, Farmington, M aine 04438.

Love and peace, Bob and C la ir

Brothers — here I am supercharged w ith energy from reading RFD ^ 2 . I'v e been try in g to g e t i t to g eth e r fo r a move to the co u n try — I'm so tire d o f the c it y , o f the gay tre a d m ill, re c y c la b le people and c it y trip s , b u t w ondering how to made c o n ta c t w ith o th e r c o u n try o rien te d fa g go ts. Then — v o ila — RFD. I'v e been a fra id o f be in g is o la te d , tucked o ff in the co u n try to ta lly c u t o f f from o th e r gay p e o p le , alo n e o r n e a rly so in a sea o f rednecks and s tra ig h t h ip p ie s— so I stayed in the c it y , ke e p in g ch icke n s and a ve g e ta b le garden, try in g to get m ate ria l trips to g e th e r, w h ile I looked fo r gay people not to ta lly tie d in to the c itie s .

I was a fra id o f b e in g iso la te d then I read RFD, w h ich proved the final catalyst for a lo t o f re a liza tio n , in c lu d ­ in g how re a lly iso la te d I am .

RFD was lik e b e in g tapped on the shoulder by my brothers, who I'v e been lo o k in g fo r in a ll the wrong p la c e s .. .

Feel lik e I need c o u n try fa g go t frie n d s , e s p e cia lly ’in the N o rth w e s t, since I ' l l be m oving there — would lik e to share le tte rs , poems, dreams, v is its , w h atever there is to be shared.

I ' m 2 6, a poet/>ham an/S. F . wri ter/fo g g o t/g ard e n e r/ c o o k /c h ild /h a tc h ed out of the egg of a Haight-Ashbury street fre a k .

My major commitment is to helping create a commu­ nal fam ily of gay people living and working and grow­ ing together in harmony with eoch other and the Earth our Mother in the flow of Tao, breaking down the barriers that keep us apart and building a supportive way of liv in g /b e in g together. Right now we’ re 4 ,2 women and 2 men — we'd welcome hearing from folks who might want to explore throwing in with us.

Also, w e're hoping to buy land this summer — at least 20 acres in the general area of Eugene — Junction G t y — so any o f you who want gay neighbors, drop us a line when the farm next door goes up for sale.

Anybody feel like w riting , do.

-Caradoc 1155 Francisco Berkeley, C a lif. 94702

Your m agazine is fu ll o f lo v in g , se n sitive human beings w h ich made me read co ve r to co ve r w ith o u t sto p p in g .

H aving spent some o f my most aw a ke n in g years in the peace and c a lm o f the c o u n try I fe e l I can ve ry w e ll understand most people's need to re tre a t to a sim pler and ca lm er e x is te n c e . I also can understand the great need to share th a t w ith others o f lik e mind and so u l.

I am now liv in g in an 81 ye a r o ld house w h ich I have bought here in M in n e a p o lis w ith frie n d s. M y reason for re tu rn in g to the c it y a fte r so many g ro w ing peaceful years in the c o u n try are numerous and d e fin ite ly v a lid fo r me.

N o w th a t I am here I can o n ly try to share a p a rt o f that calmness w h ich the breath o f nature has g ive n me w h ile so close to her bosom. We try to keep co u n try vibes in our home and my lif e style is re la xe d and as easy going as possible. M y brothers and sisters liv e here w ith me and to g e th e r we try to send o u t as much good energy as possible. You d o n 't have to be on to p o f a m ounfian fb w a tch a sun set or fa ll in lo v e . The co u n try is fu ll o f good p e o p le , my wishes go o u t to a ll you co u n try men to lo ve one a n o th e r. A nd i f by chance you fin d y o u rse lf in a c it y , even fo r a d a y , I hope y o u 'll come to a house such as mine — so you w o n 't fe e l so fa r from home a fte r a ll. M y lo ve to a ll men e ve ryw h e re .

-H a n k Schusser 2414 Portland So. M in n e a p o lis , M innesota 55404

31

COUNTRY ROADS (continued from page 2 6 )

I liv e on a rural c o lle c tiv e composed m ainly o f sex­ u a lly free people and some are g a y, m yself in c lu d e d .

O ve r a year ago d u rin g a discussion pro and con com ing out o f our commune, and becom ing in vo lve d in the urban c e n ter 25 miles away (Vernon), a member o f my peer group comm ented, "There is no room fo r faggots in the new le ft and they are e sp e cia lly useless at any com m unity o rg a n iz in g ."

I was pissed o ff, I wanted to stomp on'em ! Instead, I started com m uting d a ily from farm to c ity o rg a n iz in g ! I rented an o ld o ffic e and got use o f a press. First we (another had jo in e d me) started to establish the needs o f the com m unity by h a vin g questionaires in our paper, d o ­ ing a lo t o f c o u rt-w a tc h in g and keeping a record o f each person passing through our door (type o f problem , e t c . ) .

Then we h it the lo c a l bureaucrats for funds. A fte r a lo t o f fu c k in g around we got money and more people joined us. We began a d vo catin g the rights o f peo ple, W e lfa re , Unem ploym ent In s ., Workmen's Com pensation, C iv il L ib e rtie s, G ay Rights, P ara-legal A id and D e b t-co u n se l­ in g , e tc . W ith o n ly fiv e people we started a food C o -op w h ich now is a m illio n d o lla rs a year business, establish­ ed a d a y -c a re ce n te r, a youth hostel, a housing c o -o p and a crisis c e n te r, (g a sp l) Future projects " w e ll on the w ay" but not happening y e t are: a housing re g is try , a c o -o p T. V . s ta tio n , an a lte rn a tiv e school, a free m edical c lin ic and, best o f a ll, an a lte rn a tiv e a g ric u ltu re and energy use c e n te r.

(This last one w ill be happening th is summ er!)

O u r c o lle c tiv e is open to visito rs i f you wanna com e.

W rite me for a map, O . K . ? (N o e le c t r ic ity . ) M ay Peace, Love and Power show the w ay, Love, K e n , B. C. This is my firs t rura l e xp e rie n ce , and as fo llo w s , my firs t non-gay e x p e rie n ce . D uring this tim e I have le a rn ­ ed to le t go o f many fantasies. It's been a very intense period and a f u ll, ric h o n e . M y experiences in so litu d e have brought about a g re a t, new sense o f energy and d i­ re c tio n . And I'v e chosen to share some o f th a t energy w ith c h iId r e n .. . .as there are fe w gay men on M a u i. For me, so much le a rn in g and love has come from the c h ild ­ ren and th e ir parents w ith whom I re la te . I see a w hole new dim ension o f my s e x u a lity . And my heart sings w ith a new v o ic e .

I w ould lik e to extend my energies to any who come to M aui for v is its , and I'm also open to sharing thoughts and feelings by le tte r.

M ahalo fo r sharing your thoughts w ith me.

L a ike a lo h a — peaceful lo v e , John, M aui

38

I raise 35 acres o f f r u it for a living (5 acres cherimoyas, 10 acres lim es, 10 acres k iw i fru it, 10 acres avocados) on a h ill betw een M ik e 's Egg Ranch and the Rawhide Horse Farm . This is one o f the few frost-free areas in C a lifo rn ia , and there has not been a frost on my h ill for 18 years (but severe frosts each winter in the valleys on each side) because o f unusual thermal conduction which causes c o ld a ir to flo w d ow nw ard. It is one o f *he very fe w places in the U n ited States where the rare cherimoya fr u it can be grown co m m e rcia lly (the Florida clim ate is too h o t and h u m id ).

The fe w gays I know in this area are very closeted, very co n se rva tive , very tra d itio n a l (most still wear c rew cu ts), and to ta lly opposed to gay liberation in A N Y form.

H ow ever, an M C C started in Oceanside, 16 miles aw ay, and th a t town also has three gay bars fille d with Marines from nearby Camp Pendelton. But those kids have 0 conciousness.

O rga n ize d hom osexuality (eith e r the traditional bars or gay o rg a n iza tio n s) has been an urban thing. Rural areas everyw here in the w orld s tic k to very traditional life ­ styles and re lig io n s (I was brought up a Mormon on a Utah c a ttle ra n c h .) W ith in a mile o f me are four chicken farm s, two horse ranches, the Dulan C a ttle Ranch, one d a iry , a large strawberry f ie ld , at least 30 fruit orchards, two vegetables farms, two grape vineyards, four cut flo w e r fie ld s , so I guess the area is "ru ra l".

Yours, C raig, California Richard and I have spent much time traveling and vis­ itin g our gay friends across the country, both rural and c it y o rie n te d . We discussed the possibility o f visiting the R. F. D. subscribers and re p o rtin g back to the maga­ z in e w ith drawings by Richard and commentaries by my­ s e lf about w hat is happening with our country brothers.

You m ight say lik e "ro v in g reporters" for R .F .D . O ur heads, I b e lie v e , are in the rig h t place for this sort o f nom adic e ffo rt a t this tim e .

We w ould lik e to hear from those subscribers who w o uld lik e to be v isite d fo r not more than a day (un­ less o therw ise in v ite d ). We could w rite in advance and ask w hether a v is it would be cool a t a specific tim e.

I m yself have been liv in g in an isolated spot in the coastal mountains o f O regon fo r the past several years.

Richard jo in e d me about a ye a r ago and together we have shared much lo ve and m ello w vibes relating with o ur co u n try brothers and sisters.

W e look forw ard to hearing from you and getting to know you , and hope th a t w e 'd have a chance to meet soon.

Love to a ll Tony and Richard c /o RFD N o w d o n 't fo rg e t to w r ite . Tony and Richard want to v is it y o u . I t ' l l be n ice to hear how other country faggots support them selves, how they are changing their lives and those around them .

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IN V E R N A L IS T E M P O R IS

IN S P R IN G

This Spring c a ro l was firs t w ritte n down in 1582. The sim ple tune may be sung by one v o ic e or by many in u n ison. A n y stringed instrum ents, flu te , re co rd e r, drum , sticks, tam bourine or such is a pleasant a d d itio n .

The English tra n s la tio n is q u ite fre e . The pra n cin g u n ico rn and solemn b ird were croch e te d by my frie n d A lla n Berube who was inspired by 17th ce n tury Ita lia n la ce w o rk in the G ardner Museum in Boston.

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2 Tferra venial fiori bus et nonuf zi rare meswiilrcnt (vmtibus et /oris dukorr.

Aqua iewpestotibus can't, tier, impribus Sol comsiimptis mibibus dulci plenus rare. lucet cum ot lore. raiiiis poteutibus

First Verse In Spring jo y springs u p .

The c o ld retreats and the s w a llo w plays h e ra ld : O ve r la n d , o v e r sea, in the woods the splendor comes o n .

The w o rld is made n e w . Body q u icke n s, Soul's sorrows d ie , in the g e n tle season.

Second Verse The earth bloom s, the forest bre a th e s.

Birds d e lig h t in th e ir s in g in g , sin g in g s w e e tly .

The waters are c a lm . Soft rains sweep the sky. Clouds fade in the warm lig h t o f the sun.

38

Tl,e

MA01CK of U e UU jU F e lix M in tz The m agick o f the moon on my so u l.

M y s p irit soars underneath its rays.

A nd when i t is f u l l .

If is funny th a t even though I am aware when the moon is f u ll, I fo rg e t when I go outside fo r a w a lk to the neighborhood fa g ­ got bar o r to a frie n d 's house or to the movies or to a rap g ro u p .

I co u ld never fo rg e t the sumptuous g lo w in g fu ll moon as it shines so in tensely when I go fo r a w a lk to the outhouse or to the flo w e r gar­ den o r to the d ir t road or to the meadow or to the w e ll.

How co u ld I fo rg e t? It is so b rig h t we used to jest th a t we could read the N e w Y o rk Times w h ile s ittin g on the lum ber p ile .

A nd w a tch in g i t rise its crimson hue o ver the m ountainous h o rizo n Ic te r and la te r, so aware o f its a s tro lo g ic a l p la ce , o f h isto ry, o f the cosmos.

And I fo rg e t to look up in San F ra n cisco . It co u ld be one among the many street lig h ts .

The m agick and g lo ry o f my moon. A ll his­ to ry . A ll subconscious.

How I miss y o u .

I am searching through spoce fo r my CORE. Through the streets o f San F ra n cisco .

Through the lushness o f Lavender H i l l .

L o o kin g . S p ir itu a lly g ro w in g .

U n fo ld in g my m in d. ! go to classes o f psychic e xp e rie n ce and o c tin g and T a ro t.

I lay in my te n t in the woods lis te n in g to the flie s and the w in d and the fe rn .

I go d a n c in g *o foggot bars in s m o k e -fille d space le ttin g o u t a ll tension to h o t soul m usic.

I dance under the stars and the moon, tw ir lin g to the -hythm o f the a ir — and under the sun in betw een ham­ m ering up the n e x t p ie c e o f s id in g .

I meet new faces, new minds, new interests, new fa g ­ gots, new sex among the adventures o f the b u stlin g c it y .

So much to d o .

I meet new flo w e rs , new weeds, new apples, new sounds among my fa m ily and my m ountain o f Lavender I learn and d e v e lo p and disco ve r m yself.

In d iffe re n t w ays.

A t d iffe re n t tim es.

W a n tin g to ble n d the d iffe re n t tim es.

O f my c o u n try and my c it y 3000 miles a p a rt.

To merge my tw o environm ents.

M y two selves.

Someday w e 'll be to g e th e r.

77T

^ 7R

I was so e x c ite d when a frie n d gave me a s o o n -to -b lo o m h y a c in th .

Hyacinth.

I w ould n o t have to w a it u n til S p rin g .

As i t bloom ed and d ie d w ith in days inside a tin y pot on my p la n t ta b le , I th o u g h t o f w hat a c it y tr ip my head is in . Instant g ra tific a tio n .

I w ould not have to w a it u n til S p rin g .

Then I daydream ed and remembered how , in m id -F a il, on my land 3000 miles a w a y, I cle a re d a bed o f d ir t and turned and w orked the so il and c a re fu lly planted ten h y a cin th bulbs six inches deep and watered the fresh bed and loved each b u lb and sm iled on them and to ld them to ta ke care and blossom to the sky when la te Spring shines w arm . N a t u r e - a lly . O rg a n ic ch a n g e .

A nd there they rest— g ro w in g , le a rn in g , ch a n g in g — as they make lo ve w ith th e ir frie n d s— the e a rth , the snow, the moon, the a ir , the sun.

A nd I lo o k o ver a t my San Francisco h y a c in th "re a d y to -b lo o m " — now flow erless and tu rn in g brown on my p la n t ta b le inside my room .

I w o u ld rath e r w a it u n til S p rin g .

the le a th e r lo o k , th e y sing d rip p in g tanned blood from g rin n in g teeth b e a t me, maim me o n ly just d o n 't do to me w hat y o u 'v e done to fa ir bessy her b e lly stretched across yo u r breast slashes draw n to g eth e r by the chains o f her one and the buttons down yo u r fro n t, lik e so many b u lle ts the le a th e r is cla im e d as man's passion anim al fashion, the lo o k the same as yo u r m other's m ink a ttire the fo x , the ra b b it, th e tig e r and more th e ir eyes, replaced w ith glass, d rip p in g lim p upon her pushed-up udders the m in k, the fo x , the tig e r, they w ould b ite her i f they c o u ld , b u t they c a n 't the ra b b it, the cow they too hang lim p , unable to run as they w ould and yo u r m other stands proud her d y in g carcass held high the epitom e o f la d ih o o d , and a ll th a t it 's k ille d and the man, he stands t a lle r as, o f course, a man should w ith his b ru te strength stretched o u t in the su ffe rin g o f another the cheapness, the p ity unseen in his dumb eyes w ith his v ic tim s , th e ir la u g h te r, th e ir co m fo rt th a t dies — g a vin d illa r d

SPRING, SPIRIT, AND FAGGOTRY

A tim e o f g ro w th , A be in g who grows ane w .

I have grown in the S p ir it. It has been p a in fu l.

The joy has been alm ost to much to bear at tim es. B ut, I am g ro w in g .

D o n -T e ve l T re e lo ve ie nin e tee n ye a r o ld Jesus Freak

March 2 2 ,1 9 7 0 Today is a Sunday. It's the n ig h t o f a super d a y !

The sky was c le a r and the w ind a c h illy - w a r m . It was a day to rem em ber, the Day o f Jesus in Jerusalem .

Today was Palm Sunday.

42

M arch 2 5 ,1 9 7 0 I fe e l kin d o f depressed because o f m yself. I'm not even as good as I th o ug h t I was. It's a good th in g I found o u t th o ug h , even though i t hurts so b a d . Jesus made me re a liz e the tr u th .

A p r il 1 5 ,1 9 7 0 It's been ra in b e a u tifu l o u t a ll o f last w e e k . It's s t ill ra in in g to n ig h t. I t brings back so many memories.

Some sad, some Jesus b e a u tifu l.

May 16,19 7 0 I was super depressed Monday. I was reody to le t Jesus 9 0 , and be m iserable in p o litic s . D o n 't ask for the lo g ic , I'm s till confused m yself. I fe lt em pty, h o llo w .

My mind was o n ly dust from an Egyptian tom b, my heart was c o ld and h e a v y . I hod a c tu a lly fo rg o tte n what Jesus had done fo r me, in p o litic s , sex, mind m atters, lo v e , peace, and Jesus' a c c e p ta n c e !!! I p rayed.

Some times it's hard fo r me to understand why Jesus s till loves me. I sure lo ve him more than I'v e loved anyother person in my lif e .

M ay 3 0 ,19 7 0 Today has been h o t, hum id, and c lo u d y . Just lik e eve ryo th e r day this w e e k. B ut, G od has been w o rkin a lo t, PRAISE G O D ! ! 0 , h o w I love Jesus! O , how I love Jesus! O , how I lo ve Jesus! Because he firs t loved me! . . . . I'v e been reading M a tt. It's such a cool b o o k.

And Jesus is such a cool head! I can trust him no matter and th a t's re a lly h e a vy.

an aw akening at tw enty A p ril 2,1971 I look a t m yself. W hat do I see? A man beyond the beyond. I feel almost lo st. I f it w asn't fo r Jesus I ' Id o f give n u p . Why is i t th a t I can not liv e the lif e God has g iven me to l i v e ? I w ant G o d ’ s life style so much.

I long fo r nothing else.

A p ril 20,1971 L ife , here then gone.

M y life seems to be fly in g in tim e . Days mean n o th in g , a ll is a haze o f m e ltin g . I sw irl around on book pages and look up in to caves. I wish a stillness o f noise w ould re lie v e my q u ie t vacuum .

A p r il 22,1971 I th in k I am de a d. I ' ve been w a itin g fo r my funeral and condem nation. I'v e fin a lly adm itted I'm homosexual. Where do I go from h e re ? I guess I'm lo st.

M ay 1,1971 Today is Today.

The lig h t, co n tra ry to popular opinon is not d y ­ in g . Unless o f course, the stars are d yin g from a c h ic k ­ en pox e p id e m ic . The grass is green above the o ld brown bodies. M y h a ir is short a g a in . I w ill sing new songs and not be hoarse. I ce le b ra te lif e and ignore it's proper s p e llin g .R E J O IC E !

M y mind can re la x .

The sun is shining and I am absorbed in to b ri 11— an ce . How co u ld I expect release from a darkness in so short o f spring?

Have I found p a rtia l n irv a n a ? Is the West here or gone? It doesn't re a lly m atte r. I am absorbed in to the s u n .. . . . Feel the w in d . Look and be a l i v e . . . .

I w i l l praise god; the god o f n ature, the god o f ro c k , the god o f h u m a n ity. My mind w i l l fin d th e many e xp la n a tio n s.

I can fe e l. I w i l l not liste n to those who say I can not fe e l. If they are dead le t them ro t in th e ir own houses. I w i l l not fo llo w . I am a liv e , I must fe e l. I am not ashamed to be o rg a n ic . I am b io lo g ic a l and I can be what I am . REJOICE!

at tw enty one a new lif e emerges M arch 25,19 7 2 It's a strange lif e we a ll liv e . It's even stranger to liv e a gay lif e . A t least it's a good lif e and I liv e happier than most. A n yw a y on the surface I fe e l people are on downers most o f the tim e . O w e ll, people ore to be what they a re a llo w e d to b e .

I do love m yself. That's enough.

A p ril 1,1972 God is more than any book or cree d , god is mother earth and fa th er sky. God is the god o f life , straig h t or g a y . God le t me love the o n ly way I know how !

M ay 5,1972 Last n ig h t I dream t th a t I had a garden and was happy. A lo t o f friends; green, fu rry , w in g e d , and human, liv e d w ith me. The house was a three room earthen mound. It was part o f a clu ste r o f about six o ther structures. I had a s ilv e r and grey horse. M agic live d in the woods. There were ta lk in g binds and a n i­ mals, also elves, fa irie s , tro lls , and a w iz a rd . It was a far o u t l i f e . I wish i t would come tru e .

I guess I ' ve read the hobbits too many tim es.

— kt tw enty tw o , a spring o f poetry M arch 2 7 ,19 7 3 A Chant (repeat as long as necessary) to liv e in a cle a n w o rld , me, T e ve l, son o f Summer a mouse person cousin to the dragon fly and d a n d e lio n . to liv e in a cle a n w o rld , me, T e ve l,

A p r il 9,1 97 3 lo o kin g gay queer homosexual "d iffe re n t" an honest to goodness p e rve rt.

Gee guys, I thought I was just good ole'Tevel.

A p r il 15,1973 H urt. fe e l the p a in , reach in to my warm green guts, squeeze my p a in , fe e l the slym , the p a in . fe e l the h u rt, ba b y, you put i t th e re .

M ay 1,1 97 3 fly away fly away liv e lik e sky fish in a b lu e and burgundy w o rld .

M ay 2 4 ,1 9 7 3 Repeat 100 tim es; to buy a farm to buy a farm to buy a farm then do i t .

tw enty th re e , we buy land A p r il 1,1974 I'm s ittin g in my k itc h e n d rin k in g lemon grass te a , glad th a t I'm a liv e and m e. As fo r this a fte rn o o n , we are going to the la w ye r's to fin a liz e the land d e a l. A t last Rick and I have a hom e.

Spring 1975 F lo w in g , F lo w in g , F lo w in g w ith the M usic o f the s p ir it.

I have f in a lly opened u p . I t amazes m e. I have f in a lly found faggots who I trust w ith my personal m ag ic, my pow e r. How long has i t b e e n ? O v e r 25 years ago, I'm sure. Long b e fore the b irth o f this b o d y, a n yw a y.

F e e lin g the tru st, kn o w in g I w a sn 't th ro w in g my pearls before sw in e , b u t b efore lovers who w ould handle them g e n tly . A nd in retu rn share my power and th e ir pow er. N o s te a lin g . N o d e c e p tio n .

N in e o f us s ittin g , equals. F eeding each o th e r, co m fo rtin g each o th e r, re jo ic in g in the m agic o f fa g g o try .

C ountry s p ir it.

C ountry fa g g o t.

F e e lin g the plants g iv e energy to th e c o n ve rsa tio n .

The tu rtle lis te n in g , w o n d e rin g w h a t w ould happen.

Faggot M a g ic .

Faggot S p ir it.

Faggot Power.

In d ir e c t c o n ta c t w ith the Energy o f the E arth, the H o ly Sound the personal v o ic e the h o ly vib ra tio n s f illin g spaces never f ille d b e fo re .

Burned because o f our p o w e r, bum fa g g o t, b u m .

Burned because o f our s p ir it, bum fa g g o t, b u rn .

W itch e s, Faggots Faggots, W itches b u rn in g , b u r n in g . . . . destroy our power h id e in the pages o f a b ib le fe a r, hate h id e in the pages o f la w books Just fo r a w h ile .

O u r pow e r, our s p ir it, W e w ill renew the Earth, W itches and Faggots.

A p r il 2 5 ,1 9 7 4 The M id -W e s t G ay Pride C onference was very fin e . We met a lo t o f super p e o p le . There were 18 people (gay men) who are in to a gay or m ixed rural c o l l e c t i v e l i f e style a t the co n fe re n ce . I thought th a t was p re tty far o u t. We ta lk e d about sta rtin g a news le tte r for co u n try gays.

M ay 16,1974 When I was in the garden yesterday a ll by m yself, I had the best fe e lin g s I ' ve ever had I was f in a lly w o rk­ ing from the basics. M y own basics. P la n t. G ro w .

H arvest. Eat. N o th in g is b e tte r.

The Sun. Co causes me to sm ile and fe e l good even though my body s t ill c o m p la in e d , my body knows th a t we w i l l make i t . Tevel is a co u n try b o y.

I burned the pine branches as the o ffe rin g to the Earth S p ir it. Co in h ir strange kindness, tender and te rr ib le . N e v e r m a lic io u s . The f r u it trees w i l l g ro w .

N in e o f us. T o g e th e r.

And w hat happened last n ig h t w h ile b u rn in g the sacred w o o d ? Was i t a reunion o f past lo ve rs? A m eeting o f the c o lle c tiv e consciousness? A penecostal e xp e r­ ie n c e ? We lau g h ed , hugged, kissed, re jo ic e d ! We formed a re lig io n o fF a g g o try .

Q ueers, you have the s p ir it, you have pow e r.

Look, search, and e x a lt yourselves in th a t pow er!

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M oon in Cancer know n, th a t is, as'q \ . g / tro lo g y as a body o f Dear T on y, / / kn o w le d g e — sym bolic In your last le tte r you ta lke d about h a vin g your kn o w le d g e — w h ich tries c h a rt done and about the re to understand the w o rld .

The U niverse is e n tro p ic . Its a liz a tio n s you had about y o u r­ rS ' s e lf. A fe w years ago, I had a S / na tura l state is d iso rd e r, chaos. p re tty lo w o p in io n about a stro lo g y— H um ankind, how ever, has this need :5 i to b rin g order to chaos. We do it in a ll th a t cra p in the newspapers. N one many ways through tra d itio n a l r e lig io n , o f i t ever d id "com e tr u e ." But when I be ­ through the m yraid o f p h ilo so p h ica l "-is m s " , and gan studying i t (D eborah was one o f the in sp ira tio n s), through the o c c u lt sciences (and the n atural sciences, I re a liz e d th a t "Y o u r Future in the Stars" by S te lla was to o ). Both Eastern and W estern systems o f thought are to ta lly d iffe re n t from w hat astrology is re a lly a b o u t, or just try in g to make some sense o u t o f the in sa n ity we liv e at least my p e rce p tio n o f w hat astrology is a b o u t. in . A nd astrology is just one o f the many w ays. The L ike alm ost everyone else, I began by casting my own c h a rt, and i t was indeed a r e v e la tio n . Some o f the in ­ Z o d ia c signs represent the various "ty p e s " o f human te rp re ta tio n s put in to words vague fe e lin g s I had about beings, the houses in c lu d e a ll our e a rth ly a ffa irs , and the m yself, b u t ones I had not been a b le to a rtic u la te . planets are the q u a litie s and aspects o f our re la tin g w ith (Sometimes I need a good knock in the h e a d .) There in each o th e r. Put a ll to g e th e r, they present the to ta lity fro n t o f me was my own mandala to lo o k a t, to m editate o f human existence w ith a ll its perm utations and com ­ o n , to learn fro m . There were my p o te n tia litie s . There b in a tio n s . Tarot cards and the 64 hexagrams o f the I were my " n e g a tiv e " aspects. S tudying them was and C hfng, I th in k , are o ther attem pts at a "w o rld e x p e ri­ ence" shorthand. s till is b rin g in g me to a greater understanding o f m yself.

When I was last in the C ity I ta lke d w ith another fa g ­ R ight now , I am co m fo rta b le w ith a stro lo g y's method got a s tro lo g e r. He to ld me th a t o fte n gayness is in d i­ o f in te rp re tin g the w orld as i t o b vio u sly deals w ith cycle s.

And I am tu n in g in to cycle s more and m ore. The last cated by a square or opp osition betw een Venus and Sa­ two years here have been the firs t tim e I have been both turn or Venus and Uranus. When I came home, I looked in one p la ce long enough to w atch the seasonal changes at the six charts I had done fo r gay men. Indeed, a ll and have been aware enough to w atch th e m . And the had one o f those aspects. This is just a flu k e , I th o u g h t. firs t tim e th a t I have been ca lm and centered enough to So I got o u t the charts o f the s tra ig h t people I had done, pay a tte n tio n to my own m onthly em otional c y c le w h ich and none o f them had any aspect betw een those pla n e ts. alm ost alw ays peaks when the moon is in A rie s and hits Since then I have done more ch a rts, and th a t re la tio n s h ip bottom when it is in L ib ra . And I am grow ing closer to s till holds tru e fo r fa g go ts. I d o n 't know about Lesbians those c ycle s and rhythm s. as I have o n ly done tw o charts fo r gay wom en.

W e ll, I'v e ram bled on long enough. Say h e llo to the The w h o le gay th in g got me interested in studying P a cific fo r me. I do miss i t . m ore. In the last ye a r or so, I have been d isco ve rin g Love, a d iffe re n t side to astrology th a t seems not to be w e ll Stew art

YS

S p rin g , Summer, A u tu m n, W in te r— an issue o f RFD fo r each season o f the y e a r.

Please subscribe. Then a t least you get to see w hat n ice brow n envelopes we h a ve . A ye a r's subscription is o n ly $ 2 .0 0 . A sin g le copy is 50<. We have a fe w o f RFD ^2 (W in te r) le f t . Sorry, a ll the RFD ^1 (A u tu m n ) are gone, name:________________________________________ start my sub. w ith issue address: tu ta t "rffOT§,"p. 6 .t e s x , 's r s fr e e r -------g t r jr

ttots

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45

RESOURCES

A N N O U N C I N G : A M id -W e s t Journal o f Spontaneous O v e rflo w o f F airy Feelings R ecalled in T ra n q u ility , te n a tiv e ly t itle d Sm ithereens; Cut o ff th a t B ra in ; The Square D e ific ; P rairie Poodles; e tc . We w o u ld lik e to d e v e lo p a c u lt u r a l/ p o lit ic a l o u tle t for gay fo lks liv in g in the M idW est who s t ill fe e l re v o lu tio n is p rim a rily so cia l and essential; th a t lo ve is sublim e and p rim a rily personal; th a t a esthetics are r e a l, in s p ira tio n a l and r a d ic a l— th a t the good gay film has y e t to be mode; th a t consciousness is a h ig h e r human v irtu e ; th a t one way or the o th e r i t a ll comes down to o r takes o f f from M u l o r M o o ! " ; th a t th in g s are never sym m e trica l; th a t shapes o f thoughts are as im p o rta n t as the shapes o f land; th a t be a uty is godliness b u t o fte n beside the p o in t; th a t godliness is s t ill here fo r the m aking; th a t M arx and Buddha are kissing cousins. So th e n , i f you w ould please lik e to h e lp in th is v e n tu re , send pla ys, poems, f ic t io n , graphics to 1000 O h io , Law rence, Kansas 66044 c / o W heat Dream s. Subscriptions are $ 2 .0 0 fo r 5 issues. The fir s t numb"er w ill be o u t la te F ebruary.

If y o u 'd |ust lik e to have one issue, to ch e ck i t o u t, th a t's fin e to o . Hope a ll is w e ll h ith e r and y o n .

T 'U N G J E N .

H O M O S E X U A L IT Y IN LITERATURE The firs t gay b ook c a ta lo g ever p u b lish e d . O v e r 1500 items o f f ic t io n , b io g ra p h y , n o n - fic tio n . Send $2 d e ­ d u c tib le from firs t order to Elysian F ields, Booksellers, 8 1 -1 3RF B roadw ay, Elm hurst, N Y 11373

G e m in i, 3 8 . 6 ^ acre farm in southwestern Pennsylvania, commutes 50 m iles each way to w ork in P ittsburgh.

Looking fo r someone 2 8 -3 5 who can w ork a lo n e and take over d a y -to -d a y m anagem ent. R o o m /b o a rd /p o cke t money in exchange fo r yo u r home re p a ir/fa rm s k ills .

A lso w illin g to share e v e ry th in g e q u a lly w ith th e rig h t person. M ust have yo u r own means o f tra n sp o rta tio n , p re fe ra b ly p ic k - u p . Shop room a v a ila b le fo r c r a fts / business. Been here l£ years, exp e rie n ce d the in it ia l b re a k in g -in and g ro w ing season. Have ch icke n s, geese, large garden and c o rn fie ld , rem ainder in pasture. In tersted in d ra ft horses, wood heat and a s im p le r, 19th ce n tury typ e o f e x is te n c e . If you have s k ills and are in te re ste d , le t me hear from y o u .

G eorge Sloss RD #1, Box 75 West A le x a n d e r, PA

15376

We are a group o f 3 -5 gay men p la n n in g on m oving to the co u n try by summer o f '7 5 , and are lo o k in g fo r o th er gay brothers to jo in us in liv in g on th e la n d . We w ill e ith e r be m oving to C a lifo rn ia 's G o ld R u sh/M other Lode co u n try o f th e western Sierras o r maybe to M en docino C o u n ty . The site w ill be ab o ut 1-2 hours from some m edium -sized c it y . We w a n t brothers th a t w ant to liv e o f f the la n d , raise th e ir own fo o d , some chickens and a m ilk c o w . As an added source o f incom e we hope to have a peoples' ranch o r p la ce fo r gay c it y men to come fo r the weekend and camp o u t and re la x . L ike to c o n ­ ta c t gay men in C a lifo rn ia now o r men p la n n in g on m oving to C a lifo rn ia in th e near fu tu re . We seek d e d i­ cated p e o p le , ready to make a com m itm ent fo r th e fu ­ tu re . Please w r ite . Love and peace to a ll RFD readers and rural gay men and gay wom en.

Steve G insberg 509 Verm ont S t.

San F rancisco, CA

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94107

Rod B . says th a t w here he live s (3 0 m iles from Salem , O reg o n ) is an id e a l spot fo r anyone r e tir in g who like s a fe r t ile garden and th e grandeur o f mountains and fo re st.

G ood properties are a v a ila b le from $7500.

Rod offers h o s p ita lity because he would e n jo y h a vin g a co m p a tib le guy (guys) liv in g nearby fo r n e ighbors. I f in te re ste d , please w rite Rod B . , c / o RFD.

L a v e n d e r Country An Album of Gay Music

By mail: S4.50 postpaid. Wash, state residents add 5.3% sales tax.

Gay Community Services, Dept. G P.O. Box 22228 __________ E&st Union Station, Seattle. Wash. 98122

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-airy tricycles O R L A D IE S , C IR L S A N D B O Y S .

Y M F C . C O .,Elyria,O .

G A Y C O M M U N IT Y NEWS A w e e k ly forum o f news, fe a ture s, and o p in io n fo r gay women and m en. Sent in se a le d , n o -p e e k e n v e lo p e . In USA: 10 wks fo r $ 2 .5 0 , 25 wks fo r $ 5 .0 0 , and 52 wks fo r $ 1 0 . 0 0 . C heck to " G C N " to G C N Subscriptions, D ept E -3 5 , 22 Brum­ f ie ld , S tre e t, Boston, M A 02108.

These are some o f the bookstores and gay comm unity centers who are s e llin g RFD.

Last y e a r the emphasis was on our co m m o n a lity and p ride in b e in g G a y . This ye a r we w ill also ta ke a lo o k a t the v a rie ty o f life s ty le s in the G ay C o m m u n ity. By a tte m p tin g to share and understand these d iffe re n c e s , we hope to come to a b e tte r understanding o f w hat we are a ll a b o u t.

A c tiv itie s and events in c lu d e guest speakers A u th o r R ita M ae Brown and Tommi o f the R adical Q ueens, two film s — " A V e ry N a tu ra l T h in g " and "W om en in R e v o lt", com m unity m eals, a d a n ce , and many workshops some o f w h ich a re : G >m m unications, M e d ia , F un draising, C o u n se lin g, C o l­ le c tiv e s , Small Towns, S & M , Prisons and In s titu tio n s , M e n ta l H o sp ita ls, Com ing O u t, G ro w in g O ld , G ay C iv il R ights, Love R e lationships, Fem inine Id e n tific a ­ tio n , H e a lth C a re, M arxism , G ay C h ris tia n ity , Trans­ s e x u a lity , F ilm , P e d o p h ilia , C h ild c a re , Country S p iri­ t u a lit y , O u t in th e C o u n try , C o u n try -C ity , Lesbians in the C o u n try , Dance and S e x u a lity , N o n -S e p a ra tist Lesbian Fem inism , B is e x u a lity , G a y C r e a tiv ity , Rela­ tin g o f G ay M ales to S tra ig h t W om en, B la ck and G a y , Lesbian C iv il R ights, Lesbian S k ills , R adical Fem inist B io lo g y , Lesbian Sex C o m m u n ica tio n , Lesbians and R e lig io n , H istory o f Lesbians, Lesbians in Prison, and m ore.

For more in fo rm a tio n , w rite : G a y L ib e ra tio n Front Student A c tiv itie s C enter U n iv e rs ity o f Iowa Iowa C ity , Iowa 52240

H u n ts v ille , A labam a A G ood Book Store, 210 A ndrew Jackson NE V a n co u ve r, B ritish C olum bia V anguard, 1208 G r a n v ille D u th ie 's Paperback, 919 Robson A re a ta , C a lifo rn ia N o rth to w n Books, 1604 G Street G a rb e rv ille , C a lifo rn ia O range Cat Goes To M a rk e t, Church Street San F ra n cisco , C a lifo rn ia Paperback T ra ffic , on Castro 'tw ix 18 & 19 Streets M odern Times, 3800 - 17th Street B o u ld e r, C olorado B r illig W orks, 1322 C o lle g e A venue D enver, C olorado Together Books, 636 East 17th A venue W ashington, D . C .

Lambda Rising, 1724 2 0th Street N W C h ica g o , Illin o is Beckman House, 3519 N „ Halsted Street Iowa C ity , Iowa Epstein's, on the C lin to n Street M a ll C am bridge, Massachusetts Redbook, 136 R iver Street L in c o ln , Nebraska L in c o ln G ay A c tio n G rou p , 333 N . 14th A lb u q u e rq u e , N e w M e x ic o L iv in g Batch Bookstore, 2406 C entral A venue SE N e w Y o rk , N e w Y o rk O scar W ild e M em orial Bookshop, 15 C hristopher S t.

T oro n to, O n ta rio G la d Day Books, 139 Seaton Street C o rv a llis , O regon Grass Roots, 227 SW 2nd Eugene, O regon Book and Tea, 1646 E 19th Son o f Koobdooga, 651 E 13th P ortland, O regon The Looking G lass, 421 SE T a ylo r Brian Thomas Books, 822 SW 10th U n ite d Front Bookstore, 2266 NE Lovejoy P h ila d e lp h ia , Pennsylvania G io v a n n i's Room, 232 South Street S. B u rlin g to n , Verm ont V erm ont Bookstore, 100 Dorset Street B e llin g h a m , W ashington C a ravan, 2073 H o lly S treet E. S e a ttle , W ashington Red and B la c k , 4736 U n iv e rs ity Way NE L e ft B ank, 92 Pike G a y Com m unity C e n te r, 1726 - 16th A venue M adison, W isconsin W hole Earth Learning C om m unity, 817 E. Johnson S t, A d e la id e , A u s tra lia D r. Duncan R e vo lu tio n Bookshop P .O . Box 12, N T H , A d e la id e , 5006

H7

In the summer days when d a y lig h t seemed fo re ve r w ith o u t m orning, e ve n in g , n ig h t and a ll the leaves were treasures a ll the flo w e rs c h ild re n a ll th e w in d -s w e p t sky was mode fo r pleasure in the summer m id-sun o u t o f sight and soon fo rg o tte n in the dreams made on a summer afte rn o o n when we were c h ild re n and the n ig h t was m agic y e t; in th e g e n tle su n -d a ze o f those hours when the o u t-stre tch e d hands o f g o ld e n w heat fie ld s c lu tc h e d our hearts (as la te r diamonds m ig ht) when the drums o f d is ta n t drummers started tatoos o f lost lands th a t we w ould soon d iscover fly in g o u t o f sun and o u t o f sight and soon fo rg o tte n in th e dreams made on a summer afternoon when we were c h ild re n and the n ig h t was m agic y e t;

in the cloudless w e a vin g patterns o f the sky on fie ld s w here c ric k e ts p la ye d the c ry in g games and lameless predators o f fr ig h t sta lke d fearlessly w ith in th e scattered seeds o f tim e h eld s t ill the f ly in g birds rang c le a r the freedom song th a t we w o uld soon remember f ly in g o u t o f sun and o u t o f sight and soon fo rg o tte n as d y in g dreams made on a summer a fternoon when we were c h ild re n and the n ig h t was m agic y e t. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; O la f

pansy (p a n ’ z e ) n . , p i. -sies (F r. pensee, a th o ug h t f r . penser, to th in k ) 1 . a sm all garden p la n t ( V io la tr ic o lo r ) o f the v io le t fa m ily , w ith f la t , b ro a d , v e lv e ty petals in many c o lo rs . 2 . (S la n g ) an e ffe m in a te man; esp. a male hom osexual.

In 1587, th e famous p a n s y -lo v e r G erard w ro te : "The Hearts-ease or Pansie hath many round leaves at the fir s t com m ing up; a fte rw a rd they grow somewhat lo n g e r, s le ig h tly c u t around the edges, the stalks are weake and te n d e r, whereupon grow flo u re s in form & fig u re lik e the V io le t , and fo r the most p a rt o f the same bignesse, o f sundry co lo u rs: p u rp le , y e llo w , w h ite and b le w ; by reason o f w h ic h colours they are ve ry pleasing to the e y e , fo r smel they have l it t le o r none a t a l l . . . . o fte ntim e s i t hapneth th a t the uppermost flo u re s are d iffe re in g from those th a t grow upon the m id dle o f the p la n t, and those va ry from th e low erm ost, as N a tu re lis t to d a lly w ith things o f such b e a u ty ."

O u r seed ca ta lo gs began a rriv in g in January and w ith them came visions o f p o le beans and m orning g lo rie s , o f b ro c c o li and tom atoes, o f d a h lia s and ca b b ag e , o f melons and sweet c o rn , and o f pansies b lo o m in g e v e ry ­ w h e re . PANSIESI W o u ld n 't i t be n ic e i f a ll the RFD readers had pansies g ro w in g in th e ir yards and gardens and w in d o w boxes. So, a le tte r w e n t o ff to the Burpee Com pany, a b ig package o f "O re g o n G ia n ts , m ixed co lo rs" came b a c k .

N o w you have a pack o f y o u r ve ry own pansies seeds.

Love yo u r p la n ts . Care fo r th e m . A fte r a ll they are the flo w e rs o f fa g g o ts. They are a lo t tougher than most people r e a liz e , (H al W ill they r e a liz e i t b e fore it 's too la te ? ) .

A n y w a y , you should sta rt yo u r pansies as soon as you get them , the last o f M a rc h ? Use p o ttin g soil compossed o f 1 part each o f s o il, sand, le a f mold o r peat moss.

Press the seed lig h tly in to the so il and keep them shaded u n til g e rm in a tio n . The pansies can have f u ll sun th e n , e xce p t d u rin g the ho ttest p a rt o f the d a y . D o n 't w a te r­ log your flo w e rs , d o n 't le t them w ilt e ith e r. They are b a s ic ly lovers o f m od e ra tio n, as fa r as d rin k goes a n yw a y.

Before you p la n t the flo w e rs o u tdo o rs, they should be slo w ly exposed to c o o le r and c o o le r te m p e ra tu re . Leave them o u tsid e fo r an hour more o r less the firs t d a y . Add a lit t le more tim e each day u n til you th in k i t is past frost in yo u r p a rt o f the w o rld . In Io w a , we can usually get them o utside by la te A p r il o r e a rly M a y . Y o u r pansies may bloom th is ye a r i f e v e ry th in g goes fa v o ra b ly . A good fa iry liv in g in yo u r neck o f the woods helps a lo t.

When w 'n te r comes and freezes the soil an in ch o r so, it's tim e to m ulch your pansies. C over them w ith six inches o f leaves, stra w , w h a te ve r you have handy th a t's not fu ll o f weed seed. D o n 't u n co ver them u n til sever fro st has gone back to the N o rth Pole fo r the summer. Y o u r pansies should be ready fo r an am azing show n e xt sp rin g .

Pansies reseed themselves r e a d ily . W o n d e rfu l! But you should th in o u t w eak plants and un d esira b le colors as soon as blooms o p e n . O th e rw ise y o u r bed w ill d e te r i­ o ra te . N o one lik e s a faded pansie, you kn o w .

G ood lu c k w ith yo u r p la n ts. If you lo ve them , you know they w ill lo ve you w ith th e ir co lo rs and shared lif e .

Have a good sp rin g , both you and y o u r p la n t frie n d s .