RFD Issue 7 Spring 1976

getting laid hanges. C hanges. C hanges.

Up until now, RFD has been published by a collective of Iowa faggots. A motley of Northw esterners, mostly from Wolf C reek, O re., and Elwba, W ash. , has been associated with that process from the be­ ginning. We in the Northwest have wanted to become more involved in the day-to-day process of putting out the ma­ gazine. W ell, Iowa wrote in January to say they needed to do other things; did we want to take over the magazine ?

We freaked. Wondered it we really wanted to do this magazine now. We are still not sure. But at a recent men's conference in Port­ land, Ore. , we figured out a way to divide responsibilities amongst ourselves in order to keep RFD together at least through the summer i s s ue .

The layout for each issue of the magazine has been done by a different collective of gay men. Often, we must sit down in the middle of layout and write articles or draw illustrations for the m agazine. Very little comes to the maga­ zine in the way of graphics, prose or poetry that is not personally solicited by someone do­ ing the layout. We need more. Much more.

Sometimes we wonder if, at this tim e, we coun­ try faggots really do have enough to say to each other to justify the tremendous energy it takes to put out a m agazine. It would sure help to keep us going if the mailbox were full.

So do get those brushes moving, those pens a-rolling, and those cameras clicking . And please mail with enough postage according to the correct c la ss . The postm istress here is the Postage Due Queen of the W est.

Any co llectives, groups of friends or neigh­ bors who would like to lay out an issu e, drop us a lin e .

Money is a continual problem. Due to ri­ sing costs (each issue costs about 80$ for printing alone) , we are raising the price to $1 for single copies, and subs are going up, too.

(See new price list elsew here in this issue.)

Dollars and stamps are much appreciated.

The hummer issue will be produced by the Northwest C ollective. Mail anything and evt-rytning to the new RTD address: RFD, 4 52b Wolf Creek Road, Wolf Creek OR 97497 .

— The Northwest C ollective

ere at Butterworth Farm, the production of the Ver­ nal Equinox issue of RFD has taken place in late February amid mild w eath­ er that indeed makes us think of spring. Today, as we begin layout, some of us are placing the first seeds in indoor fiats. The transition from Iowa to Ore­ gon has not been happening gracefully, and as a result we have felt confused and even have wondered if all this effort is going to see the light of day.

We hope that RFD will continue to happen, and we urge country gay people to try to find a little time to contribute work to the m agazine. Much of what we received for this issue comes from city people who identify with the spirit of RFD; it's fine for RFD to reflect the experiences and feelings of its urban readers, but if the maga­ zine is to remain a country magazine, people who are actually doing the country trip are go­ ing to have to make some time to contribute articles, drawings and photos for use in RFD. Reader feedback indicates that the maga­ zine has been a joy, at least some of the tim e, for many readers, but if it's going to be a joy to produce, the readers will have to become w riters, artists and photographers as w ell.

For exam ple, we had to scrounge through back issues of various gay and country publications for drawings. A variety of little illustrations to be used throughout the magazine would be very helpful.

When we started work on this issu e, we hoped it would have a New England - Middle Atlantic orientation, and with this in mind, we wrote to all RFD subscribers in eleven states to solicit articles. We didn't get much response, however, and as a result this issue may seem to have an inordinate amount of material about our farm. We hope that what we have shared is useful and that no one will feel overdosed. We hope other communities, groups, couples and individuals will share their reality and fanta­ sies with us in future issu e s.

It seems to us that it would be a nice idea for different groups of people, reflecting differ­ ent tastes and experiences, to put out RFD in the future. We hope that this tradition can be established.

- - The Butterwortn Farm people

VERNAL EQUINOX EDITION 1976

Front cover Inside front cover 1 Table of C ontents 2 Letters 4 Gardening with the Fairies 7 To Country Soul from C ity Soul 8 Poetry 9 10 19 20 21 22 23 24 28 29 30 37 38 39 40 41 42

Steven, M ass.

Northwest C ollective, Butterworth Farm Steven, M ass, (drawing) Country faggots everywhere John, M ass.; M. M cRoberts, W ise, (drawing, right) Ron, C alif.; Robert, C alif, (drawing) Tom, Maine; David, C onn.; Thomas, C alif.; M ichael, C alif, (drawing) Poetry Mark, W . Va.; Terry, W ise.; M. McRoberts, W ise, (drawing, lower right) As the Butter Churns Butterworth Farm, M ass.; Allen, M ass, (photos) Buddy, D .C . and M ass, (drawings) Poetry Tom, C alif.; David, M ass.; Robert, C alif, (drawing) Sally Sunshine Speaks Katy, D .C . and M ass.

Notes from a Gay Landscape Architect Dave, C alif.; Allen, M ass, (photo) Rutabaga House: Mixed Fruits & Nuts C arl, Colorado Now Hear This!

Announcements from everywhere Letters Country faggots everywhere Poetry Eric, N.Y.; M ichael, C alif, (drawing) Im pressions Jerry, M ass.

Recipe for a Small Cabin Bob, M ass.; Steve, M ass, (drawings); Allen, M ass, (photos) Steve, M ass.

Graham C rackers Ian, Ontario Note from a Gay Parent Allen, M ass.

Early Dump David, Maine; C hris, V t.,; David (Conn.)

Poetry M ichael, C alif, (photo) W alden Pond Country faggots everywhere Letters Steven, M ass.

Inside Back Cover Back Cover Steven, M ass.

NEWNESS: RFD is published four times a year by RFD, 4525 Lower Wolf Creek Road, Wolf Creek, Oregon 97497 Second class postage permit “ 073010, postage paid and re-entry permit pending at Wolf Creek, Oregon 97497, Address all correspondence to the new RFD headquarters in Wolf Creek Single copies are $1.00, back issue $1.00 each.

SUBSCRIPTIONS: $4.00 per year via second class mail. $5.00 per year via first class mail, $6.00 per year overseas, $8 00 per year for institutions, free to all prisoners, Bulk rate 80%. Donations needed and appreciated. Write for advertising rates. See page 44 for policy on letters.

LETTERS

Dear de«r RFD -4th absurd attempt at scribbling you a note.

My IQOO-miles-away sweetheart mailed me our copies and they made me feel so grand, so somehow essential and vital again, -- I'm in self-im posed exile for the winter, visiting Mom & Dad, and trying to clear up karmic entangle­ ments with them; oh the desolation of the plains of North Dakota! — I've forsaken the wild abandon of the Rockies and my home there in W estern Montana; a month or two at home with my parents seemed like a good idea 3 weeks ago. Well whatever. Listen: RFD is truly ama­ zing, and heartening, to say the least; I love you rnen, whoever you are, and feel a clo se­ ness with you and with the spirit of your ven­ ture. Also 1 feel occasional twinges (no — Pangs) of guilt for being so lazy and not con­ tributing any of my own w riting. . .my poetry is quite abstract and esoteric and, I usually tell myself, too personal to expect other people to absorb/interpret. W ell, I know what a shoddy rationalization that is; nonetheless. Capricorn is ending soon, thank God for that! - - It's one time of year that really zaps me - - the dearthness; the inwardness; the em phasis on struc­ ture ; goat-dance Saturnalia. W ell. Again — I love & appreciate you dearly -- thanks for your energy and giving me some of it; here's some faith and encouragement. . .and love and trust and truth (and to hell with calling them cliches!) Take care, Tom (North Dakota)

Dear RFD, I'd like to hear from a "New-Age" spiritu­ al brother into yoga, meditation, and outdoor living seeking a life-sty le of purification and balance. Someone who would be interested in living a simply, organic existence based on a "Traditional” South-W est Native American way of life, which would require strong courage, endurance and faith.

Arthur O'Shea c /o S Starrett Road W est Lynn MA 01905 2

Brothers: I am buying seven acres of land near G rass Valley, California (about 50 miles ea st of Sacramento) in the foothills of the Sierra Ne­ vada M ountains, and plan to be building a du­ plex cabin there, plus planting crops, a small fruit orchard and a greenhouse, etc . Is there anyone out there somewhere who might be inte­ rested in sharing and helping build and live in the other part of the cabin? I plan to get the crops and orchard in first, and start building the cabin by June and to rent an apartment or house in Sacramento till the cabin is com plete.

Please write only if you are ready to make a commitment to the country. Sholom /Peace.

Steve Ginsburg PO Box 338 Grafton CA 95444

To whom it may concern: I am living in the city . I am not happy in the city for many reasons. I am 20 years old, and strong. I would like to move to the coun­ try, preferably around the southwest some­ where, because the cold weather places a lot of restriction which 1 would love to get away from.

I received your address through the Nation­ al Gay Task Force in M anhattan and was told that you could tell me what opportunities are open to m e. I do not have very much money, so I think I'd need to be either involved in a commune, or given a place to live in partial exchange for work, and, needless to say I would like to live somewhere where other gay people live. I have a car here (which is basically an old jalopy) but I wouldn't dare travel any great distance in it.

I really don't have any great professional skills — I've supported myself for two years by painting houses and doing odd jobs on houses and this type of thing. I am not afraid of hard work, and generally I learn fast. When I was painting I did it on my own so I guess you could say I had my own business. I never really en­ joyed it that much so I just stopped. I never went to college, but I don't think I've ever met a person who I can 't talk to on account of more or less education - - I have read a lot and I'm generally regarded as an intelligent person.

W eil, I guess those are my qualifications and to say more about me would be unnecessary except that I'm not into drugs, nor have I ever been in a mental institution, or jail.

Dean Mandel 192-08A 39 Ave. flushing NY 11358

Dear Folks at RFD,

Had heard lots about RFD from ray dear friend at Eiwha, Faygele Singer. Finally roun­ ded up a copy, and what a flush! Lots of the letters verbalized a lot of the things rolling around ir my head lately.

Maybe I’m over-reacting from living for two years in that ultimate urban trip, L.A ., but self-sub sistence living has become suddenly very important to me.

I found an over-size lot in town, 7 5' X 165', with option to buy another 65' X 100' with an orchard on it. What with the size of the lot and living across the street from the oldest ce­ metery in Vancouver, W ashington, the place has a decided country flavor. The stove that came with the place is eight burners and two ovens, half gas and half wood. The sauna, out back, is a wood-burner.

As with everyone e lse , my major problem seem s to be in finding like-m inded folks. It seems as though all the folks with a commit­ ment to self-sub sistence have headed for the hills. 1 can't seem to blast the urban fairies as far as a twenty-m inute trip to the nearest bar. And still the house payments keep rolling in. Oh w ell, som eone's bound to turn up.

So, in the meantime, I'm trying to figure out what to put in the ground to see me through next winter and what I can grow or make to swap at the local coop for milk and eggs. Go­ ing to try my hand at soap as the stove puts out unlimited ash and the local restaurant will give me an unlimited supply of tallow . Already rendered and separated as they store it in the freezer until it can be picked up.

That's about all from here. Would like to hear from more folks in my area. W rite.

Lou Hamburg 2714 E. 13th St. Vancouver WA 98661

Dear Friends, 1 am a prisoner at the Iowa State Peniten­ tiary, at Fort M adison, Iowa, and have been confined here for almost four years. I sent for the Homosexual Directory, put out by the Homo­ sexual Information C enter, in Hollywood, C alif, in hopes of finding some contacts that were close to my present place of confinement.

Your organization was listed in that directory.

I am in hopes that your organization would be able to mail to me a subscription to the newspaper that you put out. Also 1 am in inter­ est of acquiring some persons with the same interests as I so as I may have someone to correspond with and maybe come here to visit me, and I would prefer that this person be a fellow gay that would be interested in de­ veloping a wholesome relationship while 1 am in this prison and after I get out which should be in about 8 months, or Sept. 10, 1976.

Steven R. Wycoff #1300 3 Box 316 Iowa State Penitentiary Fort Madison IA 52627 (Note; It is RFD policy to send a free sub to any prisoner who requests one. In order for us to do th is, however, we need more contribu­ tions from readers earmarked for this purpose.)

When I contributed to RFD I hadn't seen the prospect of it becoming a children's magazine.

This Solstice '75 issue has hit an all-tim e low, and I think it would be better that future issues be entirely letters from subscribers, as the puerile junk "the Editors" chose for this issue assure me that RFD will soon cease to e x is t.

Rod Barker

Dear RFD, H ere's an idea for an article for the sum­ mer issue; it needs the cooperation of lots of RFD readers. Where do you go swimming? De­ scribe the natural setting, the other people who go there. Is skinny-dipping OK? Do you have any special feelings about being gay at your swimming place? Perhaps someone has a water phobia . . . if so, how do you deal with it while everyone's enjoying the w ater? Anyone just learning to swirp? . . . If lots of RFD read­ ers respond to these questions , the result could be an interesting reader survey.

Allen (M assachusetts)

3

(^arbening tmtititJfiurieg I'd like to share with you three of the gar­ dening concepts which most of us at Butterworth Farm believe in and use. They are companion planting, moon sign gardening, and an aware­ ness of some of the spirit world which makes our gardens grow.

Companion plant­ ing is an old practice. When the first white folk came here, the local na­ tives taught them to plant their squashes and beans in the corn patch. Recent scientific expe­ riments have shown that plants interact with each other and other creatures more than ever suspected. If you haven’t already read it, Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird's book, The Secret Life of P lan ts. gets into the details of these experi­ m ents. The interplanting of different types of vegetation occurs constantly in Mother Nature, and we believe that it stands to reason to do the same in our organic vegetable gardens. I have seen the reverse effect of leeks on a row of sweet peas (which never got taller than three inches - - and never bloomed) . Tomatoes and kohlrabi don't like each other, either. See­ ing these things stunt each other, just like all the books said, convinced me absolutely that companion planting was the way it should be done. In addition, you get more yield per square foot, because things which like each other seldom compete for the same nutritional goodies in the soil and air.

Information on companion planting can be gotten from an excellent book by Helen Philbrick and Richard Gregg. The book is called Companion Plants and How to Use Them, As an additional note, all the experts in the field agree that there is a definite advan­ tage to be gained in planting aromatic herbs and bright flowers in the vegetable garden to relievp the monotony of green color vibrations.

Even if you don't agree with the idea of certain plants helping each other out by their presence, it sure looks and smells nice to have flowers and sweet herbs scattered throughout the gar­ den.

Llewellyn's Moon Sign Book and Daily Planetary Guide turned us on to gardening with the astrolo­ gical signs of the moon. This is another ancient practice, dating back to the Baby­ lonians — and everyone knows about the kind of gardens they had! I can give a sim plified ver­ sion of how to do this type of gar­ dening, but there are exceptions to the rules which I don't have space for, and Llewellyn's book is so filled with all sorts of neat little hints on how to live with the stars that it's really worth your buying it — even if you ig­ nore the gardening section.

Things to do during the four quarters of the moon go thusly: FIRST QUARTER (New to Half-Moon) Plant leafy annuals which produce seed out­ side of the fruit, such as asparagus, cab­ bage, celery, lettuce, spinach. Also inclu­ ded are cereals and grains.

SECOND QUARTER (Half to Full-Moon) Plant viney annuals which produce their yields above the ground, with seeds inside the fruit. Examples are tom atoes, beans, peas, squash, peppers, and (once again) grains and cereals.

THIRD QUARTER (Full to Half) Plant your b ien n ials, perennials, bulbs, roots, trees and berries. This includes ru­ tabagas, potatoes, rhubarb, onions, b e ets, and grapes.

FOURTH QUARTER (The rest) This is the best time to till and kill (bugs and weeds) . Especially good for that if the moon is in a barren sign. C ultivating is a l­ so a Fourth Quarter activity.

There are six barren signs: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Saggitarius, and Aquarius. These are good for doing things which don't have to do with the expansive (yang, if you like) a s ­ pects of the growth cy cle. Things like prepa­ ring the so il, getting rid of unwanted weeds and insect critters and things along those lines are the most successful to do when the moon is

in these sig n s. Here again, I must refer you to Llew ellyn's book — unless you are an a s ­ trologer, and can figure out the times of the moon's passage through the different signs. It would fill half this magazine to include the c h arts.

C ancer, Scorpio and Pisces should be used for planting whenever they can be worked into your garden schedule. They are the fertile ones, and most things do much better when planted then. If the previous signs fall at the wrong tim es, you may use Taurus or C apricorn, as they are next in line for fertility. These two are especially good for root crops - - even better than the three previous. Libra, Saggitarius, Aquarius are the least fertile of the fruitful signs, in that order.

Next time you plant, try this out. Remem­ ber to pay attention to both the signs and the phases - - I’d bet you see some differences in the production and vigor of your garden plants.

This third item is one which came to us through a booklet I gave my lover,Art,for his birthday two years ago. There is a group of peo­ ple living on the shores of the North S ea, in Scotland, called the Findhorn Foundation. In 1963, under spi­ rit direction, four people set up re­ sidence in a trail­ er park located on some sand dunes. W ithin a few years, they were growing twenty-pound cabbages in soil which was nothing more than sand with com­ post mixed in. The reason for this success was the communication these people (especial­ ly one woman, called Divina) had with spirits who keep the spiritual aspect of the plant world functioning (so to speak) . These spirits are of three types. In the hierarchy of things, the arcnitect angel is the b o ss. This is the be­ ing who keeps the whole thing in balance.

Next come the elem entals, spirit-beings whose function is to channel vibrations to plants.

There are thousands of elem ental "fairies" at work wherever a group of plants is growing.

They keep the spiritual basic needs of plants together. The devas are m ajestic beings who are the ideal essence of plants. Each species of plant has a particular deva who is responsi­ ble for the form and inherent characteristics of that plant. Devas are the pure, utopian-perfect non-physical form (or vibration or concept) of plants, containing all the q ualities, and the collective experience of each species. They are to be found everywhere plants grow, as there are Devas for every species in the world.

So far it has been the oak devas which are most open to communication with hum ans.

People have forgotten that m ere are torces far beyond their senses and scien c es, forces which operate in complex ana invisible manners, resulting in the physical world and its m anifes­ tatio ns. The Findhorn people have communica­ ted with these sp irits, and their gardens have prospered in a way which science cannot ex­ plain. Without the proper minerals in the so il, these people grew lush vegetation, prize-w in­ ning fruits. They explain it as the result of their respect for the nature spirits as equally important creatures as them selves. Plants were given warning when they would come under some planned stress (transplanting, pru­ ning, etc.) . When harvesting time cam e, the plants were thanked for their produce and the spirits for their labors. W asteful use of plants upsets the sp irits. W aste from the gar­ den should be composted and returned to the earfh. Cutting blossom s off most plants inter­ rupts the cycle of the plant and deprives it of its most deserved possessio ns. As much as possible, plants should be encouraged in their various stages of growth, not hindered, or tampered with. When your plants look unhappy, feed them on positive thoughts of their future -don't give up at first w ilt. All creatures have an amazingly tenacious hold on life, and some plants can go through more adverse conditions than people.

More important than the do's and the don 't's is the type of vibrations you bring into your garden (and therefore food and environ­ ment) . An open outlook and caring w atchful­ ness will bring you closer to the spirits who dwell within. A troubled mind with negative vibrations can do the plants it comes in contact with no good. The spirit-beings who work con­ stantly to make your garden grow don't com­ plain because this bean plant needs more of a certain vibration — you shouldn't grumble about giving it water or cultivation or some other physical care which is , after a ll, our part in the whole plan. The more we realize our inter-dependence with the plant world, the more we can see how mankind has fucked over that kingdom. N eedless greed and stupidity have prompted man to dwindle the natural wealth of the planet, and has alienated the na­ ture spirits greatly. It is time to get re­ acquainted with these beings who inhabit a world which touches ours so directly. We should keep our hearts and minds open to these beings, receive their subtle suggestions, and follow that intuitive sense which brings us closer to their kingdom.

The following is a letter Bob received in answer to one he wrote to find out more about the Findhorn knowledge and to learn their thoughts on proper management for a wood lot:

S

Dear Bob, Thank you for your fine letter of Feb. 8.

We gardeners have been intensely busy for the past month so I'm afraid our letter-w riting pri­ orities have slipped a b it. We do appreciate your letter as it shows a true heart felt con­ cern for a deeper grasp of the natural world around you. . . .

At Findhorn we are very fortunate to have had first hand contact with the devas and na­ ture spirits through our tw elve-year history.

We do not profess to have the answ ers concern­ ing cooperation with these realm s. What we can do is offer you our full support and en­ couragement towards your own developing un­ derstanding.

In dealing with the nature spirits and the d ev as, there are no specific rules and regula­ tions to follow. One can only follow and trust one's inner knowing. This would relate to your vegetable garden, or wood lot, in that you are the creator, director, master of these ventures.

By asking the devas' help, and for the nature spirits' help, when you work in these areas, you are working in conscious recognition of the part they play. Your love for the forest and plants is the key, for in this love you are a t­ tempting to treat these fellow beings in the best way you know how. Cooperation means giving and taking from all involved. The nature spirits and devas are very naturally at work throughout all of the natural world, and man is a very na­ tural offspring of this world. The spirits are happy to serve man, to give of their world — shelter, fuel & food - - but man must learn to give back to this world. Properly recycle his w aste, properly respect and appreciate each mouthful of food or log of wood, and to take only what he n eed s. not rape his world. With our gift of consciousness we can use the gifts of nature to create tools that serve us. For ex­ am ple, an axe in your forest or a hoe in your garden, but we must also use our conscious­ ness to respect and appreciate these tools, for the gift they give us. If we cut down a tree, let's be sure there's good reason for it, namely fuel, shelter, or income. And le t's ask the tree first, for its perm ission. If your motives are honest, then the tree is quite willing to serve. If it objects, you will know by the d is­ comfort you feel in cutting it - - just by commu­ ning with it beforehand your Intuition will say no. Let’s learn to trust our intuition, to have faith that if a tree's growing cycle isn 't mature enough, or if our motives are not clear enough, and intuition doesn’t feel quite right, let's learn to stop and examine our m otives.

A practise we use in the garden here is to warn a plant before transplant, removal, pru­ ning, etc. We approach the plant before we do the work, and inform it of our intentions — why we are asking the plant to move, for exam­ ple. If our motives are clear when we return several days later (the timing depends on size of plant involved, maybe a few hours for a 6

small shrub, maybe a few months for a huge tree), the plant will feel good, and the trans­ planting will feel good. If it doesn't we ask again and try later.

W ell, Bob, I sincerely hope these simple thoughts will be useful to you. Keep your eyes open for The Findhorn Garden: Pioneering a New Vision of Man & Nature in Cooperation, to be published by Harper & Row (New York) .

Keep up your good work, in faith of course that the devas and elem entals (nature spirits) are working with you. There are so few humans that consciously ask their help; I'm sure they'll be delighted whenever you do!

For all the Findhorn Gardeners & G ardens, B lessings, Tom Earle The Findhorn Foundation University of Light, The Park, Findhorn Bay, Forres, Moray, Scotland I feel that whatever you do in a garden, intuitive knowledge is a must. There are so many aspects of life we know virtually nothing about. I hope that the things in this article will click in that far-off part of your beinqs, and you'll say, "oh yes, that sounds right." I find gardening with these methods very reward­ ing - - the thrill of hearing what my plants are telling me is a constant delight to me — I hope it will be for you, too.

John (M assachusetts)

Over the doorway of the late Carl Jung's home was the inscription in Latin "Called or not called God is present." Carl Jung was always surrounded by gardens, lakes and other affirma­ tions of Nature. Therefore I tem erariously would like to add to his inscription "Called or not called God is present, however, he is more apt to be recognized in the Country. It had been a normal murky day in the city when this revelation penetrated itself thru the smog and beckoned me to change my lif e .. . .

I had been discussing my thorough disen­ chantment with urbanism, better known as technological barbarism , with my wise friend Dr. St. Jam es. . ., when suddenly I realized that what 1 really desired more than anything else on earth was to meet a friend and lover who had not been contaminated by the grey city but who instead was as green as the lush co­ lor I imagined must permeate his environment.

At 27 years old, I have fought contamination by wrestling the robots of a humanoid, wilder­ ness-void society called city . A place where people die only to be resurrected as skyscra­ pers or to have their ashes macadmized into freew ays. The only freeways . I told Dr. St. Jam es, were where there are few cars and where people thrill to be alive in the outdoors, affectionately working the land for their sustenation. . . .

The more we talked, I totally realized that my own destiny, survival, and individuation depended on radically changing my lifestyle.

It appeared inevitable that I would soon leave the city for the country, which to me, except for poetic imagination remained a "terra incog­ nita ."

It was actually Dr. St. James who sugges­ ted that I write a poem which expressed the ve­ ry essence of what I knew to be my d e stin y .. . .

Upon completion of this personal paean, the good Doctor encouraged me to send it to your publication. I had never heard of R .F.D . but he felt that your journal was ideal for my idyll.

James wrote down the address to R .F.D . and along with it his own prophetic inscription, "Publish or Perish."

I hope you do publish the poem. If you do please be good enough to also include my ad­ dress so that Country Souls will be able to write to me. There really is no room in the city for a rom antic.

Ron Baron 2007 Glenneyre Laguna Beach CA 92651

to country soul from city soul Dear Country Soul, You are the rugged guardian of nature's land and yet you sometimes question your fate for there is something more than just a tool of a plow1 or a hoe which you want in your hand there is something more than earth which you want to cultivate There is something which you feel is also of great worth which you want to sow, to till, to reap and that something has alw ays been a city soul for that above all e lse, is what you long to know, to feel, to keep I am a young sensitive poet who was raised up in an asphalt landscape echoing of smog alarms who's only escape was in lofty thoughts of going thru the L.L. Bean catalog, softly sheltered in your arm s.

You have often gazed out from over the agrarian belt and dreamed of hearing that city raised young man composing verse, which unlike the sun can actually make your heart melt.

Poems all about, how he'd like to love your land for that has always been his thirst Perhaps soon City Soul will be beside you in G od's Country his spirit freed from all those perpetual city w alls and soon your harvest heart will nod approvingly over how well he looks in your boots and overalls.

For City Soul has just the knack to please Country's succulent crop which he'll do every time they climb into the sack, City on the bottom and Country on the top.

For Country Man has freed City Man from captivity in blocks of concrete Country hand takes City hand and walks with him thru stalks of waving wheat Loving Soul finds Loving Soul and at last both of their separate lives are made com plete.

Love, City Soul

7

A D A M IN

THE

GARDEN

This garden is our battleline against things growing of them selves: we want nature to see the reason of our plan* the desperate echo of a myth that cherishes imperishable trees and that private collection of beasts we want to undo wildness undo each other regiment lives like rows of corn; tie up tomato plants and the branches, the inhospitable smell offer us assured resistance the current adam struggles to remember, as his forefathers did the names of things something in these plants something in ourselves resists being named

SStcembtr

Sleet picks at the window screen like the biting talons of an attacking winter bird while in the darkness of the bedroom my lover washes warm my insides with his steaming come.

David (Connecticut)

he stands up, alone in the garden unraveling string in one hand the other shielding his eyes from the sun nature is a widening blur tomato plants twine them selves together at his feet the wind carries to him the unspeakable sound of all things he cannot foresee then he squats and thrashes among the rooting branches.

Tom (Maine)

I need some noise in this house to tell me I can hear I have senses I need someone to touch me to tell me I am here It's been so long that my body waits and I'm halfway out the door Thomas (California)

iFrom the author of the poem above: "If anyone w ishes to write to me, please give them my address and let them know I would like to hear from them ." Thomas, c /o RFD)

8

My love flows out to you like a river I ride the river in a tiny boat sometimes I'm afraid the boat might be washed away sometimes I'm afraid you might drown

One by one the barriers between us crumble used to be when we made love we were like two bulldogs now making love w e're like one bulldog

constellation WHEN WALKING

counting

ALONE AT NIGHT IF YOU LOOK AT THE STARS YOU WON'T GET COLD LOOKING AT THE DIFFERENT CONSTELLATIONS COUNTING THE STARS AND THINKING OF THE DAYS AND LOVERS THAT PASSED. Terry (Wisconsin)

I'm so full of desire for you I can 't sleep I feel like a jar of tomatoes stuffed to the brim all squishy & full of seeds Mark (West Virg:

NTRODlJCTORY NOTE: Butterworth Farm is located on 94 acres of mostly wooded land in m u r a Central New England. The land /■ » • (Artie, Allen, C arl, Bob and Steve) in the spring of 1973. Since that tim e, the population of the farm has grown to include nine perma­ nent residents, plus a few who have lived here in the summertime.

When the land was purchased, it was all woods, and we have clear­ ed some land and built four houses, two co tta­ g es, two sleeping shelters and one duck coop.

These structures reflect much of our thinking about living in the country. The buildings were constructed with ecological principles in mind, using mostly pine, hem­ lock and oak cut by local sawyers who own and operate their own logging and milling equip­ ment. Timber-frame construction is the basis for most of the construction — this is the technique of joining heavy timbers (usually eight inches square) with joints and pegs as used in colonial New England -- and our build­ ings should endure for many generations. We use wood to heat our houses and hope to be­ come involved even further in the use of alter­ native energy sources. Recycled windows, doors, bricks and other m aterials are used in some of the structures.

Although the land has been owned cooper­ atively (by a corporation) , we have recently agreed on a plan to divide the land into six parcels - - one large parcel of communal land which will continue to be owned cooperatively, and five 10-acre parcels; to be deeded to each of the original ow ners. This arrangement will be fortified by about ten agreed-upon environ­ mental by-law s. (Example: All utility lines must be buried underground.) Our land-use legal arrangements have been a difficult prob­ lem for us, and we have been through many ago­ nizing meetings in an attem pt to find harmoni­ ous solutions. ^

The main financial base of the group has been our own labor, focused in a small map publishing business which we own and operate cooperatively. Some of the residents of Butterworth Farm have earned money through part time employment. Our goal is self-sufficiency with an eye toward needing less money, but at the t tent time most of our structures are 10

unfinished, and the members of the group still need cash to finish the buildings, to improve the hom esteads by planting fruit trees and erecting outbuildings, to pay debts and perhaps to travel. Some of us get Food Stamps, but we do not consider this a long-term solution to survival.

Here are a few more random facts about the people here: Our backgrounds vary from race track gypsies to suburban upper middle c la ss . Present and former occupations and orientations include teacher trainer, horse trainer, logger, long-distance runner, painter, Peace Corps volunteer, printer, stevedore, stock room supervisor, secretary, underground newspaper editor, cook and motorcycle racer.

THANKSGIVING DINNER: NOVEMBER 1975 Our native states include M ichigan, Oregon, Ohio, New York, T exas, Pennsylvania and M assachusetts. Our previous living expe­ riences include rural, suburban and urban life­ sty les. Some of us have had heavy involve­ ment with political movements, including the New Left and gay liberation, while others have had slight movement involvement , or none.

Four people are students of Transcendental M editation, but aside from that the members of the group are varied in spiritual orientation.

Two people are involved in different types of therapy. One of us is a member of the Town planning board (an appointed unpaid position).

Most of us are registered voters: a few are not.

We have one communally-owned van and s e v e ­ ral privately-owned vehicles.

Artie and John {a three-year couple) and Scott and Chris live in the structure sometimes known as the “community house." Allen and Jerry live in the Octagon, with Buddy and Katy expected to join them in the spring. Steven and Bob, who recently celebrated their fourth an­ niversary, live in the Peak House. Sharon lives alone in the Fern C ottage on the banks of Collar Brook. Carl has vacated the house he built, perhaps only tem porarily, and he now lives in another state where he is involved in primal therapy and works as a textile designer.

At this writing we have one dog (an Afghan named Tima) and five c a ts. Two of the people here are strict vegetarians, while the others have a primarily vegetarian diet.

We decided that the best way to share our experiences was to sit around a tape recor­ der. The following transcript reflects some of our evolution as a group, though of course it does not deal with all of the economic and emotional d etails. ★ * * *

THE ROSE COTTAGE ARTIE: There’s a lot of different kinds of situa­ tions that exist between groups of people. And lots of times it's really helpful to hear about how other people are getting on, and how they relate. It seem s like five or six years ago, people started out like we did, in the sense of wanting to all live in the same house and want­ ing to do pretty much everything together. And it seems like our group has changed in lots of ways from that initial conception. I think most of us feel a lot of that change has been good in the sense that we all have more freedom and our own space and we can still relate together.

ALLEN: Sometimes when people ask me about Butterworth Farm, or if they say, 'Oh, you live in a com m une,' I usually say, 'W ell, it's not really a commune. You might call it a de-centralized com m unity.' Despite all of our prob­ lem s, I'm not willing to say that we don't have a community. W e're beginning to recognize our differences. And we have given up on the idea of all living together in one house.

JOHN: The direction w e've gone - - in getting further apart physically - - is better because it allows people more freedom to express their own personality. It gives us more autonomy.

And yet w e're close enough physically to be

able to get together without any trouble. Also.

I'm feeling more of a sense of community with a lot of people around here, like in town, and people at the coop, and Barbara and Peter, and the Jolly Road people. It's like a loose commu­ nity. with the people I'm gettinq to know’.

ALLEN: W ell, the community seems to have certain institutions for us - - 1 mean aside from what w’e have here at Butterworth Farm. There's the Inn, where we sometimes go to dance (though sometimes w e're not satisfied with it) and the food cooperative. Jerry works at the Day Care C enter, and lots of the people who work at the Day Care C enter, or the people who have their kids at the C enter, also belong to the coop, or they're the same people that we see at the Inn, and at the lake in the summer­ time .

ARTIE: When you live with people in one struc­ ture, and when you're really doing a lot and working hard and don’t have that much time to relate to each other and be sensitive to each other, unfortunately there gets to be lots of tensions. Building the houses and getting the money together to buy the land, and all that, meant we had to work more than a lot of our heads could take a lot of the tim e. And now, with the separateness that we have, hopefully we can begin getting through a lot of the scars that came from living with each other in a small space without much time to deal with each oth­ er sensitively.

SHARON: I agree with that from my recent ex­ perience, because I find it much easier to re­ late to the people that I was living with, now that I'm no longer living with them, because I have a sense of my own identity now and my life isn ’t being run by a committee any more.

ALLEN: Even though I recognize the advanta­ ges of the separation, I still feel a lot of d is­ appointment, because the idea of a larger num­ ber of people living together and doing things together has so much to recommend it, in terms of being able to accom plish work togeth­ er, being able to share equipment, being able to share something like the same amount of fuel to heat a space that houses more people.

THE OCTAGON

THE PEAK HOUSE But a lot of th at's theoretical. In practice, for exam ple, it's hard to share tools, because dif­ ferent people have different ways of using tools or caring for tools. It was even hard to do a garden together. Last summer we had four se ­ parate gardens! And a lot of people might think that th at's strange. But I think people who’ve had experiences with group gardening would probably not think it's strange, because there's different ways that you relate to the earth, different ways that you handle the plants and plan a garden. Everybody wants to have more control over their own environm ent.

Sometimes I feel that the inability to do it all together comes from an unwillingness to com­ promise, and th at’s what bothers me. That's why I feel a sense of loss about it. E special­ ly since, in my house, next summer there's probably going to be four people living there, which is alm ost as many as we had in the be­ ginning, so I feel like that's still something I want to do, or want to try to do: to be with more people and learn to compromise and create a living situation where a larger number of peo­ ple can live and work together.

SHARON: Do you feel that you've made any progress in that direction?

ALLEN: I don’t know. I'm not sure. One of the problems is that when the five of us were to­ gether, we were approaching our situation of being together from a position of equality. All five of us were exactly equal. And now it's a situation where it's my house. And the other people are coming to live with me in my house.

And I want to relate to those other people in a way th at's sharing, and yet in a real sense I'm not giving up my position of ownership or con­ tro l, so I have very mixed feelings about that.

It confuses me (laughter) . I don't like the feel­ ing of being in charge, and I try not to be in charge, and yet in an ultimate sense it's obvi­ ous that I am in charge because it's my house.

I'm not trying to fool anybody. But it's still a somewhat uncomfortable situation.

12

JERRY: I think at times that causes a sense of insecurity in the other people who live there.

Sometimes they wonder, "What am I doing here?" And "Am I getting what I really want out of th is?" And at the same time you get a lot of satisfaction out of the fact that w e're all work­ ing together and we have to trust each other, and we have to learn to deal with each other on deeper lev els. Like, I have to trust that, even though you own the land, and you own the house, and all that, w e're all doing this thing together. W e're all working for an ideal and a goal together.

SHARON: There's another aspect of that, though. The original five people that started h e re ., .they really worked hard a lot of years and really made a lot of sacrifices to get th is, and w e're able just to come in here and share in the fruits of their labor, and I don't know whether anyone keeps sight of that or not, but I really appreciate it.

ARTIE: One of the things that 1 feel that's good is , like, there were originally five of us that started it, and now there's four homesteads th a t's come out of that. And from that stage, it's growing. Like you, Allen, w ell, next, sum-

BUDDY'S A-FRAME mer you'll be living with three other people, and at this point I ’m living with three people other than the original five. So out of the five has come growth. Because w e're allowing each other to separate, within some kind of um­ brella, w e're all hopefully going to get to where w e'll be happier.

BOBBY: I found that the separation and expan­ sion has given me an opportunity to get into the homesteading at the level I really wanted to get into it. Initially, when I had thoughts of coming to the country in a group situation, I thought, w ell, work would be simplified be­ cause, you know, there'd be a lot of people to do it. Somebody would get into one a s ­ pect of the garden, and somebody else would

From left to right: CARL, JERRY, BUDDY do other asp ec ts. Once I got here and started getting into the homesteading thing. . .1 mean, I really get off on doing the homesteading things, and I want to get into all of the aspects m yself, to just experience them as the entities they are. In that sense, I really enjoy just trying to do it all myself, instead of doing it as a group, because I feel I get some benefits from just reacting and relating that way. Like the garden we put in on our homestead last year: I got a lot of feedback from that garden, just from the way it was set up and the work and the energy that we put into it. Just from the way they turned out last year. I mean, John's garden was a completely different type of a garden, a different expression than our garden, you know. And that was really nice, to see the co ntrasts, and yet to know that there was still a lot of sim ilarities in the way we think about gardens, land plants, and plant sp irits, and yet it's completely expressed in different w ays. And it's just really nice to see that type of a contrast going on. And I think in some senses it's a much more learning situation, a learning experience, by seeing that, than everybody trying to pull it together and put it in one place.

ALLEN: When we broke up into separate home­ s te a d s, one of the things that we tried to do was to see what some of the common ground w as, and th at's what led to the idea of having a group of environmental by-law s that we could all agree on. One of the things I feel about Butterworth Farm - - especially compared to other country places where there's a large group of people together -- is the em phasis on ae sth e tics, or just how things look. Our standards vary, but still we all place a lot of importance on how things look.

STEVE: We have fewer junk cars than any com­ mune I've ever seen (laughter) .

ARTIE: Just one old mail truck.

JOHN: And it's sitting in the parking lot now.

The right place for it.

BOBBY: After two years!

ALLEN: But it's not even supposed to be there!

JOHN: It's not dead any more. Steven's going to bring it back to life.

BOBBY: Yes, it might become a chuck wagon.

JOHN: To go back to what you were saying, Al­ len, about living with people, more people.

That's probably true for you. But I don't feel that so strongly. I think a big difference is having a relationship with Artie. We relate very intensely, and it's maybe the same as re­ lating to a lot of people, not quite in so many lev els, and, you know, so Intensely. It gets kind of hectic to me to have a lot of people around. I think any more than two other people would be too much on my mind, you know, just too much energy, more than I'm willing to put out.

BOBBY: I feel the same thing. I don't know how much it has to do with just individual per­ sonalities, but as for Steve and I, w e're burned out as far as living with groups of people in the same house. It's just too much to deal w ith. I don't want to have to deal with the specific problems of how somebody cleans up their toothbrush after they've brushed their te e th .. . that little petty stuff that doesn't mean any­ thing, but after you're living with people for a while in certain spaces it starts to be a prob­ lem. I just don't think it's worthwhile. I'd just rather be in a house by ourselves and be able to relate to people on more meaningful le ­ vels and deal with more meaningful problems than that kind of stuff.

ARTIE: And I don't ever want to have to wash dishes for ten people every night again (laugh­ ter) . Four people's dishes. . .fifteen m inutes. . . it's fine for an evening.

BOB STAINING PEAK HOUSE FLOOR

13

ALLEN: Jerry and I were talking the other night about the difference in life-sty les between people who are in couples and people who are single. That's something that in a lot of ways I feel Js a more overbearing difference in this area than being gay or being straight.

SHARON: You can say that again!

ALLEN: That's one of the things we should mention. The five original people who were in­ volved in starting Butterworth Farm were all gay men, but one of the things we agreed on at the outset was that we didn't think of ourselves as creating a "gay commune," that we didn't want to live in a strictly gay atm osphere.

Some of us, maybe not all of us, had lived for at least some time in what you might call an urban gay ghetto. And that was one of the rea­ sons we were moving to the country - - not to move to a rural gay ghetto, but to get away from that, and to try to live in a more expand­ ed community. W e've begun to grow in that direction, and it's something w e've all appre­ ciated. 1 don't know If there are people who want to live in the country only with other gay people, but it doesn't seem to be very mean­ ingful an experience to me, when you're doing the sort of things that we're doing. I don't know how other people feel.

JOHN AND ARTIE JOHN: It's a very diverse world, with all sorts of different people. It seems like it would sort of warp your conception of things to live in a strictly one-sided type community.

We certainly have a heavy gay leaning here. . . still only three straight people.

ARTIE: Three of them in here! (laughter) ALLEN: In a lot of w ays, w e're lucky, be­ cause a gay person who was totally isolated somewhere in a rural community would experi­ ence certain difficulties that we don't experi­ ence. 1 mean we do have certain advantages in having other gay people around.

JOHN: I think we have a lot of support in that way, amongst ourselves.

BOBBY: When 1 think about other friends or companionship, I don't feel the need particular­ ly for other gay friends or that sort of thing. If they're gay or straight, it doesn't matter. As far as the need for someone of similar sexuality to relate to outside of here, I really don't feel

14

the need for it, I mean, as far as that aspect of my life goes, someone's sexuality doesn't real­ ly make too much difference. As far as trying to define a community around sexuality, it's too shallow; it's like defining it around who has freckles, or w hatever. It doesn't make s e n se .

ARTIE: I really hope that I'm at a place where, for my friends, I don't really care whether they are straight or gay. But. ..

STEVE: Just so they're pretty! (laughter) ARTIE: There's still a part of me, because of where my chakra Is, that likes to relate to gay men that I'm attracted to. Sometimes that does kind of color who I would try to be friends with. In lots of w ays, living out here separ­ ates me a lot from that, 'cause most of the people. . .

JOHN: There aren't many cute gay men around!

SHARON: There aren’t many cute straight men around! (laughter) ALLEN: I was going to say, "What about Scott ? " . . . but. ..

SHARON: Yeah, Scott's really the odd man out!

ARTIE: H e's the only cute straight man in a five-m ile radius!

ROBBY: That's a matter of personal opinion.

I've heard some talk about Bill Peters from cer­ tain p a rtie s.

SHARON: I made sure to sign up for the coop the same day he worked!

ARTIE: A lot of the letters we read in RFD talk about people's alienation and loneliness from living in the country. Of course, here we real­ ly support each other. But aside from that, we've felt really good with the contacts we've had in the area, not only with people who, you know, are culturally the same, who are our peers, but, you know, the old Yankees in the area who have really helped us out so much.

It's not the kind of thing where we went over to their house the first day and said, "Hey, w e’re gay!" (laughter) . W e're not sure really how many people know and how many people don't. People don't ask us any more, "When are you going to get married?" They used to say, "W here's the g irls?" all the time! It just seems like the atmosphere here is such that we can do whatever we want with our pri­ vate liv es. People have seen what we've done with our energy. W e're working hard for what we believe, and people really respect us off of that. And it's felt good.

JOHN: I think we don't treat people as the enemy, too. I think that has a lot to do with it. A lot of gay people might get up tight about being gay and getting a bad reaction, and just end up putting that energy out, and confronting people and all that, instead of just relaxing

ALLEN ON A SUNNY WINTER'S DAY and trying to relate to the person, you know, as another person, and enjoying that person.

BOBBY: I think the major secret about that is not having types or varieties of people in your head. People are people, whether they are the police chief or the long lost faggot friend that you haven't seen in years, or w hat­ ever. They're all people you should be open to relating to, and accepting them for what they are and what you are. I feel th at’s the way we've oeen relating to people here, and it seems to have worked very w ell. You find some people that you like and some people that you don't like, but it has nothing to do with whether they're longhairs or shorthairs or hip­ pies or town fathers.

ALLEN: W ell, one of the things, again, that we all agreed on even before we bought land was that we were not going to move to the country with a "w e/they" approach to people, that we'd be open to getting to know people. A lot of the things that you learn in the city, like acting toward people in a confrontational way, just don't work. Or even a "rule," like "Don't let the police in if they don't have a w arrant."

When the local police chief came and stopped by with his wife shortly after we had just start­ ed building our house, there was no question in our mind but that we were going to be polite to them and show them around and be friendly and open. We didn't have anything to h id e .. . really, (laughter) Not too much anyway.

JOHN: A few painted fingernails!

SHARON: Just put your hands in your pockets!

ALLEN: I think it's worked really w ell. I think I was able to be open about being gay with a lot of people. In a few c a s e s , it was verbalized: in a few cases it was not verbal­ ized because it was just obvious that people knew, and it didn't seem appropriate to talk about it. I don't think we have any bad experi­ ences to report among all of us. And I don't think we've been clo sety .

JOHN: I don’t think people are so afraid of it any more. A lot of that paranoia is just in our heads, you know. It's not real, it's not found­ ed. The media has been saying "gay" for years now. People realize a little bit more of where it*s a t.

STEVE: Don't forget that New England and M assachusetts in particular is extremely libe­ ral.

JOHN: Not New Hampshire!

JERRY: I don’t feel that the people in this com­ munity who we relate to are threatened by our homosexuality at all. They relate to us as peo­ ple just like we relate to them, and I don't think our sexuality really comes into the pic­ ture that much.

BOBBY: 1 don't even think like that! I'm not even identifying myself as being from a gay group any more as far as relating to the commu­ nity. For one thing, I don't think it's a con­ structive feeling or thought to have within me.

And for another thing, it's just not real: this is not a gay community. It's a community of peo­ ple; some people are gay and some people are not gay.

ALLEN: Sometimes it does affect the way I re­ late to other people because I don't have a lover, a partner, the way you do, so in a sense I'm still looking for somebody. My eye is still

JERRY COOKING ON THE GLENWOOD looking for the man who appeals to me physi­ cally. . .

BOBBY: W ell, I still see men who appeal to me, too. Just because I have a partner doesn’t mean I don't look.

ALLEN: OK, but there's more than just the

15

STEVE IN FRONT OF PEAK HOUSE FIREPLACE looking. I'm looking for someone to be a friend and to be a lover, too. Theoretically, since I'm living here, and I no longer have a c ­ cess to the ways that people get to meet each other in the city, like the bars or certain pla­ ce on the street and so on, I feel, w ell, I'm a very up-front person, and if I meet a man who I would like to get to know better, I can be very up-front, I won't be intim idated, I won't even assum e that they’re straight. But all that sounds very good in theory, but in practice it really is hard to make contact with other men. I know that when I go into the coop on Tuesday and there's dozens of people wandering around picking up their groceries, I know that there are other gay people in there, other people who'd be willing to relate to me in that way, but I have no idea how to make con­ tact with them. It just doesn’t seem to work.

SHARON: You mean the old "it takes one to know one" isn 't really true?

ARTIE: You remember the day you wore your blue dress to the coop, Allen, and no one even noticed ?

THE GAMBREL HOUSE

16

STEVE: You should get out your "I'm gay and I'm proud buttons.

SHARON: Or a sandwich board. ..

JOHN: Saying, "I'm gay, proud and available . " ALLEN: I’ve already thought of all those thing s. I even thought of putting a notice up on the bulletin board of the coop (laughter) .

But I thought it would be ridiculous. W ell, there have been a couple of men. . .like you say, it takes one to know one. Sometimes, I think I can tell, and there have been a couple of men, and I started up some conversations, and tried to see where it would go. It didn't go anywhere . So. . .

SHARON: Scratch that idea!

ALLEN: So th at's still a problem. As for the times that I do visit the city, which are less frequent this year than last year. . .that doesn’t seem to be an answer for me.

JOHN: People in the city are so preoccupied with such different things, that it's real hard to re la te .

BOBBY: Steve and I went to Boston the first of December. That was the first time I'd been in Boston since I came back from the W est C oast last January, a year before. And every time I go to the city, there's less and less there that I can relate to at a ll, even meeting people who are there. . .1 don't know what I'd relate to them about. It's really hard.

ARTIE: I just feel funny going into a bar in Bos­ ton and walking up to someone and saying, "How's your bean plants, baby?" I don't have much to talk with people there, it seem s.

W e've become such lovely hillb illies. When we go into town, we get dressed up, but it's not getting dressed up like people in Boston do.

Like we put on our pretty flannel shirt.

STEVE: Bib overalls and barefoot!

JOHN: It is a problem. It seems hard to think of any way to solve it. . .getting to meet other gay people for prurient purposes and meaningful encounters.

ALLEN: For us single folk.

STEVE: Please send pictures!

ARTIE: We all like to relate to a lot of straight people, but at least sometimes I feel I would like to meet some other gay people in the area. I don't know what it is, but sometimes I do like sitting down and relating with other gay people. And th at's besides the whole sexuality thing, or possibility of a hot little affair or something like that. It is still comforting to talk to other gay people and be friendly with them. But I'm really happy with the situation now, even though I miss the other thing.

JERRY: All of my best friends in the community are straight, and most of them are straight coup­ le s. It's been a real challenge for me to get out of the idea of relating to people through their sexuality, because here I had to relate to peo­ ple on other le v e ls, and experience them as

people, and realize that I had a lot of things that I could share with them, and a lot of things that I could learn from them, other than my sexuality. And that part’s been very good and very fulfilling and meaningful to me. But there are times when I get really horny and really lonely, and I’m in the woods, and these straight people, as dear as they are to me, they Just ca n 't fill that gap, they ca n ’t satisfy those needs that I have. And 1 still find that a prob­ lem, you know. Sometimes it would be very nice to have a lover, someone who was special to me, that I could share that part of my life w ith.

ARTIE: And oak trees don’t make it.

JERRY: They sure don't!

STEVE: I don't think I would be here if I didn't have a lover.

ALLEN: A rtie's said something like that to me, too. For some reason, it annoys me when you say th a t.

BOBBY: I think it's a compliment, Allen. I mean it as a compliment to you.

JOHN: That you can handle it.

BOBBY: That you can do what you're doing. Be­ ing here without a lover — I think it's a really heavy trip. You really have to be in to being in the country to be here without having a lover.

JOHN: And without an available sexual outlet.

BOBBY: Yeah.

ARTIE: That's the way I feel too.

ALLEN: Maybe I take it wrong.

SHARON: Yes, it's a heavy trip.

ALLEN: I didn't have a lover when I was in the city . Or if I did, they were short-term relation­ ships. And the city scene didn't appeal to me then, and when I go back to it now, I may par­ take of it for a couple of days, but I come back here. When I'm in the city for a couple of days I don't say, "Oh, boy, this is it! I'm going to stay longer for more!" It doesn't make it.

First of all, I just miss the woods. I really like being in the woods. It gives me incredible satisfaction. Even in this sub-zero weather.

This morning, I took the bucket of garbage from the Octagon to the compost pile. It was a very short walk in very cold w eather, but the sun was shining and the snow was incredibly clean and the sky was blue, and I just felt really good to be here.

BOBBY: Do you bury your compost under the snow or put it on top, or what?

ALLEN: I put it on top.

BOBBY: I always try to throw some white snow on top of it. It looks so ugly with coffee grounds and all those peels and shit on top of it.

SHARON: I figure it'll snow again pretty soon.

ALLEN: I don't have to look at it because it's in a place where I alm ost never go by.

BOBBY: When you're standing there, you're looking at i t .

ALLEN: The next snowstorm comes soon enough, especially this winter.

THE COMMUNITY HOUSE JOHN: It makes no difference to us because Tima digs it up anyway.

ALLEN: Sometimes I cover it with wood ash es.

SHARON: I always think there might be some­ thing that the blue jay wants anyway, so I'll leave it for him to eat.

JERRY: Getting back to the country thing, I think that my sexuality has gone through a lot of changes living out in the country. When I lived in c itie s, I always had a lot of sexual partners, and it was easy to come by, and it was such a casual thing. Sex just didn't have very much meaning for me. You're out here and you very seldom get to relate to people on that level. W henever you do find someone that you can relate to, you want to share that part of them with you. Almost always you have to be their friend, you have to relate to them on some other level as w ell. It's much more mean­ ingful, and I just found that my attitudes about my sexuality have changed as much as my oth­ er attitudes out here. It helps me to be a full­ er person. I’m learning a lot about myself, and

FIREPLACE IN THE COMMUNITY HOUSE

I'm learning a lot about the other people that live here on the land, and th at's helping me re­ late to,the world the way I want to relate to it.

SHARON: I think th at's true. I think I've learned a lot about, myself by not having my mind muddled up with all the different things that go on with a relationship with a man. I'm not really sure how much longer I can be s a tis ­ fied living alone - - satisfied isn 't the right word either - - I'm putting up with it at this point. It's not that I can't live without sex, because if I felt that I couldn't live without sex, I could g o to a bar in town every night and find all the sex I wanted, but that's not what I want in my life at all.

JERRY: I know what I need. And whenever I find that, I'll know it, I can't just have sex with anybody; it's deeper than that to me now, and I think living in the country has helped me to get to that point.

ALLEN: Boy, wait till we see what happens in New York this weekend (laughter) .

JERRY: Those are going to be the few visits to the city where you enjoy it for a few days. . .

JOHN: Hmmm.

ARTIE: How're we doing?

ALLEN: This is almost over.

JOHN: You have to edit out that snow part.

This is the spring issue!

ALLEN: What things do we need to tell them about Butterworth Farm that they absolutely need to know? I just thought of something.

We don't have electricity here, and maybe we should tell people why we don't have electri­ city . Why don't we have electricity?

SHARON: Because it costs five thousand dol­ lars !

JOHN: Because we live on a beautiful road in the country, with trees that arch over it and make a cathedral-like roof, and we don't want the power company to come down the road and cut off half of our cathedral roof to put up their ugly power lines.

ARTIE: It's not like we want to be pioneers .

We all like com forts. But w e're willing to sur­ vive for a while until we can get it together to try and build a windmill or get some solar cells together. Because we do like to relax to play and have comforts .. .

18

JOHN: And listen to the stereo.

ALLEN: W e've made adjustm ents. I really en­ joy kerosene lights, and the rhythm of relating mostly to daylight. And there are differences among us. Some of the houses have generators, not for electric light but for power tools. But Bobby cuts all his wood with a bow saw and an a x , and some of the rest of u s . ..

SHARON: I cut all of my wood with a bow saw and an ax, too, and I can get off on the whole pioneer trip. I find it stimulating and challen­ ging.

JERRY: I've never used a chain saw in my whole life. One of the reasons we don’t have electri­ city is we all have certain opinions about ecol­ ogy and w e're all looking into alternative sour­ ces of energy and things like that. Adapting to kerosene light and wood stoves and things - it's really satisfying and much more meaningful to me.

ARTIE: We should put in that we just watched "Space 1999" on television while the genera­ tor was on to run the water pump!

BOBBY: When I came to the country, for me, getting away from electricity was alw ays step one. Going to the country meant for me getting away from that, because in my experience of living in the country before I came here, that was part of it, and it was one of the things that just enchanted me about it. It made such a dif­ ference in the lifestyle. Just such a differ­ ence! It was part of the magic of country life; it was something I just really felt I needed.

That's why I'm not into having electricity in the house at a ll. As far as woodworking, an d' building the house itself, I want to do it all with just my own power, because there's such a feeling about being in a house and you're around it and see that everything here came from the energy that passed through your body, and not through m achines. It was through your body and the use of hand tools to do it, and the house is heated in the same way. The rhythm and the beauty of that feeling just really gets me off.

BUDDY AND HIS CHISEL

the fantasies have expired & i have had all men in all ways — have had all cockshapes and the most centerfold men and as much at once and as little at once and all the firm and solid and so on and on and on and the men thrusting and the men passive and the men caring and the men cold a n d ...

0 but now 1 want a river home in redwoods far removed from alcohol baths & disco -far far away from you cityw asteland - i will not perish like the others Tom (California)

INDIAN SUMMER I see another me this morning sitting in that one room school house on the Indian reservation at South county Rhode Island in that little one room/ coal stove to heat four classroom s/ I blow my mate in the woods just this side of the school/his brown uncircumcised cock my cheeks embrace the joy of our confederation later we play near rhododendron/then slice our canoe to sasafras Island for the sunset and the setting of us against the one sinewy old giant sasafras/sm ack in the center of our wild/young hearts David (M assachusetts)

r (9

Sally Sunshine Speaks

hen RTD comes in the mail to the Octagon, everyone wants to read it. I don't want to read it as much as the others do. On the other hand, when Country Women comes in the m ail, I am the first to read i t .

When I came to Butterworth Farm, I had never lived with gay men. I had lived with gay women and had known some gay men.

The first summer, I was the only woman on the land and at that time we knew few of our neigh­ bors and other "hippies" in the community. I remember waking up every morning and staring fit myself in the mirror, getting off on my body because it was the only feminine figure I saw, and also appreciating myself sexually because no one else did (that much) . Being the only wo­ man was a hardship. I believe both sexes need to be with their own kind exclusively at times and need the support of their same sex in daily living. Now I have woman friends off the land

and am friends with another woman who lives here.

That summer we built a house. I had ne­ ver done construction work before and had not done much with my hands. The men I worked with were supportive of me in that no one doubt­ ed my ability to do "heavy work." It is a tre­ mendous drain to have to convince others to a l­ low you to do work you may have never done be­ fore. This winter I am trying to work as a la­ borer in construction in W ashington, D .C . , and thanks to my experience at Butterworth, I know that the work is not too hard, though I have a hard time convincing my employers of that.

Being the only woman gave me a special place in the community. I was "Sally Sunshine" - - when the others were having hassles among them selves they could alw ays talk to me and not feel threatened. I am sorry that men do have such a hard time working with each other.

20

At times I would think how different it would be if I were working with women, but I think I was romanticizing about how much better it would b e .

A lot of straight people (straight men e s ­ pecially) have a difficult time when they are a minority among gay people, especially when in an environment (like Butterworth) were no one hides their sexuality. At times I did (and do) get tired of constant talk about gayness (I am bi-sexual and seem to lean more to men) , but since I have not been oppressed because of my sexuality I can 't judge those who have. I do get tense when we have visitors - - it seems that some gay men come to visit who see this as "the new gay way" and wonder what the hell a straight woman is doing there. Some of these men are quite sexist and doubt my contribution to the work. Many whom I have met I like a lot, and we have become friends.

I have lived in cultures other than my own before, and do not want to live exclusively among people like myself (don't really know any anyw ay!). I love Buddy, Allen and Jerry, and I am happy living with them. Last spring, I fell in love with a man on another farm. I lived with him for a few months, but his place is a small cabin and there was not enough space.

He decided that he needed to live alone, and I missed my freedom as a single person. I am looking forward to continuing our relationship when I return to Butterworth, but not living to­ gether. The time I did live with him, I enjoyed being with straight men. They are not "bogey­ men" - - they were working to change their op­ pressive attitudes toward women, as the gay men at the Octagon do. I would hope that at some time straight men could live at Butter­ worth (one already does) .

Katy (D .C. and M ass.)

New look.

Same old great content!

"Important gay journalism... of a very high quality."

Margins Magazine "Very effective advocacy of gay rights... an essential source of relevant inform­ ation.”

Quill & Quire "Mushrooms in a damp base­ ment.”

Toronto Star S u b s c rip tio n *: $2 50/6 issues ($4.00 US) Add $1 00 (or first class (plain envelope) Send io The Body P olitic Depi OW Bo* 7289 Station A Toronto Canada M5W 1X9

SOME NOTES ON LIVING IN THE COUNTRY BY A GAY LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT WHO FEELS CUT OFF FROM THE COUNTRY BY COUNTRY PEOPLE Most of the country people I've met here in Northern California are romantic to ex cess.

They're bourgeois, m iddle-class, not too logi­ cal, and not too self-supporting. They seem to live in the country more as a way of running away from urban gay life than as a way of li­ ving close to the land.

I enjoy living in San Francisco immensely.

San Fran is a varied urbane city , with a gentla white beauty. It is on some of the most beauti­ ful natural unspoiled coastline in the country.

If you w ish, you can spend all your days in an endless rush of tricks, baths, bars, bushes and dead ends. Most of us who live here don't do that. We live warm fulfilling lives with close friends and "meaningful" relationships..

Country folk come to San Fran and head im­ mediately for the baths, re-surface two days later, buy supplies, have lunch with friends, and then jump in the truck and head back to the hills. Then they talk about how m eaningless and frenzied the city is . There's no slut like a country slut at the baths, dear.

I don’t have any great desire to farm. I'm an architect and a landscape architect; th a t’s what I love doing. Unfortunately, they're most­ ly urban endeavors, but they don't have to be.

I don't work a 40-hour week / 50-week year, and I never intend to. I want a life of li­ ving and working in the city for a while, living and working in the country for a while, and travelling for a while, in no special order. I don't want things; I don't want money; I don't want land. I just want to be a happy, warm, loving person. But I feel cut off from my coun­

try desires by the "system" and by the country people who are part of that system .

The country seems to be stagnating to country people. Craftsm en, a rtists, m usicians, e t c ., seem to need connection with each other.

The communication, the feedback, the dialogue don’t seem to happen out there.

How about a rural gay community that in­ cludes year-round residents, seasonal re si­ dents and vacationers. It needn't be “Provincetown" or "Saugatuck" or even "Mendo­ cino," It can be whatever the people who make up the community want it to be.

I don't want to own any land! 1 want the country to be left alone. The country living sites I've seen are just like suburban housing tracts, only the pieces are bigger. They set up territories - - "this land is mine!" — a fief with a plywood dome castle in its center, and 40 acres of defensible moat in the center.

I'm too much of a social animal to want that.

I'm gay in a country that disapproves of gayness. The company of my brothers and s is ­ ters gives me strength and affirmation of my be­ ing. I'll not live outside of the communion of my people.

Is living in a village in the country such a bad idea? Is being a "football field" away from the next homestead significantly less private than being a mile away? W ouldn't it be nice to climb a mountain and not be a mile from somebody's house and on someone e ls e 's land?

Why can't 50 people buy 500 acres and live on 100 of it in a loose village with common barns, common fields and maybe even some cottage industries, for those who aren't farm­ ers ?

Dave (California)

Z i

Rutabaga House Assorted Fruits & Nuts fter spending a year in a student-oriented, lowenergy house in W est Phi­ ladelphia, Ellen & i iecided to get another house­ hold together. So two Aprils ago, John (rny first love), Ellen & i signed a lease for a three-story, 70year-old "m ansion." It bore com plete turn-of-the-century splendor - - parquet floors, stained g la ss, bay windows, and chestnut everywhere.

From banisters to sliding doors. And thus. Ru­ tabaga House was born.

The following summer was unforgettable -after a visit to Butterworth Farm in M assachu­ s e tts , i came to Boulder, Colorado, for Naropa Institute. Ellen continued her Montessori training, & John remained in Phi 11y , stoking the fires of social change. By August, Steve, Deb­ bie, & Justin joined us for our move into our home. Painting, sw eating, spackling, & comb­ ing the streets before trash collection was com­ mon activity, not to mention trips to junk shops for needed appliances. After a month of intense work, our house on 48th street looked and felt like home.

The growth of our family spirit seemed to take place at the dinner table, where we would share our experiences of that day's work. Often dinner lasted two hours, filled with outrageous stories, & some mighty good e a tin '. Cooking dinner was arranged such that each person cooked on a particular day of the week. Not exactly anarchy, i admit - - we also used a "job wheel" to get the house-cleaning done, a must, though, for a house whose members are involved with numerous community activ ities, ranging from our food co-op to community festi­ vals .

Through the Mariposa Food C o-op, we met a good portion of the active members in the community, ranging from the Dyke C ollective around the corner to some community-spirited homemakers down the street. An even more grandiose collective effort was manifested sea­ sonally as the W est Philly Bluegrass & Bouzouki Festival. Mariposa and The Eatery, a vege­ tarian cafeteria collective, would provide the ea ts, John took care of publicity & emceed the musical portion of the festival. Ellen would paint the faces of people wishing to have a mime, or just a spacy sparkle on their skin.

Seven would demonstrate massage & i would do sound mixing, & video-taping of the festival.

22

1 find it hard to write into words the exhilara­ ting feeling we received from working together, whether on a festival, cleaning house, throw­ ing a party, or making a day in the country out of a trip to Ridley Creek to fill 40 jugs with spring w ater.

So many magic moments, never forgotten - in times of high spirit between us, we were more sensitized to each other, a feeling that remained once the "cheap high" subsided. It was as if we developed a "m other's touch" with each other, always able to tell when some­ one was troubled.

After a hard day, "so good to be hom e."

Keeping the house charged with good energy provided a nice space in which to center our­ selv es. Along with joy, burdens were shared,

IN THE KITCHEN: From left to right, Steve, C arl, Ellen, John, Debbie, Sally our strengths and w eaknesses. By pointing out each others' times of spacing out, our work on ourselves was facilitated.

Mass hugs, discovering how many tongues and lips can meet each other at once, six of us in a pile on one bed, sneaking up on someone in order to spring an attack of bear hugs and sloppy kisses on them - - it’s true, the family that loves, stays together. Even when distance has separated us, that distance just makes our family bigger.

This past year also brought the birth and ma­ turation of "Sunshine Gaydream" and "Amazon C ountry," Philly's first weekly gay radio pro­ grams on WXPN-FM, the local University radio station. With John doing alm ost all of the pro­ ducing of Sunshine Gaydream, i took care of the actual engineering of the show. The radio at home was usually on while our show was on

the air - - it was always helpful to have the feedback. John's letters have told me that the show is doing incredibly w ell, with a nation­ wide gay radio network in the making. (Un­ fortunately, the University adm inistration is a t­ tempting to crush the station's responsiveness to its listeners.)

Since i had made my move w est, eventually to a geodesic dome near Boulder, much has hap­ pened. Ellen, who left last May for her lover's farm in Corinna, M aine, never made it to there.

It was a shock to all of us when we received a call from Jam es, in M aine, asking where she was weeks after she left Philly. Police have searched for her, but to no avail. It is certain that she has passed on. God bless her.

Debbie has moved to Ithaca, New York, to start a Karate Dojo. She was considering work with the Alpha Mind Control folks in Philly, but decided instead to put her black belt to use.

Steve is back in the house, after spending some time with the Hippocrates Health Institute, in Boston. Sally, lover of Steve and friend of Ru­ tabaga, is pregnant - - so soon a new "sunseed" will be a new member of Rutabaga. Two ladies have taken D eb's & my place, keeping Rutaba­ g a’s gay spirit going strong. Visiting the house last October, i experienced the same vibe of collective joyful insanity still reigning, with the same warmth and intim acy.

1 hope the Rutabaga Spirit has been captured by what i have w ritten, a spirit that lives within me even though i'm 1800 miles away from that house in the "city of brotherly love."

Carl (Colorado)

now hear tkis !

We received a number of requests from readers to print announcements for events and pro­ grams, and due to a shortage of space we have tried to condense them here: LESBIAN AND GAY MALE THEATRE RESOURCES,. 59 Christopher St. , New York NY 10014, is "in the process of com­ piling a national resource list for gay theatre groups, scripts, performances s p a c e s " ...

Michael of New Jersey is a gay vet involved in a veterans' self-help project. For information, contact the national coordinator, LAWRENCE MORGAN, PO Box 865, Lawrence KS 66044. . . .

Coming up in Texas is a conference "to explore how gay women and men relate culturally with non-gay women and men": GAY IN SAN ANTO­ NIO - - A SENSE OF BELONGING, Box 2036, Universal City TX 78148, phone 512-655-3724 ___ IRIS FILMS, Box 26463, Los Angeles CA 90026 is "presently doing research and fund­ raising for a film about Lesbian Mothers and and child custody which we will produce in the summer of 1976. " . . . .Neil of San Francisco is a gay brother who wants company as he works with the New World Fair, "a seed family of dedicated brothers and siste rs. . .centering in the San Francisco area to live and work to­ gether in order to focus enerqies on evolving a world's fair of alternative lifew ays. The fair will be on the W est C oast in the summer of 1976." Contact: Neil Sunrise, NEW WORLD FAIR, 625 Post, Box 259, San Francisco CA 94102.

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more letters

RFD, We are a gay collective of 2 women, 1 male (me) , and 1 child, out here in the country of South Jersey, We all really enjoyed your is ­ sues. . . .Your magazine gets heavy reading around here by all our gay friends who pile in for weekend dinners and they all say keep up the great work. I'd like to see more articles on vegetarian diets and protein-rich vegetables that we could grow. And are there any other gay collectives or communes here in South Jersey?

John R. Miller Animal Farm Box 39 RFD 2 Monroeville NJ 08343

Finding the geographical location that feels right, for living, loving, and learning has had its trials and tribulations. Now that I have sense of being at home, I would like to contact other gay men. To share this most precious W illamette River Valley. I am a man alone, who needs other men. I would be grateful to hear from some of you folks.

Richard Scott General Delivery Eugene OR 97401 Dear RFD, We are a small group of people currently building a house and expanding our garden in the New England woods. We welcome visitors who can adapt to rustic living conditions and who are willing to Join with us in whatever is happening - - the work, the good food, the Joys and woes of Our struggle to live in harmony with nature and with one another.

The Octagon (M ass.) c /o RFD

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Dear RFD, I live on the outskirts of Augusta, Montana (pop. 500) in a log cabin on the Sun River. I'd like to share the cabin with a guy who is into living in the country. Lots of room for garden.

My name is Jim and I'm 23. Maybe if you print this someone looking for a rural situation would find a home here. Thanks.

Jim Box 2 1 Augusta MT 59410

Dear Friends at RFD, I have been thinking about y.ou all for seve­ ral days now and was about to write you another note when the new issue of the "Stonewall Re­ port" arrived from Seattle this morning. The main story concerned their attem pts at setting up a Stonewall R .F .D ., and the problems they are having in getting suitable property. As ma­ ny of us country faggots are interested in a ru­ ral community when we are released from the loving care of the State of California for ex­ pressing our sexuality, we are naturally inter­ ested in the locations of existing communities or in communicating with those who are so in­ clined but have not gotten anything off the ground yet.

My request is: Anyone in the W est C oast area who is living in an existing community or planning one, please write me and let me know what type of community you have, and what the requirements are for joining in your communal living situation. I will pass on the information to those here at Atascadero who are going to be released soon. This information can be used by the patients as part of their post-hospital plan­ ning if it suits them. What we really need here is some understanding from our "outside" broth­ ers and siste rs. We are not "nuts," but have been placed in a "M ental Hospital" to deal with our problems; and for most, it's better than go­ ing to the "joint." By the time we leave here, we know more about ourselves and our sexuali­ ty, and can function better in the outside world than many "straight-sane" people.

Yours for a better GAY LIFE, Gerry L. Olson Drawer A Atascadero CA 93422

My height is S’ 10". I like to dance and meet peoples, especially Gay peoples. My age Is 25. Now if there is any more information you need you please let me know. Gay is beautiful.

Thomas Breamfield PO Box 747 Starke TL 32091

Dear RFD— Don’t know where to start - - so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Thank you for being.

For the last year you’ve kept me in touch with one of my goals; to live simply & on land that I own. Your magazine reaffirms my desire to realize that goal. Sometimes I lose sight of it, since it seems so far away, but regularly, four times a year, RFD arrives & makes it all seem possible again. Thanks, too, for John Upson’s "Opposites A ttract." I've read it several times & it never fails to move me. . . .

Love, Daniel San Francisco

Dear RFD Friends, While I am living in an urban area, I really love the country and have lived in the country.

1 would like very much to v isit guys now living on the land in Northern California and Oregon.

Please write if you would like sharing for a weekend your experiences, com panionship, fresh air, and beautiful country with someone truly interested in what you are doing.

Andy (California) c /o RFD * * * Hi.

First I would like to say I am very much in­ terested in corresponding with some Gay Queen who is willing to write to a very lonely prison­ er, in a short relationship or a long-term one.

I am a very serious person and will answer all mail, and will exchange pictures if so desired.

Here is a little something about me. I am Black, which I hope won't make a difference.

My home is Miami, Fla. My weight is 160 lbs.

Dear Darlings; Hi. W ell, it's been a long tim e. I'm still here in the federal prison system . I was trans­ ferred from Sandstone here to Leavenworth in July along with 32 others. They tried to tell us it was crowded there. But of course, as you know, my home is in M innesota so the transfer was illeg al. I lost your address and couldn't possibly remember it up to now. Isn 't that odd?

I was lying here on my bunk and it just came to me. Your code name and address. Hey guys, I'm lonesom e. I haven't seen an outsider in 20 months and still have 5 more to go. Do you think you could come up with some one nice to write to me. . .about 20 to 35, huh? Someone that likes the country and common way of life and nature's love. Someone that wants to rough it and live in the woods and keep cozy on cold winter nights. I can make someone awful happy.

Just in case you don't remember. I'm still w hite, 5'5" tall, 140 pounds, black frosted hair, blue e y e s, lonely. Do you think you can find some­ one near that description for me. I'm big in heart and love stick but small in size, which makes it nicer loving. Well I hope I hear from you a ll.

Bill Martin 09717-147-B.D .

P O Box 1000 Leavenworth KS 66048

I'm English, gave up my profession to do what I need, to grow. If this letter seems in­ tellectual it's because of the circum stances.

I'm capable of giving my warmth and opening up, as well as of being cool.

An attempt is to reduce my dependence on goods others make, and to reduce the environ­ mental harm I allow . Another is to correct the heterosexual bias found in humanistic therapies and psychologies in which lately I've been in­ volved .

Each of these leads me to rural gays, as my suspicion is you may be more committed to avoid the superficiality and desperation of city gay scenes (or are you basically hermits?) . In England, rural gays apparently do not ex ist.

So I'd like to meet you, readers of R.F. D. , see you farming and talk, perhaps work some.

Please write about yourselves, both country and town based. I'll reply soon, and as I plan my fifth North American visit to be lengthy and this year, we could meet soon, or when you come to London, at my place here sometime.

The other path that takes me over to your countries is my previous learning experiences from the culture shocks I had over there. Your conspicuous w astage, and the violence, great­ er ease with strangers and less ritual and tra­ dition, am I right? All this and more yet, such as the spaces and d istances. All take away my securities - - blow my mind.

Michael Brown 26 Fordington Road London N.6 Enqland

Dear RFD, Your survey sucks, but your latest issue (Fall issue) is beautiful. The Sexual Tension article; George’s poem about fire, death, & life; and Lyle Finley's letter were all extremely moving. I think it's a good sign that your mag­ azine always makes me cry. It also makes me dance. Several days ago I went to a deserted beach at sunset. Egged on by your articles on dance, I make my dark silhouette against the golden cliffs take the form of the waves and the gulls. Too tired to dance any longer, I collapsed on a log and watched the sun pene­ trate the Pacific. Just wanted to let you know your magazine is much appreciated. Sincerely and with much love, Lanz (California)

Hi RFD, I received the summer issue of RFD and I really enjoyed reading it. I have found my stay here in prison to be enlighten somewhat now - the appreciation of your publication of RFD is among the highest. I would like to hear from other males and females — on the outside or in prison like myself, that would like to (brain storm through the mails) share views and be­ liefs. By doing so, we would be planting new seeds in each other. . .ways of living and watch it day by day until it has growing into a very positive but yet meaningful flower — one that is welcoming and freshing. There is a season for every soul.

LeRoy Hickmon #135237 PO Box E Jackson MI 49204

v v ^ v V v v v v v v v v V 'V 'V V v \/ V v v v v V v V V X '

26

v

Dear RFD, . ..l a m hanging out here in S.F. a few months planning my next move. . . .

My Spiritual Awakening started in A.A. in 1970. Before then I was a head queen in the Lower East Side in N .Y .C . . . .Through A.A. and Ram D ass' Be Here Now I have been traveling and searching the last two years. Ananda Cooperative Village in Nevada C ity, C alif, and their book Cooperative Commu­ n ities, How to Start Them and Why is the best thing I have seen so far. I spent a week with them last year but the poor Swami is anti-gay, so I would like to get involved with a drug-free Gay Spiritual Community that eventually would have a house in the City to help forlorn street Gays and a farm in the country where the core of the community would operate from.

Products could be made in the country and sold in the city . I think there is a potential na­ tural flow between city and country based on Gay identity and Spiritual needs.

R .F .D ., you sure are good news. Thank you for letting me bend your ear. I sure would like to visit you, if that is possible. I have a back pack and a sleeping bag. . . .

Richard Somers Apt. #4 935 O'Farrell S t.

San Francisco CA 94109

To my friends who live m the country.

From a city brother who directs himself to learn­ ing to live in a rural environment eventually: I am glad that you are living well and 1 un­ derstand that such contentment and or slavelaboring as occupies your time does not leave you in a mood conducive to epistolizing your life to one of their unhappy city-boys.

Some of your compadres say y'er English ain 't reefined enough. B.S., my friend.

If you will speak, in whatever voice you use, you can make my learning and my transi­ tion go easier.

If you don’t speak I’ll make it on my own.

Many who have been vocal in these pages are new to this "country living" thing. Our elocution is proper but our foundation in expe­ riences is new and still forming. We reach to each other for support a little, but mostly for the exchange of facts.

Like: How to make it work.

I am willing to work hard. I do that now.

I'll continue. I'm going to make a lot of mis­ tak es, bruise some sensibilities on both sid es. I'll always "talk bookish"; I'll often sound callous to your ways.

I expect that I'll continue to wax lyri­ cal at times and rom anticize "My New Life" (when I finally get out of here) . Or I'll flip over to overstating my difficulties, act home­ sick, paranoid, adolescent.

You, who have already learned these les­ sons, you can help me. You can be the thoughtful person who writes Helpful Hints to H eloise. I would be grateful for your a s s is t­ ance.

But. . .regardless of your help. . .I'll conti­ nue to try. I'll learn, and I'll learn how to talk your way.

Much affection to you.

Rick Feld PO Box 5243 San Francisco CA 94101

aw APRIL 30.MAYU IOWA dlTYJA.

for more information: GAY LIBERATION FRONT c /o STUDENT ACTIVITIES CENTER IOWA MEMORIAL UNION IOWA CITY IA 52240

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MOMENT A whlsp of the past tinged with regret A remembrance of dreams gone blind C hallenges unmet Men and women who passed and paused Their glances unmet Not yet Never yet Doors never opened Words not said Action postponed until meaning was dead I am tw enty-five years old Opportunities have been missed Fear has stopped my lips I ran from what I wanted most A host of dreams consumed my youth Anxious fantasy never fulfilled it was the forfeit in every game Thfe physical consequence I feared 1 feared the actual moment when one must pay up I had nothing in my wardrobe to simulate nakedness] Better to be X-rayed and pretend not to know I have smoked too many cigarettes Drained too many glasses Mustering just a little more courage A little more support for a flagging smile I smiled when 1 would rather have screamed No one has been deceived so much as myself Opportunities have been missed They will not be m issed again

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Today I begin This very moment I begin Liquidating the past with impunity I declare myself free I stand on my own legs and survey the horizon It is grander than I thought I take in a great huge gulf of air And holding on to nothing Release myself into the present To be whatever it may be that I am Never ceasing Facing my fear I relinquish securities Realities Futurities Giving up the search I find what I had sought I am grander than I thought I take hold the untenable and wrap it round I stand upon the winds and my feet don’t touch the ground My beauty surrounds me It astounds me to be what I am Nothing has been missed All is opportunity

Erin (New York)

george and kate live ten miles away on jolly farm we see each other as often as we can but not as often as we would like george is twenty six he is tall and graceful as a deer he has long black hair and eyes as blue as the summer sky kate is thirty she is full of love and always has a smile smile that comes from deep within george and kate have been a couple for five years they share everything and go everywhere together i have known them for one year now -- sometimes we dance together or go for long walks in the woods they taught me how to can pickles we chop wood and go sledding together - - sometimes i stay with them for the weekend we get stoned we laugh we talk late into the night i sleep in their room on the floor between their bed and the wood stove it is warm and friendly now it is snowing outside george and kate have gone to idaho i sit here thinking of them i hope they are safe and happy but i look forward to the time when we can be together again george and kate are in love so am i

helen has her mind on the people she has her trust in the stars her heart in her hand and her soul in her eyes she was a stranger when we first touched at the lake she took me in and we were lovers we grew together in spirit our lives took different paths but we are friends forever

Jerry (M assachusetts)

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RECIPE -for a SMALL CABIN This is a recipe for a small cabin. The recipe can be followed by anyone, we hope, In­ cluding someone who has not made a building before. We think you are as likely to succeed with this cabin as a beginner is likely to suc­ ceed with baking a cake - - if the directions are followed, it's pretty hard to go wrong. By building a small cabin such as this, it is pos­ sible to make the move to a country setting sooner than you think. We are publishing this cabin plan in the hopes that it will encourage people to really do it — to make the move to the country now! The amount of effort and mo­ ney involved is small enough that you can con­ sider doing a cabin like this even if you don't own your own land (perhaps a friend will let you put one up on his or her place) , and even if you have no long-range viable plan for country living. In our ca se , we built this small cabin (we call it the Fern Cottage) in or­ der to have housing while we worked on our larger, permanent house. Later, it would serve as a summer retreat or a guest house, or could be given to a friend. (In fact, Steve's sister Sharon lives there now.) When we realized that we Couldn't finish our permanent house by that first w inter, we installed a wood-burning stove to heat the cabin and even without insu­ lation we were comfortable. We have tried to make this cabin plan seem realistic. If it ap­ pears difficult on first reading, we urge you to try going through it again. It isn 't all that dif­ ficult, really.

I. INTRODUCTION The cabin we were planning had to satisfy certain needs. We needed shelter from rain, wind, cold and in sects. The cabin had to pro­ vide a place to prepare and eat meals with re­ lative ease and comfort. We needed a place to sleep and to relax. The entire construction could take only six w eeks. We could spend $600. Once we had figured these needs we were ready to choose a site and design the ca­ bin to fulfill them .

II. SITE Choosing the site for our cabin was a twopart process. First the site needed to meet certain practical requirem ents. W ater needed to be close at hand for both drinking and w ash­ ing. We wanted sunlight to light and heat the house durinq the day, but we also wanted shade during the hot w eather. The site needed to De convenient to the other areas of the land, where we would be working and socializing, but with the necessary sound and visual seclusion. Se­ cond, we wanted the site to say to us: "this is

30

THE FERN COTTAGE i t ! " The section of the woods where we chose to build our cabin is an established neighbor­ hood of rocks, brook, trees, ferns, squirrels, mice and deer. Then there are the spirits re si­ ding with them, and the spirits among them.

Choosing the final site was a matter of going to the various spots that met the practical re­ quirements and choosing the one where our energies were most compatible with the neigh­ bors already in residence.

The site we chose was a small level clear­ ing with the brook running on three sid es. Hem­ locks and maples offered refreshing coolness on the summer's day, though we realized that the shade trees meant there would not be a good southern exposure and would limit the direct so­ lar heat so welcome on the cool days of spring and fall. On the spot where we were to build the cabin were many ferns, but rather than tram­ ple upon them, we transplanted them nearby, a gesture which the neighborhood seemed to ap­ preciate, for we felt a warm welcome there.

III. DESIGN. Given the short time span and low budget for construction, the primary goal was efficient use of small space.- We decided on a 12' X 12' structure. By creating loft space (accessible by means of a built-in ladder) , we expanded oyr living space. Downstairs was the kitchen­ dining area. Upstairs we created two lofts se ­ parated by a w all. The larger loft had our

double bed. The sm aller served as a little pri­ vate sitting area, which could also be a guest bedroom. We installed permanent screens with removable windows to give the feeling of out­ doors when the weather perm itted. Given the dark woodsy setting, we included a skylight in the roof space between the two lofts.

IV. THE MODEL Constructing the three-dim ensional model from the drawing of our design was invaluable in several w ays, and it can serve the same pur­ poses for you: 1) It enables you to visualize the space. 2) It shows how and where the pie­ ces of lumber fit together. 3) It's an easy way to take count of how much lumber you need.

4) The model's rigidity reflects its structural strength. In other words, if the model w iggles, your house is going to wiggle, and if you can build a good model, you're well on your way to building a good house.

Balsa wood in a multitude of dimensions can be found in most good hobby shops. Buy the balsa wood to scale. For example, in our model, we used 1/16" in the model to 1" in the building, which means a 2 X 4 is shown in the model as 1/8 X 1/4 - - so for our 2 X 4s, we used balsa wood that was 1/8" X 1/4". The same scale holds for the length of the timbers - - a 12'-long timber is 9" long in the model.

A couple of rough sketches were drawn of the 12'-square structure, and from these we be­ gan assem bling a balsa wood model of the frame of the building. This model is actually a miniature of the actual cabin's framework.

Every structural member, including braces, which make up the frame, has its correspond­ ing miniature in the model. The balsa wood miniature was assem bled with ordinary straight pins. (See photograph of model below.)

V. TOOLS Hand tools (as opposed to power tools) of­ fer freedom, independence and control. A per­ son may find it difficult to maintain his or her center when working with power tools, though others may use them comfortably. The Fern C ottage was built with hand tools. If tools are sharp and true, they give pleasure when used.

It's worth your time to keep your tools in good condition and w ell-organized in their own loca­ tion. If there are two hardware stores in your

town, one offering cheap tools at discount pri­ c e s , and one offering higher quality tools at higher prices, we urge you to find the money for the better tools, if at ali possible. An ex­ cellent though expensive source of fine hand tools is W oodcraft. They will send you their catalog on request: Woodcraft Supply Corp. , 313 Montvale Ave. , Woburn MA 01801. The cost of tools is not included in our $600 budget for this house.

The following list includes all of the tools we used to build the Fern C ottage. Some sub­ stitutions ( e .g ., power skill saw) may be made.

1. Shovel 2. Level (3-ft.)

3. Measuring tape (16-ft.)

4 . C rosscut saw 5. Rip saw 6. C arpenter’s Square 7. Combination Square 8. Bit brace 9. 1/2" bit 10. Hammer (16 oz .)

11. C hisel (1" to 1 1/2") 12. M allet (wooden) 13. Bevel 14. Jack plane 15. Knife 16. Tin snips 17 . Screw driver 18. C rescent wrench 19. C at's paw (for removing nails) 20. Small hand drill (eggbeater type) and 1/8" bit 21. Pencil VI. MATERIALS The amount of money spent on m aterials was dependent on the amount of time we had to build the Fern C ottage. Much money can be saved by using recycled lumber and hardware, second-hand windows and doors, etc . Howev­ er, it takes much time to find the recyclable m aterials and sometimes additional time to put them in usable condition. In building the Fern C ottage, we used recyclable m aterials that were readily available, and carefully shopped for the new item s. We bought new, green (un­ seasoned) rough-sawn lumber from a local saw ­ yer, and designed our construction methods to accommodate for the shrinkage of green lumber.

The windows and sink were bought from a sal-

31

yard. The list that follows is what we used to build the Fern Cottage: FRAMb* Foundation timbers 2 14' X 4" X 10 Pieces (a) 10 12* X 2" X 4" Pieces (b) 10 14' X 2" X 4" Pieces (c) 5 12’ X 2" X 10 Pieces (d) 5 10* X 2" X 6" Pieces (e) 5 12* X 2" X 6" Braces 3 10' X 2" X 4" Spacers etc.

5 12' X 2" X 6" Sheathing, etc .

750 board-feet random width boards, 1" thick Flooring 300 square feet tongue and groove planking with actual thickness no less than 1 5/8" * Note: The letters in the above list refer to the drawing of the structural unit included in this article. If green lumber is not available, use larger size stock. Instead of a 2 X 4, purchase a 2 X 6; instead of a 2 X 6 , purchase a 2 X 8. W hereas green lumber gives you true measurement, and often a little bit more, dried, planed lumber Is usually a bit sm aller, and in this c a se , it would not be adequate.

If a 4 X 10 timber is not available, make one up by taking three 2 X 10s and nailing them together in an overall pattern.

The amount of framing lumber used on fi­ nishing the interior of the cottage is very depen­ dent on the number and size of windows, shelves, clo sets, cupboards, etc, that are in­ cluded in your interior plans. We finished the interior using green rough sawn wood. It worked; however, as the wood has dried, leaks appeared around windows, etc. You may prefer to use dried , planed lumber for interior work, even though the cost is higher. We used the following to finish the interior: 8 12' X 2" X 4" 18 8' X 2" X 4" 9 2 1/2' X 3/8" X 9 10' X 2 1/2" X 3/8" battens for around window screens 18 X 4" aluminum flashing for counter-top 1 hand pitcher pump for w ell, plus pipes 30 7" X 1/2" carriage bolts, with nuts and washers door hinges and hardware cupboard hinges and knobs 50 lb. box of 8d box nails 5 lb s. 6" pole barn spikes (spiral) use for nailing (c) pieces to 4 X 10 5 lbs. 8d finishing nails 10 lb s. 1" galvanized roofing nails vage

° f La U

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1

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THE rOUNDA r /O N IS SQC/AdC W H E N O IA O IO N A L M E A S O P M E k/T S TAKEN PAOM O P P O S IT E COPTVEQ POINTS A K E THE SA M E

—-

8 lbs. 3d galvanized box nails use for shinglinq 5 lbs. lOd finishing nails window screening (use nylon screening, which is the same price and is easier to work with skylight 12' X 26" opalescent corrugated fiberglass with four wooden nailing strips 1 small box roofing nails with neoprene washers 190 sq. ft. 60-lb. roll roofing 350 sq. ft. 15-lb. roofing felt 5 squares #4 cedar shingles 5 gal. roofing cement VII. FOUNDATION The foundation co nsists of four sim ple, small piers which support the building at four points (two points along each of two notched 4 X 10s at the base of the cabin) . Each of the two 4 X 10s must be notched in order to accom­ modate each of the five vertical structural units. (See drawing below.)

Because green lumber is often sized slight­ ly irregularly, and to be sure your floor will be level, it is importaht to make any necessary ad­ justm ents in the notches. The point is that the top of all df the (c) pieces must be the same d is­ tance from the top of the 4 X 10. In other words, you don't measure the distance of the notch, but rather you measure the distance of the timber that will rise above the top of the 4 X 10.

When making notches, mark the space carefully with a pencil, saw down into the notch at each end of the notch and several times in betw een. Then use a mallet and ch i­ sel to complete the notch. The chisel is per­ haps the most dangerous hand tool we used — aw areness of its sharpness and common sense will prevent injuries. Do not chisel toward your body; the sharp end of the chisel should always be facing away from your body or your fingers.

11.4*M6* 42*44' w -!527* ? ktvwrvorm+J ----------■„■■■ -------— a i ______ --------------------------A U --------------------- Hk---------------------- -------------- -----------CEMENT

BLOC*

BLOCK

The piers were designed to be underneath the building, thereby keeping the foundation dry and less subject to frost heaves and other problems with m oisture. For each pier, we used three ordinary concrete blocks. We located the exact spot for the pier, carefully dug a custom made hole for two blocks (side by side) . We disturbed the earth as little as possible, and when the hole was dug, we tamped the bottom of the hole hard and smooth and firm. We then placed the two blocks in place, side by side, filled earth around the sides of the block, and then placed the third block on top across the other two blocks.

We placed the two notched 4 X 10s on the piers (lengthwise) and then proceeded to level them. Levelling can be a bit tricky. First, we leveled one of the 4 X 10s, by using 1“ boards on top of the blocks where necessary. Then we leveled the other 4 X 10. At this point, both 4 X 10s were level, but one was slightly higher than the other. The final step was to make sure both 4 X 10s were the same height, and this was accom plished by removing or adding 1" boards as needed. (See drawinq on previous page, top.)

VIII. CONSTRUCTION The cabin is made of five identical struc­ tural units, each including seven pieces of lumber bolted toqether in six places. (See drawing below.)

There are actually two pieces where (a) and (b) are indicated, with single pieces (c) , (d) and (e) sandwiched between the double pie­ ces and bolted at the points indicated by "+" on the drawing. (Also see photographs of the model.) All dimensions for these units are in­ dicated on the draw inq.

In order for the w alls of the building to be straight, the five units must be identical. To ensure th is, pay special attention to the care­ ful measurement of all pieces, and in particular to the right angle where (a) meets (c) and where (a) meets (d) . The angle were (b) meets (c) is determined autom atically by the length of the p ieces, and this angle will be correct and uni­ form if the measurement is correct and uniform.

The unit can be assem bled by laying the pieces on any flat surface; for us, the 4 X 10 foundation timbers proved to be a handy surface.

We laid the pieces across the 4 X 10s in their approximate locations as if the unit were laying down. The two (a) pieces and one end of (c) , (d) , and (e) can be cut square in advance, but the other ends will stick out a bit and will be cut off at the proper angle once the unit is ready for assem bly and you have marked with a pencil where they should be cut.

Place the pieces exactly according to the m easurem ents, mark them, and cut off where ne­ cessary . The holes for the bolts are centered in each of the six intersections. The pieces should be temporarily nailed together, the holes

drilled, and then the unit taken apart. (Warn­ ing: Make sure you mark each piece by indica­ ting whether it is unit 1, 2, 3, 4, or S. You won't confuse a ,b ,c ,d , or e, because each fits only in its place, but it may help you to mark the pieces with both a letter and a number.)

Each of the six bolting positions requires that a hole be drilled carefully through each of three intersecting pieces. Be careful not to move the unit while drilling holes. The unit should be numbered and disassem bled and stacked carefully off to the sid e. When you number your pieces, mark with a magic marker on the end grain, keeping in mind that much of these pieces will be showing inside the cabin.

IX. ERECTION Why bolts? Green wood shrinks as it dries (in thickness, but not in length) , and if the frame is secured with n ails, the building will loosen up as the wood dries. It's OK to nail down flooring and sheathing, however.

Bolts can be tightened as necessary. When placing the bolt , stick it through the holes in the three pieces of wood, then place a w asher, and finally secure the nut. During erection, tighten the nuts moderately, allowing the pie­ ces to move as necessary, and leave final tightening until after the erection is com pleted.

Place the bottom horizontal piece (floor joist) (c) in place In the notches of the 4 X 10.

The joist should be toe-nailed in place (nailed through the side of the joist into the 4 X 10) .

Take the two vertical (a) pieces, put them In place on both sides of piece (c), and fasten the nut-and-bolt where (c) meets (a) — but don't tighten com pletely. Use a level to make certain that (a) pieces are vertical, and nail a temporary diagonal brace to (a) and (c) so that (a) remains vertical. The angle where (a) meets

Take the two vertical pieces (b) and place them on both sides of (c) and fasten with the bolt and nut, not tightening all the way, and also place horizontal piece (d) in its place be­ tween the two (b) pieces, bolting it loosely enough so that the pieces can move. With the (b) pieces leaning toward the (a) pieces, bolt (d) to the two (a) pieces while pushing the (b) pieces up into their near-vertical position.

The (e) pieces will not be put in place un­ til all of the five units are erected. Continue this process until all five units are erected.

After the second unit is erected, nail a tempo­ rary brace across the (a) pieces of units 1 and 2 to prevent their wobbling. Continue nailing braces of this type as you erect the five units.

Nail a board at least 12 feet long across all of the (b) pieces for more strength. (This is another temporary brace, so don’t nail it in all the way.)

Now, spacers (2" X 6”) must be placed between the (c) pieces. Stagger for easy nail­ ing in the general area above the notched 4 X 10s (the exact placement is not that impor­ tant) . There are eight spacers in a ll, two be­ tween each of the five (c) pieces. These are held in place by nailing through the sides of the (c) pieces.

Lay several planks across (d) , which is In fact the floor level of your loft sp aces. These planks are used to step on as you put (e) pie­ ces In place, fastening them with the bolts to (a) and (b).

Loosen the braces holding units 1 and 2, and make sure that the (a) pieces are level in all directions, or plumb. Once they are verti­ ca l, fasten the (a) pieces of unit 1 and 2 with temporary braces, but this time put the braces on the inside w all. This will permit you to af­ fix the permanent braces later on the outside w all. Proceed from units 1 and 2 to units 2 and (c) is a precise 90 degrees, which you can check with a square. The temporary brace will hold the unit in place as you assem ble it, and it must be strong, so use a 1" X 4" board about 8 feet long, nailing it to (a) about 4 feet up.

3 4

3, and so on, plumbing the (a) pieces down the line. In addition to using a level, you can check to see if the pieces are plumb by measu­ ring to be certain that it measures exactly 3 feet from the center of (d) in unit 1 to the center of (d) in unit 2, and so on. Make sure tempora­ ry braces are fastened as you go, on both the inside w alls made by (a) and (b) p ie ces.

Now, with all five units erected and plumb, tighten all nuts and bolts.

Braces are very critical to building and must be used to give rigidity to the structure.

The strongest brace is one positioned at a 45 degree angle. Priority must be given to the placement of braces; window and door locations should be decided afterward.

The wall formed by the (a) pieces has four 1" X 4" diagonal braces, which, when in­ stalled , will form a diamond Dattern. The bra­ ces cannot simpiy oe nailed into tne (a) pieces because we want the wall to be flush so that the sheathing can be nailed onto it. So the braces must be notched into the (a) pieces.

Photos of the model show the position of braces. See also drawing above.

Note that the braces join the (a) pieces without joining (c) , (d) or (e) — which means it's less notching and also not quite exactly a 45-degree angle (but close enough) . To deter­ mine the position of the notches to be made in the (a) pieces, temporarily ns’.l the braces in place and mark where they cross the (a) pieces with a pencil. Then, using a ch isel, cut the notches one inch deep. (Again, adjust the depth of the notch to the actual thickness of the board being used as a brace.)

On the outside pairs of (a) p ieces, the brace goes to the outermost (a) piece, and where the braces meet on the middle pair of (a) pieces, each brace goes only as far as the nearest (a) piece. The braces on the (b) wall are installed in a sim ilar manner, but since this is a larger w all, the pieces will be longer.

For the remaining two w alls, braces are also needed. Place a 2 X 4 just below piece

LA0O C R T O U3TTJ A N O 0 0 0 8 T O S M A L L LO T T CAN G O O N H IG H Oft L O W S I D E

(d) in between the two (a) pieces, and place the other end the same distance from the corner of (a) and (c) - - making a precise 45 degree angle).

Where the brace meets the two (a) pieces, it fits in between them, and a hole needs to be drilled and a bolt put in place. Where the brace meets the (c) piece, there is only one (c) piece, and the brace should be bolted so that it rests on the outside of (c) . The brace will be slightly askew , but strong, and by fas­ tening it on the outside of (c) , it will not inter­ fere with the laying of the floor or deck.

The remaining braces on these two walls are installed in a sim ilar manner. (See photo of model.) There should be at least one brace above, and one brace below the horizontal piece (d) on the wall with no overhanging loft.

Put only one brace on the lower level of the side where you plan to install a door.

XI. DECK If you don’t use tongue-and-groove (that’s what we used) or ship-lapped planks, and you just lay planks side by side, you will end up with spaces which will allow cold and insects to enter.

On the first floor, the planks lay across the (c) horizontal boards, extending two inches beyond the outside (c) board (so that the floor­ boards are flush with the outermost (a) pieces.

This will facilitate the nailing of the sheathing.

For strength, when nailing planks vary the an­ gles of the nails at a slight diagonal off perpen­ dicular .

XII. LOFT DECKS There are two loft decks, with a space bebetween them. The smaller loft deck spans the two floor joists (d) , but overhangs the outer one by two feet. This is the overhanging loft. The larger loft deck spans three floor joists (d) , and overhangs only 2 inches to permit the flush nail­ ing of sheathing (See drawing above.)

XIII. FRAMING WINDOWS AND DOORS Experiment with window locations until you are happy with them. (Presumably, you've already decided on a door location.) At both ends of the cabin, nail a 2 X 4 on the deck, flush with the ends of the deck, and on the un­ derside of (d) so that two inches of the 4" side of the 2X 4 protrude out (making a flush sur­

face with the outside ec .es of (a) and (b).

Note: These 2 X 4s have a double purpose they serve as frames for the windows, and as nailing surface for the sheathing. Do not place the 2 X 4 on the floor where the door will be. Place vertical 2 X 4s so that they wdll butt up against the sides of your windows and the door. Add additional 1 X 4s above and below windows if necessary, and above door, if ne­ cessary . The framing of the second floor takes place in a similar fashion, except on the loft which overhangs -- th is will be framed after the building is sheathed.

XIV. SHEATHING A preliminary objective is to get all exteri­ or w alls so they have a flush nailing surface.

If you have framed the windows and doors as suggested in the previous section, no new ef­ fort may be needed. 3ut check to make sure that the sheathing boards have a nailing sur­ face at all points. Starting on the vertical wall (a) , nail boards from outside, working from bot­ tom up. At the level of floor joist (d) , extend the sheathing two feet in both directions beyond the frame of the building — on one sid e, the extension will form the wall of the overhanging loft, and on the other side the extension pro­ vides a rain shelter for the other loft window.

Wall (b) is sheathed exactly the same as wall (a) , except wall (b) will not have any windows.

Don’t forget on this side also to extend sheath­ ing two feet in both directions beyond the frame of the building. Wall (b) acts essentially as a roof because of its slant. The end w alls will presumably be mostly windows (and door), but sheathing must be placed in the remaining sp aces. (See drawing below.)

sloping tviH t*

7~

shap ed

XV . ROOF AND SKYLIGHT The roof sheathing runs across the (e) pie­ ces , overhanging two feet on both en d s. After the roof is sheathed with boards, the skylight unit is placed over the space between the two lofts. In the space where the skylight is to be placed, the sheathing should extend only seve­ ral inches over the pieces (e) on each side of the skylight opening, just enough so that the skylight unit rests on the edges of both sid es.

In addition, the first and last pieces of roof sheathing, those at the uppermost and lower­ most edge of the roof, should not be cut at the skylight opening, but should run clear across the house, thus providing resting places for

35

the ends of the skylight unit.

The skylight consists of one 12-foot length of corrugated opalescent fiberglass, ap­ proximately 26" wide. It s easier to install this leak-proof skylight than you may think, and without the skylight, the cabin would be quite dark. To make the skylight waterproof, we suggest the following: First, construct a frame for the skylight out of 1 X 4s. Use two 2 X 4 pieces to pro­ vide spacers inside the frame. Next take the wooden "corrugated" pieces that are especial­ ly made for installing this m aterial, and put one on each end and on each of the two spa­ cers. These wooden rests (four in all) fit the curves of the fiberglass and offer support.

Nail the frame to the roof.

To cover the roof, use roll roofing laid in the same direction as the boards. Follow in­ structions on the package for overlap and seal, using roofing cem ent. When affixing the roof­ ing paper at the skylight opening, cut the paper so it comes up along the sides of the 1 X 4 skylight frame, sealing with roofing cem ent.

The skylight frame should be constructed in such a fashion that the skylight hangs over the edge of the frame slightly. After the unit is sealed, nail down the two ends of the skylight, first drilling holes for the nails with the small hand drill and the 1/8" b it. These holes permit the nails to pass through the fiberglass without splitting it. Then nail through, using nails with neoprene w ashers. (See drawing above.)

XV. THE OVERHANGING LOFT The overhanging loft is completed by nail­ ing 2 X 4s on the inside of the loft deck, the sheathing and the roof boards, flush with their outermost edges — all of which overhang by two feet. Nail through the 2 X 4 into the deck, sheathing or roofing boards. Now the windows for the loft can be installed, following the sy s­ tem used dow nstairs.

XVI. FINISHING THE INTERIOR Interior finishing is a matter of taste, furniture, lifestyle etc . We installed a woodburning stove for heat. We ran a stovepipe through the roof, taking special care to prevent

36

fire. If you install a stove, we suggest you read up on proper installation of stovepipe. We had the excellent advice of a neighbor whose house burned down because he did not install his stovepipe properly the first time.

We made a built-in ladder by notching 2 X 2s, 12" apart, into the two 2 X 4x (a) be­ tween the two lofts. We built a wall on the side of the small loft, leaving a three-foot opening just to the left of the ladder. The wall was constructed by first nailing a 2 X 4 in be­ tween the two pieces (b), but extending out 2" above (d) . This provides a nailing surface flush with the outside of (d) and (e) . The boards for the wall were nailed diagonally for an a t­ tractive design and for bracing (strength) . The wall served to give privacy in the small loft and to reflect light downward from the skylight.

XVII. MISCELLANEOUS 1) Cut the screening to fit the windows, and staple in place. To give a more finished appearance, nail battens to cover up the edge where you have stapled.

2) Place roofing felt on the entirety of walls (a) and (b), following directions on the package.

Both of these w alls are exposed to rainfall, e s ­ pecially wall (b) , which slants upward. After covering them with roofing felt, we covered all of wall (a) and (b) with cedar shingles. Follow directions on the package (or ask directions from the lumberyard where you buy them) . We suggest you run a board lengthwise along the bottom edge of the shingles, as you do a course horizontally. This board will give you a place to rest the bottom edge of each shingle and will keep you going in a straight line.

3) You may have noticed that the 4 X 10 foundation timbers extend out 18" from the end of the house. Cut three 2 X 6s and lay them side by side along this 18" extension, and, presto, a porch! Presumably, this is the end of the house where you have placed the door. (continued on next page) DOWNSTAIRS AT THE FERN COTTAGE

n the early 19th century, white refined flour was a l­ ready a long-standing sym­ bol of the American "good life."

Years before modern food chem­ istry proved that vitamins and minerals are removed w-hen wheat is milled into white flour, Sylvester Graham had arrived at the truth through observation and intuition.

Sylvester Graham was born in C onnecticut in 1794. After finishing college, he suffered a long spell of poor health. He married his nurse, Sarah Earl.

Soon thereafter, he became a Presbyterian mi­ nister, and in 1830 he became a temperance lecturer.

The tem perance movement of the 19th centu­ ry, little understood today, went to the fabric of American life. Inexpensive apple cider was the national drink — its consumption far out­ ranked even that of milk. Hard cider was con­ sumed in large quantities daily by young and old alik e. It was not uncommon for entire fa­ milies to be destroyed by alcoholism . Rum, cheaply made from m olasses imported from the slave-holding economies in the W est In­ dies, was as American as apple pie, too.

CAftIN (continued from previous page) XVIII. CONCLUSION In case something w e've written needs clarification, we welcome such inquiries from people who are actually planning to build from these plans. We want to reiterate that if you concentrate on what you are doing, and you don't let yourself be intim idated, you can build a cabin such as this one. Some neighbors (a married couple) who live only a mile away from us have already built a cabin based on the Fern Cottage (enlarging the scale somewhat, but sticking to these construction .techniques and basic design) . So, happy hammering! And yes, add a few Band-Aids to the m aterials list in case you hit your thumb.

Bob, Steve and Allen (M assachusetts)

As an aid to his temperance work, Graham studied human physiology and his lectures soon included his views on food and hygiene.

He developed a positive program of dietary im­ provement and personal hygiene. He called up­ on people to stop digging their graves with their teeth. In a nutshell, the diet he sug­ gested was this: No meat or fats, no fish, no sa lt, no su­ gar. Minimal amounts of milk, eggs, honey and ch eese. The em phasis was on whole grains, fruits, vegetables, beans and brown ric e .

Graham pressed for bathing, exercise, brushing the teeth, ventilation of sleeping cham bers, and moderation in eating.

By 1835-36, newspapers were filled with Grahamisms. Graham societies were formed everywhere. Graham hotels opened in many c itie s, as did the first health food stores, selling many of the same natural foods we buy today.

Graham came to public notice during a time of dynamic social and political change, a world filled with new ideas about liberty, women, peace, health, the milennium and the perfectability of humankind. A world-wide upheaval of thought and life-sty le was taking place. G ra­ ham showed that muscular strength was not dependent on a high protein diet. This was contrary to customary thinking; in fact, on the American frontier wild game was the staple -very little else was available except in urban centers. Graham opened the way to wide use of natural grains and he promoted the expanded use of fruits and v egetab les.

C aleb Jackson, a follower of Grahamism, created "granula,” which became granola, granose, grano and grape-nuts. The Post and Kellogs cereal companies emerged from Grahamist ideas to become the m ainstays of the modern breakfast food industry. The profit-making ori­ entation of these corporations, however, even­ tually moved them to range from Grahamist principles to manufacture the low-nutrition cereals they market today.

- - Steve (M assachusetts)

OLD SCHOOL HOUSE 603-827-3388 HARRISVII.LE, NEW HAMPSHIRE 03450 a crafts collective for gay men & women wants pottery apprentices (no experience necessary) and other crafts people COME AND BE WITH US - - NAMASTE

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note from a gay parent Din! RED friends: Enclosed is a short essay on me and my kids for the current Issue of R .F.D . It has been fun writing it. I'm trying to work out my thing of being attracted to other parents tor sup­ port and friendship and community, when on the Other hand I crave and need gay support and friendship and community. I'm different in both worlds and right now I'm in both, working it out. I'm interested in corresponding and meet­ ing and being with other gay parents and of hearing of all communal and non-communal gay child-rearing.

Love & vitam ins, Ian G. Moffatt RR #4 Perth, Ontario K7H 3C6 Canada 613-267-2682 I have 8 mm cinem atic memories of my early days, but I can't really ever remember a non-gay consciousness. Under the pines, by the back rail fence, in the yard of the neigh­ bours two doors up the road, I remember con­ sciously discovering male genitalia in the great St. Bernard dog house, and that was long before I was ten. In early teens with longtcirm lovers in Boy Scouts, I remember d iscu ss­ ing with two separate friends whether we would tell our wives - - when we got that one together - - about our getting it on. I thought I might, though later I experienced a case of cla ssic closetism .

I never really considered not having child­ ren until after my second son was born. Family, in the sense of having lots of kids, was a ro­ mantic dream held long before I found a mate.

Now, som etim es, 1 wonder if that child deci­ sion came from a place in me needing to ju sti­ fy hetero-sex.

For years in my partnership/relationship, I was unable, unwilling to talk about, to face what was happening sexually between us. Af­ ter six years and two children we emotionally examined our monogamy, which directly affect­ ed my coming out. Halleluyah! Janie now lives with another man in another house on the farm, and we are best friends and forever family with our children. Josiah and Julian live half­ time with each parent in a flexible daily ar­ rangement which seems pretty stoned for every­ one. We live in a community of about ten eco­ nomically independent households, with a com­ munity school. Except for Mark, my lover of the past three months, everyone else in the community is seemingly straight.

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Parenthood: it is pretty full-tim e! I real­ ly wanted kids, but it was only afterwards that I matured to realize the joy coupled with the re­ sponsibility and tenure of the relationship I blithely conceived. Kids relate to everyone differently as we all do, and they dig anyone putting positive juice into them, as do we a ll.

Parents often really seem to understand and a c ­ cept the reality of putting out that juice for years and years and years. My life seems drawn mostly - - for both me and the kids -- to other parents. I dig it; but I've found few gay parents to share these joyous feelings with -and with my time being so consumed with child­ ren, little time is left for times with gay friends not into the parent trip.

My first couple of years with kids were ones of great adjustm ent, of learning comfort­ able ways to relate in a daily growing way to children — like the progression from the hys­ terical new' parent syndrome over an infant's

DADDY IN BED WITH HIS LOVER first cold to com passionately supporting bloody kids on the way to be stitched up at medical centers; like moving from all the implications of the diaper trip to kids dressing them selves with their own selection of c lo th es.

One learns to be parents and works out the patterns one needs to direct a positive in­ ter-relating , My kids are aged 4 and 6, and I live with a 5 and 7-year-old as w ell. When Janie and I became non-monogamous, the children seemed taken aback when they found either of us sleep­ ing with other folks, a reaction, I think, to the break in their routine more than anything e lse .

I don't think that they w ere/are old enough to have any real realization of my switch from la ­ dies to men as bedpartners. They continue to be somewhat shy of my lover when they first climb into our bed in the morning, and though they habitually climb into bed with their gene­ tic old man, they respond likewise to th e juice my bedpartner chooses to put into them. Morn­ ing and evening bed times are special, quiet private moments of the day when we relate di-

rectly and closely — completely apart from the rest of our extended households - - cherished tim es, as are the few times a month when the kids, their mother and I have outings, nuclear outings, a family time that can 't be matched or shared with other lovers or friends, I don't think I'm at all into nuclear families — most I see are hassled relationships, but the joyous unity I feel when I'm with Janie and our two boys is so different than the beauty of living with our extended fam ily. Don't know if I'll ever have the chance to live with other gays and kids in community together.

When I first became a parent I followed a course of giving the child every need we thought he wanted — which meant we lived for a year or two with severely interrupted sleep. At that time I chose to lynore things going down — kids between kids and kids between other adults - - so that they could work them selves out. Now, I kind of feel differently. I really

believe that we each control how we are and that we each choose how we react to any given stim uli. We make those free-w ill choices from within the limits of our taught and instinctive im aginations. I believe that violent, negative, com petitive, sexist roles are taught. So, daily, I'm trying not to be lazy and let heavies go down, but instead, teaching the children around me that one can react positively and constructi­ vely to all stimuli through a non-violent d isci­ pline and thereby affect a more positive situ a­ tion and create a happy personal feeling and ac­ ceptance. In doing that I'm trying to be growingly aware of and confront my own sexism and competitivism ana arbitrary paternalism .

As I remember my dog house days, 1 see my kids awaken to their collective sexuality.

More than anything else I hope that my support, now and later, will aid them in accepting their sexuality for the joy that it is .

Have a great day!

Early Dump he w ell-bred country faggot should select a particular pe­ rio d of furniture with which to decorate his house. For our cottage, for example, we chose Early Dump. Not everything comes from the dump, however. Almost immedi­ ately upon arriving in this commu­ nity, we learned about the vari­ ous second-hand stores, the ec­ centric old man who owns an aban­ doned factory filled with junk he's collected over the years, and the contractor who gets wrecking jobs and enjoys recycling as much as he can (he has several barns filled with things for building and furnishing) . A few of our more affluent friends offered hand-m e-

down rugs and chairs, my mother threw in some old chairs and kitchen u tensils, and my sister sent me a brand new Danish modern rug (well, it didn't quite fit the decor, but it's colorful and warm on my bedroom floor) . But the dump has treasures deposited there for the taking.

An old box spring covered with my favorite Pe­ ruvian rug bought in Cuzco twelve years ago is now a living-room sofa. There's the green wicker chair that needed only a cushion, the strange slatted racks that take the place of the clothes clo set I don't have, a metal plant stand, and assorted cushions.

For ten dollars at the Springfield Salvation Army, I picked up four very large lined drapes, rather pretty beige ones with a nice country mill scene printed on them. Our kitchen table comes from Mr. Frye's barn for $3 — plus the paint stripper and the elbow grease that Bob put into making it more attractive. The other little table was a five-dollar special at Mr. Bachelder's barn. I picked up quite a few old-fashioned glass-lidded canning jars at D ixie's junk shop for 25£ each — no cheaper than new jars, but I like the way they look and they seem to work fine. Sometimes I find myself in a department store or a craft shop with the desire to purchase something very new and very beautiful, and if I ever get the money, perhaps I'll give in to the urge. Auctions are a nice place to get things, sometimes real bargains, but generally you need a little more money — Early Auction of­ fers you a slightly ritzier decor than Early Dump. For now, poverty reigns, and Early Dump is a fine style for country living.

Allen (M assachusetts) CA SA DEL RIO HANDMADE GUATEAAALAN ARTS & CRAFTS

9 Blanker* 9 Jewelry 9 Native Textile* 9 Balkan 9 Wooden Cretn 9 Antique*

OLD P O. BLD , M cG r e g o r , i a .

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at

Tkoreaus Grave [an. extensive traveler

cj

Concord ■

the faces on W ashington Street, y< ■ s tt‘rday set;ttvod

solidly familiar unsearchiny 2 54 movie house sex true dreams and intimate details galore this is how you do it folks and when you are done remember this: it is alw ays the silence they're giving me dirty hippie looks dirty looks while they take instamatlc pictures of your grave. which sp eak s.

Henry's quiet here today he in ground and air and i ? i watch the tourist come and go taking pictures of our love as u su al.

David (Maine)

ENDING A H IK E

at GLEN5 FALLS NH.

HAIKU crimson rose bursting petals with pale tips fell covered my dog's grave Chris (Vermont)

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I wanted you to come inside of me with the shafting force of these falls that cross, crest and tumble over these rocks in a hammered colonade of foamy white water Your coming was to fill me with semen from your far parts, semen that had stepped its way down from your farthest reaces coursing gradually from bouldered ledge to bouldered ledge to the final passionate channel of your gorging prick, to cascade cascade and fill the hollowed empty bowls of my insides to smooth the ridges and seepingly fill the crevices.

There must have been a language to my tongue as I worked to quicken this movement, a language you craftily knew. . . for as you came it was not with the gailoned force of these waters but with the quiet pervading ease of the early morning mountain fog.

David (Connecticut)

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& more

Dear R .F .D ., My friend Robert sent me your Autumn issue in a cart* package. It was like being at home sharing an evening withl loving friends. I've been living for the past six months in the rindhorn Community in Scotland -- one of two gays in a family of 170 or so. The change from San Francisco hippie faggot life-style to seeker on the path has not come easy, is not com plete, and I know I don't want it to be. This is a place of loving human beings and it has been easy for me to share my sexuality (if not sex) with them. I have gone without touching and loving another man’s body and found I could deal with the tension because there was love and support on other levels. And I masturba­ ted and have come to communion and under­ standing of my sexual fantasies. In a way I've learned more about who I am sexually than in my years in bars and baths sucking and fucking in C alifornia. But I miss my gay brothers and sisters and so I'm going to Amsterdam with good Dutch friends to explore the big city again, ta­ king with me the lessons I've learned and a center of strength in my being I've never known before.

I keep trying to find a way to say that I love you and it's time to know that my brothers are getting it together -- are together. If I were more settled I would subscribe. I'll send along whatever I can scrape together to keep us going anyway. Tucked in the back of my mind is that piece of land and a hand-made house and a garden and loving folks all around.

It's not in the here-and-now but if you keep holding the vision I'll get there.

Peace and love, Robin-John Mason Findhorn Foundation The Park Forres IV 36 OTZ, Scotland They'll forward mail for a w hile. I'd love to hear from you.

What are words anyway — sounds, inner voices forever talking or singing, trying to make word sense out of whatever this life is . . . . During the past six months I've start­ ed writing some and at the same time my inner walls have begun to co llapse. Some of your words have made me feel neat -- I hope some of mine will do the same for you. . . . .1 am really alone within myself. I see each of us as really alone. Yet I am seeing that we are all equal and that we share a consciousness. I want to share myself. . . .

I am becoming more at one with the totality of nature, including us. . . .1 am having a day of silence. My five year old son just came out sucking on a baby bottle he got from Santa.

He asks for some love. . . .A winter day, naked for awhile up on the hill m editating, alone. . . .

Since moving out, the past three years find me awakening spiritually to nature - - preferring now to be outside, day and nite. I am trying to live a simple life on the edge of a forest. . . .1 work indoors as a teacher. At work I feel myself giving more and more love.

IN THE ICY CREEK I IMMERSE MYSELF RUB MY WHOLE SELF SWEAT AND WATER I SPREAD THE SUN MAKES WARM LIQUIDY FILMS NATURE'S MASSAGE OIL ALL OVER ME I PULSE .. .The joy is more in the process than the attainm ent. Reading and becoming words I would like to turn you onto — all the Carlos C astaneda Don Juan books, Krishnamurti's

SKIP WITH HIS KIDS, IAN AND DYLAN Flight of the Eagle, The Only Dance There Is and Be Here Now by Baba Ram D ass, Space Time and Beyond by Bob Toben. I see such differences in myself as I open up to the words of these men. . . . I am beginning a study of Aikado with the book What Is Aikado? by Koichi Tohei. It seems so right on.* I wonder if any of my country brothers get turned on to the same stuff I do. . . .1 love you.

Skip Morris , 3160 Mt. Veeder Rd. Napa CA 94558

What a joy to come upon your RFD Summer 1975 Issu e. Unfortunately, since then, no one in Toronto seem s to have your next edition.

Please inform me if you are still in ex is­ tence. as I definitely would like to subscribe land perhaps contribute some m aterial later on).

1 hope you are still in production! I’m ma­ king my transition from city to country (to a property with an 'animal sanctuary' acreage) in June - - and it would be so nice to keep in touch with those of you (and your readers) who have done the same thing.

It would be a good feeling to hear that you are all w ell, and that your living Summer issue continues its life forces. I know that running a small magazine is a lot of energy and with, of­ ten, very surprising h a ssle s. M eanwhile, time alters our relationships, but the pages you work on go out into the world unchanged, like leaves from an autumn tree, set to decay and recycle and bloom.

A leaf narrowing to its stem: Age catches it unawares in the sound of dried grasses rattling in the wind And you ?

Has the world slipped by so easily?

Pause, then, to hold one another tighter. . .y e s . . . the leaf falls so that the tree may , Begin. . . . Each of you in the Summer issue seemed so very special, and I wanted to say so . Thank you. f a £ iy /± jr n J

//

My lover and I have 20 acres of very se­ cluded woods in M assachusetts. In the last two years we have built our house and put in a large organic garden. This year we plan to finish our house and build a timber-frame bain.

Our plans for the near future include orchards, goats, chickens, etc .

Our ages are 30 and 31; we have been to ­ gether for four years and have a strong, b asic­ ally monogamous relationship.

Now that we have most of the basic com­ forts, we feel open to the possibility of sha­ ring our lifestyle temporarily with people that would be interested in learning through first­ hand work experience what country life is real­ ly all about. We are striving to make our home­ stead self-sufficien t, which means we are on a regular work schedule. We are looking for someone who is willing to commit himself to working with us about four or five hours a day, five days a week. We can offer friendship, a small private sleeping cabin, lots of good food, and plenty of first-hand experience, as well as time for enjoying the nearby lake and woods and for being with friends and neighbors.

Steve (M assachusetts) c /o RFD Dear Butterworth Farm, Sounds funny to start a letter that way.

Anyhow, I am sending along a portion of a letter to a friend which describes my experience of community here in Maine.

Dear Don, Got your letter yesterday. I’d very neatly decided that I'd lost a friend in the process of letting some feelings out in my last letter.

This winter has had its heavens and its hells, and I'm beginning to realize in many ways how we create our own little "hell on earth" for our-

C / L tw ,

jC io / if a s t n r T t

0 )K

,1<L

U a tit*; O r i g i n *

THE U.S.A. AND CANADA CLASSIFIED DIRECTORY FOR GAY PEOPLE includes over 4000 organizations, bars, baths, churches, businesses and publications - - and much more. Current edition $S (outside North America $7 -- international money orders only, please) or send stamp and state over 2 1 for more details to RENAISSANCE HOUSE, Box 292, Dept. R, VILLAGE STATION, NEW YORK NY 10014.

43

the arts in general - - and it's such a major pro­ ject to get to any of these things from here — I'm so remote from LIFE here.

If I had a lover, someone I could share mv life with, it wouldn't be so hard. I can make do with few creature comforts if I have someone to share myself with. A friend said the other day: "Boothbay Harbor. It's a great place to be from!" and that about sums it up. W ell, by fall if I haven't found someone to share this life with, I think I'll head for Boston.

Enjoy!

Love, Phil (Maine) c /o RFD selves at tim es.

I believe I mentioned a few periods of de­ pression around Christm as - - what they were (in retrospect) were periods of Intense loneliw ness - - and repressed desire to have another warm body to touch: another warm male body to touch. Every now and then I toy with the idea that I might be bisexual — yet when I get right down to it, I Just do not find women erotic.

I can, and do, appreciate beauty in a woman, but thinking about them, or even certain women whom I know, doesn’t turn me on. Quite the opposite reaction about the men I know.

I've immersed myself in a straight, sm all­ town culture where my life line to sanity are the few accepting friends (mostly women) and the few gay men I’ve allowed myself to get to know. I’m not really sure what I was trying to prove to myself up here. I suspect there was no particular reason, I rather just ended up here because of the few friends I had, those who accepted my gay nature were up here.

I’ve depending heavily upon those few friends to provide moral support while I went through my own process of sorting out my life and it’s goals and directions — a laboriously slow process which my therapy-oriented friends can’t see the necessity of when I could have "someone" help me out with it (i.e . , the shrink) . These friends are all straight and I ’ve come to realize that as enlightened as they consider them selves, between the lines they're saying, "become yourself, but not more than I can handle." SHIT! I'm beginning to see the end of the tunnel of this self-im posed exile from "the w orld."

I'm getting increasingly dissatisfied with this lifestyle; it's too confining. I like the theater,

I would like to contact gay people into natural healing. I've been exploring herbs, nutrition, m assage, yoga, fasting, iris diagnosis, and primal therapy, and usually do not meet other gay people at the healing festivals and cla sses that have been happening up and down the W est C o ast. What about a gay healers' festival at the New World Fair next summer?

I'd love to visit country faggots into these things — I'm always looking for community and have never had the opportunity to live on the land for any extended period of tim e.

Please visit me if you come to Eugene.

Tony Appleseed 85 E. 19th St. Eugene OR 97405 342-4553

KAUAI, HAWAII, PAINTING BY STEVEN (M ass.)

POLICY ON LETTERS: In some cases we have published letters in full, but due to space considerations we have had to cut some letters. We tried to indicate the cuts by means of an ellip sis ( . . . ) . If you submit a letter to RFD and you absolutely do not wish to have it cut, please indicate th is, though it may mean that your letter will not be used at a ll, if it's too long. We have tried to print as many let ters as possible, and most of them have been printed without cu ts. Of course, briefer letters have a better chance of being published in full. Also, please indicate if you would like to have your fill name and address printed in RFD for readers to respond directly to you. If you prefer, mail can be sent to RFD for forwarding, but this is very tim e-consum ing, so unless you have a definite reason for not having your address published, we would prefer to be relieved of the task of forwarding mail.

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