RFD Issue 23 Spring 1980 by RFD Magazine Gay

COUNTRY

F R E R E ) JOURNAL-FOR. ^BR O T H ER S-

table of CONTENTS *2.

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GRAPHICS

Alladres............ P- 15, 46, 74, 77. David Bassett ...... p. 48. Ted Bohn.... ....... photo., p. 17. Dale Deardon ....... p. 14, 53, 55. ..................... P15 »19 , 26 ,34 ,38 , 39 , 44 , 45, 47, 51, 61, 63, 65.- 70, 72, 73, 79, 80, 84, Parabacchus ........ P» 27. Raintree ........... photo., p.- 32. Rita Ro s e .......... photo., p. 5, 18. Haven............... P- 30, 35, 37739, 49, 74, 75, 77. John Tomlinson ..... p. 8, 22.

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COLLECTED I want to thank RFD for providing a vehicle to express my creativity. A safe, noncompetitive "space" with brothers all around. As we worked I marveled at the sheer diversity of us, blending and bending seemingly without control. At times it seemed as though we were headed off in all direc tions as frustrations mounted. But somehow, drop by drop, it came together and filled the cup. Neil I want to reflect on our "progress in getting RFD to its readers. One member of our collective, Michael Lorrick, I feel deserves special appreciation. In our early collective conversations on how to do it we discussed making the issue more readable and Michael, an experienced typesetter, volun teered to typeset it at no cost at the shop where he worked, a common and accepted way he and his co-workers had of suppleranting their incomes. Michael was fired without reason shortly after he began working on the issue. The work he had done was hidden in the shop and had to be smuggled out by a co-worker after the heat died down. The work was on film, and the cannister it was stored in leaked and the film, when finally developed, proved unusable. The results are unhappy in two ways: Michael's efforts are not seen in these pages. The issue of a magazine that joins together many hearts and uany struggles has been delayed for many weeks. But here it is again-~Finally, Really Delivered, with pain and love, RFD. Frank I think one of the aspects of urban life is that concentration is difficult in loud, noisy places. Attention is diffused,, And the people willing to participate are usually people willing to partici pate in any number of "relevant" projects. Satisfying both the vary ing demands of our other interests and the responsibilities (in the form of deadlines, etc„) to RFDers everywhere was, to me, our biggest dilemma. Perhaps ultimately we didn't satisfy either as well as we would have liked, though I assure you it was not for lack of desire. I am proud of this issue. I think it offers something of quality for everyone. Much love and hard work went into its production. Enjoy„ ti

After relishing numerous issues of RFD from Wolf Creek, and now from many different places, I am happy to have a first hand experience in working on this issue. No other Atlantaarea gay* group has held my interest like this since GLF. I .•m glad the RFD alternative is alive and thriving. I hope the RFD idea can come increasingly alive as a true alternative for everyone it touches. ^ Shelby

STATEMENTS RFD has not only been a first major writing/journalism creative collective effort I was part of, but also a major force in my "coming out" process. I can still remeber my first meeting, back in January, sweaty palms and all, wondering what it was all about, talk of some gathering or something, wondering where I would fit in, feeling real insecure. I remember the first arm that reached out around my shoulder, and my first hugs. They were sorely needed when they came. The co-lective be came a large part of my support as I battled on the family and academic fronts. I found a great deal of strength here and in myself. Through the ups and downs of meetings and layout, and people putting their jobs in jeopardy to do RFD, I had to challenge myself with my re sponsibility to the collective, and my previously selfimposed limitations (i.e. well I don't know anything about layout etc.). It's been a personal conquering of some of my own stuff, and a release of some restrained creative energy. I am real grateful for the opportunity and for the network I stumbled across via RFD. I am sad about the delay in getting this issue off the ground, but the ins and outs of our own processes amidst the hectic urban energy was a difficult challenge. RFD has a big piece of my heart space right no (which includes both love and frustration) and this issue flows from me to y'all with a huge bear hug. Harvey Helping produce RFD #23 was my first experience in journalism-by-collective, and it held lotsa surprises— pleasant and otherwise. I reckon the main positive things I'm going to remember about the birthin' of this particular baby (besides the pleasure of getting to know some folks better by working with them) are having so much quality stuff to work with, and its being generated by such a far-flung network of contributors; the creativity— and fearlessness— shown by the collective members in laying out their respec tive chunks of material (especially within the confines of a last-minute format decision whose last-minuteness I, alas, feel guilty about having been responsible for) (mea culpa, mea culpa!); the good will, good humor, and good sense running through most of our business with each other; our printer Barry Weinstock's (and his assistant Dion Leman's) enthusiasm and flexibility about publishing the issue as quickly and as cheaply as possi ble; and Jody's and Terry's forebearance as we disrupted their household with a long string of layout sessions. Negative biggies: the sobering lesson (?) of Michael's being fired because his boss found out he was work ing on RFD, and some occasional frustration with our pace in getting the thing ready for the printer. All in all (as they say), i t ’s been exciting to finally join the growing ranks of the folks responsible f6r getting RFD out to the people who look forward to reading it. Keep those cards and letters.coming and watch for #2^4-! Happy Trails!

Gal

Letters &Corrections Gentlemen,

Enclosed, please find my check for nine dollars to cover the cost of a y e a r ’s subscription to R. P. D. This is the first class rate. I discovered your journal in a bookstore on Castro St. It pains me that I d i d n ’t discover it sooner because it certainly could have benefited me greatly when I was living in rural South Carolina where my heart will prob ably always be; at least somewhat. It thrilled my soul to read letters from readers expressing their ideas and opinions on various subjects. The major thing though, is the communication by gays to gays in a friendly, down-to-earth manner without all the tinsel and hoopla generally encountered in the gay subculture. Thank you again, for being out there. I look forward anxiously to future issues of R. F. D. Thank you, Gene Coleman F rlends: In the Winter, 1979 issue, number 22, the drawing on rJage 42 is listed as unattributed. This drawing is by Sidney Smith and is from his book of Irawings, A Handful of Angels, which was published by Sidney's Dragon fly Press, June 1^78. I write because I believe that this work as will as other works by Sidney need the recognition that they deserve. This booklet, as well as others of his, beautifuly portray the young male. T ’ough I a» not sure that the address is presently correct, Dragonfly Press was located at 1502 President Street, Brooklyn, New York 11213. Best Wishes.

Michael J. Lavery 106 Perry Street New York. N. Y., 10014

P.S. I ju6t thought to add that this letter is written not on any one's reguest but only so that an artist that I greatly appreciate can receive the credit that he so much deserves.

RFD: Have not quite waded through the last issue of RFD, but but I want to say how verymmuch I enjoyed the previous issue. I felt that "Our Hired Man" was delightful and had to bring a flood of memories to those readers who are older. Also I particularly enjoyed the issue a while back slanted toward the theme of older gay people. The cover on poor Bellow Falls was of interest to me as I am familiar with the entire situation there. I have not gone down for some years but I am confident that if these two young men who have bought it keep their cool and mind their own business that they can have that town eating out of their hands (...or pants). But it was way too much for John, the previous owner, to go up and down the main street in flashy drag. That could turn off even those who were trying to see both sides of the coin. Very sincerely yours, Gordon Heard Lyme, New Hampshire

CORRECTION Croma Waters wrote the poem "Going Away" that appeared in the Winter issue of RFD, hut Croma's name was inadvertently omitted. Croma also wrote "Old Horrors with New Faces Knocking at My Door" in the same issue.

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<Z>U)E£T by S a d a n a n d a

I liken ay childhood and adolescence to an old "Peanuts" cartoon strip, in wnich poor old Charlie Brown is laden with layer upon layer of shirts, pant3, sweaters, coats, boots, gloves, scarf and nat, so that when he is finally prepared to face the cold, bitter winter weather he is unable to move. In a similar manner, as a child I dressed myself with beliefs, superstitions and mores of those around me whom I loved. All of these garments of coursa, were meant to prepare me for the cold hard facts of life. But just like Charlie Brown, I found myself extremely limited in motion; in my ability to function fully in that cold hard world. Somewhere along the way to here, I began to feel very uncomfortable. Maybe, just maybe, I was slightly overdressed. After all, It couldn't be THAI cold. I had heard of people that nad suffered from severe frostbite with no permanent scars. I then began to question- everything. Perhaps it was because when I took off vie sweater, just to allow for some freedom of movement, I found that It was not quite as cold as I had been led to believe. Why did everyone think it was so terribly frigid and bitter? Who said people had to walk around wearing all of that garb(age), anyway?

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Until I read

Thf

Disposses s , by Ursula Leguin, I had no Idea th-rc

I was a

Shevek*, dog-paddling for freedom in a sea of authoritarianism. Upon discovering what anarchism is really aoout- a confident and trustful relationship with one's self and the resulting social responsibility- I was truly outraged to discover how anarchism has been incessantly pummelad by a long history of archist culture and power. It is a history that is probably as long as that of homo sapiens, or any other species of animata life on this planet.

As living beings, we humans have always had a kaon intaraot in determining what-the-hell-is-going-on-around-here. What is this reality thing? Due to one consistent observation of our experience- that of everything being In a constant 3tate of changeannihilation.

All of

have

experienced one

consistent

emotion t

us, either historically, genetically

feer

or directly have

experienced some form of sudden, drastic and disturbing change in what we depend on being a stable, secure world. The "Great Flood", Atlantis, Krakatoa, Hiroshima and this morning's newspaper headlines are all examples of terrorific reminders of the basic nature of this perceivable universal constant flux. It becomes very difficult to experience the sheer power that reality itself represents when one is being crushed by an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness, whether that sense of impotence is caused by the earth beneath one's feet suddenly shifting ninety degrees or oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lover walking out the door, forever. For innumerable reasons humankind,with scarcely few exceptions,has adopted a basic belief system constructed from an archist viewpoint. That viewpoint is one of something a hell of a lot bigger than we are being in control; that control being something beyond our grasp.

Âť The central character of Leguin's book: a utopian anarchist.

This basic belief has become so engrained in our minds that even an aspiring

♦

anarchist may spend a lifetime trying to overcome it.

This sense of inferiority,

of extreme minisculeness, should not be viewed as an agent of some ultimately evil entity branded into our psyche to

keep us under

some cruel cozmic thumb.

The archist belief system no doubt bears a lot of responsibility for the preserva tion of our species thus far. The various institutions, cultural mores and customs have helped to give mankind something firm to hold onto. Indeed, one of the sources of the strength or weight of modernday Christianity is in its very age. The span of time of Christian influence is even used to validate its precepts. After all, if it has survived nearly 2000 years of human history it must be God's true wish for all of humanity, right? The archist order is most certainly a key ingredient in the reality the human race has experienced to date. All of our deepest fears, hopes, dreams and anxieties have been brought to life.

The

point to

be remembered here is that change is the ruler of all experience. It is my beliei that our noble species is entering into a molting, or shedding process; a process of outgrowing the fearful view of reality

and coming to an jnderstanding of our

loving and creative abilities in this most awesome play of power we surround our selves with. Throughout human development, again, we have sought to surround ourselves with some form of order, attempting to accrue some amount of assurance that wnat we leave behind each night during sleep will still be around when the next dsy comes. The old classic bedtime prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep..." is a good example of our impeccable doubt in tomorrow morning's arrival altogether. Naturally,whatever forms humankind’s social structures take,they tend to mimic whatever order we may have observed. Thus, there has always been a controller, and a lot of little of controlees. It may have started with sun worship. After all, it has always been the biggest and hottest thing around. In the days of pre-civilisation, with our noble ancestors huddled together in caves staring out into mortal darkness, it oust have been quite a relief to see the fucker come up each and every morning. Likewise, we tend to give positons of authority to those who are more powerful than our selves, or just as readily to anyone who may "illumine* our way of life. But aa

Anyone doubting they have this belief may try this experiment: Simply decide that the next time you exhale, you will not inhaie-ever again. Only fear of what will happen next will prevent you from succeeding. If you really believe you have con trol over your reality you need not fear what follows, because what follows will be solely up to you!

our lives are further illumined there is an expansive nature to our social con structions. Our earliest civilized ancestors worked and lived within village or tribal units. The leaders were most probably either the ones able to beat the hell out of anyone who may have confronted them, or simply the ones who first figured out all of those wild mystical things; like when the sun and moon would rise and set or how to start a fire. Very slowly our ancestors learned to deal more cooperatively with their neighbors, the feudal system remained as society's favorite pecking order until just a few short hundred years ago. When people became weary of taking shit from 3oa» little fart up on the hill, they took to taking it from some bigger fart on a throne, and, alas, monarchy and nationalism were in vogue. It appears though, that over all these years more and more people have grown tired of giving bigger and bigger farts responsibility for their lives. Relatively recently someone came up with a brilliant plan to give (nearly) everyone a part in their destinies, and called it "democracy". It was such a grand and noble effort, and almost EVERYONE fell for it. Funny, though, how folks could still be wound ud like toy soldiers and sent off to wars (all moral wars, of course) against their wills. For a while it seemed understood that if one received a letter that started with "Greetings..." one immediately went out and obtained a khaki wardrobe. My lifetime (although a mere 26 years) has provided me with an almost non-stop observance of world-wide resistance to authority. Remember the sixties? They were only a premonition. People all o^er the world are rebelling against their established authorities, only to replace them with other versions of the same. Capitalist democracy, socialism, communism, monarchy and military dictatorships are all rapidly fading facades for the same tired old face of authoritarianism. It's like dealing with the stereotyped Jewish tailor, who says "So, you don't like the royal purple monarchist style? Well let's try on this new military look. It’s ver/ popular in South America this time of year. And just for you, such a deal!"

While all the customer may be looking for is

a chance to run around naked for a change.

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P a r a b le "Here is a parable to illustrate the degrees in which our nature may be enlightened or unenlightened. Imagine the condition of men living in a sort of cavernous chamber underground, with an entrance open to the light and a long passage all down the cave. Here they have been from childhood, chained by the leg and also by the neck, so that they cannot move and can see only what is in front of them, because the chains will not let them t u m their heads. At some distance higher up is the light of a fire burning behind them} and between the prisoners and the fire is a track with a parapet built along it, like the screen at a puppet shew, which hides the performers while they show their puppets over the top. "Now, behind thi3 parapet, imagine persons carrying along various artificial objects, including figures of men and animals in wood or stone or other materials, which project over the parapet.... "In the first place, prisoners so confined would have seen nothing of themselves or of one another, except the shadows thrown by the fire- â&#x20AC;˘ light on the wall of the cave facing them.... Then such prisoners would recognize as reality nothing but the shadows of

those

artificial objects....

"Now consider what would happen if their raleaee from the chain and the healing of their unwisdom should come about in this way. Suppose one of them was set free,and forced suddenly to stand u p , t u m his head,and walk with eyes lifted to the light; all these movements would be panful, and p. vfc

Kif'. 76.

A cq u isitio n s of te rrito ry , 1783 to 1853

The archists in our world will come to regret the discover/ of electricity. It has already proven itself to be the spark of universalisra through the advent of global coa*unicationa. Now nearly all of us know who we are, what we are and where we are. Those first photos from earth taken from space were a shock, to observe that those thick black borderlines on our maps do not in fact exist. Could it be that maps are only guides to the .mentality of the mapmakers? The archist viewpoint is so well engrained in our present day culture that many people are instantly repelled just by the mention of the word, anarchy. We have been carefully taught to equivocate anarchy with social pandemonium. That is projection. Pandemonium exists onlv in the minds of fear-stricken individuals. Anarchy is a state of supreme confidence in one's ability to control and direct the flow of one's reality. External manifestations of authority then become obsolete. All forms of social and political authority are simply external pro jections of our internal authority. If we mistrust ourselves, then we will in variably manifest external forts*, of authority that are distrustful. The current situation in Iran has been repeatedly labeled by our archist-oriented media as anarchy. There is actually a lot of typically irresponsible authority involved. What really irks .American statesmen and diplomats is that no one in Iran seems to recognize the authority of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. (Now I understand why my parents reacted so emotionally when I stopped recognizing their authority.) Transactional Analysis should apply to nations as well as people. The entire educational process of our culture enhances our need to be de pendent. Kle are form-fitted from all sides by our parents, their religions, mass education(be it public or parochial), the media, etc. The reinstitution of the draft would be as a backwards somersault into the sixties. One dream* throughout <

childhood and adolescence of that golden era of adulthood when one is finally granted the freedoms.privileges and responsibilities of a matured citizen. That day is Just beyond the horizon when a letter arrives, and that freedom is whisked away by conscription. That is a subersive act. Undermining the personal integrity of the individual is apparently a valuable technique in the archist system's attempt to sustain itself. It is important to bear in mind herfi that the "arohist system" is not some entity independent of human endeavor, but a collective expression of a frightened populace. It is in the truest sense a defense mechanism. Authority initially asserts itself through the parents.Parents most dependent upon authority themselves are the ones most obsessed with teaching "little Johnny" the difference between right and wrong. In fact, the solidity of parental reality may depend entirely on the child’s recognition of parental authority. (With or without children, one partner will tend to dominate the other- a pecking order for two.) Eventually education and religion will make their marks upon the impres sionable child. Education is a process of preparing young people to live in the adult society. Ideally these adult trainees will be responsible and "moral". The classroom, however, will always be a micro-reflection of the macro-environment. As sung in "The Happiest Days of Our Lives" from Pink Floyd’s current album "the Wall": "When we grew up and went to school there were certain teachers who would hurt the children anyway they could* by pouring their derision upon anything we did and exposing every weakness however carefully hidden by the kids." Far too many of us can relate to that. If I am not mistaken, it was Jerry fubin who once said "Those who fear have nothing to teach us." Except fear, that is. Speaking of fear, how about religion? I was raised in a devolrt Catholic family. One of the fundamental principles drilled into Catholic youth through the catechism program was that one should have "fear of the Lord". How utterly absurd, that one should fear someone who supposedly loves in the most ultimate sense of the word. The terminology employed by religions is symptomatic in itself. Words like "Lord" and "master", and many similar titles used to descibe the relationship between the individual and the "Supreme 9eing", imoly a con dition of servitude. Note also that moat forma of religion throughout earth’s history hava relied on a prieat-claas to maintain their power. The message, repeatedly and redundantly, has been "There ain't no way to the father 'cept through US!" ♦ These implications of servitude run deeper still. The cosmic hierarchy that religions portray create an impression of a rather cold and impersonal God. /3

Why. else would someone he so difficult to reach? God uses bureaucracy and red tape to maintain a proper distance between "HIMself" and "HISâ&#x20AC;? subjects. This is yet another projection, of the distance wÂŤ humans perceive (or create!) between our conscious minds 3nd our Selves. Archism is so effectively programmed into us from birth that it may taint our perception of reality. We are constantly receiving subliminal impressions by our tainted perception, further reinforcing our beliefs. As an aspiring anarchist, one may feel frustrated in dealing with a culture so obsessed with authority to the extent that one might "demand" instant changes. The desire to replace our present patriarchal system with a matriarchal version may also be misleading. A matriarchy is just as archist, in that it also involves a ruler and those to-beruled. If one is to have complete fait.i in one's own authority, why not extend that faith to oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s externally manifested reality? Human society is a collective outward projection of our species' deepest beliefs about reality. If we find our society bound and gagged by rules, laws, regulations, cultural mores, classroom monitors, police and soldiers, it is only because we are coliectively terrified and insecure. As long as we deny the masterfulness of our own nature we will continue our insistence upon social, political and economic authority to provide us with enough order to warrant the continuation of day-to-day existence. As it is said,

'.o thine own Self be true".

/ ^

earlier I mentioned that as a species we may be undergoing some rather promising changes. It is an evolutionary progression. All beings ira limited by the pysical bodies they inhabit. They are after ail, just containers, and all containers have limits. Plants' and animals' bodies provide unique experiences for their inhabitants. In a cat's body, there is only the experience of sheer "catness"; in a roachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vehicle, only "roachness". The human experience is to taxe an active part in the formation, understanding and dissolution of our external reality, utilizing the unlimited capabilities of our creative imagination This is "human-ness". As our collective experience increases our perspective, more and more people will begin to assume responsible roles in the social process, ibis is not meant to imply that millions of people will ce seeking some sort of political office, but that more of us will ce conscious

>f how directly our

tho'ug.nts, beliefs and desires shape the .vorld we live in. Presently, toe many ire willing and eager to blame their president1; representatives or corporats moguls for creeping social malaise. The present, just like the past and future, is Just what we make of it- no more, no less. In order to create change we must assume responsibility for what we have already created. The creative power will follow naturally. To doubt the power inherent in our nature is to invalidate it; to accept,

affirm and utilize that power is to nuture it.

A: It ’s cold.

The wind is blowing.

D: Is it going to snow again? A: Uhm?

Maybe it will rain.

B: I think I heard the train’s whistle in the darkness, must be about a quarter past five. H o w ’s the sky? A:

Overcast, dawnless, gloomy, no light yet, like a lot of rain.

What did the weatherman say?

I forget.

B: I t ’s too early for spring. A: But I heard a robin singing in the leafless lilac tree.

This forest, once reduced to stumps and mud rejoices now as nature cover's mans handiwork, glories in immense trees seining sunlight. I come here to escape the denial of your love, desire's landscapes, passion's savage presence. I seek nature's wild extravagance, a confusion of weeds, whisper of wind in trees. Your words burn in my heart, - my mind,... I cannot be free. Hiking all day through woods, heels blistered, finally I pause to ford the icy stream, barefooted. Dana Morey

Ted Bohn, Stony Brook, N. Y.

my f a v o r i t e i n a n i m a t e o b j e c t is y o u yet the d i f f e r e n c e s are light y e a r s c o m e a nd g one w a i t i n g for the w i n d o w s Joes y o u r hai r talk but

I s aid

to tap

how w o u l d

you k n o w

0 the s o c i a l i s t s d o w n the s t r e e f i s h o u l d m a k e their l unch they take the c a r e s of w o r k e r s w h o d o n ' t appreciate it and talk and c a r r y p l a c a r d s and try to r e - e d u c a t e , think, i s h o u l d t h r o w up m y lunch, go to fl i c k s and t h i n k of b e i n g y o g u r t s k i n n y bourgeois mentality coch p i c k i n g up f a n t a s i e s no c o m m i t m e n t just

p u d d i n g s l i d i n g life, w i t h b a r b e c u e i d e a l s as l o f t y as w h a t e v e r b ut c r a p for real i t y .

potato chips

pallo and pablo and pablo

neruda, how come u have such a nice name, my name's steve? neruda, why am i sweating in orlando, bored, you're diggin cool breezes in the andes? neruda, how come you're wearing weaved blue and green blankets, riding llamas, and talking to incas, and i'm hitchiking to McDonalds, Huh?

steve rogers

W ritten

Blood

beauty killers mark out targets with lipstick sexism streaking blood running in sissy gutters faggots pushed to the wall scream mother with a gun lesbian protects separated from daily trips of acid instincts holding together wicca courted into brief legal case lost razor blade slits bleed tomato red wrists were made for suicide jumps as it is written in black and blue across the body from nightly punches hold your mouth as you suck hot life t from throat jugular throbs who says vampirism is dead, angel werewolves howl nightly in the dark. Bill Mat this

With Finesse, Please The revolution is in the tearooms where we ail sit comfortably hour after hour nibbling our favorite napoleon or chocolate brownie maybe a longjohn or two Chatting with friends sometimes when things are not busy Daintily we sulp our luncheons. Don't forget your napkin to keep your chin clean And remember to say 'Thank you" The revolution is in the tearooms where it always has been. Crazy Owl

GATHERING

Nearing

Wrestling with your tired winter fears Is harder each passing day; â&#x20AC;˘The holding and burning The engulfing, and then The holding back; Untimely refrain, Your thoughts of dissolving Familiar retreat; It's cold out there on the doorstep in the rain I Lonely spirit in constant repetition you are not standing still Only, can't see your own subtle rippling power But it melts me, totalll But it melts me, totally me t rom the silent pulsating places Stripping away the hardness, healing old wounds. What do you say to an open door What do you say to a friend in your soul Do you run so fast and never look back Or fall to your knees And rejoice your penetrated silence? IIa r v e v

F I R S T TIME THOUGHTS

FROM THE ATLANTA GATHERING

It's my first time You noticed Another new face Awkward groping interaction You wlecomed I responded Yet hesitated You persisted I tried But felt the burdens brought Physical pain Emotional pain Oh God, the first time is hard! You waited And welcomed Always there I warmed Recognizing the boundaries of my relatingness You gave me time alone. I relaxed I sang with you "Listen, listen, listen..." You listened We sang "I will never forget you..." How true! Gerry

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Rabbits cowered Vultures drooled Cats ruffed their fur duobed against one another ^urring loudly S e e i n g their competition Sir Is ol Paradise preened their feathers The wolves spontaneously tensed theit muscles Whining, Softly At the first scent Of

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The noose alone in the corner Followed the action from side to side And around the perimeter of the room Vaguely unseen The sleek rats.

Hesitatingly He crossed the room Instinctively A hundred animal bodies stepped back Out of striking range Then he passed closely and his eyes Were not dominant victor's eyes But frightened animal eyes Searching the room For c ha me1ions Steve Thornberg

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE "SOUTHEASTERN NETWORK

Dear People: After participating in our network's most recent informal gathering (the one in Atlanta the second weekend in February), I finally got around to writing down some of the thoughts I've had about our network and our gatherings over the past year or so. Hope you find some of them useful. Why do we have gatherings? What do we expect from them? It's obvious that people participate for different reasons, but most of us come away from a gathering feeling nurtured in some way. We feel "recharged" by fellowship with other gay men in a low-keyed, comfortable, inexpensive, and safe setting. Fellowship with gay men who are searching for different paths than the ones taken by most people in this society, including most other gay men. At first I thought the goal of our gatherings was to forge a network of like-minded individuals, but I've decided that what we're doing may be more interesting than that. I say this because I find myself feeling fondly toward people at these gatherings whose politics— or whose vision of a new "gay culture"— are quite different than my own. For example, some of the comments made in some of our "sharing circles" have struck me as wrongheaded, and I have been tempted to say so at the time. But I've decided to stop regarding our circles as potential crucibles for generating some sort of "alternative gay consensus" on particular issues. Instead, I remind myself that these circles can, if we let them, function as safe places and times for our sharing with one another our diverse thoughts and feelings— sharing them, not defending, promoting, or examining them. When somebody says something I either don't understand or don't agree with, I try to focus -of my positive feelings for that person and their willingness to share with the rest of us the way he sees things and the things he hopes for. Later, if I decide to pursue my confusion or my disagreement with this person, I do this outside the circle itself, or in a different kind of circle, one called together for the purpose of discussing a certain issue. In other words, I've changed the way I deal with the statements made in the sharing circles; for me, these comments are less assertions of fact and more "personal testimony" or simply "probes"— not necessarily something that needs responding to intellectually and immediately. This approach helps me focus more on the personal side of what goes on at the gather ings and less on the ideology of particular individuals, including my own.

AN OPEN LET T ER TO THE SOUTHEASTERN NETWORK

Continued

Gan we do anything to make new people feel more comfortable at our gatherings? For various reasons, most of them good ones, not much energy seems to have gone into dealing with this question. While I agree that we shouldn t become obsessed with it, the issue probably deserves some attention. For example, it occurred to me that each of us mentioning in our opening circle how many previous gatherings he has been to may not be the best way to put new folks at ease. These kinds of comments are piobably meant as expressions of enthusiasm about the gatherings— a sort of MThese-things-are-so-wonderful-I-keep-coming-back-again-and-again-andyou-will-too-once-this-weekend-is-over-with! But this approach may be coming across to new people as just another set of in group/out group signals. It may be worth remembering that we "Veterans of Previous Gatherings" already know who has been where. Wouldn't it make more sense— and foster including rather than excluding new folks— if we found some other way to check into our opening circles? Maybe we could mention how we tound out about the gathering, or say what we hope to get out of this particular one, or describe something that’s recently happened to us that we’re either excited, worried, or upset about— something that will let other people at the gathering know a little bit about how we are feeling or what we need. Along these same lines, newcomers might benefit from a brief warning/ invitation to expect a lot of unstructured time during the weekend; be given a rundown on how to go about voicing needs that need meeting or issues that someone wants dealt with while we’re together; and how and when housekeeping matters will be taken up. Most important, perhaps, would be an emphatic assurance, early on, that no one will ostracize— or even expect an accounting from— anyone who chooses, lor any reason at all, not to participate in some of the goingson during the gathering, whatever those turn out to be. Other^things might also be mentioned— how, for example, a person who doesn't eat vegetarian food can arrange to get something else to eat. Or the fact that smokers should remember to be considerate of nonsmokers (and vice versa). Communicating these kinds of groundrules doesn't have to be considered an oppressive experience. And for a new person who's maybe overcome all sorts ol inhibitions just to get himself to try out one of these gather ings, this kind of minimal orientation could be very helpful in putting him more at ease in an unfamiliar and possibly quite threatening situation.

AN OPEN LET T ER

Is our or not a sort or not of our ate or

Con ' t

network headed in any particular direction? I've wondered whether it's realistic to expect our gatherings to continue providing us of "mountaintop experience" for us. I've also wondered whether our reluctance to articulate the extent, purpose, and direction network and of our gatherings has been deliberate— and, deliber not, whether that's been a good thing.

The rather unfocused, undefined, decentralized quality of the network and the gatherings has been one of its chief appeals for me personally, but I sense that some of us see the "organizing" of the network as either inevitable or desirable (or both)„ I wonder: Do we stand to gain or to lose by "organizing" ourselves? At the moment, what we seem to have is a mixture of expectations. Some of us see our gatherings as essentially— and very essential— "retreats" from our individual struggles: times for rekindling our individual resolves to continue our individual efforts to find our own individual paths instead of letting the dominant straight culture, or the dominant gay subculture, dictate our behavior and aspirations. And some of us see the network and its gatherings as a means for political activism, for collective responses to the specific oppressions we face. It's unclear (to me at least) whether we have avoided clarifying our expectations of the network and of its gatherings because we've sensed that agreement on those expectations is either unnecessary, undesirable, or merely highly unlikely„ Have we kept tilings unfocused because we like things that way, or is it just a matter of time before we start focusing things a bit more? It wifi be interesting to see whether or not we begin moving in a particular direction, and especially how we will handle any resistance among ourselves to that movement. For some of us, "searching for a focus" may be asking for trouble within the network— imposing constraints we've so far been free of. For others, searching for some focus will guarantee us a higher level of effectiveness. Will our good feelings for each other survive the diversity that may emerge if we were to begin articulating what it is we really want, and how we want to get it? Gan we empower ourselves and usher in a new gay culture without attempting a consensus? Happy Trails! Cal Gough

ATLANTA

The Fairies Gathered In the m i d d l e of the N i g h t W h e n all w e r e a 1 s e e p . .. And 1 w a s d r e a m i n g of you l e y f o r m e d t h e i r rincrs And saua t h e i r s onas The U n i v e r s e sparkled filled overflowing, In f a i r y m a g i c , f a i r y love... And I d r e a m e d we w e r e t o g e t h e r

again

A d r e a m of s u p r e m e i n f a t u a t i o n A d r e a m of i d e a l i z e d p u r e p e r f e c t i o n A d r e a m of lignt i n c a r n a t e I e m b r a c e the light I k i s s the light The

light

envelopes

n.e in its b l i s s

We unite We fly We bud and blossom We bear fruit And our seeds are stars Conceived on that one day each season When we awaken from our slumbers, Emerge-, from our cacoons , And, sprouting our wings, In the super-charged frenzied activity of loving and mating joy, We soar into the heart of the sun And consciousness knows all

â&#x2DC;&#x2026; My love for you is eternal In you I see a most beautiful Loving myself as I am Connected to the source My love for you is Infinite

I masturbate In the middle of the night Thinking of your And the ecstatsy in the love the love in the ecstasy We will share As we merge into the One Of all there is

Parabacchus

TRIBE

(Amidst a simple ritual, I saw a hundred woodcarved African drums beating a pulsating rhythm to which we danced so hard in fields of mud with our faces painted the rainbow's song and feathers streaming from everywhere.) Brothers, Gentle guardians of the earth And secrets of many worlds, I have danced with you for a moment, And felt your powerful cry; Wore your long embrace like a silken robe, Sharing and fusing our different body rhythms. Joining the holiest of battles To expand the tribe And make circles around the earth; To find and nurture each other's free spirit And its myriad of expressions; To remember the earth mother, and her distress; To cherish our loved sisters in struggle and Work toward a more complete unit. With invisible structures and unwritten laws That are inscribed within forever By dancing with the spirits. The tribe Is our limitless potential and infinite possibilities,

O I I . CIRCLE

(in a late-night circle I felt us lift off the ground in a fast spiraling, motion, dance upside down on the ceiling and then float down to the ground in slow motion and turn to bubbles that burst when they met the ground.)

THE GATHERING

(p o e m )

From wide and scattered Passion and play From silence and deep thought Clarity and confusion The circle emerges To electrify And once again to initiate Recognition, and affirmation. We surrender to the love-charged air With profound devotion to one another And to our shared vision; Timeless commitment We do stand, connected; Together, as one force Understanding no bounds.

ÂĽ

I I I . GATHERING (Amidst the gathering of flowers I dreamed we all rode on lavender unicorns to leap off the high peaks and cuddle in the velvety clouds.) A gathering, A coming to gether Refueling A renaissance A remembering of Your essence You let me inside And I let me feel you, so easily So sweet and tender like never before And I enter a new realm, all opened and ready To assimilate I become sick - to release, and give up To weed out And make room for the new season of life, An ongoing harvest. As I lie here motionless To subdue the physical pain of release I am gathered with you. I can still see each of your faces before me And the gleam behind the faces That I get so off on playing with . , , We are never ungathered, Though sometimes, We are alone. HARVEY SCHWARTZ

Song for a "Tan I go on sitting at the table, Watching you gather your books and go. I saw you re-enter the night, The chill of coming winter. I saw you forgetting all about me. I watched you go, and will you ever know How much I wanted to move with you tonight? Put I won’t say a word, and since you haven’t heard, You go on Looking for sweet dreams and Light. I studied your eyes, your nose, your chin And looked away when you looked back, Your beautiful eyes* They talked to me like sin! But your hands w o n ’t hold a man and I ’ll never know If y o u ’re warm in your sleep Or if you wake up slowly. Disappearing under street lights, Your particular walk. A body almost familiar But held apart. You a r e a man, and I am a man, And we can’t change our parts. I just wanted To touch your heart. Michael Mason

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C E L E B R A T I O N : To a c k n o w l e d g e and to c e l e b r a t e our i n s t i n c t u a l r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h each other and w i t h nature. SPIRIT: E x p l o r i n g and s h a r i n g our r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h the sp i r i t t h r o u g h w h a t e v e r v e h i c l e s we h ave c h o s e n - m e d i t a t i o n , m u sic, dance, h e a l i n g , c h a n n e l i n g , s e n s u a l i t y , s e x u a l i t y , our work, or h o w we m o v e in the world. SHARING: o f f e r i n g w hat we have l e a r n e d a bout o u r selves s ince we last came t o g e t h e r - our Joys, our pain, n e w skills, and u n f o l d i n g i n s i g h t s about who we a r e . H E ALING: We n o w k n o w that t h e r e r e a l l y is a h e a l ing p l a c e in our hea r t s . S h a r i n g what we have l e a r n e d about the m a n y forms of F a i r y H e aling. POLITICS: F o c u s s i n g on the quest i o n ,"What are we for?" E x p l o r i n g new p a r a d i g m s of what c o n s t i t u t e s p o l i t i c s for us. F a i r y T r a n s f o r m a t i o n a l P o l i t i c s b r o a d e r t h a n r e f o r m - d e e p e r than r e v o l u t i o n R E - i n v e n t i n g o u r s e l v e s as a people. S A N C T U A R I E S : D e v e l o p i n g a Fa i r y N e t w o r k t h r o u g h out the land. E x t a b l i s h i n g in the c o u n t r y a p e r m a n e n t S a n c t u a r y , t h r o u g h C o m m u n i t y Land Trust, for all of u s . A S P I R I T U A L G A T H E R I N G FOR R A D I C A L F A I R I E S to be h e l d A u g u s t 11th t h r u 15th 1980 in the C o l o r a d o m o u n t a i n s in the C o l o r a d o M o u n t a i n s $90 r e g i s t r a t i o n i n c l u d e s v e g e t a r i a n m e a l s and and c a m p s i t e fee. Pre r e g i s t r a t i o n is n e c e s s a r y . A $^5 d e p o s i t is requested with your pre-registration. More d e t a i l ed i n f o r m a t i o n about the c o n f e r e n c e s c h e d u l e and l o g i s t i c s w i l l be p r o v i d e d to you u p o n p r e - r e g i s tration. M a k e c hecks p a y a b l e to S P I R I T U A L G A T H E R I N G FOR R A D I C A L F A I R I E S OR S G F R F . No one will be d e n i e d p a r t i c i p a t i o n b e c a u s e of i n a b l i i t y to pay S P I R I T U A L G A T H E R I N G FOR R A D I C A L F A I R I E S P.0. Box 18 5 8 3 Den v e r , C o l o r a d o 80218

« '

The fifth annual ?orating Workshop will ha hald on 'ay 3 and 4, It will be held in “he vicinity of Dovelltovn, Tenn. for the p u n o n of informing la about edible v i ’d nlanta »nd -.edlcinal herbs. Parti cipants should bring camping gear and food, Children are welcome, The cost is ‘Id.30 per adult, 52.00 per child, Fees are negotiable in terms of barter and/or energy exchange, ‘/rite to: Milo Guthrie St. 5 3ox 10A Murfreesboro, Tn. 37130

£ < 8 -3 0 A gathering of rural gay man In the .tor .h ~aat, At the full moon. Ideas for workshop* etc, are welcome. For more information: Blue Heron Farm Route 2 Box 58B Dekalb, New York 13630

JULY f

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--L&raurG.h -aimattr -..ubian/cav will be held at Vehb Center at Old Dominion ■niversity in Norfolk, Va. In the past three years, these conferences have been not only educational and entertaining, but a 'free space" in which to support and strengthen each other with pride and love. It is a gay environment which we create to exprees the beauty of what and who we are in all our diversity, Planning meetings ars on every Thursday at 9pm at the Vniharlan Church, 739 Yarmouth Street, Norfolk, Va. Suggestions on topics you would like to see for a workshop/playshop can be made by writing: The Conference Committee c/o 7U0C 739 Yarmouth Street, Norfolk, Va. 23519 525-1130

The fifth annual SOOTHEASTERN CONFERENCE OF LESBIAN AND SAY MEN will be held in Memphis, Tennessee at the Sheraton Convention Center Hotel, For further information, or if you would like to be on our mailing list, write CONFERENCE '80 P.0. BOX 3038 Memphis, Tenn. 38103

A CALL TO PAY BROTHERS - Spiritual fathering for Radical Fairias in Denver, Colorado For further information contact: Spiritual Gathering for Radical Fairiee P.0. Box 18583 Denver, Colorado 90218 or call: Rat Gourlsy or Don Dorman (303) 377-7230

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I W Gay Horizons is a Chicago group offering a variety of services ranging from room mate referral, employment clearinghouse •172-6463), group services, youth group and conferences to consultation and speaker sercices, newsletter and library. They also have a help line (829-HELP) Xinbersrip is 315.00 yearly and they can be -written to at: ?.0. Box 1313 Chicago, ILL. «06D0

Gav Saskatcnewan is the monthly newsletter of the 3askatch«wan Gay Coalition, It is a way the gay men and lesbians in that area communicate about collective events and personal needs. There are many rural readers and contributors. The coalition requests 32.00 per year for the newsletter and solicits articles and classified personals. Write to: Box 7508 Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada Geyello Pages now has en edition covering Canada and Central U.S. Fegionel editions already exist for the '..'set Coast, th* Northeast, and one on the South is in the final stages, Regional editions cost $2,50 (33,00 outside North America) 'Vrite to: Fenaissance House Box 292 Village Station New York, N.Y. 10014

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279 Collingwood, San Francisco, Ca. 34114

"he Gay Esperanto League exists!!! For information write to: ’-tr. Peter A Banning 44 "orley Toad Twickenham England TV1 2HF

The institute for Southern Studies, publishers of Southern Exposure magazine, is planning to provide a bi-monthly forum, for Southern lesbians and gay men. They want feedback and suggestions. '•’rite to: Allan Troxler Institute for Southern Studies P.O. Sox 531 Durham, N.C. 27702

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(he Lesbian Fat:-, edited by argaret CruiKshanK is a collection f thirty-seven autobiographical sketches. Coat; C6.35 ■.'rite to: Carolina House t 2 Ellis Place Ossing, y.y. 10562

Shirr (Black and white 'ten Together), a new support group for gay men and their friends, was organized recently in San Francisco, "Black men who are primarily attracted to h'hites and '-mite men who are sre orimarily attracted to Blacks have snecial interests and needs which are often overlooked, even derided, by the Gay community at large,""a spokesman for 3WVT 3aid, "It's time that such special Gay pe pie had better access to each other to share ideas and companionship." Membership is open to anyone who identifies* with the goals. 3V/MT publishes a newsletter, and has members throughout the country and Canada, "or information writs:

Lesbians Defining Themselves: Traditionally, research on lesbianism has been conducted by non-lesbians. Honda Carlson, a lesbian, is conducting a national survey to determine how lesbians define themselves and their communities. She recently completed a Master's degree in Social Work and this research is a continuation of a survey done for her thesis. She is in need of lesbians willing to complete a fairly long and soecific questionaire (it should take about l'i hours to fill out). The questionaire and all corresnondence will be kept strictly confidential, but it is hoped that a distil lation of the results will eventually be published. It is not necessary to be 'out' either publicly or to family and non-gay friends in order to participate, All that is necessary is that you be a lesbian and bs willing to take your tine and energy to explain some of what this means to you, "o request a questionaire please write to: Fonda Carlson 3^14 " U l n a r 3r. Dallas, Texas

Two new 'gay novels' are Ed Dean :s Queer and The Fourth vail by ."lkoa Desman, They cost s* . id and C4.35 respectively, Ed Bean Queer is reviewed in the December iseur of Gay Community Ne w s . They can be ordered from the publisher. Write to: Peraona Press 3o x 14022 3an Francisco, Cg. (415) 861-6679

The Citizen's Party is being established around the goals o f : Price stability of necessities Public control of the energy industries Phasing out nuclear pcr-er Pushing for solar power and energy efficiency Human right# at home and abroad "educed military spending Eero unemployment Decentralized economy Wr.te to: The Citizen’s Party 525 13th St. N.W. Washington, D.C. 20004 Committee for the Game seems to have something to do with f e Glass Feed Game by Hesse. They have a newsletter. If intrigued write to: Comnlttee for the Game 1460 S*V. A Street Corvallis, Oregon 37330 Anyone wishing to donete time and/or energy to the reconstruction and allsviation of suffering ir "icare-rua contact: Casa Micmragua 3015 24th Et, San Francisco, Ca. 34110 (415) 824-3729

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my face before my birth was half my father's face looking back into eternity the half-him that was me fought countless wars loved myriad women sired a thousand sons and thousand daughters I am the end of all that I am fruit ripening with no seed to plant no progeny to offer a crowded world my gift is who I am outside of history facing time dissolving in an ever present moment with gentle men whose loving knows no purpose but to kindle in our hearts the quiet light of peace Franklin Abbott

Children begin by loving their parents. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

After a time they judge them. Oscar Wilde

RESEARCH ON DADDY

by Franklin Abbott Research among "social scientists" pertaining to father-son relationships is limited and presented fairly consistently with a middle class bias. Words like "masculinity," "adequate," "moral" are used as though univerÂ sal agreement on the meaning of these concepts has been reached. Research, much like the Bible, can be quoted in the assertion of almost any point. What follows are brief descriptive summaries of research found in a fascinating volume, Social Systems and Family Patterns; A Propositional Inventory by Goode, Hopkins, and McClure. Bobbs-Merrill Company published the book in 19?1 and the references mentioned here were drawn fran pages 2^5-25?. For the sake of brevity and because few readers will have the resources locally (or the inclination to track them down if they were available), direct references are omitted. These can be found in the book. ***The younger the boy the more negatively he will be influenced by his father's absence. ***Boys whose fathers are absent are less aggressive and less achievement oriented. ***If the father is absent the child will idealize him. ***In the father's absence, the mother will overprotect the child and instead of the father experience the child's hostility. ***Boys with absent fathers are less likely to postpone need gratification. ***Boys with absent fathers are moreilikely to exhibit oral regression (thumb sucking, nail biting, smoking). ***Lower class fathers are less affectionate. ***There is a correlation between attitudes toward the father and attitudes toward impersonal authority, i.e.f the state. ***There is a positive relationship between fathers who are cold and distant and shyness in their sons. There is no significant relationship between an absent father and homosexuality in his son. **^Adolescent boys who feel close to their fathers report higher self esteem. ***The unconscious hostility of the father toward his unborn child is the cause of the coitus taboo during the mother's pregnancy. kinship systems where the father -son tie is dominant are called patrilineal, patrilocal, and patriarchal. In patrilineal societies relationships between mothers and children are intimate, between fathers and children, restrained. ***In matrilineal societies relationships between fathers and sons is more likely to be characterized by affection and less tension than in patriÂ archal societies. ***The father in material support ***A *ather with with his son and

patrilineage is more able to help his sons by giving them than the father in matrilineagfe. strong feelings of self rejection will tend to identify reject him proportionately.

***Fathers who are highly anxious about sex tend to be less likely in accepting their sons than fathers with low anxiety about sex. ***Sons who receive little affection from their fathers are more likely to feel dominated by a hostile environment than sons who get adequate paternal affection. *~**The more rewarding the father-son relationship the greater the internalization by the son of paternal values. ***When father-son ties are central overall centralized government exists and submission to authority is consistent with wider government. ***Explicit and almost institutionalized sibling rivalry is, in a sense, a corollary to the stern sub-superordination relationship between fathers and sons. ***Acquisition of male sex-role traits (father-role playing and masculin ity of attitudes) are positively correlated with a warm father-son rela tionship. ■***The moral disintegration of society is correlated with father-son disloyalty. Franklin Abbott

FATHERS ALL ARE WE Fathers all Parents all Individuals without age Only experience Children of the motherfather Childpatent nurtured ParentchiId nurturing Light of life to share Fathers all are we. Gerry

v Iz' Cirlot’s Dictionary of Symbols describes the Father as a symbol of the force of tradition, of the "conscious,” i.e. reasoning, mind, of moral commandments, of the prohibition of instinctual ("subversive") forces. Thunderbolts and weapons are closely associated symbols.

0 that our fathers would applaud our loves! Shakespeare

What is yours is mine my father. Walt Whitman

The father, strong, self-sufficient, manly, mean, angerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d, unjust... Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

father and son are natural enemies and each is happier and more secure in keeping it that way. John Steinbeck

Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for father and son. Evelyn Waugh

I could not point to any need in childhood as strong as that for a father s protection.

Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents

You have to dig deep to bury your daddy. Gypsy Proverb

I could never dance around you, my xatner. No one ever danced around, you. As soon as I left you, my father, the whole world swung into a symphony. Anais Nin, Diaries, Volume II

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Here I am again, trying to put hundreds of thoughts into some coherent written form. For a start: I don’t care for words like FATHER/MOTHER. They are words that create a separation among people. They pigeonhole people. They cause unnecessary role sterotypes. Along with words like ACTRESS/ACTOR, HERO/HEROINE, etc., MOTHER/FATHER words create an artificial distinction based on sex. There are ACTORS, HEROES, and PARENTS. The creation of differences based on sex type is one of the many insidious ways the culture has of keeping our energies divided. Of keeping us from BE-ING. Parenthood, like any responsibility you assume, requires time and energy. You have a new set of considerations to deal with. Being a LOVER/FRIEND requires time and energy. time and energy. PARENTHOOD IS NO DIFFERENT. Well then, what is parenthood like for me? the point.

LIVINO/LIFE requires

A recent incident illustrates

My oldest child needed some monor medical attention at the county hospi tal. While waiting for the doctor I found myself on one side of this glass-like partition. (You know the kind— like at the movie theatre, with a slot at the bottom and a hole about head-high.) There I was, talking to someone seated at a typewriter who was filling out the necessary ADMISSION forms. After the usual NAME, ADDRESS, ETC., I was asked, "PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT?" I smiled aind said, "I stay at home and take care of things. My wife (I d o n ’t like that word either) is employed outside the house." The person behind the glass-like partition (you know the kind) looked up from the typewriter with a rather strange expression on her face. She then typed UNEMPLOYED after the word HUSBAND (those m/f words are all over the place). I tapped lightly on the partition and said, "If I were a woman, would you have put UNEMPLOYED next to the word WIFE?" "Of course not," she said. I smiled again. "Well, I don't consider myself unemployed. In xact, I work longer and harder than I ever worked at an office job." I then began to recite the seemingly endless list of everyday things I had to deal with. About one hundred item on, she X'ed out UNEMPLOYED and typed in HOMEMAKER. i<or me, the living of life is its fulfilment. A parent is just one of the many ME'S people see. There are many M E ’S. Come see for yourself. Fairy Love to All, G.B. Wag-ing-tung

There is no good father, that's the rule. Don't lay the blame on men but on the bond of paternity, which is rotten. v.

Sartre, The Words

Sissie/l Thought My Father Was A Man/What Will We Be When We Are Free797 I. Sissie, with earrings dangling like the laws you want to pass. Eyes seeing too clearly the botched reflections Of Justice, in a scratched glass. A man in a dress is a man nonetheless Despite the stress of the carnal or the criminal law. Sissie, you are the trigger, and your knowledge is the draw. How can they let you forget it When you won't let them forget it? They with the manifold loops and turns and bows— Sissie, dismiss it, it ain't worthy of your vow. No, it ain't worth the price you pay In the blood of the lash and brow. But what can you do now, with all that you see? Knowing there's something, and It's aching to be free. II. A child of the mountains, I sought to understand Needing more than those an swers supplied By the sun riding up ridges to the sky. He was my Gibraltar Rock— I wanted to take his hand. But he took his hounds to the bounding woods. And told me to take a stand. And all through this grew the bittersweet— I thought my Father was a Man, A man, like the Greek heroes painted their men. A man, light shining on a vague terrain. A song, where all the music before Had been empty echoes of hunting dogs down hollers. Or wagging tails thumping on the naked floors. I thought my father was a man And in manifold meaning I sought to catch his eyes In a vast and great forbidden: With the man I wanted to lie, Soundless on a mountaintop With talk as free as our strumming hands. And body heat stoked man-to-man. He told me sharply I was destined to flee Across my time, a fefugee. And though he displayed the lay of the land, I found just his sorrows when I reached for his hands. I drowned tomorrows on grand castles of sand. I thought my father was a man, III. And now with these illusions shattered, Just as I must, you must make it all matter. Life is both for learning and unlearning The truth of virile manliness. Now it seems to take a lot To really be a man of new denomination. What will we Be when we are free?

Michael Mason

Oh Master

My overlord and master for too many years When I tried to oreak loose, you'd crush me to tears; Knowing how to get to me, safe behind your wall, Jeep into my wounds, you abandoned my fall. Break ing my will, were your efforts in vain? lo crush a free spirit and put him in chains; Like the ones on your own life you chose to yoke, So that release and expression were never provoked. Beaten by your own master, swearing to change, But your hurts you would let no one rearrange; So you Lasted in the pain and tried to subdue, Within and without you, all those who knewThat another way was ready, a path to be carved, To pull Lack the passion from which we'd been starved; And now to look deep into my brothers' eyes for love, Without your vacant presence hovering above. The screams you never heard, and all you blocked out, I learned never to need, and always to doubt; My brothers to fear and my sisters to tame, You taught me well, oh master, to be nothing but sane. Standing in my way at each straying path, A variation or side-step would incur your wrath; To survive I threw out what I cannot replace, Your power, in ashes, back into your face. My submission, Oh master, was never complete, As you swore your childhood never to repeat; 1ou recreated the script with your indifference and hate, Exiled me to silence and dubious fate. I lost you back then, your furry embrace, Withdrawn from my reach without any a trace Of caring or touch except monetary gain, From despising you and fearing you I could not refrain. Between your sad eyes, loneliness and scorn, and anger at this fragile failure to conform; Lies a hidden respect for the stand that I take, And a harsh seething view of all your mistakes. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;or loving my brothers you feel nijthing but fear, lor one final time I tried drawing you near; 'lo touch me and know all the pain that I've felt, Our anger and distance to finally melt.

But never comes the day that changes you, old man Or bridges the battlefield of our ailing time span; To finally accept that the candle burned down, And let go of the hope where for so long I drowned. VJalking off to leave you, so far and behind, And understand in your maleness did the world keep you ^lind, Far from my words there is little left to give, And one less half-assed reason to continue to live. While to kill you, perhaps, is my final reply; This world could never conjure the simple reason why, Not for anger, or pain, or our darkened historyMy final gift to you, oh master, an end to your misery.

More Poetry Elazar Oh E l a z a r , y o u r d a r k e v e s , Y ou r b ro wn s k i n and loner, e b o n y Your f i r m m u s c l e d body and s t r i d and your s h i n i n g s m i l e . nh, and E l a z a r , y o ur d a r k e v e s , wond er i n g , and oh so t e n d e r ,

hair, i n g walk, s p a r k l i n g and so t e n d e r .

h a t c h i n g you from u p s t a i r s , wat c h you w a i t f o r the i r o n c a t e s to op e n . W a t c h i n g y o u s i t t i n g o n a l o g , o r w a l k i n g down t h e t r e e s h a d e d ba 1 c k t o p l a n e i n t h e h o t G u l f C o a s t mor n i n g . The f r a c r a n c e o f m a g n o l i a b l o s s o m s and E l a z a r ' s d a r k eyes s e n d i n g magic i n t o the a i r . T h i n k i n a o f the day i n t he c o u n t r y . P r i n k i n g and laughing, playing cards. Y o u across the table, so s t r o n g , yet shy, always

pur You

sc and

never

with

unkind

swimming in the l a k e , t a k i n g h a n d s fu l o f s i l k y water, p r o p e l l i n g y o u r s e l f i n t o the and b a c k ana i n .

clear, depths

W o n d e r i n g how t o s a y , a n d i f t o s a y - a n y t h i n g . H a t i n g o u r s t a t i o n s i n s o c i e t y a n d t h e r o l e s we p l a y . Tn a n o n y a b o u t w h i c h o f u s s h o u l d s p e a k , a n d i f i t i s e v e n s p e a k i n g t h a t you n e e d . W o u l d h a v e w o r d s d e s t r o y e d my d r e a m I s a y ? B u t E l a z a r i s none now . I w i l l r e me mb er y o u , you and y o u r d a r k e y e s , oh E l a z a r .

Ton

Hanes

Cold Canned Fuck

Into my heart you came, off the streets. Sexually starved, seeking release. I thought we had love on cosmic planes. I wonder if such raptures, either may share again? It has been a long, long wait for me, but who knows what tomorrow may be? I saw the magic twinkling in your eyes, when they met mine under the darkening sky. But where did it go? Your life, you say, is for you alone, and for other wandering eagles, who have no aeries. I give you back to the knights of stone. I'm going out under the moon, to dance with the nymphs, the fauns, the witches, the fairies. My nest is frail, and your feet are so big. How can I keep from falling, perched on this twig? Did we ask too much of one another you and I? Have we nothing more to share, I cry? Perhaps we will meet again in the wilderness, When we are crazed savages, immersed in blissfulness.

Tom Manes

Tearooms Graffiti littered stalls ten inches hot and ready urinal groping hardons heated in the danger reach standing wait hear the steps fall doors open young old what life holds black priapus strokes lovely soft brown knee drops genuflect to lipheld host truck stop ambushers plunge reckless unheedful of the smokey who drops his pants for a piece spreadeagled black boots shine as you suck hosannah. 47

B ill

M atthis

When W i n t e r

Come s

When winter comes and all about me, snowflakes hurl themselves into the window glass I will sit and pick out tunes with one finger on the piano and try to imagine you here. i'll make mulled wine to sip alone, thinking. There's a oart of you in me that will never go away. I wouldn't want it to. Steve Garman

" T o p r o pa a a t e a n d m u l t i p i u I s y o u r p u r po s e o n t h i s e a r t h t h e Cod t h a t l o o k s you i n the eue I s the a s s e s s o r o f pour worth. The c o n d e m n a t i o n w r i t t e n i n m0 t h e v e r u l a w s o f l i f e , we o u r s e l v e s d e s i g n e d n o r u l e s But y o u must t a k e a w i f e . â&#x20AC;? v>hat c r u e l c r e a t o r n u r n o s e d me A a a i n s t t h e l a w s o f ma n ? My s o u l h a s i t s d i r e c t i o n s , B u t t h i s God I d o n ' t u n d e r s t a n d . Alone a g a i n s t the s c r i p t u r e s q u o t e d ^unnincr l i k e the b l a c k s h e e e h i s t o r y V o p l a c e a mono t h e f a m i l i e s Of c l a y d e s i o n e d to b r e a t h e . A n d a era i n h e r e n o w I q u e s t i o n : v h a t c r u e l G o d c r e a t e d me ?

M i c h a e l C. 13 O c t o b e r

Mason 79

has

noted.

What is It? What is it about San Francisco that I like that we like why w e ’re here It's simple actually San Francisco is a place where no one is weird. Where all the oddballs have collected all the ugly ones the people who never— well, you know— be— OddWhere we discovered we are beautiful The ugly ducklings who are now — who always were— Swans, Crazy Owl

photographic dreams seem like you've just undressed your blonde vegetarian waiter smiling not believing his body compliments his mind his niceness his whole wheat bread.

£ keep the postcards and call them mine i count them slow and hide the best fingering the smooth

i watched a cockroach shit black shit black as i trapped it and tried to set it free shit black freaking out masculinity defining denying masculinity shit black.

49 S te v e

R o g e rs

To My P h y s i c a l l y

D istant

Lover

My love for you was molten iron, hot, impetuous, all-consuming, searing. You took my hands, my heart, my mind in yours and helped me shape my love. What was hot is warm and comforting; Impetuous, disciplined and respecting of space; All-consuming, tender and turned, Searing, open and all-loving. You helped me do this to my love with my love, and, still, because of these, my love has grown. The smooth, warm lines of my love under your hands, your heart, your mind miss the understanding friend they find in you. "To have loved and lost..." but the love is not lost, only distant . "What a piece of work is man..." but how does one explain the love of one man for another? "I love you, I honestly love you..." but do the words of a song express the feeling a unique I feel uniquely for a unique you? "When I think on your Name, BaBa, Whan I think on the Name That means Everything to me, Then I get a strange vibration Going all over me..." but what do I do if your name also makes me get a strong vibration starting from my heart, and spreading through my memory? What do I do if I feel Divinity in every word you say, every movement you make, every curve of your body, every look (those rare looks!) from your eyes? I must carry this love, this feeling of Divinity, into my work, my art, my feeling of self in relation to others so that being away from you means nothing if I can only recall to mind and heart that one time when we were together and you told me with you- eyes, "Yes, I guess I do love you."

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NOTES FROM HERMIT HOLLOW

BY JOHN

I'm a country boy, born and raised, yet there were many years when I had to work in citified surroundings - albeit luxury private C a r i b bean vacht clubs and hotels, ending up in that Nevada floodlit desert spot, Las Vagas. From the age of twelve when I discovered duroy workman's pants of a farmboy, I've ences lay. Like older guys, I've had to today, living in a small community I can timacy of my home.

the drop-front of thick cor had no doubt where my prefer be very discreet, and even only express myself in the in

I never lost my great love for gardening, and it's through this that I can remain on good terms with neighbors who come around for advice and to see my heavy crops - some new to them, but as ordinary as leeks and shallots. As many a youth without specialized training I worked in offices and as a travelling salesman to eventually chuck it to become a farm worke r. Moon children are sensitive to the needs of others, and make good hosts I wanted to live full time in the country but be independent of a boss. Hiking and bicycling was popular in Europe, so, money saved I took some months off and, staying with some understanding houseparents they let me run their hostel on weekends and then recommended me to the associ ation for a youth hostel of my own. I found a large seashore house to lease and hosted, cooked for, and looked after 5,000, of all ages and from many countries, the first season, providing good meals from vegtables in my garden and fresh cream, eggs, and meats from nearby farms. Who hasn't idealized life on an island? Some of my hostel guests came from the zoological department of a university in the area, and being so near, became good friends and visitors most weekends. The univer sity had leased an abandoned lighthouse on an island forty miles from the coast. The island, three miles long and one half mile wide had two manned lighthouses either end, the one leased by the university sitting on a high spot in the middle of the island became useless as the light was above the low fogs and ships on this heavily used trade route were unable to see it at these times. Trawlermen at the nearest harbor to the island and who fished it's waters, deposited me, ray sleeping bag and a supply of canned food in January. The first week gale force winds, as only the Atlantic can whip up, lashed the island: temperatures dropped and I woke to find the 100 foot tower and house! solidly encased in ice. On duty three months and on shore a month, the three lighthouse keepers at each end of the island liked to visit and share their affections. They brought me

V \

fish and lobsters they caught, and later when I'd brought in four goats, I supplied them with fresh railk. Students arrived to make surveys of the flora and fauna of the island and seashore, and for an on-going record of birdlife I kept notes on migrations. 52

XXX

XXV

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XXX

In a sheltered spot I made a vegetable garden, barricaded by a high wire fence to keep out goats and sheep and buried In the ground to deter burrowing rabbits. There was an estimated ten thousand sea gulls in addition to thousands of other seabirds that make up the resident population. The gulls raauraded the nests of the smaller Buffins, gulliroots, and terns, taking eggs and any young left un attended, so I had no qualms when I collected gulls eggs for the table, pickling hundreds for later use. A voracious reader of travel books, I decided that an island in the tropics sounded an ideal spot to live. I wash't quite the loner as the New Zealander, Tom Neale who lived on a remote Pacific island by himself for five years. By devious ways from working in Canadian logging and construction camps as a cook I was able to sa»e enough to visit the Bahamas. There, meeting hotel workers from the main land they offered me a job which brought tropical island living to me on and off for seven years. From the stark simplicity of a northern island, clad always in heavy cords and sweaters to scant beachwear that enabled roe to color native style. From walking - sometimes bent nearly double by the strong Atlantic winds - to laying on a beach and floating in a sun-warmed translucent ocean, my exercise was the nightly gyrations of calypso so ably taught by the young native cops that shared my apartment. Independence for the islands from colonial rule routed foreign work ers so my journey led back to Florida where I built a cottage and grew citrus fruits for myself. A transfer to Las Vagas and a vaca tion to the Northwest where I and ray companion fell in love with this canyon, I bought a country property and two years later decided to sink or swim by living full time here and getting out of the rat race. 11 *s now seven years since settling in this beautiful area. There are happy memories of ray travels and temporary homes, but the quiet forested mountains all around me now are as a Linus blanket and I sel dom have a desire to leave the little plot of Good Earth which fules me in energy from it's bounteous crops and smiling flowers. Friends come to share my hearth and home and to renew their contact with the soil and simpler ways, and I look forward to new contacts who have the same longing to "get away from it all" for a whila, and maybe even tually become country dwellers.

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The production of honey as a profit making country activity should not be ignored by RFD readers.

I"; can

not be stated tnat everyone will find beekeeping to be pleasant or profitable,

but here is some information

that may help to decide if beekeeping is for you. First, be aware that honey bees are not native to the Western Hemisphere.

They were imported early in the

exploitation of the Western Hemisphere and have become an important business.

Secondly,

there are many varieties

of bees used in the United States and Canada.

The most

predominate varieties used are the Italian bee and the Caucasian bee Decause of their gentleness and productivity. Third,

there are no savage bees,

to control,

some bees are more difficult

but the exaggerations about the African bee

imported into Brazil are exploitation of man's lust for violence.

Bees are controlled by using smoke.

Perhaps one of the biggest concers about bees is the sting.

The first thing to do when stung is to remove the

stinger.

The stinger is a living part of the b e e ’s body.

Its point is sheathed in barbs and it has a muscle that continues

to contract after it leaves the b e e ’s body,

driving it further into the flesh and injecting more venom with each pulse.

The proper thing to do is to remove the

stinger at once in order to stop this injecting action. Scrape it away to one side with your fingernail or a knife blade if you have one. pinch the barb, venom.

that facilitates the injection of more

Ten-O-Six lotion and Sting-Kill are commonly sold

venom neutralizers. bee venom, April

Do not use a tweezer or otherwise

If you have an allergic reaction to

a bee-venom therapy was discussed in Newsweek,

11, 1977, pages 64-65.

Being allergic to bee stings

does not mean you can not keep bees, but you should become knowledgeable about the care, beekeeping. XXXX

control and processes of

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Information about beekeeping is readily available. ABC & XXZ Of Bee Culture is touted as being the best book available.

It can be purchased from A.I. Hoot, Co.

623 West Liberty Street, P.0. Box 706, Medina, Ohio 44256, for about twelve dollars. magazine,

Gleanings in Bee Culture, a

can also be purchased from the Root company.

The American Bee Journal can be obtained by writing to it in Hamilton,

Illinois 62341 .

Of course your local

agricultural agent or beekeeping society can be valuable sources of information and advice. Hopefully in the not too distant future RFD readers will be able to order honey from an RFD ad and know they are buying from a gay brother.

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T le other day Dave and I were questioning just how our cabin sits with respect to North and South. It made me think of a very simple and very accurate method I once read about in Popular Science. We tried it and it works: 1. Stand a straight (or Gay) stick in the ground. It should be at least 'welve inches long, with the ground clear and level. Mark with a stone, the tip of the shadow cast by the stick.

2. Now take a break for about thirty minutes. (This is the best part, and very important. Just rime enough for a dip in the creek and a joint or two.) During this time the shadow will have moved. Mark with a second stone, the tip of the shadow, now moved. 3. Draw a straight line through both stones. This line runs east and west. The first stone is at the west end of this line. 4. Draw the shortest line from the base of the stick to the east-west line. This points straight north in the Northern hemisphere. Now you know right where you are,.don't you!

Loose bolt

I'd like to pass this on also: It is a goat-nriIking stand. It holds our goat steady and gives her something to do while we milk her. We trade some yummy feed for fresh milk She's happy and we're happy. /.We used 2x4's all around.

The dimensions would depend on the size of

your goat Z.This 2x4 swings over and latches to hold the goat's head, not too tight though. Front view, with feed box removed to show swinging 2x4. * This is a pretty basic drawing but the idea is simply to give the goat a stable place to be during milking.

Keep up the good work! Randy Krahn Star Rt Box 67-C Bridgeville, C a .

95^26

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d i r e c t i o n s , i a u u e e o n ion, garlic, p e p p e r , m u s h r o o m s in b u t t e r . nix in a bow l : the egg, the c o r n m e a l , the b a k i n g p o w d e r , c h i l i powder, cum i n , salt. Add: sauteed veggies. Add. beans, p l u s 3/4 c u p stock and water. Mix. B ake at 350 d e g r e e s u n t i l a l m o s t done. A d d 1/2 to 3/4 c a n of t o m a t o s a u c e a nd the g r a t e d .'.cose. B a k e 5 to 10 m o r e m i n u t e s .

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"Toe-Food?!?!

Yech! That sounds like something in my socks!"

That's not a pearl of wisdom from Roseanne Roseannadanna, but a typical response from folks I work with when I remove my lunch from the shop fridge. "Tofu," I reply, "T-O-F-U. It's a curd cheese made from soybeans." That usually keeps them quiet enough for me to enjoy my gastronomical de-lite. Tofu is rather bland in itself, but its blandness is the key to its versatility. Main dishes, desserts, whatever you wish to do, tofu will do it!

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FAERIN'S TOFU POTATOES Ingredients:

Directions:

1 lb tofu (crumbled) 3-4 medium potatoes 8 oz. sour cream (optional, but yummy!) 1 cup shelled English peas 2 tablespoons finely minced scallions 2 tablespoons finely minced parsley 2 teaspoons dill 1 tablespoon poppy seeds salt (if you must)

Boil potatoes, drain and mash thoroughly. While mashing, add tofu and mix well. Steam peas for 10-15 minutes until almost tender. Add together everything except sour cream (vegetarians may forget it altogether). Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Remove and fold in the stuff the vegetarÂ ians forgot. Bake for another 10 minutes.

UN -TUNA SALAD (to be eaten with an un-cola) 1 lb. tofu 1 red pepper 2-3 tbs. mayonaise spice to your own taste , but

1 onion 2 cloves garlic salt or 1 tbs miso (the raisoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better for you) 1 tso..of the following works fine

chili powder mustard tume ric caraway seeds

nutritional yeast kelp chives

TOFU GUACAMOLE 1 lb. tofu 1 large avocado (2 if small) 1/4 c nutritional yeast 1 tbs lemon juice 2 tso ground cumin 1/2 tjo ground red pepper

1 onion 2 tbs miso (1 tsp. salt) 1/4 c dried sickles 1/2 c (eggless) mayonaise 1 tso ground mustard

NOW: Combine all ingredients and mash them together with a potato masher. Serve with tomatoes, sorouts and other greens in socket bread or on corn tortillas.

Contact Letters! drawings

by Jamal

Dear RFD Erothers* We are all "out there" somewhere. Hooray for Contact Letters! They give us a chance to find out how close together we really can be. Even if the miles are dis tant, the words of friendship and support are right in your hands. Because of such a letter in last summer’s issue, I am now living with the man I wrote to. Dave and I are on ^0 acres of woods in a comfy cabin/house, doing it with out elecricity or phone. Our water runs from a spring up the hill and we awake with the orange dawn shedding its warming rays on the top branches of our "Morning Tree" in the distance. HWY 36 winds its way through awesome groves of Redwoods to bring us and visitors to our mountain home, 60 miles SE of Eureka, California. I put alot of value on the support we Gay men can give each other, either in friendship through letters or through actual meeting. I would very much like to write to fellow RFD-ers and hopefully be able to share a visit with you. I am 29 and enjoy our attempts at self-suf ficiency on the land. I am anxious to share ideas and support for surviving such attempts. And just as im portant, I feel the need to give and receive support as a Gay man who knows we are all nearby, waiting to get to gether. I also enjoy my mile walk to the mailbox everyday! Pansy-Power! Randy Krahn Star Rt. Box 6 ?-c Bridgeville, California 955^6 61 •

_________________________________________________________________

January 25,

1980

RFD: After reading this paper for the past few years (I'm a slow reader), I must recommend a new name for it. Forget RFD--call it Better Homos and Gardens, or Better Homos* Gardens. This would immediately double circulation. Then, if you ever actually printed an article on gardening, no one would die from the shock. During the past couple of years I've weaned myself away from Montreal, to Vancouver, and currently to a small farm near Victoria, British Columbia. I'm close enough to Victoria to mingle with the local gay commu nity, yet far enough away to get used to rural ways. RFD has been a very positive force in this"second coming out" for me. Your readers' sharing of their lives, and dreams and experiences has given me an in ner conviction and knowledae that it can be done, even by m e . I thank you all. I've had the chance to vis’t some of your homesteads, sit in on mountain tops to stop herbicide sprayers, and tasted of your harvest. And those experiences have helped me change my life faster than I thought possible. So here I am, living in one of Canada's loveliest islands- an island, very scenic, with level roads, ideal for cyclists', hikers, and with waterways. My house is open to RFD people who want to visit this area. The house is roomy, or you can sleep under the stars. Just watch out for the flocks of ducks that sleep by the beach each night. The first time I walked along the shore near the house, my footsteps caused a few hundred of them, to sleep elsewhere that night. I'd love to hear from Pacific Northwest people in particular. Perhaps we can have a harvest festival this year- or several- one in each region. Perhaps we can even convince RFD to publish 6 times a year. There must be some solstices that you can use as a guide that no one has discovered yet. Here's to a good spring and happy planting. Peace Roy Haim Salonin 7873 Lochside Drive Saanichton VoS ]Mo British Columbia 62

Attention East Coast Back-to-the-Land Gays: If you are serious and hardworking, I have the land and buildings and animals (horses) near a small northern N.E. village. Need single men to help put it into production again. All ideas wel足 come. Work out share basis. Near Dartmouth College. Write: Gordon Heard c/o Crossroads Lyme, New Hampshire Phone: 603-795-2400

Forming collective of mellow together people in Gold Rush Country between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe. We've got a total of 99 acres. There are four here now. Two gay men (both single) and a hetero couple (no kids). Half open, rolling meadow, half forest, creek through the middle, lake stocked with fish. Two living spots available now: an old (1890) cabin that needs some repair (maybe $500 or so) and an 8x25 foot trailer. Teepees anywhere possible. Mellow together people who have their shit together. No boozers and no clones. And, sorry, no sissies (lotsa rednecks and Christians in these parts) . (Note: we are not anywhere near Mendocino.) We have chickens, goats, dogs, cats, gardens, berries, fruit trees, and good growing season climate. Visitors welcome; we're 3 hours from SF by bus or car. And no phone here. Contact: Steve or Randy P.O. Box 79 Mt. Aukum, California

Anyone

Howdy!

95656

in O k l a h o m a :

I want

visit

Oklahoma

soon

1980) a n d w o u l d l i k e s o m e o n e t o v i s i t .

(end o f s u m m e r I'm t h i n k i n g

or of

fall mov足

ing to O k l a h o m a w i t h i n two years. Before I leave here ( R u s s i a n R i v e r , S o n o m a C o u n t y , C a l i f o r n i a ) I n e e d to u p d a t e m y t e a c h i n g c r e d e n t i a l or get a p r a c t i c a l n u r s i n g c e r t i f i 足 cate. I w a s r a i s e d a r o u n d C h a n d l e r , O k l a h o m a u n t i l a g e 15. W a s l a s t t h e r e in '71, b u t w i t h w i f e a n d k i d s . As k n o w , t h e r e l a t i v e s ( au n t s, u n c l e s , c o u s i n s ) d o n ' t

f a r as I k n o w I am

a (sometimes flaming) faggot. T h e a r e a I l i v e in is f a s t becoming a metropolis. I w a n t to live s o m e w h e r e w h e r e h o m e 足 s t e a d i n g is m o r e o f a p o s s i b i l i t y f o r a p o o r p e r s o n l i k e me. A n y i n f o r m a t i o n o n w h a t i t ' s l i k e t o b e o u t / g a y in O k l a h o m a would Will

appreciated.

Thanks!

lucha

continu a !

Ballard

Box 104 Guernewood

Park,

California

95546

___________________________

March 7» 1980 Dear RFD: I found a copy of your magazine in a bookstore and I am glad I did. It's better than Mother Earth News because it doesn’t have that slick, commer cial format which is a turn-off— and i t ’s beautiful. I moved from San Francisco a year ago and bought a small ranch near Palm Springs. The location is pretty, with large shade trees, and rolling terrain, five acres of it. The weather is warm year round, and with irrigation everything grows here. I am 35, well-built and active, and share the ranch with a friend. We welcome visitors from the RFD audience who like the same things. We have horses, a herd of goats, pigs, geese, and dogs. The house is large but rustic, with 5 bedrooms, so there is plenty of room for new friends from all parts of the country. Would like to hear from other guys into country things (except country music). Sincerely, Jerry Price 25340 Spring Perris, GA 92370 Telephone: 714-657-7767

February 25» 1980 As a single male, adoption is almost impossible for me in Canada unless I adopt a child over the age of nine who is retarded and possibly physically handicapped as well. Because of this, I have tried to find out the possibilities for private adoption. After talking with several lesbians here about co-parenting, further frustrations arose: (l) the idea was fine until legal adoption was mentioned; (2) no mother I talked to had a child who was not already co-parented by the father. My next area of quest for this very nurturing, caring male was to discuss alternatives, men’s circles, wimmin’s circles, prothonogenesis (virgin birth) and oven basters. But all these are ideas with no specific directions. So if any men out there have ideas, children, or other situations to aid this man looking for a child, my arms are open and my heart wide to share some love and care. John Tomlinsen 3024 Carroll St. Victoria, B.C. Canada

254-29 74th Ave. Glen Oaks, New York 11004 Jan. 2, 1980 Dear Friends, Greeting. A most Full and Happy New Year to you. Reading your magazine has increased my longing to live in a more natural setting. I am currently teaching in New York, looking for a group of people with whom I can learn - work - share with this summer. I have lived in the Catskills in N. Y. and in Colorado. Now living in New York City. I miss the peacefullness and calm of a rural area. I have studied and traveled in India, P e o p l e d Republic of China, and Japan and would like to share my energy with loving people in a rural community. If you know of any communities that I may flow into please let me know. Thanks a lot for your time and energies. Forrest John Salvate

For years I've known that at some time I ’d probably live in the country. That time seems to be close at hand. I'm into making contact with some gay men living in the country. My ideal situation would be a commune or collective or a place where there is a ’’community" of some alternative people. I'd be most comfortable in a "mixed" (gay and straight) situation. I hope to drive across country this summer and I'd like to visit some people on my way. I don't have a lot of survival skills, but I have helped build a house and I enjoy working with my hands and with tools. I also have some money to buy some land, or a house to restore, or livestock or whatever^ Recently I've been doing social work, and during the six years I lived m Berkeley I did some gay movement stuff. Finally (this is beginning to sound like an autobiography), I'm into alternative lifestyles, open and direct communication, music, motor cycles, and the outdoors. I'm mostly easy-going and am most at ease with masculine-oriented males (which I am one of myself). Also, I've gotten used to mild sunny weather, so I'd ideally like to settle somewhere with that kind of weather. So, I hope to hear from some people. Even if you're just passing through northern Florida, I like company. Or if you live in the area, it would be nice to meet you. Please write. Pat Land P.0. Box 13784 Gainesville, Florida

32604

January 10, 1980 Dear Friends at RFD: Glad to report that I am now going to be living with a great man that I found through the Contact Letters section of RFD back around the Spring of â&#x20AC;&#x2122;?9. Thanks! My support really goes out to all the generous men (and women?) who put out RFD. It's a tremendous support to all of us "country gays." Keep it up and let me hear from you. Randy Krahn Star Rt. Box 67-C Bridgeville, GA 95526

February 15 t 1980 Dear RFD, I lived in Wolf Greek, Oregon for 5 years. Since then, I've been in New York City for almost that long. Now I'm buying land in upstate New York (south of Albany, east of the Hudson) and would like to hear from people who are interested in sharing in its use, care and/or ownerÂ ship. There is room and need for fulltime residents. Others will be around less often. At times it will be a place for gatherings. The life of the land evolves from respect for it and the needs of the people who are involved in it. If you are interested, please contact: Arthur Finn 40 Harrison St., Apt. 8C New York, New York 10013 Telephone: 212-285-1536

February 25* 1980 Dear RFD: I â&#x20AC;&#x2122;m looking for new places and lifest les to check out and to eventually grow into. A faggot/gay man myself, I'm interested in group living with gay men and boys (though preferably with lesbians as well) on a semirural farm with a fairly long growing season, near a cultural center, whether large town or small city. I want to be able to make use of the populated center for income, cultural and political stimulation? but at the same time have a committed relationship to the people I live with and to the farming/chores/society of the natural environment. Skills and joys include gardening; making music with voice, piano, and hand drums (classical, jazz, and want to form a collective with other gay men for making new music); physical work; poetry and fiction; childÂ ren; organizing; learning new skills related to homesteading and alterÂ native energies; and preparing food. Things I do not want includes butchering animals except for fishing and collecting eggs and milking goats; a household full of couples; having to crash to the big city for a weekly sex fix; hierarchies, except those based on teaching/].earning where everybody involved and the physical environment benefits; guilt trips (prefer living examples of better ways to be); a camp camp without goals and solidity; sexism, racism, classism, fern-phobia, a lack of activism and political work appropriate to the group and place. Want a lot, but don't expect it all to be available at once in one place. If many of my needs seem to fit what you need, please write. I promise to respond to all, and maybe to include details, both boring and not. Love, unity, liberation, Krisga (Chris Garten) U-2 Bigelow Street Cambridge, Massachusetts

02139

Dear EFD Friends, For some years now I have been collecting a library for social and technological alternatives, and working to use computers for a community communications network. I'm a 36 year old bearded hippie, hitchhike everywhere, do work in electronics in SanFrancisco, turned my suburban yard into vegetable gardens, and next want to solar retrofit my house (although it needs some plain ole repair too!). I sometimes call myself a "cooperative facilitator" but at other times I'm a klutz at relating to people. I yearn to share a communal community again, maybe in the country, where I grew up. To me, coming out is a continuous process, and I am striving for a truly integrated society. I try to be starkly honest, am definitely not monogamous, and often "vanish" when I get really into a project. I need a self-sufficient soul to share my dreams with me. (I don't think I mean a lover, but t'would be OK.) If this is your cup of tea, I would like to hear from you. Bill Hill P.0. Box ^72 Fairfax, California 9^93Â° Telephone: ^15-^57-0355

Greetings RFD, There is in California a ranch and a rancher in need of the care and sustenance of a co-steward of the rewards and responsibilities. The talents required are numerousâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; a vital young gay man well perfected in intellectual., physical, cultural, spiritual and sexual dimensions. One who can revel in living things and their nurturing; yet tolerate occasional frustration from man made objects.-One who can exult in clean air, nude sunbathing, solar pool swimming, wood sauna massaging; yet dispatch routine chores with good cheer.--One who can celebrate a renewal of the ancient Greek relationship among men.--One who can find exhilaration in a great symphony and an elegant dinner in that most felicitous city of San Francisco. Surely there are such extraordinary men. If you are curious about this ranch and rancher write Hal, P. 0. Box 1173, Palo Alto, California 94302. Peace! Hal

February 26, 1980 Friends, I understand that there are one or two or more people living in the countryside by themselves who are not "surviving" real well. I would like to get in touch with these people, for I am looking for him/them/ etc. Come share my tiny farmette, or I will join yours. I love nature (animals, bees, birds, gardening). I don't smoke or drink. No heavy religion. Live alone in need of friend/companion. Peace and Love! A.L. Franqui c/o Farming Uncle Box 91 Liberty, New York P.S.

1275^-

Like your RFD very much— keep up the good work, We really need this type of publication. .Hope to subscribe at a later date, when I have some bread to spare.

European fag coming to the United States and Canada in summer hopes to meet a rural commune or single human being with whom he can live and work for a couple of weeks. I am now in my early 30's, I've sympathy for anarchy, I like beards and dislike junk food. Please send letters to: Klaus Klenovits, Brusselerplatz 19, D 5000 Koln-1, West Germany.

RFD ErothersFirst of all I would like to direct energy of_ appreciation to those who effectively put their abi lities, effort and/or time into getting this jo u r n a l out to us- as a source of alternative reading. Second I would like to extend information to those interested in ownership of a creative and selfsufficient cooperative farm community. This land is located in a key location for most alternative energy possibilities. Oregon has a responsive state govern ment for cooperative situations and most Oregon resi dents keep up with state government activity. The land is located 36 miles southeast of Crater Lake. I would like to hear from others who are interested in a gay farm community or even cooperative ownership. Last I want to express my interest in RFL publi cation to continue to relocate with each future issue. I plant trees with the Hoedads Coop and can testify that every relocation we make brings on new and inter esting input and this applies to gay cultures all over; also I find it really interesting to feel the creative ness and spirit of the gay brotherhood from all areas. Onward! Love and Support Rex Lidorold 295 W 17th St. Fugene, Oregon 97^01

T H E 1980 E L E C T I O N S A P L A C E FOR US At the recent urban fairyspace in Atlanta, a Tew of us had an impromptu discussion on electoral politics and whether there was any value in it for the lesbian and gay movement. Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject. My perspective does not claint to be unbiased; I have supported various independent parties and candi dates in the past; many years ago I was a Democrat, but will never seriously support that party or its candidates. When I vote for a Dem or Rep it is only in an effort to defeat the other candidate who I perceive to be the grea ter of the two evils. FAG RAG in 1972 said MI know the difference between ham and bacon, but they both come from a pig." Enough said about the one party and its two wings. Electoral politics can be approached in several ways. In order to reach a clear-quear analysis, we must decide what our goals are. My goal with electoral politics is not to get one of "us” elected, because in most of the country at the present time that is not feasible except by staying closeted and compromising oneself to the system of Demopublican monoparty. My goal is to shift the whole center of the political spectrum and debate in "our" di rection. For me this entails a whole program of lesbian and gay liberation, respect for mother earth and her creatures, worker self-management, alternative energy de velopment, no nukes, etc. etc. Looking back in history, this has been done most successfully by third-party or independent movements which have raised issues and forced the Demopublicans to attempt to co-opt them by adopting their program (or part of it). This is what happened to the populists in 1896 , the progressives and socialists in the 1920*s and 1930's, and the Henry Wallace Progressives in 19^8. The Republicans began as a third party in 1856 , then took over when the Demos split and the Whigs dissolved in i860 . In North Dakota, the "Non-Partisan League” of farmers took over the Republican Party and the State Gov ernment in 1916-1922. See the great movie "Northern Lights" for more on this one. Anyway back to the moment at hand. Third-party move ments, when the time is right can have a major impact on the political direction of the country. Look at the George Wal lace phenomenon in 1968 . His presence in the election really changed the possibilities and possibly the outcome. There are always a number of "perennial" Marxist or Trotskyist parties which field presidential tickets— Communist Party, Socialist Workers Party(SWP), Socialist Labor Party (SLP),

r L t t

\Aj LA

Socialist Party (recently reorganized) and this year for the first time Workers World Party (WWP). The SWP and WWP may try to court gay voters, just as they try to co-opt our move ment and take over demonstrations etc. SWP had a very poor record on lesbian and gay rights, and it is getting worsel Send me an SASE for a reprint on them from the Guar dian newspaper. Even if these little sects siad all the right things, no one listened to them except other leftists! They lack a mass base and am open process to really have any effect on the political situation. So where does that leave us if we want to parti cipate in the electoral circus of 1980?? Glad you asked that question... there is an entirely new party in the process of being formed. You may not have heard of it, because its outreach is limited, especially in the gay and lesbian communities. This group’s name is the Cit izen’s Party (CiP) and its potential presidential can didate is Barry Commoner, an ecologist from Washington University in St. Louis. Formation of the party has been slow, partly because of the now-falling Kennedy candidacy and its hold on many progressive elements. Even though the hour is late, the Citizens Party is getting itself underway for 1980. The Platform Convention will be held in Cleveland, Ohio on April 11-13* I plan to be there to see that lesbian and gay liberation is an integral part of the platform, and that a woman is nominated for vice-pres ident if a man heads the ticket. I am well aware of the limitations and pitfalls of this political path, having trod it before with the Dr. Spock campaign and the People’s Party in 1972-1976. In order to have the impact it should on the 1980 elections, the Citizen’s Party needs a lesbian and gay cauacus...I invite all readers of RFD to check it out. John Burnett of the San Francisco CiP has written a **working paper” on **gay rights”. He can probably be reached throught the office at 9^2 Market St. #612, San Francisco, CA 95l02. The national CiP office is at 525 13th St NW Washington D.C. 2000^, or write me for more information. This article represents only the opinions of the author, and does not necessarily reflect the views of RFD or any of its staff.

drawings by Jamal

Milo Guthrie Rt. 1, Box 98a Gassaway, TN 37095

When Frank asked me to write this article# I got very excited- a sense of being able to share my urgency and concern about food with a group of folks I care about and respect. I t ’s a wonder to me that straight folks can believe (and worse yet promulgate) that us gay folks are primarily con cerned about getting it on sexually. The patri archy in its need to separate, quantify and label, has given us shallow roots indeed in which to tap the mother and be nourished. There’s a desire in me to write a lengthy pas sionate cry about this food chain jigsaw puzzle that is almost completed before me. But I*d rather do a Hnew age book report” , and hopefully inspire you to search out these resources and work to your own conclusions. In describing our food cah in, I reminisce about high school biology and how no connection was ever made between nature and human society. Not un til college ecology did those first few tentative connections begin to get made. Sad...and partly why its so hard to relate and encourage others to relate to the fact that the food chain is the most concrete way possible- links all life together on the planet. Easically a food chain is a system of one life form eating another, where all the inputs and outputs con tinually strive for an equilibrium. With the advent of "modern" technological agribusiness, we have been doing our damnest to pervert that balance in order to make money and be "comfortable". The story of how this has happened in America is eloquently written by Wendell Berry in The Unsettling of America/Culture and Agriculture (Avon). The basic premise is that the ecological crisis is a crisis of character. 74

The article that prompted my sharing with Frank**Plant Patenting** (in the Winter 79/80 Coevolution Quarterly) specifically deals with the big business compromising genetic diversity to make a buck. In the article the question is posed* how serious is the seed situation? Part of the answer lies in a quoted warning from the National Academy of Sciences* " most crops are impressively uniform genetically and impressively vulner able** to disease. The most endangered crop is wheat... the article goes on to show how old# family owned seed businesses are being bought up by large multinational chemical and drug firms resulting in a link between the marketing of seeds and agricultural chemicals. In my work as produce manager at Sevananda Natural Foods (a co-op in Atlanta), I have had the **good fortune** to observe that part of agribusiness that concerns itself with marketing. This is the system that gets food from the farmer to the consumer. Last September I went to Cal ifornia and spent several days with Sunburst# a spiritual community in Santa Barbara. I walked in their avocado orchards, helped pick butternut squash# rode on their semi# visited the warehouse, spoke with many sales people, and got an overall sense of a viable alternative marketing system. Standing out in sharp contrast is the Atlanta Far m e r ’s Market, a huge sprawling early morning hubbub of food and money rapidly exchanged between primarily white male hands. Products from Chile, women called girls and black men being called boys— it is the patriarchy’s system, and completely oil dependent. The plethora of middle men, standard buses and big semis give testimony to a system well entrenched. The system’s ubiquitous next step is the supermarket. In the March 1980 issue of The Progressive, Daniel Zwerdlig has researched and written an article called **The Food Mon sters*** How they gobble up each other- and us.** He has put together a totally overwhelming indictment of the huge food processors and their empires built upon advertising and cor porate merger. His information and analysis has filled in a critical gap in my awareness and understanding of the cap italistic-run food chain,

As I cleaned out my desk at work, I found some pamphlets done by the Agricultural Marketing Project, Center for Health Services, Station 17 Vanderbilt Medical Center, Nashville, TN. 37232. In looking through their samples, I*ve found in formation on seeds, advertising, brand name vegetables, and family farmers. Although I haven't read through them all yet, they feel like an excellent tool to organize arounid. (P.S. proofreading this a week lateri I read them and they are excellent, concise and unsettling.). The next book I want to reccommend is a hefty tome that is a collection of essays on the topics land and culture, ag riculture and agribusiness, rural struggles and alternatives, cities and farms, and food energy and the new renaissaance in Radical Agriculture, edited by Richard Merrill (Harper). This is a big picture resource- thorough and empowering. Speaking of empowering, the last three resources I'd like to reccommend will hopefully serve as beacons or paths to en able us to reclaim our ancient bonds with the Mother and par ticipate in the food chain in such a way as to not disrupt the natural balance but rather strive to relate harmoniously. The National Center for Appropriate Technology, P.0. Box 3838 Butte, Montana 59701 recently sponsored a conference in Nash ville, TN. called Building Cooperative Networks 1 a conference on direct marketing and information services. By writing them you may be able to get a copy of the proceedings which are be ginning the process of laying an alternative marketing network in the Southeast (which may ultimatly tie in with similar ef forts throughout the continent). The And/Or Press in Berkeley has published a beautiful book called the Whole Foods Natural Foods Guidet What happens to natural food products from farmer to consumer. It is com piled from the pages of Whole Foods magazine and contains ten sections 1 from the ground up; rules and regulations; snacks and swee.ts; grains and beans; soyfoods; herbs; cosmetics; edible oils; made-up foods and natural foods as a business. It serves as a modest encycopedia of the natural foods food chain. ne-

The last book I want to share with you is my fav orites it is at once the simplest and most profound, the most natural yet radical proposal. Written by Masanobu Fukuoka, translated as a communal effort by his student workers on the mountain in Japan, The One Straw Rev olution is published by Rodale press, and has changed my outlook on faring: It is an introduction to natural farming, assumes that we know nothing and that we can best farm by following nature through direct experience and intuition. The four principles this "system" is founded on are: no cultivation, no chemical fertilizer or prepared compost, no weeding by tillage or herbicides, and no dependence on chemicals. Of course it works! D o e s n ’t nautre "work”? Can we really be so arrogant that we believe that through a sys tem of farming invented by humans we can improve upon nature? It shakes me to the bone. My own arrogance and ignorance stand laughing before me. I have more to unlearn than to learn. Join me my fellow gentle adventurers, and let us approach the Mother more humbly, more as children, open to a mystery as beautiful as it is awesome. Thanks for listening.

ecause of the r e la tiv e ly p o sitiv e response to my a r tic le in the winter 1979 issu e of RFC, I ’m w riting th is follow up in order to provide in terested persons with the informa tion most frequently requested in the lt te r s being sent to me. Peonle want to know what they can do to support my e f fo rts to'retu rn to Washington sta te where my lo ver, fam ily and community are located . Some folk s are in terested in knowing a l i t t l e something about my personal background as w ell. There is a lo t of work to be done building a network of committees that can not only a s s is t in securing my re turn to Washington, but also support gay prisoners in gen eral and to conduct education on the cla ss nature of U.S. prisons and the d estru ctive e ffe c ts they have on a l l p ri soners .

brothers behind bars

First of all, for those who are interested, I am a licensed aircraft mechanic from Fiarbanks, Alaska, who became politi cized in the late 6 0 ’s and early 70’s while serving time at the United States Pennitertiary at McNeil Island, Washington.

When released from Leavenworth in 72, where I had been trans ferred to for being a -trouble maker**, I returned to 'Washing ton and did orisoner organizing and support work- bu ild in g the Prisoners Union there, doing A ttica Brothers le g a l defense work in 3u ffalo and S e a ttle , putting out a prisoner oriented newsoarer etc. In 1975 I helped to build the underground George jacksor. Brigade in S e a ttle . A fter a se r ie s o f bombing attacks on various symbols of oppression, I was arrested in the pro cess of attem pting to expropriate $45,000 from a bank. There was a shoot-out in which one of my comrades was k ille d and another wounded. I am now serving two l i f e sentences as a re s u lt of being convicted on two counts of f ir s t degree a ssa u lt on p o lice o ffic e r s during the course of the gun b a ttlee. I had started the process of coming out in 1975* although I ’m s t i l l in the process of d efin in g my se x u a lity . My f ir s t seriou s homosexual rela tio n sh ip was when I was 14 years old , with a boy in the neighborhood and I ’ve been gay ever sin ce— notw ithstanding the fact that I tried to suppress th is aspect of m yself for a long tim e. I am a M arxist, non-dogmatic and no associated with any party. I come from a working cla ss background, am 39 years of age, and have a high school education. When I was sen t to Walla Walla there were gang rapes o f gay p r i soners and the ooen b u llyin g and s e llin g of gays. I helped to organize Men Against Sexism in that in s titu tio n and with the help of the gay community both in sid e and out, was able to re duce the homophobia there. Because of an escape attem pt, my work with M .A .S., my being an outspoken c r it ic of ad m inistrative p o lic ie s , and my having file d prisoners rig h ts lit ig a t io n in the cou rts, I was in volu n tarily transferred to the U.S. prison at Marion, I llin o is . Four months la te r the feds told the sta te to :ome and get me, that they did not wart me at Marion anymore. I was shipped to th prison at Leavenworth where I was held in what amounts to incommunicado detention for four more months, while Washington o f f ic ia ls looked for another ju r isd ic tio n w il lin g to accept me. They found one— Tennessee. Now I am tryin g to force the sta te to return me to my comrades and the ongoing stru ggle a t Walla Walla. I t is in th is e ffo r t that I am seeking help from people on the ou tsid e. What I want to do is to d iscu ss with folk s out there some of the s p e c ific ways in which th eir d esire to aipport me can be tran slated in to some of what needs to be done. I ’dMke in terested people to s e le c t an area (s) and communicate with me on how we might make grow from a hope to a r e a lity . My object is to create a network of committees in various c it ie s that together can apply s u ffic ie n t pressure on the governors of Washington and Tennessee to order my return to Walla Walla. F ir st of a ll there is a law s u it , a habeas corpus p e titio n , I file d in the United S ta tes D is tr ic t Court for the Eastern D is tr ic t of Tennessee at K noxville. I t ra ises fiv e grounds for holding that my tran sfer from Walla Walla to 3rushy Moun tain Prison was u n con stitu tion a l. I f there are le g a l minded 78

Secondly, I want to make, d u p lica te, and d istrib u te (to se le c tiv e a lte r n a tiv e radio sta tio n s) c a sse tte tapes dealing with my s i t u ation, the sta tu s of the twenty-two other e x ile s , the ongoing segregation stru g gle at Walla W alla, and the p lig h t of prisoners in general. I ju st made a s ix ty minute tape on the " P o litics of Grime" (A c la ss a n a ly sis of crime and a community approach toward it s r e c t if ic a t io n ) , for example, but lack the means to do anything w ith i t . There is a need for fundraising too. I have 600 "Free The Dragons" p osters that were printed and donated by rad ical fag got labor. These p osters a ren 't top q u ality or c o lle c to r 's i tems, but they w ill be good for fund ra isin g purposes. Some other frien d s are in the process of p rin tin g what should be about a 65-page pamphlet I wrote ("The Theory and P ractice of Armed Struggle In the Northwest"). ?50 copies of th is docu ment are being donated to the stru ggle of Walla Walla prisoners for fund r a isin g purposes. The pamphlet should be done some time in mid- March. Moreover, the P o litic s of Crime paper could be made in to a fundraising pamphlet as w ell. Money could be raised by b en efits and other tra d itio n s means too. I helped to r a ise a lo t o f money for the A ttica Brothers Legal Defense e ffo r t w hile on the s tr e e ts and know th is area of work is a l ways a needed one. A n atio n a l p e titio n drive could be in itia te d that was aimed at pressuring the offending governors to ’"eturn the e x ile s . The proposed committees in various c it ie s -could insure that the p e titio n s were circu la ted in places frequented by le sb ia n /g a y s/ progressive peoples. The p e titio n would a lso serve to educate ohe concerned elem ents of the public around th is issu e. A le t te r w ritin g campaign could be organized and launced, as could a campaign o f phone c a lls to targeted sta te o f f i c i a l s , and the a p p lica tio n of in flu en ce from the more "re spected" elem ents of lo c a l and n ation al gay lead ership . Any form of p ro test along these lin e s would be h elp fu l. I want to get an a n t i- s e x is t /r a c is t n ew sletter o ff the groundone with a sm all but in flu e n tia l c ircu la tio n both in sid e and out. The n ew sletter (about 200 copies per is s u e ), p e ttio n s, le a f le t s , etc . need to be p rinted. People should be w illin g to do m ailin gs. Speaking engagements could be organized. And so on So you see there is much work to be done, just with respect to my situation alne. This work needs to be expanded to in clude lesbian and gay prisoners, and then prisoners in gen eral. What I want to correspond with folks about is how we can best determine which areas of activity are key and how the work can best be done. My thinking is that if people in dif ferent localities do a little, we can get it all done. At present all of this is nothing but one huge hope. But the po tential for making it a reality clearly exists. Anyway, talk this proposal over with some friends and let me know if you and yours would be willing to take some responsibility for some area of practical work. About all I can do is to make my needs known to the community which is what I've tried to accomplish here.

Now I need some feedback from folk s ouc there in mininun cus tody. Write and le t me know how you fe e l about the contents of th is paper. And thanks for reading th is far.

brothers behind bars

people who are in terested in doing some work around the law s u it I can send then copies of the complain and supporting b r ie f I wrote. I do not have a lawyer a s s is tin g me on th is case and need whatever help I can get in th is resp ect.

Letters from Prison RFD: Thought I'd better write and let you know what happened at my parole hearing. I go free/on parole December 1980. I will contact you three or four months ahead of time so you can stop mailing my copy of RFD here. As soon as I get settled on the outside I'm going to order a subscription to RFD because I enjoy reading it. I just got RFD #22 (Winter 79). I haven't finished reading it yet, but David Frey's "Iowa Farmboy" story (page 8-9) is very good. So are the pic tures and drawings in that issue. And I also noticed that you'd printed my letter— thanks. Hello to everyone and thanks for everything. Peace/Love, Jim Champ P.0. Box B 28426 Represa, California

95671

Gay prisoner, 22 years old, Libra, 6'4", 197 pounds, brown eyes, light brown hair, attractive, masculine, active. Into weightlifing, boxing, reading, music. Write to me!! TERRY STRYKER, #90478, BOX 97, McALESTER, OKLA. 74501

Dear Gaily: Check this out— here's a new twist for you! As of today (December 30, 1979), Men Against Sexism (Editors' Note: see RFD #22, pp. 20-21) is no longer in existence. We've been closed down by our keepers. Ed Mead was shipped out to Tennessee; I'm next probably. Oh well, what the hell. But it's hard to deal with this and I'm really about to blow it. I just got RFD #22 today after going clean off and being beat up. it right now. Thank you.

But I have

I got this feeling of fear abou their next plan. They would like to see Star dead. How the cross will come I know not, and it's freaky. So...I might just make your centerfold.

Ha!

That would be live (smile).

Well, there's not a hell of a lot going on here. There are no queens or any body around me now cause I'm in the Hole for God knows how long. So feel free to write me. I could dig that. Yours, Star L. Star Carter, #626293 P.0. Box 520 Walla Walla, Washington

973^2

Lonely inmate, 27 years old, desires to correspond with interesting and sincere people (regardless of age, color, religion, or background) who know and understand the real meaning of loneliness. Will answer all letters promptly. Write to: Kirk Ballard, #152-909Âť 15^02 State Rte. 10*4-, Box 5500, Chillicothe, Ohio *4-5601.

I'm Black, 26 years old, 5'11" tall, have brown eyes and black hair, and am presently incarcerated. I will be released next year. I attend college, enjoy reading, writing, chess, and most sports, but above all would like to correspond with someone who is sincere and honest (no mind games please). I just want to love someone and have them love me in return. I don't have any family and I enjoy gay relationships. Write soon, anyone. Earl Johnson, C-72283 P.0. Box 87 Menard, Illinois 62259

33-year-old white gay male inmate seeks correspondence. Will be released from prison in March 1981 and will need a place to live. I am looking forward to a sincere gay love relationship. Please write today: Walter Walters, #12880, N.N.G.G., P . 0 . Box 607, Carson City, Nevada 89701.

I really enjoyed reading HFD and would like to ask your readers for help because I am very lonely. I'm a prisoner at the Louisiana State Penitentiary. I was picked up in New Orleans in 1969* I was 17 years old and was sentenced to prison to serve 150 years. When I was sentenced my parents disowned me so I have no one to write to and no one visits me. I long to write to anyone who would like to write to a gay prisoner. I want to be loved and to love in return. We all need love, especially a prisoner who has nothin' and no one. No one has ever loved me. My parents showed no love at all. Being a prisoner is a real lonely life and I'm tired of being lonely. I am writing to ask if someone could write me and maybe come to love me. I am 5 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10jN tall, weigh a fair complexion.

155

pounds, have hazel eyes and dirty blond hair and

I look forward to some letters in reply. Very sincerely, David Johnson PMB #8*4-970 GBB Angola, Louisiana

70712

he would be too dazzled to make out the objects whose shadows he had been used to see. What do you think he would say, if someone had told him that what he had formerly seen was meaningless illusion, but now, being somewhat nearer to reality and turned toward more real objects, he was getting a truer view? "And if he were forced to look at the firelight itself, would not his eyes ache, so that he would try to escape and turn back to the things which he could see distinctly, convinced that they really were clearer than those other objects now being shown him? "Yes. And suppose someone wer9 to drag him away forcibly up the steep and rugged ascent and not let him go until he had hauled him into the 3unlignt, would he sot suffar pain and vexation at such treatment? And, when he had come out into the light, find his eyes so full of radiance that he could not see a single one of the things that he was now told were real? "Certainly he would not see them all at once. "He would need then, to grow accustomed before he could see things in that jpper world. At first it would be easier to make out shadows, and then the Images of men and things reflected in the water, and later on the things themselves. After that, it would be easier to watch the heavenly bodies and the sky itself at night, looking at the light of the moon and stars rather than the Sun and the Sun's light in the daytime. "Yes, surely. Last of all, he would be able to look at the Sun and contemplate Its nature, not as it appears when reflected in water or any alien medium, but as It is in itself in its own domain. "No doubt. "And now he would begin to draw the conclusion that It is the Sun that produces the seasons and the course of the year and controls everyÂ thing in the visible world, and moreover is in a way the causa of all that he and his companions jsed to see. "Clearly he would come at last to that conclusion. "It is for us then, as founders of a commonwealth, to bring comÂ pulsion to bear on the noblest natures. They must be made to climb the ascent to the vision of goodness, which we called the highest object of knowledge; snd, when they have looked upon it long enough, they must not be allowed, as they are now, to remain on the heights, refusing to come down again to the prisoners or to take any part in their labors or rewards.... "You must go down then, each in his turn, to live with the rest and let your eyes grow accustomed to the darkness. You will then see a thousand times better than those who live there always; you will recogÂ nize ever/ object for what it is and know what it represent*; because /ou ha.'e seen justice, beauty and goodness in their reality; and so you and we shall find life in our commonwealth no mere dream, as it is in most existinq states, where men live fighting one another about shadows and quarrelling for power, as if that were a great prize." - from Plato's "Republic"