RFD Issue 32 Fall 1982 by RFD Magazine Gay

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~ Jle In s id e Sto ry It is lightly raining this morning, and there is a quiet calm settling over the household as we wrap up the finishing touches of this issue. We have enjoyed quite a bit of wonderful creative energy from some new friends as well as from some familiar ones here at Running Water. Many issues have been left to just three of us to lay up by ourselves, but this one has benefited from the input of a number of experienced and talented helpers. We are immensely grateful, and I believe the issue reflects that as sistance. We went for several weeks with around 8 people here on an average, but now we are back to three. The quiet affords us time to relish many happy memories. We are very happy to report that it looks like we will be staying at Running Water due to the generous commitments of a number of friends and associates. We have raised the needed funds in pledges to buy the shares which were up for sale. Our good friend, Carl Hunt is focalizing this effort for us, and if anyone is interested in investing is Stepping Stone (the corporation which was set up to own the land) by buying a share, please contact him at 156 Ninth Ave., New York, NY 10011. Shares are $100 each and repre sent the approximate value of the land plus some capital improve ments we are planning on making. There will be a stockholders meeting in early October to work out by-laws and other details as well as celebrating a bit.

FUTURE FEATURES AND THEMES:

Winter 1982/3 Issue #33 Self Sufficiencv This feature will be focused by a friend in Vermont. We hope he musters help from others in the area. Spring 1983 Issue #34 Communities This feature will be focused again by the same wonderful folks who brought us this feature from Atlanta. They want examples and experiences of all kinds of communities, collectives and any other kind of support network, rural or urban. If you have something to share dealing with these themes, please send it to us for con sideration. $> DEPARTMENT EDITORS:

We have processed quite a lot with the BBB Dept., and we feel that we are settling down to a better focused and controlled effort. It is an interesting effort to try to develop a policy with eight others all over the country through the mails as well as with our usual ad hoc circles here. We are also finally getting some of the copious data assembled to begin reporting on the Reader Sur vey (see page 8ff). We very much appreciate hearing what you want in and hcxw you feel about RFD. It may take us a little time to appear responsive to many suggestions, but we are and have some direction to work toward. I suspect that many readers do not fully realize that RFD is such a low budget loose knit cooperative ef fort that it is. It is a completely VOLUNTEER effort with some 21 editors all over the country contributing their time and ta lents, various groups getting together to produce a feature, many readers and friends contributing their writings, drawings and photos, as well as our efforts here to coordinate this sometimes bewildering enterprise. So, if we are a bit unresponsive immed iately, please bear with us. We are trying. We are reading in the surveys a lot of what readers want in the issue. Much is not new, but some is. We have a problem solici ting material since we can't afford to pay for it. We realize that there is often an unbalanced viewpoint (i.e. unrepresenta tive of ALL the readers) in RFD, but we are limited to publishing what we receive. Much of what is not in the issue is because we never receive anything along those lines. We are completely at the mercy of the generosity of the articulate. There seems to be a problem finding groups who will do a feature. Many seem to think that it requires a collective to do one; it doesn't. It does take more than one or two people working to gether because there is a fair amount of effort involved. We were hoping that by opening up the "floating" feature to different groups, we would develop some exposure of different regions. We remain open to that concept and would encourage folks to brag about their area. A number of themes have been suggested for future issues such as Ageism, Bisexuality, Masculinity, Small town living, Naturalism, Women, and Regional resources and support networks. Ring any bells? We always need publicity and exposure to new folks, so if any of you can help with that we would be most grateful. It is diffi cult for us to increase our subscriptions without your helo. Have a colorful fall!

Announcements: M. Waycaster, CA Book Revies: Kevin Cox, CA Bros. Behind Bars: L. Richardson B Coast N: Richard Crooks, NY B Coast S: Woody Black, W) Cen. Sts N: Bill Murphy, WI Cen. Sts S: Travis Bacon, TX Gulf Sts: J. Napolitano, LA Mountain Sts: Tom Doyle, CO Pacific NW: Len Richardson, OR Calif/Nev: David Frey, CA Contact Letters: G. Wilson, W Fiction: Chip Moore, NC Gardening: Mark Senjarain, CA Gath., Ntwk. & Com: D. Graves,PA Health: Jerry Stamps, AR Homesteading: J. Noakes, TN Kitchen Queen: A1 Maupin, TN Poetry: Aurora Corona, LA Politics: Edwin Bridges, NC Profiles: Ron Whittom, MD Spirituality: Crit Goin, CA

RFD is published quarterly in March, June, September and December at Rt 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705. ISSN #0149-709X US PS #073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a func tion of Gay Community Social Services, Seattle, WA. RFD functions as a reader writ ten journal. Editorship re sponsibility is shared among several individuals in various locations coordinated by the collective. The business and general production is centered at Running Water, Route 1, Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705.

CONTRIBUTORS: Franklin Abbott............ 32 John Alexander............. 10 David Bassett.............. 33 Master Bater............... 39 Benjamin................... 44 Chris Beyer................ 42 Woody Black...... 16 Blue Ja y ................... 56 Jim Brewer J r .............. 20 Edwin Bridges............7,51 Stevie Bryant.............. 55 Greg Caffey.............. 4,12 Terry Cavanagh............. 56 Max Clore...20,30,31,35,37,40 Arnold Cornbelt............ 62 Aurora Corona.............. 40 Kevin Cox ................. 54 Gary Czerwinski............ 22 DBNIxo............... 2,7,9,35 Donny the Punk............. 13 Vincent Fitzpatrick........21 Dave Fosdahl............... 52 Eric Gabriel............... 13 Kenneth Hale............... 54 Heartsinger................ 48 Gibson Higgins.......... 20,36 Gary Kaupman............... 24 Jamie Kleinbaum............ 22 Randy Krahn............. ...11 Ron Lambe................... 3 Lawrence Librich........... 13 Life....................... 54 Alejandro Lopez......... 52,53 Gene Loring................ 28 Juan Martinez...........34,47 Steven Masterson...... .....20 MAWA Prod........ Front Cover Bill Meneely......26,27,32,33 Sr. Merry Media............ 41 S. D. Mickley.............. 25 Calvin Owens...24,28,30,32,35 Pan Z ................15,21 ,47 Paul Payton................ 22 Raven.......... 15,24 thru 45 Len Richardson............. 13 Joey Romana................ 21 Don Roy.................... 21 Ed Sant aV icca.............. 21 Glenn Sheldon.............. 20 Wayne Sizemore .23,40,42,43 ,46 Snowflake.................. 45 Joey Spak.................. 22 Jerry Stamps................ 6 Randy Taylor ....25,Back Cover Ivor Treby................. 20 Wain Vincent............41,45 Wildflower.............. .21 Darrell Wood............... 22

A COUNTRY JOURNAL FOR GAY MFN EVFRYWIIFRE

32 RRPTUOIJS

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ADVERT IS ING......................................... 56,62-64 ANNOUNCEMENTS...................................... 4,5,13,50 ARTICLES................................................ 7-9 "Best of the Reader Survey" by DENIxo.............. .....9 "Readers Finally Delineated" by E. Bridges & DENIxo..... 7 ARTS................................................... . "The Music in My Life: Chamber Music" by Heartsinger ....48 BOOK REVIEWS...................................2,16-19,54-56 'The Age Taboo" ed. D. Tsang by Stevie Bryant.......... 55 "Boys Speak Out on Man/Boy Love" -NAMBLA by S. Bryant...55 "Coining Out"-Chuck Hall by DENIxo........................ 2 "Embracing the Exile"-John Fortunato by Blue Ja y....... 56 "Jack and Jim"-Jira Brogan by TerryCavanagh.............. 56 "Male Rape"-ed . A. Sacco by Woody Black.................. 16 New Titles by Kevin C o x ............. ................... 54 "Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture"-Evans by Life...54 BROTHERS BEHIND BARS.................................. . Contact Listings......................................... 14 "NW Prison Projects" by Len Richardson.................. 13 "Reaching Punks" by Donny the Punk................... ...13 "Something in Common" by Lawrence Librich...............13 CONTACT LETTERS........................................ 57-61 FEATURE................................................ 23-46 Dialogue on Eroticism by the Atlanta Collective.26 thru 43 EROTICA: "Er ot icisra" (26 ); "Typically Erotic Moment s"( 27 ); "Well, Just What is Erotic?”(24); Poem(25)..24-27 FANTASY: "Ritual: Death-Birth Celebration"(29); "Sexual Etiquette For Our Times"(31); "Signals'^ 30).28-31 FOREPLAY: "Sensuous Herbs on Your Window"(34); "To Try to Make Love"(32); "Washroom Romance"(35)......32-35 ORGASM: "Love for a Man"(36); "Saving Seed"(39).....36-39 AFTERGLOW: "Banishment of Guilt"(41 ); "Dream #39"(45); "Indefinate Pleasure"(45); "Jonathan & David"(42); "Love Song" (45); "The Male Sex Machine"(41).40-45 FICTION.......................................... 10-12,15,47 "Doing IT" by Pan ....................................... 47 "Out on the Town" by John Alexander.................. ...10 "A Sexual Encounter" by Pan ............................. 15 ..................................................................................................... 6 HEALTH.................................... . ..6 'The Apothecary" by Jerry Stamps........ . .62 HUMOR..................................... < .62 "Divine Knowledge" by Arnold Cornbelt---.51 KITCHEN QUEEN............................. .51 "Much Ado About Monarda" by Edwin Bridges .2 LETTERS TO RFD............................

PRODUCTION Atlanta: Running Water Max Clore Edwin Bridges Gary Kaupman DENIxo Juan Martinez Eric Gabriel Bill Meneely Kenneth Hale Calvin Owens Ron Lambe Raven Foxy Wabbit Wayne Sizemore Carl Swierczak Randy Taylor Wain Vincent

POETRY. ............................... .......2 0 - 2 2 , 2 5 , 3 5 , 3 6 , 4 2 , 4 5

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Poems by: C. Beyer(42); J. Brewer(20); M. Clore(20); G. Czerwinski(22); DENIxo(35); V. Fitzpatrick(21) ; G. Higg ins(20,36); J. Kleinbaum(22 ); S. Masterson(20); Sr. Merry Media(41); S. Mickley(25); Pan Z.(21); P. Payton (22); J. Romana(21); D. Roy(21); E. SantaVicca(21); G. Sheldon(20); Snowflake(45); J. Spak(22); I. Treby(20); W. Vincent (41,45); Wildflower (21); D. Woods(22) PROFILES AND INTERVIEWS................................ 52-53 "Finding Myself" by Dave Fosdahl.........................52 RFD INFORMATION............................ 3. Inside Covers "Where to Get It" by Ron Lambe........................... 3

Dear Brothers,

Thank you fo r your letter concerning my article on 'The Art of Astral Projection " in RFD #28. Fall 1981. In my article there are a few editor ial errors I wish to clear up. The first error is in the second column first paragraph. It reads about various methods used in astral pro jection, but fails to mention tne "Segment Process," which the article goes into detail on further on. The reason the article goes into detail about the segment process, is be cause I have found this to be the most successful method in astral pro jection. The major error is in the second co lumn, second paragraph. The error reads, "Tighten up every muscle in your body and hold your body and...." It should read, "Tighten up every muscle in your body and hold for ap proximately 15 to 20 seconds* then relax, concentrate all of your thoughts...."

Have any of you read the recent ar ticle by and interview with Robert Bly ? "The Swan, The Witch, and the Middle Class" appeared in The Sun, July 1982. "What Men Really Want" was in New Age, May 1982.

RFD Readers, I want to scream and shout and bounce around and say that it has taken me 3*5 years to come up with this word ing that I feel accurately describes 'gay' and 'straight' sexualities as I see them. Being 'straight' or exclusively heterosexual means being unable to express love sexually with members of one's own sex. Being 'gay' or 'lesbian' or exclu sively homosexual means being unable to express love sexually with members of the opposite sex. With all that said and done I can say: I am 'GAY.'

Derhaps with the last error correct ed you will find astral projection much easier. Feel free to contact me if you have any further questions. Just remember, if it does not work right away for you, do not give up it may take a while, but it does work. Ad astra.

There you have it. Three sentences from my journal, page 365. I am so eager to share these words with RFD readers.

In Peace. Love, and Light,

P.S. I'd like to give I.M. Poustinik a nice, warm, friendly pat on his bare butt. I open my dictionary at random and my eye immediately meets the word 'lust.'

Tim Leahy P0 Box 63 McHenry, IL

60050

Royal Blue P.0. Box 23115 Seattle, WA 98102

A friend gave one of them to me and a chance meeting on a dark and wet golf course with a very special man turned me on to the other one. Bly covers lots of ground in these, but his main thrust is around owning the basic deep strong male energy that we all have without giving up the female stuff that most of us have put a fair amount of work into allow ing ourselves. Strong stuff and more than a little scary. I shared these with some friends and we have decided to form a group to discuss this and see if we can bring some of our feelings up into consci ousness. We plan on taping our discussion. We'd like to trade tapes of our dis cussion with you for tapes of your feelings and discussions on this. If any of this touches as important a place in you as it does in us, drop me a note and let's share some of what we are touching. If you are interested and don't have access to the articles let me know and I'll be happy to send you copies. Gary Kaupman 519 St Charles Ave Atlanta, GA. 30308

Coming Out by Chuck. Hall (Vantage Tress) What a book! An enlightening, entertaining 'subversive coffee-table book'. Thru stick figures which magically portray an astounding variety of emotions and a written line or two per page, complex things like homo- and hetero-phobia, sex and much more are illustrated and explained with great humour and sensitivity and astonishing simplicity. Really, quite a tour-de-force in communication. My favourite ploy was to leave this out for many different people to read. It all makes so much sense, few find themselves disagreeing with it!--Certainly, all laughing and finding insight. A good book for all to feel good about their loving sexual feelings and being human. Coming Out gives loving, supportive energy to the emerging butterfly in us all in a truly delightful way! Available thru the courtesy of Crazy Owl--author, a.k.a. Chuck Hall, Ph.D, in a hardcover form, Coming Out can be order ed thru RFD for $3.50 (includes postage and handling). Half the profit goes to RFD. Thanks Crazy Owl!

to oet rt Here is a list of the bookstores which carry RFI). There have been others from time to time, and we are always looking for more outlets. If you d o n ’t see your favorite bookstore listed and you think RFD might sell there, please let us know or ask the folks at the store to con sider carrying R F D . Our policy is to bill at 40% off the cover price; full credit for c o m plete copies returned; 90 days billing; and, we pay postage to them - they pay postage to

us. We very much appreciate the following bookstores carrying RFD and would ask readers to patro nize these establishments if possible. Let's help those who help us.

ALABAMA Huntsville: Books as Seeds 200^ Andrew Jackson ARKANSAS Eureka Springs: Gazebo Books 86 Spr ing S t . CALIFORNIA Berkeley: The Old Mole 1942 University Ave. Garberville: Orange Cat Goes to Market 422 Church St. Hoi1ywood: A Different Light 4014 Santa Monica Blvd. P t . Reyes Station: P t . Reyes Bookstore State Rt. 1 San Francisco: -Bound Together Book Coll. 1901 Hayes St. -Modern Tiroes Bookstore 968 Valencia St. -Small Press Traffic 3841-B 24th St. Santa C r u z : Bookshop Santa Cruz 1547 Pacific Ave. W i n dsor: Sandy Lowe Box 408 (95492) COLORADO Denver: Category Six Books 909 East Colfax Ave. DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington: Lambda Rising 2012 "S" St. NW GEORGIA Atlan ta : -Charis Books & More 4 19 Moreland Ave. NF. -Christopher's Kind (moving) -Music City Ansley Mall -Pershing P t . News Center 1398 Peachtree St. NW

ILLINOIS Chicago: -Heartland Cafe 7000 N. Glenwood -Unabridged Books 3251 N. Braodway INDIANA F t . Wayne: Rainbows of Life 303 W. Jefferson LOUISIANA New Orleans: LaSIS PO Box 51012 (70151) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst : Food for Thought 67 N. Pleasant St. MISSOURI Kansas City: New Earth Books 2 W. 39th St. S t . Louis: Left Bank Books 399 N. Euclid NEW YORK It h a c a : Borealis Bookstore 416 Eddy S t . New York: Oscar Wilde Mem. Bookshop 15 Christopher St. NORTH CAROLINA Asheville: -Malaprop’s Bookstore 61 Haywood S t . -My Sister’s Kitchen 76 Havwood S t . Char lot t o : Friends of Dorothy Bkstore 331 East Blvd. #3 Dur h a m : -42nd S t . Bar -Regulator Bookshop 720 9th St. OHIO Yellow Springs: Epic Bookshop 232 Xenia Ave. OREGON Corvallis: Grass Roots 227 S W 2nd

Eugene: Son of Koobdooga 651 F. 13th PENNSYLVANIA Ph ilade lph ia : Giovanni's Room 34 55 12th St. TENNESSEE Nashvi1le: Womenki nd 2 015-B Belmont TEXAS Aust i n : -Celebrat ion t P0 Box 13504 (78711) -Cochr ans 2302 Guadalupe Houston: Wilde 'n ' Stein 802 Westheimer VERMONT Bur 1ington: The Book Stacks Inc. 118 Pine S t . WASH fNGTON Seat 11e : -A Different Drummer 420 Broadway East -Left Bank 92 Pike St. -Red & Black Books 524 15th Ave. E. CANADA Montreal: Androgyny Bookshop 3642 St. Lawrence Blvd. ENGLAND London: Houseman's Bookshop 5 Caledonian Rd., K i n g ’s X York: York Community Bookshop 73 Walmgate TIE NETHERLANDS Amsterdam: Uitgeverij en Boekhandel Van Gennep bv WEST GERMANY Be r 1 i n : Prinz Eisenherz Buchladen Btf lowstr . 17 ^

WINTER SOLSTICE "Pajama Party*1 Plans are being developed now for this elegant fete. Alga Rita (Austin Faeries) invites all brothers from MO, K S , TX, AR, OK and the other 45 altered states to write for a free c a talogue and color brochure. Alga Rita, PO Box 1391 San Marcos, TX 78666

North Crow Vacation Ranch Celebrate your vacation at North Crow Ranch! Montana’s unique North Crow Ranch has a new social alternative for their gay guests. There will be a week long gather ing for gay men, October 10-17, planned by the co-womanagers. In contrast to other more expensive resort businesses, North Crow Ranch is "Wild West" rustic style. Nature is definitely the star here. The Ranch is nestled in the foothills of the Mission Mountains. Activities are plen tiful, but you set your own pace. You may choose from a spectrum of horseback riding and fishing to dancing and soaking in a hot tub.

celebra a- tlOl ‘n g a t h f i T>in 0s

CELEBRATION of LIGHT A CONSCIOUSNESS FESTIVAL

SHORT MOUNTAIN PRE-HALLOWEEN COR PORATE MEETING & COSTUME CRITIQUE Worried that your Haloween Cost ume won't be up to snuff ? Come to our new moon dress rehearsal Saturday, October 16th and Sun day the 17th. Bring your own spirits. (This is serious.) Short Mountain Sanctuary Route 1, Box 98A Liberty, TN 37095

The food is reasonable, and home made, such as garden vegtables & fresh baked bread. You may make your home with companions in one of three teepees, or bring your own tent and choose a private campsite. If you want to know more, send SASE to: North Crow Vacation Ranch, R.R.l, Box 62-A, Ronan, Mt. 59864, or call (406) 676-5169

workshops

"New Orleans is preparing to take a major step toward promoting peaceful co-existence, love and human unity between people of diverse interests and backgrounds. On October 9-10, 1982, local res idents are staging an outdoor festival, to be called the Cele bration of Light, a Conscious ness Festival. The festival will feature guest speakers, workshops of current interest, musical groups, dancing, food, crafts & activities for children. There will be a central booth where participating groups can hand out literature and sell educat ional materials for their organ izations. The purpose of this event is to connect the various groups in the area who are work- i ing for personal and/or social growth and transformation, and is open to participation by all groups seriously pursuing these aims. A crowd of over 5000 peo ple is anticipated. For more information contact New Real ities, Inc., P.O.Box 30188, New Orleans, La. 70190 or call July at (504) 821-2933." "A Non-Profit Organization"

“SURVIVAL SKILLS" "Survival Skills Training"--which conducted a regional training con ference in Madison, Wisconsin ear lier this year--has scheduled weekend training workshops for lesbian/gay leaders and volunteers in four cities this Fall. The Fall trainings are the result of that growing interest in training that the Survival Skills SDokespeople describe as "making gay/lesbian organizations as expert as their op position." The training will cover four basic skills: fundraising, volunteer/member development, use of the media, and organizational plan ning. Each of the four scheduled Survival Skills training workshops are being co-sponsored by gay/lesbian organi zations this Fall:

Washington, DC (September 24-26) Chicago, Illinois (October 1-3) Seattle, Washington (October 15-17) Grand Rapids, Michigan (November 12 14) The traininq in each city will begin on Friday evening and will end on Sunday afternoon, and according to a Survival Skills announcement, there will be a $75 per participant fee which must be pre-reqistered. In terested lesbian/gay leaders can contact Survival Skills for more information by writing to 4877 East Clayton Road. Madison, WI 53711 or' callinq (608) 271-8507.

For a third year Gay Horizon's Inc. of Chicago will join forces to pre sent Discovery '82, a Drogram of more than fifty workshops, discussions and performances exploring the theme "Celebrating Lesbian and Gay Achieve ment in Scholarship, Coimiunity Build ing and Individual Growth." Disco very '82 will be joined this year by GAU-8 , The Eighth National Conference of The Gay Academic Union, Inc. The two events will run concurrently from October 8-10, 1982 at Chicago's Con rad Hilton Hotel. Basic cost for this excitinq confer ence will be $30 with student and low income reduced rates available. For more information and registration ma terials write G.H., Ire., 3225 N. Sheffield, Chicago, IL 60657.

4 4

mediaannouncements A new annual book about Shamanic experiences, New Age community building, and Neo-Pagan practi tioners has just been published by Circle. This publication, PAGAN SPIRIT JOURNAL #1, is filled with a variety of material contributed by many of the participants in the 1981 national Pagan Spirit Gathering held at Summer Sol stice time in the Wisconsin wild erness. The journal is a compen dium of articles, visions, rit uals, chantsongs, poetry, art work, recipes, photographs, and other sharings. SABBATS The Unicorn Newsletter announces a contest. Tor the best original art icle on the subject of the Sabbats (maximum word length 600 words) we will award a two-year subscription to The Unicorn. We will also print the article in our Yule issue, Dec. 1982.

Here are just a few examples oj what is included in the Journal: "Tranceworking,""The Goddess is Organizing," sections on women's & men's Spirituality, "How to build a Sweat Lodge,""Spirit Crystals," etc.

GAYELLOW PAGES AVAILABLE TO BLIND ON TAPE Gayellow Pages #12, a directory of U.S. and Canadian gay/lesbian businesses and organizations,now is available for blind and phy sically handicapped persons. LRC for the Blind provides access to the gay/lesbian print media through cassette recordings play able on talking book cassette machines. Gayellow Pages #12 is available complete on 7 NLS standard cas settes, at cost, for $10.50 (labelled in Braille or large print, upon request). Recording was done through permission of Prances Green, Editor, Gayellow Pages. N.Y.C. Persons ordering from LRC for the Blind should state that they are eligible to receive the special format edi tion; cassettes are not playable on commercial cassette machines. The taped edition of Gayellow Pages #12 is"tone indexed", a feature that enables users to locate any state or city easily. "For the first time," says Terry Gorman, Director, LRC for the Blind, "information on North American gay/lesbian businesses and organizations is accessible to the blind, at home or travel ing."

For the best original chant or sonq, we will award the author with a de lux *D ' (or if 'D ' isn't your fav orite key, pick another) penny whis tle as well as the Yule issue in which we print the winning entry. We will accept cassette tapes in addition to the words and notated music. Deadline for both portions of the contest 1s the full moon, Nov. 30, 1982. The judges will be the edi tors of The Unicorn Newsletter. AIT entries must be signed and accom panied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

For those who qualify. Gayellow Pages #12 1s avaTTaBTe on cassettes for $10.50 from LRC for the Blind, 3225 N. Sheffield, Chicago, IL 60657

Air C I B

For further information contact: Nell Morningstar The Unicorn Newsletter P.0. Box 8814 Minneapolis, MN 55408

The Journal is not only a chron icle of the knowledge, magick, viewpoints, and celebration shar ed at that gathering, but a re flection of many aspects of the growing Nature Spirituality Movement in America today. Published in a large album sized format, this Journal is 11 x 14 and spiral bound. Available from Circle, Box 9013, Madison, WI. 53715 for $9 plus postage ($l-bookrate, $2-first class, to USA & Canada). Make check or money order payable to Circle. A free flyer describing this Journal is available upon request from Circle.

(For information about regular edi tions of Gayellow Pages, please con tact: Renaissance House, Box 202, Village Station, New York, NY 10014

THEAPOTHECARY

BYTERRYSTAMPSP.D.

Venereal disease is no longer accurate terminology due to changing sexual habits. More properly it has become sexually transmitted disease (STD) since herpes progenitalis, non-specific urethritis and crab lice have repla ced syphilis and gonorrhea as the most commonly reported sexual disorders. This is due in part to better report ing, less fear of seeing one’s doctor or a trio to the "free clinic" for a check-up and, in the case of gay men, a higher number of sexual contacts.

Non-specific urethritis (NSU) is becoming more and more common among gays not only because of oral and anal activities but because of the increased frequency and variety of sexual contact as well as repeated exposure to causative organisms. For the same reasons, hepatitus, venereal warts and crab lice are also increasing. To prevent any of these, we must first examine our lifestyle. We must get in tune with our body and listen to how we feel. We must be honest with our contacts and ourselves and if necessary buy a condom to protect a friend. The emotion of sex is strong and in most men a real driving force. But there are times when matters can be taken in hand (pun intended) and the spread of a disease checked. Unfortunately, some times we are carriers without actually showing the symptoms of a disease or as with hepatitis, infectious just before the symptoms appear.

Recently there has been increased development of what is called acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) which seems to be nearly exclusively a "gay" disease. Very simply it comes from living "in the fast lane" -- poor diet and excessive dieting, improper or no vitamin in take, lack of proper rest, overuse of drugs and in gen eral, a disregard for and neglect of the body. With this syndrome, glandular systems become exhausted as does the immunological system and we become very suscep tible to nearly any disease -- and the intimacy of sex ual contact affords an excellent opportunity to spread some very debilitating diseases. Directly associated with this syndrome are Kaposi's sarcoma, a rare, nearly Indefectible skin cancer which is nearly always fatal and pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, a kind of "walking" pneumonia of long duration and producing chronic bron chitis, intermittent fever and flu-like symptoms and oc casionally fatal, full-blown pneumonia symptoms which are very difficult to treat with any antibiotic since the inwune system is at such a low functioning level. Also possibly associated with AIDS is herpes progenital1 s which always seems to occur when the body is in a stressed state.

Should you discover or suspect that you have an infec tious sexual disorder, see a reputable doctor for diag nosis and treatment (a urologist or proctologist or the "clinic" is preferred since many family physicians are inexperienced in identifying many of these sexual disorders). Notify your sexual contacts for the pre vious 30 days. While nothing may happen to them, at least they will be aware and can in turn notify their contacts since they have been with you. Make an extra effort and the spread of some very troublesome diseases can be eliminated.

DISEASE

CAUSE

AREA AFFECTED

SYMPTOMS

TREATMENT

PREVENTION

Acquired Irtmune Deficiency Syn drome (AIDS)

Fast paced life style, body neglect, ex cessive drug use.

Whole body, immunological system.

Increased disease susceptibility, Pneumocystic pneu monia, Kaposi’s sarcoma.

Vitamins, rest, thymus gland, balan ced diet, limit druq use.

Same as treatment.

Gonorrhea

Gonococcal bac teria.

Penis, rectum, rarely throat.

Cloudy urine with greenish discharge, burning on urina tion, or rectal discharge and burning.

Penicillin or tetracycline.

Condom, uri nation soon after sex, honesty, check up if suspi cious .

Syphilis

Spirochete bacteria en try through broken skin.

Penis, rectum, mouth.

Persistent sore at infection site.

Penicillin in large doses.

Condom, hon esty, check up periodic ally.

Herpes

Herpes progenital is virus.

Penis, rectum.

Small patch of oozing bumps which may come and go.

Homeopathic herpes progen and interferon, 1 -lysine.

Condom, hon esty, check up.

Crab lice

Pediculosis pubis, a mite.

Pubic hair, rarely beard.

Intense itch, finding adults or nits.

Kwel1, a prescription, A-290, sulfur ointment.

Honesty

Venereal wart

A virus.

Rectum or penis.

Warty growth on rectum or penis.

Podophyllum ointment ap plied for 3 hours on 3-5 consecutive days.

Honesty, condom.

Hepatitis

A virus or bacteria spread via a needle or sex.

Liver.

Appetite loss, yellowed whites of eyes, brown urine, nausea, flu symptoms.

Rest, vi tamins, vege tarian diet, homeopathic interferon.

Bodily clean liness, check up if suspi cious.

Non specific urethritis (NSU)

Many different bacteria.

Urethra, Prostate, urinary tract.

Slight early AM burning and dis charge, persis tent irritation.

Tetracycline.

Urination after sex, Condom, hon esty.

Finally, the first article > 1 that RFD Reader Survey in the Spring issue (#30) is ready with sufficient space to print it. I suppose we learned quite a bit about survey design from the difficulties we've had in compiling this one. From April 22 to August 19 we received 331 completed surveys, an excellent response rate of almost 30% of subscribers, plus several from bookstore copies and prisoners. I must acknowledge the complexity and length of the survey, since some respondents were intimidated and/or confused by some questions, and therefore I must assume some readers felt unable to re^ spond. Also, many readers left questions blank * which they found irrelevant or incomprehensible.^ This surely has resulted in a skewing of the responses towards the more educated and more S linear thinking readers. It has resulted in an v overwhelming amount of information for us to process and consider. Thanks for your patience, ^ honesty, willingness to share your ideas, and < resourcefulness (particularly when two readers ^ had to respond on one form!) We have hundreds of suggestions for articles alone, some of which we hope you will see soon. With the obvious disclaimers (non-randomness, voluntary nature, etc. ) we assume the surveys returned to be representative of the entire readership. Part I of the survey--Personal In formation, has been compiled for the first 331 surveys received (they're still trickling in-It's never too late to give us your feedback!) Part II--RFD feedback basics, has been compiled for the first 194 surveys, and all parts of the survey have influenced our actions in trying to be more responsive to all of our readers, which, as you’ll see, are a pretty diverse lot. The body of this article follows the order of Part I of the survey and so presents a profile of the average (not-so-average? ) RFD reader. So here goes!

RFD'ers are (highest first) NY, CA, PA, IL, OH, MA, MI, MO, TX, and WI--which closely parallels the 1950 population rank of those states, with a slightly higher than expected number of RFD'ers coming from MA, MO, and WI, and lower than ex pected from TX, and NJ.

The age range of respondents is 21-79. Age dis tribution is indicated by the above chart. Res pondents were 99% male, 1% female. As to sex ual orientation, 97% were gay, homosexual, or 12 other related descriptions. 4% described them selves as "gay to bi", 6% as Bisexual or equiv alent, 1% as Pedophile, and 1 response each from Lesbian, Heterosexual and Transsexual.

Of the responses to the optional request for eth nic background (306) 91 were distinctly different. The vast majority (93%) are Caucasian. Black, Amerindian, and mixed Araerindian/Caucasian each accounted for 1%. Mixed and unclassifiable res ponses accounted for 2% each. Of the Caucasian respondants which specified national origin (177) 33% are Anglo-Saxon, 8% Irish/Celtic, 7% German/ Scandinavian, 17% mixed Northern European, 10% Southern European, 3% Slavic, 8% Jewish, and 14% mixed European. The specificity of many responses seems to indicate a sense of roots and "ethnic pride", probably greater than that which exists in most Americans today. Respondents were born in 43 states of the US, the District of Columbia, US Virgin Islands, Guam, Okinawa, in Ontario and Quebec in Canada, and in 8 other countries. 98% were born in the US. The top ten US states as birthplaces of 7

Where do all thses fabulous people live? Com pleted surveys were returned from 44 US states, the D of C, Ontario and Quebec in Canada, Aus tralia, New Zealand, Israel, and West Africa, although we have subscribers in all 50 states of the US, Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, 4 other Canadian provinces, and 7 other countries. 96% were US residents, 2% Canadian, 1% Austral ian, and 1% others. Of the US states, the ten with the most responses were CA, NY, T N , TX, N C , WA, MA, MO,VA, and WI (1 through ten). Readers in TN, NH, V T , and LA were most responsive. 5577% of readers in each of those states sent sur veys in. All surveys sent to Alabama subscribers (2) were returned, however. The states with the lowest rate of response (0-15%) were ME, M N , OK, IN, SC, WV, and NM, (lowest first). The choices for size of community lived in were, in retrospect, somewhat ambiguous, which several respondents commented on, and proceeded to answer in the manner intended, based not only on the population of the place but the 'feel' of life there, showing 3% "wilderness", 21% "rural areas” , 19% "small town” , 13% "small city", 11% "suburb an", and 33% "large city", giving a total of 43% rural-small town, and 57% urban. Only 24% of respondents would therefore be, "on the land", rural area, or wilderness.

RFD readers are rather stable in place of res idence, the range of length of stay in current community was 2 wks.-64 years, with about 8% of respondents having been in the same community most or all of their lives. The largest number of respondents (10% each) have been in their current place of residence either for 2-2^ or 5-5^ years. The median (middle) length of resi dence is 5 yrs., thought, due to a number of longtermers the mean (average) is 9*5 yrs. 43% have lived in their current community less than 5 yrs, 42% for 5-19 yrs., and 16% over 20 years. Although we found that most RFD readers live in urban areas, fully 80% indicate some experience in rur al living. The predominant social class background is, pre dictably, "middle class". Several readers, un derstandably, refused to answer this question on the basis of its irrelevance or the invalidity of the class system. 6% described their back ground as "lower class" and 26% as "lower middle", compared to 14% "upper middle", and 1% "upper".

Probably the most difficult questions to sumarize are those on "spiritual background" and "current predominant spiritual adherence". Try ing to make groupings of the 56 different answers for "background" and 92 for "current spiritual adherence" has been an education for me. In combining responses, I've come up with large, admittedly subjective, groupings that are, hooefully, true to the intent of the responses. They can be summarized as follows:

RFD readers have an abundance of hobbies, inter ests, and skills. There were approximately 2000 total responses in about 430 categories, which have yet to be fully analyzed (whew!). Among the roost popular were cooking, gardening, hiking, music, photography, reading, and writing. How ever, such diverse responses as dog shows, em broidery, geneology, golfj Jungian psychology, old cars, trancework, street drag, and simultanious orgasm were also listed. More on this questions will appear in a future article.

"Background" "Current" (349 responses ) (299 resp 83% 28% 22%

41% 6%

7% 1%

7% 5%

10% 2%

13%

70% of respondents indicated some involvement with agriculture, by far the largest percentage of those (73%) "garden for self-use". 6% of respondents grow produce for sale, 1% dairy farm, 5% produce meat, and 14% have some other agri cultural involvement, including bees, forestry, and horticulture, among others.

In heating their homes, 67% use oil/natural gas/ coal/kerosene/electricity as at least a partial source. For 31%, at least some heat comes from wood, and for 6% direct from the sun. 18% indica ted an unspecified combination of sources. (Responses total more than 100% due to multipule answers. Further distillation of this ques tion is forthcoming.) All but 8 respondents (98%) get electircity from their utility company. Represented among other sources were wind, solar, water, gas-diesel generator, steam, and batteries.

RFD readers are exceptionally well educated--98% are high school graduates, 92% have attended college, 72% are college graduates, 37% have at tended graduate school, and 27% have graduate degrees (8% of respondents having doctorates). The mean, median and mode (the roost common res ponse) are all the level of college graduate. As alluded to earlier, this is probably some what skewed by the level and style of the sur vey towards a higher formal education.

CHR 1ST IAN "Mainline Catholic" "Mainline Protestant" "Fundamentalist" "MCC/Dignity/ Integr ity" "Liberal/Radical/ Bsoteric" JEWISH EASTERN TRADITIONS (Buddhist, Tao, Hindu) MYSTICALNATURAL TRADITIONS (Pagan, Witchcraft, Amerindian, Mystical, etc.) PHILOSOPHICAL (Naturalism, Ani mism, Humanism, Personal Spirit uality, Agnostic) MIXBD/BCLBCTIC ATHEIST

63% of respondents work at some sort of job lo cally or in a nearby city. 5% derive their in come from farm produce, 16% from self-employment or home businesses, 4% from real estate/investments/trusts, 4% from social security/pensions/ SSI, and 8% from other sources. 11% describe their income level as "hardly surviving", 45% as "enough to get by", and 43% as a "comfortable margin".

Most of you live alone (41%) or with one other person (35%). Only 2% (excluding prisoners) live with over 4 other people. The largest number given was 1400 (by a resident of the Farm, Sumertown, TN--see profile o page 52-53). 18% live in an organ ized coromunity/co-op/collective/ etc. Of those who live with others, 44% live with lovers/ partners/spouses, 41% with rooramates/friends/co-workers and 15% with relatives (3% with children). v

25%

4% 1% 2%

23% 2% 6%

The physical health of 30% of readers is excellent, 55% good/very good/ healthy, 13% fair/fairly good, and 1% poor . As to emotional well-being, 14% describe themselves as excellent, 59% as good/very good/stable/etc., 21% as B B 0K/fairly good/fair/up & down, 5% as W W fairly poor /poor /depressing/star ved/ M M etc. The diet of 36% of respondents is ¥ onniverous/conventional/etc., 42% semivegetarian/balanced/wholesome/etc., and 22% vegetarian/vegan/etc.

Gay bars and organizations are near 64% of our readers. The »ost c o a o n method of making gay associations is through friends (75%). Other respondents use the mails (32%), gay support groups (30%), bars (22%), the "faerie network" (20%), baths/rest areas/streets (16%), and a variety of other places/aethods (14%) for estab lishing contact. The average person circled 2 of the above answers hence the large percentages. 83% are personally and/or publicly "out" with their sexuality (5% specified "personally" only or "somewhat"). However, 49% keep to themselves in their area and 67% keep "somewhat" to them selves. On the other hand, 60% are involved in local organizations. The responses to these last 2 questions seem somewhat contradictory, and it will require further study.

Grouping the data from the first part took about 35 te dious hours (surprisingly!). This put me in an altered state of consciousness and humour, for that matter, by necessity. I will grab at anyth!nq in place of a limbo of fact after fact..."When will I emerge?", I cried to the cosmos. Somehow, I did and have retained sanity. I am whole after liberal doses of the 3 R's. However, I do not know how humorous they are now that I'm back to the old me...Here's a sample of imaginative responses that I saved for y'all. The ones in brackets are from one particular survey response. Hope you enjoy this!

RFD'ers read 105 other gay publications regular ly, some of which we'd never encountered before. The average respondent named 2 publications, of which the 10 most popular were THE ADVOCATE (SF) (45% of respondents), GAY COMMUNITY NEWS (Boston), (27%), CHRISTOPHER STREET (New York) (16%), THE BODY POLITIC (Toronto, Canada) (10%). GAY SUN SHINE (SF) (6%), NEW YORK NATIVE (6%), the soft core slick publications DRUMMER, IN TOUCH, and BUJBBOY 4% each, and STRAIGHT TO HELL: THE MANHATTAN REVIEW OF UNNATURAL ACTS--4%. Other responses ranged from PIERCING FANCIERS INTER NATIONAL NEWSLETTER (2), OUT of New Zealand (3), PAN (2), to INTEGRITY FORUM (2), and THE VILLAGE VOICE (gay?) (2). I was particularly excited to see how many read GAY C O M U N T I Y NEWS and THE BODY POLITIC, which I rely on most heavily to keep up with both news and new insights into the "gay experience". Additionally, I do try to read at least most of every issue of about 50 other pub lications, from NORTHERN LAMBDA NORD (Caribou, MB) through THIS MONTH IN MISSISSIPPI. VGCC NEWS (Vancouver, Canada), to BOTH SIDES NOW (Maui, Hawaii), and GAY INFORMATION (Australia), none of which were mentioned in the surveys. And, to the last question of the personal infor mation section, political philosophy/part affil iation. RFD’ers found 44 ways to describe their political philosophy, and 9 party affiliations, despite the fact that approximately 15% of res pondents left the question blank, or anwered "none" or "apolitical". The readership of RFD is strongly tilted to the left, as we expected. 8% described themselves as "conservative", at least in some sense, 3% as "centrist", 25% as "liberal", 4% as "radical", 26% as "leftist", 19% as "anarchist", and 15% in terms of stands on issues, such as "environmentalist", "pacifist", "feminist", etc. Therefore, a total of 89% can be classified as "liberal or further left". As to party affiliation, there were only 146 res ponses, of which 5% are Republicans, 52% are Democrat, 15% Libertarian, 2% Citizen's Party, and New Zealand Values Party (similar platforms), and 26% Independent/depends on issue/candidate.

Name:

PART 1: ("Siddhartha"), "«! DeVold".

Ethnic Background: "*sSwedish/*sHungarian--but no Goulash”, "Mongrel", "off-white", "pink", "human", "none". Birthdate: Gender:

("1977").

"Neuter".

Sexual Orientation: ("Too young to determine"), "huh?gay?), "usually hor1zontal--North to South". Place of Residence:

"Schizo".

How Long Have You Lived There?"

"Too long".

Do You Have Experience In Rural Living?"

("5 years").

Social Class Background: ’Red, white and blue middle class", "white trash", "ugh!r. Highest Formal Education'

("preschool"), "on LSD".

Spiritual/Religious Background: "born-again atheist".

("Grateful Dead"),

Current Predominant Spiritual Adherence: ("Grateful Dead"), "Carlo Rossi’s Light Chianti", "spirituality provided by lover", "quantum physics". Income Source: other: ("parents"), "Uncle Sugar". Income Description: "Slippery". Are You Involved With Agriculture?: "I grow dope". How Do You Heat Your Home?: "4 cats and goosedown". Electricity Source?: "The cats generate static on the rug' Hobbies, Interests and Skills: (Sports & Music), "watersports--the real thing", "simultaneous orgasm". How Many People Do You Live With?: "myself", "4 billion nlus".

"just a faithful dog",

Do You Live In A Co-op, Commune Etc.?: "No, on a planet". Describe Your Relationships With Other People In Your Household: "perfect", "I like myself and the roaches". Describe You Physical Health: "defective 1n all the right places". Describe Your Emotional Well-Being- "Good--occas1onally depressed, but the weekends away solve that". Your Main Style Of Diet?: "around the kitchen table", "S.A.D.— standard American diet", “omn1vorous--it shows in the teeth", "all meat--1ncluding my lover", "Seefood-when I see food, I eat it". Where Are Most Of Your Gay Associations From?: other: "fantasy", "telephone--imagination". What Other Gay Publications Do You Read Reqularly?: "In Touch--for the intellectual articles, of course".

Future articles in this series will go into de tail about what you want from RFD. As always, we solicit your feedback and ideas, for, after all, we are a "reader-written" journal. Just don't wait until the next reader survey, fife

Describe Your Political Philosophy/Party Affiliation: ("hedonist"), "depends on issue", "counter-cultural" "terrorist", "vote for M1lo". That's it! Thanks for responding! 9

by John Alexander Dave Morgan attended the regional meeting for depart ment heads with the idea of trying his wings in a new locale. In his life Dave was the peak of successful middle age with his eyes cast toward the distant phil osophic years. Blood, like a dark current from a for bidden stream, filled him with a magnificent zest for the mercurial and the adventuresome.

Dave continued to savour the tension between observation and non-recognition. Without locking eyes, both men knew they would find some excuse to talk. The bartender approached. "Yes?" "Three brews." "Cornin’ up," the bartender added.

After his conference had ended Saturday afternoon and after Dave had visited some of the historic curiosities of the area, his evening began. His first stop in Nor folk was a bar, which, being an in-place, was filled with the sleek and the vacuous seeking ecstasy in the arms of a real man. Bored with the flirtations of the twittering swallows in their weekend retreat, Dave left the gay environment with every intention of returning to his motel room in Williamsburg.

Speaking into thin air, the sailor muttered, "Shit, i t ’s hot in here." Only a fraction of a second passed between that ejacula tion and Dave's response, "Seems they never build the A/C right." "Bars are all the same."

Slightly tipsy, he drove past a bar whose parking lot was filled to capacity and whose music, edifying the working class existence, trumpeted forth into the night air. Temptation, from which Dave had not asked himself to be delivered, called with a less than subtle voice. Dave eased his late model black hatchback into a space and entered the "Good Times" Bar.

Undaunted by the lackluster statement which lengthened the exchange, Dave responded with: "Well, what's going on?" "Nothin' much. Me and a couple buddies out jes' lis'nin to some music and gettin' drunk. Shit, ain't nothin' much else to do."

The dim lights, the Jostlings of the crowd, the ambiance of frenzied machinations, and the echoes of broken hearts and empty nights from the juke box contributed to an environment in which Dave imagined the promise of physical exchange might become a reality. Placing himself in a prominent but protected spot at the bar, he ordered a drink. With his bright mind and keen eyes, he scoped out the clientele whose dress code ranged from rural femininity to hoe-and-shovel butch.

"You all stationed here?" "Yeah, only two more days and I'm outta here. San Diego here I come, Woooooo! Monday I outprocess and I'm on my w a y ." "How long have you been here?" "Too fuckin' long, man, too fuckin' long." "Oh, I see.

And what does the Navy have you doing?"

"Oh, shit, man - any fuckin' thing they can get me to do." "Hmtnmimnm. evening?" "Yup.

So you say you're with your buddies this

We're jest out drinkin', checkin' out the chicks."

'You like to get high?" 'Shit yeah, man, never turn down a buzz." "I don't have any on me, but I've got some Afgan tops at my motel." The bartender presented the three beers to the sailor. The sailor paid, and then the sailor spoke: "You got enough to turn my buddies on?" "I believe I do." "Well, whaddyah say you come wit' me and my buddies, and we can talk this deal out?"

Dave was always careful to spread his glances evenly over the crowd to see everything but to offend no one. The three sailors sitting at a table near the wall seemed to hold the most promise, but, rather than make any false moves, Dave waited for the mountains of muscle to come to him. One did. Taking a sip from his drink and looking over the edge of the rim, he saw the nearly six foot tall sailor push his chair from under him with an intentional bravura. He was on. The square shoul dered hunk eased his way cleanly through the chairs and people, placing himself ultimately next to Dave.

"Sure, why not?" Picking up his drink from the bar, Dave followed the hunk through the crowd to the table by the wall. "Oh, yeah, man, the name’s Steve," the sailor spoke holding the three beers in both hands, but managing a greeting.

"I'm Dav-e.

The nearest street into the complex proved to be several blocks away. As he walked toward the sign, be reasoned in such a way as to obviate the intervention of the local constabulary. The unspoken and recent relationship with the three sailors seemed upon reflection to contain more than a grain of seediness, which, under interrogation, would not read well at all. Dave then calculated the financial loss to be at the maximua $60. The amount of the loss and the potential for embarassment did not seem worth the effort of legal recourse.

Nice to make your acquaintance."

When Steve placed the beers on the table, he nodded to his companions. "This here's Dave. Dave, I want you to meet Ed and Roy." Dave extended his hand and punctuated his own repetition of each name with a hand shake. With all men seated, Steve initiated the next step in the conversation with the announcement, "Dave's got a little reefer at his place and you know the score." "Hey, man, that's fuckin’ all right. body get high!" Ed piped in.

Right on.

With the resolution not to give the operator any valid location fresh in his mind, Dave found himself standing on the side of the broad boulevard with an unusually high amount of traffic whizzing by at three in the morning. Standing under a light near the access road, Dave espied two sailors hitchhiking toward him. He waited only a short while before their hitching and walking brought them to him.

Every

Swigs on beer. "You here on business?" asked Roy. More swigs.

Never one to be called bashful, Dave hailed them: "Excuse me, but I've been robbed and I don't know where I am."

"Yes, make it another round." Placing a twenty in Steve's hand, "Here, this should cover it," Dave in structed as he placed his wallet back in his pocket.

The taller of the two winked at his cute, boy-like partner. Each smirked ever so slightly before expressing his concern with wide eyes. The dark haired bigger man responded, "Gee, man, I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do?"

More swigs. Two or three more rounds. One crisp big one paid for each round. When the florescent work lights went on, Dave scooped the remaining bills and coins from the table into his pants.

While capsulizing the events in the bar, the desire to smoke, and the robbery, Dave inspected his new finds meticulously. Both men were dressed in white Recon teeshirts with faded dungarees and over-the-ankle lace up climbing boots. "What a pair," Dave mused to himself.

Steve spoke up. "Hey, your place being where it is, and you treatin' us like you have, man, we can't hold out on you. We got some shit at our place if you want to drive us over there."

When Dave concluded his narrative, he asked, "Did both of you meet each other under water?"

"Why not? Just direct the way." Although intoxicated beyond the legal limits of satiety, Dave drove well. Sex and chicks and cunts were mentioned in the drive back to Virginia Beach, so Dave thought that in smoking a joint to polish off the evening, he would be polishing off the sailors as well.

"Under water?" the big one questioned. "Well, isn't that what you boys do?

Scuba diving?"

"Oh, yeah, that's part of it," the dark one spoke.

Alas, however, the amiable commaraderie ended abruptly. After parking the car in a reserved space in the center of a cluster of apartment buildings, the men exited the hatchback with a disguised seriousness, for, not ten paces from the parked car, Steve curled his arm around Dave's neck while Ed reached into Dave's right hip pocket and removed the wallet. The next instant, the men split.

"By the way, my name's Dave Morgan." "I'm Madden," the broad Yankee spoke. "I'm Gray," the boyish blonde blue-eyed Southerner added. "Out here in the middle of nowhere, Bobbsie Twins."

and I run into the

Dave smiled when the blush no amount of masculinity could hide welled up in Gray's cheeks.

"Listen, man, I don't know if I'm in for your brand of humor at this hour of the morning," Madden interjected as a quick defense. "I just find it both strange and amusing that I meet a couple of perfectly matched sailors at an ungodly hour hitching on this thoroughfare. Are you buddies to the death?" "That depends," Madden answered. "On what?" Dave retorted. "Whether it's a life or death situation."

Photo by Randy Krahn

Turning to the bashful Gray, Dave sliced through the niceties of banter and queried, "Would you kill for him?" Dave, with his usual brilliance, returned to his car while counting his folding money and change, got his registration card as proof of identity, went to the nearest telephone, and in a state of great agitation called the operator who wanted to know his location. Dave placed his registration card on the ledge holding the directory while he stepped from the booth looking for a road sign.

"Y-y-y-yes, I suppose," Gray mouthed. "You mean you don’t know?" "I know." "But would you die for him?"

The domineering masculinity of Madden drew Dave's atten tion first. Dave's hand first touched lightly and then with more resolution. Once Dave realized the acceptance was total, he began the ritual that racked his body and triggered sensations within him that animated him again and again.

Under the blue florescence of the vapor lamp, Dave noted the heaving of Madden's chest and the loss of blood in Gray's face. Dave knew then how much they loved each other and how silent their love had been. "No need to answer that one," Dave added. "In Recon, it s your duty, I believe. Forgive me if I've been a little prying, but I'm just not myself since that incident with the wallet."

Dave then rolled over and repeated the same ritual with Gray while Madden slowly dressed himself quietly. Dave looked into Gray's face, and he saw Gray's eyes burning themselves into Madden's. Dave returned to his pleasure and as he brought Gray to the end of ritual, he looked up and saw Gray's arm reach over to Madden. Dave saw Gray pull Madden to him as he quivered involuntarily. Once again, but now deliberately, Gray pressed his lips to Madden's.

"That's o.k., man. We get you," Madden spoke in his effort to terminate the conversation as it had been going. "I'll tell you what," Dave interjected, "I've still got that dynamite dope at my place in Williamsburg if you both are interested in a little a.m. partying." Again, Gray looked to Madden. and nodded "yes."

With the tension of their bodies satisfied, Madden stretched, yawned, and then indicated they should really be getting back. Madden and Gray hitchhiked out of Dave's life. The large empty area in the back became Dave's bed. In the morning he arose somewhat enlivened, if not completely refreshed. Walking to the overpass to obtain some gasoline, he was picked up by two huge black men, taken to their house for a gas can, to a gas station, and back to the car.

Madden shuffled his feet

Back into the hatchback and back onto the four lane with two new acquaintances. As the conversation blossomed and the level of understanding rose, Dave's attention to the details of such things as road signs diminished. As Dave punctuated several statements about military life with slaps on Madden's thigh, Dave noticed that Madden was making no attempt to pull away. When Dave finally let his hand rest and fingers squeeze Madden's muscle filled jeans, he saw in the carefully angled rearview mirror that Gray was straightening his hardening erec tion under the soft faded cotton denim.

After American Expressing his motel bill, he began his drive home. Later that day, reflecting on the dangers inherent in strange confrontations, he eased his hatch back off the interstate into a rest area. His bowels wished to dispel their contents, and Dave responded to their promptings. Inside the men's room Dave noticed a tall teenager standing close into a urinal as he headed to a stall. Dave entered, closed, and locked the stall. Seated upon the cool plastic seat, Dave reflected on the conference, the robbery, and the two sailors.

Madden turned slightly toward Dave so his leg rested on the console. Madden nodded to Gray to move to the center of the back seat so Dave could reach him more easily. Madden miraculously produced a joint and in its being passed, Dave found quite a few opportunities for resting his hand on Cray's upper leg. Gray moved forward and spread his legs wide apart so Dave could easily find his now erect penis.

Silently, the teenager had positioned himself in front of Dave's stall and was peering in on him through the gap in the door. Dave looked up, but made no sign of interest. The boy continued staring while he unzipped his fly and exposed an enormous endowment. "Come on," the boy hoarsely whispered, "I know you want me, and I'll do you."

Gray then took the Joint, reversed it in his mouth, and leaned forward to give Madden a shotgun. As he leaned into Madden's lips, Dave took the opportunity to carress Gray's erection as the exit sign for his turnoff passed unseen above him. The accuracy of Dave's grope startled Cray, he winced, and involuntarily jerked forward so his lips pressed those of Madden. Neither man moved away as Madden pulled the smoke into his lungs. When Gray finally eased himself back into his seat, Dave noted that Gray's erection had reached its maximum limits while the two men were kissing.

At that moment, the outside door opened and the boy quickly entered the stall adjacent to Dave's. He lowered his trousers as the distant stranger relieved himself. When the squashed and dampened paper towel fell into the receptacle, the boy fell on his knees and sidled up to the mutually shared wall. When the door closed behind the intruder, the boy exposed himself fully to Dave under the wall. Ordinarily, the prospect of such an encounter would have enflamed Dave's desires, but the thoughts of the boy's down covered face and slightly pimply complexion dis suaded Dave's reaching down to begin a mutual exchange. From behind the wall, the boy moaned, "Let's do it. 1 want you to come. I know you want me. Please." Any thoughts that might have overridden Dave's anxiety were squelched by the word, "please." The boy was simply too young. After finishing his duties, Dave leaned down and whis pered, "Yes, I do want you, but treat yourself to some one your own age." "No, man, I want you. Come on, do it. you," the boy entreated.

I'm here for

Dave reflected on the tension between the young men which was broken only when he noticed a sign announcing the distance to Charlottesville. After the group realized they were heading in the wrong direction, they decided to turn around, which they did, only to discover not too many more miles down the road that they were out of gas. Dave pulled over to the side of the road where he suggested rest in the pre-morning darkness.

Dave did stop In front of the young man. walked on.

Dave judiciously placed himself between Madden and Gray. Sleep on the part of both men was feigned instantaneous ly.

Three days later Dave's registration card arrived in the mail from a lady who had found it in a telephone booth in Norfolk.

Dave pulled up his trousers and unlocked his door to leave. The boy also stood up and opened his door so that when Dave walked by, he would see the boy's hard desire.

Dave smiled and

brothers behind bars frbrthwest fhison protects by L e ri - K i c h a r d s o n Censorship is starting up again. In March this year RFP filed a class action suit with the ACLU (Costa Et A1.. Publications Ban). The suit was filed against OSP (Oregon State Penitentiary) after a few prisoners complained that their "gay literature" was being stopped at the mail room. RFP was also listed as "unauthorized" at the Washington Correctional Facility at Shelton. A grievance complaint has been filed. RFP is still getting into the other two NW prisons. We have been trying to set up a prison protective coalition at OSP using the guidelines that were set up at Walla Walla in 1978. Because all "culture groups" are banned from OSP we are working with the MCC ministry. We hope to use the ministry's privilege for the right of gay prison assembly. The MCC is in at Walla Walla and gives a real support to the gay prisoners there. Anyone in Oregon who would be willing to help on this project can contact me at P.0. Box 98, Wolf Creek. OR 97497.

Just about every minority group in prison has some sort of support network or publication on the outside to pro vide a sympathetic ear, friendly advice, and sometimes specific assistance. There is, however, one group of people in our jails and prisons which is constantly suffering, is more oppressed within the walls than any other, and has no one on the outside to relate to.

The WPNS (Washington Prison News Service) was stopped in July after they supported the Black Prisoners Strike at Walla Walla. The editors of the WPNS were separated and transferred out of state. m

I speak here of the thousands of "punks" in our system of incarceration, juvenile and adult, the vast majority of whom are heterosexual victims of rape or threat of rape, young, and unable to protect themselves from the sexual predators in our institutions. They are at the bottom of the prisoner power structure, living lives of abject slavery, sold and traded among the powerful, forced into prostitution, tossed about as footballs and prizes in racial and other power structures, tormented by conflicts over their sexual identity and role, isolated, humiliated, ashamed, and often suicidal. They have no one on the outside they can relate their problems to, for they are desperately concerned with preventing knowledge of their plight, their "loss of manhood," from spreading in their home communities. Gay groups do not address their sensibilities, for although they share many of the same problems as gay prisoners, they are not gay.

Something w C d n w w n

Jby Lawrence Ubrich

I am struck by the parallel of what it's like being nay in prison and what it's like being oay and livinn in the country, so I thought I'd share my views. I think that gay men living in the country and gay men in prison share the fact that we are not entirely accepted within our separate environments. I could be wrong be cause I’ve never lived in the country but I just don't think of the country as a place where gays would be read ily accepted by the other people in the community.

There is a crying need for someone to reach out to the "punks," someone who understands their oppression, who can provide a friendly and sympathetic encouragement for them to express their feelings and problems, and is able to recognize them explicitly as heterosexual males.

Gays are usually city dwellers because the city offers anonymity, acceptance of our lifestyle and better oppor tunity for finding a mate. When I first came to prison eight years ago I really missed the city because it represented the ultimate of my lost freedom--sort of a refuge from the loneliness and disappointment I was facing. My attitude has changed since then. I guess it may be due to the lack of privacy available in prison but I now think of the country as a place of refuge, instead of the city. I just want to qet away from people, find a dog and go live on top of a mountain where it's quiet and peaceful. A simple life.(^

I am suggesting primarily a network of pen pals. I believe these should, in the first instance, be hetero sexual or bisexual women, ideally young women, both because women are more likely to be able to deal with rape victims and help them understand the nature of their oppression, and because it is vital that the "punks" need for feminine contact be supported. I hope that there is someone out there with the time and energy to get the ball rolling. The first step is exploring the idea further through correspondence with me and others familiar with the situation. I see a news letter, primarily for outside circulation. I see backup lists of men and lesbians for those "punks" who would feel comfortable with these groups. I know ways of reach ing "punks" and I have ideas for reaching volunteers. I think that rape crisis counseling centers must beencouraged to concern themselves with the widespread problem of rape in jails and prisons.

Left Bank Books, an al1-volunteer, non-profit service, sponsors a Books For Prisoners project. Through donations and a postage grant we are able to send free miscellaneous books to inmates everywhere, providing the institution allows them in. We offer special order books at cost, usually 35-40% off. Also, donations of books and-bucks from those on the outside are always appreciated. Prison ers and other interested persons should write:

For those interested in the problem of rape in prison, let me recommend the recently-published anthology: Male Rape: A Casebook of Sexual Aqgression (AMS Press. 56 t . 13th St., New York, fTY. l M W £ (sPP D a g n 16)

Books For Prisoners Box 'A' 92 Pike Street Seattle, WA 98101

RFD encourages readers to write to our brothers behind bars. Many are quite isolated in that environment and desperately need an outside contact for moral support. However, we also urge extreme caution with ANY dealings with money. Some prisoners pose as gays just to perpe trate frauds and scams, and gay men seem especially vulner able because of our trusting natures. Be wary of extra vagant promises and requests for money for clothes, radios, watches, etc. and for lawyers fees for an "early" release. Also, be guarded about cashing checks and money orders which could be cleverly altered. We recommend that one decline ANY pleas for money orders other than a small amount ($5 per month) for postage and such. If a person is sincere, he will understand and continue the corres pondence. You can also write to the warden for a prison er's profile to verify any claims. Please report any abuses to us since we would want to delete that person's name from the list. It is advisable to try to be as clear as possible about your intentions in writing to a prisoner. Please consider his feelings and needs and be as honest with him as you can. If you decide to stop writing, please have the courtesy to notify your correspondent. Remember that your pen pal relationship will most likely change dramatically after the prisoner's release, and promises made in the perspective of a prison correspondence support situation may no longer prevail. To be supportive, one need offer no more than a correspondence relationship. The following contact listings are condensed from prisoner letters and are printed in order of receipt as space permits.

ROBERT MOLKO #10758-25, 835 West Morgan Street, Raleigh, NC 27603. Lonely gay male, no family or friends in the free world, seeking correspondence with other gay males. Am 5' 11", 145, brown hair, green eyes, good looking, 24. WILLIAM VARGAS I #137 722, P.0. Box 45699, Lucasville. OH 45699. 33, 6 ', 163*5 lbs., brown eyes, brown hair in short shag. Just completed Associate of Arts degree, working on bachelor's. Sports, stamp collecting. Seeking new friends and in starting new life upon release. FRANK E. SPECIE #165-044. P.0. Box 69, London, OH 431400069. Gay white Drisoner soon to be released, would appreciate hearing from sincere individual possibly interested in a lasting relationship. SCOTT LYNN #162-595, P.0. Box 69, London, OH 43140-0069. Doing a 4 to 20. Interests: auto racing, camping, roller skating, puzzles. 22, 6 ' 2", 175 lbs. CECIL CURRY #159-897, P.0. Box 69, London, OH 43140-0069. Seeking correspondence with anyone sincere, mature, under standing, and willing to take a chance on someone society has forgotten. Virgo, 30, 5' 7", 167 lbs. KEN HORSLEY #165-809, E Dorm, P.0. Box 788, Mansfield, OH 44901. Seeking correspondence. I'm Mexican-American, 23.

LESTER D. O'TOOLE 78229 Camp A Dorm 2, Angola, LA 70712. To be released Sept. 30, 1982. Need help, somewhere to go, and lots of love. Want to live with 2 or 3 gay men. I really enjoy group sex. Been in 9 years; am 34 now.

TERRY HESS #625854, P.0. Box 520, Walla Walla, WA 99362. Seeking correspondence for friendship, erotic letters, and possible relationship. Bisexual, 27.

KEITH A. HERGONROTHER P.O.Box 87, M.P.C. #N-08068, Menard, IL 62259-0087. Would like some nice, sincere people to write to. I'm 23 with brown eyes/hair (shoul der length). I like music, fine food, dancing, drawing.

PAUL REEVES #A67942, P.0. Box 87 M.P.C., Menard, IL 62259 Being released Oct. 25, 1982, seeking long-term relation ship. No family ties, no place to go upon release. 27, 155 lbs., blue eyes, brown hair,

DOUGLAS H. CHRISTENSON #113411, Box 55, Stillwater, MN 55082. I have 15 months to do and like other gay men, I get very lonely and would appreciate hearing from other inmates all over the country, plus any other gay man.

GEORGE KE0UGH #K3620, Box A, Bellefonte, PA 16823. Wants friend to write, realizes it's time to settle down. Kindness is my way of life. Gemini, 26, blond with hazel eyes, 155 lbs., 6 '. To be released March 1983.

GEORGE W. BRITTON P.O.Box 500-81715, Hillsboro, IL 62049. Hi! Sure would appreciate hearing from pen-pals. (George is in prison for a gay sex "offense"--ed.)

DAVID LATINO, Min. Sec., P.0. Box 8212, Cranston, RI 02920 Wants to hear from anyone, to find new life. Has not told parents and friends so receives no visits or mail. 26, Italian, Cancer, with brown hair and eyes, beard.

NATHANIEL WARFIELD M-72063, P.O.Box 87, Menard, IL 62259. I’m 24, gay and lonely. I would like to hear from people out there ‘cause I’m in jail. I am coming out soon.

JOSEPH P. MARCOTTI #N13779, Box 87, Menard, IL 62259: To be free in 6*5 yrs., wants to meet right person. Will answer all letters and send photo. W/M, 150 lbs., 6 ', brown hair, blue eyes.

ANDRE HUNTER #N-01582, Box 56-87, Menard, II 62259. I'm looking for a gay woman who wants a MAN to treat her like a WOMAN: well, as her man; for real with her about everything. Send me a letter anytime.

JOHNNY BEAHRINGER #N-08055, Box 87, Menard, IL 62259. Seeks MAN to go further than friendship, to share fun, fantasies, and fucking.. Understands gay life, the qual ity, happiness, freedom of being able to explore sexual sensitivity of a man.

ROBERT HULL #N16109, Box 711, Menard, IL 62259. Hi. I’m 29, with blue eyes and blonde hair, 5'10", 170 lbs. I'm very lonely and would like to hear from gay guys and someone to write to.

LOUIS FANTETTI #00211-061, B-Unit, P.0, Box 1000, Sandstone, MN 55072. Seeking correspondence, 24, 6 ' 4", 210 lbs., W/M.

WILLIAM ALDRIDGE #A-70866, P.O.Box 87, Menard, IL 622590087. I'm 21 years old, Aquarius, 5'9”, 165 lbs,, brown shoulder length hair and blue eyes. Like to write all warm souls across the United States.

LAWRENCE LIBRICK #21780-175, P.O.Box 33, Terre Haute, IN 47808. Share your knowledge with me of how to make it living in the country. I'm 28, with 5 more years to go in prison.

ROBERT EVANS #A-72150, Box 87, Menard, IL 62259. I'm a 24 year old prisoner, to be released this year. I am searching for a special someone to share life with.

JAMES REACHARD #96990-131, P.0. Box 1000, Sandstone, MN

brothers behind

Sexual encourCter

b ars

DAVID R. JOHNSON, P.0. Box 87 A-73911. Menard, IL 62259. Needing friendship with someone caring, compatible, and understanding. Interests include reading, writing, music and a few sports. Very open minded. 21, 5' 8", 149 lbs. Curly brown hair and brown eyes.

by Pan-Z He/she sensed Her/him before He/she saw Her/him. He/she was noticed as well. Their nearness to each other was known as a fact long before there could be any apparent reason for awareness. Slowly they moved towards each other.

CHARLES FORD #071674, T1 S2, P.0. Box 747, Starke, FL 32091. Finishing a 5 year sentence, and wanting to share some Florida sunshine. Libra, 18. 138 lbs., 5' 9", blond hair, blue eyes.

He/she had an urge ... an urge that went beyond hunger. An urge that went beyond the need for rest. A resistless .urge that paid no heed to danger ... or pain. An urge that had to be satisfied. He/she wanted to mate. He/she slid closer to Her/him.

CHARLES SHEPARD #072075, P.0. Box 747, Starke, FL 32091. Situations can't tell you what's inside a person, even as one gay's actions doesn't mean all gays are the same. Open minded, 32, 5' 9", 160 lbs. in need of friends.

She/he was restless. As yet She/he was unaware of the reason, but even if She/he knew why, She/he couldn't care less. She/he was not too bright. She/he thought of nothing save eating, resting and ... yes ... that was it! SEX! She/he glided nearer to him/her.

HOMER BROOKS #0501094, P.0. Box 1100-1591, Avon Park, FL 33825. Interests include photography, reading, radio, TV camping, hiking, horseback riding, swimming (skinny dipÂ ping). Finished 6h of 25 mandatory. No family or friends

They first saw each other in a wooded glen. The moist, dead leaves made soft, rustling sounds as they oozed towards each other. Neither one hurried in spite of their urgent need. All their movement was slow, graceful ... sinuous.

JAMES CRYER #90268, Hickory 1, Angola, LA 70712. Very intimate gay male, age 21, soon to be released. Need guidance or friendship and a place to stay. Can relocate, age is no barrier. Please send photo.

Relentlessly they advanced on each other. Each intent on only one thing ... SEX! Sex at any cost. Yet still .. they would not hurry. At last they met. There were no introductions. were no preliminaries. They joined.

There

His/her body glistened and gleamed in the dappled light of the woods. His/her muscles rippled as He/she wrapoed Her/him in a torrid embrace. She/he yielded to him/her. Her/his naked body shone wetly. She/he returned the embrace. 'Belly to belly, they slimed together. They entwined avidly ... one would say passionately if they were not so unhurried and deliberate about it. His/her searching organ sought her/his opening. Slowly, deliberately She/he inserted it. Then he/she rested. She/he accepted his/her organ, feeling its length 1n Her/his body. She/he squirmed a little. She/he writhed against him/her, almost floating in the slime that had built up between the two of them. Then her/his organ found his/her hole.

North Carolina Prisoner Legal Services, Inc. is a small (two lawyers) project providing civil legal services to indigent state prison and jail inmates.

He/she also writhed as She/he inserted her/his thing-a-mading into him/her. Then, with both of their little things stuck into each others holes, they lay quiet for hours.

The office cannot assist or advise persons challenging their convictions or appealing their cases. It is limited to assistance in those cases involving conditions of conÂ finement, for example, guard brutality, lack of protection from other inmates, unconstitutional prohibitions against reading materials, inadequate facilities/programminq for the handicapped. Additional information is available from the office itself.

They parted. He/she moved off giving no more thought to her/him. She/he didn't give a damn about him/her. Their urgent need had been met. They went their own ways ... each carrying the other s jism inside their bodies. In a while they would lay their eggs. Thus insuring that next year, too, there would be garden slugs.

NORTH CAROLINA PRISONER LEGAL SERVICES, INC. 2727 Hillsborough Road Durham, NC 27705 (919) 286-3356

They would never meet again. ^

Edited by Anthony M. Sacco, Jr.

AMS Press, Inc., New York, N.Y. $9.50 (pbk)

This anthology is the first comprehensive study of male rape. The essays collected range from statistical stud ies to first-hand testimonies. While not all the select ions are first-class, the general quality is high, and the different perspectives buttress one another to form a carefully documented and awful picture of male rape in the United States.

These frustrated time-bombs are put in the penal pressurecooker with its usual conditions, which Israel Drapkin has so well described; ill treatment by word or deeds; overcrowdedness; lack of hygienic conditions; working conditions from idleness to excessive exploitation; poor quality medical services; scarce, monotonous, filthy food; easy and frequent drug consumption; restricted visits and mail; and a variety of sex abuses. Is it any wonder that prisons are criminogenic? V

This book 1s the fifteenth in AMS's Studies in Modern Society series; earlier related issues have included Capital Punishment in the United States (1976) and Child Abuse and Violence TT979T.

Enforced idleness and boredom are important contributing factors to prison rape. “The evaluation of potential victims, the plotting, the execution of the rape, the observation of the victim's reactions: all these are diversion from an otherwise boring existence."

Although a variety of diverse but related topics are covered, such as female-on-female assault and psycholog ical profiles of male-on-female rapists, the primary em phasis of the book is on male rapes in jails and prisons. In documenting conditions, describing instances, explain ing causes, and prescribing alleviations, this volume could be relegated to a mere penal reform category; but as several essays make clear, prison rape is but one manifestation of aggression and violence in the larger society, and individual communities must ultimately answer to and assume responsibility for this aggression and violence.

Larger concerns than the salving of individual egos are benefited by prison rapes. Social roles are defined by the sexual pecking order. Contests of rank and status are often sexual in form. Rape victimes are turned into punks and become slaves in the prison social order. "Slaves are 'property' and, as such, are gambled, sold, traded and auctioned off like common cattle." A punk may be paired with an individual man to satisfy his sexual and domestic needs (cleaning, laundry, etc.). Or a punk may be pimped out by his owner to make him money. "The victimization and continuing exploitation of the inmate is regarded as part of the natural order of things." Many men in marginal social roles participate in gang rapes of newcomers not only because they lack their own punk, but also to reinforce their status as men and to prevent rape of themselves.

The following sections cover the factors this book main tains are widely true. HETEROAGGRESSION First, and most importantly, it must be understood that prison rape does not result from homosexuality; but from heteroaggression. Rape, enslavement, and abuse are pro ducts of heterosexual males. In the prison subculture masculinity is equated with power and aggression. The need to feel strong, masculine, and worthwhile is chan nelled Into sexual conquest and subjugation. "Weakness both invites and justifies exploitation."

ADMINISTRATION Prison administrations often benefit from the mainten ance of this status quo. "The generally unrecognized reality in the prison business is that smooth prison operations can only be achieved by penal administrators through the implied consent of the prisoner population." Thus, between the inmate power structure and the admin istration there are tacit trade-offs, "compromises made between the keepers and the kept to prevent or minimize conflicts and to ensure control and peace." Tranquil custody is, after all, the authorities' main goal; they are willing to sacrifice some power to prevent disruption and escape. Especially dangerous or troublesome prison ers are sometimes subtly encouraged to engage in a rela tionship to keep them content and subdued. As long as prisoners prey upon each other and are divided among themselves, unity is prevented against their real foe, the institutional authority.

These sexual aggressors do not consider themselves homo sexual; as long as they take the active role they do not think they have engaged in homosexual acts. Their sex acts are not homosexual since there is none of the "soft ness, sentiment, or affection" equated with effeminance. Outside of prison these men have been failures in most areas of their lives and are in desperate need of some thing to prop up their male egos. They "rarely have meaningful work, successful families, or opportunities for constructive emotional expression and individual creativity." Aggression and sex are the only avenues.left open to prove their masculinity and bolster their selfesteem. “Only sexual and physical prowess stand between them and a feeling of emasculation."

Rape exists and will continue to exist in confinement institutions because it serves the interests of too many powerful elements of jail and prison societies, including the achninistration. Officials use it to divert prison aggression, destroy potential leaders, and intimidate prisoners into becoming informers." /*» , . .

Illustrations taken from African Desiqns from Traditional Sources, by Geoffrey Hi 11 Tams, toew York, 1971'.

GUARDS

to cooperate by filing a complaint."

Compromises increase at the lower levels of administra tion control, especially among those entrusted with day'to-day custody of the inmates, the guards. "The mainten ance of social control demands that guards bargain with inmates for institutional control, and grant them conces sions as compensation for conformity." Deals are made, and minor infractions (such as rape) are often ignored.

All this says nothing of the trauma of rape to the victim himself. He is forced through a "colossal identity cri sis" as his old reality is destroyed and replaced by a new stigmatized self-image. His fear, anger, resentment, and frustration are usually channelled into destructive ness, either inward-directed (self-damaging) or outwarddirected (anti-social). He may undergo a change in con sciousness and think of himself as an outlaw and adopt jailhouse attitudes. He has been taught that violence is successful. When released he returns to the community ashamed and full of hatred which he is ready to express through violence.

When confronted with an inmate's complaint of sexual assault, guards may discourage the complaint. "Some guards put pressure on victims not to complain--such complaints, after all, would indicate that the guards were failing in their duty." Guards may say they don't want to be bothered, or may discourage-the victim by asking if he wants his family and friends to find out about his "humiliation." Guards may encourage victims to rely on informal prison discipline rather than go through formal channels.

"The male seeks compensation for the trauma of the total loss of control by striking back and asserting control; as it was lost in violence so it is regained in violence. It may be that the most serious cost of prison rape to society is that it takes non-violent offenders and turns them into people with a high potential for violence." RACISM It is an undeniable fact that the majority of rapes in jails and prison are black-on-white. It is qenerally accepted that the black sexual aggressor "sees the vic timization of whites as a kind of revenge for his being victimized by white society." "Now whitey knows it is his turn," is the way one black rapist put 1t. Another said, "It’s a way for the black man to get back at the white man. It's one way he can assert his manhood. Any thing white, even a defenseless punk, is a part of what the black man hates... It’s a new ego thing. He can show he's a man by making a white guy into a girl." These black sexual aggressors have as their primary goal the conquest, subjugation, and degradation of their white victims. Black inmates often use rape "to let the white inmates, as well as the staff, know that they consider themselves as the dominant, not the dominated, in spite of the fact that they are locked up. Whether or not ghetto residents are predisposed to accent victimization as natural is a debatable point. Some ex perts maintain that the ghetto is a subsculture of vio lence, where "rape as much as other forms of violent and predatory activity serves to establish prestige and sta tus among peers."

VICTIMS Victims are usually young and slight newcomers, but any one not forceful and presenting a macho front is a poten tial target. Often the most innocent are the most sinned against. In jail, unconvicted youths without bail-bond money are assaulted by violent convicted felons who feel they have nothing to lose, since they are doing time anyway and might as well do it on their own terms. What can the inmate victim do? There is always the tendency to blame the victim. If the victim submitted due to threats of physical violence (knife at his throat), officials lable his actions "consentual." If he com plains, authorities are likely to imply he was gay, which of course always means he wanted to be raped. If he goes through with charges/hearings/trials, there are the ordeals of endless testimonies and cross-examination, not to mention government attempts at smear campaigns against him. Often the best the victim can hope for within the prison is protective custody. Although officials deny that protective custody is punitive, there is no difference in treatment between the "protected" and those undergoing punishment for institutional infractions. They have the same restrictions. They lose recreation, education, vocational training, reading materials, television, full meals, and other "privileges." Going into’ protection may bring the stigma of snitch or rat. Even if the rapist is disciplined temporarily, both victim and rapist may be released back into the general population where the rapist can retaliate and seek vengeance on his victim. Many of the preyed-upon accept victimization rather than request protection.

Why black-on-white rapes should be the majority even in institutions where blacks themselves are a minority is an interesting question that is prevocatively answered in a most interesting and wel1-documented article by Leo Carroll. He maintains that while treatment is therapeutic small groups can ease racial tension, surface humanitar ian reforms (without treatment) in the name of rehabili tation can actually contribute to bi-racial sexual as sault. He gives three reasons. /-» .« #

"Many of the victims themselves distrust and are hostile to constituted authority, and could not bring themselves

U7VviUvu*<i

1) When surface reforms without substance are institu ted, guards become less punitive; they are more friend ly, do favors, let regulations slide, and conduct less survei1lance,thus increasing the possibility of rape. "Extensive withdrawal from surveillance activities is frequently rationalized by reference to rehabilitation." This friendlier posture means they are perceived less as an enemy by white prisoners who thereby lose the social cohesion of confronting a common foe. White prisoners are less and less likely to defend each other as the atmosphere becomes more and more "every man for himself." 2) As regulations are relaxed or eliminated black pri soners become freer to form their own organizations, esp ecially the Afro-American Society, which has resulted in greater black pride and black prisoner solidarity. "Through their participation in this organization, black prisoners come to view themselves as victims of a racist society, and to integrate their roles as prisoners with their roles as black men in a manner that places them in the vanguard of a worldwide revolutionary movement against colonial oppression... Their incarceration, so defined, makes them political prisoners."

THE WHITE HOUSE SEVEN and A PUNK'S SONG One article tells, from the viewpoint of different par ticipants, what befell seven Quakers who, during the bombing of Cambodia, stepped out of a tourist line and onto the White House lawn to pray. "In the space of one short afternoon our whole world had been turned upside down." The article's spiritual perspective is moving and refreshing in this generally academic and statistic anthology.

3) Established white prisoners, who are the most likely to prevent bi-racial sexual assaults, benefit from the class of punks produced, and so often tacitly cooperate In the "turning out" process.

One of the seven, Donald Tucker, was arrested again at a second White House pray-in and, after arraignment in D.C. Superior Court, refused to post the $10 bail. He "was protesting against the bail system, under which the white, middle class escape the pre-trial confine ments which go automatically to the poor and black." He was sent to the D.C. jail; confined in a safe cell block with respectable prisoners, he played chess with Gordon Liddy.

OTHER INSTITUTIONS This book also includes articles on rape and violence in other institutions including juvenile training school. A sensationalistic article ("I Was Afraid to Shut My Eyes") reprinted from the Saturday Evening Post describes one woman's gang rape in a jaTTTor"women. My hair was burning and I could feel the skin on my forehead crack and begin to peel." When she complained to the warden, he "dismissed my complaint saying that I was a nut and had hurt myself trying to commit suicide. "

After a week in jail authorities urged him to leave; he refused. They offered him solitary confinement; he re fused. They transferred him to a dangerous cell block with violent prisoners; within the first forty-eight hours he was "forcibly raped some sixty times." The jail authorities expected that Tucker, like previous rape victims, would remain quiet. They hoped to scare him out of jail. Instead he brought suit against them. He was one of the first, through the courage of civil action, to expose the horrendous conditions inside nation's jails and prisons.

One article describes the difficulties of prosecuting rapes occurring in mental hospitals. "The reluctance of hospital and law enforcement authorities to pursue charges lodged by one patient against another because both are considered mentally incompetent" is a major difficulty; others include the tangle of recent legal rulings making it easier to place violent prisoners 1n less secure facilities, but more difficult to return them to more secure ones.

In the following article, the most personal in the knok, Tucker recounts and analyzes his continuing jail exper iences and their effects on him. A marijuana bust sent him back to jail. This time, along with sexual violence, he found affection. He began to adapt. Freed on a technicality, he later carefully arranged to have himself arrested and returned to jail. "Here I hoped to find myself being wanted and needed, to find the warm security I had experienced with the marines in the county jail." "Eventually 1 accepted my identity as a punk and decided to make the best of it." He gave up his Quakerism, ac cepted the use of violence, and even "turned out" a punk himself. Freed again when his case is dropped after several months, he began to explore his new identity as a punk. He said that "Gay men failed to satisfy me; I just couldn't find in them the strength which to me spelled protection. I'd think, these guys wouldn't last two days in a big-city jail. Emotionally, they just weren't credible as Men." He found he wanted to dominate or be dominated. "I did not want to nor could I deal comfortably with the relationships in between where power flowed back and forth in a constant if usually friendly contest between two often opposing wills."

"The Final Degradation" describes conditions and inci dents in the military's penal institutions. "Imprison ment is Intended not to rehabilitate the offender but to make an example of him." "Health is merely another privilege to take from him in the course of his necessary degradation." Guards sometimes taunted those with suici dal tendencies by giving them razor blades and encoura ging them to 'go ahead."' "They hung me between two bunk beds, hung me by my thumbs and toes to the top posts of the beds." The guards are not screened. Even those seen for psychiatric difficulties and/or labelled sadis tic are not removed from their positions. Conditions are so terrible that many prisoners guilty of nothing more than being AWOL are willing to risk being shot try ing to escape. The article emphasizes that all this could not go on without the knowledge of high ranking officers who condone such brutality.

Again he committed a crime where he knew he would be caught. "It was in jail that I felt I knew the rules and could find security, a means of coping with my help lessness. The jail Punk in me was looking for c way home, even as the man in me was striking back, by force of arms assuming control of the situation, returning to the government some of the rape it had given me." 18

Tucker brings up the use of class violence, how the upper and middle classes have institutionalized violence against the lower classes through the police and crimin al justice system. Street crime and prison violence are merely the lower classes paying back the upper and middle classes. "How can I condemn the prison rapist and not the judge who sends him there?"

One step to eliminate male rape is to bring "successful civil damage suits against corrections officials and the states in which these institutions are located." Anthony Sacco believes that "the guards as well as the admini strators are personally responsible for abuses suffered by weaker inmates at the hands of aggressors." His article, "The Stress Impact Study Technique," offers advice to potential expert witnesses on how to show that a penal administration was guilty of negligence in a jail and prison rape case, and how to document the type and extent of damage suffered by the rape victim. "Low self-esteem and changes in sexual identity have success fully been linked to deficiencies in such areas as learning abilities, work motivation, family and sexual functioning, and health status." Appendices list common maladaptive effects, e.g., "romanicization of a life of deviant behavior and lawlessness as retribution for what he thinks society has allowed to happen, to him." Sacco concludes, if one contributes, "even occasionally, to the mounting number of sizeable civil damage awards all across this nation, the price of prison rapes becomes intolerable for even the most revengeful corrections system of the most callous public."

OTHER TOPICS Some authors bring out that rape is not regarded as a sexual deviation, while consentual homosexuality 1s; that since rapists are prosecuted as criminals they rarely receive therapy; that little therapy has been developed specifically for rapists; that "therapy is long and difficult for those offenders who feel little guilt, who justify and rationalize their behavior..., and have no motivation to change."

Another important step to eliminate male rape would be the establishment of conjugal visitation or, better yet, home furloughs for convicts. For this to happen prison authorities as well as the public would "have to change their sexual consciousness and awareness and put the welfare of the inmate above their own religious, edu cational, and social preferences." Women as teachers, counselors, and Daraprofessionals would bring a female presence to the inmates and make prison more like the outside world.

In an excellent article Martin Bauermeister shows that in war rape is accepted as a normal way to humiliate the enemy and destroy his "logistical supplies," and that soldiers not participating in gang rapes are perceived as deviant by peers and superiors. "As typical for "normal1 behavior it is encouraged and expected." He notes, 'Wars are not exceptional human affairs," and says, "Rape and rape murder have been committed in largest numbers by normal people as a matter of pride, prestige, heroism." How many former soldiers end up back home in civilian jails and prisons?

Work-release for gainful occupation or study in the outside world would be very beneficial. For this to hap pen the "lock them up and forget them" attitude must be overcome. Community residential centers are the ideal, where communities assume responsibility for those indivi duals they have produced and judged deviant.

In exploring adult sexual orientation authors Nicholas Groth and Thomas Gary say, "The research to date all points to there being no significant relationship between a homosexual lifestyle and child molestation." If the child molester "is in fact engaged in adult sexual rela tions, he is a heterosexual; if he is not engaged in adult relations he is a pedophile." They conclude, "Pedophilia, the sexual attraction to children, in fact appears to be more a variant of heterosexuality than homosexuality."

"Our 'consumer society' sunk in acquisitive luxury and technological comfort, moral lassitude and permissive ness and egotistical materialism, completely indifferent to the sad fate of those who are sent to prison, hesi tates to take the necessary measures to meet this chal lenge, since it would demand a radical change in its lifestyle."

Not all the articles in this volume are so excellent. Peter Buffum has a weak article, "Homosexuality in Fe male Institutions." Not only is this article written by a man with no apparent first-hand experience in this area, but also he bases his conclusions on speculations and assumptions. Edward Scott's article, "The Sexual Offender," ts filled with tired stereotypes from homo sexual Boy Scout leaders to incestuous socioeconomic groups with lack of moral development.

Instead of finding and exploring the root causes of violence, bureaucratic indifference, political expediency, and massive public apathy prefer "to make the usual super ficial and demagogic demands for the return of 'law and order.'" However, "the pathology at the root of sexual assaults will not be eliminated until fundamental changes are made in the outside community." The community must always find ways for men to find self-identity, to prove self-worth, and to gain mastery over their lives without aggression and violence. The community must redefine masculinity so that it is not true that “ultimately, masculinity equals aggression and that equals r a p e . " ^

ALLEVIATION AND ELIMINATION Reform of the nation's anachronistic penal system seems well-nigh impossible. Certain steps can be taken to alleviate the worst suffering (such as male rape), but the entire system needs to be replaced with something completely different and far better.

--Woody Black 19

P B rO MEN OF SUMMER:

WAYCROSS WILLY

He Mocks at Love

Male hustler for the dust spinners ---He was a black-eyed, grinning ole boy, born near the tracks of the Atlantic Coast Line R Manhood arrived for this summer gypsy on a circuit of small south Georgia towns. On eroded hillsides overlooking an asphalt track he found his vocation ---camp follower of stock car drivers. For the red dusted sunsets, he waited ---to the one night lover in the motor courts came the lust-driven studs. Behind them, hours of de se rt -l ik e winds stirred up by animal roaring machines. Before them, temptation lying across a bed, sensual escape offered through a man's body.

Ivor C Treby

c Steven E Masterson Your spirit is free A thousand eagles High over the trees And here on earth Soaring in a swing.

H1s P h .D was si x inches long, erect. 1 had measured it against degrees of other kinds. When he fucked it hurt me but I loved it.

He mocks at Love Sees not his face Hears not his wing 'There's no such thing' He says He mocks at Love Yet Love's elixir brings

When time finally diffuses his attraction for brutish company, Willy will dream, through a twilight chorus of katydids, of a livelihood from a roadside pecan stand and a cricket farm for fish bait. He'll be swaying on a hammock, beneath the Spanish moss ---a symbol of quiet decadence surviving in a trailor park.

CONFESSION

He mocks at Love For him no phoenix sings No comets blaze Nor perfune clings To midnight flowering sprays

When I am with you Feeling myself alive Knowing 1t right And beautiful With us together For me the richest Feeling is 1ove Intensely shared Between two men. c Gi bson Higgins

c Glenn Sheldon

ASIAN Rabbit fingers bloom with soft kick. Belly open- seeks young man of Asian face; Seeks soft eyes, black eyes, red eyes, apart; Seeks soft belly with open Asian eyes; Seeks belly on belly, apart and over and open. Asian eyes bloom in fields of imperial chocolate. Something on the floor. Something in the pot. Something on the plate. Black terrycloth with hidden rabbit sunrise; Overcast skies with soft Asian kick. -Max Clore

First North American Serial Rights I am wonderful queer better queer I am a butterfly on a bamboo blossom c Glenn Sheldon

BEAUTIFUL MEN,

late at night i sit alone on my bed and wrap my aloneness around me and dream of beautiful women loving beautiful women and beautiful men loving beautiful men. suddenly all the fears of knowing i'm different fade small into the night... i listen as the wind carries the voices of my brothers, my sisters into the room and i remember i am not alone. i find the struggle less strenuous the fear less painful my identity more alive... late at night alone in my room i hear the chains of oppression fall to the ground as we gather together our forces and demand our freedom to love. c Jim Brewer,

BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

Jr.

AWAKENING

MY ARMS ACHE

I await the awakening of my passive mother She who takes all abuse and holds in the pain of your misuse She who holds in her anger and gives you her love She who is ripped up, poisoned, reshaped and raped by you She who has been nothing but true to you She who you enjoy and she who you destroy She who you think you own, though she owns you She who you think is dead, though she is alive with anger She who you express your dominance on as free as you desire thinking you're master I joyously await her awakening and the disaster.

My arms ache for you. Like any arms that are sleepless, they want to go around your subtle, rounded flesh, your slender waist. They want to gather you like a sheaf of wheat and sway with you to the rhythm of our dangling key-chains. I want your sweat to drench my skin like sea foam, your mouth so melted into mine it's hard to breathe. c Vincent Fitzpatrick

Wildflower

Sex I've been thinking about it since 1 was sex... I've been doing it since I was sexteen. If I'm on 1y thinking about it when I'm sexty, I'll be dead at sexty-sex. Pan Z.

Multiple Orgasm

Revenge of the Cat Man honey I can see ya standin on the edge people running out in droves. Screamin out a window "heh Mister Fuck me please I miss you would like to yell at you Italian boy fuck me please in my ass with you sweet italian sausage oh hot links Jimmy Dean never had it so good Neither have I had anything to inspire me except pain getting away from pain is leaving life behind Am I a masochist or a realist honey I don't know nothin except The edge.

THERE There exists today a man who's entire life cons i sts of a room a bed and a photo of a man he has never known c Don Roy

I Then wrap your honey leather thighs around my neck; like an ermine boa, slithe your groin around my throat and let us join together in the rapture of a second coming. II Speak to me in sensual silence of the love that permeates our souls; forge your tool firmly on my face, then let it wallow wildly like a salmon swimming upstream in my mouth. 11 I Aim the cannon hot and hard toward the ceiling of my mind; let it shoot its salute or ga smically-to celebrate two men joined in one moment-then float on ivory waves as it limply rests, heart and head, on my tongue. IV Take lov*Jf beauteous cane away from my cave and let it wander silently away, down some new path along my chest; rest it tightly near my hips with unspoken gratitude as your arms confess your glee. Then, rise again resplendent, ready to return down a different path to glory.

c Joey Romana

c Ed SantaVicca

1982

P r i o r i ty

YAZOO

the attraction is not bounded by your mouth on my neck, or golden hairs making a silky path to your thighs from your abdomen, the way you speak, low and moist...

we were white boys hopped up / with White Men's ideas being chained/as children to racism/ a nigger is a nigger/ and we were whit e/ th us supreme

we have secrets to share, questions to ask, trust to win i'm feeling the need to talk,

first.

c jamie kleinbaum and joey spak berkshire mountains, summer, 1981 THE PAGAN MOON

.In a given time of year When the Pagan moon is high In a meadow of low grass that ripples like a tide Come the children of the earth, the sun, the moon, the sky to lay their offering gently upon the E a r t h â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sweet breast of honey cakes and mead and wine and all that's to be blessed So come the children of the Earth the Sun, the Moon, the Sky to sing with all a wondrous mirth to raise their voices high to tell of love, of laughter, all a joyful sight, Hand in hand and heart to heart they dance wi nd er sh in around the flames Faster, faster, faster still, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;til all are one in aim. One in hand and one in heart as if they were the flame... and then burn brightly at the Moon to hall the mother's name! To call a healing or a heart or protection in her name... And from the world of ignorance her secrets we will keep Until time comes when all men can learn to keep the peace. And so the children of the Earth, the Sun, the Moon, the Sky dance round the flame of warmth and keep a watchful eye. c Paul Payton After 10 Years

we were w h i t e / c h i 1dren on our bycycles/ cycling threw life/ life and Nigger Quarters/ in a small Southern/ town we swaggered up to the porch/ a broken ole porch/ sway backed/ about to fall/ with beaten dogs/ under the steps/ baying at our indiscretion/ but we were white and nigger dogs barking was just nigger dogs barking/ we were white thus supreme 20 yrs later/ i write this/ 20 yrs later/ I remember the sharpness of your young voice the voice/ of a 9 yr old speaking to a woman/ 50 yrs your senior/ I remember the the edginess/ uneasiness of asking for water/ asking for servitude/ and the elation when servitude was surrendered to us/ and water was brought in old empty coke bottles/ to quinch our thirst/ and the way we felt/ on being supreme on being/ served/ on being white on being 9/ and having the/ advantage we were white/ thus supreme I remember/ us bicycling back/ to your momma's house/ across from/ my Gr an dm om ma 's house and we sit down/ to eat fried Chicken and/ your daddy worked/ on his broken down truck/ and I had to go home/ to try on my/ cousin's hand/ me/ down jeans cause we was/ to poor for new jeans/ to poor for new trucks/ to poor/ to realize we was poor/ but we were white and we were supreme/ and we could make the niggers bring/ us drinks of water/ cause of our wh it en es s/ I remember/ 20 yrs later/ I remember/ with shame the de gr ad at io n/ we forced on others/ I remember and cry

Oh Jack, Jack, as tall as a beanstalk; Jack, with two eyes like nickels that warmed the palm of my hand; Jack, who opened me wide as a country sheet then folded me in Where have you gone? Where is the wi sdom of your chin? The fuzzy legs of your mo ustache that carried me away? Where is the soap of your body that made me whole? The breath that winged me free? Jack, why can't I axe it? Kill the seed that keeps popping up like blood? Strangle the words of your smile with this winding sheet of letters? Oh Jack, I am left with a giant's fear; A ring as tarnished as a mailbox, and a little red flag that calls I'm h e r e .

Yazoo City, Ms. Jan. 25, 1982 Darrell Wood

I'm h e r e . c Gary

CITY

Czerwinski

"WELL, JUST WHAT IS EROTIC ? I'M NOT SURE I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN" We were discussing erotica when someone in the circle An attractive man approached me in a bar. What a made the statement I've used as a title. I fliply lovely suprise ! We went to bed and had an enjoyable replied (to myself) that HE was obviously very confused time. He wanted to do somthing that was painful to me ...I knew exactly what was erotic. As I listened to and I declined. He said that was alright, but soon others and to my own feelings I realized that what I needed to be taken home to his lover. He was effusive thought I knew and what I really felt didn't quite in his praise of me and went to some trouble to tell agree. me how I could find him again. Not erotic to me. You ? "HONOR IS IN THE ONE HONORING. Aristotle

NOT THE ONE HONORED "

I had a nice connection with a very special man at a gathering. We did some sharing and a little trusting. The connection didn't feel sexual. A piece of glitter stuck to his temple seemed to glow in the dark. Luciously erotic.

I was married for ten years to a very beautiful woman who knew I was gay. We both did a pretty effective job of not dealing with that issue. Even when the sex was good there was little in that relationship that was erotic.

Two men who were lovers were in the same space as me. I enjoyed them both tremendously. I spent the night with one of them and we shared lots of good stuff Wonderful and erotic. The following day the other man greeted us lovingly and with joy. More wonderful and more erotic.

After my divorce and coming out I spent a lot of time persuing men whose looks enchanted me but who were very unavailable. Everybody said that was erotic, but it didn't feel that way to me.

Someone I've known for a while has always felt very threatening to me because his energy seems so sexual. Circumstances have put us closer together recently We have shared a little. He touched his face to mine as I was typing an article for this issue. It felt erotic...not threatening.

I went to the symphony, a party and later to bed with a really nice man. Several times during the night and early morning we had contact with his rootmates (a straight woman and a gay man) in a very open and easy way. That whole circumstance felt a lot more like what erotic is. I have a very dear and close friend, We have agreed to a non-sexual friendship. I got very desperate one night and tried very hard to change that. That exÂ perience was the very antithesis of erotic.

I was pretty out while playing with some fancy jewelÂ ry in front of a number of very straight business types recently. Not exactly erotic...but it feels related Was it erotic for them ?

A trusting gesture in a circle grew into a loving and supportive relationship with a wonderful man. That felt very erotic. We did somthing wrong. Fear and mistrust replaced what had been good. The eroticism hasn't survived.

Someone (who just happens to turn me on like a switch) was in a needy place. He asked for some help and we did some sharing and trusting. We touched, held and slept together. The connection wasn't (and probably won't be) a sexual one. It felt good. That felt erotic.

A man appeared who is in many ways my objective erotic ideal. I focused a lot of hard and needy energy on him. The result was predictably negative-not erotic. In a pile of anonymous bodies I found myself massaging his foot. His leg (where my head lay) responded...very erotically.

"WHATEVER IS RECEIVED IS RECEIVED ACCORDING TO THE MODE OF THE ONE RECEIVING." Medieval Axiom Gary Kaupman

Faggots and a few Faeries gathered in a forest of stone and glass to talk about what they feel is "erotic'1. I felt so odd and the so small - withdrawing by the min ute 'til Ravenfaerie spoke. First, he echoed the others preoccupation with anatomical beauty - male beauty - but then passed through to speak of nights in the forest. Then, others chimed in -

standing alone naked in a circle of pines when the Moon was dark and my thoughts were of Pan the Circle drawn the lights set upon The Four Juniper, Patchouly on the Air

pine forests earth smells hot sun and cool breezes on a sweaty body laying in a cold swift running stream ... My mind *"uns on with such ideas ★*★★**★★★*

Animal Presence Body and Mind ejaculate into something else Panic, Fleeing, then, a light and the laughter of recognition shaggy muscular thighs cloven hooves and horns embrace of a man eyes of nature smile of the sweetest gentle soul smalls of the deepest wood moving like the waves in a sea of grain his piping rides on the Air and into the earth through the spaces between my roots lifting my mind through the tops of trees out into the Night a feeling of wrestling with a playful gentle panther with light gray eyes and a beautiful pink tongue 1icking me al1 over then flying on my shaggy broom over the trees to a light on the mountain

being half an inch tall and sliding naked down into the moist white silky cup of a Datura - emerging all fragrant, bathed in nectar full of visions full of night ★★*★***★★* remembering sitting in Nichols Arboreteum in Ann Arbor at night - wishing to see faeries dancing 'neath the Moon and stripping off my clothes faster than I ever have before when three naked faeries ran into the meadow below laughing , screaming, and dancing, total strangers kindred spirits. A magic time, the dance, exhaustion, our breath in clouds, our bodies covered with dew from rolling in the grass. It is the first time I have ever been so lost in magickal love that I could not tell who was male or female and it didn't matter. That was more than erotic that was ecstasy. **********

awakening soaked with dew muddy and grassy and so in love with the Earth **********

a dream of making love in a grove of pines on a bed of

fresh picked rose petals with the full Moon illuminat ing beads of sweat on my lover's body ■***★* ***** Flying with my love Floating in the air of a dream night drifting over a land of Moonlit hedgemazes and through willowy tunnels skimming softly through veils of green flying embraced playing games flying circles around the winds **********

Don't want black leather no whips or other exotic devices of torture no chains that bind no slave games. They burnt me time and time again but still I will live for the white feather and a soft touch of furry, sweaty skin shining with the slave of dreams circling with dancing hearts of my kin. SD Mickley 7/20/82 25

EROTICISM

careful touching. A fallen branch became a Taf-Chi wand. And breathing could be ecstacy: breath wind on flesh touch of moss toes in water grounding-power-love "Earth Initiation"

Every once 1n a while you run across some curious person who'll ask, "O.K., what do you believe; what is your 'Religion1 called?" I was asked this recently when I noticed a new friend was studying a book on "Gnosticism" (I can't entirely escape having been a major in Comparative Religion). Since I'm also basically nosey about what makes folks tick I felt my friend was entitled to some kind of answer, So I blurted out a few statements about how I'm kind of a pagan this and a new age that. Yet I noticed most of my gibberish boiled down to realizing that my spirituality is earth-centered. It has to do with relationships. And it has to do with my self. I call it, "my earth initiation".

But first I had to try to allow trusting this erotic garden of delights, and to trust myself a little more; to forego so much analysis. Some of what I did in that great forest could be labeled crazy I suppose. At least, I saw where I can scare myself when my lim itations are unclear. Then I begin to understand what Audre Lorde alludes to in saying that, "The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self, and the chaos of our strongest feelings."

What has this got to do with eroticism ? For me,, a lot. And allow me to jump off— and I mean Eeeeee ... — into our R.F.D. issue's topic, considering these words from James Broughton's Shaman Psalm: "...extend your vision stretch your exuberance offer your body to the risk of delight where soul can run naked spirit jump high..."

During R.F.D. group discussions here in Atlanta and at Running Water Sanctuary, I began to see how er oticism affects our lives on a number of levels. I was amazed that we were led to many tangents along the way ip our efforts at understanding eroticism. We found no concensus of definition or stylistic preferences for eroticism. Yet in the atmosphere of each discuss- ’ ion I could feel excitement, anxiety, curiosity, and a need to talk about so many things: sexuality, rela tionships, porn, politics, women, cross-dressing, humor, fears, secrets, S&M, (please note Pat Califia's article on "Feminism and Sadomasochism" in #33 issue of CoEvoloution Quarterly) and many other "tangents".

For me the story seems to go somthing like this: We're given birth into a sensual world that invites us to touch, experience and experiment with its erogeny, to guide us to...well, what I like to call "home". And if we didn't feed on mother's breasts, hopefully we did on her touch. It all seems to get a bit com plicated after that. You remember, all those "nono's"!

Now, this becomes very interesting to me, because I can no longer feel that efforts for erotic liberation are secondary to other issues. There seems to be some factor here, that we are calling eroticism, which is a kind of connective link between ourselves and another, to the planet, to our own quality of being.

Where I'm heading with this is that some time soon after each individual's genesis I have a strong sense of our being alienated from our roots in eroticisim-in the earth, in our bodies. Here I take a cue from Audre Lorde when she suggests (in her pamphlet, Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power; Out & Out Books) .that" "The erotic is the nurturer or nursemaid of all our deepest knowledge".

Eroticism is important "stuff" ! And I envision us as potential "warriors" of sensual delight, and "champions" of play. Yet, is this not one of the most potent of shadows we dance before those who fear the calling of their desires. "For as we begin to recognize our deep est feelings," Audre further suggests, "we begin to give up, of necessity, being satisfied with suffering, and self-negation, and with the numbness which so often seems like their only alternative in our society."

I'm beginning to define eroticism in part as a quality of relationship between the earth and my self(body) ; and as a wellspring of life and power. This is often more evident to me when I step into the woods alone. "Things" can get narrowed down to my body and what's there.

The expanded exploration of eroticism that I am doing catalized further by R.F.D. coming to Atlanta, is ex citing and hard work. I'm more conscious of the cen tral role eroticism plays in my life, especially my "creative life". I'll dare to ask for more of the changes that will take me through my body, his body. And somehow I sense a new innocence about to be given birth.

I spent some time alone in the French-Canadian Province of Quebec last sultrier, and was surprised to discover whole-new levels of eroticism within myself. Nudity became essential. Plants were gentle playful seducers. I realized deeply how the earth, and we also, need

GIB: The thing that turned me on about that was having a personal, emotional involvement with music. I thought it was sort of appropriate that today we were going to talk about erotica, I find music erotic. JIM: Well Max, what do you find erotic? MAX: Well, armpits are real erotic. You mean out of the ordin ary erotic? You know, the standard stuff. You know— men, parts of menJIM: 'em?

What do you like to do with

TYPICALLY EROTIC MOMENTS From the very first moment when I saw you, I KNEW you were for me. You stood there staunch and firm, taunting, no fly-by-night will-o-wisp was going to take you. While not for everyone, a chosen initiate you would welcome. You would not be one to pursue. No, rather, you wait for the bold or the foolish. I, circling around, made discrete glances at you from all angles. Your full leather showed the freshness which there is in a spirited soul, detail in stitching and fit which revealed every line, and, also, some wear. You were not raw and untried. The rich tooling of this outer skin, the dark, rich color, the smell of the leather drew me further. And I decided I must give myself to you. I plunged forward to you and the rush set you quivering like an oak beset by a gusting northerly. Part of you turned almost with disdain and reluctance, it seemed, but part remained, ready to respond. Your armor once cracked revealed a not-so-haughty, almost fragile being. The browning skin inside the sturdy shell said I-amyour-type-but-you-must-respect-me-I-will-stand-fastshould-you-assault-me-but-I-will-not-endure-abuse-Iwill-leave-you-then.

Beauty doesn't have anything to do with sex. Beauty has to do with beauty and sex has to do with sex. Andy Warhol - The Philosophy Of Andy Warhol The only psychological disadvantage of pornography is that it may instill unreasonable expectations in fa natical collectors... As someone once said, "When we are young we use pornography as a substitute for sex, when we are older sex becomes a substitute for porno graphy". If true, this is a sad comment. In the cons tant interplay between the need for Intimacy and the need for fantasy, neither should crowd the other out.

We started lovemaking then and there. Slowly at first I explored every line, searching for sense within the seemingly jumbled casts of characters. I ran my eager eyes over every hairline, strained to catchwords spoken, devoured every syllable, felt how early experience had been pressed into your very fiber. I learned the facets which you had gathered together and made your own, your signatures. And the time, we raced through expanding skies, laughing at the foibles of others and of each other. No novices now, we sped chapter by chapter, unencumbered by stances and idiosyncracies, time and cares. We were one. Climax. Then, poof, FINIS. Exeunt alii.

Charles Silverstein and Edmund White in The Joy Of Gay Sex Now the attitude toward pornography is typical of the whole anti-sexual attitude which precisely creates sadistic pornography - because they are not, by making laws, going to get rid of sexual desires or pornogra phy, but what they are going to do is combine sexuali ty and punishment.

Deus ex machina, cum and gone. I see you still from time to time. The physical closeness is gone, but we are of one mind, no more to be remaindered— separate, unequal. I will never forget you, Terrance Baskerville, love. I hold you dear. I see you now. You stand, staunch and firm, taunting, waiting for a newer, lovlier bibliophile.

Paul Goodman - Nature Heals. When he kissed my nipple I felt elbow-bone thrill

Bill Meneely reviews Publii Terentii Afri Comoediae, printed by John Baskerville, Birmingham, England, 1772

Allen Ginsberg - "After Thoughts" in The Male Muse

MAX: Gnaw 'em. Armpits are real nice about an hour after a shower and moderate exercise. They have a real faint odor ... it's not nervous perspiration ...

FRANK: There's a place on a man's body that is real erotic to me - I don't know if the tape recorder can get thisl But it's right in here (indicates thigh) What would you call that Jim?

JIM: I always thought something was erotic, something that I thought I was getting away with. Or, possibly being caught having sexual acts in public ...

JIM:

MAX: So if they legalized that and they legalized sodomy, would you become heterosexual?

FRANK: The superior border of the iliac crest— need I say more. On some people it's more defined than others but it's sort of the place where it's no longer your torso and it starts to be your leg.

Comment: Only if they made heterosexuality illegal! (Laughter)

JEFF:

JIM: Having sex in the ballpark so you're within in the boundary of the shadow. Balling in the ballpark ...

FRANK: JEFF:

The superior border of the iliac crest!

The hip area. Well it's not your hip, it's the inside of the hip. That line that goes to the pubic area?

Our senses are inextricably connected to our erotic thoughts. Things we see, hear, smell, taste and feel all have the potential of arousing our sexual desires. The force of a specific sensual experience depends on many known and unknown factors. For me, sexual arousal results from a variety of sensual input.

One of the most erotic experiences for me is a re peating one. This makes me wonder whether I'm aroused by the sense itself or by the memory it evokes. Each time I hear the last movement of Saint-Saens Symphony #3 (organ) I am turned on. Since the music itself is far less erotic than, for instance, Ravel's Bolero, Wagner's Tristan and Isolde, or Strauss' Elektra, I believe that the memory of the experience evoked by the music creates the eroticism.

Aside from the more universal and obvious sights which can be erotic, there are some details of the masculine physique that have special erotic connotations for me. Most of these have to do with hair. I can be aroused sexually simply by the pattern of hair on a man's arms or the way his hair falls on the back of his neck. Most arousing for me is a certain pattern of hair con necting his navel with his pubis. If its there, stir rings of my penis inevitably follow.

Many years before I came out (or realized conscious ly that I was gay) I had one of my very infrequent homo sexual encounters. "Somehow" I found myself at the apartment of the commander of my army reserve unit. There were several of us reservists there. "Somehow" I remained after the others had gone. The Major retired leaving me talking with his roommate, a musician. As the evening progressed we had a few drinks and listened to music. To the music of Saint-Saens Symphony #3 he became more and more familiar with me. I recall, final ly that he started touching my crotch, and as the sym phony concluded, he opened my fly and began playing with my penis. At this point my terror overtook my sexu al desires, and I bolted and fled. Acknowledging my sexuality in the early 1960's was just too threatening. To this day, I cannot hear the last movement of this symphony without becomming aroused, graphically reliv ing this erotic episode, and wondering what might have been if I could just have allowed it to happen. A very powerful sexual cue.

Smells and tastes frequently turn me on as well. Especially arousing are sweaty (not dirty) armpits and crotches. I recall one experience of picking up an attractive young man in Piedmont Park after he had compleated his jogging exercise. Although not especially exciting in other respects, the smell of his sweaty body was so erotic that I was immediately so highly aroused that the sexual act was consummated very quickly. This one-time, casual experience still remains one of my erotic highlights. Similarly, I can be easily aroused by the taste of a sweet anus or the feel of another man's semen on my penis.

Gene Loring

c 0> £

FRANK: It Just depends on what I've got to do next ... (Laughter) How Interested I m in getting beyond kissing there are many variables there. Eyes. I like eyes. FRANK: Well you can follow it downâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; or you can go back up, either way! JUAN:

DAVID: Faces. That's what I look at first. I like kissing right here between the neck and the chest ..

It sounds like a road

Comment:

JIM:

Well traveled!

It's the sternocleidomastoid

Comments:

(GENERAL HILARITY over adrenal hernias)

GIB:

Oh yes that's the place, oh yeah!

(Laughs)

How close is that to the nape of the neck?

FRANK: Well I like that and I like kissing too. Kissing is very erotic, on the mouth, over long periods of time.

(Jim explains, acts outâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; body tech)

Comment:

FRANK: So if you really wanted to stimulate some fire in a person ...

How long?

signals

2. In the gae American communities, many signals have become petrified. They have long ceased to be fun. They are boring and predictable. Some examples are: hankies, key chains, the long hard stare, dog collars, hankies, key chains, Crisco t-shirts, hankies, key chains, colored jockstraps, hankies, key chains, male-symbol earrings, tattoos, hankies, key chains, hankies, key chains, hankies, key chains. The supression of diversity in a culture for the sake of unity is sometimes referred to as fascism. On the other hand, some articles in The Advocate call it revoloutionary. What do you think ?

1. Men are not suddenly caught up in the act of making love. Certain things lead to it or point to it. Signals.

3. It is extremely difficult to wink at someone and maintain the long, hard stare. Smiling almost always results. Maybe if you practice winking at men freÂ quently you may eventually be able to keep the glazed, lustful look at the same time. On the other hand, the post-wink smiling condition might get even worse. 4. I was once seduced by a man who slowly ran his tongue across the palm of his hand while watching me. This signal did not mean that he wanted to be the top man in a bondage-shower session or that he was Greekactive, French-passive, Spanish-neutral. It was wonderfully non-specific. But I knew what he meant. Bet you do, too. 5. I have a friend who has a terrible time deÂ ciding whether to wear all his signals on the right or left side before he goes prowling. He has to anticipate what his mood will be several hours hence. Once, he saw The Man of His Dreams leaning against a bar. He was aghast when it dawned on him that they were both laden on the left side. Naturally, he had to rush to the John to transfer hankie, keys, assorted chains, nipple ring, etc. over to the right side. By the time he emerged, the perfect yin to his Adonis' yang, the cad had vanished. Boo hoo. 6. If you need to be specific about your needs, imaginative ways to convey them can be found. Consider Boy Scout merit badges. You could wear the canoeing badge for water sports; the one with knots to show a preference for bondage; the first aid badge for rough stuff. Discontinue this practice if anyone in San Francisco takes it up or if the Village People come out with a song about it.

Calvin Owens

Max Clore

DAVE: Yeah, please do! And I like nipples sucked and pinched and twisted. Up to a point. (Laughter) And then ach! no it's too much.

JIM: It runs from the eye down the cheek across this muscle over the nipple to the umbilicus and adrenal area ... Comment:

Insatiable appetiteâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; raises the kundalini

Comment:

DAVE: Yeah, tissue damage, that's the standard. I like .aces a lot, you know I look at faces. And asses. Defina-eAy look at asses. And penis size and crotch doesn't really mean that much to me you know. I look at asses. I like blonds and redheads but certainly have, not exclusively at all. I Just have more of a tendency, I Just gravitate more towards blonds and redheads. But there's some dark-haired men that I really think are ... wonderful. I like voices. I like the sound of a voice. There's a man I met up at Running Water Farm and I wanted to tell him that I'd like to call him every

...

DAVE: Where can I begin? I like having my hair stroked, that's really nice. You know, the back of my head and my neck? I like that a lot, Just to have my head stroked. Or like rubbing my arm, especially If somebody touches you gently. I've developed a real appreciation for nipples ... Comment:

No tissue damagge

Don't touch my tits ...

SEXUAL ETIQUETTE FOR OUR TIMES 1. It is unnecessary to stick your tongue (or dick) in everyone's mouths at gatherings in order to show affec tion. Memories lose their luster in the VD clinic. 2. It is quite rude and shocking to lean out the win dow and spit on passersby below. Particularly if your mouth is full of cum. 3. The hogging of bathroom facilities by fellators and sodomites is most unfair to those with legitimate scatalogical needs. What are they to do ? Shit in the sink ? Unless the facility has many stalls and the accoustics are such that slurps and moans are not going to bother those who are pee-shy, it is much more con siderate to take your trick home and sit him down on your own personal commode. Rudeness is NEVER revolu tionary . 4. Insistence on the use of condoms and sterile surgical gloves is not insulting, but, rather, shows deep con sideration for both (or all) parties involved.

5. Only the vilest of the vile would bring home a trick and then (without prior warning) insist that his lover be Included in all activities. People like this were surely raised among heterosexuals ! 6. The practice of fellating fruits and vegetables in public in order to demonstrate sexual tastes is con sidered somewhat vulgar in most circles and lacks or iginality, besides.

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7. Giving pet names to private parts often creates mixed feelings at best. In viting your boyfriend to send "Dickie" over and not inviting the rest of him can have a decidedly cooling effect on the relationship.

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9. Talking about past (or current) boyfriends while fucking your partner's brains out seldom enhances a feeling of union. However, singing arias or show tunes under such conditions can create a pleasant ambience.

TH A T

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Max Clore

OBSERVANCE

night, Just before I went to bed. And Just listen to him. His voice was so wonderful. He had this real kind of Southern accent but he was softspoken and he had a vibration— you know, it was real placating. I think I like things that are real exciting, real stimulating and then things that are reassuring. I guess they're both poles. Raven.

SCOTT:

Oh I'm so glad you said that!

RAVEN: I like it when men wear things on their wrists and their ankles and around their neck. Long hair. Butts. Chests. Big lips.

RICHARD: Max is definitely keeping this place light! I have— snakes, not to pick them up, but those shots that you see of snakes crawling through films— very erotic. Horses.

RAVEN: Bugs. I used to watch bugs, that's usually a turn-on— screwing. That's real interesting. MAX: What can you do with a bug on a personal level without harming it? (Laughter)

JUAN: Maybe you should give us a list of what you don't like, it'd be shorter!

JUAN:

Especially when fucking.

RICHARD:

RAVEN: A certain androgyny. If I'm alone in the woods other things become erotic, plants become erotic.

No!

I've never seen a horse ...

O O 2

But he is not leaving and I am not leaving and our breathing is all mixed up as our eyes yield to our hands and what we say to each other, whatever the words, can be distilled into a simple agreement to try to make love. The particulars of place and time of the day or night are always somewhat inconvenient as are buttons and buckles and shoes that tie. We are awkward as four year olds if we hurry and if we don't hurry, if we act as though we've not been followed and won't be chased apart by some demon large or small, we may create a little elegance as we unbotton and unbuckle physical mysteries, as our mouths open slowly like flowers, as words are hushed and his tongue is in my mouth inviting my tongue to follow his back into him to taste his mouth and be pushed by his tongue back into my mouth, inside me tasting who I am, inside me, inside him, inside me. And outside me he is a hand moving over my face, I am a hand moving over his shoulder down his arm finding another hand and lacing fingers together while his other hand finds my neck and moves slowly down my chest until his fingers smoothly touch in circles my nipples while his other hand and mine are fingers laced together and my other hand moves up and down his spine, moves slow between his shoulders down to the small of his back and up to the nape of his neck and his tongue finds my neck and then an ear and then I hear him breathing inside me warm and moist until I let go of a sigh and then another sigh as we have crossed the borderline between images we hold and holding one another.

TO TRY TO MAKE LOVE

{Author's Note:

To be read aloud or sounded as read silently)

There are pictures I carry around, feeling tones, words crafted into scripts I listen for. When I am hungry I seek food, my mind is a menu formed out of recipies I know by heart. When I am tired every street is a way home, every step is a step towards reclining, every breath I breathe seeks to be the last I’ll remember, my thoughts liquify and want to be dreams. This is true regardless of whether I spend the night alone. There are pictures I carry around, feeling tones, words crafted into scripts I listen for and after several days and nights where my body has passed through time alone my hearing is more acute, my pictures grow more vivid and start to move, what I feel is the space be tween me and any man I desire. I feel the air stir as we pass, 1 wait for our eyes to find each other if they will, for words to form if they will, if they will to form and make a bridge to span the air that stirs and spirals between this man and me. And I wonder if the light were different would he still look the same. And I wonder will my image match one he has somewhere deep in himself engraved. How well does he know his lines? Am I speaking too softly ? Whose hand will move first ? Am I making another mistake ? Will I know before he touches me, before we are so close that our breath is all mixed up and what if then I should want to get away and what if when I don't he does when the light is different and I am not close to ident ical to an image he carries somewhere deep in himself ? Whose fault would that be and whose disappointment ?

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We are holding one another, fitting our chests together, weaving our arms and legs to hold our breathing so close that we are a rhythm rising and falling in one movement, one movement that flows to seperate as we turn and lift. As one of us is still the other is a tongue finding nipples and belly, finding thighs and testicles, finding cock hard and taking hardness into soft mouth that moves slow and fast to taste cock and then to taste another mouth that makes the same journey down while four hands make their own journeys over buttocks and fingers find anuses to rub soft until softness yields to play and again we are inside each other, inside and out, turning and lifting, one movement that flows to sep erate, that rises and falls inside and out, that quick ens the flesh to passion, to breathing faster and deeper, faster and deeper still until we yield control and find our bodies out of our minds' farthest reaches. We are where flesh is no longer solid, skin is not a boundry, we are each other in each other, in each other until there is no other only rhythm that pulses and spirals and breathes deeper and faster, deeper and faster, deeper and faster until there is no holding back, no

holding back only holding and holding and holding until we are viscous liquid, semen and spit and sweat and tears afire in sacred alchemy, awash in timelessness, in deep sighs of release, in the tender embrace that is all that's left, breathing slow and deep, breathing back our distinctions slow and deep, recovering our names, remembering what time it is, wanting a drink of water, finding the toilet, needing to say somthing, and taking another kiss, this one succinct, and sighing again, slow and deep release, who we were 1s already a memory and we know once more what time it is. Leavetaking begets its own forms whether where we go is into sleep or into the streets that were our way to where we now depart. There is the question of con tinuity or the need to run away. What will become of the afterglow ? Who will we be the next time we meet and when will we meet again if we do ? Will the love we made make us sick or strong ? Are we satisfied and how long will that last ? If good lovemaking leaves us with so many questions is the confusion worthwhile or a cumbersome interference we ought to shun. And what does 1t mean that we can't get pregnant. Why does that feel like a lie ? And 1f it is and we are pregnant what is it we're to give birth to and from where and what in the world for ? What...in the world...for. Franklin Abbott 8 July 1982

RAVEN: mags.

JUAN:

j^r

I find that more erotic than all kinda of skin

MAX: You know I've found that by— Just by subtly glan cing to the left and noticing that my thumb vas Just over a body part.

Then you've missed a great deal.

RICHARD: But a very veil done thoroughbred. And then reading poetry. If somebody can do a good Job reading poetry.

RAVEN: I don't find reading things very erotic, not into reading about It.

I'm

ROD: Something that's really erotic to me is laying out in the sun, and really really hot from the fire of the sun, and perspiring freely and smelling that and a cool breeze will wash over you and all that perspiration, you Just feel like you're being caressed by the wind, it's wonderful. I had a vet dream that way once Just falling asleep in the sun, it wasn't anything I could remember dreaming about. I think

RAVEN: I kind of like it when there's partial nudity. I really like it during the spring when men start taking their shirts off, wearing tank tops. You've had that long deprivation all winter, visual deprivation and you get that partial nudity ... RICHARD:

copywrite 1982

It's that first rush, first sight ...

& r

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SENSUOUS HERBS ON YOUR WINDOW

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o <-+ n> Th is a rtic le is a d d r e s s e d to a ll fa e rie s w h o e n jo y g o o d s m e lls a n d p r e fe r to c o o k w ith th e b e s t o f

ingredients I find cooking with fresh herbs a veritable experience; it makes food taste better and far different than when you use the dried-up-store-bought stuff. Besides, I derive a definite sensual pleasure in growing, handling and eating all these wonderfully smelling and tasting plants. And, oh, what pride when I can tell the hunky dude I’ve invited for dinner that the cooking spices were grown by my very own precious hands. Being an apartment dweller must not discourage anyone from growing herbs, however, one has to select what will grow on a window sill. Sills are good for grow ing herbs and it makes a great deal of sense when you have a too shaded yard, no yard at all, or just to have the pleasure of fresh Pesto Genovese or chervil omelette during the winter months. Yum I Since I live in a third floor apartment, my closest ex perience has been with herbs that can grow in window boxes or indoors, that are attractive and also useful. Denizens of farms, and those of us that have use of a yard can grow all these beauties on the ground, but winter comes to us all In the largest part of the country, so when fresh herbs disappear from the local markets (if any), turn to your window for some. Here is a list of herbs that can do well indoors, as well as outdoors. All you need is a sunny location or space in your yard perhaps, even in planting areas of the side walk; and in no time you'll be enjoying fresh happen ings in your kitchen (or pipe): Chervil (A n th ris c u s c e r e fo liu m j annual Summer Savory (S a tu r e ja h o r te n s is ) annual Oregano (O r ig a n u m v u lg a ris ) perennial Rosem ary ( R o s m a r i n u m o f i c i n a l i s ) tender perennial Sage (S a lv ia o fic in a lis ) perennial Thyme, variua (T h y m u s v u lg a ris x, e tc .) perennial Basil ( O c im u n b a s ilic u m ) annual Chives (A lliu m s c h o e n o p ra s u m ) perennial Lemon balm (M e lis s a o fic in a lis ) perennial Marjoram (M a jo r a n a h o rte n s is ) annual Salad burnet (S a n g u is o r b a m in o r ) perennial Marihuana (C a n n a b is s a tiv a ) annual Parsley (P e tro s a lin u m c ris p u m ) bi-annual Although not necessarily easy to grow, I have been successful with all kinds of mints (Mentha rotundifolia, piperita, etc.), catnip (Nepeta cataria ), ginger (Zingi ber oficinalis) and a variety of small hot peppers (Cap sicum frutescens, etc.) as well as the ornamental Jeru salem cherry or Christmas cherry (Capsicum pseudo capsicum).

rosemary, thyme, oregano, lemon balm, marjoram, etc. Make sure they are planted to receive southern sun, protect them from drafts and provide extra cover when the weather is too extreme. If temperature tends to stick way down for long periods where you live, plant in large pots or tubs and bring indoors, keep the plants in a cool, sunny area and take out in the spring, but be careful to re-acclimate for outdoor living by taking out at first for short periods and outdoors time should increase daily. For sill growing, these babies must have a large enough pot, well drained soil and lots of sun; chervil doesn't need so much sun, so if you seed in late summer, keep the seedlings on the cooler side and winter will find you prepared for the best salads, fish and of course, omelettes. I fertilize every time I water using fish emulsion (availabel anywhere plant things are sold), but let the plants dry between waterings, especially basil, thym e, m arjoram , o reg ano and marihuana. Spray when attacked by spider mite, white flies, mealy bugs, etc. with a product 1-Bomb . . . it works and if you wash the harvest before using, not poisonous. On the subject of Cannabis sativa, I would be glad to share in the next publication, all I learned about growing this marvelous plant, while I lived in Colombia (South America). Using "intensive care” brings the utmost potency in the finished product and minimizes possibilities of recognition by unwanted persons. And why it works

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As many of these are perennial, if you have outdoors planting facilities, with some care in planting, you can keep them outdoors to enjoy from year to year; since most will not survive extended periods of temperature below 20 degrees F; a cold frame should do the trick (if growing in your area fits this description), on such as

Raven

ing this liquid that's called honeydev and it's Just like sugar water, except real thick. it was Just all the sensations that were going on when I fell asleep, I was so relaxed. And I find woods to be a real erotic place too, ever since I read what Anthony Huxley said about plants and their sex lives, that walking through a field in the merry month of May is enough to make the Kama Sutra look like a bishop's tea party! Because it really is. And I think about that a lot when I'm out in the woods and there's a lot happening when there's a lot blooming going on and every thing, bees are going craxy.

JXJAN: You know what the word orchid comes from? It's the word In Greek for genital sac, orchus. MAX: JUAN:

It's Just from the balls. And many orahids do have a resemblance to it.

MAX: I think the spine is real erotic too, the back area to the touch. One thing that I've learned from reading this book about Japanese courtesans, there's a ritual they go through that's called the stairway to heaven. And what they do is they plant a real soft kiss on every vertebra, starting with the very lowest, the tailbone, the coccyx. And they go all the way up, it's like 10

MAX: You know I think orchids are real erotic because around their sexual parts they start secret-

LJashroom

Romance One day, in the washroom...Delights ? Here ?— in the washroom...Wow!.. .Hmnrnm...Stal 1. Checking the door-crack. Han ! Miiinmnumm... Plaid-red shirt. Jeans. Ooooooohhhhh, waiting cock... Flirtacious one, this city-lumberjack. Does he like me ? Eyeing me, the door swings. I touch him... He touches me... Click. We CONNECT. Lights buzzing highlight our defiant--washroom romance! February

Deni

xo.

But to roam my body take off your shoes.

Calvin Owens

Jean Genet - The Parade r in Treasures Of The Night

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seconds apart between each kiss, and by the time you get to the shoulder blade area the person y o u ’re doing this to is going absolutely bananas. It's wonderful— I highly recommend it. RANDY: I like just laying in bed with somebody and lightly touching ... haring someone run his fingers through the hair on your body and not touching the skin ...

JUAN: I like swimming nude in the ocean especially when it's warm. It's wonderful in lakes too. Waterfalls are wonderful too. And I like smells, some times plants and herbs are certainly erotic. And I certainly enjoy reading porno and looking at pictures. Naked torsos, especially if they're hairy. Certainly naked thighs and legs. RICHARD: How about knee length socks? I'm not being facetious either. There was some dude in the gym about a week ago and he had on a pair of white knee socks and I looked at him ...

ROD: I like to lie down in the grass Just after i t ’s rained, nude, and roll in it, make love in it.

DAVE:

FRANK: Sometimes I go to the rose garden in Piedmont Park and there's no one around— much— and I can Just really get all the way down into those ro3es and it's so sensual, it Just feels like skin to me.

I think water is very erotic.

RICHARD: Does anybody have their car windows open? think it's going to get erotic outside! Is there going to be lightning? Wonderful!_________

O O O o ,.

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Love for a man Sets me free Lets me do things To show my feelings Nip you gently Feel your skin Graze your nipple Bulge of muscle Curve of lips Smooth ass inviting iegs spread expectantly I give you my tongue All over to eat you Hard by wanting To know you inside Slowly entering Pulsing ring Around my heart Pulls gently You are in me too now Throbbing the life Flows as 1t slides In together Out and plunging deeper Building unfathomably Whithin me Hot rushes Groin tingles I scream You explode Volcanic eruptions Gushing come. By: Gibson Higgins Copyright by author 1982

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SAVING SEED By: Master Bater With a title like "s a v i n g s e e d " you might think this article is about gardening, but it is much more per sonal than that. This is actually a piece of mastur bation. The Yogis say you only have so much energy and a correct channeling of that energy will advance you cosmically. That reasoning is used to promote the ideals of absten tion from sex in general and masturbation in particular. It sounds great (to some) on paper, but I have never been able to keep the practice up very long and now have no desire to do so. So if you are going to masturbate, why not save that seed? Stained sheets are a bitch to get clean anyway so here are a few ideas on saving seed or at least re cycling it. I am not sure of the exact internal anatomy of the penis but by putting pressure with the thumb and middle finger at the base of the penis while erect, you can prevent blood from escaping back into the body and intensify the orgasm. If you get your finger in the right location (experimentation is the best method), you can prevent the ejaculation of sperm. After years of experimentation I get the rush of orgasm with none of the mess. Admitted ly sometimes the sperm comes out when you release press ure at the base of your penis but often you will have saved your seed for a more eager receptacle. An alternative method is to recycle your seed. That re quires use of some yoga postures, I am sure much to the horror of some Yogis. The "shoulder stand" and "plough" positions give you the right angle and then it is a mat ter of a strong shot and good aim. The visualization as you masturbate is that of the snake grasping its tail or the energy (sperm) coming out (your penis) and going in (your mouth). Granted, sometimes you miss and it is cum on the face and beard, but usually most of it will get in your mouth.

James Broughton - Shaman Psalm

I use the first method much more than the second. While I can claim to have developed the first technique, I read about the second in a journal from the Men's Center in Portland, Oregon.

When the sperm wants as if the earth were cannot walk with the of wood chips; he is ling in the air.

Masturbation is a joy and keeping your seed off the she ets and out of the wastebasket I believe to be a better way. Try it out!

to move and does not, then it 1s not made for me at all, and I cricket voyaging over his Gobi too free for me. I hear a how

DAVID: I always thought flies would bother you! (HYSTERIA) DAVID: Oh taking a shower when you've gotten real high (stoned) in the dark!

JIM: It was bad enough when you had dick breath, now y o u ’ve got flies bothering you!

Comment:

JUAN: Dick breath, penis breath— that should be sexy. Pecker breath.

Put a candle in the bathroom ...

ROD: Rotten bananas, bananas when they've gotten really soft and they taste good too. Comment: DAVE:

Is that what he's saying?!

DAVE: There are a lot of situations that are erotic to me— like having sex in a park, or outdoors, or in an office.

(Laughter)

JUAN:

Rod isn't it real sticky though?

Or in sin airplane bathroom.

BENJAMIN: I was a cocktail waiter at an old mansionrestaurant in Alabama and there was this guy, young guy

ROD: It's worth doing if you get sticky but it lasts a long time. (Laughter) Usually it's Just real sliny.

Getting venereal disease is nothing more than al lowing pig-messages about faggot sexuality/promiscuity/ lifestyle to affect us in a negative way. When the pressure is too great and u e can no longer bear the hatred, ignorance, and fear of others, we are the most susceptible to believing that we are evil, that gay sex uality is a sickness', that we deserve it. All the Dr @ Clinic today had to do was think to himself that it is my punishment for using sex in any other than the procreative reproductive way. Pleasure is not some heinous sin to feel guilty about. 1 can not live my life as an apology for being a faggot, and i will not. I seek pleasure, i seek love, i seek majik, three things our culture teaches us we must despise/destroy/distort at all costs. Even, as faggot suicides aver, at the cost of our lives. Witness queerbashing; the cost is our lives. We must resist our selfhatred and turn it on a real enemy. The creator of the pig-messages, that straight-man-demon in our minds and bodies is the enemy to fight. We are faggots and unless and until we re ject hetrocentrist values completely we will continue being destroyed. Aurora Corona

vXnot after 5 , though. My lover etc. f etc.

1982

A number of folks in the editorial collective felt that Aurora's article needed some response. We talked about it and found two "areas of reply" where there was agreement. - Let us not loose sight of the fact that while inter nal and external opression make us vulnerable, we ex pose ourselves and others to numerous dangers when we separate CARING and CAREFULNESS from sexual expression Let us assume our share of responsibility. - We wonder if there might not be some gay pig-message at work in many of our lives too. Much as we may not like to acknowledge it, we are threatened by a health crisis. Responsibility to ourselves and to our commu nity would seem to require that we take a long hard look at how we conduct ourselves sexually. Juan Martinez David Bassett Wain Vincent Gary Kaupman

THE MALE SEX MACHINE *

BANISHMENT OF GUILT

The Male Sex Machine is always ON!

Too young, too old, never good enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

It moans and grinds to the beat of a score of pounding fists clenching tools and reaching toward climax!

Too fat, too skinny, never good enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT. Too loud, too quiet, never good enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Some sides have doors to enter-others only holes--gloriously enlarged thru use!

Too plain, too flashy, never good enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT. Too lazy, too busy, never good enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Peak in, probe in, lips, tongues and tools all go in leave some a part within drooling down the inside wall.

Too black, too yellow, never white enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT. Too butch, too fem, never straight enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Some kneel at the portals-worshiping the shrine within; Others stand pressed hard chest to knee to feel--between the space that separates

Sissy, pansy, faggot and fairy. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT. Bulldyke, tomboy, lessy and queer. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Heads over-looking heads under peeking all seeking a glimpse--and a rise! Messages and codes of contact quickly agreed on soft paper-and lost. Size becomes an object-quantity an obsession! Feet tapping, coughs and latches opened--are all signals. Thru it all elusive is the "eye." "Don't try to reach me," they seem to say. "Touch--but only the part--seek not the whole of me." "Look but do not remember or speak to me of what you see." "Experience but do not expect Understanding."

Too much sex, never work enough. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT. Tell yout father and your mother and your sister and your brother. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Raven

Tell the preacher and the sister and the prleat and the pope. NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

It is only a sex machine-and whether you participate or not your maleness is a part of it.

NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

It feeds itself and drains you--like a flush!

NO MORE GUILT. NO MORE GUILT.

Sister Merry Media, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

It is the Male Sex Machine! * Available at your local tea room. Wain Vincent

FRANK: I thought that men were more look like men I knew growing up, and of white men who looked like me, you hair and brown, very WASFY, so black or Jewish men or Chinese.

very prepette and he kept slipping notes to me on a napkin. But we got in the elevator and I stopped it between floors and we smooched for what seemed like an eternity 1 And then you get this banging on the door. But that was marvelous, that was so romantic and fleetÂ ing. I like necking outside, smooching in the trees. There was a drive-in in Orlando and we used to sneak in and smooch under the bleachers on our blanket. JUAN:

Comment: JUAN:

Oh, Chinese men I

erotic that did not I grew up with lots know red and blond men or Italian men

(Laughter)

Chicano!

FRANK: And Iranians. Oh God there are some fucking beautiful Arabians. Like those Iranian demonstrations.

Smooching by the beach at night in Puerto Rico. JIM:

RAVEN: I wasn't going to say this because Lynwood's here but I had thought that black men were more erotic than honky boys. From time to time.

I don't care who it's death to!

(Laughter)

JUAN: Teheran was a very gay city, I was there before the pleasantries of the Ayatollah ...

JONATHAN & DAVID

He said he loved him as his own soul. David said he loved him more than any woman and as his own soul also. And that was their fearless pact unbroken.

I 0 David in your love for him we exalt. Jonathan your brother who hid you away from the wrath of his own father the jealous King. In your love for him "more wonderful than the love of a woman* 1 your grandsons this day exalt. We would gladly die to love as well if we knew how or could remember.

II When first they professed their love and bound their souls together before Yahweh in the fields of Judah Jonathan, oath sworn, took off his cloak and with it all of his armor belt, bow and sword and he lay them before David his beloved in that open field and "they kissed each other and both shed many tears".

FRAJIJC: The first erotic picture I ever s&v, it was a picture from the Bible of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Comment: Max:

YOU TOOT!

Ill

Jonathan took David by the hand and to be alone they went out into the fields, "the pair of them," bearded hawks sons of Yahweh warriors and tenderest lovers. The pair of them went out into the fields there to be alone with each other to plan David's escape to save David.

Time and again Saul the annointed of Yahweh Jonathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father, determined to end the life of David his clear succesor. Each time the son thwarted the father

MAX: I've always been real attracted to the idea of tying somebody up. Not tying them up to do something to them. Just tying them up. RA3YDY: JUAN:

The Prince Charming syndrome. William Burroughs.

All tied up!

Frank: And it was this beautiful man vho was about to be put on this slab of stone.

MAX: Oh men vith casts on their legs. MMMM! (Laughter) I always liked the idea of carrying someone upstairs vith a cast on their leg and throwing them on the bed!

Consent:

DAVID:

RA5DY:

Tie me up and put me on a rockt!

It vas like St. Sebastian, he vas all tied up.

Walking around Lenox Square with a hard-on?

BENJAMIN: It's been done. You were saying sleeping in your parents bed.

This boy,

each anger the son soothed in the father each vile humor of Saul Jonathan met with his love for David and so David was spared. VI At the mouth of the cave where David and his men were resting Saul came with three thousand men. When David answered Saul's battle cry with the love of a son Saul saw that his reign was over that his son's lover was the next annointed. And he lay his wrinkled warrior's brow on the dust before David's feet. VII Beautiful and holy were their cocks erect holy their assholes gladly yielding. Their hands touching everywhere cleansing like rain their hair and skins. On matted grasses in a sprawl of armor they lay together one last night.

The fires of autumn flickering in their brown eyes they pressed bellies and lips together unceasingly until dawn. When they parted weeping. VIII When the red blood of Jonathan mingled with his father's on the Philistine battleground David was not there. At the burial site he sang an elegy of purest love between soul bound brothers And Jonathan was called hero who lay cold save in the burning memory of his other half, and in ours. In Israel their love was sanctified and David came to be the protector of Jonathan's crippled son and of his memory, precious it was and is precious as their souls which were one.

one time we had an accident in Mobile and we lived on opposite sides of the bay so we got to sleep in a friend's bed and slept in their daughter’s bed and all these French Provincial things hanging on the walls. Screwing in a nursery-like setting— it was really cute. Like violating a five year olds bed. Another time we were staying with a friend in Birmingham and we slept in his parents’ bed, and everytime I go over there and see his parents, I think, oh, if you only knew what we were doing in your bed!

Jonathan takes David his soul by the hand and they walk out together in the sun of day righteous before their fathers and in the sight of all people. They are wandering in that plain stopping now and again in time to adjust a sandal or to kiss. They preside together from that sun beaten place over binding trusts made anywhere by brothers who love under an open sky.

Chris Beyrer

1*-

guy, dark beard and fair akin ... DAVE: I had a barber who wa3 older when I was in high school and I wasn't particularly attracted to him, but I Just liked that situation ... ROD: And also the fact that I d on’t think he had any idea what I was doing, he had no idea what he was doing to me by touching my scalp. Comment:

ROD: I remember getting turned on by the barber, before I came out socially. And I got turned on by him cutting my hair and shaving my neck, and his crotch would be pressed up right against my arm and sometimes IVd push my arm up against him and Just go crazy! I thought he was somewhat attracted, this hunky Italian

I tell you they're better educated these days.

MAX: I used to ride a bus from Buford Highway and there was this guy who used to get on about two blocks after me and he would promptly fall asleep and then his leg would start pressing against mine, you know, real imperceptibly.

LOVE SONG

It is diffult for someone to admit that he has syphi lis. Syphilis is not just a virus but an ideology too; it forms a phantasy whole, like the plague.

When the morning dew is heavy upon the meadow in thick disguise, people there in darkness lying waiting for the sun to rise; be so careful when you're walking for you may stumble across one you know asleep there soundly among the grasses until the dawn begins to glow.

Guy Hocguenghem - Homosexual Desire. Sex is politics. - Gore Vidal

Indefinate Pleasure

Early one morning as I was passing thru the meadow, feet heavy with dew I happened to stumble upon a body whose eyes were open as though he knew; their oatmeal greyness cut the darkness and pierced my own with love to give; I felt he was longing for the warmth of someone who might leave him a will to live.

Poesy - pleasure, not truth Whenever a versifier adorns his song with the pleas ing and innocent imagery of this type of composition, or borrow its mild and sweet atmosphere, he is forthwith condemned (the attitude toward) the simple description of ideal beauty, or the straightforward presentation of pleasing images for no other purpose than to delight the fancy.

He asked me to kneel in the damp beside him and wait for the sun to dry the air; so I knelt gently and founji warmth beside him and slipped my fingers thru his cornsilk hair; first we drank of of each other's spirit, then he breathed between my thighs; the new day wind sang among the grasses as we drank the dew of the morn's sun rise.

Dream # 39 Did you feel me about you last night? I felt you and I was warm. I can still smell the fragrance of YOU near me. If only in my dreams, you came to me last night and filled the darkness within me, like the soft light of a candle... I can still smell the incense burning - intoxicating over-whelming me as you have done. The blanket of my nakedness wrapped close against my skin - my body; as the sun begins to awaken the earth; awakens to you... I lay now, warm and glowing from the passions of my mind - and I know that we were lovers: If only in my dreams.

We slept embraced upon the meadow until the sun had warmed the day, and hid our tears beneath’ our eyelids for each would leave on our own way; when the morning dew is heavy upon the meadow in thick disguise I wait there in darkness lying for the morning sun to rise.

Snowflake Wain Vincent

ROD: A beautiful man fell asleep right next to me on the Greyhound and he Just kept sliding over and sliding over more until he was almost in m y lap, so I put my book and had ny hand on his biceps covered by my book. And he woke up and got scared ,..

legs. Hairy legs Just always turn me on ... And I'd have a front row seat through it all! MAX: I used to get an erection being an altar boy in Episcopal church ...

FRANK: When I was in Junior high school I used to get an erection on the school bus. Comment:

JUAN: A friend of mine whenever his sex life was sagging would Join a convent for a few months.

Oh yes!

JIMMY: One thing I find real erotic is to be under some kind of stress or tension when I'm having sex, like I love to be up on my toes and fingertips or one hand under one leg and I like that in other people too. When I find someone who Just wants to lay there ...

FRANK: Bouncing up and down and then I'd have to carry my books like a girl! ROD: I had this instructor and he would sit and he wore a Jockstrap. Oh he was Just gorgeous— I think he wore a Jockstrap the way his crotch would always stick up, coming up, and he'd sit with his legs spread and some times he wouldn't wear socks and I could see his hairy

Comment: DAVE:

Men that are lying on their backs.

Or on their stomachs!

Finally he broke the silence. His voice was deep and resonant ... yet very soft. He didn't look at me as he spoke, but his hand pressed my back just a little harder. .... "Well, I guess tonight's the night. ready?"

Is everything

.... "As ready as it'll ever be," I answered, I rested my own hand lightly on his heavily muscled thigh. The touch turned me on, and I began to stroke it softly as I continued to speak.

It was midnight. There was a full moon, and the sky was clear. The stars glowed brightly. I stretched and took a deep breath of the warm night air.

.... "I'm pretty nervous though. I mean ... I've never done anything like this before, and ..." I trailed off, looking at him uncertainly.

I was restless. The rustlings and stirrings around the farm told me I wasn't the only one. I lit a cigarette and listened.

He turned his head and looked at me. Then he put his arm around me and drew me close to him. My hand moved to his crotch as he held me tight.

Mosquitos whined. Flies buzzed. Moths fluttered. I heard faint scuffling sounds from the barn. Somewhere in the dark, a frantic squeak heralded the doom of some small creature. The place was alive with noise.

He kissed me then ... hard. His tongue probed deeply into my mouth, and I accepted it, sucking with all my might. Then it withdrew, and my tongue slipped Into his mouth. He squeezed me as we kissed. I couldn't breathe, but I felt no desire to break it off. It must have been all of ten minutes before we broke apart.

There were odors too, intensified by the heat of the night, and a faint breeze. The sweet smell of manure. The perfume of roses. The not-so-sweet aroma of the compost heap. All sorts of odors mingled on the breeze and assaulted my senses.

He put both hands on my shoulders and looked Into my eyes:

Normally, I would have relaxed and luxuriated in the hominess of it all. It was close. It was peaceful ... restful. But this was not a normal night. This was THE night. Tonight we were going to do Bill was conting over, and we were going to do IT The thought of TT excited me. We had thought of often. And now ... tonight ... we were actually to do i t .

.... "Hey, man ... there's nothing to worry about. It'll be fun. You'll see."

IT. together. it so going

I gave his crotch a quick squeeze and jumped down from the fence. Then I turned and put a hand on h1s arm. .... "I know it'll be fun. I'm dying from excitement. It's just that this is so new to me. You don't think she'll mind, do you?"

I started pacing nervously. I looked at my watch ... he should be here soon. My boots kicked up dust as I paced. I watched as the breeze caught it and swirled it away.

.... "What difference does 1t make if she minds or not?" He flashed me a quick grin and chuckled. "She ain't going to tell nobody."

My cigarette was down to the butt when I heard the sound of Bill's truck coming up the drive. There could be no mistaking the sound .of that engine. A minute later, and the truck swung round the bend and came into view.

.... "I know that ... but I don't want to hurt her too much. She's never done anything to hurt me. God! but she's a turn-on, though ... ain't she?"

My gut tightened with nervousness, and I lit another cigarette as I walked toward the truck. I don't usually smoke so much, but tonight I was nervous.

.... "She sure 1s. And tonight you're going to have her ... and so am I. The two of us together are going to do IT to her. C ’mon, let's get started."

Bill stopped the truck and jumped out. He took a deep breath that filled out his chest, squared his shoulders, and started over to meet me. He made a big show of trying to appear nonchalant, as if he did IT all the time, but he just couldn't hide the fact that~Ke was as nervous as I was.

We started walking arm in arm. The tension mounted 1n us as we each thought about mounting her. I could feel my body responding, and a quick glance at his bulging crotch showed me that h 1 s was, too. .... "Bill ... I want to use my hand in her too. don't think that'll hurt her too much, do you?"

We met at the fence. Bill gave me a sickly sort of smile, then climbed over. Leaning on the fence, he looked at me. I looked at him. Two little boys who were planning mischief ... only THESE two little boys were both adults.

.... "Hey ... that sounds like a great Idea to me. I think I will too ... w e ’ll make a real night of 1 t , huh? Naw ... I don't think it'll hurt her much at all."

We stood there silently for awhile, just looking at each other. I saw his faded jeans that stretched so tight over his rounded buns and bulged out so unbelievably at the crotch. I noticed the small rip, just above the right nipple, in his worn-out, sweat-soaked t-shirt. The breeze told me he hadn't showered for several days. I began to get very excited.

.... "Well ... here we are. or should I?"

Do you want to go first ...

.... "Let’s both do it together, huh? fun."

It'll be more

She must have had some idea of what we were up to, cause as we entered the barn, Elsie mooed.

He was looking me over too. I saw his smile grow less strained and more appreciative as his coldly blue eyes rested on my crotch. His eyes traveled up, and when our eyes met, I saw his smile change to a grin.

We sure DID make a night of it ... they didn’t find us until noon the next day ... today. Apparently we'll be seeing a lot of each other. The hospital 1s crowded, and we share the same room.

I clapped him on the shoulder and hopped up onto the fence. He joined me and we sat there companionably for awhile ... still in silence. After a few minutes, I felt his massive, calloused hand on the small of my back. He was incredibly gentle. His hand moved slowly ... softly kneading my spine.

The broken bones will take some time to heal. the hoofprints she left on our bodies. I don't think w e ’ll try doing jT again. ^ 47

So will

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i-CHAMBER MUSIC FOR DUOS, TRIOS, QUARTETS, QUINTETS, SEXTETS, SFPTETS, OCTETS, BUT NO, NO, NONETS

Listening to chamber music has been one of my primary passions for the last 2H years. Being a.singer, I've worked closely with guitarists, a lute, oud and viola da gamba player, a vihuelist, cellists, harpsichordists, pianists, recorder and flute players as well as a violin ist, violist and bassoonist. For me, my partners and listeners making music together has been a richly satisfying experience.

8 . Schumann: Fiinf Stdcke im Volkston (Five Pieces in Folk-Style) etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5111; or Odyssey 32160027 with Pablo Casals performing. 9. Antonio Vivaldi: Sonatas op.14 (complete) Paul Tortelier. Musical Heritage Society 30212/ cassette W C 2093F. Also: Sonata in a op. 14 and Luigi Boccherini's Sonata in C, etc. in an excellent 3-record Anthology of Italian Baroque Chamber Music. Nonesuch 73008; and Sonata in c op. 14 and other small ensemble pieces. Nonesuch 71077.

Following is a list of musical recordings for a variety of small instrumental combinations that can increase your "sound" appreciation. I'm sure there are many people out there who play an instrument. Maybe there's someone, or two or more, in your community who would like to play music. Try advertising in your local paper, or put up a sign on a public bulletin board. You could start a music society and help benefit your own area. I. Duos. Violin and^ Piano. 1 . Ludwig von fieethoven: Sonata #7 and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Sonata K.378. Isaac Stern. Odyssey V-3$223. 2. Johannes Brahms: Sonatas #1, 2, 3 and FAE Sonata. Toshiya Eto. 2-Nonesuch 73034/cassette 73034. 3. Cesar Franck: Sonata. Jascha Heifetz and Artur ftubenstein, etc. Seraphim 60230. 4. Leos Jancifek: Sonata. Sergio Luca, with Antonin Dvorak's Four Romantic Pieces and Bedrich Smetana's From My Homeland. Nonesuch 71350. 5. Sritz Kreisler: Violin pieces and arrangements. Misha Elman. Vanguard 367; Fritz Kreisler. RCA-Victrola VIC 1372. 6 . Mozart: Sonata K.454, etc. David Oistrakh. Mon itor 2005 (See Trios: Two Violins and Piano) 7. Francis Poulenc: Sonata, dedicated to gay poet Eederico~Safeia-Lorca, with Maurice Ravel's Sonata, and Berceuse sur le non de Faur£. Ronald Tarack. Sine Qua Non 2016/cassette 2016. 8 . Franz Schubert: Phantaisie and Rondo Brillant, etc. Sergio Luca. Nonesuch 71370. 9. Robert Schumann: Sonata #2, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5111. 10. Toninaso~VTTaTT7 Chaconne and Beethoven's Sonata #10. Frahm's Lullaby, etc. 0. Oistrakh. Monitor 2042. B. Cello and Piano/Harpsichord. 1. J. S'. Bach: Sonatas S. 1027/9. Andre Navarra. Nonesuch 71107 (also on Musical Heritage Society 1362M for viola da gamba and 719T for viola d'amore) 2. Gay composer, Samuel Barber: Sonata, with David Diamond's Sonata. Musical Heritage Society T375H. 3. Beethoven: Sonata #3 and Schubert's 'Arpegionne' Sonata. Emnanuel Feuermann. Seraphim 60117. 4. Michel de Corrette: Sonata in D (and Violin Sonata Tn D) etc. Turnabout 34010. 5. Gabriel Faur£: Sonatas #1, 2 and Elegie. Paul TorteTTerT Musical Heritage Society 833X. 6 . Benedetto Marcello: Sonata #2 in c , etc. Nonesuch 71119 (See Trios: Violin, Viola and Harpsichord) 7. Felix Mendelssohn: Sonata #2 and Beethoven's Variations on a Theme from The Magic Hute, etc. RCA-Victrola VIC 1476.

C. Viola and Piano. 1. Ernest Bloch: Suite for Viola and Piano, Meditation and Processional, Suite Hebraique, etc. Musical Heritage Society 14864. 2. Schumann: Marchenbilder, etc. 3-Vox SVBX5111. D. Clarinet and Piano. 1. 'Poulenc: Sonata, etc. Nonesuch 71033. E. Horn and Tiano. 1. Paul Dukas: Villanelle and Beethoven1s Sonata, etc. Dennis Brain. Seraphim 150040. F. Oboe and Piano. 1. Schumann: Romances, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5111. G. Flute andTiano/Harpsichord. 1. C. P. E. Bach: Sonatas. Jean-Pierre Rampal. Nonesuch 71034. 2. J. S. Bach: Sonatas (complete) Rampal. 2-0dyssey Y2-31925/cassette Y2-31925. Also: (not complete but played on Baroque flute) Voorhorst. 2-Seraphim S-6110. 3. Beethoven: Variations op. 105 and op. 107. Michel Debost. Seraphim S-60307. 4. Georg Frideric Handel: Sonatas. Rampal. 2-0dyssey Y2-32370/cassette YT-32371/2. 5. Franz Joseph Haydn: Sonatas. Rampal. Nonesuch 7104$. 6 . 01iyier Messaien: Merle noir, etc. Candide 31050 (See String Quartets) 7. Mozart: Sonatas. Rampal. Odyssey Y-32970/ cassette YT-32970. Also: Turnabout 34314 with Hechtl playing. 8 . Poulenc: Sonata. Rampal, etc. Odyssey Y-33905/ cassette YT-33905; or Carol Wincenc playing on Musical Heritage Society 4180. 9. Carl Reinecke: Sonata "Undine." Ramoal. etc. RCATAGL1-4141. 48

III. Quartets. A. String Quartets (2 Violins, Viola and Cello) 1. Juan Crisostomo TTrriaga: Quartets # T T T . Musical Heritage Society. 717Z. 2. Beethoven: Quartets #1-6 op. 18. Hungarian Quartet. 3-Seraphim S-6005; or Budapest Quartet. 3-0dyssey 32360023; #7-11 op. 59, 74, 95. Hungarian Quartet. 3-Seraphim S-6006; or Budapest Quartet. 3-0dyssey Y3-33316: #12-16 and Grosse Fugue op. 127, 130/1/2/5. Hungar ian Quartet, 4-Seraphim S-6007; or Yale Quartet. 4-Vanguard/Cardinal 10101/4; or Budapest Quartet. 4-Odyssey 34644. 3. Alexander Borodin: Quartet #2, which includes the famous nocturne, and Shostakovich Quartet #8 . London STS-15046. 4. Brahms: Quartet #3 and Schumann Quartet #1. London STS-15427. 5. Frank Bridge: 3 Idylls and 3 Noveletten, and gay composer, Benjamin Britten's Quartet, etc, London STS-15439. (See Oboe Quartet) 6 . Debussy: Quartet and Ravel's Quartet. Turnabout 37001/cassette 7001; or London STS-15440. 7. DvoljS’k : Quartet #10, etc. London STS-15399; Quartet #13 op. 106 and #12 "American," etc. 3-Vox SVBX 550; Cypresses (2-12) etc. 3~Vox SVBX 551. (See String & Piano Quintets) 8 . Gabriel Faure: Quartet, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5100. 9. Grieg: Quartet, etc. Budapest Qr. Odyssey Y-35637. 10. Gay composer, Charles Tomlinson Griffes Two Sketches on Indian Themes and Loefflerrs Music for 4 Stringed Instruments. Daniel Gregory Mason's Quartet on Negro Themes. lenjamin Trank1 in‘s Quartet, etc. 3-Vox SVBX

H. 2 Pianos. 1 . Mozart: Sonata in D, K.448. Alfred Brendel and Walter Klein, etc. Turnabout 34064. I. Piano/4-Hand. 1. Brahms: Waltzes. Dvorak: Legehds. Edvard Grieg: Norwegian Dances. Schubert: Marches. Walter and Beatriz Klein. Turnabout 34041. ^ 2. Claude Debussy: Petite Suite and Faure's Dolly, etc. W. & B. Klein. Turnabout 34234. 3. Ravel: Ma mere 1 ‘oye. Debussy's Epigraphes antiques, and Darius Milhaud's Scaramouche. W. & B. Klein. Turnabout 34235. 4. Schubert: Sonata in C and Allegro in A. Alfred Brendeland Evelyn Crochet. Turnabout 34516. J. 2 Violins. 1. Pablo de Sarasate: Navarra, etc. David & Igor Oistrakh. Monitor 2009. K. Viol in and Viola. 1. Mozart: Duos K.423/4. Odyssey Y-35228. L. Violin and Cello. 1. Ivan Khandoshkin: Variations on a Russian Folk Theme, etc. Leonid Kogan and Mstislav Rostropovich. Monitor 2019. (See Sextets) 2. Ravel : Sonata, etc. Nonesuch 71355. M. Violin and Guitar. 1. Nicco'lo Paganini: various pieces. Turnabout 37006/cassette CT-7006. N. Mandolin and Harpsichord. 1. Beethoven and Joha~mT Nepomuk Hummel. Nonesuch 71227. 0. Recorder and Harpsichord. 1. Jean-Baptiste Loeillet: Sonata op. 1, #1, etc. Nonesuch 7l064/cassette N5-71064.

--- -----

B. C. D. E.

F. G.

11. Haydn: Quartets (3) op. 71. Vanguard HM4r. Quartets (3) op. 74. Vanguard HM42; Quartets (6 ) op. 76. Fine Arts Quartet. 3-Vox SVBX 596; or Budapest Quartet. 3-0dyssey Y3-33324. 12. Jana<?ek: Quartets #1 and 2. London STS-15432. 13. MendeTssohn: Quartets #4 and 7. London 5T5-IWT 14. Messaien: Quatuor pour la fin du temps (Quar tet for the End of Time) etc. Candlde 31050. IE. Mozart: Quartet #20 "Hoffmeister," etc. Nonesuch 71035E. 16. Arnold Schoenberg: Verklarkt Nacht "Transfigured Night," etc". Turnabout 37012/cassette 7012. 17. Schubert: Quartet #10, etc. London STS-15410. 18. Schumann: Quartet #3, etc. Vanguard HM83 (See Piano Quintets) 19. Shostakovich: Quartet #3 and 1. London

Aorzonski. Turnabout 34411/cassette CT 2171; or Thibaud, Casals, Cortot and Trio in G "Kakadu." Seraphim 60242; or Kogan, Gilels, Rostropovich. Monitor 2010E/cassette 55010: or Stern, Rose, Istomin on a "special-buy" 3-record Columbia album 035-799 with Brahms exquisite Trio #1, Schubert's Trio #1 and Mendelssohn's Trio #1. 2. Brahms: Trio #2 and Beethoven's Trio #4 "Ghost." Odyssey 32160361. 3. Schubert: Trio # 2 & 1, etc. 3-Vox SVBX-600 or 3-Vox SVBX5110. 4. Dmitri Shostakovich: Trio #2, etc. Sine Qua Non 203^ 5. Gay composer, Peter Ilytch Tchaikovsky: Trio. H. & Y. Menuhin, M. Gendron" Arabesque 8014/ cassette 9014; or the Eastman Trio. Turnabout 37017/cassette CT 7017. 2-Viol ins and Piano. 1. J. S. Bach: Sonata in C, etc. D. & I. Oistrakh. Monitor 2005. Violin, Viola and Harpsichord. 1. Jean-Marie LeClair: Trio Sonata in D op. 2, #8 , etc. Nonesuch 71119. Flute, Viola and Harp. 1. Debussy: Sonata, etc. Turnabout 34161. (See Septets) Clarinet, Viola, Piano. 1. Max Bruch: Trios and Schumann's Marchenerzahlungen, etc. Turnabout 34615; or Schumann's Marchenerzahlungen only, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5111. Oboe, Viola and Piano. 1. Charles Martin Loeffler: Rhapsodies, etc. Eastman-Rochester Assn. ERA 1011. Flute, Cel 1o , Piano. 1. Carl Maria von Weber: Trio, etc. Turnabout 35179.

5TT-1W6'. " 20. Hugo Wolf: Quartet in D. Musical Heritage Socle tyT597. B. Piano Quartets (Piano, Violin, Viola, Cello) 1 . Brahms: Quartet # 1 . RudoTf SerkTn. Odyssey Y34638; Quartet #2. Clifford Curzon and Buda pest Quartet members, etc. 2-0dyssey 32260019. (See Piano Quintets) 2. FaunT: Quartet #2 and 1, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5100. C. Flute Quartets. 1. Mozart. Michel Debost. Seraphim S-60246. D. Oboe Quartet. 1. Britten: Phantasy, etc. London STS-15439. E . Other Combination Quartets. 1 . DvoFdk: Bagatelles for '2 violins, cello and harmonium, etc. London STS-15438. 2. Haydn: Quartet for lute and strings, etc. Turnabout 34227. 3. Johann Naumann: Quartet for glass harmonica, Flute, viola"and cello, and Mozart Adagios. Turnabout 34452. 4. Carl Stamitz: Quartets for winds and strings (Including flute, bassoon, oboe and horn) Nonesuch 71125.

IV. Quintets. AV String Quintets (usually 2 Violins) 1 • Brahms .'"Quintet #2 & 1, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 584. 2 • Anton Bruckner: Quintet and Intermezzo. London 5TTT54WT 3- Mozart: Quintets #3 & 4. Vanguard HM29; Quintets #5 ?, 6 . Vanguard S-194; or (complete) #1 -6 . Fine Arts Quartet, Tursi. 3-Vox SVBX 557, and Budapest Quartet, Katims, Trampler, 3-Odyssey Y35£33. 4 - Pvpr^k: Quintet in G op. 77 (Double-Bass) etc. S^oiTSVBX 551. 5 - Schubert: Quintet in C (Cello) Vienna Phil. Qr ana Trio in Bk. London STS-15384; or Casals Fest. Ens. Turnabout 34407. B. Piano Quintets. 1. Beethoven: Quintet for piano and winds, Abby Simon, and Serenade for flute, violin and viola. Turnabout 37004/cassette CT-7004; or Vienna Octet, and Mozart's Divertimento * 1 . London STS-15053. 2 - Franz Berwald: Quintets #1 and 2. Nonesuch 71113E. 3 - Bloch: Quintet, on non-budget Golden Crest 4191(0). 4 - Dvorak: Quintet, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 551- or ^-DcTyssey 32260019. 5 - Baur£: Quintet #2, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 5100. 6 - ^thur Foote: Quintet in a, etc. Turnabout 545^67 7* Franck: Quintet. Sviatoslav Richter. Monitor 20367 or Clifford Curzon, Budapest Qr. and Faurd's Piano Qr. #1 . Odyssey Y-33315. Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov: Quintet for piano andwinds, etc. London STS-15308. (See Octets) 9 - Franz Schmidt: Quintet in G and Variations on a Theme By 3osef Labor for clarinet, piano and string trio. London STS-15401. 10- Schubert: "Trout" Quintet, etc. 3-Vox SVBX 600/or 7-Vox SVBX 5110; also: Perlemuter, Pascal Qr. and Quarter #12 "Quartetsatz." Monitor S-2106. 11• Schumann: Quintet, etc. Vanguard HM83, or 2-Odyssey 32260019. C. Guitar Quintets. l y W c V h e r W T Quintet #7 and String Quintet op. 13 #5 which includes the famous minuet. Vanguard S-291; also: Quintet #3, etc. Vanguard S-295E. 0. Clarinet Quinte_ts. 1. Brahms': "Quintet and Richard Wagner: Adaqio Condon STS-15408. — 2 - ffizart: Quintet and Divertimento #10. London ST5-T5384/cassette 5-15384; or Turnabout 37013/ cassette 7013 with Quintet for Piano and Winds. E . Horn Quintet. 1 T Hozart: Quintet, etc. Monitor S-2114. F • Brass Quintets. l - Victor Ewafd: Quintets. Sine Qua Non 2012/ Advent Corp. cassette E-1066.

VI. Septets. 1. Beethoven: Septet op. 20. Musical Heritage Society 1153K, played on original period instruments; or 1062T, played on modern instruments. 2. Berwald: Grand Septet and Hummel: Septet op. 74. non-budget Vanguard 71260.' 3. Alexander Fesca• Septet #1 and Hummel: Septet op. 114. Turnabout 34493. 4. Ravel: Introduction and Allegro for Harp, Flute, Clarinet and String Quartet, etc. Turnabout 34161 VII. Octets. 1. Mendelssohn: Octet, etc. London STS-15308. 2. Mozart: Divertimentos #17 and K .136. London STS-15304. 3. Schubert: Octet. London STS-15436. In closing: The Musical Heritage Society, Musical Heritage Society Building, 14 Park Road, Tinton Falls, New Jersey 07724, is the best mail-order classical record and tape company in existence at the lowest prices for members. Write for information on becomino a member and ask for their catalog. It’s worth it! Also: There are two beautiful vocal recordings left out of last issue's article on "Voices." Tenor Peter Pears in a recital of Renaissance Lute-Songs with Julian Bream, lutenist. London STS-15556, and countertenor Alfred Deller and the Deller Consort performing medieval compos er Guillaume de Machaut's Messe de Notre Dame. Vanguard HM-1. Future articles will highlight Gay Composers and detail a representative Budget Record Library. ^

The FIRST NORTH AMERICAN GAY MEN'S MUSIC FESTIVAL will be held in Minneapolis, Minnesota sometime in summer 1983. Dates and a tentative line-up will be announced in the fall 1982. If you are a gay musician or know anyone in terested in appearing at the FESTIVAL, or to be placed on a mailing list for further information, contact: VOICES & VISIONS PRODUCTIONS PO Box 3549 Upper Nicollet Station Minneapolis, MN 55403

The THIRD GAY AMERICAN ARTS FESTIVAL will take place in Chicago from Friday, September 17, 1982 through Sunday, October 10 , 1982. Dozens of artists and Derformers-painters, singers, actors, dancers, and writers--will enliven the Festival which is the first to take place outside Mew York. Thirty-four different events will be o fered to the public, and most will be repeated to acco modate and encourage the largest possible public atten dance. Admission prices have been kept low, and diversity is the keynote of the Festival. Also significant is the diversity of locations: Events ranging from one-person ’ectures to full-scale theatrical productions will take place in eleven or more locations. More information is available from the Gay-Lesbian Arts Alliance, PO Box 14757 Chicago, IL 60614.

V. Sextets. IT Srafens: Strinq Sextets #1 and 2 . etc. 3 -Vox 5V B 7 T 8 4 . 2. Frnest Chausson: Concerto for Violin, Piano and String" Quartet on non-budget Orion 73134. 3. Manuel de Falla: Concerto for Harpsichord, Flute, Oboe, Clarinet", Violin and Cello, with the exquisite Nights in the Gardens of Spain. Turnabout 34588. 4 * Gordon Jacob: Sextet (Winds) and Jacques Ibert: froTs breves pieces and Mozart: Divertimento *14. Seraphim 60169. 5. Tchaikovsky: String Sextet "Souvenir of Florence, e"t<7 Ronitor 2019. 50

MucAdo A boui ly £du/ln Bridges They are very attractive to bees and butterflies,

One of the most showy, widespread, and versatile groups of summer wildflowers is the genus M onarda. The genus comprises about 20 species, di s tributed throughout temperate North America. Common names applied to Monardas include bee balm, bergamot, wild t ? r gamot, horseroint, oswego tea, lemon mint, oregano de la Sierra, pagoda p l a n t , and a host of others. Most Monardas are tall herbs with square stems and opposite leaves. The 2-6 inch long lance- to egg-shaped leaves have toothed margins. The flowers are in one or more rounded heads terminating the stem. SPECIES

RANGE

Mild medicinal properties have been attributed to various species of Monarda. The bergamots are used for digestive tract problems, often to relieve gas. They also function as mild general stimulants. The horseraints are used for the above, plus colds and mild fever. Monardas are somewhat interchangeable medicinally with varia tions in strength. The horsemints seem stronger than the bergamots, but none have effects so p o tent as to alter their use as a general beverage.

HABITAT

PLANT HEIGHT

FLOWER COLOR; TIME OF FLOWERING

s ■....... ................ ■--------------■■■■■im puim —nP

Usually one flow er cluster per stem, with green or slightly colored bracts bplow flower cluster-- Bergamot s .

Monarda didyroa Red Bergamot

streambanks, moist MI~*NY in rot n s . to G^ wo o d s , seepages

2*5' -4 '

red (to magenta); late June-Sept.

M. fistulosa Purple Bergamot

MN —>MA S. to AZ-K5A

med. dry prairies, w o o d s , roads ides

2 ' -4'

pale 1ilac/yellowpink; June-Sept.

M. menthaefolia Rocky Mtn. Bergamot

A l b . -►Man . S. to AZ-*TX

medium-dry to moist areas

1' -3 '

rose/purple; late June-early Aug.

M. clinopodia White Bergamot

O H —►PA S . to TN —K3A

moist woodlands

2 ’ -3 '

white/pale yellow/ pale lilac; June-Sept.

M. russeliana Ozark Bergamot

MO, AR, OK

rocky, dry, open woodlands/glades

1* -3'

white/pale lilac w/ ^ purple spots; Apr-June

Usually more tha n 1 flower clus ter per stem with cor>spicuou sly colored bracts below each clust er - -Horsemints .

M. punctata Yellow Horseroint

MN ->NY S. to F L —>TX

sandy soil{coastal plain, prairies

2' -3 ’

yellowish w/purple flecks; June-Oct.

M. citriodora Purple Horsemint

SC ->MO

glades, prairies, rocky pastures

2' -3 '

lavender/pink , not spotted; June-Aug.

M. pectinata White Horsemint

CO-vNE S. to AZ-VTX

sandy soil, over grazed grasslands

6"-15" white/very pale pink; j \ July-Sept .

'''

\A. \v

fragrant sweet nectar". Try sprinkling fresh flowers on salads or deserts. The edibility of Monarda leaves also varies with species and the age of the leaves--older leaves generally being more bitter. Our panel liked the "refreshing aftertaste" of white Bergamot, and found purple Bergamot to be peppery and somewhat b i t t e r . To collect bergamots and horseraints, snip the flowering stems below the lowest leaves, tie in small bunches and hang upside down in a warm, dark place for a few days or weeks until brittle. Strip leaves and flowerheads from stems and store in a sealed jar in a cool, dark place.

The use of Monardas for tea also varies with the strength of the various species. Some experi mentation with amount to use and brewing time may be necessary to find the taste most pleasing to the individual. A panel of connoisseurs a s sembled for high tea at Running Water compared the merits of teas made from dried red, white, and purple bergamot (*5 tsp. per cup, steeped 5 minutes). A mixture of red bergamot leaves and flowers gave a "yellow-pink" tea, described as ’’light", "Earl Grey without the black tea", and "subtly fragrant". Tea of white bergamot leaves and flowers was not as "sweet" as the red b e r gamot, but still quite fragrant and pleasing. Our panel was less enthusiastic about tea made from leaves only of purple bergamot describing it as "peppery-minty", and "more medicinal".

If you're intrigued by the virtues of Monarda teas but can't find any, I have a limited q u a n tity of seeds and carefully processed dried leaves and flowers available through Roan Moun tain Herbs, R t . 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville, NC 28705, along with many other teas, culinary and medicinal herbs. Write for complete listing.

The blossoms and leaves of some Monardas make a fine addition to salads. Everyone seems to like the taste of red bergamot flowers--"a burst of

Finding M yself

Still, I enjoyed male bodies more than female ones, especially in the locker room. I even got it on with my brother once. At this time I would find male magazines with pictures of men in them, some nude, some not. My mother would find these and rant and rave that it was sick and that you read about those kind of people all the time in the paper. I got a job after school cleaning the locker room at school. I could see all the jocks I wanted to now. They all seemed to know why I was there. I became the butt of a lot of their jokes. It hurt, but I still en joyed the views I g o t . When I graduated I felt I was through with all this shit. My literature became more daring, as daring as it could get without going into porno book stores. I moved into an apartment with a guy who ended up being gay. I was really afraid, not knowing what to expect. He had a guy move in with him and would have company once in a while. I was still afraid and never got into anything with them. I found a new apartment and set out to find a roommate to help pay the rent and that was it. I was again wanting to experience it, but terribly afraid to get into it, so I said that was not what I wanted.

by Dave Fosdahl Ever since I was twelve years old and played with the neighbor kids I realized that I enjoyed what the boys looked like more than what the girls looked like. I always played dolls and house with girls and did all the other things they did. When I reached the age to start gym class I dreaded it. The boys were rougher than the girls, and they talked about finally being able to see what I had between my legs, to see what I really was. But, I rather enjoyed the prospect of see ing all their bodies too. I really hated PE. The games were competitive and I felt inferior when I couldn’t do something. At this time my mother was divorced although ray father lived in the same town. I remember she asked my brother’s and my permission to leave him and get a divorce, explaining what that meant. I will always be grateful to her for that. We could tell what was happening between our parents. Mother's bruises showed us that. It was a sad day when my dad left the house for the last time. I remember that he was crying and so was I. My mother met she asked our in her life. moved to a ly.I

a man whom we all liked and again permission to make a major decision We said "yes” and she remarried. farm in Iowa to become a new fami

A couple of months later the draft lottery started, and I enlisted so I would not have to go to Viet Nam. Basic training was pure hell. I was teased and abused for the way I seemed to be. A friend saved me a couple of times from being raped. I didn’t want to experience sex that way. During the rest of my service I was aware of a few other men who seemed to be the way I was, but we never reached out to each other. When I got out of the army I moved to Ft. Lauder dale. All those beautiful bodies, surely there were gays among them. I finally got a directory of gay places all over the U.S. and found one in Ft. Lauderdale. I called them up, told them my story, and they said to come on over and they would help me out. I got there, but it was about twenty minutes before I went in. They gave me a towel and said to come on. I asked what went on there. I was soon to find out. It started with a kiss and ended with me thinking, "Why have I been avoiding this for so long?" I went back a few times after that. Then I met a woman and we moved in together. Don't ask me why. Well, we got married, had a child, and moved to Iowa. She became the worst mother I had ever experienced. I also became a pretty rotten father. Two abortions and a vasectomy later, we split. After she left I felt I was finally becoming myself for the first time in my life. Even so, my daughter and I went to Florida to see about getting back to gether with my wife, but that didn't work out. On the way back to Iowa where Heather and I had planned to stay with my mother, we visited a commune called the Farm in Tennessee. Wtell, we drove in and didn't leave for five years. I told myself that I wasn’t gay, and that I wanted to live at this place the rest of my life with’ my child. It was a beautiful place--the perfect place for Heather and me, full of love and folks

I still had all the same problems as before. I had crushes on boys and girls now, especially the girl next door who I went with all the time I lived there. We experimented as far as we dared to go, both reaching orgasm with mutual masturbation.

who really cared. My gayness went underground again. I couldn't see any Gays on the Farm. The men were very friendly and always hugging each other, still, something was missing, I didn't feel complete. I felt I couldn't love my child totally or develop totally when I always knew that I wanted a relationship with a man. Then I found RFD my savior. What a publication, men actually out in the coun try living the same way I had for the past five, years but they were Gay. I wrote to a few men in the Contact Letter section, and to seventeen in the Brothers Behind Bars section. I guess I somehow felt safe with them. Every waking hour I thought of what it would be like to be Gay, and experience it. One of the prisoners I was writ ing had found a beautiful relationship in prison and I felt happy for him.

have someone else beside myself. I experienced highs I had never been to before. I don't re member all the names but I will always remember the faces and the spirit I finally found. I was at one with myself, my brothers and the Universe. I found me for the first time in my life. I no longer had anything subconscious in my head about being Gay or wondering what it would be like. For the first time in twenty years my mind was free to accept my spirit and myself. Thank you RFD, thank you all who are involved. I love you all very much. Well, since my unveiling at Running Water I have come back to the Farm to live. My big gest reason for that decision was that I had found on my travels that the Farm had a bad re putation in the gay community and I wanted to change that and also make gays more acceptable on the Farm. I got here and found out fight away that being Gay is acceptable on the Farm--the thing was that the Farm needed to be more aware of Gays. Many folks are glad that I came out and that I have come back.

At Easter Service on the Farm, Stephen (the founder) had talked about Harvey Milk and the Gay community in San Francisco. He said, 'Some of you may not know it but we have Gays living on the Farm." That felt great. I came out of the closet several times right after the service. I wrote to Stephen after the Easter Service and said that if the other Gays on the Farm were as closeted as I was there was no way we were ever going to meet. I asked him who the other Gays were. After a month with no reply I decided that his silence meant that it was up to me to do something. So I decided to split the Farm for as long as that took. I loved everyone on the Farm too much to leave for good. My life is there, but there wasn't a lover, and I knew I needed someone.

Another reason for coming back is that I have and eight-year-old daughter and this is the only place I feel is safe to raise a child. We have our own school (which all parents help a t ) and four hundred fifty school age kids. I am sure that sooner or later someone Gay will move to the Farm, or someone else besides me will come out. I want to thank everyone who was at Running Water or Short Mountain while I was there— you guys helped me make a decision I have been wanting to make since I was twelve--thanks. I love you all for it.

The three weeks between my decision to leave and the time I left was good because it gave me time to come out to anyone who wanted to know why I was leaving. I felt like I had a load of bricks on my head and every time I told someone why I was leaving, a brick would fall off. I didn't have many bricks left by the time I left. Everyone was happy for me and the love they gave me felt so good. We were all sure I would come back. I took Heather to spend the summer on my parents' farm in Iowa, something they were all looking forward to. My first stop was to be Running Water Farm, home °f RFD♦ By the time I got there I was ready for anything after climbing a mile up the side of a mountain with a forty pound pack. Ron and the early arrivals for that weekend's gathering made me feel I was in paradise for the first time in my life. The first circle blew my mind. I had never held hands with a man, let alone twentyseven of them. The love in everyone's eyes was worth everything and every circle felt better and better. I was finding out that there is much “ore to being Gay and part of a loving brother hood than having sex. I felt that we must have sent another star into space from all the energy that we put into the center of the circle. The next day one of several smaller circles was on Gay fathers. It felt great to hear everyone's thoughts and experiences. Again the love flowed. All weekend I opened up more, even more that I had ever opened up to myself. It was so good to 53

Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture by^.rthur Evans, 1978. From Faq Raq Books, Box 331 Kenmore Station, Boston, MA 02215 $5.95

playing (Ah, ... so gays HAVE always been a part of the theater), crossdressing and homosexuality were viewed as idolatry by the Christians. The women, who were feared anyway by patriarchal civilizations as diabolical (to them women=sex=evil), were viewed as witches and the gale male shaman as heretics.

Witchcraft is a charming account of the survival o f rural-basid nature societies in spite of attempts to sup press them. It contains a generous mixture of the ener gies of magic known to woodspeople and a tale of some of those which are not. Evans suggests the development of a new civilization that takes into account the failures of industrial socialism and makes room for the special con tributions of gay people, women, and people of ancient Third World cultures.

The story continues, through the Bronze Age, the Minoan civilization, to the Greek culture where the power of Zeus and Ares (the god of war) prevailed until the Dorians displaced the previous military aristocracy, and male homosexuality took the form of paiderastia--the love of a more experienced man for a younger, inexperienced one. Then Evans tells us about the Iron Age when urbanism, militarism and bourgeois ambition helped prepare for the final push of the classical period when homosexuality and nature religions went underground. By 399 BC the Sophists revamped the relationship between teacher and student by advocating more objectivity and scorned the oral tradi tion which had been stimulated by emotional commitment. And in 186 BC, the Roman Senate condemned the high status of women and gay men and mass arrests took place. Homo sexuality, although tolerated in the upper classes, be came associated with guilt, self-deprecation and cruelty.+

More than a gay history, Wi tchcraft reveals some of the roots of racism, describes the processes by which sex became desexualized, how straight white males came to be thought of as superior to women (and effeminate men), how patriarchy won out over matriarchal traditions and how the attitude of unquestioned obedience to authority came about. Evans enlightens us with a description of a people who have lived in close contact with the natural forces around us. We learn that many times these groups have gone underground only to Dop up again at another time in another place to the shock and dismay of those too ob sessed with power and profit to notice that outside the huge urban wastelands so-called "primitive" societies are able to hold themselves together without progressing away from their natural environment. With an abundance of research and documentation, Evans shows how a peaceful people who shared property and labor existed as early as stone age times.

Evans shows how militarism and industrialism subsequently exploited the masses and how just before the triumph of Christianity a "... wave of grim asceticism swept across Greco-Roman civi1ization."++ The new religion flourished in an atmosphere of impending doom--the feeling that the end of the world was around the corner. The rural dwell er was looked upon as inferior as the new idea of the city-state emerged and the army defended the hierarchy of bishops and archbishops.

The "Witchcraft" of the title is NOT the Black Magic variety, but a practice derived from the shamanic reli gions where people believed in many gods and goddesses, practiced sensual rites, respected subjective experiences and communicated with the animals, plants and energies that surrounded them. The major deity was a Great Mother Goddess who was associated with womb-like caves. A male counterpart was found to have been worshipped as a sub ordinate to the Mother and has erroneously been connected with evil by some historians. From the text:

During the growth of urban civilization and the destruc tion of the countryside, cultures of native peoples were encountered in the expansion. These cultures practiced the same "old religion." Temples were destroyed for gold, people were enslaved or imprisoned for believing in things the politicians did not. The government had taken over from church hierarchy. After the Renaissance, pagan influence had an effect on Western culture, and Protestantism came along to purge Christianity of these influences. But Evans finds evidence of nature societies existing into the nineteenth century at Eleusis, Greece.

The depiction of the Celtic male god as an animal with horns is understandable in view of the economy and reli gion of the times. Stone Age Europe was dependent for its very existence upon the hunting of reindeer, red deer, and elk. Among the first animals to be domesticated were sheep and goats ... nature people worshipped the animals they depended on, in contrast to modern 'civilized' people who objectify and destroy animals with all the impersonal violence that (they) can devise."*

There are many more fascinating anecdotes in Evans’ book, but in the summary he suggests the development of the spirit of tribal societies. He speaks of usinq our art, our poetry and our music together in the countryside ... hands holding each other ... working the soil ... teach ing without books. Utopian fantasy? I cannot judge for you. Read Wi tchcraft for yourself. --Life *,** pp. 21, 17. + Evans explains that the Dorians were militaristic, but less so than their predecessors. ++ p. 41.

Participants often identify themselves collectively with the animals and imitate their behavior, including their sex life, in religious rites. All over the world, evi dence has been found of a polytheistic cult which was repeatedly challenged by patriarchy and militarism. Evans calls this, appropriately, the "old religion" and explains how--because of the association with sexual rites--it was attacked with propaganda, and the priests were feared as something diabolical.

NEW TITLES (compiled from press releases sent to RFD) —

& ? a g i ______

compiled by Selena Fox; illustrated by Sarah White. Order from CIRCLE, Box 9013, Madison, WI 53715. $7.95 spiral bound.

According to Evans, the felts believed in reincarnation, so the god of the underworld was mysterious, but not evil. "Darkness and death were parts of the cycle of life and rebirth.** Because of the dancing and role-

Expanded edition covering books on Paganism, Feminist Spirituality, Shamanism, Psychic Devel opment, Herbology, etc.; periodicals on Cere monial Magick, Earth Mysteries, Natural Living, etc.; plus Arts, Music and Contacts sections. If you have a previous edition and want only the updated supplement, you can order Magickal Contacts (for $3.50, pbk) comprised of the Periodicals and Contacts sections mentioned above.

NEW TITLES (Continued)

The Atomic Cafe by Kevin Rafferty, Jayne Loader and Pierce Rafferty. From Bantam Books, 666 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10103. $4.95 Script of the acclaimed film with 150+ photos (b&w). Subjects include testing of the A-bomb, Hiroshima, the Rosenberg trial (with clips from the Fred Allen comedy show), ludicrous training films of the 40s and 50s. Serious/hilarious look at the attitudes on atomic warfare fed to the general populace. Networking: The First Report and Directory by Jessica Lipnack and Jeffrey Stamps. From Doubleday & Company, P.0. Box 748 Dept. B, Garden City, NY 11530. $15.95 (pbk) Descriptions of key social change networks in these areas: health and the life cycle; com munities and cooperatives; ecology and energy; politics and economics; education and communi cations; personal and spiritual growth; global and futures networks. Thoroughly cross-referenced with five indexes. RFD is among the listings. Recommended by Buckminister Fuller and Mark Satin. Survival Tactics in the Nuclear A g e . Researched, written and printed by Maxkel". 16pp booklet available from NEAC, Box 373, Burlington, VT 05401. Production cost: 50c a copy. Send "more if you can, less if you can’t. Free to those with no money." Handsomely printed in a rainbow of inks. Includes an intro to the nuclear menace, discussion of low-level exposure to radiation, tips on a safe diet, means to build body resistance and reduce absorption of radioactive elements, precautions in case of an accident, recipes, references, etc. --Kevin M. Cox

The Age Taboo: Gay Male Sexuality, Power and Consent Daniel Tsang, editor From Alyson Publications, P.0. Box 2783, Boston, MA 02208 (co-published with Gay Men's Press, Lon don) $5.95 ($6.50 by mail) Many gay men (and a number of lesbians), while still minors, have their first sexual experiences with adult partners. Because minors are not taken very seriously in this culture and with the threat from current laws, these early relationships are often forgotten, passed off as unimportant ex perimentation, or simply left in the closet when we come out in more respectable garb. For gay men and male minors who form significant, sexual relationships with one another, these mat ters cannot be so easily forgotten. For them, coming-out considerations are especially dizzying. Adult males who are convicted of having consensual sex with male minors are not uncommonly incarcerated for prison terms longer than those assigned to persons convicted of murder. Even when minors are spared legal proceedings, the highly emotional reactions of parents, police and social workers can be very hurtful and abusive. Considerable segments of the gay community have often failed to support these individuals. The boys and men have been treated as an unsightly fringe element, not unlike transvestites and sado-masochists. More and more often, the adults and minors who take part in these relationships are beginning to speak out and write about their experiences. Advocacy groups are forming, and a number of

useful books are appearing to address the sub ject. One such book is The Age Taboo, a remar kably level-headed and Intelligent collection of articles. The authors represented here treat the issue with a clarity unusual at this time, when many gay liberationists, feminists and leftists are joining the Right in giving sex a bad name. In the introduction, editor Daniel Tsang lays down some helpful definitions. "In general, pedophilia is used to refer to sexual attraction or experience between an adult and a pre-pubertal child, regardless of gender or sexual orienta tion; pederasty is used to refer to such an at traction or experience between men and male ado lescents; and man/boy love (rather than the more ageist "boy love") refers to sexual attraction or experience between men and male minors." The Age Taboo treats the subject of man/boy love rather than the so-called "greek love" which Tsang describes as "the over-romanticized, idealized, and often sexist and ageist relation ship between an adult male 'mentor' and his young male 'student.'" Among the contributors are Tom Reeves, founder and spokesperson for the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA); Kate Millett, Pat Califia, and Gayle Rubin, feminist activists; Mitzel, author of The Boston Sex Scandal ; and Tsang, an Asian-Amencan gay activist. Minors, both gay male and lesbian, are also represented. A contribution from the editors of the periodical Lesbians Rising is the only opposing opinion pre sented^ and it is included to introduce a rebut tal from a woman who describes herself as a "militant young dyke feminist." The tone of this volume is clearly one of advocacy. Most of the writers support the abolition of ageof-consent laws. They argue that forced sex with minors can be prosecuted under other statutes; that minors should have the legal right to choose sex and sexual partners or to refuse them. They suggest that opposition to sex for minors is tied to the concept that sex is evil, an adult matter, and that children must be protected frcm its influence. These men and women affirm the principle of self-determination for minors in all matters, sexual and otherwise. This book is sex-positive. It speaks out for sex and for everyone’s right to choose to have it or not, and with whom. I recommend it to anyone, minors included, with no reservations. --Stevie Bryant Boys Speak Out on Man/Boy Love North American Man/Boy Love Association Send $1 to NAMBLA, P.0. Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018 This 24-page booklet is NAMBLA's answer to critics who accuse boylovers of speaking for the boys, rather than allowing boys to speak for themselves. A fine introduction by David Thorstad and very pleasant nudes, line-drawn by Sidney Smith, ac company the thirteen short and enthusiastically affirmative statements from "boys," ages 13-17. Most of them relate having had sex with adults since puberty. Their relationships come across as multi-faceted and mutually satisfying. In many cases, the boys mention having initiated the relationships them selves. They emphasize the social and friendship elements of their partnerships, and they insist that they be able to choose for themselves in these matters. This happy and refreshing collection offers a chance to read about some very positive experi ences boys are having with men. --Stevie Bryant

Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians by John Fortunato The Seabury Press, 815 Second A v e ., New York. NY 10017 $11.95 (hardcover)

Jack and Jim by Jim Brogan Equanimity Press, Box 839, Bolinas, CA 94924 $7.50 (includes tax & postage)

This book is somewhat technically oriented and was written especially for Christian psychothera pists. However, anyone interested in the evolu tion of consciousness, religion, psychotherapy, and/or the psycho/spiritual plight of gay people in American society will find the book worth reading, because John Fortunato speaks to and from both the heart and the mind. He is honest and straightforward in telling his and other gay peoples* stories . . . and heVs quite a good storyteller at that. The heart of the book is the chapter on "Psycho therapy as Grieving." Fortunato borrows the five stages of dying from Elizabeth Kvlbler-Ross: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance (which he calls grieving). He generalizes that process to apply to all of our everyday lives: any time we have something difficult to work through, we proceed through more or less the same stages. He provides the best description of what Christian mystics have called "dying daily"--a central theme for those who identify with Jesus.

■

Jack and Jim is an unusual sort of autobiography. Consisting solely of entries from the journal of Jim Brogan, a professor of literature at San Francisco State, the book spans ten years of this man's life. There is one entry per month, start ing in 1970 and ending in 1980. In each month a story moves along that is intimate and often problematic. The story begins as we meet Jim Brogan, newly reinstated professor, who is dealing with the recent effects of the student riots at San Fran cisco State in 1968-69. He is not long from graduate school at Yale, and his writing is book ish in the first part of the work. Although the writing is clear, the reader can witness how un clear Jim is at this point. He has moved west from New York, found some job security and is willing to "let go" in California. Jim decides that he deserves a healthy, loving relationship, which he has obviously denied himself in the past, probably for various reasons. Unlike so much gay literature which focuses on a search for love, Jack and Jim is a story about real men who find love and who struggle with the day-to-day problems it brings. Jim meets Jack, a wonderful fair-haired boy from New Jersey, and the romance begins. Yet readers may not recognize this kind of romance. They fight about economic dependency, emotional intimacy, sex outside the relationship.

But Fortunato is speaking in the broadest terms possible. He considers the gay person struggling to find himself and to make sense out of his world to be in the very best position for break ing through to genuine spiritual insight and high er consciousness. His description of the process brings Mitch Walker's Visionary Love to mind, for it portrays very clearly how gay people are left out of the predominant Myth which gives support and also controls the minds and hearts of the mass of people in our culture. I find one problem with the book. Fortunato men tions that he is not trying merely to help people adjust to and return to the Myth, but he does not successfully explain what he sees as the role we, supposedly, highly evolved gays are to play in a society bent on the destruction of the earth and all that is free and wild. I'm afraid he takes the all too well trodden trail of thinking which favors putting our emphasis on life in heaven in higher consciousness, while never men tioning putting our awareness into practice by embracing truly alternative cultures and ways of living. From this point of view, I must dis agree with his politics, at least. Though I intentionally call myself a pagan, I was raised a Catholic, and my little breakthroughs on the inner plane tend to have a distinctly Christian flavor, whether I like it or not. That is why I wanted to read and review this book. I found that the book did help me resolve some of my own conflicts, even if I did disagree on some points. John Fortunato writes in the same way he works, by letting the reader use him as a spring board to jump into fruitful thinking. In this quality, he and his book are remarkable, even if, like some of the patients he describes, you hate his guts part of the time. I used to resist the flow of familiar (Christian) phrases which, nevertheless, often describe my own spiritual insights remarkably well. Now I feel that we can never become whole until we soften our hearts and freely embrace the exile within.

I found this subjective style of journal-writing fascinating because the Jim Brogan who starts out in 1970 has evolved into a very different person by the mid-7 0 ’s. Halfway through Jack and Jim. Jim has become more "CalifomiazecT'"' He uses more slang in his writing. His experiences are freer and more open than we would expect from the Jim newly graduated from an Ivy League school. The transition is recorded subtly, with the themes of each entry holding together like independent rays of light work together to illuminate a subject. Another transition occurs toward the end of the book. Jim and Jack's relationship becomes stable, and the novelty of California ends. A new period of inner, spiritual growth occurs for Jim. His writing at this point is the most clear; it has become a distinctively different voice. While at times the journal entries feel almost unconnec ted, the real value in the work is the decidedly inti mate picture one gets of a very modern and successful gay male relationship. Essen tially Jack and Jim is about love between men in the 70’s and the true potential all gay men have for establishing themselves in healthy rela tionships. The reader will not be disap pointed in trying to figure out how this open relation ship works. All the formulas and little coomitments and day-to-day struggles are re corded. Absolutely worth reading and I applaud Jim Brogan's courage in sharing so many personal details of his life. --Terry Cavanagh

--Blue Jay 56

A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF THE 70S

by Jim Brogan "I'm fascinated by Jim Brogan's skill in combining literary and psychological concepts to illuminate his treatment of sexuality and intimacy in his portrait of the everyday workings of a romantic gay relationship " —John DeCecco Professor of Psychology. SFSU Editor. Journal o f Homosexuality Available from EQUANIMITY PRESS BOX 839, B O U N A S. CA 94924 S7.50 includes tax & postage

I am a Chicago RFD reader interested in the p o ss ib il it y of forming an urban c o ll ec ti ve of li ke -m in de d gay people in the Chicago area. I visited Running Water this year, and am active in Chicago in the Ch icago Men's Gath er in g and Good Shepherd Parish--MCC. If you are in te re st ed in the idea of coll ec ti ve living, please give me a call at (312) 78 4-1319 or drop me a note. Thanks !

Yours sincerely,

Hi Folks, I'm a 26 -year old mu sician moving over to Germany for a year this fall. I'd like to make contact with any people living in the co untry or maybe even those co ns i d e r i n g it.. Germany, Holland, Austria, wherever. Anyone who has travelled and made friends with rural types who might be open to a visitor, let me know. Peace, Joe Salack 2240 N. Magnolia Chicago, Illinois

60614

To ail it may concern Looking for other people who would be interested in forming a traveling band of "Gyosy Faeries" who would spread life, love, and happiness to other Faeries across the country and world, and to educate the general public about us and our love for life. Preferably some type of performance piece(s) can be created to show ex actly what is important in this world--love and happiness. Thus all 'tyoes of people will be needed: mu sicians, singers dancers, actors, writers, magicians, etc., etc. And a network of organizers! This will take a lot of work. Anyone out there who can Drovide a central meeting nlace to organize? Please resoond to; RC, 1800 Market St. #89, San Francisco, CA 94102.

Sdiutums Dear R F D , We are two gay men, both in o mi d- tw en ti es , looking for a s portive farm or c o mm un it y to live, work and learn on. We are interested in and have some e x pe ri en ce with organic farming, animals (goats, bees, draft horses and chickens) and wo rk in g toward self-reliance. Cu rrently we live in Madison, Wisc on si n and are both workers in child care (as a teacher and nutritionist). We feel co mm it te d to hard work, open commun ic at io n, and a f e m i nist pers pe ct iv e in our living situation. Fairly flexible in terms of location. Michael Ross and Billy Gilbert 1044 Spaight St. Madison, Wisc on si n 53733

Mark Sherkow 1354 W. Wlnnemac Av. Chicago, Illinois 60640 Dear RFD, I'd like to hear from some readers who might be interested in becoming caretakers of a house and property in eastern Maine. The area's econ omic resources come from the sea, the woods, and its "BIG" claim to fame: blueberries for me, its natural unspoiled beauty is its most precious resource. This oppor tunity may best suit those who need to develop and/or sharpen their country survival skills. And from my personal observation, best for those who understand the demands of New England winters. Sincerely, Jon Autiello 10 Chauncy St. Cambridge, MA 02138

Make Contact with someone special ~ another J(3D reader RFD prints contact letters free of charge. are always welcome.

Dear Friends, Whilst in the USA, I picked up a copy of RFD Summer 1982. I will be visiting the USA again in 1983 and would love to meet some of your readers. I will be touring most parts of the USA. I am 42 years old, cuddly (i.e., a bit overwe ig ht !) , no n- sm ok er who would love to relax in the country with a y o un ge r co mpanion of any colour, race or creed, who could put up for a short time with a city dweller who needs a break in the countryside. Perhaps somebody will

Peter Williams Basement Flat 69 Elm Grove Brighton Sussex 3N2 3ET England

Donations, of course

Please condense your letter to 200 words or less. Brevity is the soul of wit and saves page space for others. Spelling and punctuation will be corrected unless you state that you’d prefer the letter to be published "as is.” Please be positive in stating your interests and affinities. Saying "no" to any particular trait or human characteristic may unnecessarily of fend a brother. Also remember that placing a contact letter engenders the res ponsibility to answer all repliesSend your letter to:

write. 57

RFD Rt. 1, Box 127E Bakersville, NC 28705

Dearest Brothers & Sisters:

Dear Earth Spirits and Brothers, My former way of life is under going a rebirth. Soon my land and machines will be sold and I will leave the job that has sheltered me for 13 years.

A warm hello! My main focus of the past 16 years (since age 5 ) has been to tear down limitations and to ex pand myself, hence, I am an artist (music is my forte), using my art to catalyze healing, hence, I study The Seth Material and the likes (more and more I consciously create my own reality!). As an artist, I know that my primary artistic creation is my life. I love connecting/corresnonding with others who share my fervour for inner and outer exploration. If you're vibrating to this communique (near and more time-distant readers), write to me here at/thru Running Water the home of RFD.

I am 31, 215 lbs, 6*2", with a balding head of brown hair. You can notice a bit of belly around my middle because I have lacked the spirit to control it.

From one adventurer/traveler to an other faerie love and an energy hug to you...DENIxo of RW.

My past life is that of a r a i l road en gineer and bill & mo rtgage payer.

Dear RFD,

I would like my new life to be that of blac ks mi th to the faerie word, along with my love for pipe organ repair. If you know of the world I seek-the world where beauty and peace join with the music of man's m a chines to bring joy to all who behold it and can live in harmony with it--please write. It is a lonely life, this world of m a chines. I need someone who has been this way before. David W. Gi vens Route 1 , Box 614 Pollock, Louisiana 71467 Phone (318) 765-9632

Dear SID - Mr.

Right,

I'm looking for an avid h o r t i cu lturist mainly to share and enjoy my rare plant whol es al e business. The guy I'm looking for must be ambitious and really enjoy plants. There's got to be one special person out there in the country who wants security and a sexxxi lover to make life easy and fun. Many benefits to the right guy who will appr ec ia te living in the country with me in my old Victorian home with over 109 acres 1 n the backyard. I'm 5'8", 140. Good-lookin, mu scular and sexxxi, and this is the first time I've ever a d vertised for a lover. So hope It w o r k s ! I m looking for a guy with a straight head and honest-- no dopers, drunks, fats or ferns -age open but orefer someone in h 1 s late 2 0 's to 40. Ed Skrocki 3932 P a i n e s v 111e -Warren R d . Southington, Ohio 44470

J.T. P.0. Box 19024 Baltimore, MD 21204

Dear Friends at RFp. I am a rural gay who likes living with urban amenities. I am also a naturist, and love to have my body completely shared. I hate body hair, love the sun and like nothing better than haying my completely hairless body doing things in the sun. If there's anyone else out there that likes the same thing, I'd like to hear from them. The best always, Bob Knibb P.0. Box KGilmonton, NH

03237

Young man wishes for work on small farm or ho mestead in e x change for room and board or small salary. Honest, h a r d w o rk in g lover of Earth, likes herbs, wild foods, animals, wishes to learn from someone who knows the old lifestyles and loves to live it. NY, Penn. , W . V a . , MD, area. Blessed be.

FARM SEED

8 ox 30 Darragh,

I've been gay for years but I've on ly been a faerie for a few months now. I'd love to hear from sissies in the Boston area who believe in magic and transformation. While I go around disguised as a student of Classics, in reality I'm a gentle man who likes to read books of myth ology and religion, visit new places on earth and in my mind, and observe the connectedness around me and in me My current passions are the I Ching, faeries with old souls and deep eyes, meditation, Emerson, and Wendell Ber ry. These could change tomorrow so hasten your letters hither. Yours in Brotherhood, Kenneth Hale 59 Cedar Street Somerville, MA 02143 Dear RF De r s : ‘

WM 38, 6 ft 205 lbs wants friend ship or serious relationship from guys anywhere who visit, pass through or who plan to relocate to Baltimore and vicinity. Prefer the big husky power-lifter type, Italians and with beard or moustaches to 40 but all answered who send photo in first letter. Like movies, theatre, quiet eyes, all music especially C/W and rides in the countryside.

Thanx.

Dear Faeries of New England:

Penn sy lv an ia 58

15625

I am bisexual, es se nt ia ll y at heist (more faith in humans than deities), ov e r w e i g h t but in an en vi r o n m e n t c o nd uc iv e to losing. I am a me mb er of the Comm un it y for Crea ti ve N o n - V i o lence; as such I c o ns id er myself an Am er ic an Dissident. I am p e rs on al ly pledged to a year here, will review my desire to stay in May '83. I would like to c o rr es po nd with more gay peop le -- me n, women, the newly c o m e - o u t - - a n d perhaps de velop a number of co ntacts to hitch to. as I plan to flee to the coolth of the great Nort hw es t to join the peace m o ve me nt there. I would pa rt i c u l a r l y enjoy c o r r e s po ndence with those active in the gay civil rights movement, the wo men's rights ("lesbian divi si on ") m o ve me nt and related t h i n gs -- th o I urge anyone to write: I love to communicate. Reading, w r it in g (letters, poems, s f /f an ta sy fiction) and p a r t i c i pation in the peace m o ve me nt (in its most l o ng -t er m sense, in that there are many who have been in it for at least 20 y e a r s ...) are p a s s i o n s . I am i n e x pe ri en ce d at ma n - t o - m a n love (a a aa aa ar gh ), a potential p e d o phile (a bixexual one at that...), a pu n- a n d - j o k e man (when the puns come they are precious c o m m o d i ties...). I am hai ry (mostly b l ac k- br ow n hair), red-bearded, hazel-eyed, fair-skinned. Am equa ll y mad about the hirsute and the smoooOOOth, the young and the ol d . . . h a v e a d i st ur bi ng p r ef er en ce for mu s c u l a r men and p h ys ic al ly to gether anyone else. I know I must examine this and perhaps di lute it, but at present the above is me... Thornton Kimes CCN V 1345 Euclid S t . , NW Washington, DC 20009

------CONTACT LETTERS-------

Dear jiEDers: My discovery of your publication gives me a long-awaited opportunity to try to recapture a fantasy, for if there is anyone "out there" who is what I have always wanted to make my life more complete, he must sure ly be a reader of this fascinatino magazine. I work intensely in environmental politics--trying in particular to save as much of the natural world as possible. To do this, I have to toil in a big city and live in the sub urbs. But my heart lies in the coun try, in the mountains, on the beaches. My fantasy: I would like to find a young man (20-30) to help take care of my suburban, solar house and a yard that wants to be a mini-farm. I seek a companion who is intelligent, hard working, athletic, educated, re liable, neat, quiet, sensitive, hon est. I can share such things 3 s run ning. backpacking nature study, bi cycling, historv, cooking, travel, reading. I have very broad tastes in food, music, films, books. It would be nice to find not only someone who would fit into my pat tern, but also someone who could use this opportunity to progress in his own desired direction. Gene Coan 891 San Jude Ave. Palo Alto, CA 94306 — *

Dear R F D , I'd like to get in touch with someone who is interested in a homesteading, s e l f -s uf fi ci en t kind of life: a man who is i n d e pendent enough to build a life in the country, yet one who is humble enough to admit that he needs someone who would a p p r e c i ate this demanding, yet re warding kind of life. I am 33, 5 ’ 11", 170, blue e y e s , light brown hair, bearded, m a s culine, intelligent, ha rdworking, very musical, a natural man in love with liother Earth, eager to 'get back to an honest e n v i r o n ment. Four years in New Orleans is E N O U G H ___ I'm looking for someone similar, who's planning to go, or who's "already there", who needs a soul-mate to make the circle complete. L. Dupuy 7700 Downman Road, # 15-C New Orleans, Louisiana 73126

I'm a 36-year old masculine, lean, phys ic al ly fit man. ' S ' e V tall, 135 lbs. Former Mennonite minister. I am an activist in* many co n c e r n s - - s i m p l e living, a n t i - a b o r t i o n , world hunger, natural nutrition, nu clear d i s armament, social justice, peace, women's rights, human rights, anti -d ea th penalty, an ti -n uc le ar power, nudism, gay rights and environmental protection. Enjoy having a wide variety of friends. I love people. I live now on my parents' farm in northern Illinois. My other home is the inner city of A l b u querque. Always torn inside between nature in the coun tr ys id e and the people and their d i v e r sity in the city. I'm Latino at he ar t- -n ot by bi rt h- -a nd also feel a special kinship with the Native American ways. I enjoy being a man in my ways and am e s pe ci al ly attracted to certain men who also possess a tender machismo. I'm incurably romantic, stubborn and passionate I enjoy reading, w r it in g letters, exercise, camping, c h e m ic al -f re e gardening, dancing, making friends, listening and sharing deeply, and mu tually happy sex. Enjoy Spanish love songs, Verdi's operas, older rock, black Gospel, some classical, h e ar t- to uc hi ng co untry and western. Men with similar concerns and interests write. Include phot o- -n ud e if possible. Sincerely-Don Schrader Box 171 Dakota, Illinois

61318

--I would like to get in touch with people like me, so I suppose the .best way to start is to give you some background. I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, in the suburbs. I've always been a seeker, be gi nn in g with C h r i s t i anity. Sometime in my late teens God and I had a falling out. I just co uldn't swallow what the men who represented God were spouting and I started looking for so mething else, beginning with the e x i s te nt ia li st s and the idealists. That still wasn't satisfying. The one day I was reading a science fiction book, THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE by Philip K. Dick (love that name and that man), and in that book I was introduced to the I ching, a major char ac te r in that book. I im me diately went to the library and found a copy and started then and there to studying oriental philosophy. Then a good friend of mine, 59

R.D. Williams, gave me Alan Watt's THE WAY OF ZEN and the rest, as they say, is history. RD was also into w r tc hc ra ft and gave me a rudi me nt ar y i n t r o duction to the craft. I didn't take to that very well at first. RD was a follower of Aleister Crowley and I didn't like that at all. Ironic that the same person would introduce me to both zen and Crowley, but there it is. In the intervening years, I have taken Bu dd hi sm to heart and mind and since then I've discovered that there is more to magick than the Crowley bunch. A very fine woman, Janna, showed me some books by Z. Budapest and THE WHITE GODDESS by Robert Graves, and my spirit felt like it was coming home again. I have always been involved in things. In the sixties I was one of those hippie types at Auburn University, involved in civil rights and war protest. I styled myself a radical then, not re alizing that 1t took more than saying so to be so. In the way I live, I am probably more radical now than ever, though not nearly so political as I once was. I never found a soul in Marxi sm. Cu rrently I am a producer of television programs and teach film and television at the Univ er si ty of Montevallo. In addition to the interests above, I am into phot og ra ph y (with a couple of shows under my belt), science fiction fandom in a way, music of all kinds, espe ci al ly jazz, blues, new wave rock (whatever that is), and g e tt ln’ high on 1 i f e . I love it now that I'm back in these green hills of Alabama. There Is still much to be done here, but there is also a peace here that I have found no where else and I've 11ved a 11 o v e r . The people I want to reach through RFD will know who they are. I have this great t e m p tation to say that I would like to hear from this type of person or that type of person, but I have found that one never truly knows who he wants to meet until the meeting. But I hope this letter will ring a bell or two out there. I suppose there is always more to say, but I know that space is short so I will cut if off here. If you want to hear the gorey details, I will be happy to obii g e . Blessed be, George Inzer Z22 As hville Road Montevallo, Alabama

35115

I'm lookina for my "best place"to live, any suggestions? While in Georgia, I did a fair amount of backpackinq. A recurrerrt fantasy on the trail was to have a "partner" at my side. For me "partner"is a cogent word. It evokes a wide ranae of qualities, capabilities, joys, and no doubt, sadness.

Dear Brothers, The search goes on for fellow travelers. That is for other men who share my dream of s e l f - s u f f i ciency and sanity. I do want to stay in California. The climate here is re la ti ve ly good, ec onomically, politically, and me te or ologically. 1 want to live with one or more in a c o op er at iv e setting where we help each other to survive both mate ri al ly and emotionally. Where we all have an envi ro nm en t t h a t ’s lovina, trusting, healthy, etc. Where we each have room to be ourselves. I'm 5'8", about 153 lbs, pretty healthy, curly brown hair and eyes. Decent tan right now. I ’m 'a Italian and a p a s s e d vegetarlan. I'm 29. Born in San Francisco. Raised in the great central valley. Interested and sometimes involved in politics (anti-nuke, gay, environmental). A crazed gardener. I enjoy da ncing and bicycling. I’ve got a ga rdening business. It's the sanest, most enjoyable work I’ve ever had and it keeps me well fed. I guess "agnostic nature lover" describes my religious beliefs. I also believe in everyone's inalienable right to believe or disb el ie ve in w h at ev er they want. So anyway all you sweet men quit dreaming, get off your asses and write me! The world isn't going .to wait for us. Peace and Love, Joe Balestreri 8950 Tokay Lane Sacramento, California (916) 383-2381

95826

Dear Reader. fty name is David. I'm 37 and live in New Orleans. I should be livina in the mountains or at least back in the Appalachian Piedmont where I lived for 4 1/3 years. I hope to move from this city--enchantinq thounh it is — in a year or so. or at least that's what I've been telling myself for the last 3 years. It's amazing what a person can get used to: noise, congestion, heat, humidity, high salaries___

Activities which fill me up during orivate time so that I can "qive" to others include: hiking, canoeing, bicycling, reading (history, sci ence, biography), listening (to friends, classical music, to the wind in the trees) and learninq about myself and my God. Gentle reader, if you are in resonance v/ith the above, I'd like to hear from you. Sincerely, David PO Box 57361 New Orleans, LA

70157

Dear R F D , Okemos is a suburb of Lansing, Mi ch ig an 's capitol city. I've lived here with John for nearly five years now. We've been running a gay support o r g a n i zation for as long as I've been here. I'm 31 years old and am disabled with mu sc ul ar dystrophy. I'm blond and blue eyed, bearded and with glasses. Would enjoy e s t a bl ishing c o r r e s p o n d e n c e with other gay men and possibly m e e t ing those who are nearby or can travel. Looks and age are of little importance to me. Writing letters is a major interest of mine lately. I have pen pals in foreign countries as well as in the U.S.; but I would still like for my maleman to bring more le tt ers--he can't unless some of you guys write to me. I'm not looking for a lover or living situation. I just like me et in g new people, making new friends and carr yi ng on f r i e n d ships which may or may not in volve s e x . Some of my other interests are classical music, travelling, museums, good food with plenty of vegetables, reading, c r o c h e t ing and stamp collecting. I watch television very sele ct iv el y and go to movies only about once every two years. I don't drink or smoke (anything). I take vitamins C, E, and sele ni um su pp l e m e n t - - w o u l d like to e x change ideas on this subject. I try to balance my s k ep ti ci sm with an open mind. As I get older, life seems to get easier and more enjoyable. I'm always busy and contented 60

and enjoy my se lf and my friends. I'll answer all who write. Write me ! Richard Carlson 2494 W. Grand River Okemos, Michigan 48864

Dear RFD Readers, I hope this finds all in good health and good spirits. I am a 22-y ea r- ol d native of Oklahoma City curr en tl y living in Houston, where I have worked to wi thin one year of my b a c h e lor's degree. One in te rr up ti on of my academic career oc curred with a trip to Oregon last summer, during which I snapped up the last RFD in Eugene (for the time being). I've been a thankful reader ever since; RFD's a great a l t e rn at iv e to the often frenetic gay-bar life in Houston. Like the Ca ncerian I am, my comi ng -o ut process has been marked by periods of retreat, and it has been hard for me to build l o ng -t er m fr ie ndships with other gays. This is one reason for my writing. I'm 5'9" and 143 lbs, with blond hair, blue eyes and a wiry frame. I grew up as an "All -A me ri ca n" kid in a large family, except for being nonathletic. There have been a few so bering e x p e r i ences in college, including the deaths of my parents, and now I feel my dues have been paid through at least age 30. In te r ests include bicycling, most types of rock music, ca rt oo ni ng , chess, media, psychology, travel, and writing. Anyone who finds the above i n t r i guing, or even mildly interesting, feel free to write and share notes with m e . Sincerely, Bob Henson 835 Baker College Box 2581 Houston, Texas 77252

Dear Readerz, Craftsman, trader, organic farmer 1s looking for a c a r e taking situation with at least a year's c o m m i t m e n t - - l o n g - t e r m possible. Ozarks preferred, but will cons id er other area. Per haps exchange pe rmanent c a r e taking for a place to build house. Maybe c o ns id er low rent. Am open to ideas or projects that include gardening, orchard, some animals, repairs or minor

Dear RFD, I've seen a lot of contact letters and answered them because I felt we each had some forte in common. Too few answered.

co nstruction, in return for private, secluded space. If you have land that needs to be taken care of, with love, write to David Bohannan Mountain Farm Box 701 Huntsville, Arkansas 72740

Dear Sir, I came across y o u r name a nd address through a friend and now I'd like to ask you a favor. I am a dyke and I'd like to get in touch with brothers and sisters in America so I'd like you to publish a note of mine in your paper if possible. I'm 25 years old, 1.62 m tall, weigh 52 kgs and I am interested in e x ch an gi ng photos and also meeting my pen pals in person. I'd like to corr es po nd with people the same or above my age. I'd thank you very much a great favor.

for such

Yours, Susan CXA Postal , 2342 6 0 0 0 0 F o r t a 1eza - CE. BRASIL

I would highly appr ec ia te it if gays in the U.S.A. would write to m e . About myself: aged 51. White person. Army officer. Served in Korean War. Married, with two grownup children. 18th Degree Rosicrucian, Scottish Rite. Presbyterian. Reside 4 miles east of Cape Town, oldest city in our beloved Republic. I am bisexual and espe ci al ly like young boys aged 10 to 15. My wife knows all about this and says nothing.

I look forward to hearing from American gays in the near future. With love, Col Purves N. Roux 203 Main Road Maitland. C.P. 7405 South Africa

So I send this. I'm pushing sixty. Tall, athletic, but prize mental acumen more. I’ll share land and considerable creative ability with those with futuristic orientation and Humanistic (with a capital 'HUMAN' not Fe or Men). My kind I begin to suspect are few and far between. A "futurist" doesn't live by TV/radio commercials, or mottos, or cliches, or shit house philosophy qarnered as a snot-nose gang of brats ruining their lungs with "weed." Whereas the "Me Society" believes in "A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush," the Futurist/Humanist/ Rationalist says, "A bird in the hand is suffocated; two in the bush multiply." If you are not an ageist, angry at anyone older than you at the moment1 if you are not a sexist, lashing out at the hetero- or bi-sexual because they have "queer" sexual orientation; if you know "a trip of 1000 miles begins with but a sinqle step," and you can't be where you are going before that single step, or know all there is to know until it all unfolds, thus do not expect everything laid out for you as a valet might lay out a suit; if you can conceive for your self a comprehensive "communitarian effort" that being like a family has a "leader" or "father" fiqure wherein AVI work for A11 , then write me about your ideas, plans, hopes, dreams. This is not a "I have laid down the rules and you obey the Master" trip. But you must know that you could not even exist without organization. We will have everything from wine grapes, to concerts, to horses, to clothing design, to Olympic training. If you don't understand the need to cooper ate, or think you are an isle unto yourself, then you're not for me and I not for you. If you're "clean." nonsmoker, moderate drinker, hard worker, adventurous, openminded, studious, let me hear from you. Marvin T. Manning 100 N. 7th #710 Temple, TX 76501 Dear RFD, We are two guys (23, 50--farm bred) seeking as many as ten others (possibly including two monogamous feminine women) to share our large, beautiful Ozark mountain ranch-living under primitive conditions until we can build/develop the life style we want. Already have live stock of most every kind. Gardening begins next season. We lived previously with gay communal "family"--and wish to continue that lifestyle here with people who share our love for the land/nature, and who 61

can make a total committment to the land and to each other. We prefer "compatible" sexual relationships to living with "untouchables." Our place is so totally remote from "civilization" that outside activities are neither convenient nor desireable. Our interests/experience/education include almost every subject--plus the usual things associated with the land, self-sufficiency, plants, animals, alternate energy, etc.--but we seek "kindred spirits" and mean ingful "relationships" more than cleverness/experience. We are not fanatics on any subject. We eat meat, smoke and share a profound interest in philosophy, psychology, music, arts, sciences, etc. If interested, please reply with meaningful details, photo, sase. No pen-pals or curiosity seekers, please Yours in love S brotherhood, N. Case Box 529 Marshall, AR

72650

Dear RFD, Clean old man, 60, 5' 9", 190 lbs., white, desires a younger man for a potential lover to sit on the front oorch, rock, and tell each other lies. Then after a few months when all lies are told and we see its ooing to work then we buy a mini-fam (one to five acres) and raise vegetables for the fun of it. I was raised on a farm and could make one self-sustaining-my family did or we would have starved during the depression of the 1930s. I am fully retired on two modest pensions, no more punching the time clock. If the right person comes alono I would sell this property in the city and buy a mini-farm, and have no payments to make. Whites, Asians, Latins, and Indians are all welcome to write. Please, no alco holics. dopers, or hypers. I do insist on a true one-on-one relation ship. No bars or extra stuff on the side. Love ye all, Ed Hall 2147 N. Campbell St. Springfield, MO 65803 866-1772

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