Finding Your Path–Learning From Elders, Listening To Your Heart

By Eden Firestone

In my 40-odd years of living–halfway through my life if I’m lucky–I’ve had many life-changing events. My military service, working the New York and San Francisco clubs as a go-go boy, coming of age during the still-continuing AIDS crisis and becoming a paramedic all led me to a warm summer afternoon in 2000.

I sat and spoke with Harry Hay and John Burnside for a few glorious hours, and listened to these elders who mean so much to me. Listening, and learning, I realized that I had more talents and was loved by so many if I was willing to open my heart and let the love enter. Harry was on oxygen, and hardly able to talk sometimes, but he told me something I’ve always held close to my heart. He said:

“As Faeries, we have to be willing to set aside everything from our previous life. We need to look inside and find the special gift we each have, and find how to bring it to the world. That is why we are here, to bring those gifts out. You may have to set aside your past, to walk away from your family and friends. You may have to endure hardship and persecution, but if you follow your heart, if you bring that special gift inside you out, then you will have earned your place in the world. Then you will have achieved the ultimate expression of self-love. From that all other good things flow”1

It took me more than a few years to understand what Harry was talking about.

I come from the usual background; born in the ‘60s, brought up on baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and...you get the picture. I had the typical abusive childhood, not only from a society which I did not think understood me, but from a stepfather as well. I could have lived the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself and living as a victim. Harry taught me something different.

I listened to his words, I read his book2, I listened to the elders at Beltane. In a very short time I realized that the greatest gift I had to give to the world was myself, my love of caring for others and, most importantly, the need and desire to find

One Faerie’s Journey to Purpose–Understanding Ritual and Tradition

The simple truth is that by looking, actively seeking, your path, it will find you. I began with the books by Harry, and this encouraged me to look beyond just gay writers. I found a wealth of inspiration in the Wiccan tradition. There is a power in continuing the same ritual and respect for nature that has been handed down by generation after generation of seekers.

what more I could to do help this world along a peaceful and loving path. It’s not an easy road, but one worn by the feet of many before us.

I began my search with Faerie wisdom, but I was able to find my own path by learning from the many other voices crying out for freedom and justice. I believe that by listening to the past, we can avoid many pitfalls that have taken so many from us, and learn to lives life full of happiness, joy, and with a sense of purpose. Each person’s journey is a different “flavor,” but together we are all moving in the same direction.

Take Beltane, for instance. Many Faeries do not understand the roots of the tradition. Beltane stretches back before written history, in the ancestral times before our modern world even existed as fantasy. Toiling day after day in the farms and fields, our ancestors looked to the sun and the stars for guidance on when to plant, when to harvest, when to store away for the future. Beltane was the festival of the planting, of fertility and the beginning of new things. So to it is today. The directions are called, the ancestors and spirits invited to participate and guide us, and our dreams are raised up on Father Sky entering Mother Earth to weave our dreams and love together to make the web of life. This is an ancient tradition made more powerful by the many tens of thousands of Beltanes before us. We can learn from the power of tradition, and bring into our own daily lives the power of this past.

I was guided by several writers who, in the thoughts of many, bring from the past the ideas and beliefs which honor the self. These work, and by listening to the stories of the past, aid to creation of a true, whole, living and spiritual person and resonate into the future. They include Lynn V Andrews’ “Teachings Around the Sacred Wheel”3 and Scott Cunningham’s “Magical Herbalism, the Secret Craft of the Wise.”4

Finding your Totem–Listening to the spirit in your heart

Harry talked about finding your own spirit. Understanding his influence from Native American tradition, I read through Brad Steiger’s book5 and took it to heart. I journeyed near and far, in city and wilderness, and “worked hard” to find my guide spirit. Apparently it was a lot harder to go looking than to let your spirit find you.

On a late afternoon, napping in the grass, I had a dream of being carried across the underworld in the claws of a giant black bird, towards a red horizon with white light peeking up from behind like a sunrise. I startled awake to find a very curious thing; a black feather lying on my chest. Looking through books on birds, I discovered that the feather was a wing feather from a raven, which until then I had never noticed as common to Northern California. My guide spirit had found me!

This was my first of many lessons to listen to and pay attention to the small signs, the quiet words from inside your heart, not just the thumping of a dance club!

The Moon is Always Female6

For me, this is one of the most inspirational and loving collections of poetry. Read many times over, the words speak to the subtler events in a life. The woman’s perspective is often lost in our Faerie community, so reading and listening to the wisdom of women is always valuable and important.

The poems that fill this volume give meaning to the small pleasures and discomforts of life. I learned to look for the beauty in the small coincidences; to seek the “Art of Living” as a true passion. These poems inspire us all to look at “The Daily Grind” and find within the deeper meaning.

Final Thoughts - Trust yourself and your spirit

Everyone needs to look to our founding elders to see a path that leads to our liberation. In the words of Malcolm X “If you have problems, all you need do is look back to history. Once you see how they got theirs right, you know how to get yours fixed.” We need to heed this advice. Look not only to the few books

I mentioned here, but read about Oscar Wilde, Walt Whitman, Socrates and so many others. Sit in a heart circle and listen as each in turn talks from the heart.

The original purpose of being a Radical Faerie it is about self-discovery, selflove and finding liberation. That is, freedom from the ideas and beliefs of “mainstream culture” for what is unique and genuine to you.

It is not about “fitting in.” It’s not about the party. The celebration of life at a gathering is joyful, and it’s great to have all our friends around us, but to fail in following the footsteps of our elders is to deny within each of us the special spiritual gift that is there.

Trust your inner voice. Trust your own beliefs first. Listen and learn and work for understanding.

“We all come from the Goddess, And to Her we shall return, Like a drop of rain, Flowing to the ocean.”

Every time I hear the “old Faerie songs” at a gathering, tears fill my eyes and my heart pounds in my chest. I think of Harry, John, Sister X, and so many others who lie in the memorial grove and spread across the globe. It is for them; and my own self, that I ask each of you to take the time to look within. Practice ritual, listen and learn.

In the act of learning about yourself, you will discover the greatest beauty that can be found.

1 Personal Recollection and Journal, Eden Firestone, 2000.

2 Radically Gay, by Harry Hay and Will Roscoe; (Publisher: Beacon Press ISBN-13: 9780807070819)

3 Teachings Around the Sacred Wheel, Lynn V. Andrews; (Publisher: Harper and Row, ISBN-13: 9781585425730)

4 Magical Herbalism, Scott Cunningham; (Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD, ISBN-13: 9780875421209)

5 Totems; The Transformative Power of Your Personal Animal Totem, Brad Steiger; (Publisher: Harper, San Francisco, ISBN-13: 9780062514257)

6 The Moon is Always Female, Marge Piercy; (Publisher: Random House, ISBN-13: 9780394738598)