Ritual, A Life’s Journey West

Ritual, A Life’s Journey by West

Ritual is a way to create dynamic containers in service to our own and other’s extra ordinary experiences. Ritual is a means to alter our consciousness; to step outside the ordinary; to alter our physical space; to suspend time and place. Ritual provides a context for the manifestation of dreams and visions.

This essay is the result of Rosie Delicious’ request to me to write about my personal journey and how it brought me to helping create the public rituals done by the New York City Gay Men’s Shamanic Circle.

There is a tradition in India of a ‘house holder’ who, upon reaching a certain age, releases his responsibilities of family and work to take up his inner journey. While few can do that completely, many let go of what they can to open space for the possibilities of deeper inner work.

I was raised Catholic. Toyed with being a priest. Met a guru. Left the guru. Practiced Bhakti Yoga meditation, solo, twice a day for twenty-five years, setting up an altar of the Guru’s photo, a candle and burning incense, completed the meditation, dismantled—ritual. Grew bored. Ceased all spiritual practices.

In 2000 my life was in turmoil, I was headed for a nervous break down or a heart attack. I decided to quit my activism and my NYC teaching job of thirty-three years and retire early. I was almost fifty-four.

In June, while walking in the Pride March with the Lesbian and Gay Teachers Assoc. of NYC, for what I had decided would be my last time, life became interesting. Robert C., an ally in LGBT activism, also a teacher and a Radical Faerie, dropped into our group. As we marched we chatted. He revealed he and three other Radical Faeries were about to lead a Sex Magic experience in the woods of Vermont. I knew of Harry Hay and something of his work. I was intrigued. A few days later I contacted Robert to see if I could attend.

Faerie Camp Destiny was new to me. Camping was new to me. Smudging was new to me. Calling in the directions was new to me. The heart circle was new to me. Spirituality outside of organized traditions was not entirely new to me.

Down time was as important as the heart circles. I learned about the work of Robert Johnson, mystic, Jungian psychologist, and jargon free writer. I learned about a NYC spiritual community that gathered on the full moon. I learned about this Great Basin Dance called the Naraya, similar to the Paiute Ghost Dance, which I knew a lot about. I was hooked.

I started attending Faerie gatherings.

I attended my first Full Moon Ceremony in September. The full moon ceremonies were planned rituals: smudge, set up a proscribed altar, call in the directions, sing songs, share, bless water, pray over and burn tobacco, all to the heart beat of a hand held drum. When there was a Pipe Carrier in attendance, a Pipe Ceremony was held.

The Pipe is as mystical as any chalice at a mass to me since childhood. I had seen Plains People holding them on the Arthur Godfrey TV program. I felt connected to the Pipe in a deep way. My grandmother was Mohawk. She never spoke about her natal family. The Pipe is not a Haudenosaunee tradition.

The Full Moon and NY Dance (Naraya) Community were 90% the same. Over the years, I have attended numerous Dances held around the country. I made myself acquainted with its many parts to create a sacred space; to the complexity of the altar; to the rhythm and flow of the energies of the three days. I learned how to approach the elders, to listen, to learn. I tried not to ask indelicate questions. I witnessed the differing energies of the various Dance communities and locations. I sought extra ordinary experiences through the songs and movement. I had dreams and visions.

By 2004 I was initiated as a Pipe Carrier by the Dance leader. I became one of the Spirit Keepers whose job was to help manage the logistics of the Dance and support the spirit of the community.

The Pipe Ceremony has a set way of loading tobacco and offering smoke in prayer. It is essential for many ceremonies such as Sweat Lodge. It is essential for the Dance. Our Dance community had a Ute teacher who added layers to the basic ceremony. He taught us a water blessing ritual, songs, creation of ritual objects. He gave me my Ute name in ceremony. At my monthly Pipe gathering, it is his ceremonies we honor…with some additions.

Back in the 70s I had deeply studied dream work based on the southeast Asian Senoi people’s tradition. Later I found out that the Haudenosaunee have a very similar practice. During those times, I also was intrigued by the Don Juan books written by Carlos Castaneda.

There was a famous Lakota medicine man, Black Elk, who as a child had a major vision of bringing about a new world of unity between all colors of humans which the tribal elders saw as significant. They had the whole tribe create the dream physically. With that creation, the dream’s intent was given a path to manifestation. In most traditions such visions are initiatory into being a shaman.

Robert Johnson advocates, in his book, Inner Work, for the manifesting of dreams in a concrete ritualized way. So, when I had a significant dream in June 2001, I created its parts as a series of wire sculptures. As the dream is told, the pieces are placed on a cloth and spiral inward to the center. The ritual is completed and it is dismantled. It has been witnessed. The parts of my dream have come true.

I trained for two years in the Pachakuti Mesa shamanic tradition, where the altar has very specific and ritualized methods of set up: where to add anything requires a ritual, where power is centered. Where healings are done.

The eagle and the condor seek to be united.

I have trained in a number of Bon, Buddhist rituals of healing. Bon is the Tibetan pre-Buddhist shamanic tradition. I have ‘done’ one mantra 60,000 times.

I have practiced core shamanic rituals of journeying and healing. I have trained apprentices in some of my traditions, amongst other things.

Which leads us to the second half of Rosie’s request.

I became a member of the New York City Gay Men’s Shamanic Circle in 2005. We all had differing traditions, Great Basin, Andean, Vedic, Celtic, Korean, Buddhist, Mexican, Core, Faerie, Reiki, Spiritualism, etc. We all had experience in other modalities: dream work, body work, tarot, breath work, scrying, etc. Each tradition informed parts of our regular gatherings. Because we were a closed group, we were able to explore where parts of our individual experiences fit to create a satisfying unified whole.

When the New York City Gay Men’s Shamanic Circle decided to establish a public face with monthly meetings at the LGBTQ Community Center, the original members became stewards. The steward who was leading the Open Circle would follow our basic ritual but do it within his own experience. Setting the altar was almost always the same. Sealing the space varied. Calling in the directions varied. The “Go Round’ was not as structured as a heart circle. Journeys reflected the stewards theme for the circle. Healings were mostly from core shamanic trainings. We often shared our outline within the steward circle to inform and also seek suggestions to adjust the parts of the coming ritual.

So for example, when called upon to lead, I dreamt. In the dream I would be given an outline of how the ritual was to go. The other shamans used their own methods to create the ritual for their time of leadership. Consulting with each other would deepen the work before doing it.

From my life time of training and personal experiences, I have learned that:

The best rituals are planned. Intent is the guide. Flexibility is a necessity.

All rituals come out of our individual traditions and varied personal experiences.

Leaders must be humble in the creation of rituals, being in service to their own and other’s extra ordinary experiences.

Doubt is as important as confidence.

One must exercise a high level of integrity in using traditional modalities, while at the same time, being open to inspiration, to spontaneity, to creativity, to merging experiences . I strongly believe in learning all the rules, so when you break them you know exactly how and why.

Time and place are important.

If there is more than one person leading, their roles need to be clear to each other. The leader(s) needs to create, control and contain the forces of that dynamic space so that people can have extra ordinary experiences in as secure a setting as possible.

The leader(s) of every ritual is solely responsible for how it goes. Within the ritual the leader(s) must be responsive to the needs of the people; responsible to the energies called in or that come without warning. The positive that flows from the ritual belongs to all in attendance. If negative occurs, it is the leader’s task to limit, dissipate or absorb it.

Sometimes rituals seem to go on and on. They don’t.

Their effects do.