Day Thirty-Three

Day Thirty-Three // April 3 // Double-mindedness

“If you don’t make up your mind, your unmade mind will unmake you.” – E. Stanley Jones –

“I have half-a-mind to git’ you,” my mother would sometimes say. I would traipse dirt onto her newlyswept floor or I would use my “outside voice” inside, and I’d hear it: “I have half-a-mind to git’ you!” With an impish gleam in her own eye, she’d scold me with her half-minded warning… but the other half, the guiding half, the half that always won, was entirely of love. And I would always “git” the point.

More often than we’d like to confess, however, we live with a similar condition. We approach life, not halfminded, but double-minded. Unconvinced. Unsure. Unsworn. Sure, we say what we’re supposed to say in church and in all the right company; but in our times

of honest self-awareness, we become aware that we maintain dual “mental citizenship”: with one thought focused squarely on heaven and the following thought still toeing the dull dirt of earth. Our thoughts betray us. It’s as the Book of James warns us: “A double-minded person is unstable in all their ways” (James 1:8) and that he shouldn’t expect to receive anything from God. Is that because God is capricious? No. It’s because we are. It’s because we try to be fully committed to the cause of the cross and, at the same time, fully committed to our own causes, too. It’s because we try to keep the will of the Almighty in mind while, at the same time, clutching to our own will, as well. And nothing short of a profound, life-changing experience of Jesus can change that: for only He can change our minds, only He can renew our minds, only He can transform our minds.

We’ve all heard the old Cherokee legend. One evening, an elderly tribal brave was speaking to his grandson: “My dear one, the battle between two ‘wolves’ is inside us all. One is evil. It is: anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is good. It is: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”

The double-minded life of faith – the one fed only on the meager rations of passing thoughts – always winds up in disappointment. Its fruitlessness leads to dissipation and frustration. But the mind of real faith – the one intentionally and regularly fed by the Spirit – always abounds. Is it easy? No. Is it popular? Of course not. But it is worth it… and it only requires us to finally, fully make up our minds.