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**** VOLUME 1 , EDITION # 0 LOOSE PARTS
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HAVE A LAUGH ON US! OFF THE MARK
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WIZARD OF ID
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IMAGINE THAT
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STRANGER THINGS by TIM THOMSON
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SUDOKU
Fill in the blank squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 thru 9 using logic. Last Month’s Solution:
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THE DOOZIES
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FRANK AND STEINWAY
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FUNNY PAPER
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AGAINST THE GRAIN
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WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE
COMPOSERS
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OPEN MOUTH...INSERT FOOT
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Jim Lein writes about adventure, life, music, and parenthood and has learned that most good stories don’t begin with, “and then I decided to keep my mouth shut.” His home in the Colorado Rockies serves both as an office and as a base camp for a variety of outdoor and musical activities. He has been published in numerous trade journals, business publications, and lifestyle magazines and is now a weekly contributor to Funnies Extra!.
5 Reasons Why Funnies Extra! Is The Best Place ForYour Ad By Jim Lein
P
rint advertising has been effective for centuries. In 1609, an ad appeared in a British newspaper promoting migration opportunities to America. The Brits wanted American stuff but needed selfsufficient, adventurous souls to go get it for them. I guess that kind of backfired on them. But you have to admit, the ads worked. They still do. Internet advertising is still in its infancy and it shows. The challenge with online ads is to get your message heard above the noise. Remember the days when a Pop-Up was a toaster pastry and Spam was something you’d be happy to see float on to the beach if you were starving on a desert island. Shouldn’t Spyware refer to the latest fashions favored by secret agents?
Why advertise in Funnies Extra!? Funnies Extra! Speaks the Univer- want—everyone wants to laugh. Here’s why! 51% of newspaper readers over 65 sal Language of Humor! Funnies Extra! requires no Net- English is the language of business. read the comics. But so do 44% in work Connection. French the language of Love. Fun- the 18-24 range. 43% of newspaper readers just have a high school Funnies Extra! ads are easier to nies Extra! speaks the universal lan- degree, but 38% have a Masters deaccess and read than internet ads. guage of humor. Everybody loves to gree. I could lay more stats on you Funnies Extra!’s is always at its op- laugh at their favorite comic strip but then I’d sound like I was trying timal screen resolution. Its battery even when the ad next to it is for to prove which of us is smarter and never goes dead. Readers don’t need sedation dentistry or 2-for-1 crema- I don’t want to see Guido knocking at least 3 bars of network coverage tion services. And you won’t see any at my door. or a strong WiFi signal. Funnies Ex- of that high-brow British humor or tra! will never give you a virus that subtle humor. We want readers to Funnies Extra! Is Never Outdated. will cause you to lose valuable doc- always ‘get it’—and respond with People are dropping subscriptions uments and data. And nothing will a smile, a laugh, and occasionally to big circulation newspapers beever pop up out of Funnies Extra! to snort when they guffaw. Our comic cause the news is old before it leaves strip artists are forbidden by law to the printing press. 10 years from tell you your boss is calling. make readers wonder who is smartFunnies Extra! Won’t Push Any- er—the artist or the reader. If you now you could pick up the very first edition of Funnies Extra! and it body’s Buttons. don’t understand a Funnies Extra! would be just as funny as the day it These days it easy to find some- comic strip let us know and we will came out. Comic strips are timeless. thing to get mad about. And plenty send Guido to the artist’s house to Think about it—B.C. is still one of of people are more than happy to give them a nuclear wedgie. the most popular strips and it was oblige with provocative statements Many Of The Other Free Papers written thousands of years ago by and actions intended to push some- Seek to Divide Us. Johnny Hartrock. one’s button. In contrast, Bleeding Heart Liberals, the Religious Right, Every free paper is looking for a I hope this unbiased and fact-based Tea Partiers, and Libertarians will niche but I think that can backfire. column has reinforced some things all love Funnies Extra!. So will Young professionals don’t want you already know; place your fullChristians, Muslims, Buddhists, to read a paper with “Senior” in color display ad in Funnies Extra! and Crystal Worshipers. I’ll stop the title. Calorically challenged and folks in your community will there before I push anyone’s button people don’t want to read a paper be talking about your bujsiness because I think you get the picture. with “Healthy” in the title. Funnies while they’re having a laugh on us. Extra! gives everyone what they
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BIZ
by DAVE BLAZEK
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“Actually, neither of them is connected to anything. But it’s sure made it a heck of a lot quieter around here.”
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HOXWINDER HALL
*Lucy and Linus van Pelt of “Peanuts” fame, were brother and sister, but did you know that they had a little brother named Rerun? He sometimes played left-field on Charlie Brown’s baseball team. 15 MINUTES
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THIN LINES by Randy Glasbergen
2
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AMAZING MAZES
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TASTES LIKE CHICKEN by JOSH ALVES
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Funnies Extra! will shine the Spotlight on ‘toons from aspiring cartoonists and pay them too! Comic strips and panels will be published from cartoonists of any age along with a pic and short bio. Send each strip as a PDF file, 300 dpi, CMYK, along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck! (Participation void where prohibited.)
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N THE U.S.A EI .
DOWN 1. Wings 2. Collections 3. After-bath powder 4. Brother of Jacob 5. Repair 6. Luxury boat 7. Curved molding 8. Start over
9. Without teeth 10. Extraneous 11. Intimidate 12. Vigorously passionate 13. If not 21. Knave 25. Consumed food 26. Monster 27. A noble gas 28. Comes from trees 29. Rebuke 30. Obdurate 31. Breathe hard 33. Sleigh 34. Exude 35. Is endebted to 36. Spar 38. Willing to comply 41. Tiny 42. Big ape 44. Adult male 45. Cognizant 46. A protective covering 47. Models 48. Gait faster than a walk 50. Kind of bean 51. Unit of pressure 52. Not sweet 53. Posterior 54. Therefore 55. Bambi was one
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ACROSS 1. Daisy like bloom 6. Bygone era 10. Doing nothing 14. Rental agreement 15. Matured 16. Mangle 17. Collection of maps 18. Formally surrender 19. Rumple 20. Shield 22. Initial wager 23. Bran source 24. Shabby 26. In a forward direction 30. Sudden burst 32. Crystal-lined rock 33. A guest cabin 37. Space 38. Without company 39. Hawkeye State 40. Gift 42. Stares 43. Poverty-stricken 44. Assault sexually 45. Extraterrestrial 47. Average 48. Blockhead 49. Astounded 56. Hindu princess 57. Razzes 58. France’s longest river 59. Chocolate cookie 60. Stringed instrument 61. Move forward suddenly 62. Small slender gull 63. Hearing organs 64. Eagerness
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SPEED BUMP
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THE DEEP END
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Answers to Last Month’s Crossword:
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BC
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FAMILY FUNNIES FORMULATED FROM FAN FAVORITES!