Helping Kids Navigate a New Reality

With many families working and schooling from home, feelings of isolation, frustration and desperation have risen among parents and children.

Helping your kids navigate uncertain times Q

As families continue to navigate these challenges, the mental health of children has been a topic of conversation among parents across Toronto. We spoke with Dr. Joanna Henderson, Director of the Margaret and Wallace McCain Centre for Child, Youth & Family Mental Health at CAMH, about the best strategies for supporting our kids in these uncertain times.

How do I know what my child needs right now?

JH: The needs of children and youth right now will differ by age group. Younger children are emotionally close to parents and caregivers, and are highly affected by how the adults around them are coping.

Parents have an important role to play in modeling behaviour for their children. It can be hard to take the time for yourself but if you’re not sleeping well or eating well it can be hard to support other people.

Younger kids are less likely to verbalize their needs and emotions than older kids. Look for changes in behaviour like changes in sleep, responses to encouragement or rules and emotional regulation — like crying or angrier outbursts.

WHERE TO FIND SUPPORT

• Your family doctor • Your child’s teacher/school • Children’s Mental Health Ontario cmho.org • Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868

How can I support my teen — especially if they don’t want to talk about their feelings?

JH: Teens are in a different developmental space, focusing on engaging with peers rather than family. Teens are more likely to verbalize their emotions but can be reluctant to open up to their parents or caregivers. You can look for similar signs of emotional distress in teens as in younger children: isolating themselves in their room, becoming highly irritable or disregarding activities they would normally enjoy.

Teens can be resistant to the “special conversation” had around big events or changes. It's better to have regular conversations about important things routinely, so it opens up a path to have a natural conversation. Since teens are peer focused, starting a conversation about how their friends are feeling can be a window into discussing their own mental health.

I’m worried my child is falling behind in school — help!

JH: If you (and your child) are finding pandemic-era schooling a challenge you’re not alone; everyone is in the same situation. However you feel your child's learning has been compromised, that’s true across the world.

De-emphasize academic achievement right now, your kids will be okay! We can take a step back from worrying about academic achievement in grade 3, you want to keep you kid reading, love learning, but the goal should be to love learning. Keep the high stress pressure off.

What can I do to help my child?

JH: Do not underestimate the importance of routine. Keeping a regular schedule for kids and teens can be vital to maintaining mental wellness. This includes activities like eating, sleeping and social interactions. While it may be difficult to get the level of physical activity necessary for physical and mental health, it’s still good to plan that into the day.

Find times to connect with your children outside of time spent on chores and homework; sit and read a book, go on a walk, watch a show your child enjoys – any time spent connecting is invaluable.

If possible, maintain connection with extended family. Kids benefit from relationships with family even if interactions are brief.

Do you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

JH: Children and young adults are resilient — don’t underestimate your kids. Shift the focus from how your children are struggling to amplify and celebrate their growth and resiliency.

Listen to your children. Young people have brilliant ideas. We need to find ways to engage young people in decision making and planning. Some young people are struggling, many are being resilient, most are both, and can be both.