exc itin gO ri g in E pic Ins i de !
Free Com ic Bo ok W eek Edit io n
It's TV you read!
The Newest STAR in a Galaxy of Heroes!
FR E
E!
SITCOMICSTM PROUDLY PRESENTS:
TARTUP Episode One: “Starting Point!”
WRITTEN BY DARIN HENRY
ART BY CRAIG ROUSSEAU
COLOR ART BY GLENN WHITMORE
LETTERED BY MARSHALL DILLON
COVER ART BY CRAIG ROUSSEAU
CHARACTER DESIGN BY DARIN HENRY & RON FRENZ
Starring Renee Garcia-Gibson!
300 POUND SINGLE MOM BY DAY…
R HOUIGHT! R E N P ILE OM BY M 300P E R M SU
STARTUP™ IS
DEDICATED TO URSULA BURTON, OUR TWO CHILDREN, MY BROTHER AND SISTER AND MY PARENTS. - DH
ALL CONTENT SUITABLE FOR ANYONE ALLOWED TO WATCH BROADCAST TV AFTER 8PM.
Sitcomics™ Presents Startup™ #1 (FREE COMIC BOOK WEEK EDITION) January 2018. Published by Sitcomics™ 171 Pier Avenue, #207 Santa Monica, CA 90405 All contents Copyright © 2018 by The Henry Farm Inc. All Rights Reserved. The stories, characters and incidents mentioned in this magazine are entirely fictional. No actual persons, living or dead, are intended or should be inferred. More information at www.Sitcomics.net or at www.facebook.com/Sitcomics Follow us @Sitcomics
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA LAST WEEK
The best day of my life...
...did not get off to a great start.
BeEP!BeEP! BeEP! BeEP!BeEP! BE--! My name is Renee Garcia-Gibson. |'m a 33 year old single mom. | weigh 300 pounds. And this is the story of how | became a super-hero.
Introducing:
TARTUP COFFEE’S UP! AND YOU BETTER BE TOO, MOM! | CAN’T BE LATE FOR SCHOOL AGAIN.
| SAW THAT CANDY BAR. DID YOU NOT HEAR THE DOCTOR SAY TO CUT OUT THE SWEETS?
IT’S FROM LAST NIGHT, MALCOLM, AND | ONLY ATE HALF. -SIP-
<WHY DID YOU SCREAM? IS THERE A ROBBER?!>*
NO. THORRY, MAMA. | JUTHT THIPPED TOO THOON. *Translated from Spanish.
The bat-wielding granny is my mother, Rosa Garcia. | live with her and my 12 year old son Malcolm.
MAMA? FROM NOW ON WHEN YOU DROP ME OFF -CAN YOU STAY IN THE CAR?
Malcolm’s an eighth grader at Malvern Junior High in West Philly. We’ve always been close but lately it’s becoming clear that “close” is no longer a good thing.
WHY? UH, NO REASON.
And if you think the worst part of my day is over -- think again.
8:25. TIME TO CHECK YOUR DEWHURST COLA TRAFFIC. IF YOU’RE TAKING THE SCHUYLKILL INTO DOWNTOWN, BETTER CALL THE BOSS AND TELL THEM YOU’LL BE VERY LATE FOR WORK TODAY. OR VERY EARLY FOR WORK TOMORROW.
Of course bad traffic doesn’t usually ruin my day-NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...
As long as | make it to work before the lot fills up.
| work as a court stenographer at City Hall in Philadelphia. |’m the person typing away in the corner of the courtroom who nobody ever notices...
Except when |’m not there.
THORRY |’M LATE. | THTOPPED TO GET GATH!
| usually work the S-class cases involving super-powered beings.
YOUR HONOR, MR. ROLLERCOASTER’S TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INNOCENT LIVES REFLECTS A SEVERE MENTAL DISORDER. HE IS, TO PUT IT BLUNTLY --
The guy talking is Dawson Miller, the city’s top prosecutor of super-criminals. Or as | like to call him...
The prose-cutie! --A MENACE TO SOCIETY!
Of course | haven't told him that because that would require actually talking to him. For now, |’m content to admire him from afar.
MS. GARCIA-GIBSON? | ASKED YOU TO READ BACK THE PROSECUTOR’S LAST REMARK.
UH, | WILL, YOUR HONOR. AFTER THE PROSECUTOR REPEATS HIS LAST REMARK. Yep, Dawson’s definitely the man of my dreams.
Okay, sometimes you make your own bad luck. But at least my tongue was feeling better.
You may have noticed |’m on the heavy side. |’ve been trying to eat better. It’s tough but |’m determined to be tougher. So at lunchtime, with salad in hand, | made my way back to the office break room.
HEY, BEAUTIFUL! WAIT UP!
WANT SOME COMPANY FOR LUNCH?
FEELING REALLY STUPID RIGHT NOW.
MY DAY DIDN’T START UNTIL | SAW YOU, CASSANDRA
YOU BETTER SAVE SOME OF THAT SMOOTH TALK FOR THE COURTROOM!
| suddenly felt inadequate. And so did my salad. So it was goodbye, diet. Hello, vending machine.
QUITE THE POWER LUNCH YOU GOT THERE. IT’S MY TURN TO BUY SNACKS FOR THE OFFICE, SAM.
WELL, ACTUALLY | AM--
DAWSON! HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING, SWEETIE?!
IT’S BEEN YOUR TURN THIS WHOLE WEEK, RENEE.
HA HA, CHECK IT OUT! A BEACHED WHALE JUST WASHED ASHORE!
That afternoon, as | walked the ten blocks back to the closest parking spot | could find for less than twenty dollars, | took solace in the fact that this terrible day couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t possibly get any worse. Yeah, right.
The sad truth is there will always be days when...
even after you hit bottom--
Bottom can still find a way--
...to hit back.
The woman in the yellow armor is a nasty piece of work called Crunch.
The woman she’s beating on is Raider, one of the most popular members of the Heroes Union.
Raider is a mutant who can absorb most forms of energy.
Once that energy becomes trapped inside her body, it reacts against itself.
HA HA HA!! ANY LAST WORDS, RAIDER?
Building in power like a living, breathing rechargeable battery. JUST THESE. WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER. AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, CRUNCHIE...
YOU DIDN’T KILL ME!
| HOPE YOUR LITTLE SUPER SUIT IS INSURED ‘CAUSE IF IT WASN’T READY FOR REPAIRS BEFORE--
IT SURE IS NOW!
WELL, NOW. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY’S HIDING A BANGIN’ BOD UNDER ALL THAT ARMOR! MAYBE YOU AND | SHOULD MEET UP FOR COFFEE SOMETIME. ONCE YOU’RE OUT OF PRISON, THAT IS.
YOU’RE A LUCKY GAL, CRUNCHIE. NOT MANY WOMEN CAN PULL OFF THE “COFFEE SHOP AWNING” LOOK.
By now you may be wondering what yours truly’s been doing during this whole super-fight. |’ll give you one guess.
HELP!
DON’T WORRY, HONEY! RAIDER’S GONNA SAVE YA!
PLEASE HURRY! | CAN’T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER!
THIS IS REBECCA NIKKEI, REPORTING LIVE FOR THE HERO NEWS NETWORK. |’M IN DOWNTOWN PHILLY WHERE RAIDER, THE WOMAN WARRIOR, HAS JUST TACKLED THE ARMORED ASSASSIN, CRUNCH. BUT IT APPEARS RAIDER CAN’T QUITE CLOCK OUT JUST YET!
AT LEAST | THINK |’M GONNA SAVE YOU!
HEY, RAIDER! AT HER SIZE, SHOULDN’T YOU GET CREDIT FOR SAVING THREE PEOPLE?
WELL, HELLO THERE, LOVELY ONE! |’M SURE ALL THE FOLKS WATCHING WANT TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE PLUS-SIZED PEDESTRIAN RAIDER JUST RESCUED!
WELL, AS YOU JUST SAW, THE SCALES OF JUSTICE GOT QUITE A WORKOUT DURING RAIDER’S HEAVY-DUTY RESCUE. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU MISSED IT, DON’T WORRY--
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
NO, PLEASE STOP! EVERYONE’S LAUGHING! TURN OFF THAT CAMERA!
| HAVE A FEELING THIS EXTRA-LARGE FOOTAGE WILL BE GOING VIRAL!
WHO--WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
GREAT! |’LL BE A LAUGHING STOCK AT WORK FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! | MIGHT AS WELL JUST QUIT! PERHAPS | CAN BE OF SOME ASSISTANCE.
MY NAME IS DOW. DOCTOR DAVID DOW. | WAS IN THE CROWD WHEN YOU WERE RESCUED.
AS FOR WHAT | WANT? WELL, TO PUT IT SIMPLY: | WANT TO HELP YOU. {SNIFF} |’M BEYOND HELP.
| DON’T THINK SO. YOU SEE, |’VE DEVELOPED A WEIGHT-LOSS MEDICATION THAT CAN--
YEAH, | BETTER STOP YOU THERE. | CAN'T AFFORD DIET DRUGS ON A STENOGRAPHER’S SALARY AND MY INSURANCE WON’T COVER THEM.
NO NO, THERE’S NO CHARGE. MY FORMULA IS STILL IN ITS TESTING PHASE.
THE HUMILIATION, THE REJECTION, THE GIGGLES AS YOU WALK AWAY. MY DRUG CAN PUT AN END TO ALL OF IT. AND NOT IN SIX MONTHS, SIX WEEKS, OR SIX DAYS... BUT IN SIX MINUTES.
OF COURSE, THE CHOICE IS ENTIRELY YOURS.
MY DEAR RENEE. WOULD A CHUBBY CHASER DEVELOP A DRUG THAT CAN MAKE FAT PEOPLE THIN?
WELL, DOC, | REALLY HOPE YOU’RE NOT SOME KIND OF PSYCHO CHUBBY CHASER. | WAS ACTUALLY HOPING YOU’D DENY THE PSYCHO PART...
| CAN ASSURE YOU, YOU’RE IN SAFE HANDS. JUST REMOVE YOUR COAT AND STEP OVER TOWARD THE SINK.
UH, YOU EVER THINK OF HIRING A NURSE? OR A MAID? SUCH THINGS COST MONEY AND |’M CURRENTLY IN A CASH POOR SITUATION. JOIN THE CLUB.
OW!
SO HOW EXACTLY DOES YOUR MIRACLE DIET DRUG WORK?
SORRY. | NEED TO MEASURE YOUR BODY FAT. IT’S CRUCIAL IN DETERMINING THE PROPER DOSAGE. IT AMPLIFIES YOUR EXISTING METABOLISM, SPEEDING UP THE FAT MOLECULES SO THAT ANYTHING YOU DON’T NEED SIMPLY MELTS AWAY.
SO |’LL BE BURNING FAT LIKE |'M EXERCISING WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO EXERCISE? PRECISELY. ALL GAIN WITH NO PAIN. WELL, DON’T JUST STAND THERE, DOC, GIVE ME THAT DANG PILL!
HEH HEH. IT’S A SOLUTION ACTUALLY. IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. IF IT WORKS AS EXPECTED, |'LL BE A GAZILLIONAIRE. YOU’LL DIE.
AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK?
EXCUSE ME?!!
GKKK!!!
OF COURSE |'LL BE DEAD TOO. YOU SEE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH IS A LONG AND EXPENSIVE PROCESS. | HAVE TAKEN ON CONSIDERABLE DEBT AND THE PEOPLE TO WHOM | AM INDEBTED RECENTLY MADE IT QUITE CLEAR THAT MY OWN HEALTH IS AT RISK IF |’M UNABLE TO RETURN THEIR LOAN... WITH INTEREST.
BUT | HAVE NO DOUBT THIS EXPERIMENT WILL REVERSE MY FORTUNES. MY PLAN IS TO SELL THE PATENT FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WELL BEFORE THEY COME TO COLLECT.
|’M HERE FOR THE MONEY!
WELL, SO MUCH FOR THAT PLAN.
THE NAME’S GLUT, WOMAN! AND YOU BETTER JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!
DOCTOR DOW! WHAT’S GOING ON? WHO IS--?
ALTHOUGH JUDGING FROM THE SIZE OF YOU, KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT AIN’T EXACTLY YOUR SPECIALTY HEH HEH.
NOW GET OUTTA MY WAY, CHUBS! THIS QUACK AND | GOT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS!
MY BOSS NEEDS HIS 20 G’S DOC. YOU CAN EITHER PAY WITH CASH OR YOUR LIFE. |’M NOW HAPPY TO ACCEPT BOTH!
DOCTOR! SOMETHING’S WRONG! |’M STARTING TO FEEL WO O ZY!
OHH!!!
RENEE, DON’T BE ALARMED. IT’S PROBABLY JUST-- UGH!
D-DOCTOR! IT’S GETTING WORSE. | FEEL LIKE MY INSIDES ARE BURNING UP!
RENEE!!
PLEASE! THAT WOMAN IS MY PATIENT! YOU MUST LET ME HELP HER! SHE MIGHT DIE!
YOU WON’T BE NEEDING THAT JUNK ANYMORE, DOC.
MY RESEARCH!
GOOD. THAT MEANS ONE LESS WITNESS TO KILL.
IN FACT, YOU WON’T BE NEEDING ANYTHING NOW -- EXCEPT A BODY BAG!
NO, PLEASE! | JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME! YEP. JOB’S DONE, BOSS. THAT DOCTOR GUY IS NOW A PAST TENSE VERB.
SUCH A PITY. | SHALL MISS HIS WONDERFULLY DARK SENSE OF HUMOR. DID ANYONE ELSE SEE YOU?
JUST ONE OF HIS PORKY PATIENTS, BUT SHE MAY BE DEAD TOO.
AND IF SHE AIN’T, SHE WILL BE.
| WOULDN’T BE TOO SURE OF THAT!
ALRIGHT, DIRTBAG! |’M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW | DID THAT BUT IF YOU MOVE SO MUCH AS A MUSCLE, |’LL DO IT AGAIN!
WHAT THE HECK?! WHERE’S THE REST OF YOU?
IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT POTION! DOCTOR, YOUR FORMULA WORKS!
...DOCTOR?
YOU
MURDERER!
THAT MAN WAS TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE AND YOU KILLED HIM!
YOU’RE IN TROUBLE NOW, HONEY! WHEN THE CLOUD SHOW UP, YOU WON’T STAND A-- HEY!
BOSS! |’M NOT SURE WHAT’S GOING ON HERE BUT | NEED BACK UP! SEND IN THE CLOUD! NOW!
OW! STAND STILL WHEN | PUNCH YOU!
But the power inside of me wouldn’t let me stand still!
|’d never been in a fight in my life but | landed blow after blow against Glut as if he was standing still.
The Cloud showed up.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT US A FIGHTER! GOOD. | LIKE FIGHTERS.
And just when my confidence was really starting to kick in...
YOU GUYS LIKE YOUR ANONYMITY, HUH? WELL, SO DO |! ALRIGHT, WHO’S FIRST?
According to the Heroes Union Battle Blog, the Cloud aren’t technically crooks or villains.
They’re just ordinary people who get their kicks fighting heroes.
The Cloud has thousands of well-trained members all over the world. They work regular jobs to pay the bills but they’re on call 24/7.
Super-villains call them in whenever they need help against a hero. It’s basically Uber for bad guys.
And since The Cloud only enter the scene after the first punch is thrown, they can hide behind the legal loophole that they were only showing up to “help”.
Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a cult built up around violence and most ordinary people wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stand a chance against them.
But as you just saw, ordinary and | went our separate ways a few minutes ago.
And forty-five seconds later, the only ones still standing are me and the murderer.
Y- YOU AIN’T HUMAN!
BECAUSE IF | WEREN’T HUMAN, YOU’D ALREADY BE DEAD.
OH, |’M HUMAN ALL RIGHT.
ALTHOUGH NOW THAT | THINK OF IT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE.
MAYBE THE PROBLEM WITH OUR SOCIETY IS THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU AREN’T TAKEN OUT OF CIRCULATION PERMANENTLY.
WELL, AFTER TODAY, YOU WON’T BE SOCIETY’S PROBLEM EVER AGAIN.
Revenge. Glut deserved it and thanks to the Doctor’s formula | was able to give it to him!
But killing Glut wouldn’t save the Doctor.
It’d just make me as bad as Glut.
And |’d prefer death to that!
The sirens were all it took for me to get the heck out of there. The last thing | needed was to be on TV twice in the same day. HE’S ALL YOURS, GUYS. YOU’LL FIND THE MAN HE MURDERED ON THE SIXTH FLOOR!
HEY, STOP! WE NEED TO ASK YOU SOME--
As | ran off, | couldn’t stop thinking of Doctor Dow, the genius who had invented the miracle diet drug.
And how sad it was that the secret to his gazillion dollar idea ...
died with him.
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