© 2018 The Henry Farm, Inc
23 pa ge s
of cr ee py co me dy !
fre ec om ics we ek edi tio n
It's TV you read!
FR E
E!
SITCOMICS TM PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Episode One “The End” Starring
Brody Langenbach!
WRITTEN BY DARIN HENRY ART BY TOM RICHMOND
COLOR ART BY K. MICHAEL RUSSELL
LETTERED BY MARSHALL DILLON COVER BY TOM RICHMOND
Nothin’ goes better with brains than beer!
Z-PEOPLE IS
WRITTEN BY DARIN HENRY ART BY AL MILGROM COLOR ART BY GLENN WHITMORE LETTERED BY MARSHALL DILLON
ALL CONTENT SUITABLE FOR ANYONE ALLOWED TO WATCH BROADCAST TV AFTER 9PM.
Sitcomics™ Presents Z-People Binge Book™ No. 1 (FREE COMIC BOOK WEEK EDITION) January 2018. Published by Sitcomics™ 171 Pier Avenue, #207 Santa Monica, CA 90405 All contents Copyright © 2018 by The Henry Farm Inc. All Rights Reserved. The stories, characters and incidents mentioned in this magazine are entirely fictional. No actual persons, living or dead, are intended or should be inferred. More information at www.Sitcomics.net or at www.facebook.com/Sitcomics Follow us @Sitcomics
Here they come!
There must be hundreds of them, Dad!
We're live in thirty seconds. Austin, give me my brush!
Quick! into my garage! Sandra's already set up inside!
You're worried about your hair at a time like this? Seriously honey, get some perspective...
...if anything needs a zhuzh, it’s Tim’s garage. The only kind of grease I don’t see on this floor is elbow grease. Am I right, people?
Dad, they’re right outside!
Oh no! I’m going to die in a place I wouldn’t be caught dead in!
Brody, help me reinforce the door! The rest of you, grab whatever you can to protect yourself!
I'm not touching anything in here!
This is Annie Livingston, reporting live from the suburbs east of Pittsburgh where, as you can see---we are
under siege!!
How's that hunt for a cure coming, Sandra? Anything we can--
They're breaking through!
What did I just step in?!
All of you,
shut up! I'm about to be on TV!
Three days ago, this entire region was--
Annie!
Annie!!
Oh no! Dad, look!!
Hold on, Austin! I've got you!
Not my shoe, dummy!! My leg!! Grab my--
explain something to me, Tony. Most people die old, right?
So how's come none of them zombies could get themselves a senior discount at iHOP?
Ew, Austin...
Oh, Austin...
Because they're not zombies. They're living people infected by a virus that transformed them into mindless, flesh-eating monsters.
Any chance you could board up know-it-all's hole next?
I'm real sorry, Ms. Livingston. Was he your boyfriend?
There's just too many of them! Help Sandra pack up her equipment! We'll have to run for--!
No. {sniff sniff}
He was my
cameraPERSON!
Austin was more --far more-than just my boyfriend.
Tim, look out!
Ungghh!!
Get back! Dad, is Brody okay?!
Brody?!
I don't know, Jay. His arm's bleeding pretty bad!
Brody, you okay, bud? How you feeling?
He's becoming one of them! We gotta wack Hillbilly Jim now!
No! Give Sandra time to find a cure.
Yo! Science chicky!
Not zombie chow. Victims of a virus that transforms people into mindless, flesh-eating monsters...
By then we'll all be zombie chow!
Any luck on your magic formula?
...Chow.
Yo! Sexist jerk! The name's Sandra and the answer is still no!
They've broken through!
No way! look! The one with the whistle is Coach Smalley! He teaches at the same school I do! Small apocalypse, huh!
We're all going to die! We're all going to DiE!!!
Brody, I need back up.
Holy jeeeeez!
Brody, get up. Dad needs your help...
...Brody?
He's a zombie!
Oh no! My equipment!
How? This moron just destroyed the equipment that might have saved our lives.
Dad!
And your nasty goo just ruined my best suit, so I'd call us even!
I know, I know! Sandra, keep working!
You selfish jackass! You just killed us all!
Hey!
No!
You're going first!
No!
So if we're all going down...!
Why aren't they eating him?
They won't even get near him!
You think it's a black thing?
Punk! You tried to kill me!
You all saw it, right? He threw me right into all those--
Okay, two words: law suit.
it's that green goo. it must be! Sandra, what is that?!
it's spinal fluid I extracted from a decapitated zombie.
For the umpteenth time, they're not zombies, they're actually--
This goo is some kind of zombie repellent! Everyone, smear it all over yourselves!
Ugh, it smells worse than poop left in a hot car trunk for six No! weeks...I'm No way! I am guessing. not putting that gunk on me!
What if it makes my face break out? Bad skin could kill my career!
Your career won't be the only thing getting killed if you don't---Put it on!
Catch! No! I'll Keep handle this back! This my way! mace is loaded.
Yeah, okay, give me the goo.
Somebody get me a #&*@! towel.
No, please! Just hand it to me! This is a $1500 outfit!
One hour later... They're still moving off. it's like they don't even know we're here!
This goo really works.
We'll all have to get used to it. This goo really reeks.
Not me, kiddo. I'm getting out of here. This is Annie Livingston. Get me the assignment editor.
Yes, of course I'm still alive. Just connect me, you cretin.
Her phone it's still probably works? some kind of network news satellite phone.
Well, I went around the whole neighborhood. No sign of Brody.
Forget Brody, Dad. He's one of them now.
Can she use it to order us a pizza?
What?! Who wants to talk to me? I'm being put through to the Oval Office. President Warner wants to speak to me.
What?! The President! Put him on speaker!
Hello?
Mr. President, hi. it's Annie Livingston, BNN news. We actually met last year.
I'm sorry, I don't recall--
You told me I had a lovely pair of--
So how many Oh yes, of you are yes. I still left remember there? now...Such a piercing green.
Six, sir.
Who said that?
Tim Starner. There's Annie, my son Jay, me, Perry Smalley, our high school drama teacher, and Joe Brooks, assistant manager at Donaldson Motors.
Last but not least is Sandra Cho. Sandy's the one who found a cure.
Like a zombie bug spray. A cure?!
Well, it just repels them.
Actually, the manager was eaten, so technically I am now acting manager.
...Uh, congratulations?
Oh yeah we've had that since this Listen, folks, afternoon. the good news is we've contained the outbreak to a relatively small area in Western Pennsylvania. The bad news is the three million other people stuck in that quarantine area with you weren't so lucky.
Three million?!
Quarantine?!
Cheese curls?!
STUCK?!
Now, calm down.
We've even got paying jobs for you to do while you're under quarantine.
Are you saying we're stuck in here with three million zombies?!
We won't let you rot. We'll stay in constant contact with you and airdrop in all the comforts of outside society.
What kind of jobs?
What kind of pay?
it's fine. I'm not busy. Bring her in.
We'll eventually need to round them all up if we ever manage to find a real cure. This way, honey.
Well, since the zombies aren't really zombies but infected humans--
Toldja.
So in the meantime, we need you survivors to, you know, track down all three million “non-living" Americans and tag them, like they do with wild animals. We'll airdrop all the tagging equipment along with your first batch of supplies in an hour or so. So what do you say? You'll be like our very own Zombie Squad. Fun, right? ...
Mr. President, my wife Renee Starner was in Altoona when this whole thing started.
She never made it back so if you could just find out if she's--
Huh. They must've hung up.
No, we're still here.
Uh, listen, Tom--
Tim.
I've got Putin on the other line and he's not a big fan of the White House on-hold music so I can't help you with that right now.
But I promise to check in again in a week or two. A month tops. Gotta go!
But sir, if you could just-
Mom!
Don't give up hope, Jay.
I don't believe it. This freaking assignment was supposed to springboard my freaking career! Now I'm stuck in freaking Pittsburgh!
You can forget Pittsburgh, sunshine. We're living in Zombietown now.
No, I’m sorry, but technically this isn't Zombietown. it's actually--
Mmff mmmmff mmff!!
now It's time to visit Barbra Macabre's Morbid Museum! Take it away, Barbra!
AND THIS IS WHERE WE PROCESS AND PACKAGE OUR MOST POPULAR PRODUCT, THE MAN-BURGER.
THE MAN-BURGER! “A HAMBURGER IS “THE MEAT TREAT YOU JUST JUST A HAMBURGER BUT A MAN-BURGER HEAT TO EAT! ” MAKES YOU A MAN!" HEE HEE!
GUARDING THIS YES, |'M FACILITY SHOULDN'T FAMILIAR BE TOO WITH OUR CHALLENGING. COMMERCIALS, MR. COBB. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU'LL HAVE COMPANY ON THE OVERNIGHT SHIFT.
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT ME! HUH?!
THAT'S RIGHT, COBB! IT'S YOUR OL’ PAL AND NEW BOSS, CHESTER LONG.
AND THE ONLY THING | LIKE BETTER THAN GUARDING MAN-BURGERS, IS EATING THEM!
OF COURSE HE IS! | HAD A LOT OF LAUGHS WITH MARK BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOU MUST BE THRILLED TO BE WORKING WITH YOUR OLD FRIEND, MR. COBB!
WELL, ACTUALLY | UH--
‘S’MATTER? AIN'T YA GLAD TA SEE ME, MARK?
WELL, |'LL LEAVE YOU TWO TO CATCH UP. AND TRY TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE TONIGHT.
NO WAIT--WHAT WAS OH THAT NICKNAME YEAH... | GAVE YOU?
DON'T WORRY, MS. BROCK! WE WILL!
SKIDMARK!
OW!
WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE GONNA DO ALL THE WORK WHILE | HAVE ALL THE FUN. STARTING NOW!
WHEN | SAW YOUR NAME ON THE JOB APPLICATION, | PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR YOU. SO YOU OWE ME. SEEING YOU AGAIN IS A REAL BLAST FROM THE PAST!
AND SO IS THIS! HEH HEH!
ACKKK!! KAFF! KAFF!
NOW GO DO THE ROUNDS FOR ME. MY ONLINE POKER WON'T PLAY ITSELF. EXCEPT WHEN | TELL IT TO! HAR HAR!
HEY! WHO'S THERE?!
RELAX, SKID-MARK! IT'S JUST ME!
SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO EAT MORE MANBURGERS.
AND SPEAKING OF OUT, |'M HEADING OUT TO THAT NIGHTCLUB OVER ON TRINDLE ROAD. |LL BE BACK A FEW MINUTES BEFORE | NEED TO BE.
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE! HEY, WHAT THE BOSS DON'T KNOW, WON'T HURT HER.
OF COURSE, THERE AIN'T ENOUGH JARS IN THIS WHOLE FACTORY TO MAKE YOU A MAN! |'D NEVER EAT THAT SLOP! YOU EVER READ THE INGREDIENTS? THOSE THINGS'LL KILL YOU.
BUT IT WILL HURT YOU IF YOU SQUEAL! BESIDES, EVERYBODY WILL TAKE MY SIDE BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME.
NAH. ‘CAUSE |'M NOT WEAK LIKE YOU! THEY DO GIVE ME HELLA BAD GAS THOUGH. BETTER OUT THAN IN.
HA!
AND NOBODY EVER LIKES YOU... SKID-MARK! ULP!
HEY, CHESTER, WAIT UP!
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO--?
| GOT A LITTLE GOING AWAY PRESENT FOR YOU!
MARK, WHAT HAPPENED TO CHESTER? THAT'S HIS UNIFORM, ISN'T IT?
A NIGHTCLUB?! THAT LOUDMOUTH WENT TO A NIGHTCLUB?!
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. |--
SPARE ME THE EXCUSES! | DON'T CARE IF HE IS YOUR FRIEND.
|'M SORRY, MS. BROCK. CHESTER TOLD ME TO COVER FOR HIM LAST NIGHT WHILE HE WENT TO A NIGHTCLUB AND THEN |-|--
CHESTER'S FIRED AND YOU'RE THE NEW NIGHT SUPERVISOR.
NIGHT SUPERVISOR? ME?
MARK, TONY AND | HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE UP HERE IN CORPORATE.
CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY! HEY, HOW ABOUT WE CELEBRATE WITH YOUR FIRST-EVER MAN-BURGER?
IT IS WEIRD HOW | SPENT ALL THAT TIME GUARDING MAN-BURGERS WITHOUT EVER TRYING ONE. THAT'S WHY WE KNEW THEY'D BE SAFE WITH YOU!
WELL, MARK --CHEW CHEW-WHAT DO YOU THINK?
HONESTLY? THAT WAS THE BEST THING | EVER TASTED!
BETTER ASK HIM AGAIN AFTER HE COMES UP FOR AIR!
‘REJECT’? OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE TRICK CHESTER LONG TAUGHT US BEFORE HE GOT FIRED. IF WE WRITE THE WORD “REJECT” ON | MIGHT THE OUTSIDE, WE CAN TAKE HAVE TO-THE BOX HOME. WAIT, WHY DOES THAT BOX SAY...
IT MUST'VE BEEN! YOU ATE THE WHOLE JAR IN ONE SITTING!
BUT DON'T WORRY, THIS STUFF IS SO LOADED WITH PRESERVATIVES, IT CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING!
| FOUND THIS CASE BEHIND THE FIRE DOOR. PROBABLY HIDING THERE FOR YEARS!
BUT THAT'S MY WRITING! | STUCK THAT BOX BEHIND THE FIRE DOOR AFTER |-|--
AFTER YOU WHAT, MARK?
MARK!!! MARK? WHAT'S WRONG?!
ARGH! MY STOMACH! IT FEELS LIKE IT'S TURNING INSIDE OUT.
IT'S OVER! OH, THANK GOD. IT'S OVER.
SEE? | TOLD YOU IT WAS BETTER OUT THAN IN!
HUH?! WHO?!
WHOA NELLY! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING, SKID-MARK? IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEBODY DIED IN HERE!
MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE, THANKS TO YOU, SOMEBODY DID!
NO! STAY BACK!
NOOOO!!!!
NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!
MARK, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THERE'S NO ONE THERE!
HEY, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
THE MEAT LOCKER! CHESTER!
|'LL JUST HIDE IN HERE ‘TIL CHESTER FADES AWAY!
| AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL |'VE HAD MY REVENGE, SKID-MARK!
IN A FEW MINUTES, YOU WON'T NEED TO! SEE YOU IN HELL, SKID-MARK!
GASP! NO! STOP! | CAN'T... BREATHE!
POOR GUY! HE HAD SUCH A PROMISING FUTURE!
ASPHYXIATION DUE TO EXTREME AMOUNTS OF CARBON DIOXIDE AND METHANE.
LOOK AT HIS FACE! HE MUST HAVE BEEN TERRIFIED! WHAT COULD HAVE KILLED HIM?
THE WEIRD THING IS THERE'S NO TRACE OF IT NOW. IT JUST DISSIPATED LIKE IT NEVER EXISTED.
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