April 1, 2014

CHRONICLE Richland

Vol. XXXIX, Issue 10 April 1, 2014

Baseball team fighting back Pg. 3

Also inside:

‘Divergent’ review Pg. 5 April Fools’ Day Pg. 7

Richlandchronicle.com

Official Chronicle Outlets

#Chronicle DCCCD

Campus

Positions open for student government elections Joyce Jackson Copy Editor

All six positions of the Student Government Association (SGA) are open for the upcoming election April 23-24. Voting will take place from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. and from 5 to 7 p.m. in the student lounge.

Student Programs specialist Jason Barr, in charge of SGA elections, said students who apply will need to show their ID when they come to vote.

“You can only vote once,” Barr said.

Barr said last year the Student Government Association members made the changes in our constitution and by-laws, and they voted on it.

“We used to only elect the president and vice president,” Barr said. “The other positions were filled after the year started just from the group. Now those positions will be run for just like the vice president and president.”

The poeple who are elected on April 23-24 will officially begin their duties the last day of the spring semester.

“That’s when the current officers end,” Barr said. “So far, we’ve received applications for the the president and vice president positions.

None for the other four yet. If we are unable to fill these positions through the elections, we’ll wait until the fall. We’ll select them from within the larger group of SGA.” The SGA also selects senators whose positions are open to all students.

“Right now, it’s set up where they [students] will fill out an application but if they attend our three meetings in a row, they can be sworn in as a senator,” Barr said.

Barr said that the SGA is important because it serves as the voice of our students to administrators.

“We meet at least once a semester with Dr. Kay Eggleston [president] and the vice

Image courtesy Kim Deng

Current members of the Student Government Association are (front row, left to right): Katie Corzo, Rida Saleem, Nguyen Tran, Nariman Al-Matari, Ashely Deleon and Muneerah Jemal. Back row: Reinaldo Turricos, Aaron Smith, Stephen Howsley, Celso Arellano, Quynth Pham, Shiva Shah and Aaron Janke.

presidents to share ideas and concerns about improving the campus,” Barr said. “Also, our SGA members get leadership experience.

They get opportunities to go to conferences, to learn how to work not only as a team but work in a structured environment that uses parliamentary procedure, Robert’s Rules of

Order, which is used in a lot of business and organizations.” Barr noted a few of the issues the SGA has handled this semester. One was locker room innovation in the gym.

“That was due to recommendations of the SGA,” he said. “The campus will have water bottle refill stations. One has already been

installed. It’s in Crockett Hall near the Richland Collegiate High School office. It’s free.

Students can fill their water bottles.”

Barr said the SGA brought that to the table.

The administrators agreed and put them in.

Barr said he would like to encourage students to apply for one of the SGA positions.

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

Richland students perform original composed pieces

2

PETE SHANNON Staff Writer

Nine of Richland’s student composers gave a fantastic performance on March 25, in Fannin Hall. They called on the talents of their fellow musicians to demonstrate not only to their teachers, but also to their peers, what it’s like to bind a few moments of precious time into an exquisite aural experience.

As composition professor Jordan Kuspa announced in his introductory remarks, all of the pieces performed on stage were world premieres, and as such the listeners were gifted with the double benefit of participating in a potentially historical moment as well as offering the assembled musical constructors some valuable feedback about their works. From the general audience response, which was overwhelmingly enthusiastic, it appears all of Richland’s current crop of budding composers can look forward to

long and prosperous creative careers.

Leading off the program was Owen Zamora whose rich, resonant bass voice and impressive tuxedo-clad persona gave a splendid rendition of guitarist Michael Brock’s new piece titled “Revelation: That of God.” This was followed by the prologue to an opera titled “Rebecca” written by Richland’s perennial octogenarian composer, Dr. Willam Woodard, and sung beautifully by soprano Erin Campbell. Over several years Woodard has made a serious study of the famous Gothic novel of the same name by Daphne du Maurier, and his opera sets the lurid story into musical form.

“Far From Your Love,” an interesting lament by a tormented lover, was next performed by its composer, baritone Elijah Nelson, who with a completely straight face pleaded for anyone to “come and save me from my hell.”

This preceded a poetic song of death written

by Kali Stewart titled “Do Not Stand” which was sung by the tall and lovely Isabel Gomez, who appeared in a plain black dress with pearls

and high heels that rendered easy visual relief to a sad aural mood.

Sam Howard’s light and filmy piece titled “The Paper Airplane” came next and was played expertly by flautist Wladimir Herrera.

It included several sections of harmonious thirds that brought welcome relief to some of the dissonance that seemed to prevail in a few of the earlier numbers.

“Eclipse,” a guitar solo written by Cole Davis and performed by Steven Friedman, seemed to orbit by quite pleasantly and made one possibly imagine sipping a cool glass of white wine on a cliff-top deck high above the Mediterranean during at sunset. “Double Helix” was then played by its composer, Jerome Griffin Jr., on viola along with Antonio Gonzales on cello. This was a well-crafted and balanced duet that featured alternating pizzicato sections and intriguing double stops on both instruments.

“The Argument” by David Espinosa was next rendered by the trio of Michael Palomo,

violin; Ross Owen, cello; and Peter Choe, electric guitar. Rather than dissension, as the title implied, it seemed in some ways more like an interesting musical discussion although the electric guitar did at times seem to be perhaps the disagreeable antagonist in the room.

The final selection was a surprising concession to convention. A quintet of sax, drums, guitar, keyboard, and bass gave forth with a lively performance of “The Southern Cowboy” by Victor Hernandez. This was a hearty ditty that sounded like a merger of mariachi and country-western styles although professor Kuspa introduced it as being “Norteñia” (or music of northern Mexico). Regardless, it was a toe-tapper that left everyone in a happy mood.

For their next public recital later this spring, composition class students will be asked to introduce their works with a few remarks telling how they chose and then developed and refined their ideas into final form.

Sports

T-Ducks look to bounce back in second half Sports Editor

At press time Friday, Richland’s baseball team was leading a game against Cedar Valley College in Lancaster, 3-1. The game was stopped in the seventh inning due to rain.

That game was postponed and scheduled to resume on Sunday.

The Thunderducks had two previous games against Howard Payne JV, where they demonstrated how much they had improved.

They won both games by a wide margin, 11-1 and 10-0.

Although the beginning of the season didn’t turn out as the team would like, they are ready to take control in the second half.

“We are young and we struggle a little bit.

We play about .500, which means we win one and lose one. But we are getting better, so I am looking forward for the second half of the conference,” head coach Guy Simmons said.

Richland also has a new assistant baseball coach, Stefan Garret. He has extensive experience. Garret worked with the Brookhaven baseball team for four years before coming to Richland last fall.

Garret explained that, although they have a lot of freshman and, of course, it is a difficult transition between high school and college, the team is working hard to improve.

“We have a really young team,” he said.

The Thunderducks are focused on getting better because only the two top teams will be invited to the national tournament this year instead of four, as was the case until last year.

“We are worried a little bit, but the only thing that you can do is take one game at a time,” first baseman Trey Eschberger said.

Eschberger is playing for the Thunderducks for the second time. He trusts that the team will play well during the second half because despite the slow beginning he said this year the T-Ducks are playing like a real team. He added that all they have to do is put the pieces together.

Ricky Garcia, a freshman third baseman from Miami, is playing his first season for the T-Ducks. He said the team has had difficulties on the field, but good chemistry that the team has will be reflected in upcoming games.

“As a team, we just need to start bonding more and play together on the field,” he said.

Garcia has extensive baseball experience but knows the college level is more challenging.

“It is way more competitive than in high school,” he said.

The team practices every day except game days. They are working hard to improve enough to be one of the teams invited to the national tournament.

“Of course you are frustrated because everyone wants to come out on top,” catcher Logan Daniels said.

“There is no reason we can’t dig ourselves

Upcoming events Tuesday, April 1: 12:30 to 1:30 p.m.

The Richland Wind Symphony and Chamber Ensembles will perform.

Thursday, April 3: 11 a.m.

“So You Think You Can Dance” contest Cafeteria Pit - El Paso Hall The Richland Style Dance competition is on and students are getting revved up to win. Try out with any style of dance, but no more than one minute. Perform solo or in a group. Prizes are: First place, $100; second place, $75 and third place, $50.

Sign up in the Office of Student Life in El Paso Hall, Room E-040 before the event.

Tuesday, April 8: 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Free STD Testing East Circle Drive (outside library) The Dallas County Health and Human Services Sexually Transmitted Disease Mobile Medical Unit will be on campus providing testing for HIV, chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea. For questions contact them at 214-500-2968 or the clinic at 214-819-1819. For more information call the Richland Health Center at 972-238-6135 or stop by Thunderduck Hall, Room T-110.

Friday and Saturday, April 11-12: 7:30 to 8:30 p.m.

Spring Dance Concert, “Shazam” Fannin Performance Hall, Room F-108 The public is welcome to attend. No reservations are necessary.

Monday - Wednesday, April 14-16: 6 to 8 p.m.

Richland Cheerleader Tryouts Guadalupe Hall, Room G-101 Those trying out will be required to perform a cheer and chant that will be taught on site. A combination of three jumps (toe touch, side and front hurdler) and any tumbling that you have (not required). A clinic will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. in the gym, Room G-101 Monday and Tuesday, April 14-15 (two chants, 1 cheer and three consecutive jumps, tumbling not required).

Tuesday, April 15: 5 p.m.

Student Government Association Elections These positions are up for election: president, vice president, secretary, parliamentarian, historian and ambassador. The deadline for applications is today at 5 p.m.

Pick one up in the Office of Student Life in El Paso Hall, Room E-040. The elections will be held April 23-24.

Staff photo Blanca Reyes

Thunderduck Riley Wentz pitches against Howard Payne JV at Richland on March 25.

out of it,” he said commenting on the team’s lackluster season so far.

The Thunderducks were scheduled to play two games on Saturday, March 29 against Cedar Valley College at its Lancaster campus.

The T-Ducks are also scheduled to play at

home against Texas Wesleyan JV at 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. April 2.

For more information about the schedule and result of the baseball or other teams visit www.richlandcollege.edu or stop by Guadalupe Hall, G-114.

Student media wants you!

No prior experience required, everyone is welcome!

Sports reporters Graphic artists Web designers Photographers

News reporters Writers Radio hosts TV news anchors

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter Official Chronicle Outlets @chronicledcccd Go to Chronicle & KDUX Web Radio at richlandchronicle.com TV live broad cast at ustream. tv/channel/chronicletv

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

blanca reyes

3

Entertainment

at this!

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

BEn Siebel

4

Staff Writer

Anything is possible in the comic book universes of Marvel and DC. But to the average Joe who doesn’t follow “The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” on a monthly basis or knows every hero and villain’s bio better than the “heroes” of America’s history, the whole idea of pseudo-science fiction can be hard to take in.

For those who are just tuning in, in a span of less than six years, Marvel has woven an intricate web of comic book cinema that is unlike anything we have seen before.

Starting with “Iron Man” in 2008, Marvel Studios rolled the dice when they cast the then-troubled Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, the billionaire playboy philanthropist who everyone has grown to love.

Since then he has emerged as one of the most expensive actors in Hollywood.

Marvel would hope you forgot “The Incredible Hulk,” which featured Edward Nor-

ton as gamma radiobiologist Bruce Banner on end when Tony Stark mentions to Col. Ross that he is “putting a team together.”

It’s scenes like that that keep all the hopelessly devoted Marvelites glued to their seats after any Marvel Studios production.

They know that in all likelihood, they will see a hint as far as where Marvel is going in its next movie, another glorious stand in the magnificent web that is the Marvel cinematic universe.

After introducing the third member of the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Black Widow in “Iron Man 2,” who was convincingly played by the drop dead gorgeous Scarlett Johansson, Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. told Tony of his trip to New Mexico where Mjölnir, the legendary Hammer of the Norse God of Thunder, Thor.

Marvel cast Chris Hemsworth, Captain Kirk’s sacrificial father from the J.J. Abrams “Star Trek” reboot as the Norse God of Thunder and after his solo flick, it was clearly another home run for Marvel casting.

The plot was probably one of the hardest to

relate to for the non-fanboys in the audience, so it is widely considered the weakest link in the MCU web.

All the fanboys remembered was the cameo of Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye and Natalie Portman.

Then along came the crown jewel; the movie that completed the Avengers lineup and confirmed what every Marvelite already knew when the official was released. “Captain America: The First Avenger” was considered the make-or-break movie for the Marvel Universe.

That’s because Cap is the leader of Earth’s mightiest heroes, the glue that kept everyone in a spot where they can help the most, or, in Hulk’s case, do the most damage.

This role of the battlefield general is the most vital because without the right leader, even the mightiest heroes can get lost in the moment.

Chris Evans, as Johnny Storm or as the true believers knew him originally as the Human Torch in the Fox productions of the “Fantastic Four” films, was cast as the Star Spangled

Staff Illustration Melanie Brandow

Soldier. Many questioned if the actor who had been typecast as a ladies’ man and a jokester had the acting ability to take on the deathly serious in time of battle role of Captain America.

Long story short (and to avoid spelling anything), Evans turned out to be the grand slam for the Marvel casting department and a decision that was arguably more risky than Downey.

The “Captain America” movie is considered by both fanboy and comic book newbie alike to be by far the best stand-alone hero movie Marvel or anyone produced. It made the bridge that created a smooth transition to the first super hero movie that had standalone prequels (and one sequel) for four of the six members of the lineup.

Now that you’re all caught up, next week I’ll cover all the rumors regarding upcoming Marvel productions that include but are not at all limited to: “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “Guardians of the Galaxy,” “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” and “X-Men: Days of Future Past.”

Movies

Fate of five factions Entertainment Editor

That all-elusive trilogy is at the forefront once again.

I, of course, am referring to “Divergent,” a young adult dystopian saga centered on the ideas of separation, hardship, social classes and desire for change.

In the story, an individual is chosen for one of five different factions.

They comprise Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Erudite (the intelligent), Amity (the peaceful) and Candor (the honest).

Veronica Roth is the author of “Divergent,” wherein the Windy City is no longer home to the Chicago Cubs, rather another one of the multitudes of cities that have suffered a dire fate from a great war.

The heroine in “Divergent” is Shailene Woodley’s Beatrice Prior, a young girl whose parents are Natalie (Ashley Judd, “A Time to Kill” and “Kiss the Girls”) and Andrew (Tony Goldwyn, “Ghost”).

When Natalie asks her nervous daughter about choosing a faction for her final life decision, she simply states, “I’m terrified.”

Even though she’s only been in a handful of movies, Woodley has seen nothing but well-written parts. In Alexander Payne’s “The Descendants,” she was an emotional and distraught older daughter of an oblivious George Clooney, whose wife was having an affair. Just last year, she shared amazing on-screen chemistry with Miles Tanner from 2011’s “Footloose” update in the comedydrama “The Spectacular Now,” which has the pair sharing a finely nuanced romatic tale of true love.

In “Divergent,” Beatrice changes her name

to Tris, a way of signaling her independence from her past life.

She shares a nice rapport with Theo James, as a character named Four, who emulates the best parts of James Franco and a younger Val Kilmer sporting a strong jaw line.

Some plot devices give strength to the story, while others are added in as mere filler for a very bland meat pie.

Conflicts find their way of gliding to the surface, but what occurs is nothing of any consequence.

The trouble is the story wants to be profound while at the same time commenting on today’s society. Nothing is really written in cement, rather just hinted at in passing.

It’s very easy to compare this to Suzanne Collins’ “The Hunger Games” trilogy since the story follows a distraught teenager who has to overcome a plethora of ideas and situations thrust upon the lead individual.

Various high profile actors and actresses fill out the supporting cast. This includes Miles Tanner, who was Woodley’s significant other in “The Spectacular Now.” In “Divergent” he plays Peter, a member of the Dauntless faction, who was originally born into the Candor tribe.

Maggie Q of TV’s “Nikita” as well as “Mission: Impossible III” has a significant role as Tori, a member of the Dauntless faction who first discovers Tris is a divergent through and through.

Kate Winslet is a higher up named Jeanine who warns Tris about divergents and their untimely demise.

As much as I wanted to like this movie and relish the dynamics of what happened, I have to say the whole presentation did not completely miss the mark, but glided into, position of sheer mediocrity.

Grade: C+

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

RICKY MILLER

5

CAmpus

Student plans summer trip as career goal Joyce Liu Staff Writer

Finals are nearing which means that the spring semester is about to end. Summer is a great time to check things off your bucket list, whether it is traveling or getting an internship/job. So what are your plans for the two-month period?

One particular student, Abigail Stroud, is on her way to scratching off one item on her bucket list.

In hopes of preparing for her career goal, being an English teacher in Japan, Stroud applied to Texas Global Education and Cultural Exchange, which is one of the many exchange programs that offers a chance for students to experience a genuine local experience.

The program lasts for one month so the exchange student can achieve the goals of the program: cultural diversity, understanding, friendships and growth.

Stroud has three options for how to select her host family, one being that the program chooses a host for the student based on similarities between her and the family.

The second choice is a request to stay with a previous student that she has hosted before. The third is with a family that she knows personally.

Stroud chose to stay with her friend in Japan since the Internet is a great place to meet other people from all around the world.

“I met Riko online and we’ve become close friends, so I am going to stay with her,” Stroud said.

Traveling outside of the country is not a cheap trip; the program cost $4,000 total and

covers the round trip from Dallas to Japan, including transportation and meals within the country, insurance, the fees for the Japanese camp that will be held, and orientation. Of course there are ways to help pay for this very expensive fee!

Stroud is currently juggling two jobs, selling her artwork, and is holding a fundraiser called GMJ where donations are accepted through GoGetFunding.com. In exchange she will bring the donator a souvenir or something similar. To keep donators or anyone updated on her progress for funding, Stroud records her everyday life and uploads them onto YouTube.

While in Japan, Stroud will not only be getting an educational experience but she will also get to experience the culture. She plans on staying in Osaka and visiting areas in Tokyo such as the Fashion district, Harujuku and going to an Onsen (Hot Spring in Japanese).

With so many country choices that this program has to offer, Stroud chose Japan.

“I enjoy the culture, so Japan is my best bet,” she said, showing that her interest is not only in her future, but also in exploring an entirely different culture other than America.

When the process for applying is finally complete, Stroud is expected to depart from Dallas on July 12 to begin her one-month adventure.

Although Richland College is a very diverse school with many students from different countries, it is a sensational experience to get out of your comfort zone and travel to another foreign country. It doesn’t have to be an exchange program to get you there.

Going overseas is not cheap, but there are plenty of fundraising ideas could help finance a trip. Summer is not only a break but a chance to do something a little bit different.

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

Editor-in-Chief Layout Editor Sports Editor Entertainment Editor Radio News Director Copy Editor

Kisten S. Chetty Lora Advincula Blanca Reyes Ricky Miller Carla Davis Joyce Jackson

ON THE COVER Logan Daniel hits the ball on the game March 25.

COVER AND FONTS Staff photo by Blanca Reyes Cover Certain fonts are provided by the following: http://www.nymfont.com - http://www.bvfonts.com

STUDENT MEDIA STAFF Melanie Brandow Jonathan Lee Doris Brogan Sayako Metoki Veronica Jacob Joyce Liu

Raymond Thomas Pronk Pete Shannon Gabriel Flores Majid Abdel-Raziq Ben Siebel

STUDENT MEDIA ADVISERS Terry Blend Erica Edwards Jack Fletcher David Goodloe

Tim Jones Steve Noviello Larry Ratliff Marshall Siegel

Spring 2014 ISSUES January 14 January 21 January 28 February 4 February 11 February 18 February 25 Photo courtesy Abigail Stroud

Abigail Stroud plans to teach English in Japan.

Literary Arts Festival held at Richland

6

STUDENT MEDIA LEADERS

Richland English professor Jay Ann Cox speaks at this year’s Literary Arts Festival, held during the last week of March at the library. Students interested in participating shared their original works. This year’s festival featured several guests, including Bonnie Friedman, Stephen Templin, Fred Turner, Jason Shelton and David Haynes. They shared their poetry and prose with students and faculty gathered for the three-day event that has become a Richland campus tradition.

March 4 March 25 April 8 April 22 April 29 May 6 May 13

AWARDS ACP Pacemaker Winner, 2000, 2001, 2007 ACP Pacemaker Finalist, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2006, 2007 ACP Online Pacemaker Finalist, 2007, 2008 1st Place - TIPA Sweepstakes, 2005 3rd Place - TIPA Online, 2005 & 2006 Over 150 Texas college journalism awards since 2000

CONTACT INFORMATION El Paso Hall, Room E-020, 12800 Abrams Rd. Dallas, 75243 Newsroom: 972-238-6079 E-mail: chronicle@dcccd.edu Advertising: 972-238-6068 E-mail: advertise@dcccd.edu Fax: 972-238-6037

MEETINGS & POLICIES Staff meetings: Monday and Wednesday 3 p.m. in E-020

------Letter Policy Letters to the editor may be edited for space. They will be edited for spelling, grammar and malicious or libelous statements.

Letters must be the work of the writer and must be signed. For identification and verification purposes, letters also must include the writer’s classification (grade level), full name, address and telephone number, although address and telephone number will not be published.

Editorial Policy The Chronicle is the official student-produced newspaper of Richland College. Editorials, cartoons, columns and letters are the opinions of individual students and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other individual student writers, editors, advisers or the college administration. © Richland Chronicle 2013

—Blanca Reyes Staff photo Blanca Reyes

OK readers, this is a joke page with fake news in celebration of April Fools’ Day. Seriously, it’s not real. Thanks.

Know your campus!

It has come to our attention that many students and even some faculty members have very little knowledge about Richland College.

Here is a cheat sheet of interesting facts next time there is an awkward silence and you want to impress your friends: • The Sabine Hall building is not actually a new building. It is actually a replica of an older building that was burned to the ground. The locals believed witches frequently used it for black magic rituals. The scientists who now inhabit the building agree that it was all pretty silly but it did give them a place to practice their “science.”

• Our mascot T. Mobius Duck is actually a throwback to a race of wild magnificent

beasts called lightning bills. These amazing creatures provided the first students of Richland with both electricity and a food source.

Extra-crispy.

• It’s the worst-kept secret that the labyrinth on campus leads to an alternate world full of untold horrors. This is not true. Blame a faulty translation of the word labyrinth. In truth if you just take the first two letters of labyrinth and add the letters k and e, you get lake. Yes Lake Thunder duck was built to block the doorway to Narnia.

• Probably the best-kept secret of Richland College is the media department. They have a college radio station, television studio and even a newspaper. (OK; THIS is actually true.)

T U E S D A Y

W E D N E S D A Y

T H U R S D A Y

F R I D A Y

Staff Illustration Terry Blend, Melanie Brandow, Lora Advincula and Jonathan Lee

Third-generation dictator Kim Jong Un demonstrated he is the right type of fearless leader a few days ago. This shining example to leaders around the world declared that all North Korean males must imitate his hairstyle.

The reaction to this statement has been overwhelmingly negative and I praise Kim for his courage throughout this backlash. Spurred on by the courage shown by my hero, this journalist will defend the life-changing, rather, lifeaffirming step in the right direction.

Let’s get this out of the way at the start.

Choice is overrated. Do you know what choice really gives you? It gives you the chance of choosing the wrong thing, making a mistake and being incorrect. My fellow students, consider the multiple choice test. There is only one right answer and five incorrect answers.

That’s a 500 percent chance you will choose the wrong answer and a 42 percent chance you will be correct. I think that’s how percentages work. I’m not sure. I failed my math class this semester. It was a multiple choice exam. I last my case. Kim Jong Un is taking away the chance to fail for his people; he guarantees a 100 percent chance at success, at haircuts, for males. Only.

I am an international student and have been in “the land of the free to have way too many choices” for about two years now, so I’m obviously qualified to talk about every single aspect of being an American. Here’s the problem that Kim has just solved for his entire country or continent (whichever one is bigger); confidence and haircuts. A man’s confidence is so tied up in his hair it is unbelievable. If a man wakes up in the morning and his hair does not look exactly how he thinks it should, he is done,

the day is effectively over, so closely does it affect our confidence. One cutting remark, one long stare can shatter the frail image of confidence we men try to project through our hair. Heaven forbid it should rain and ruin our hair. Kim has found the haircut, not a haircut; the haircut that works for all males.

It is the haircut that will strengthen men’s confidence in his continent. By making all males have the same haircut, he eliminates all the competitiveness between males. Males will no longer have to stare at other men’s hairstyles and feel inferior or insecure about the choice they have made. It will boost productivity by 300 percent in North Korea’s workplaces (Man, those percentages are tricky but look so impressive.) You would not believe how much of a man’s working day is lost in insecure bathroom mirror checks. Do you want to know why men don’t go to the bathrooms in groups? They are too ashamed to let other men see them constantly checking and adjusting their hair. I blame Obama.

It would be worthwhile to sacrifice individual looks for peace among all men. However, it’s not really a sacrifice because the hairstyle looks so good. I have heard it compared numerous times to the Greek god Adonis and his long flowing locks. After those locks were hacked and dyed black, that is.

I thank Kim Jong Un for the confidence (that naturally comes from his haircut) to address this silent pandemic that plagues each and every man. I can only hope other world leaders will follow his lead and we can achieve peace on earth. Well, for males anyway.

— Kisten S. Chetty

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

Forecast: Raining cats and dogs – and zombies!

7

Climb to new heights.

Two Guinness World Records obliterated.

Richlandchronicle.com April 1, 2014

There are no limits to what you can achieve.

8

Over 40,000 feet in six hours.

Record-breaking achievement is the new standard for the Climbing Society at A&M-Commerce. As a student organization, the group puts effective collaboration and healthy competition into practice on the climbing wall at the university. But through dedication and preparation, these students took rock climbing and bouldering from the level of campus club distinction to world recognition.

As the proud holders of two Guinness World Records, our Climbing Society has proven that you can take your hobby from extracurricular to extraordinary at A&M-Commerce.

TAMUC

TAMUC

TAMUC

LionsMedia

tamuc.edu