The (un)limited
BRAIN
of Elaine & Charmaine
Marijke de Jong
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine
DEAR READER This is a story about two twin sisters, Elaine and Charmaine. It is a fictional story and is not based on anyone in particular that I know. The names are randomly selected, although not entirely random because the names had to rhyme with “brain''. This story is not meant to offend anyone. It is also not intended to imply that certain types of people are superior to others. This story is intended to raise awareness within yourself. And, occasionally, to put a smile on your face. Enjoy reading!
Marijke de Jong
TRANSLATION Patty Martin
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©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 2 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine THE STORY OF ELAINE & CHARMAINE Since childhood, Elaine and Charmaine have been fascinated by horses. For 21 years they had been sisters and best friends. They were identical in nearly every way. They had the same grades in school and wore the same clothes. They were both good riders and had great fun with horses. At the age of 21 they were still similar in appearance and outlook, but then something changed .... .... And now, in their thirties, they differ greatly. Elaine sleeps well every night, while Charmaine worries a lot and for her sleep is difficult. Elaine feels good physically, but Charmaine is often very tired. Elaine’s weight is still the same as it was when she was 21. Charmaine has gained 20 pounds in the past 10 years. Elaine is happy, Charmaine is unhappy. And they don’t see each other anymore .... How could this happen? FROM A MATERIAL POINT OF VIEW THEY LOOK ALIKE Elaine and Charmaine both have their own house. They earn the same amount of money. And they have the same amount of free time. Elaine and Charmaine both have a not too expensive horse that is healthy and fit. Their horses live at a venue near their homes. From a material point of view, they still look alike. But in other ways they differ enormously ....
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 3 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine INTERACTION WITH OTHER PEOPLE Elaine has positive interactions with everyone at the venue, while Charmaine is a part of the gossip scene. Elaine likes to meet new riders, while Charmaine waits to see which way the cat jumps. Elaine meets successful riders regularly, while Charmaine thinks successful riders have too much ego. When Elaine watches other riders, she sees what is going well. Charmaine always notices what is going wrong. Elaine is interested in other riders, while Charmaine doesn’t care what others are doing. Elaine has no problems with other riders, Charmaine often clashes with others. Elaine counts to 10 when she gets angry, while Charmaine immediately says what she is thinking. Elaine dares to say “I’m sorry”. Other people have to say “I’m sorry” to Charmaine. Elaine does her best to avoid negative people, while Charmaine thinks positive people are tiresome. When Elaine has nothing nice to say, she says nothing. Charmaine likes to gossip. Elaine likes to give compliments, Charmaine thinks she doesn’t get enough compliments. Elaine ‘likes’ a lot on Facebook. Charmaine thinks it’s a pity there is no ‘dislike’ button. Elaine is a good listener, while Charmaine prefers to talk. Elaine gives without expecting anything in return. Charmaine only takes from others. Elaine doesn’t care about what others think of her, while Charmaine always wants approval. Elaine is not afraid of criticism, she will survive it. Charmaine is afraid of failure and can’t handle any kind of criticism. Elaine avoids people who consume her energy, while Charmaine is an energy consumer Elaine realizes the negative effect of people who constantly complain. Charmaine is a constant complainer. Elaine would like to restore the relationship she once had with her sister. Charmaine ''has had it” with Elaine. Elaine is the average of the 5 people around her, and so is Charmaine....
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 4 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR HORSE Elaine likes her horse just the way he is, while Charmaine thinks her horse is not perfect but should be. Elaine’s horse’s nickname is ‘’Mister Universe’’. Charmaine calls her horse ‘Ugly Duckling’. Elaine is very happy with her horse, while Charmaine is often annoyed by her horse. Elaine’s horse neighs when she arrives, while Charmaine’s horse is difficult to catch. Even though he’s not the best horse, Elaine thinks her horse is the best. Charmaine thinks her horse isn’t good enough. Elaine is convinced her horse will do piaffe one day. Charmaine is convinced her horse will never be able to do it. Elaine doesn’t use her horse’s shortcomings as an excuse. Charmaine has a lot of excuses. Elaine uses the dressage for her horse. Charmaine uses her horse for the dressage. Elaine does well in competions. Charmaine competes with her horse. If something doesn’t work, Elaine changes her approach. Charmaine blames the horse. If her horse refuses to do something, Elaine tries to understand why and she searches for the cause. Charmaine doesn’t bother to try to understand and thinks her horse is naughty and disobedient. Elaine and her horse work together, while Charmaine gives orders and her horse has to obey. Elaine is gaining experience in her horsemanship, while Charmaine just thinks her horse is making a lot of mistakes. Elaine has many plans with her horse, while Charmaine has a lot of problems with her horse. Elaine feels confident with her horse, Charmains feels uncomfortable. Elaine’s horse is her mirror and Charmaine’s horse is a mirror too… DEVELOPMENT Elaine reads all the books she can find about horses and horse trainers. Charmaine believes she already knows everything worth knowing and only reads the latest gossip-magazine. Elaine knows a lot, but is eager to learn. Charmaine is omniscient. When Elaine visits a course, she always learns something. When Charmaine visits a course, she looks for mistakes in others. Elaine listens carefully to the instructor, while Charmaine is always arguing with the instructor.
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 5 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine The lessons costs 65 euros each and Elaine thinks this is a valuable investment. Charmaine thinks that it isn’t worth the moneyl If there is no progress, Elaine works harder on herself, while Charmaine blames the instructor. Elaine sets specific goals for her and her horse, while Charmaine is aimless. Elaine likes to talk about new developments, while Charmaine would rather talk about other riders. Elaine wants better riders around her to lift herself up. Charmaine wants less skilled riders around her so that she feels better than the rest. Elaine thinks her talents and abilities are limitless and that she can achieve whatever she wants. Charmaine sees only restrictions and thinks she is too old and too heavy and her horse is too lazy. Elaine trains in any weather. For Charmaine, the weather is often an excuse not to train. Elaine is always trying to push her limits and no obstacles stand in her way. Charmaine doesn’t even get started, saying ''I am who I am”. Elaine often opts for the hardest and most interesting path, while Charmaine looks for the easy way. Elaine tries to find her own way through difficulties, while Charmaine asks her instructor for all the solutions. Elaine sees mistakes as learning opportunities, while Charmaine see mistakes as failures. Elaine listens to personal growth programs in her car, while Charmaine is irritated by the traffic. Elaine is growing every day as a rider, but Charmaine is not growing anymore ... WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? Elaine is not an extreme success and Charmaine is not an extreme failure. Elaine makes the most out of situations, while Charmaine tries to make the best of it. What does Elaine do that is different? Why is Charmaine unhappy? Is Elaine just lucky? Is Charmaine just unlucky?....
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 6 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine THE DIFFERENCE IS: THEIR MINDS! The actual differences between Elaine and Charmaine are, in fact, not so big. They both have a job, a house, the same income, a similar horse and similar opportunities for lessons. The difference is in how they look at things: •
Elaine says ''yes'', Charmaine says'' yes, but…”
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Elaine focuses on what is going well, while Charmaine focuses on everything that is going wrong.
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Elaine sees opportunities everywhere, while Charmaine sees problems everywhere.
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Elaine always see chances, while Charmaine sees threats.
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Elaine thinks that every disadvantage has an advantage, while Charmaine sees in every advantage a disadvantage.
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Elaine likes to talk about what she wants, while Charmaine is always complaining about what she doesn’t want.
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Elaine is responsible for herself, while Charmaine blames others.
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Elaine is a victor, while Charmaine often feels like a victim.
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For Elaine, the glass is always “half full''. For Charmaine it’s always “half empty''.
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Elaine has thoughts about herself that are supportive to her. Charmaine’s thoughts contain many barriers and limiting beliefs.
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Elaine is always becoming a better version of herself, while Charmaine is going more backward than forward.
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Elaine does things a little better structurally, while Charmaine does things structurally less well.
The difference between the two of them is really their mental attitude. Elaine feels internally responsible for her development and growth, and realizes that she can control her own life and her destiny by having a positive attitude. People like Charmaine blame external factors for their troubles, but do not realize that they are themselves largely responsible (with exceptions of course).
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 7 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine
WHAT DO YOU WANT? Now it’s your turn. So ask yourself: •
What is your passion and what are your goals, both for yourself and for your horse?
•
What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
•
What will your life look like in 1,3,5 and 10 years?
After you answer these questions, take your destiny in your own hands! Believe 100% that you can reach your goal. Plan your route and define a strategy to reach your goal! Surround yourself with people you can learn from and who inspire you to get closer and closer to your goals. Look for “examples''''. Model good riders and emulate them in how you think, act, and live. Focus on your goal and go there with enthusiasm, joy and passion! KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON When something bad happens, you can let it define you, destroy you, or strengthen you. We can’t change what life is, we only can change how we interpret and react to it. In life, most of us try to control the events around us. But the only thing you have absolute control over is yourself and your emotional response to whatever happens in life. • • •
It’s not the situation… it’s your reaction to the situation. It's not what happens to you, but your response to what happens to you that can hurt you. It’s not your circumstances that shape you, it’s how you react to your circumstances.
Circumstances are often created in your mind by your thoughts. It's all a matter of perspective. You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Controlling what things mean to you is the ultimate power you possess. Understanding this can give you a life of fulfillment. Reframe everything into the positive. Ask yourself: How can I give positive meaning to this and how can I gain strength? The key question is always: What else could this mean?
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 8 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine TIPS FOR THE RIGHT ATTITUDE Adopt a healthy attitude towards your problems. •
Reframe problems as “challenges.”
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Adopt the belief that we expand and grow the most by seeking answers to our problems.
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Replace the word “problem” with the word “opportunity” in all your thoughts.
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Impossibility is an opinion, not a fact.
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An obstacle is often an unrecognized opportunity.
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Challenges are gifts. They are opportunities to learn.
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Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.
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Focus on the possibilities for success, not on the potential for failure.
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Focus on your blessings, not your misfortunes.
Life has no limitations except the ones you make for yourself. To achieve anything you want in life you must first start by getting out of your own way. "Whether You Think You Can or Can't, You're Right"--Henry Ford TIPS FOR A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HORSE •
Believe in yourself and in your horse
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Give your horse confidence
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Help him believe that he can do anything
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Have appreciation for the things he does well
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Find enjoyment in the work you do with your horse
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Motivate and reward your horse
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Be respectful of your horse
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Always speak positively about your horse
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 9 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine THINKS AS ELAINE “The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha Look around and see what problems you've already overcome! Focus on all the successes you've probably already experienced and gain strength from that! Remember the pearls from the past and use them to reframe the negative impulses in your life. And think like Elaine! Good luck!
Marijke de Jong
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©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 10 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine
Download the FREE ebook ‘An introduction to straightness training’ And click on this link: http://straightnesstraining.com/free-ebook/
©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
Pag. 11 of 12
The (un)limited brain of Elaine & Charmaine
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©2013 Marijke de Jong
www.StraightnessTraining.com
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