Reflections from an Old Hand

Philip Giambaresi

Born in 1950 to deaf parents, Philip Giambaresi was greatly influenced by his mother's deaf family and experiences being the family interpreter. As a result, he became a certified interpreter in addition to earning a bachelor's degree in psychology. At the age of 34, he went back to school to earn a master’s degree in social work, specializing in mental health among deaf people. After more than 30 years in New York City, he retired and relocated to California.

Warmest springtime wishes to you from Southern California! As a CODA, I must congratulate the actors and workers who created the full-length feature film, CODA. What excitement it is to see the experiences of a CODA (and deaf family) to be shared on screen.

We CODA can vary in our individual experiences and yet identify with many shared experiences of having deaf relatives. I remember having met a deaf man who said he had deaf parents. I said, “You are a CODA!” He said, “No, I am deaf and not hearing.” I discussed how a CODA could be hearing or deaf as long as they have deaf parent(s).This was quite a while ago and by now, I’m sure that awareness doesn’t discriminate between a deaf person or a hearing person born to of deaf parents any more.

I played with many young CODAs as a kid, and was fascinated and sometimes shocked by their diverse perspectives on having deaf parents. Not all CODA kids (hearing) showed much interest in using sign language compared. One child I had receptive signing skills, not expressive — and others were the opposite. Those who could do both receptive and expressive were often involved with their parents’ lives and friends.

The variations are astounding. Let’s say the opportunity was there for a child to engage. It’s always surprised me how parents who speak a foreign language choose not to teach their own children how to use that language. Being bilingual (or even multilingual) has been proven to provide advantages in one’s future direction. Again, the opportunity for bilingualism and/or multilingualism is available!

Aside from these musings, I must say that in my many years of working with deaf people as an interpreter or later as a licensed clinical social work therapist, I did what most of us in the field do: wore muted colors that contrasted with my skin color to create a clear view of my hands. When I retired, I went hog wild in changing my attire to brighter colors and patterns and now favor using Hawaiian shirts for comfort and feeling somehow less invisible. I haven't trashed my neutral shirts, though; I still wear them for interpreting or signing work.

Let's move over to the topic of name signs. Growing up, my name sign was simply fingerspelling my name, "P-H-I-L." The same was true for my brother, Gary. It was easy for our deaf parents to quickly fingerspell our names. It wasn’t until I went to school as an academic interpreter and also a student (of psychology) that I was dubbed with a name sign of a P up and down on the forehead, similar to the sign for PHILOSOPHY. My deaf friends gave that sign to me, which I considered an honor.

Another thing that comes to mind is the use of the telephone. In the 1950s, many of my parents' deaf friends relied on us “hearing kids” to make phone calls. We’d use the neighbor’s phone to make our calls locally, and I don’t remember my family getting a phone of our own until I was about 15 years old. Gary and I would answer the phone and talk to others who called on behalf of their deaf folks. To this day, my (hearing) wife understands my need to answer every phone call we get. It’s hard for me to just let this habit go, never mind how I use gestures in my spoken words.

I’m so glad that my own parents lived long enough to see the advent of TTYs and videophones. Today, how amazing is technology with smartphones and video technology?

My brother and I are now “elderly” (ahem!) and like to look back at how we were different from other kids. He and I are quite sensitive to the misunderstandings by the "Hearing World" toward the “Deaf World.” Our experiences have made us better communicators with people in general, and we have our parents to thank for this.

As I’ve said before, you don’t need to have deaf parents to be effective in communication, but it sure can help. This is especially true for ethics not only professionally, but personally, too. Many of our moral and ethical standards have been be shaped by our parentage. For me, I learned from my parents to do unto others...which was the predominant influence at home that shaped my life.

Comments or questions? Please contact me at pgiambaresi@aol.com.