RIPENING ZINE
ISSUE #1 COMING OF AGE
RIPENING ZINE. VOLUME ONE SPRING 2016 THEME: COMING OF AGE CURATED BY: SEBASTIAN MATTHEW & CLIO AMIS
FEATURING: CHLOE HENDERSON MEENI LEVI JAMIE APPELL QUIN SEVERO MONTANA SVOBODA BRONSON SMILLIE LIANI ASTACIO LINDA KUO JULIA WITHERS JANE MECHNER ALEX WESTFALL ALISON DEBRITZ CHRIS MOODY ALEXIS POLITZ JONAS BARDIN
AFTER THE FIRST TIME BY CHLOE HENDERSON.
what if i love you what if you loved me what if we were the last two people on earth what if eating dubious amounts of ice cream really does make me feel better what if lying here just you me and the music is as good as it’s ever going to get what if waiting for you is like waiting for the sun to rise and set every day, i know that it’s there but i can never obtain it what if covers of songs by the beatles will never be better than the original what if it only takes 60 seconds to fall in love with someone and every minute i was with you i fell in love all over again what if i am your biggest regret what if you are mine what if i’m not the same person i was two years ago but cannot seem to accept the fact that neither are you what if writing this poem is pointless because it is impossible to put into words what losing the only thing you cared about feels like what if i love you so immensely that it physically hurts, comforts me because i am finally feeling something besides sadness
what if i don’t want to feel anything besides my sadness because i don’t want to be happy, or excited or anything without you what if all i needed you to do was hold me what if all you needed me to do was hold you too what if neither of us were brave enough to say it what if we weren’t brave enough to say many things, like when you stopped loving me what if you never stopped loving me, for i haven’t stopped loving you what if i don’t want to stop loving you because there has never been a time that i have not loved you and i am afraid to know what it’s like what if now every time i am in the hospital i sit by the phone waiting for you to call even though i know u wont what if i am the damsel in distress but you are not the prince who will save me what if people only ever have one love of their life and you are mine but i am not yours what if every time the words “i love you” left my lips, you said it back and truly meant it what if i listened when people told me to move on because there are other fish in the sea what if one day i will fall in love with someone else, what if i’m happier, or what if i am not or what if i will never be; and what if i don’t want to
be. What if losing you wasn’t okay. What if i’m sorry. I’m sorry that my sadness was a weight that you had to carry. I’m sorry that you were unhappy, i am sorry that i messed everything up, mostly i am sorry that my love for you was a burden, but thank you for being the one thing i loved and hated most. what if i never told you how i felt and you still didn’t love me JAMIE APPELL some can't be put to words crashcrash; i have left my place ethereal ephemeral slip through my fingers into me come to me breathe me in so i can sit on your tongue [sigh] put your feet down take me down there is lipstick on your teeth write me on you in marker and don't wash me for a week bite down and draw blood, i suppose, i can tuck you behind my ears and forget you're there JULIA WITHERS
BY LINDA KUO “As someone who will graduate in a few weeks and start being an adult, I aim to express the urgent adolescence of this time, the searching for identity, the isolation and restlessness. Stemming from a fascination with physiology and anatomy, I explore what it means to be whole in a society where those who are incomplete are often treated as projects.”
BY QUIN SEVERO
Consequences of a Cynic There’ s so much to do, Young flesh and scraped knees Other cliches and ironies mask what I want in reality A frame crops out the ugly And dips the image in movie star glamor I always thought romance was stitched into everyday life, A sweetened lemonade available at any grocery store or kid’s front yard I could buy it at a store if it didn’t go against its own principles But one day I had an awakening, it’s forced, stuck on with tacky glue So easily chipped off with someone else’;s steel scalpel It’s an idea, an embellishment to rid the sour feelings that we have to consume The romance is a process of which we have an alternate goal.
A goal to fill us with faux passion and feeling. To distract us from what’s going on. The romance doesn’t take place between to lovers, but with friendships, careers, goals, Family, school work. The stars up above and below And the moon. I forbid myself of the feeling and now all I get is lime juice. LIANI ASTACIO
BY BRONSON SMILLIE
BY JANE MECHNER “These are all original pieces by me, drawn specifically based around your theme of comingofage. Each poem is by Emily Dickinson, whose work has especially inspired me and my growth as a woman and a person. My drawings not only reflect the poem on each page, but a stage in becoming 'a 'teenager' or other things correlated with becomingofage.”
“Mutual Romance” Lost nostalgia, A return to informal normality, Metal springs peaking through a mattress, A bed to sleep on forever With bodies snared in tattered strands, There's Xanax beneath, Effexor and Prozac, Whiskey to feel alright, Ecstatic, Complacent this won't be permanent And that's such a shame, Love fervently Forever effervescent, Hearts trickling through fingertip canyons, Waist skin Full moons, More memories of kissing paper planes, Of life and stability Of water and resilience Knowing where we are in the moment On the banks of the Days River, Standing so still, Smiling Naked Content with a few nights, Another tattoo poked with cedar foliage, Sterilized with a hangover Tally mark
Deciduous leaves, Left for Autumn to take, But a flashback to Summer, Warped Tour Prospective colors Falling for a lifestyle That couldn't possibly be retained, An eight hour fling, Set on a course divergent yet, All that could be asked for, Such impermanence, Vagrant hearts on chase For eternity lasting but, Always reborn too soon or late, Frozen beneath ceilings Decorated with iron and Halloween trances, Eyes stuck to pixelated fantasies Hands wrapped in rib cage blankets, Another kiss, Another hug before departing Who knows when we’ll have the chance To be friends again BY MONTANA SVOBODA
BY ALEX WESTFALL “My image is attached from a road trip through the California desert (Joshua Tree National Park) with a friend in January. It was an enormous deal for me as it was the first road trip I had ever taken without my parents. It signified a rite of passage of sorts for me. I am drawn to silver light, motion blur, intimate spaces, anything artificial, imagined memories, and the relationship between humans and the natural landscape. In the last year, photography has become an immense emotional investment for me — the work I’ve been making has felt much more “me”; almost like a diary of sorts. My favorite subject is my life and the people in it; friends who are able to pretend that the camera isn’t there.”
Â
LOOKING FOR LOVE BY ALLISON DEBRITZ “ Looking for Love is about the contemporary relationship and how it's navigated. This series focuses on young women experiencing the plight of modern love.”
BY JONAS BARDIN
I feel like my body Is constantly Outgrowing myself The first time I had my period I was wearing white pants And nothing could have prepared me For my skin turning horror film A friend told me how to use Pads and tampons ; my sister How to shave I taught myself How not to shave Like collateral damage or Stretch marks. BY MEENI LEVI
BY CHRIS MOODY
BY ALEXIS POLITZ