How does it feel to be a woman

written by Queenie Mauhay

As I’ve navigated through my life, I’ve witnessed different events that commemorated a girl’s transition into womanhood. From sweet sixteens and debuts to marriage and childbirth, I’ve seen my family come together and celebrate these life-changing experiences. Through it all, I’ve asked myself - is this what it means to be a woman?

I’m telling you, NO. These things are just the events in a woman’s life that only value her for her ability to reproduce. This is just how society depicts a woman must turn out to be not what a woman should be. A woman has the capacity to shape her own path, but it has also been a point of ridicule when one claims her power.

Having menstruation is a natural process in a woman’s body that reshapes her human anatomy. However, periods have been a subject for criticism and instigation to degrade women. These hormonal changes are natural, and affect women differently from acne, skin discoloration, stretchmarks and fat gain, yet society tells us these effects are anything but. No one has a perfect body. These scars people deem as flaws are marks of our beauty ever changing.

A woman having sex is okay. When both parties are able to give consent, it is not a point of shame. Sex is a need that everyone will experience at some point of their lives. A woman choosing to have sex at any point in her life is not reason for ridicule, yet people always raise negative opinion about women who do instead of the people who violate the rules of consent.

Dressing up is everyone’s right. If men can groom themselves without fear, why are women subject to catcalls and violation of safety? Women don't dress themselves up for men to savour. They wear the clothes they are comfortable with for them to express themselves, expound their beauty, and feel confident to present themselves in front of people. Whether the clothes are revealing, baggy, ragged, too short, too long, covers all or shows all of her skin a woman dresses for herself first and foremost.

Having a family, a child and even a relationship is a choice. If one woman decides to build a family of her own, but the other decides to pursue her career, it’s OKAY. If one agrees to bear a child to take care of and the other decides to adopt dogs and cats to treat as her own child, it’s OKAY. If you enter a relationship with someone you love, but the other decides to focus on herself and grow individually without a partner, it’s OKAY. Women can think for themselves and others just as a man can. She is not someone people can manipulate in whatever they want nor in what they think.

Beyond the grandiose celebrations for women’s milestones, I have also seen how women are made to feel unsafe and helpless when these celebrations are over. We need to continuously fight for a world where a woman can freely decide on her path and be whoever she wants without the dictation from others. She is not just someone’s shadow. She can be strong, she can be delicate, and she can be powerful.A woman is a person and no one can take her humanity away.