John Schneider + C.J. Hobgood + Tony Hoffman Tom Joyce + Buck Brannaman + Paul Wright Dep Tuany + Matt Hammett
faith hope love
Fall 2011
$4.95 US
Dan Haseltine
contents
interviews
>>
08 John Schneider
On-Screen, On-Stage, Movies or Music
12 Jars of Clay
Dan Haseltine: Creating Music with Honest, Truthful Lyrics
18 Blood: Water Mission Clean Water Project
departments
>>
Q-5:
50 The Debt
Lies Versus Truth: The Consequences of Choices
52 The Help
Ordinary Women Who Take an Extraordinary Step
54 Kero One
20 Tom Joyce
Hip Hop Artist Aims to Spread Hope
26 Jamie Tworkowski
56 Matt Hammett
9/11: From Pilot to Pentagon to Pulpit To Write Love on Her Arms: A Moment that Lead to a Movement
34
C.J. Hobgood
Riding Waves Offers Challenge and Opportunity
Outreach:
Don’t Always Believe What You Hear. Seek the Scriptures for the Real Story
Miracles: 58 Dep Tuany
A Wellspring for Life
38
Buck Brannaman
Horse Trainer Extraordinaire: He May Whisper, But it’s Not a Secret
Expressions:
42
Paul Wright
Celebrities Take Over San Diego
46
Tony Hoffman
Take a Walk
From Prison to Professional BMX Rider
Fall 2011
60 Comic-Con
What’s your story? I always look forward to Fall; it’s my favorite time of year. The weather, foliage and even attitudes change. This year Fall brings an added element of nostalgia as America reflects on the 10 year anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Even though it’s been a decade, most people can still recall exactly where they were and how they felt when the first plane hit the tower. It was a defining day for Tom Joyce (page 20) who was at his desk on the fifth floor of the Pentagon when the hijacked Boeing 757 slammed into his building. His powerful story of survival will not only inspire you, but hopefully prompt a look at what is defining your story today. I challenge you to ask yourself the question, What am I doing with the time and talent God has blessed me with? Your answer to that question reflects your personal story and the journey you choose to take. To Write Love on Her Arms founder Jamie Tworkowski (page 26) knows we live in a difficult world. Pain is real, but as their mission states, “ You need to know that your story is important and that you’re part of a bigger story. You are not alone…and your life matters.” He’s taken a moment of love for a self-destructive, addicted, broken girl and turned it into a global movement centered on hope. Spending the day with Tworkowski and his good buddy, surfing champ C.J. Hobgood, at the U.S. Open of Surfing was such a treat. Both these guys are solid in their faith and on a mission to encourage, inform and inspire others. Another man inspiring others through music for more than a decade is Dan Haseltine (page 12). As the lead singer for Jars of Clay, Haseltine’s story is one of paving the way for Christian artists in the mainstream realm. Committed to creating honest songs that invite conversation and community, the band has persevered through cultural shifts, accomplishing so much while fighting misguided perceptions along the way. As a leader on or off the stage, Haseltine also founded Blood: Water Mission as a way to get people to care about those dying in Africa. He’s using clean water to provide a complete new and fresh story for those suffering overseas. Three of my favorite stories in this issue; three life stories still in progress; and all three, in one of the most beautiful seasons. I’ve been humbled, challenged, and inspired. I hope these stories along with the other wonderful interviews featured will encourage and provide you the hope you need to continue with your personal story. God Bless, Editor-in-Chief 06 Risen Magazine
PUBLISHER :: Allan Camaisa EDITORIAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF :: Kelli Gillespie CONTRIBUTING WRITERS :: Kelli Gillespie. Patti Gillespie, Anthony Moore, Shelley Barski, Nikki Jimenez COPY EDITOR: Patti Gillespie
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The views and opinions expressed by the subjects interviewed are not necessarily those shared by the publisher or staff of Risen Media, LLC. All interviews remain the sole property of Risen Magazine. All rights reserved. No part of the contents of this magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of Risen Media, LLC. Copyright © 2011 “Risen” is a Trademark of Risen Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Cover Photo :: Victor Huckabee risenmagazine.com 07
08 Risen Magazine
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photographer: Nathan Petty
is character on a wildly popular television series in the ‘80’s made him one of the most recognizable faces on the small screen. Known as the “blonde one” of the famous duo from the show, The Duke’s of Hazard, John Schneider has had a varied career. From television (including six series and the latest sensation, Smallville) to movies, writing, and even country music singer, he’s done it all. While shooting on location for his recent film, Hardflip, Schneider took some time with Risen to share candidly about his feelings on acting, being a father, and life with Johnny Cash.
Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California
Risen Magazine: You were 18 when you landed the famous role of Bo on the television show, The Dukes of Hazard. With it having so much success, where was your head at that time? John Schneider: I had done 10 years of musical theatre prior to that, so I think my head was pretty good. It was a three-network world so it was hard to be one of the stars of a number one show in a three-network world where the average was a 28 share (28 million viewers) over 7 years. There was nobody on the planet that didn’t know about The Dukes of Hazard. That didn’t mean that they liked it, but there was nobody that didn’t know it; it would be like not knowing The Beatles. So it might have affected me, but I’m a New Yorker, I’ve always been blunt, a don’t-beat-around-the-bush guy. I say what I feel…it’s just kind of how I am. RM: Your son is not much older than you were when you started and now he’s gotten into acting, what do you think about him entering the craft? JS: I think it’s great; he goes to LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts). He is a theatre grad and if you start there, you know how useless acting in the dark is, so you have a greater appreciation for people who know how to turn lights on and aim them. You have appreciation for sound; an appreciation for the whole craft rather than just being thrown into a situation where you are treated unusually nice and you start to think it’s all about you. When you come from theatre you can’t think it’s all about you. You know you’re a cog in the wheel and together you make a nice ride for the audience. He knows that already at 19, which I think is really good. I know he’s fine, he won’t fall prey to somebody kissing up to him and thinking he’s really hot stuff. He may be hot stuff, but you’re never really supposed to think that.
RM: I think you do such a great job of playing a “father” role in some many different ways – Hardflip, Smallville, The Secret Life of an American Teenager – what is your view of what a real life father should be? JS: A father should care about what you’re doing, but not really monitor it. A father should be there ready with advice, but not offer it without being asked – depending upon the age. We started Smallville and the writers had very young children. They were writing a father/young - child relationship that I fought, all the time, and got fairly unpopular doing it. But my kids were teenagers and I insisted it’s a different relationship. I’ve got cows to feed, I don’t care what happened in study hall today, I could care less. “But it’s your son, and you love him.” “ Yeah, it’s my son and I love him and he’s going to grow up and be a man unless I wander around and wipe his puppy dog tears and butt all day.” They thought it was heartless. And you also have to be there for your kids. You’ve got to be there – which is really tough. I did five [consecutive] years of Smallville and then just a couple of months of Smallville this year and last year, so I skipped four years of it. But during the time I was doing the first five years, my kids were young, and I was in fear. I think many times I was a much better father on television than I was at home because I wasn’t home. I wanted the kids to remember, not that they had a dad that wasn’t there, but that they had a dad that came home a lot, from another country just to be there. Kids need to know you love them however old they are. You love them; you respect them. You will reprimand them, correct them if need be, but as they get older it changes, it really changes. You have to be realistic. RM: You’ve done a lot of mainstream films, but have lent your talents to
faith-based movies as well. It seems that through it all you’ve been able to keep integrity about being a “man.” Just because you’re a man with faith, it doesn’t mean you can’t be strong and rugged and true to whom you are meant to be. Was there a specific influence in your life or how did your view of a Christian man come about? JS: I did a movie with Johnny Cash. I did a movie with a bunch of big county folk singers and at the time, I was a big country folk singer. RM: Yes, you had four number one songs and a number one album… JS: Yeah, and I even lived with Johnny Cash for awhile. Johnny was the first Christian man that I saw that didn’t have to check his masculinity at the
gotten. It was in a box from a guy named Manuel who makes all these great dusters and he said, “It’s brand new. I just had it designed and done, it’s my favorite. Try it on.” So I tried it on and it fit really nicely and I told him, “This is great.” As I began to take it off, he said, “No you keep it.” And I said, “ You just told me it was your favorite.” And he said, “If it wasn’t my favorite, I wouldn’t give it to you.” He was full of really great things. (Another time) when I first moved into the house, he stopped me at the front door and my mother was there and my grandmother was there and he was always very, very polite – “Nice to meet you Mrs. Schneider, nice to meet you Mrs. Dugan.” And then he stopped me before I came in and he said, “I want to tell you one thing, if I ever catch you treating this like it’s not your house, you’re no longer welcome in it.” From
Integrity is not saying it was somebody else’s fault. Integrity is taking your lumps when you deserve them. door. He was a guy. And that was the first time Christianity of any kind was remotely attractive to me because all other Christians I’d seen were so sweet and nice…that I thought, “My Gosh, what? Do you have paisley curtains in your Prius?” I was never attracted to that, and never read that, I still don’t read that. I read the Bible, although I do not read the Bible as much as I used to and I think things are cyclical, sadly, but I think they are. There’s the bluntness. Integrity can mean seeing the wrong thing and not doing it or integrity can mean seeing the wrong thing and doing it, ready to take your lumps for having done so. Integrity is an interesting word, it moves around. Integrity is not saying it was somebody else’s fault. Integrity is taking your lumps when you deserve them. So Johnny Cash was an amazing example to me. Not a preacher, not Christian-y, not all Jesus-y like everybody wants to be. And that still baffles me. I think the most important thing you can do as a Christian is remember what it was like not to be one. Nobody likes to be preached at. That’s why it’s reserved for Sunday. Not because it’s the Lord’s day, but because that’s about as much as you can tolerate being preached at and not just want to strangle somebody. If going to Heaven means you have to be perfect, then I’m going to Hell. If you’ve got to be perfect to go to Heaven, it’s going to be a very clean, uninhabited place. Nobody’s up there, not even the Apostles. Jesus is up there looking at His watch going, “Where is everybody?” [Laughter] RM: I think it would be fascinating to live with Johnny Cash, when you look back on your time with him, besides that faith piece, did he impact your music or film choices? What stands out the most? JS: We were just buddies. I lived with Johnny for a solid year and then we were friends the rest of the time. We were not industry at all. We played pool, we fished, we looked at civil war buttons, and coins that he collected – he always collected coins. I’d play him some new music I was doing. At one point I had done a song and Waylon Jennings was going to sing it [with me] and he said, “Do you need somebody else to sing?” So he [ Johnny] came in and sang on it. …(another reflection)…He gave me a wonderful coat, that he had just 10 Risen Magazine
that point on I had a key, there was food in the drawer and it was just great. And he meant it. Knowing Johnny Cash, or knowing a Christian that is not full of crap, makes you want to be a better person. It doesn’t mean you are; it means you want to be, or you recognize there is something to it. RM: Whether it is music or movies, because so much of society looks to actors and musicians, are you intentional about your material? How do you choose what to put your name on? JS: I think a good song, finds you. When I did records, two albums a year, I would go out and look and look and look and invariably, I would find that good stuff [music] would be the one somebody I respected had tucked away in a drawer somewhere and at the last minute said, “ You know I thought about you, listen to this song, tell me what you think?” And that would be the song. And it would make the hair on my arm stand up. A good script will make me angry or it will make me cry. It will evoke some sort of real unexpected emotion and if it doesn’t, then it’s not worth doing. Johnny Cash told me I’d get back in the music business when a song found me, and The Promise is the song that found me. I don’t know if that career is for me again, probably not. But it’s okay I did it, and I did it well for a long time, but that chapter is done. RM: I know writing has become a passion for you now. What are you currently writing? JS: Scripts. I just had a script optioned that we’re hoping to shoot in Louisiana. I wrote it and I’m going to direct it. Something happened after [turning] 50 that made me aware of story structure. It’s about a wild child hospice nurse in a town in Louisiana that has to rethink all of her self-worth when a bunch of her patients end up dying unexpectedly. It’s called Back Water, and it’s very dark and very gritty, but there’s hope in it.
of Jars Clay Band Focuses on Creating Music with Honest, Truthful Lyrics
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photographer: Victor Huckabee
group of college guys take a music class, they enter a band competition and win. As a result, a bidding war begins between more than a handful of record labels to sign them and once their first single makes its debut, it becomes the biggest mainstream hit ever by a band on a Christian label. This story may sound like one only Hollywood could script as an inspirational feelgood film about following your dreams, but for Jars of Clay this was exactly the start of an exciting and challenging ride that has become an illustrious music career impacting millions of fans. Risen was able to have a candid conversation with the lead singer of this multi-platinum, Grammy Award winning band, Dan Haseltine, about fighting perceptions, cultural shifts, and the lasting power of this beloved band.
Interviewed exclusively for Risen in San Juan Capistrano, California
Risen Magazine: You had to make some pretty big choices early in life… like quitting college, moving to Nashville, and becoming a band…what went into those decisions? Dan Haseltine: We were taking studio-recording classes where we had to write songs and then got graded on recording them – actually most of the stuff on our first record was class projects for college (Greenville. We finished recording three songs and we saw there was a band competition where you sent in songs on a cassette tape and an industry professional would critique your material. You had to send fifty-bucks and three songs. We just wanted to know from an industry professional if what we were doing seemed like it mattered or not, if it was good. Instead of getting a critique, we got a phone call from somebody saying we were one of the 10 finalists in this competition and they needed us to come to Nashville where we would have to play two songs. This was a little difficult for us was because we were in a studio recording class together, we weren’t really a band, we had never played the songs live, we only recorded them. We quickly learned how to play two of the songs, went to Nashville and ended up winning the competition. That was during Spring break. We went back to school after that to finish out the year. We started getting phone calls from record companies on our dorm floor. We lived in the basement of a dorm we called The Underground, and had only one pay phone. We had to write things down because it turned out there were about seven different labels that were interested in us. We put these instructions by the phone for everybody else that lived on the floor with us, basically saying, “If a record label calls, don’t say anything about this, or here’s what you can say, here’s what you can’t.” There was sort of a bidding war going on before we ever even got to Nashville. At the end of that school year we decided that we would go down for the summer and get jobs and hang out and meet some of the labels and see what happens. We never ended up going back to school. RM: That’s amazing. When you’re going through a process like that as a sophomore in college, where is your head? Are you thinking these decisions can affect my whole future?
DH: I was 20, and the oldest, thinking, “Wow, we’re starting our career.” I think what was hardest was that when you go to college you sort of expect that you’re going to be there for four years, you kind of get used to your community of people and friends. We felt like it was a bit of a whiplash. Just that shock of, “Oh we’re uprooting already.” I think we were worried about that. We didn’t really know anybody in Nashville so we were just there because that’s where most of the labels we were talking to were based. So we thought, “Well alright we’ll go there.” And then we had to get to know a new city and figure out how to navigate the music industry. So it was a bit of a process and it was kind of scary, but we had a lot of great people come around us early on. I have an uncle that is a drummer and he introduced us to this lawyer, and it turns out it was a guy named Jim Zumwalt – who happens to be one of the most prominent entertainment lawyers in Nashville. We ended up having a good advocate almost immediately. What’s interesting about our record deal and sort of commentary on the Christian music community is that before we signed our record deal…literally while I’m sitting at the desk, there is a photographer and all these people from the label standing around, and I say, “I need to make one more phone call.” I’m calling my lawyer while we’re all in the office to sign the contract for the deal and asking him a few things. Although it was the end of our negotiation he said, “I just need you to know, I’ve negotiated for you guys the best contract in the Christian music industry, but this is the worst contract I’ve ever negotiated.” So you can kind of see in the Christian music community what was going on – people trying to get a lot out of you. So that’s how we started. RM: Wow! So then your first single Flood (1995) climbed the charts and became one of the biggest mainstream hits ever by a band on a Christian label…were you trying to make a song universally appealing or were you surprised by the success of it? DH: I think we didn’t see the lines between what was Christian and what was mainstream music because all of our influences were mainstream – that’s what we listened to growing up. None of us had really grown up in Christian music. Most of us were listening to The Beatles and The Who, Led Zepperisenmagazine.com 13
Photo: Kharen Hill 14 Risen Magazine
lin and stuff like that. I was a huge Depeche Mode fan and so we were just making music that was born out of our influences. But there was always that question, “Why does Christian music not sound like mainstream music?” To this day it is hard to put your finger on what was different, but some of it was that there’s no tension in it. People didn’t like to use discordant tones; everything was very clean and pretty; but you need tension to have a good song. Anyway, we were trying to let all the doors open at the same time – that’s what we wanted. If we were going to be critiqued for our music, we wanted it to be by our peers and the people that represented innovation in music. We wanted to be a part of the greater conversational shifts in culture that were happening. I don’t know that we intentionally wanted to be Christian or mainstream as much as we just wanted to be everything back then. It was interesting because we would do both at the same time. When Flood was beginning to hit, there was a station in Seattle and one in St. Louis, Missouri, that started playing this song. We were out on tour with Michael W. Smith, so we would do an opening slot, then get in a van and drive into the city and play in some crappy little club every night. We’d do two shows. One in the big arena and then one in the little club for the rock radio station; it was sort of this schizophrenic environment. We did the same shows because we were all too scared to talk in any of our concerts, so we just played the 10 songs that we knew. [Laughter] There was never an evangelical bent to what we were doing at all; we were just making music that was formed by people who had grown up hearing the Gospel from our families.
Rock because they felt like people were trying to co-opt their station. As if we would play a song and they thought we would use that platform to present an agenda. They were very wary of people that were Christians. So we would walk into a mainstream radio station and they would look at us like we were aliens. We would spend all of our time trying to convince them that we were human beings and that we didn’t have an agenda, that we weren’t an evangelical group; we wouldn’t get up and start preaching on the radio station. We were musicians, not preachers. We would talk about Led Zeppelin and The Beatles and what’s going on in music to kind of let them know we were students of culture, but we weren’t freaks. And in the end, we would win in the sense that we would become friends. It was hard though [because] we would feel like there was always this push for people to want to dismiss us because of the Christian label. The record was produced by Adrian Belew – legendary guitar player for Talking Heads – who had just finished playing on the Nine Inch Nails’, The Downward Spiral record when he came to work for us. [He was] not a Christian producer by any means, which is also rare for the Christian community. We never worked with Christian producers, we always worked with people we thought were innovators. Adrian Belew produces the record, we’re playing on Rock radio, we’re signed to Jive Records/Silvertone – (they were just about to jump into Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys and all of that) – so we’re in that culture playing in bars and clubs and we’d get into town and the entertainment guide would say: “Bible-thumpers Jars of Clay,” or “Holy Rollers Jars of Clay.” I would get on the phone and call the editor and basically say look, “Come out. You’re making assumptions of who we are based on some baggage that you have with what you think the church might be. But we’re not that. You need to come out and you need to change that.” I did that for two years. Whenever I got into town I would fight that. There was literally this force just pushing against the band. We wanted people to know we were writing from a Christian worldview, but we weren’t writing propaganda. After a couple of years I realized I hated what I did. I spent so much time fighting that perception and it just keeps winning because there is a lot of baggage in American culture against the church. A lot of it is warranted, so you realize, that’s what we were fighting against. There’s no other genre where an artist carries that weight of every other band in that genre. So we eventually stopped fighting it and just kind of said, “Okay we’re a Christian band, so what?” We started asking, “Is it a good song, or is it not?” So many times you just spin all this energy and we hated what we did because they was no joy in it at that point. We had to get back to that place [of joy]. We had to continue to make music and be honest and let the music be the argument.
We wanted people to know we were writing from a Christian worldview, but we weren’t writing propaganda.
RM: Flood is such a recognizable song now, when you were writing it did you sense that…did you know you had a hit on your hands? DH: No, we actually fought the label on releasing Flood because on that record it really is the only song that is different. We actually thought, “This isn’t representative of what’s going on…we really wish you’d release something different.” Just proves how much we knew about radio back then. [Laughter] RM: You have had a lot of success and fame; that doesn’t come without its challenges, especially when straddling Christian and mainstream lines. What would you say you struggle with the most? DH: These days we don’t really wrestle with it as much, the markets have changed as well as the perception of what Jars is and what it isn’t. Back then though it was really complicated. What we were doing was something that we thought was really simple – playing music for people and being honest. But all of a sudden, you start feeling like everybody wants to own you. The Christian community wanted to be able to call us their own so that they could feel credible for some reason. A fan would call the radio and be like, “Did you know they’re a Christian band? Can you play this song?” There weren’t any Christian bands playing on Rock radio – the only band that had ever sort of done what we had done was Stryper, but that was more of a novelty, and then Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant who were in the pop world. In the modern rock world there was nothing. They [stations] were very hesitant to play Christian music on modern
RM: What then is your take on Christian music now, and I guess genres in general? What do you think is the current perception of Christian music? DH: I think the more Christian music defines itself, the more room it’s leaving for bands to be outside of it and not get trapped in that Christian perception. [The one that says] If you want to be a Christian band, then to fit that Christian mold you have to sing worship music. And if you’re not singing worship music, you actually don’t really have a place in the machine of risenmagazine.com 15
Christian music – the marketing dollars, the attention – those don’t get put on you. I feel like bands are being allowed to look at the world and describe it and write honest songs about everything, even from a Christian worldview, not having to contend with the pressure of the Christian music community in a sense. RM: Do you recognize that you and Jars have been a major player in paving the way for future artists? DH: We don’t think about it that way…only because it’s not like we knew what we were doing. We weren’t trying to be frontrunners. We literally were just trying to be a band. We weren’t trying to be a Christian band that broke new ground and crossed over into mainstream music. Again, these were all terms that other people were using for us and we were saying, “We just want to write songs, we just want to play music.” If our songs encourage people, that’s amazing and we love that. Any artist would hope for some of the things we’ve been able to see happen with our music. I would never change what I do as a writer at this point because I’ve seen enough encouragement. I’ve seen the songs make their way into people’s worlds and the soundtrack of their really hard circumstances. I don’t think everybody’s songs get to do that, and especially artists that don’t care if they’re lying. That was sort of the one criterion we put on ourselves from the very beginning. Everybody probably has certain barriers they put on their songs, especially within Christian music. The only criteria we’ve ever put on our songs was that we wouldn’t lie. If we’re writing about sex, we’re not going to lie about it or glamorize some part of it. If we’re writing about brokenness, we’re not going to lie about it. If we’re writing about victory, or mercy, or grace, we’re not going to lie about it. We’re just going to say what we think is true, which allows us to write about anything and everything from an honest perspective.
DH: I remember waking up one day, we had finished the record Good Monsters, and there were all these declarations on that record. I came out of that and found myself using some lofty church language and some of the times it sounds poetic, but most of the time it’s because I’m not spending the right amount of time trying to get underneath and figure out what I really want to say. I decided at that point to stop using that language. We got into making a record called, The Long Fall Back to Earth, which was all about human relationships. Within our circle there were just a lot of really hard relationships. Steve was going through a divorce and the rest of us were all wrestling in our marriages to kind of pick up a lot of pieces of things that just happened over the years of being a band, and touring, and being part of a lifestyle that isn’t set up to sustain families. That was the season where everything started to fall apart for everyone. We wanted to write songs about relationships. That was the point where I said that I’m not going to use a single bit of church language because that would do a disservice to the humanity of what we were trying to write about. From that point on it’s really been the key boundary that I’ve put on songwriting.
We had to continue to make music and be honest and let the music be the argument.
RM: That perspective makes each of your albums so uniquely different. Your latest album, The Shelter, was much more collaborative…what prompted taking that direction? DH: The Shelter was really supposed to be a side project. It wasn’t actually supposed to be a Jars record. We wanted it to be more of an artist-collective project. We enlisted everybody to be part of the writing. The Shelter was going to be its own brand; its own thing. The label couldn’t really get their head around how they would present this artist-collective group to the world and we were having a hard time getting them to understand what we wanted to be about. So they said they really needed it to be more Jars-centric. It was a record intentionally for the church community and to kind of find its way into congregational singing and stuff like that. But we didn’t want to feel like we were jumping into the worship song movement because that’s not really what Jars is. We’ve written a few worship songs over the years, because why not? It’s part of our DNA. But we weren’t trying to enter the worship-conversation so much as we were trying to enter the community-conversation. This is a very communal project, that’s what we were trying to create; we wanted everybody to be working on everybody’s songs. RM: Even with the album being for the church audience, it’s not filled with church language. The words you tend to write for all your songs are very universal so everyone can understand and relate. 16 Risen Magazine
RM: The lifestyle is tough for a family, so what does that look like? Do your wife and kids travel with you? Does the band have accountability on the road? What have you found to work? DH: We all have people in our lives that are our community. We don’t all live that close to each other in Nashville. When we’re home we don’t see each other unless we’re working. It’s hard to integrate family into what we do out here [on the road]. We’re still trying to figure it out because as the music industry becomes more niche markets, touring becomes a more important part of it. You end up doing more shows for less money to get out in front of people. It’s more work and backwards from where I think we are as a band. We’ve been making music for almost 18 years – that’s a lot of time on the road. We’ll do four shows a week, [usually] Thursday through Sunday, and be home Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Consistency is actually the most important thing for families, knowing that we’re home on these specific days, especially for our kids. It matters to us that our kids know when we’re going to be home. RM: As the culture shifts, and the way people get music and hear music shifts, how do you adapt with the change and do you ever think, “We’ve accomplished so much, maybe this will be our last album?” DH: We’re still music fans so I think we still love the discovery of it and that will continue to fuel what we do creatively. I think we are very aware of music, culture, and technology and where it is moving. We’ve even amongst ourselves said, “This may be our last album.” It doesn’t mean we’ll stop making music. We actually might start making more music, but this might be our last 10-song record. We might release a couple songs a month or build our own subscription service, where we can release everything and give it all to our fans. It’s hard to know, but we’re all in the conversation. There is a shift happening and we don’t have to be in the album cycle where you make a record and then you tour it for a year or two years and then you go make another record. There are so many new ways that are more creative. I think we’ll still make music for a long time.
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RM: The band’s name comes from a verse: 2 Corinthians 4:7, which reads “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” When in your career has this been most real to you? DH: The name matters to us mostly because it was a metaphor for the frailty of mankind. Paul [the apostle] was writing this and describing that human beings are fragile, frail things and yet God instills something so valuable as the Holy Spirit within us. And you know our soul. Just like people would take their most precious belongings and put them in clay jars – something so easily broken. That was the metaphor for humanity. That’s what we wanted
to write about. A friend of mine was asking us at one point, “If Jars didn’t exist, would there be a space or would other bands fill it up? What makes you guys unique?” At the beginning of our career, we were writing about humanity. Christian music at the time involved people always writing about that one day when you are victorious; that one day when you know Jesus and things are all right. We were writing about the 29 other days of the month. The rest of the month when things were crappy, when life didn’t really change, when you had to muster that kind of hope and faith; when it all didn’t come easy. That’s what we were writing about and it didn’t seem like anybody else was hitting that…I think we’re still in the space.
Making a Difference: Jars of Clay Helps Provide Clean Water Through Project
BLOOD: WATER MISSION Risen Magazine: Tell me about this non-profit you started. I understand you founded it after a trip to Africa. What grabbed a hold of you and made you want to start this organization? Dan Haseltine: We [ Jars of Clay] had been approached in 2001 by World Vision asking if we would start talking about AIDS from the stage. They had just received the results of a poll taken in the evangelical community which asked evangelicals if they had the opportunity to help somebody with AIDS in Africa, would they? Only three percent said they would. World Vision was shocked by the results and this sense that the church didn’t understand AIDS in Africa. The church in America knew AIDS as the gay cancer… the loudest voice in the church at the time was saying people in Africa were reaping the [consequence] of their sin and we should just ignore them and let them die. But obviously, we would all think that [sentiment] is crazy. We told World Vision that we would talk about it so they started feeding us statistics for a year. After the end of a year, I just didn’t feel any closer to it, it was just information. So I decided to take a trip; I went to Africa for 10 days. I went to three countries; South Africa, Zimbabwe, and Malawi. What’s funny is Bono [U2’s Lead Singer] had been making his rounds on the Heart of America Tour to try to get artists involved in what he was doing. He was in Nashville the afternoon I left on my trip, so I met with him and a few other artists. We actually had a nice connection because his first trip to Africa was Malawi and that’s kind of what changed his heart and made him want to do stuff for Africa. I went and experienced a lot of things, but the one thing that I saw that shocked me [in Malawi] was that while driving from this one community out into the Bush, we drove over a dry river bed and there were people in the river
bed digging holes and sticking their faces down into the holes. I thought that was really weird and didn’t know what they were doing. Our driver told me they were drinking. That was the first I had heard about communities that didn’t have access to clean water and that obviously started a line of questions. AIDS is a disease that destroys the immune system, but AIDS isn’t actually what’s killing these people, it’s the water that they are drinking and all the diseases that are in the water. If you don’t have clean water in your community and HIV/AIDS is prevalent, then the water is just killing everybody. I realized what the puzzle was; “How do you talk to the church or evangelical community about engaging in HIV/ AIDS; something that is tied to the sexual culture, which the church can’t seem to handle?” All of a sudden I realized the answer: water. It’s really hard to argue whether or not a person should have access to clean water. It was the entry point. It meant, “Okay we’re going to get them to care and do something about HIV/AIDS, because we are going to get them to care about clean water.” So we started Blood: Water Mission. We began on college campuses. When we were doing shows we would rent a lecture hall in the afternoon and I would invite anyone to come and would tell them about what I saw in Africa, what was going on. I wouldn’t ask them for money, but instead I would ask them to write a paper, or an article for their newspaper, or one for their classes; to tell their family about it and make it part of the conversation. We did that for a couple of years. Then one day, we were on the campus of Whitworth University in Spokane, Washington, doing the lecture and a girl who was graduating that year named Jena Lee was listening. We left, went back to Nashville and a week later received a 22-page proposal from her stating how she thought Blood: Water Mission should operate. It
was like a manifesto from this graduating college student. I read through it and a week later, I got a revised version of it. RM: Wow! So you hired her? DH: I called her up and said, “Hey, when you graduate, come to Nashville.” She lived in my basement with my family and we ended up renting a room at an old church building and started Blood: Water Mission there. Now, nearly 10 years into the organization, she’s still the director. She and I have developed the 1000 Wells Project, which was our big campaign. I found a statistic from the World Health Organization that had said one dollar can equal clean water for an African for an entire year. Everybody talks about issues from the 40,000-foot perspective; every issue is in the millions of people. There is no way for people to really get a sense for what is going on. I realized the opportunity we had was the human story. All we are asking people to do is care about one person. We can tell that story. We started the campaign with a plan to have clean water in one thousand communities in Africa, but we didn’t really know what that would look like. We weren’t water experts so we had to learn and enlist the help of a lot of people that were actually good at that sort of thing. Just this past year we reached that goal and the result is that about 700,000 people have clean water now that didn’t have it before. One of our mentor’s describes Blood: Water Mission as two rescues: In Africa it’s the rescue of the tangible effects of poverty and disease, and in the U.S. it’s the rescue from our trivia. And that’s equally as important. We’re creating a shift in culture.
For more information visit: www.bloodwatermission.com risenmagazine.com 19
A military helicopter takes off after dropping off personnel at the Pentagon. Sept. 12, 2001 AP Photo/Ron Edmonds
From Pilot to Pentagon to Pulpit, His Faith Has Carried Him Through
Tom Joyce Writer: Patti Gillespie
n atomic bomb explosion—a fatal gunshot fired—a shattering earthquake – for many people these events trigger an instant recall of where they were at the time it happened. Tom Joyce was at his desk the fateful day in September 2001 when terrorists attacked the United States. A hijacked Boeing 757 slammed into the Pentagon where his office was located on the fifth floor. As the building shook and smoke began to billow out, Joyce scrambled to help co-workers to safety and then exit himself. Now, ten years later, Joyce is retired from active duty and is currently the Pastor of Discipleship and Training at Immanuel Bible Church in Springfield, Virginia. As America commemorates the 9/11 anniversary, Joyce reflects on the day that forever changed his life.
Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine
Risen Magazine: Before we get into your remembrance of the events of 9/11, tell me a little about your military background. Tom Joyce: I graduated from the Naval Academy, spent time in Pensacola and was trained TOPGUN on the F-14 Tomcat at Miramar [California]. I later went to grad school at Harvard majoring in Public Administration. ( Joyce has also been in combat a number of times and has received numerous awards including the Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit, Meritorious Service Medal, Joint Meritorious Service Medal, Navy Commendation Medal, Navy Achievement Medal and other unit and individual awards.) RM: Wow, so you were a TOPGUN pilot? TJ: Yes. I was an F-14 instructor which was around the time that the movie Top Gun was being made out at Miramar base. RM: So were you in the movie? TJ: Several of us [pilots] did actually do some of the flying in the movie. I also spent three years on the staff, full-time duty at the Naval Academy training students. Having the opportunity to work with some 750-800 (midshipmen) and influencing their lives as they were beginning their careers was a very rewarding experience. risenmagazine.com 21
RM: What about your family? TJ: After graduating from the Naval Academy, I transferred to Pensacola and met my wife the first week I was there. She was teaching at a Christian school and we met at a Bible study. We have four children; the youngest is still in college. RM: As we move on to reflecting on 9/11, where exactly were you in the Pentagon? TJ: My office was on the fifth floor. The Pentagon consists of five floors and five concentric rings. My office was on the side of the impact point. When the airplane hit the building, it penetrated right directly underneath us and took out all of the windows and debris and despite of wiping out all of the three floors below us we were still standing. At the time I was the senior guy in the office, maybe about a hundred people or so that day. I was working that morning at my desk and someone said, “Hey Captain Joyce, you need to come see the television here…an airplane just hit the World Trade Center up in New York.” Well, I grew up in New York, in fact my dad was a New York City cop and I was pretty familiar with the city, pretty familiar with the World Trade Center and all of the surrounding airports. [When I heard him say that] all I could think was that maybe a small airplane, like a Cesena, had taken off that morning and lost its way and hit the side of the building maybe in the fog or something. Then a co-worker said, “No, you better come see this…it’s pretty overwhelming.” So I went in and we all watched in the aftermath of the first airplane hitting the first tower. And then like many people, we saw that the second one hit live. Out of the corner of the picture [on TV] an airplane came into view and flew right into the second tower. So we were on alert, not officially, but we thought some attack is going on somewhere and we might obviously be a target being at the Pentagon. But what do you do? You don’t leave your post, so we were there to work that day and I went back to work and I remember I was specifically just looking out the window…I used to go for a run everyday at the Pentagon…around Arlington National Cemetery…or past the Memorial Bridge or something…I was just looking out the window and kind of mapping in my mind my route...I just needed to clear my mind from everything I had seen on TV, and that’s when the airplane hit the Pentagon. It had taken off out of Dulles Airport which is 30-40 minutes outside of Washington, D.C., and it was heading to the west coast. It had about 65 people on board, was full of gas and somewhere between 28-30 minutes after take off, the airplane turned around and was heading toward Washington. We don’t know if the Pentagon was the actual target or if it was the capital, but all we can tell you is that it was going about 560 mph when it did hit the Pentagon.
getting lifted up and the floor was buckling underneath us; and then looking up and seeing a massive fireball come towards the window. I thought, this is it, we didn’t know it was an airplane at the time and thought it could have been a bomb, but just knew it was going to be something big, and the next thing I remember, is that the windows in our office caved in and we had fire coming into the office with burning jet fuel and debris. Some of the cinder blocks had blown out of the walls from the pressure and they were coming across the room almost like cruise missiles, taking people out. I was knocked back. I was not injured whatsoever, but I was knocked back. We did have some people in the office that were pretty severely hurt with head injuries and needed to be taken care of quickly. People started being evacuated immediately because we knew something massive had happened and you could see next to us the E ring down below was on fire and needed people to get out. I grabbed another Navy Captain and we just started going around to each cubicle accounting for everybody making sure we had everybody there and then he and I were the last ones making a way out ourselves.
Some of the cinder blocks had blown out of the walls from the pressure and they were coming across the room almost like cruise missiles taking people out.
RM: How powerful was the impact, were you physically knocked down? TJ: I just remember the first thing was this rumble and then my leg kind of 22 Risen Magazine
RM: I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you. TJ: It took us 40 minutes to get out of the Pentagon since we were up on the fifth floor coming down, through the impact point, through the [first three] floors that took the entire hit of the airplane that penetrated through the E ring, through the D ring, the C ring, and stopped just short of the B ring. The fire and debris carried on through the B ring and it was a mess. We had to go out the other side of the Pentagon. RM: And the Pentagon is such a big building. TJ: Yes, some of the people at the Pentagon [on the opposite side] didn’t even know it was hit until they saw it on CNN. RM: When you got out were you able to contact your wife, your family? TJ: Cells [phones] were jammed. We couldn’t get a hold of anybody and it was probably two to three hours later that I ran in to a guy from my church in the parking lot and borrowed his phone to call my wife. [At the time] she was a teacher for the Christian school at the church [we attended]. I gave a message to the principal to let her know that I was okay and I told him about any of the other dads and moms that I had seen from our church or the school. Five or six names of people; this person is ok, this one is ok… we did lose one from our church who was killed in the impact and two others that were severely burned. RM: It must have been so difficult to get through all of the commotion. TJ: A lot of things were happening, all of the emergency vehicles were there, and people couldn’t get their cars out so we started walking. There were probably 8 or 10 thousand of us that were just walking down the shoulder of interstate 395 into northern Virginia. Washington, D.C. was being evacuated and those who were driving were pulling to the side of the road, of course
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Joyce was both an F-14 Tomcat pilot and instructor
most of us were in uniform, and started picking us up and taking us to wherever we needed to go. It was maybe 2:00 or so in the afternoon that I finally got home to my family. RM: When you were able to finally get home, what was that like? TJ: We just kept watching the news and we prayed a lot together as a family. [Within a short time] I got a phone call from one of the pastors at our church, I had been serving there as an elder at the time, and he told me about [a man] who was missing. He asked me if I would go with him [to the man’s home], he wanted me to talk to the family as a military person and tell them that their dad was not coming home. His office was at the E ring impact point and nothing was ever found about him. We stayed with his family for quite a while, it was so hard. Later that night when I got home, it was probably about 10:00, I opened the front door and could see the light on upstairs. As I put my foot on the step to go upstairs, my eldest son spoke out, “Dad!” He had been sitting in the living room waiting for me to get home and he jumped to his feet, threw his arms around me, was hugging me and saying, “Dad, I’m so thankful that God spared your life when it hit the Pentagon, I’m just so thankful that God spared your life.” He was really holding on, it was one of those great father-son moments…and then he stepped back and was looking at me and said, “Can I ask you a question?” I could tell words were coming to him, but he couldn’t get them out yet. He was pretty emotional and he said, “Dad, I’m so thankful God spared your life from the Pentagon, but Dad, what are you going to do with the rest of your life now? God spared your life, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?“ And it was almost as if the Holy Spirit had spoken through my son to me. In my military career I really had reached the pinnacle, I could have gone on and done other things, but I was at a place where I had turned down another position or move because it was going to affect my family. So I knew I was going to retire [here] as a Navy Captain, but my son’s question was really a catalyst for me to be seeking the Lord for my next steps. I had been going to seminary at night taking classes because I wanted to learn some of the biblical languages and I wanted to increase my knowledge on geology and some other things. [My son’s] question was really a catalyst that caused me to consider praying about what was next. It was also at that time that our church, where I had been serving as an elder, approached me to consider coming on staff as a pastor, a discipleship pastor.
probably by the third week of August the following year that we moved back in. I actually retired in April of 2003, about a year and a half after the attack. It’s not an easy process to retire from the Navy, you give about a year’s notice and you have to plan out. But when I started the process shortly after 9/11, it just felt that God was leading us [my wife and me]. Everything was lining up [to go on staff at the church] and it was obvious that this was how God was working in my life and the lives of my family. I started at the church the week after I retired that April. [In the Bible] Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good…” I don’t think that God used 9/11 necessarily just to get me to go into ministry, but it is all part of his plan and the aftermath of his plan in many. Many people’s lives have been significantly changed for the betterment of the kingdom.
My son’s question was really a catalyst for me to be seeking the Lord for my next steps.
RM: So did you go straight into ministry or back to work at the Pentagon? TJ: I went back to work at the Pentagon. Of course we couldn’t go back to the same office, and it was about a month later that we could go back into the office through the debris to get the classified material that we had in safes. People and businesses donated office equipment and computers and things like that to get us back up and running as soon as possible. Within 48 hours of the attack, we were back up to full strength at a remote office building about a mile away from the Pentagon. About a month after 9/11, I remember President Bush came over and told us that within a year our offices would be re-built. And they were. It was 24 Risen Magazine
RM: What do you do in your position at Immanuel Bible Church? TJ: I am the pastor of Discipleship Training and Family. We don’t have a senior pastor, but instead a teaching team and I lead that teaching team [so Sunday messages]. RM: I know that you speak at Iron Sharpens Iron men’s events…what is the message that you bring? TJ: Well normally, I am one of the keynote speakers and 99 percent of the time I tell the story of 9/11 and the impact it had on my life and the question my son asked me. I then put that question back to the men expressing, the attack on the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 was not the defining moment of my life, but it is a defining moment that God used to build his story through my life, as I now teach and disciple others.
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Your Best Days Are Yet to Come…
C.J. Hobgood Jamie Tworkowski
Not Only Believe That, They Live It
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photographer: Allister Ann
his story begins with two high school kids. Both are from Florida. Both love to surf. Both became role models. Both have unique spheres of influence. Both are still close friends. Both are important characters in each others’ stories. C.J. Hobgood is one of the best surfers in the world. He’s a former U.S. Open of Surfing champion and currently one of the toughest competitor’s in the sport. Jamie Tworkowski founded To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), an organization dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. Its vision seems simple enough, yet over and over again people respond like it’s the first time they’ve ever heard these words: “ You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you’re part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters…. You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.” For both Hobgood and Tworkowski, their story continues. And together they bring the message that, “ You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.” The world is broken, families are shattered, pain is real; and all the problems this life presents seem to overshadow any of the available solutions for many people. But TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and to present hope in a way that resonates and makes one really truly believe their best days are still to come. The statistics are staggering: • 121-million people worldwide suffer from depression (World Health Organization) • 2/3 of those suffering from depression will never seek help • Untreated depression is the #1 cause of suicide (National Institute on Mental Health) • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 18-24 years old (NIMH) TWLOHA’s message is that statistics can change. The organization believes that statistics are just numbers and those numbers can be altered. TWLOHA has responded to hundreds of thousands of messages from all over the world… these are issues of humanity and by balancing honesty with compassion, they are confidently leading a much needed cultural conversation. The conversation is one that both men know all too well. Tworkowski and members of his family have had struggles with depression. But he’s been able to get the help he needs and work through it in a healthy fashion. In fact, that help includes leaning on one of his closest friends for support. “C.J. Hobgood is a friend and I feel like it’s a short list of guys that you just do life with,” says Tworkowski. “It’s people that you know, who invite you into their story and it’s reciprocal.” Hobgood shares he also has had struggles when it comes to “family, and divorce, and a lot of real world things.” He adds, “I know the biggest thing for me with the struggles I’ve gone through, is that others have gone though it and we’re supposed to talk – that’s what makes sense. And that’s exactly what TWLOHA is about. TWLOHA is about connecting the dots so people can hang out and be real.” The core of Tworkowski and Hobgood goes much deeper than this introduction encompasses. That’s why Risen took time to talk individually with these guys to capture the essence of their hearts. risenmagazine.com 27
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A Moment that Lead to A Movement: Meet To Write Love On Her Arms Founder
Jamie Tworkowski
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photographer: Allister Ann
t was meant to be a short story to help someone in need. And although Jamie Tworkowski loves to write, he couldn’t have predicted that his words about a self-destructive girl on drugs that he met through a mutual friend, and spent five days with in the Spring of 2006, would produce life-changing results. Real results that not only transformed her life, but changed his life as well. Tworkowski used his gift of storytelling to share what took place during a week of detox with Renee, in hopes that the rehab center would finally accept her for treatment. Titled, To Write Love On Her Arms, Tworkowski uploaded the article on Myspace. The following words along with the rest of the piece resonated with many suffering people: “She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She’s had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn’t have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.” Tworkowski recognized the need for those hurting to feel loved and have hope. Hope in the fact that they are not alone and the belief that a better life is possible. To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) became more than a story; it became a movement. That in turn led Tworkowski to establish an organization of the same name to reach out to others. Risen recently sat down with this founder who has much to say about the stigmas surrounding mental health, addictions, faith, friendships and family. And he’s quick to share about the vision of an organization leading a conversation so few are willing to have.
Interviewed Exclusively for Risen Magazine at the U.S. Open of Surfing in Huntington Beach, California
Risen Magazine: When you wrote the story about Renee and asked, “What would you say if this story had an audience?” I couldn’t help but wonder if it was at that point you realized you were being prepped for something much bigger than this single story. Jamie Tworkowski: I think it was really simple. It was just an idea that I wanted to write about and share. I was starting to realize that I enjoyed writing and for me it’s always been all or nothing, and in that moment I felt like I had to write, I felt like I had to tell this story. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, and certainly didn’t know it would lead to where it has. I didn’t have a platform at that time. I had just written the story and Renee was in rehab and I knew that we wouldn’t have any communication with her for the first 30 days, but I started to realize her treatment was going to cost money. I was at a Coldplay concert in Orlando and somehow walked out of the show and decided to make a Myspace page to give the story a home as well as print and sell T-shirts to raise money for her treatment. Everything really changed with Jon [Foreman, Lead Singer] wore the T-shirt at his Switchfoot show. He didn’t even give out the web address; he just mentioned it from stage and people found their way to the page. Instantly people started
to write in with questions and saying the story we were telling was their story, they had lost someone to suicide, they had a family member dealing with addiction, and really that is still true today. Those are the same stories people share, we still get the same questions, and it just snowballed. The guys in [the band] Anberlin started wearing the shirts, and then we started to connect with other bands and people with this unique amount of influence. So much of it has been people sharing with others – like kids at school, people at work, strangers at airports saying, “Hey what does your shirt mean?” RM: Now it’s more than a moment and an actual movement, did you think it would ever get to this point, and so quickly? JT: I don’t think I ever knew what the next year would look like -- there certainly wasn’t a Five-Year plan. So much of the story has been these really surprisingly open doors. From the very beginning when Jon Foreman was literally the first person to wear one of these T-shirts, to being invited to be part of the Vans Warped Tour, to getting a call from Hot Topic that they wanted to sell our shirts, to getting invited to speak at colleges and tour with bands and then to be here at the U.S. Open, all are surprising dots that connect and doors that open. risenmagazine.com 29
ship. A lot of that is very simple and we really believe in it. To me the stuff I hear from other people is not paralyzing; the inside of my own head is the hardest, and that’s probably true for most people.
Your life matters, your story matters; you are living a story and it’s worth fighting for...you deserve other characters in your story. RM: Is this something you always envisioned yourself doing or was there resistance at first to the idea of running what has now turned into a major non-profit? JT: Well it’s funny, my mom says that this is everything I love and everything I’ve ever learned all under one roof; that this is totally me. I’m grateful for all these things – writing and music and T-shirts, and caring about people and all the different circles we run in that don’t often overlap – to me I love the uniqueness about that. At the end of the day, it’s about these issues that people deal with. So the heart of the matter is people and it doesn’t really matter if you’re a surfer, or what music you listen to. But I definitely didn’t grow up thinking I would run a charity, or even wanting to. But I do think that is part of what’s helped because my heroes aren’t in the non-profit world. And to be fair and honest I hand off a lot of the nuts-and-bolts business stuff. It’s not the stuff I’m good at, and it frees me up to focus more on the creative and the vision, and to better use my gifts. So we’re able to lean on other people and I don’t have to pretend to be CEO-guy. RM: How to you stay emotionally invested so that the compassion is real, yet detached enough that you don’t let the brokenness manifest inside you? JT: In the beginning it was just me responding to these Myspace messages and that was overwhelming compared to now, because now it falls on a whole team. Not only our staff, but our interns – we respond to every single message, note, e-mail, all of it – so it feels a lot healthier. People assume the hardest part is hearing other people’s stories but I think for me, I’m a person who struggles with depression and so my own stuff is always a lot more difficult. You definitely hear stuff that is heartbreaking, you hear stuff where you don’t know what to say, or maybe there is a question that doesn’t have an answer, but I think what we’re in a position to do is to have hope for people. We’re not pointing to ourselves as the final solution, we’re hoping people would step into counseling, or treatment, or even step into community and friend-
RM: So then talk to me about what goes on in your own head. Have you fully worked through your depression and was that a catalyst for helping others? JT: It definitely makes it personal. And it’s not just me, there are people in my family that have struggled with depression and I think part of it was not being satisfied by a lot of the responses that I saw. Even within the church people will say, “I’ll be praying for you.” As if that is the best response someone could give. And that always felt kind of cheap to me. In some ways even at the very beginning it was an attempt to say, “I don’t have the answers to all these questions, but I think we can stay up all night with this girl [Renee] and make sure she is safe and get her food to eat, and get her into treatment.” As opposed to just saying, “Oh I’m sorry, good luck with that.” It’s something people don’t really talk about and a lot of times that is true in the church, and almost any circle. But hopefully that’s starting to change. We see evidence of that and we get to be part of that as well, which I love. We get invited to talk about these things. RM: Do you think stigmas around mental health are changing? If you were diabetic, you wouldn’t think twice about taking insulin shots, and most people would support that decision. But if you suffer from depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, society passes a completely different judgment on treatment and medication. JT: We definitely talk about that. Even within the church. If someone broke their arm we wouldn’t just pray for them. It’s almost laughable because it’s so absurd. You could pray, but hopefully it’s in the ambulance on the way to the get the arm fixed. When it comes to mental health and addiction, sometimes we don’t treat it the same. But for me personally, I’d never been to counseling until a few years ago and so for me walking through my own story over the past few years, I’ve kind of had to take my own advice, or our [TWLOHA] own advice. I’d gotten really comfortable encouraging people to take those steps, but I’d never taken them in my own life and I think that’s been a really healthy thing. Some of that was learned the hard way. Flying around and driving around talking about community a lot but not really having that; just coming to a place of having to put a hand up and say, “Hey I need some help. I need to talk to someone.” So I’ve had a couple different seasons of counseling and now I’ve been on anti-depressants for the last year and a half to two years. I share that when I speak at a school because I feel like I get to share that, not just for pity, but I’m thankful for those tools and that I’ve been able to take those steps in my own life. But at the same time, I’ve had to walk through it and understand it’s a scary thing to walk into that first meeting or to sit with a psychiatrist and that’s a vulnerable thing that’s really hard for a lot of people. RM: I loved the sentence in your initial story you wrote about Renee that said, “Tell her something true when all she’s known are lies. Tell her God loves her.” What role do you think faith plays in the recovery process? JT: I think for everyone faith is the lens we see the world through. We have a friend who is a counselor and would consider himself a follower of Jesus and he would say the church definitely doesn’t have the market cornered when it comes to helping people. Obviously when you look at the 12-step program there is the language of a higher power and for a lot of people I think that is God or what God means to them, but I think people define or explain hope and God in different ways. I come back to that a lot. Everyone has faith in something.
Speaking at Washington State University
RM: Depression, addiction, suicide…for way too many people, this is the reality they live in. But TWLOHA offers hope. What is the message you bring to those searching? JT: I think the biggest thing is just to encourage people not to be alone. So often these things are born out of secrets or shame and they live that way and stay that way, and a lot of people feel very much alone when it comes to their struggles and their pain. Just trying to push back at some of those lies and letting people know that it is part of being human and that we all need other people. I think everyone needs and deserves a support system. And beyond that if things are too difficult or intense for friends, then we believe in professionals. We believe in counseling and treatment. I think sometimes I’m surprised by the simplicity of it. We haven’t invented anything. We didn’t come up with hope. All the ideas we are communicating are incredibly simple. I think we just believe that they are true and try to communicate in a way that meets people where they are and relates to them. The church is known for its answers, they tell people how to think and how to vote, and how to live and what’s right and what’s wrong, and for us we really feel called to meet people in their questions. Just to tell them that the questions matter. I believe the questions matter to God, but regardless of where people land with that, I think we can say the questions should matter to us and other people. So we don’t feel any pressure to be a one-stop shop in terms of giving people every answer. I love the idea of saying, “ Your life matters; your story matters; you are living a story and it’s worth fighting for and you deserve other people who meet you in that. You deserve other characters in your story.” And it’s such a privilege to get to say those things. I think there is something about truth that is compelling and speaks to people and you can’t really figure out why or when, but we’ve seen it touch people. RM: How has your personal faith shaped your decisions and they way you choose to live life?
JT: I grew up in the church. I grew up with incredibly loving parents. I was a sensitive kid who was always sort of on the outskirts. I got along with everybody, but kind of bounced around. I had a heart for people and I think a lot of that came from my parents. I always grew up with this belief and understanding that there was this God that loved people and we were made to know him and to know each other. I was super involved in Young Life growing up as a student, and then as a leader; I went to camp every summer. I always wanted to communicate in a way that everyone could understand so part of Christian culture felt strange to me with the language and kind of this world unto itself. That was kind of uncomfortable for me and still is. I think more and more I gravitate toward not wanting to be preachy, not wanting to have all the answers but believing in a God that is not afraid of our questions and a God that really cares deeply about people’s pain. I think we lose sight of that and a lot of people grow up thinking, “Hey, become a Christian and you’ll be happy and you’ll be healthy and you’ll have money”. All this stuff that I don’t think is true. When you look at all that happens on this planet like Japan, and Haiti, and the news, and all the stuff we hear at TWLOHA, there are some really enormous questions that people live with. I always wanted to be respectful of that and not offer things that were cheap or small in response. I think at times, even in different ways – not trying to walk away – but to whatever degree I would let go, I couldn’t escape this feeling that there’s a God who loves me and loves people and there’s a way things are supposed to be. There is a bigger story and a bigger picture. RM: The bigger picture includes your family and some of your family members are involved with you at TWLOHA, so what is it like all working together? JT: Yes both of my sisters and my mom. My dad is pissed he doesn’t have a job. [Laughter!] My dad likes to tell people he’s our best volunteer and I don’t argue with that. There are times, especially with my mom, when I’m like, risenmagazine.com 31
Photo: Andy Barron
“Hey I just want you to be my mom;” Especially if it’s at night or on a weekend. And she’s funny, there is always this disclaimer like, “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but we have to.” But it’s great. She’s amazing. My sister Jessica really runs the day-to-day – the office, the team, the finances. So I give her a ton of credit. She’s super gifted in ways that I’m not. And then my youngest sister does a lot on the road. She comes with me when I speak and helps talk to people and a lot of it is just for me not to be alone and have someone with me. So that’s been something I’m really thankful for. Obviously working with family presents some challenges because you end up having difficult conversations with people you love, but at the same time you get to work with people that you love and trust and respect. They really understand me and how I’m wired and I think the good outweighs the bad for sure. RM: You’ve had several key friends step up and get involved with TWLOHA including Pro Surfer C.J. Hobgood. I understand the two of you went to school together. What was that relationship like and what does it mean all these years later to have his support? JT: I grew up competing as an amateur surfer and had sponsors and stuff and the first contest I ever surfed in, the first heat of that contest, I was against C.J. and his twin brother [Damien, also a pro surfer], so I didn’t do very well. It was always clear from an early age that they were headed for this [US Open of Surfing]. We were friends in high school and I would stay at their house, and we were buddies, but we’ve definitely gotten closer in the last few years. I think C.J. would share this with you, but he was going through a divorce a few years ago and that is when our friendship really went to a different level. I think we would both say we are one of each others’ best friends now. And it’s funny because a lot of that has happened in strange places – like France and Australia. Just because he’s been really generous and gracious and when he’s been competing he’s invited me to stay with him for a couple of weeks. We’ve just walked through each others struggles and stories and have been a source of encouragement for each other. We’re good at rooting for each other. In December I got a call from him when he was without a major sponsor. He called me and said. “Hey I want to wear your stuff. I want to wear, To Write Love On Her Arms, I want to put stickers on my board.” And that’s huge. In this [surfing] world there are guys that get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for that. Not only on a big scale, but in the industry and the guys he competes against, everyone asks him, “Hey what does that shirt mean? What is that sticker?” So as someone who grew up surfing and loves that world, and came from that world, it means a lot to know that pretty much all the best guys in the sport are aware of it. And the cool thing is you never know where that may lead…or for whom it might be personal. RM: Speaking of celebrities and their images and such, bad behavior and addictions are nothing new to that realm, but with heightened coverage and access to the stars, do you think their struggles bring more awareness to destructive issues or glamorize the vices? JT: I think it can do both. I think so often those people are talked about as if they aren’t human. There are people who made Amy Winehouse jokes when a photo would show up and she obviously wasn’t doing well. And now she’s gone and it looks like addiction probably was the reason and all of a sudden she was very human and people are compassionate. I think we definitely want to take the stance that these [celebrities] are people. This is somebody’s son, this is somebody’s daughter, and this is a real person. They have a unique amount of attention, maybe they have unique talents, but this is a person.
We’re not pointing to ourselves as the final solution, we’re hoping people would step into counseling, or treatment, or even step into community and friendship. I think whatever they do, good or bad, they have a platform. I think it’s an opportunity to show addiction is real; it kills people, ruins lives, and destroys families. It’s sad what it takes for people to wake up or think about that. RM: How can people help and what’s next for TWLOHA? JT: To me it’s always been more of a creative project so I’ve always shied away from the Five-Year plan because there wasn’t one. My hope is pretty broad, that we’ll continue to be creative and hopefully brave in bringing this message of hope and health to people. That we’ll continue to run in all these circles, and I think the internet will always be home base for us since it allows us to communicate with people all over the world. And obviously so many doors have opened with music, and for me personally so many doors have opened on college campuses. My hope is that it all will continue. For me the pet project is the surfing stuff and it’s really C.J. and I daydreaming about how do we bring this message to this community we care about.There’s also a section of our website called MOVE specifically for how people can get involved. It’s everything from buying a T-shirt to moving to Florida and joining our team.
For more information visit: www.TWLOHA.com risenmagazine.com 33
Riding the Waves Offers Challenge and Opportunity For Pro
C.J. Hobgood Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photographer: Allister Ann
.J. Hobgood didn’t waste any time making a name for himself in the surfing world. In 1999, he was the Association of Surfing Professionals (ASP) World Tour Rookie of the Year; a short two years later he became ASP World Tour Champion. In 2007, he was still at the top of the sport winning the U.S. Open of Surfing. Risen was able to catch up with the superstar in between heats at the 2011 U.S. Open of Surfing to talk about competition, criticism, and how he and a high school friend are sharing an unexpected dream.
Interviewed Exclusively for Risen Magazine at the U.S. Open of Surfing in Huntington Beach, California
Risen Magazine: You have a twin brother, Damien, who is also a pro surfer… what was your relationship like growing up? Were you competitive with each other, best friends? C.J. Hobgood: Because he’s my twin brother, we had similar likings to everything. There were times when we were kind of at each other’s throats and competitive with each other. We had to work to be different, but had similar interests so it led to some friction, but we were able to keep it healthy. RM: What is your relationship like now, as adults? CJH: Completely different. He has a family, he has his priorities, and he lives on the West Coast. I have my family, my priorities and I live on the East Coast. We really only hang out when we’re on the road and competing and it’s actually a good balance. We’re focusing on the same job. It just works. RM: When did you know you wanted to make surfing your career, and then when did you actually realize it was possible to live your dream? CJH: The idea has always been in my life, not necessarily to surf for a living, but that whatever job I would have, I needed to be able to surf. I think that was the first seed that was planted. Obviously, the fastest, easiest route is to become a pro-surfer. I remember one time, I was 17 years old, and the best surfers in the world that were my age, and in my mind were really making it big making it big… and I thought, “I’m similar to their caliber of talent. There are only a handful of us [that can surf professionally] and I think I’m one of those people. I think I can pull this off.” I didn’t know exactly what that looked like, but I thought, “I can pull it off enough to have people give me the opportunity to do it.” RM: You certainly could, because fast-forward and you become Champ of the U.S. Open of Surfing (2007), amongst numerous other wins and titles. What goes through your mind during competitions?
CJH: Surfing competitively is interesting. I’ve been doing it for 10-12 years now so it’s changed a little bit, but you always have to remember every time you show up to compete that you are trying to hit a moving target. It’s never; this is what worked for me last week, so this is what will work for me this week. You’re dealing with the ocean, different boards, and a lot of things out of your control. So you find the things you can control and make sure you do your homework with them like being on the right surfboards for the right conditions. As much as you make a game plan, the balance is you’re still free styling, you’re still thinking outside the box… and then trying to let go of the result of winning and losing. It’s really putting all those in the blender and hitting blend. Obviously you get a rush from competing, and ever since I was the littlest kid before competition I had trouble sleeping. It stirs up these things – butterflies or nervousness or what – but I’ve always thought these feelings are super-duper healthy. [It’s] the adrenaline. I’ve always told myself those things are going to help me compete better. I still have those today and obviously when those feeling go away, I need to stop. RM: In regards to competition with the other pro surfers like Kelly Slater or Taj Burrow… how does that work? Are you friendly with each other, or do you keep it pretty professional? CJH: The surf community is a small family. You’re competing most every week, so it doesn’t do you any good to not be friends. Everyone is pretty friendly. Taj and I have been competing for 12-14 years against each other. For example there was a premiere last night and we hung out and had a good time, but we knew we have a heat against each other today. [Laughing] We are able to be fiercely competitive against each other because the respect factor is there. Trust and respect are crucial.
RM: It seems like the lifestyle would be difficult for relationships and to weather the constant judgment of others. How do you know criticism is constructive or when it is just noise? CJH: Relationships are hard and I think a lot of surfers question their choice. I’m comfortable with myself and I understand the big picture. Plus, I kind of thrive off people not talking me up. Every time you surf someone is judging you. It’s so interesting now especially with the kids growing up in this culture with anyone being able to write anything about you and judge you. Not all surfers can handle that or want that constant judgment. You have to grow up real quick and take it for what it is. RM: It seems like you have a good head about it. What helps you stay so grounded? CJH: I feel like I just have a foundation of how things work, it’s my faith. I understand how things work when I read the Bible and then see it become true in my life. Of course I have days where I drop the f-bomb and get frustrated, but I still have a peace and understanding through my faith. At the end of the day, I just want to surf well. RM: Do you think of yourself as a role model to others and then in turn does that affect the choices you make or your behavior? CJH: In any walk of life there is a responsibility factor. I don’t feel like I necessarily have a bigger responsibility because of my influence. I feel everybody has responsibility. The biggest thing is to treat everyone with respect whether they are a friend or an enemy. RM: Speaking of friends, you went to high school with Jamie Tworkowski [Founder, To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA)], what were you two like at that age? CJH: In high school, we both had passion for surfing. We had the same friends and the same understanding. As time ticked by, it became more of a reality for me to go pro in surfing and Jamie was realizing he’d need to pursue other options within the surf context. RM: Jamie went on to found, TWLOHA and you’ve been able to be a part of that process as well and now have his organization as one of your sponsors. How has this impacted you? CJH: What means the most to me is watching TWLOHA grow. I was there when Jamie wrote the story, when he made his first shirt. I was there through all the communication and to see where it is now is fun for me to watch. The sacrifice he puts into TWLOHA, and what he does can be so draining because he gives and gives, and gives. I can help him charge back up. It’s been tough, but I can understand – and a lot of times I can understand without even speaking any words. We find comfort in each other because we both know where each other is at; we are in the same place in our lives. We used to talk about if I could pick a sponsor I’d want to rock TWLOHA and that would be great because it would be different. It wouldn’t be a job to promote it; it would be what I would believe in and want to be a part of…it would be a dream. Our friendship is effortless and we are just there for each other when we need to be. He’s one of my closest friends.
I feel like I just have a foundation of how things work, it’s my faith. I understand how things work when I read the Bible and then see it become true in my life. with. I’d think it must be pretty hard to find peers with solid character in the surf community with the constant partying and alcohol and drug messaging that appears to be greatly accepted. Is this just the perception or do you think there needs to be some accountability within the sport? CJH: That lifestyle is a reality and we definitely deal with it in surfing. It’s a very real thing that I do think needs to be addressed. The [partying] behavior is almost encouraged, and there aren’t any ramifications for the behavior. There isn’t drug testing like in the other sports. I think the surf community needs a wake-up call. I don’t think we’re there yet as an industry, but if by TWLOHA being part of the tour, if that can bring some truth, then I think that’s a great start. RM: Reflecting on your career so far, what has stood out to you most? CJH: I’d say the key relationships that I’ve made. I still don’t feel like I’ve made it… not until I’m retired and have time to reflect on my career will I be able to pinpoint the highlights. I don’t love winning because I like to win; I love winning because I hate losing so much! I love surfing and I like competing. Even when I don’t win, I think everything happens for a reason and there must be something bigger in the future.
RM: It’s special to be able to have a friend you can confide in and do life risenmagazine.com 37
38 Risen Magazine
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photos: IFC Films
uck Brannaman, the inspiration behind the book and film, The Horse Whisperer, is recognized worldwide for his uncanny abilities to communicate and train horses, often in a matter of minutes. A childhood with an abusive father left Brannaman determined to take a different path than the one of violence he had experienced. Utilizing leadership and sensitivity, he developed communication methods to transform horses (and ultimately people) through compassion and respect. The subject of an awardwinning documentary aptly titled Buck, the film progresses through Brannaman’s life and the influences of his training on horses. Risen recently sat down with the legendary horse whisperer for a glimpse of what makes this man so special.
Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California
Risen Magazine: Horse relationships can tell you a lot about human relationships and if everyone would be as intentional about meeting needs, and interaction with their family and friends as they are about animal behavior, communication might be better for all involved. How do you help people get to this point? Buck Brannaman: How many times in your life have you had someone impose their will on you to make you do something? Even if it was a good thing, in the end, we’re not apt to do it because we’re going to protect ourselves; we’re going to feel defensive. If someone had approached you in a way that they set things up to where their idea became yours, as if you came up with it, [we] could hardly stop you from doing it. You’re trying to figure out how to make a winner out of the horse and when your idea becomes his, you’re just along for the ride. You let the horse feel good about himself. That isn’t any different with kids. There is a time and a place for you to say, “No.” And it’s not, “Maybe.” It’s “No.” It’s not even open to discussion. You don’t just say “No.” You say, “No, but instead, maybe you could do this.” You have to give them options, but tell them what they are prohibited from doing. You show them what they could do, and how good it might feel once they do it. When it comes to horses, you always hold what they treasure most and that’s peace and comfort. That’s all [a horse] wants. You might be putting physical pressure on the horse to get him to do a certain thing, but he doesn’t learn from that pressure, he learns from the relief. You’re giving him that release – no pressure, no trouble. The horse will always want to trade for that. If he understands through all of these things he tries to do for you that he’s going to get this relief and comfort from you, he’ll never stop trying. RM: That’s good, because isn’t that what every person would trade for? Peace, hope, and trust. BB: That’s what we’re all looking for really.
RM: Did these principles help you when it came to raising your daughter? BB: Absolutely. The comparison to my dad, he was a bad man; he was not a good person. I had a good idea of what I didn’t want to be as a father, from him. And for years, before I had any kids, I would tell people; this is the same when you’re approaching human beings in relationships. RM: You mentioned your dad and in the film we see that he’s abusive and pretty violent with you and your brother. When you were exploring that part of your childhood how does it make you feel now? Do you feel like you’ve healed? BB: It wasn’t a hard decision to include it in the documentary because of the fact that I’ve found over the years that people need to know those things about me to know that I’ve had an imperfect life, I’ve had some dark things happen to me, and that I’m as vulnerable as anyone else. With that, people tend to open up and share a little more about themselves and it gives me a starting place to where I might be able to help them with their situation. It became very disarming to use those things about my own life. I had been doing this in small doses for years and that’s sort of what touched the heart of Cindy [Meehl – director] and made her want to do this documentary. She felt there were a lot of messages in there that would apply to people that weren’t necessarily horse owners or livestock people. There is a certain kinship among human beings that we’re all trying to figure this out and have as good of a life as we can. RM: What advice would you give to someone that might have been or currently is in an abusive situation? BB: For years it’s just sort of been conventional wisdom that if you come from such a dark past you don’t have a very bright future and you’re probably going to follow the same path as your tormentors. And that’s simply not true. I’m not the only person that’s risen above these kinds of circumstances. The ones you hear the most about are the ones that make the news doing horrisenmagazine.com 39
rible things to others. Immediately everybody thinks, “I wonder what his parents were like?” You have to have it explained away and sometimes there is no explanation. To me the biggest point to it is, even though my childhood was taken from me, and once that’s taken you can never get that back, that’s gone forever, that no matter what happened, what they can’t take from you, is your free will. The opportunity is that you’re going to be met with some point in your life to make the right decision, so what are you going to go with? There is a point in everybody’s life when you can no longer blame someone else, no longer blame your mom or your dad, or whoever raised you or brought you up, you have to own it. Some might get a free pass for awhile so I don’t know what that age is, because it’s different for every person…but there is a point where you have to make a decision, “Which direction am I going to go with this?” RM: Did your foster parents help frame that mindset, was there a faith element you found, or just working with the horses – how did you come to this realization? BB: All of those. First of all it was the horses because they were my refuge. That’s where I went to hide and that seemed to be for a period of time the only friends I had in the whole world. And then as I slowly grew closer to my foster parents; of course Betsy [foster mom] was such a great influence on me and obviously there was a great spiritual connection. I figure if any40 Risen Magazine
body’s got a hotline to God, she probably does. And that was a great influence to me in learning things about forgiveness. I think all those things fell into place at just the right time where it helped to guide me into making the right decisions. RM: What is it about horses, why do you favor them so much over other animals? BB: Horses are so honest. If you basically feel like you can approach any horse and find a way, where given a little bit of time, he’ll want to be around you and he’ll choose you, then something in you just changes. It’s a very special relationship. Dogs have an unconditional love, and horses don’t have that, they are very choosy. If you betray a horse, he’ll never forget. Horses don’t have greed, and spite and hate and jealousy, or prejudices – they don’t have that. And if you think about that in terms of people, the least desirable people that we know, and we all know people like that, are ones that possess great quantities of those [characteristics] I just mentioned.
Buck Brannanman is often referred to as a true American cowboy. He travels the county to help people better understand their horses and horses better respond to their people. He sums it up best when he says, “ Your horse is a mirror to your soul, and sometimes you may not like what you see. Sometimes you will.”
42 Risen Magazine
Take a Walk with
Paul Wright
Writer: Kelli Gillespie | Photos: Athena Delne
ombining influences of reggae, rap and hip-hop, Paul Wright uses his music to encourage and inspire people. His lyrics allow listeners to reflect on their lives but at the same time tell a story. Some are serious; some are light and fun, like Burrito Boy. But whatever the journey, this passionate songwriter sums it best when he says he “just wants to provide a soundtrack for your walk.”
Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in Rancho Santa Fe, California.
Risen Magazine: What was your family like growing up? Were they musical? Where did your love of music come from? Paul Wright: I have a really supportive family. My mom was a music teacher and my sister, who is about three-and-half years older than me, is a music teacher too, in Hawaii. She was more musical than me growing up. They would be playing piano and singing songs…I didn’t really like to sing. I was a little too shy to sing. I grew up in that kind of house, very supportive. My mom bought me my first keyboard and she also had guitars around the house. My father was a drama director, so I grew up watching his productions. I run ideas off of him. I was just working on the new bio for our band, and my dad totally helped me because he’s also an English teacher. RM: Was there a specific point in your life where you decided you wanted to turn music into a career and realized it might be your calling? PW: I think I really received the calling when I was 12. It was one of those times God became more evident. Music was instrumental for me in coming to understand God more. I think because I was inspired in that way I wanted to also inspire others. That was really the focus and drive when I first began in seventh grade. TobyMac and dcTalk were huge and actually there is a rap that Toby had… ‘R-A-P, talk is my tool, my gift to use, R-A-P to spread the news, that God may know your part, tell the world what’s on your heart.’ As a 12-yearold I took that literally. It was pretty cool when it came full circle for him [TobyMac] to get a vision for my tunes. It was one of those moments where you say, “Ok God I see how you’ve orchestrated this.” I think with every musician, when they are independent and on their own, they are looking for the opportunity to get their songs out there to a bigger audience. RM: Did you grow up with faith? Was there a defining moment? PW: My parents took me to church growing up, but it felt very traditional; I didn’t really feel connected. It became more personal when I was 12 through the crusade (Billy Graham) and through bands like dcTalk. I was kind of the prankster and I love pulling jokes and pranks, so there was that part of me
that would still do that. But as far as any changes in my character, my parents would say my anger… there were times I would get angry and frustrated playing cards, like Old Maid. I would have Old Maid and would be so mad I’d throw the table. I think that would be the biggest character change. I don’t know what’d you call that… but now I control anger better and don’t get mad at Old Maid [laughs]. RM: Your music has influences of reggae, rap and hip-hop. Where does your sound come from? PW: I think my foundation when I first started writing was from a hip-hop producer perspective; like sequencing beats and instrumentals, then writing raps and hooks over it. I had friends in high school that were more in rock music and they taught me how to play guitar. In college everyone is playing guitar, so I played a lot in college. Going to Hawaii opened my eyes to reggae music, and the island culture there, and the way they approach music. It’s very positive. The reason why I do music is to encourage and inspire people and that kind of music is a great soundtrack and backdrop to those lyrics and that message. RM: If your focus is to encourage and inspire others, who or what encourages and inspires you? PW: That’s a good question. It’s funny I was talking to my friend who’s a landscaper in Santa Cruz [California] and he was talking about the roots of a tree… I wish he were here to explain it [laughs]. There are these things that grow on the roots to help them absorb the nutrients from the soil like those people in my life that encourage me or inspire me and give me confidence and hope that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Traveling and meeting new people is very engaging and inspiring along with seeing new places, especially beautiful places like Hawaii and San Diego. Also I’m inspired by motivational speakers like Joel Osteen, sometimes I’ll listen to him, and he’s just so positive. risenmagazine.com 43
RM: In order to achieve goals, focus is required along with hard work. Who was the catalyst for your success? PW: I have had this internal drive since I was 12. People have definitely encouraged it; they have encouraged it by giving me a platform for that gift. My youth pastor growing up was really encouraging too. The first time I ever played, I was 14 or 15 and did Awesome God with a buddy of mine. My buddy would beat-box and I would rap – kind of dcTalk style. Back then I had no idea how things worked in the industry, I was thinking helicopters and limos, but he was super encouraging and always let us play. I still go back and do a fundraiser every year for their Mexico trip. I’m just encouraged because I am doing it, it’s just not on the scale that I envisioned it, yet. RM: Your music was featured in the soundtrack for the movie To Save a Life. How did that come about? PW: It was really cool. The songs used were the ones I wrote while in San Diego. That PB song… I wrestled with it. Just like your magazine, the song isn’t necessarily Christian. That record was really kind of more of a narrative approach and a concept record as opposed to songs directed towards my faith, although there is faith in the story. The song PB talks about partying, and taking shots, and I don’t want that to be my banner or message, but it’s one of those things where you don’t want to be judged based on some lyrics in one song. Playing in a lot of churches growing up, you wonder, “How is that going to be interpreted?” And if younger people hear, then what is that going to do to them? It’s so cool because that song was used in the movie and I was just reminded that God is so much bigger than me. Why am I trying to control what is going to happen to this song? He’s going to work it out for the good. That brought a peace to me. God is bigger; it was a reminder that he was in control. RM: How do you feel about Christian music as a whole versus mainstream music? PW: I think as I progress in my songwriting and after playing so many shows, I’ve realized the need for conversation. I’m personally not the type of guy that would go up to a stranger and dive into faith matters; unless it was really on my heart. But I love just getting to know people and if it comes up, then that would be sweet. I love to hear where people are from and what they are doing and that’s how I approach music. I wouldn’t necessarily consider my music Christian, in the sense that I don’t really think music really is Christian, but there definitely is a need for worship music. I think that’s what Christian music is, worship music. You can sing about the light, or what you see in the light; and I’m an artist that likes to sing about what I see in the light, at the same time, singing about the light too. 44 Risen Magazine
I love to hear where people are from and what they are doing and that’s how I approach music. RM: Explain how the band Rootdown came about? PW: It started out as the backing-band for my solo stuff and it’s progressed into the four of us as a group. We play at churches, we do fundraisers for mission trips, and we play at breweries… we play everywhere. I think when we first started I was a little bit nervous because I had grown up playing on a Christian record label, so I played mostly at Christian music festivals. The last two years there has been so much growth in me as a songwriter and as a person. RM: What would you say has been your career highlight up to this point? PW: This new record… I’m excited because I think it’s a pretty accurate reflection of where we are as a band and our beliefs. We tested a lot of these songs out live and we played at over 50 colleges this past year. A lot of these songs were written live. In Huntington Beach we were playing at a pub on Main Street by the pier – and those aren’t my favorite gigs because they are so long – but they can be a lot of fun. We ran out of material so we just came up with a song on the fly. And we actually called it HB. It was the best song in the set. Improv is a big part of our band. I think the best is yet to come. RM: With the best yet to come, what do you hope that future looks like? PW: I hope that our music gets out to more people. I’ve been doing this for eight or nine years full time, being under the radar. I love it and it’s a blessing to do. But I feel like I’m a referee with a basketball at tip-off; at the beginning of a game and I want to take our music and put it up there and see where it can go. Especially with our live show too, it’s so exciting when people leave and they are happy, it’s so encouraging. Regardless of where people are in life I think they feel hope. I’d like to see that on a bigger scale and it could be cool to tour with bigger bands and have songs on the radio. RM: What advice would you give to someone who wants to pursue their calling, but aren’t really sure about their skills or opportunities? PW: If they know what they want to do, and it’s just a matter of having the confidence to go for it… then take baby steps. They are the only ones holding themselves back. Especially if they are creative in their calling, sometimes we are the most critical of ourselves. I would say surround yourself with people that are positive, but truthful. Someone mixed with Simon, Randy and Paula [American Idol Judges], all in one person [laughs].
Photo: Mike Carruth, bmxnews.com
From Prison to a Professional BMX Rider:
Tony Hoffman
is Using His Bike to Bring Ultimate Change Writer: Nikki Jimenez
acing is what professional BMX riders do best. But in a race against the destruction of drugs and living on the street, can racers pedal fast enough on their own accord? Professional BMX rider, Tony Hoffman, shares with Risen how he ultimately found himself alive and inspired. Here he shares his story from the raw details of the drugs he used, to the eye-opening lessons he’s learned about his higher calling.
Interviewed exclusively for Risen Magazine in San Diego, California
Risen Magazine: BMX riding is a huge part of your daily life now. How did you get started at a young age? Tony Hoffman: If you ask any of the professionals, I was a late bloomer beginning to ride around age 12. I started off with rollerblades and was really into the whole aggressive inline thing – riding on the handrails and stuff. I was so focused on my rollerblading and getting better, that I didn’t feel like that crowd was influencing me; but my parents thought otherwise. I was being a punk kid at the time and even though I never did drugs, a kid in my guitar class introduced me to marijuana and I got busted for selling it. My brother was already BMX racing so they said, “ You’re going to have to start coming with us.” I went to a race outside of Fresno, and my dad said, “There’s your classroom right there. You don’t think you can beat those guys? I said, “ Yeah, I can beat those guys.” I’ve always been one to take on challenges and BMX riding was something that seemed like a good challenge. I started riding and next thing you know, I’m riding all the time. My brother and I were racing locally three to four times a week. RM: The BMX lifestyle can be dangerous physically, emotionally and spiritually. How do you think you perceived that culture as a 12 year old? TH: I don’t think I was really able to manifest what was going on other than I saw a guy on the track and I liked the way he rode, and he was somebody I wanted to be like. I wanted to go over a jump like he did or take a gauge start like he could. Yeah, there were those who were blatant about drinking in the tent, but for the most part at 12, I don’t think I could make sense of any of it. I don’t think that matters because if you look up to somebody and their image, and you don’t know what they’re doing, you’re still following through that tunnel to whatever message they’re carrying. You’re on your way to that image, good or bad. RM: That lifestyle seems to be a contrast with what’s on your website. There’s
the motto: Truth. Inspiration. BMX. Those aren’t traits one would naturally associate together, so how did you come to embrace this? TH: It was a long process. Even at 12 years old, I looked up to Dennis Rodman and Charles Barkley. In front of the media they were cocky, over confident, and I was already taking on that persona of just me, me, me, me-selfish. The bike kept me on the straight and narrow, but as I got older, my will not to drink and use drugs got set aside. I was 18, hadn’t been drunk or smoked up until that time, but then started associating myself with the wrong crowd. Eventually, I used drugs for five to six years, had been to rehab, and had been to jail once. I was on probation and at that point, was injecting methamphetamines, heroine, smoking crack, and abusing oxycontin… which ultimately led to the street. When you’re sleeping on the street and walking the streets alone, it’s a place where you can’t share the pain, because you know why you’re there. You’re engulfed in guilt, shame, self-pity, all of these negative energies that choke you – kind of like a snake, a boa constrictor that would constrict you until you would explode. At that point, I figured I was going to die. That my life was over and there was nothing else that was going to come; and you almost accept it. I didn’t ask for a second chance, but I knew I was alive and I shouldn’t be. More people have overdosed than have gotten clean. Yet here I am, the worst of all the users I knew, and I’m alive. There was that inspiration of finding myself and who I was within my relationship with God. I was realizing that I had a bike that I was more than talented on. I’d done great things in a short period of time from intermediate through high school, and that’s when Truth, Inspiration, BMX came about. RM: Wow, that’s amazing, and what an awesome 180-degree turn! Who introduced you to God? TH: The day before I was arrested, I was invited to church from a drug connection from the west side of town. I tell people that God revealed himself risenmagazine.com 47
I need direction. If you just point your finger, where to go, I’ll go there and I’ll never look back. From that point on, it was letting God rebuild everything that I had destroyed on my own. to Moses through a bush, so why couldn’t he use a drug dealer to help reveal himself to me? And that’s exactly what he did. I was invited to church and I needed that person to invite me because I hung out and bought my drugs on that side of town. I felt comfortable with those people and felt like I could trust those people more than the people in the area of more money where I came from. So when he invited me I was willing to go and I was ready because [I was] homeless and didn’t have clothes [at that time.] The pastor laid his hands on me and told me that God had favored me my whole life and everything I had done. A lot of emotion came over me because he didn’t know who I was and the guy from the west side didn’t know anything about me either, just that I brought money over and exchanged hands. [The pastor] told me that I didn’t have to worry anymore, that God would remove me from my addiction. Twenty-four hours later, I was arrested and yet my heart was saying, “I believe, I believe, I believe, this is real, this is real.” RM: How did your relationship with God grow while you were in prison? TH: In my first day of prison I was really scared. I had a skinhead cellmate – swastikas, white power – he was an alright guy. He had shown me this shank and said that if there was a problem, he was going to stick me with it. And if I had a problem, I would do the same. But I had already started reading through my Bible and I asked [God], “I need direction. If you just point your finger, where to go, I’ll go there and I’ll never look back.” From that point on, it was letting God rebuild everything that I had destroyed on my own. A few weeks into my prison sentence at Avenal State Prison, I also met Toby Wade. At that point in my walk with God I was very new to the Bible and spent a lot of time reading, but always had questions. I noticed this gentleman who always sat at the front of the chairs inside the dorm, with headphones on, smiling and dancing, and reading the Bible. After about two weeks I figured, “Shoot, this guy seems to be reading all the time, surely he can answer the questions I have.” So I started asking him question after question. One day, I was lying on my bunk and Toby came over and told me, “Hey, come on let’s go.” I asked him, “Where are we going? He replied, “To study.” From that
day forward, we studied everyday for 11 months. He became my spiritual mentor by guiding me through God’s word, teaching me to rightfully divide it. He did everything in his power to make sure that when I exited prison I understood the importance of God’s calling in my life. He used to say, “ Young Timothy, you must be prepared! You are about to take on the weight of children around your community on your shoulders.” Toby and I still talk on a weekly basis. He is serving a life sentence, but has the possibility of parole and I believe with all my heart he will be set free shortly. I’ve never met a man that went to the lengths that he has to help me. He is someone I consider more than a friend. RM: How did your bike fit into the picture of what you were learning from God? TH: A couple of days into [prison], it was like, Boom. Light switch. Bike. I never wanted to be on the bike. But my dad said when I got out, why don’t I ride my bike? I said no, but it was totally a divine idea of what I needed to do. I spent 23-and-a-half months in prison and seven years off the bike. Four months later, in my first race, I won third place and went pro. Four months in [back to riding] I went pro to the highest level. Moses had a stick. Samson had his hair. John the Baptist had his sandals. I have my bike. It’s going to be there until God calls me out of the bike; and eventually he will. I can’t ride a bike at 70, and probably not even at 40. He’ll call me out of that. But I know that if I go this direction now, things are going to open up and I’m going to be taken care of. RM: In what ways are you continuing in that direction? TH: On a bike, the free wheel is the part that allows the wheel to spin freely when you stop pedaling. As human beings, we also have free will to make the right decision or wrong decision. In the beginning, I always thought the bike thing was going to be about me crossing the finish line first, holding big checks, and winning the Olympics. I started going to church [in prison] and God started speaking to me through the pastor, “It’s about the kids.” So the Freewheel Project is something designed to guide kids to make the right choice with their free will. We get these kids who come out with me on a weekly basis, some who’ve never been on a BMX track. One of my great sponsors, Haro Bikes, stepped up to donate bikes to me for the kids so we supply them with bikes and helmets. I get to speak and interact with them and then teach them how to drive. The kids love it. It was a God idea that came to me in prison and directed me in my purpose. RM: Where do you feel like you’re at now, at this stage in life? TH: You can really figure out who you are in God when you get rid of the building, the cell phone, the Internet, and everything else that distracts you from understanding this realm of energy that God has created. I’m training my mind, constantly praying and talking to God – that’s my strength. I don’t know why God wanted to choose me, but I’m one of the fortunate ones that God wants to use to help other people. I’ve had best friends who have passed away. [In BMX] there are a lot of parents and professionals who smoke and party. I’m not speaking against them. I don’t judge anybody. I’ve done what they’ve done times one hundred. I’m in the right spot because I’ve been there and God’s given me a powerful message to go in the midst of something that these kids are looking up to… images that they may not understand until later in life. I’m trying to win the hearts of kids so that they’ll take on positive messages and make positive decisions.
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Lies Versus Truth: The Consequences of Choices
THE DEBT Writer: Kelli Gillespie
l to r: John Madden, Jessica Chastain, and Sam Worthington
It’s an espionage thriller about three young Israeli Mossad agents sent to capture and take back for trial a Josef Mengele-like figure known as the maniacal Surgeon of Birkenau, who is living and working under a pseudonym in East Berlin. Titled The Debt, suspense in this movie enfolds across two different time periods. Risen talked with Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington, Jessica Chastain and director John Madden about the consequences of choices.
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Risen Magazine: All the choices people make have consequences and good or bad, those decisions will affect the future. How do you think this affects truth and perception within the confines of a family?
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RM: Sam, your character has the biggest moral dilemma. How does accepting responsibility affect David?
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Helen Mirren: Immeasurably. Most families have some secret or another that either gets revealed or doesn’t. Not of the scale necessarily that we have in this movie. Misunderstandings happen in families over many, many years; rifts appear that were cracks at the beginning and become huge caverns that you can’t reach over. I think that’s why the film has such a feeling of reality and truth about it, because you actually think this could have happened.
Sam Worthington: I think David is the most idealistic out of the three people. To him the mission is what’s paramount and nothing else. He wasn’t going to let anything break this emotional shell, and the wall that he had built up. Then when it does, he’s the one the whole world comes crashing down on. He can’t deal with anything. So, 30 years later you see what a ghost of a man he is and the burden this has given him.
RM: No one can guess what the future holds. You can take steps that will help shape who you are and where you land, but I’m sure, especially as an actor, you’re very aware of how unstable the future is and the weight your decisions hold.
Sam Worthington: Every actor feels like the last job they had was the last job they’ll ever have. Right now I am unemployed; next week I’m employed. Three weeks after that I’m unemployed. So there is always that instability. Plus you’re only as good as your last work. If you come out and you suck in it, you’re never going to get another job because it’s driven by audience’s approval. But if you get in a hit, then you might have the satisfaction that you’ll have the longevity of a year, or maybe two years. To me it’s always going to be up and down and that’s the exciting part about this job to me. 50 Risen Magazine
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RM: At the core, this film is about how individual choices shape one’s future; what do you hope is communicated?
John Madden: It’s about who you become morally, and what you are is always a very interesting topic. Somebody who is holding a cup out in the street; do you drop something into it, do you walk past and then wish you had dropped something into it, or do you say, “What are you doing on the street and why should you have my money?” What you do and don’t do becomes part of your make-up and you’re constantly evaluating that for yourself, asking what sort of person do I want to be. This film is about the accountability of your behavior, what you do, and the choices you make. I think you can translate that into your own life. “Should I have spanked my child’s bottom when she was five? or did some terrible thing result from that?” I think you’re always asking yourself these questions – and good that we are! Otherwise if we weren’t constantly reevaluating ourselves, we wouldn’t have any moral life at all.
RM: Living a lie, at first glance, may seem easier than accepting the truth, but eventually one will define you. How do you see Rachel?
Jessica Chastain: I had to ask myself, “Why does she [the character Rachel] choose to live this life? Why does she live the life of a lie?” She’s someone who doesn’t choose her own life. She doesn’t choose a life of love, she doesn’t choose a life of being authentic to what she really feels… and I did a lot of research about the holocaust and medical experiments, and I realized regarding survivor’s guilt, it’s so powerful, and when everyone else is gone, there is the question of “Why me? Why do I get to live? How am I worthy of this?” And sometimes you martyr yourself and try to prove yourself worthy to have been the one to be alive.
COMING 2012 RANDY WAYNE
JOHN SCHNEIDER
ROSANNA ARQUETTE
DIGITAL FILMZ INTERNATIONAL AND RISEN MEDIA PRESENT A SKIPSTONE PICTURES PRODUCTION A FILM BY JOHNNY REMO FILM “HARDFLIP” JOHN SCHNEIDER RANDY WAYNE SEAN MICHAEL AFABLE CHRISTOPHER MICHAEL JASON DUNDAS CHRISTIAN HOSOI BRIAN SUMNER LUIS TOLENTINO AND ORIGINAL MUSIC COMPOSED ROSANNA ARQUETTE AS BETHANY JONES PRODUCTION DESIGNERALLISON VEILLEUX COMPOSED BYJASON BRANDT. SONGS BYBRIAN "HEAD" WELSH EDITED WRITTEN PRODUCED AND CODIRECTOR OF EXECUTIVE BY VAHE DOUGLAS PHOTOGRAPHYRUDY HARBON PRODUCERKELLI GILLESPIE DAN BACKMAN PRODUCERALLAN AND MEGAN CAMAISA BYDAN BACKMAN AND JOHNNY REMO DIRECTED BYJOHNNY REMO risenmagazine.com 51
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Movie Highlights Ordinary Women WhoTake an Extraordinary Step
THE HELP Writer: Kelli Gillespie
l to r: Viola Davis, Octaria Spencer, Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard
A New York Times best-selling book is now a celebrated feature film and its message will continue to challenge people with its timeless and universal story about the ability to create change. The Help, set during the 1960’s, is a story that personalizes the civil rights movement through the perspective of maids working in Mississippi, and provides a hope that is unmistakable. Risen caught up with Mary J. Blige, Bryce Dallas Howard, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, and Jessica Chastain to talk about courage, influence and success.
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Risen Magazine: You have multiple multi-platinum albums, you’ve won numerous Grammy Awards in several different genres…any way you slice it, you are definitely a true success story. How do you view success? What does being successful mean to you?
Mary J. Blige: Being successful is knowing how to treat yourself and people. That is success. You can have all the money and fame in the world but if you are walking away and people are whispering behind your back about how they can’t stand you… I don’t know how good that is? I don’t like that feeling. Just being happy with yourself and learning and growing into your own skin and being cool with that. You can put on all the clothes and jewelry and buy all the cars in the world, but what good is it if you’re not happy? I’ve been there, drowning myself in material things and feeling miserable.
RM: Being a celebrity you have a unique sphere of influence. Do you view yourself as a leader?
Bryce Dallas Howard: I have a great example in my life with my dad [Ron Howard] of how to approach celebrity. I don’t think I’ll ever even touch his level of celebrity – he’s been an actor since he was 18 months old, and he’s in his 50’s now. He just goes through his life, makes good movies, he’s a really good dad and a really good husband, and he doesn’t get consumed with what people’s impressions are of him or what impact he’s making. He’s just a good person. So he does make a good impact and he doesn’t need to strategize around that because it comes from a very genuine place. I learned from that. You can’t really think about those kinds of things. If you’re making bad choices, people are going to know that you’re making bad choices. If you’re making healthy choices, that’s what is good for you, and people will probably get a sense of that.
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RM: What do you think it means to have courage and stand up for something you believe in?
Viola Davis: It means you are living and growing, and the thing about courage in this film is that it comes because of need. It comes because we all have an extraordinary need based on what is being bred underneath us – which is racism, and hatred, and societal roles – and the strong need that we have to break out of it to be whoever we need to be in life. Whenever the need is great, you either die or you break out of it, like a phoenix.
RM: What can help people have that courageous spirit or attitude?
Octavia Spencer: I think Abe Lincoln said it best when he said, “It often requires more courage when we dare to do what’s right, then to fear to do wrong.” I think these women exemplify that and you can be a hero in your own life by just taking a step.
RM: Has there been a time where you felt out of place or you didn’t fit in with what was perceived to be normal?
Jessica Chastain: All the time, I constantly feel like I’m a fish out of water. In elementary school I always felt a bit like the red-headed girl; that I wasn’t quite fitting in with the groups. I’m sure we’ve all felt that way at some point. I absolutely related to Celia trying so hard to fit in and belong. But really if you’re true to who you are, and you accept who you are, and you love who you are, then you’re going to find the people that you belong with.
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Dept:Q-5
Against the Grain: This Hip Hop Artist Aims to Spread Hope
KERO ONE Writer: Anthony Moore
In addition to engineering funky beats, writing what some believe to be brilliant lyrics, and developing a fan base around the entire world for his music, hip hop artist Kero One could probably write a best-selling book on how-to-do-it-yourself. After creating and releasing his first album out of the studio in his bedroom with the money from his own pocket (or lack thereof ), Kero One went on to personally handle the jobs that a handful of professional music agents would be hard-pressed to complete, and rose to become an international sensation in the hip hop world. Risen had a chance to talk with him about his thoughts on life, meaning, and the challenges of going against the grain in the tough music industry.
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Risen Magazine: A lot of your songs reveal themes of a tough life growing up with financial struggles, racism, and pressure for academic excellence - how did these issues shape your music? Kero One: Basically, all these things that I talk about are true occurrences growing up. They’ve definitely played a huge part in who I am and have given me a lot of material to talk about in my rhymes.
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RM: It’s obvious through your music and lyrics that your faith is a very important thing for you. How has your spirituality shaped your career?
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RM: What have been the hardest barriers to stay true to your beliefs in an industry known for non-stop partying, drugs and alcohol, and the idea that success is defined by record sales?
RM: What would you say is the main message you want to spread to your audience?
KO: It’s all about hope. There are always going to be struggles… sometimes they’re ugly struggles, but a lot of times they’re also beautiful struggles. We all have that choice to make, and for me, I’m always trying to find that hope at the end of the tunnel. I feel like people do want to hear the kind of positive message I’m talking about. And it doesn’t always have to be serious. I like to let loose and have a good time too, and just hear something that’s fun. But my main focus is that I do what I want and what I believe in, and if people accept it, that’s great, and if some don’t, then hopefully one day they’ll come around.
RM: Rap and even hip-hop music has a stereotype of being disrespectful and vulgar sometimes, what has inspired you to go against the grain with your message of hope?
KO: I think there’s definitely a mass appeal with that rebellious/ mainstream sort of message. But at the end of the day, I respect everybody’s art, and whatever they want to say and do, but for me, I just like to stick on my path, whether or not it’s the mainstream way to go. I just feel happy I’m doing what I think is great, what makes me happy, makes me feel like I’m making a positive impact in some way.
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KO: Spirituality has definitely always been a part of my career. If you listen to the first thing I’ve ever done, the Windmills of the Soul stuff, throughout it I’m talking about life, but from a spiritual microscope. It’s something I grew up with. I was raised Christian. As I got a little older, I kind of just did my own thing, and I started to ignore a lot of things I grew up with. But it came to a point where I just made my own decisions that I believed in it after seeing how things were on the other side of the fence, where there wasn’t that religion I grew up with. So I lived doing whatever I wanted. I finally got reeled back, and realized life is really short and at the end of it, you look back and realize what’s important. You’ve got to think about what you did on this earth. And I felt like that inspired me to want to come back to my faith and try to put more weight on that in my life. So with that perspective, I started talking about life.
KO: Generally there are always drugs around in the hip-hop scene – that’s just industry standards. But most people know where my head’s at, so it’s usually chill. The hip-hop industry is definitely an interesting one, a lot of temptations out there. It comes with the territory. It’s definitely easy to get wrapped up in that kind of lifestyle. For me, it’s been a growing process, and I try to have selfcontrol; I think that’s the key, because I’ve done things where I’ve said, “Ah, whatever, let’s just do it,” and then I look back and regret it, and definitely had to pay the price in some ways. I illustrate a lot of these examples in my music and songs. But now that I’m a bit older, I’ve realized I don’t want to slip back into anything like that. Ultimately, I try and stay focused and self-controlled.
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56 Risen Magazine
Dept:Outreach
Don’t Always Believe What You Hear Seek the Scriptures for the Real Story
MATT HAMMETT
Writer: Anthony Moore
Matt Hammett sensed God wanted to use him in a new movement. Then it was confirmed, twice. First by a whisper from the Holy Spirit, and that same sentence repeated by a complete stranger, “I feel God wants me to tell you that He is going to use you to begin a new movement of worship.” With the vision clear, Hammett founded Flood church in 2000. The name was inspired by the Old Testament verse Joel 2:28, “I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions” (NIV). His desire was that Flood would be a place where everyone who came through the doors would be flooded with the Spirit God promised to pour out on all his people. A decade later his vision is still the same. Risen had a chance to talk to Hammett about his story, his heart for college students, and how Flood is trying to genuinely connect with young adults about God. Risen Magazine: Tell me about your background…you weren’t you always a Christian with a dream of becoming the head pastor of a Christian church? Matt Hammet: I didn’t grow up in the church. Some guys I played basketball with in high school were Christians and they kept inviting me to youth group. I kept saying no, not because I didn’t want to go, but because I didn’t know what to expect in going. I was nervous someone would ask me to look up something in the Bible. I had no idea and was totally unfamiliar with the Bible. But I finally went, and I heard the essential message of Christianity explained, the Gospel. I had never heard that before, about who Jesus was, what he did, and why that matters. Shortly after, I made a decision to become a Christian. So, the condensed version is that as I began to grow in my faith, I wanted God in my life. Then came college, and I really started to love working with college students and was considering going on staff with a college ministry, like Campus Crusade for Christ. But I really felt God leading me towards pastoral ministry and about a year after I graduated college – while I was a driver for UPS – I was offered a full managerial position as a youth pastor. I was only 23 and accepted that position. RM: What have been the most difficult challenges for Flood in connecting with young adults on a deeper and even spiritual level? MH: One word comes to mind, grace. People are starved for it; genuine grace, genuine love. I think the Christian church believes they’re preaching that and living that, but what does grace look like to a young adult? If I’m a church with a music style that is 50 years old, that song may be about grace, it may be about love, but is that connecting with the young adults? I think that’s a factor, finding out where young adults are at and how to translate the truths of the Christian message and the Gospel in a way they can understand and receive it. There’s a tension between grace and truth. We don’t compromise the truths of the Christian gospel. The stereotype [thinking] in churches towards young people is, Wait until your married with kids, and have a mortgage, and then we’ll give you a voice in the church. I think young adults are hungry for the opportunity to make a positive difference. RM: What do you think are some of the biggest barriers young adults have in coming to faith in God? MH: Some of the things that stop them are stereotypes. I think a tension point in our culture in moral relativism, and pluralism, that says basically all religions are basically the same, can be a resistant point to some people. I think some people have been hurt by the church, which provides a challenge for people with a church background, whether it was rigid, or legalistic, or just hurtful in some way. You think of a kid whose parents were in a role of leadership in the church and there was something that happened –divorce, maybe – where his [her] parents were somehow shunned that could have
colored his experience, which may or may not have something to do with the church. Maybe it was just the parents went through that, and the parents thought they needed to move one, but how is it being filtered by a kid? RM: As a seasoned pastor of young adults, what would your best advice be to someone wanting to find and follow God for the first time or to recommit? MH: Get a good, readable translation of the Bible, and spend some time in it, spend some time in the gospel of John. Make that search about looking at the life and the person of Jesus and start there regardless of what you believe. Realize as you look at his life, and who he is, that Christians believe he is God in the flesh. Then ask based on that, “What is God like?” Put aside some of thing things you’ve heard about him, either in church or the media, and allow God to speak to you from the scripture. Then [encourage them] to talk to people who are further along in life and faith and listen to their story. Ask them, “How did you come to this point of understanding and experiencing God?” I think young adults hunger for relationship, they don’t just want people telling them, “Hey, you should do this in your life,” but rather want people who are willing to listen and share, “Hey, here’s what I’m going through and there’s the pain I’m dealing with.” [They need to] make the journey about Jesus. Also, to realize we all carry some preconceived notions, but [try to] allow the scriptures to speak by asking Him [ Jesus] to speak through the scripture. As a pastor, I’d say check out a local church. If there’s a local church that has a reputation for making a difference in the community you live in, go look at what they’re doing. You don’t have to believe what they believe to join in and be part of it; you can go in to learn. I think that’d be a great experience. RM: What do you think are the biggest pitfalls when it comes to having faith in God? MH: I would say being genuine in your faith. Love God, love people. I relished and enjoyed my time as a college student. I was a new Christian at that time and I was excited and passionate about my faith in Christ. You’re going to be distinctly different when you allow God to demonstrate his love through your word and your actions. [My advice] is to make your life about your yes’s, not your no’s. If you go in with a defensive mentality like, “I’m not going to endure and make it through and not fall into the pit of sin,” I don’t think that’s a recipe for health and success. But if you go in [with an attitude like] “I want God to use me while I’m here, I want to learn as much as I can in terms of my studies, I want God to use my life… my yes is to Him, His plan, and His purpose,” then you realize there’s a lot of hurt, pain, and emptiness that’s out there. As a culture, we’ve been planting the seeds of “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow, we die.” That there is no greater purpose; life is a cosmic accident, so get all you can out of this life. But there’s a different story. The story is “No, you’re not a mistake. You’re the creation of a loving God who cares deeply for you and gave His life for you and has a plan and purpose for you.” risenmagazine.com 57
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Dept:Miracles
A Wellspring for Life
DEP TUANY
Writer: Shelley Barski
“Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:37-38 For Dep Tuany, clean water means life. In his home country of Southern Sudan, villagers will walk over eight hours to retrieve unclean water to stay alive. Instead, this water ends up transmitting disease, causing blindness and even death. The irony? Clean water could be right beneath their feet, but with no method to access it, it remains unattainable for many. Tuany became passionate about the pursuit of clean water for his country when his own infant son died from water born disease during a two month journey on foot to Ethiopia. “I kept giving my son water when he got sick and that’s what made it worse,” Tuany recalls. “Children play in the water. They don’t know what’s in the water and the people don’t know what killed them. I didn’t know about water born disease until I came to the U.S.” In 1991, Tuany and his friend were the first Sudanese refugees to arrive in San Diego in an effort to escape the civil war that was tearing their country apart.Just getting to America as a refugee was the product of many years of hard work and pure determination. He had lost many family members and friends in the violence of the civil war and was displaced in an Ethiopian refugee camp with his wife and children. It was in that camp that Tuany learned life is sustained with another wellspring—Jesus. He was not aware of Christianity before he entered the camp and got his hands on a Bible once he was educated enough to read. “In the Nuer tribe, where I am from, we believed in a God but had rituals we had to do to get into the kingdom of God,” he says. “ You don’t go through Christ to get to God in those religions. That is the biggest difference. I found out by reading, that Jesus is the only way for eternal life. In 1984, my wife and I were baptized and became Christians in the camp. We responded to the call of God and believed this was the only way to go. I was blessed so much by living in the refugee camp because I had a way to know the word of God.” Tuany was able to be educated to the 10th grade level at a school in Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia. But then he was asked to leave and either go back to the refugee camp or return to Sudan. He didn’t like either choice, so he decided he was going to go to Kenya to try and find a better life to support his family who remained in the camp. Upon trying to cross the border to Kenya with his friends, they were arrested and thrown in a Kenyan prison. There for a week without food and becoming very weak, he had the idea that they could escape. One evening when the guards thought they were using the restroom, they made a run for the border and escaped across it without being caught. Kenyan officials looked for them for days unsuccessfully. After a year-and-half in Kenya, Tuany realized there was nothing for them there. “We needed to find a way out of Kenya. We could not work there, we could not go to school and we couldn’t go back to Sudan because it was too dangerous,” Tuany explains. “My friend and I sit down by a tree and pray in Kenya. I asked God if it’s possible for me to leave Kenya, to show me the way. Then God opened a window for us to go to the American Consulate. We had to prove that it wasn’t safe for us to go back home. They listened. They processed our case and we went through orientation to come to the U.S.” After Tuany arrived in San Diego, the same “Now what?” question was before him. His friend assured him though, that San Diego was to be their “last stop before heaven.” They were no longer going to run from place to place. Tuany helped other Sudanese come to America and get settled, including his family whom he was reunited with in 1993 after years of separation. He decided to make a more organized effort to help his fellow Sudanese,
so in 1995, he founded the Southern Sudanese Community Center in City Heights, San Diego. Sudanese refugees are unique from other refugees because they speak very little English, are uneducated and have no skills to prepare them for the workforce. The center has become an invaluable resource for Sudanese refugees helping them with housing, healthcare, and jobs and assimilating to the American culture. After years of struggling to find a home for the center, the City of San Diego was able to donate a building in City Heights with the help of Price Charity, a foundation that was willing to renovate the space and create classrooms. Between 2001 and 2009, Tuany’s program became very successful. He recruited tutors from nearby universities to help and the Sudanese students were soon picking up the language, the reading and writing, and interacting well with other students. “This is a program I am very proud of,” he says with a smile. In 2008, Tuany founded the nonprofit, Nu-Water International, which focuses solely on raising money for wells in Southern Sudan. “When the 2005 cease-fire was initiated, the Sudanese were released back home,” he says. “It was difficult for those to go back home because there was nothing to go home to. I knew I had to help them. The only way I could help them was to raise money in San Diego for clean water.” Tuany has since completed two missions to Southern Sudan and provided clean water for multiple villages. Each well or borehole costs $15,000 to drill and none of it would have been possible without donations. Tuany makes sure donors get to see where their money is going and how it is helping the people in the villages he visits. On his first mission back to Southern Sudan in 2009, Tuany was reunited with his mother after 22 years. She greeted him with tears of joy and was able to taste the fresh water he and his team provided to the community. “When I see the water shooting high in the sky, I have tears. The feeling is more than a blessing. Life just cannot be sustained without clean drinking water.” Tuany had another reason for tears of joy on July 9, 2011, when South Sudan became an independent nation, finally separating itself from the Islamic north. The wars have ceased and a new flag waves valiantly before 192 nations at the UN headquarters in New York. A new anthem was also written as a testament to the triumph of Southern Sudan’s tragic history. Through the excitement though, Tuany is quick to point out that there is still much work to be done. “The war on development has not been won yet. Education, employment and healthcare are still on ground zero. I want to convince our Americans to help build up this new baby country,” he emphasizes. Tuany will continue to press on, watching his hardships turn to victories. His wife and now seven children can enjoy a life he had always dreamed of as a child in Sudan. He has plans to return to Southern Sudan in 2012 to drill more wells for villages in dire need. There are 260 villages on his list and as long as he can get funding, he will try to reach them all. “What keeps me going is the love of humanity. I want to be a part of the development in Southern Sudan. Not only because it is my country, but because they need help,” Tuany says passionately. “I can speak on their behalf. I am not the only one that shares their story, but if my story has the opportunity to be told, then I will tell it.” For more information on Dep Tuany’s efforts,visit The Southern Sudanese Community Center’s site at http://www.ssccsd.org/index.html or Nu-Water International at http://nuwaterinternational.org/ risenmagazine.com 59
Dept:Expressions
I
t’s the only time of the year when it’s acceptable for Storm Troopers to invade the streets of San Diego, or for Spiderman to be in the checkout line at the supermarket, not to mention the profusion of celebrities that come to America’s Finest City. This is the world’s largest annual convention of anything and everything about comics – from books, to movies, TV shows, action-figures and more. Here are some snapshots from 2011 Comic-Con.
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Nick Swardson
Dept:Expressions
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