Feature

Welcome

to the Riverfront Times weed issue — and the launch of something new.

We’ve been covering marijuana, literally for decades. The culture. The consumers. The market. The destructive government policies. The brutally uneven imprisonment.

We have written about marijuana from just about every angle imaginable. And now, with legali ation finally turning a corner, we’re going to push even further with a dedicated section called Reeferfront Times (most jokes will be better, promise) in the paper and online. This week is the kickoff.

nside, you’ll find stories about the nonsensical process of obtaining legal marijuana outside of mainstream health care’s moralizing, a conversation with Jeff Mizanskey, marijuana on campus and a rundown of the dispensaries popping up across the St. Louis metro. Expect coverage of the wild west of the booming industry and Missouri’s renewed legalization efforts for recreational in the future. To guide the way, we’re introducing the RFT’s new cannabis correspondent Thomas K. Chimchards, a pseudonymous man of mystery whose debut column is an instant classic. Tommy Chims (@TOMMYCHIMS on Twitter) does a fine job of e plaining his plans, and I won’t double up here, but you’re going to want to read.

You can make sure you don’t miss a word by signing up for our Reeferfront Times weekly newsletter at riverfronttimes.com or just keep checking back online and in the paper.

A lot of the way our coverage grows will depend on you. So hit us up with your questions and story tips at either weed@riverfronttimes.com or tommy.chims@ riverfronttimes.com.

See you around.

—Doyle Murphy

A Farewell to the Weed Man

Introducing THOMAS K. CHIMCHARDS THOMAS K. CHIMCHARDS

once, as a fresh-faced teenager looking to reup my weed supply, I showed up at my dealer’s home on a sunny summer afternoon and was surprised to find that he no longer had a front door.

Said dealer, whom my circle of high school friends referred to only as “The Guy,” lived in a trailer park in the county whose defining characteristic seemed to be its unnecessarily humongous speed bumps. The residents of the neighborhood had found a novel solution to avoid the suspensiondestroying mini-mountains, as evidenced clearly by the wheel ruts in the yards on either side of the road wherever they were installed. It wasn’t really a fantastic place to live, I guess is what I’m getting at — but still, the complete lack of a door was a new one.

I stepped into The Guy’s home cautiously, and found that there was no furniture to be found within. This was normal — The Guy took a minimalist approach to interior design that mostly involved milk crates and a mattress tossed on the floor. here was a new aspect to the scene, though, in the form of about a half-dozen men passed out all around the living room and surrounded by empty cans of air duster.

The Guy arose from his midday slumber and came to greet me, explaining that he and his cohorts had been up all night drinking. They’d waited until the sun came up and newspapers had been delivered to his neighbors’ homes, at which time they wandered out and stole the plastic bags the dailies came in and used them to help force as much compressed air into their lungs as possible. The Guy was hazy on the details as to why he no longer had a door on his home, but I felt like I had gotten the picture. Asked if I wanted a hit of duster for the road once our transaction was complete, I politely declined.

The Guy and I had a bit of a falling out in the weeks that followed when I purchased some acid sugarcubes from him that were heavy on the sugar and light — as in zero — on the acid, rendering that year’s ourth of uly fireworks display merely magnificent rather than mind-blowing.

Soured on conducting business with The Guy after that disappointing experience, I began seeing another local dealer, whom my friends and I called “That Guy.” Once, while I was waiting in That Guy’s living room for him to complete my weed order, another fella who was there for similar reasons produced what looked essentially like a bottle of Visine from his pocket, stuck it up his nose, and took a big sniff. “Want some?” he said. “What is it?” I asked. “Heroin,” he replied matter-of-factly. Again, I politely declined.

Those two experiences always come to my mind whenever I hear people refer to cannabis as a “gateway drug.” For years, D.A.R.E. programs and similar prohibitionist propaganda ham-

Continued from pg 13

mered the idea that use of the demon weed would lead inexorably to more dangerous drugs — that marijuana was just a stepping stone on the way to the addiction and ruin more harmful substances would inevitably bring.

I always knew it was a crock of shit. By my estimation, the only reason I’d even been offered heroin or air duster at all — or for that matter, bunk acid — was as a consequence of weed being illegal. Being forced to purchase it on the black market is what led me to meet such shady characters as those Guys in the first place.

With these formative experiences in the back of my mind, it’s more than a little surreal to now be in a position where I can not only purchase cannabis legally, without the risk of being offered any manner of life-ruining substance in the process, but at the behest of a publication that is actually paying me to do so. he first time stepped into a local dispensary and bought some weed — which was last week, actually, upon receiving the news that I’d gotten the cannabis critic gig at the RFT — was completely disorienting. Purchasing pot in a professional environment more akin to a cellphone store than a flophouse full of degenerates is not something I think I’ll ever quite get used to.

Still, I can’t help but feel for the street dealers left behind. My own guy, whom I do not refer to as any manner of “Guy,” has served me well for a good while now, delivering to my home and charging rock-bottom prices in comparison to those found at the dispensaries. It’s likely that, were it not for this gig, I’d still be going through him.

Things being as they are, it’s time to bid a fond farewell to my weed dealer as we prepare to begin running cannabis criticism in this paper (watch for that to kick off next week). In keeping, I thought an exit interview of sorts would be appropriate.

For obvious reasons, we won’t be IDing him, and we’ll be referring to him only as Mr. Nickname going forward. We spoke with Mr. Nickname about what he has to offer that the dispensaries do not, what his next plans are now that legal weed is encroaching on his business, and why he’d never make it as a budtender.

What do you think of all of these medical dispensaries horning in on your territory? I just hope their prices remain outrageous. That could help me.

What is it that you have to offer that the dispensaries don’t? I’m not going to be giving you that fake fucking Guitar Center bullshit, you know what I mean? And you don’t need to show me any paperwork. You can give me a fake name! It won’t matter.

I know that, prior to this, you spent some time driving a taxi, right before Uber came along and squashed that industry. And before that, you were trying to earn money playing music, just in time for people to stop purchasing physical media altogether. What’s next for you, as far as making money is concerned, now that they’re coming after your weed job? h, figure if start my own oil company I can save the world. Because they’ll come in and shut oil companies down. It’ll be like, “We don’t do that anymore.”

Have you ever considered working as a budtender? Oh no, it sounds awful. I bet you can’t smoke cigarettes, I bet you can’t go outside whenever you want. I mean maybe; it sounds great and I’m sure I’d do a good job of it, but they’ll be like, “OK now, when we’re at work, this is how we work at this place.” You know what I mean? And I’ll be like, “No, fuck you. I go outside and smoke cigarettes when I feel like it.” Have to worry about, “Oh man, hope I don’t have to poop.” It’s bad enough when somebody’s coming over to your house, but then it’s like, “This guy’s got to poop all the time, I don’t know. We should probably take some hours off his timecard.”

What would be your pitch to keep people buying from you, the weed man, rather than going to a licensed dispensary? You know the money’s going to a good place: me and my animal friends. But that’s the thing, I don’t want everybody coming to me. I’m gonna make too much money that way, and then you start looking stupid and somebody is gonna be suspicious. So it’s like, I guess don’t come to me if you weren’t already. Unless, you know, maybe some more people. But I got a pretty decent thing going if everybody goes to me instead of the store — just the people I know. I’m not looking to be a store; that’s too much. That’s too much work.

Keep an eye out for Tommy Chimchard’s new weed column, Reeferfront Times, starting next week.

weed culture disgusts me. I hate tie-dye. I hate jam music. I hate sandals. And I really hate Joe Rogan. Wow, do I hate Joe Rogan. That guy can fuck right off.

But, man, cannabis really works for my chronic pain.

I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is a disorder of the connective tissue. Basically, my collagen is faulty. As you’ve seen in many skin-care commercials, collagen is the glue that holds everything together — and mine sucks. My connective tissues are far too loose. This means that my bones fall out of joint and I dislocate constantly. My skin tears easily. I bruise frequently and impressively. My organs are prone to rupture. My everything wants to fall away from my everything else, basically. My body is unstable, unsettled and unhappy.

As you can imagine, this is all very painful. Because of this, my doctors have been trying to get me to take opioids since I was a kid. I’ve always refused — for me it always seemed like the first step into the abyss. When you have chronic pain and are on painkillers, medications often have to be increased until they’re maxed out. Meds also have side effects, and then those side effects have to be managed, and then they cause some other issue, and then your whole life becomes a never-ending loop of constant medical intervention and trying to balance everything.

I don’t doubt that I will have to start taking opioids one day in the future; I’m just trying to put it off as long as I can. My doctors are confused by me, routinely insisting that proper pain management with pills would increase my quality of life. But honestly, what do they know? They don’t live in my body; I do. And if I’d started taking their highly addictive pain medications when they wanted me to years ago, I’m positive that I’d be dead by now. So I’m putting it off as long as I can, damn it.

But as my pain got worse with age, I realized that I had to do something. Never a weed smoker (type-A control freak, can’t chill),

at’s Up, Doc?

My DOCTOR couldn’t prescribe My DOCTOR couldn’t prescribe medical marijana for me — medical marijana for me — but someone I never met COULD but someone I never met COULD

by Jaime Lees

Continued from pg 14

my exploration into marijuana as medicine began as an adult just a few years ago. Marijuana worked for other people with EDS, so I gave it a try.

And yep, weed works — and it doesn’t have any medical side effects. And it helps me sleep. And it stops my muscle spasms. It’s like a multi-functioning miracle substance.

To this day, my cannabis consumption remains very low. Sometimes I don’t take any for months or a year, even. But when I really need it, it always helps me out.

So when medical marijuana became a possibility in Missouri, I knew that I wanted to get registered. And because I have a whole team of doctors willing to prescribe me heavy narcotics, I thought getting approved would be easy. I was wrong.

My doctors could prescribe me oxycontin, hydrocodone, codeine, morphine or fentanyl with ease, but none of them could get me signed up for medical marijuana. hy hey’re all affiliated with the same hospital, and the hospital has a rule against prescribing weed.

I spoke with my primary-care doctor and asked if he’d prescribe marijuana for me if he was allowed. He said “absolutely” and called me an “ideal candidate.” But his hands were tied. I had to look elsewhere.

So I went to track down a woman known as “Doctor Z” from the “CannaBus.” She’s a traveling doctor who has driven all over Missouri, licensing patients in boutiques and headshops. She’s famous in this state as the woman who can get you all set up, and quickly.

As it turns out, she also has a wellness spa in Brentwood and often meets patients there, too. ocated on the ground floor of that tall Brutalist building across the street from Whole Foods is Dr. Zinia Thomas’ spa, called Radiance Float + Wellness (1760 South Brentwood Boulevard, 314736-4736). It’s just like many other spas in that it has a salt room and a float tank and it offers many treatments of dubious “new age” pedigree. It also has a small, tasteful cabinet of bongs for sale — but that’s the only indication that this place is involved with any cannabis business.

I visited on February 14 last year, because the spa was running a two-for-one deal for Valentine’s Day. Doctor Z usually charges about $125 for an appointment to get a license, but during this sale you could bring in your sweetheart and both of you could get licensed for just $160. The deal seemed too good to pass up.

We didn’t know if we’d be met with crowds or a line or what the situation was, honestly, so when we got there we were relieved to find just a calm, mostly empty spa. We told the receptionist why we stopped in, and she handed us two iPads on which to fill out our personal information and to answer about ten questions about our anxiety levels, because anxiety is the symptom that Doctor Z uses to prescribe. We answered honestly, without even a bit of exaggeration — it was a scary time in this country, so the truth revealed our high anxiety levels.

Then we waited for the doctor. The receptionist said she wasn’t there at the moment but that she’d be in soon, so to kill time the friendly and accommodating employees offered us a tour of the small facility. When we were finished with that they let us hang out for a few minutes and then took us into a consultation room. Doctor Z did not show up in person, but on video. One of her assistants brought in an iPad and set it up in front of us. The doctor then gave us our consultation via video.

During our video call, she explained to us how the system worked and what the next steps would be before asking if we had any questions. As impersonal as a video chat might seem, we both felt that she was kind and caring, so that was unexpected and nice.

And then we were done. We received our papers from an employee and were then on our own to submit them to the state of Missouri for final approval.

After years of hoping and praying that I could legally get my preferred medicine and being denied by the doctors who have known me for years, I was instead given permission to carry it from a doctor that I’d never actually met face to face. Was that it? Did this system really work? Was I getting ripped off? Did I just pay a good chunk of money for a piece of paper that would do me no good? submitted it to the state to find out. It cost about $25 for Missouri to process it (and you can send in a photo of your paperwork — you don’t even need to track down a scanner), and less than a week later, it was done.

I got an email from the state of Missouri, logged back into my account and then printed myself my own card. They don’t send you an official card in the mail or anything, so it seems a little weird to print your own on a regular sheet of paper, but it does include your ID number and all of that on it.

That’s it. That’s all it took. What my specialists and longtime medical professionals couldn’t get done for me was fi ed with just $80 and the equivalent of a quick FaceTime chat with your awesome aunt. Unbelievable.

I’m grateful that there are doctors out there like Doctor Z who are paving the way. (And truth be told, they’re also cashing in. Massively.)

It seems so messed up that I have to go to a stranger for a diagnosis to get a medicine that my doctor should be able to give me directly, but it’s not surprising — the entire health-care system in this country is beyond broken. You just have to find ways to make it work for you.

The medical marijuana card system is very familiar: Pay your money, get your freedom. It’s just like everything else in America, really. n

When traditional health systems balked at medical marijuana, alternatives emerged. | JAIME LEES

A small case of bongs was the only indication of the cannabis services. | JAIME LEES

Life After a Life Sentence for Weed

JEFF MIZANSKEY interviewed by DANNY WICENTOWSKI DANNY WICENTOWSKIJEFF MIZANSKEY

in 1994, when Jeff Mizanskey was sentenced to life in prison, the country was already several years into waging a meat-grinder drug war against its own citizens. In Missouri, courts locked away thousands on mandatory minimum sentences that could be triggered by anything from several pounds of cocaine to a joint’s worth of cannabis. Two decades later, Riverfront Times staff writer Ray Downs broke the story of Mizanskey’s shocking punishment in a 2013 piece, titled “How a Missouri Man Could Die in Prison for Weed.”

But Mizanskey, the only Missouri prisoner serving a life sentence for solely cannabis-related drug charges, did not die in prison. Instead, his cause galvanized activists behind the state’s legalization movement — and in 2015, thenGovernor Jay Nixon commuted the 60-year-old inmate’s sentence, freeing him to face a world far different than the one he’d left.

The former inmate became an activist, and he spent the next several years working on the campaigns that in 2018 led to Missouri voters approving medical cannabis through a ballot initiative.

Now 67, Mizanskey is still working to further Missouri’s legalization efforts. He’s also a board memeber of the nonprofit ana Convict Project, which aims to aid “non-violent cannabis inmates with their release from prison” and reintegration into society.

In an interview last week with the RFT, the icon of Missouri’s cannabis movement reflects on where he’s been — and how far Missouri has come.

Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.

After getting out of prison, you spent years advocating for campaigns to legalize medical marijuana in Missouri. What’s your impression of the outcomes so far? Well, what I’d like to see is complete legalization on the federal level, or at least, at the very minimum, decriminalization. But peo-

Je Mizanskey was serving a life sentence for marijuana until he was freed. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI

so many years? I’ve been reading about them, since I would like to apply for a pardon to get my record clean. But there’s so much other stuff going on. I’m more worried about our brothers and sisters that are still in prison than I am with me — hell, I’m 67 years old, got cannabis on my record, and personally I don’t give a shit. But there are so many that are young people that are getting out that it makes a big problem with, because they do have to find jobs.

You say that you’re waiting for full legalization to hit Missouri — are there any legislative efforts you’re backing in that area? I’ve not seen any bills yet that I’m totally happy with, but I doubt whether I’ll ever be with other people writing them. There has to be a way to help people to get out of prison. If the bill passes, you oughta be able to push a button and poof, let all these people

ple now are accepting it, they see that, since legaliza- “ It was strange — I mean, after spending tion, the sky hasn’t fallen, it’s not as bad as what we were almost 23 years in prison for cannabis, all told it was. hey’re finding out how helpful it is for and now all of a sudden I can go into the people that really need it for store right here? It wasn’t a mile from medical conditions. I think it’s a big step. It’s going to where I was originally arrested in 1993.”help a lot of our people — hell, it helps the arthritis that I have. And that’s great. But I think You’ve had the chance to travel out, and their records are clean. we still have a long way to go. Missouri and other states as an ac- I mean, just think of how much

You’ve had a chance to patron- tivist and speaker. Do people still money just our state would save ize some of Missouri’s new medical recognize you? if we released prisoners that are cannabis dispensaries. What was All over the country. It’s kind of being held on nonviolent crimes that like? surprising when you’re some- such as cannabis. was actually the first one here to where that you’ve never been and Your journey has taken you from buy legal cannabis in Pettis Coun- people come up, “Oh, I know you,” a prison cell to lobbying legislators. ty. It was strange — I mean, after and they come out with your What do you see when you reflect spending almost 23 years in prison name and start telling your story on Missouri’s cannabis movement for cannabis, and now all of a sud- and start asking you questions. in the years since your release? den I can go into the store right It’s kind of strange but good in a It seems like we take three or four here? It wasn’t a mile from where way. Hopefully, it can help hun- steps forward and one or two I was originally arrested in 1993. I dreds, thousands of other people back, but we’re getting there. I bewas almost afraid to go in the dis- through the Cana Convict Project. lieve there’s a lot more cannabis pensary, you know, because every- What’s your takeaway from the and hemp can give us. People are thing in the back of my mind, the recent actions of Missouri Gover- finally waking up to the fact, and feelings come up when you walk nor Mike Parson, who has to date I think it’s going to take time. I’m into a place like that. I was think- commuted the sentences of eight 67 years old. I hope I’m still here ing, “Oh my god, what am I doing drug offenders sentenced under the when it happens, but I think it’s here? Should I be here?” same law that put you in prison for on its way. n

e Li

BUY WEED Here’s where to BUY WEED

by Daniel Hill

well, it took long enough. Maybe it’s the mentally draining effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the way every single day of 2020 simply begged for some form of psychoactive escape. Maybe it’s that thousands of people across the state secured medical marijuana licenses as soon as they were available, only to see an entire year pass with no means by which to purchase legal weed in sight. Maybe it’s the fact that, yeah, this really did take a ridiculously long time.

Whatever the case, weed lovers can rejoice: Medical marijuana dispensaries have finally, mercifully, begun opening their doors across Missouri after nearly a year of COVID-related delays. New grand-opening announcements are coming in steadily now, and a whole slew of dispensaries are just awaiting approval from the state to start peddling their wares.

We’ve put together a list of the dispensaries that are, as of press time, currently open and selling weed in the St. Louis area, in order to help you, dear reader, have a very merry 4/20 this year. Have a look at those below, and remember to keep an eye out as more begin to open their doors — this thing is just getting started. locations either currently open or in process in Missouri and Arkansas. t sells eighths of flower for between 9. 6 and 1.90 before tax at its Ferguson and St. Louis locations, with a stock that includes AK-47, Magic Melon and 1 , among others. dibles, pre rolls, vape cartridges and accessories are also on offer.

N’Bliss Dispensary Multiple locations including Ellisville (15396 Manchester Road, Ellisville; 314-627-2699), Manchester (1266 Old Orchard Center, Manchester; 314-627-2499) nblisscannabis.com N’Bliss offers eighths for between .99 and 6 .99 before ta , as well as quarters for 109.99. Flower on hand includes Purple Trainwreck, Miracle Alien Cookies and Poontang Pie, among others. N’Bliss also offers the usual pre-rolls, edibles, accessories and vape cartridges found at most other dispensaries, but it additionally carries Gelato bubble hash at its llisville location for a cost of 9.99 per half gram.

Swade Cannabis has two locations and is opening a third, designed to be its flagship, this week in the Grove. | COURTESY SWADE CANNABIS

Root 66 Cannabis

Multiple locations including Dogtown (6660 Manchester Ave, 314-282-7978), South Grand (3737 South Grand Boulevard, 314257-0816) root66cannabis.com Root 66 Cannabis bills itself as “your fast lane to the Midwest’s premier cannabis shopping experience.” At the time of this writing, its two locations are offering eighths of flower from 69.99 before tax, with strains including Gorilla Pie, Purple Chem and Diesel Train on offer. Additionally, Root 66 carries a variety of vape cartridges, pre-rolls, edibles and accessories.

Greenlight Dispensary Multiple locations including St. Louis (8542 North Broadway, 844-785-9333), Ferguson (517 South Florissant Road, Ferguson; 844785-9333) greenlightdispensary.com Greenlight Dispensary is a regional chain with nearly twenty

Swade Cannabis

Multiple locations including Ellisville (16075 Manchester Road, Ellisville; 314-924-6501), St. Peters (146 Jungerman Road, St. Peters; 314-924-6500) swadecannabis.com Swade Cannabis’ website dubs it “Missouri’s premiere luxury cannabis company, created to restore and enliven mind, body and spirit as one.” It is selling eighths of flower for 60 before ta , with a limited supply as of press time — the St. Peters store is stocked with

Root 66 could be your doorway to another reality. | TOMMY CHIMCHARDS

Miracle Alien Cookies at present, while the llisville one has that as well as San Fernando Valley OG. Both locations stock prerolls, vape cartridges, accessories and edibles, and the dispensary’s Grove location (4108 Manchester Avenue, 314-924-6503) celebrates its grand opening this Friday (April 16).

Captiva Healing

9933 Watson Road, Crestwood; 314-406-2604 captivahealing.com Captiva Healing bills itself as “a local family-owned medical marijuana dispensary that is passionate about serving the St. Louis community.” It sells eighths of flower for between and 60 before ta , with such strains as Bubba Fett, White 99 and th Dimension among its offerings. Captiva Healing also carries a large selection of prerolls — larger than most other dispensaries on this list — as well as edibles, accessories and disposable vapes.

Missou Wild Alchemy

2173 West Terra Lane, Lake St. Louis; 636-887-0977 missouriwild.com Missouri Wild Alchemy’s website describes the operation as “a small, local and family-owned business dedicated to providing Missouri medical marijuana patients with high-quality cannabis and education.” The shop sells eighths of flower for between and 6 before ta , with a selection of strains that includes Chem Scout, Sour Diesel and White 99. In addition to the usual slate of edibles, accessories, pre-rolls and disposable vapes, Missouri Wild also carries an assortment of crystals and cool rocks for staring at after you’ve ingested their products. n