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Al’s foul mouth, China’s inbox and Roy Blunt’s missing backbone

Compiled by DANIEL HILL

Welcome back to the Big Mad, the RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot:

AL LANGUAGE: In a world where prepared statements are workshopped into bland paste, Al Watkins has thrived as an attorney willing to say wild stuff. And, truly, there is a certain pleasure in the baffled response of a national reporter first encountering Watkins. He has managed to get away with so many “inappropriate” comments, probably because we’re all bored to death. But you know what? What he said in an interview about his client in one of the Jan. 6 insurrection cases is screwed up, even for Watkins. “A lot of these defendants — and I’m going to use this colloquial term, perhaps disrespectfully — but they’re all fucking short-bus people,” Watkins told Talking Points Memo. “These are people with brain damage. They’re fucking retarded. They’re on the spectrum.” Watkins later told the St. Louis PostDispatch he chose language that would “literally make people’s jaws drop in disgust” as a way to get attention for his client’s mental health problems. And, well, bullshit. Watkins glommed onto the most recognizable defendant, the facepaintwearing “Q Shaman,” not to raise awareness of the man’s mental health, but to raise awareness of Al Watkins.

ROY VAGUE: Sen. Roy Blunt went on “Fox News Sunday” to talk about the proposal to create a Jan. 6 commission to investigate the Capitol insurrection. So far, Blunt has sided with members of his party who are opposed but can’t quite get their stories straight as to why — a moral low ground for the party of personal responsibility. But Blunt is more adept at his game than most. He’s going with the idea that it’s “too early” for a commission. Fox News’ Chris Wallace wasn’t ready to let that go. He asked Blunt, “Can you honestly say in opposing this commission ... you’re putting country above party?” Missouri’s senior senator had a lot of things to say, but what he didn’t say was “yes.” You might have thought Blunt could find his long-lost backbone as he prepares to leave public office, but he seems content to sidestep right out the door. He’s the opposite of Al Watkins (see above) when it comes to speaking his mind, but the motives to benefit himself are the same. The biggest difference is no one has to listen to Watkins; Blunt is supposed to speak for us.

LOST TIME: People who are locked up are often overlooked. It’s part of the design of pushing our problems out of sight and out of mind. But in a rare turn toward justice and humanity, Missouri legislators were all set to make a change that would undo some of the damage done by a merciless “three strikes” law. Rep. Cheri Toalson Reisch’s amendment to a public safety bill would have allowed people serving ridiculously outsized sentences as “prior persistent” drug offenders to finally have their cases reviewed by a parole board. However, lawmakers apparently didn’t check the wording of the final bill before they voted on it. Toalson-Reisch’s amendment had been deleted, apparently by mistake, and with it an opportunity for dozens of people to be treated fairly. They’ll have to wait at least another year for another shot — paying the price for lawmakers’ mistakes.

EMAILING CHINA: Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt sent out one of his press releases, announcing “Missouri Attorney General Serves Chinese Communist Party, Wuhan Institute of Virology in COVID-19 Lawsuit.” Pretty grand, huh? A mere thirteen months after suing China over COVID-19, Schmitt’s team has managed to email three of nine defendants. He is still working on serving the other six, including the People’s Republic of China. The federal district court says Missouri will have to go through diplomatic channels for those defendants, the A.G. notes. The State Department charges $2,275 per defendant for that, but Schmitt assures Missouri taxpayers he’s seeking a waiver. This is on top of the hours state staffers have devoted and untold dollars paid to a private vendor for translating documents and tracking down addresses. It’s a complicated process, Schmitt concedes, but he’s dedicated. But here’s a thought: Maybe he didn’t have to look to the other side of the world in search of parties who dropped the ball with COVID-19. Maybe he could look at a former president who sat on information about the severity of the virus as it swept across the country last spring. Or maybe, even closer to home, he could consider the role of a governor who ignored the pleadings of medical experts and healthcare workers for mask mandates or any kind of leadership. Missouri taxpayers wouldn’t even have to pay translators for that investigation. n