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REEFERFRONT TIMES
[DISPENSARY REVIEW]
Tommy Chims Smokes Heya’s Weed Written by
THOMAS CHIMCHARDS
T
his new era of police friendliness toward cannabis is never going to stop being surreal for those of us who have ever spent time in a cell over the stuff. I still vividly remember, many years ago, being arrested in the parking lot of a St. Louis County mall after a passing cop rolled by the car I was in and saw me hit a joint. As I recall, the handcuffs he put on my wrists were fairly tight, but when I asked him if he could loosen them, he walked back over to me and tightened them another click. By the time we got to the station, my hands were numb, and the officer offered a smarmy faux-apology as he removed them upon our arrival. “Sorry about that,” he said sarcastically, a wide grin stretched across his face. “I had to make sure you couldn’t go for my gun to shoot me or anything.” “Oh, I’d never do that to you,” I replied, matching his tone. But fast-forward to the present day, and things have changed considerably. And nowhere does that change feel more stark than at the north county location of Heya Wellness (10417A St Charles Rock Road, St. Ann; 314-656-6362). Situated in the same exact parking lot as the St. Ann Police Department, Heya’s relationship with the local cops is such that they can often be found hanging out in the dispensary’s lobby, working as security guards. On a recent visit, when the shop’s ATM was down, I asked the officer at the front where the ne t nearest ATM might be. Our conversation was considerably more friendly than the one I had with an officer those many years ago. “Excuse me, do you know where the nearest ATM is so that I can buy some weed?” I asked, amus-
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RIVERFRONT TIMES
Heya’s sleek sales floor is well stocked with cannabis products and accessories. | DANIEL HILL ing myself. “There’s one in the lobby of the police station, or there’s one over at Regions Bank,” he replied helpfully. (I opted for the police station one, for maximum surreality.) It’s an odd contrast of experiences, but, of course, it’s also a sign of the times, when weed is not only legal medicinally, ut also profita le enough to supplement the salaries of local off-duty cops. And one visit to Heya’s sleek, decidedly hip location makes it obvious that they have plenty of money to play with. Upon entrance to the dispensary, you walk into a lobby with a small waiting area furnished with chairs and a coffee table, with a front desk manned by an employee and a gorgeous, resin coated wood floor underfoot. A skunky cannabis smell is prevalent within, and even from the parking lot, owing to Heya’s nearby cultivation operation. Hell, you can probably even smell it from the police station. Upon handing over my ID and medical card I was brought to the sales floor, with canna is products and accessories lining the walls of the spacious room on wooden shelves and large LED screens
OCTOBER 6-12, 2021
riverfronttimes.com
displaying the shop’s menus. My budtender led me to the registers, where we discussed the products on hand. Heya has a rather large selection of strains, concentrates, vape cartridges and edibles, owing in part to the brand’s status as a vertically integrated operation with its own cultivation and manufacturing arms. At the time of my visit, they had more than twenty varieties of flower in stock, including eighths of such highly regarded strains as Runtz, Dosi Pop, Grease Monkey, Purple Sunset, Scooby Snacks and Mama’s Pie. On Fridays, the Heya branded products are 30 percent off and all other products are 10 percent off, so I went with some Heya-branded Grease Monkey and Mama’s Pie eighths ($38.50 each), as well as a Flora Farms eighth of Purple Sunset ($32.40) for variety. After taxes, my total came to $123.47. I dug into the Grease Monkey first, rated at . percent T . Upon opening the bag I was greeted with a pungent, earthy smell with some fuel-like spiciness hitting way up in my sinuses. The buds within were on the smaller side; as it turns
out I’d purchased some “budlettes,” or popcorn buds, without realizing it, but that’s not a problem for me because those often come at a discount and they smoke the same. These little guys were green in color, highlighted by bits of white and orange, and the dense but light buds crumbled easily on breakup, with very little stickiness. On inhale, that spicy, fuel-like sensation was more prominent, with hints of wood as well. I wrote in my notes that it made me think of “an unknown seasoning blend one might use for a holiday meatball I’ve never had. s for effects, the first thing noticed was a puffiness under my eyes, then an elevation to my overall mood — I’d been moderately irritated at the end of a long day when I’d started smoking, and afterward I felt much more relaxed and chipper. It also works very well for pain. I’d been hurting particularly bad on this day — maybe that had something to do with my level of irritation — but that all melted away after one bowl. My budtender had noted that this strain was a favorite among the shop’s customers, and it’s easy to see why: I found myself happy and relaxed, chatty and free
