RIVER MAGAZINE
FIRST ISSUE
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CONTENTS
06 KEEPING MA RIYA H GONZA LES 16 HEART OF GERMANY FLORIA N HA GENBRING 28 DIARY IRENA KIELB 36 WATER STARS CHLOE MIGHTON 46 INSPIRATION STEPHA NIE COCO 56 CHANGE OF PACE A LEX T. THOMA S 70 1 MILLION YEN EVA NIA ZHA NG 72 FOOSTEPS T. F. 74 SKETCHES CORY BROW N 78 YOUTH KA LEY JEON 80 UNTITLED SERIES EV ELLIN SKY ERS 88 HAPPY BIRTHDAY A NONY MOUS 90 SPONTANEOUS HA RRY Y EATES 98 FANTASY ROSS C. 108 CHANGE JILLIA N BECKER
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LIKE THE WAVES THAT ROLL AWAY... Nothing is constant but change.
It seems like just yesterday we slid around on the icy ground through trees with bare branches, our noses red and breaths hanging like cotton candy in the air. Cherry blossoms have since bloomed and faded in the blink of an eye, and we’ve started to bare our arms and legs in the sunshine. It’s July! Have you gotten sunburnt yet?
Just as the weather quietly changes without warning, so do we. We are never the same people we were five months ago. Like the cherry blossoms, sometimes the most meaningful moments are fleeting, and they are worth saving. We’ve been joined by several photographers, artists, and other creative thinkers in discussing change and the documentation of transient moments.
River Magazine myrivermagazine@gmail.com http://rivermagazine.tumblr.com
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KEEPING
MARIYAH GONZALES http://www.leaveandsoak.com Seoul, South Korea
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Photography is a way of holding separate parts and not any of their becoming. It is not for keeping track but just keeping. It is more like looking at the stars and not the constellations they make. There is then a keeping of parts that are not mine to claim; my parents’ courtship, a house I will never enter, a stranger lost in thinking. Whether they are cut from the memories of others or locked in a part of mine that I have forgotten the way to, I keep them. Yes, for myself but also for you. I keep them to remind us of the honesty and beauty
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that exists, if only in passing. They’re kept to keep, in honour of preservation, in honour of teaching. I read somewhere that photography was seeing the marriage of light and time. That every good photograph is a moment in flight, perhaps an impossible sight. This union is in film photography first. Film asks me to wait, and I may love it for that reason alone. Film takes guts, takes faith. I must trust not only the camera but the way I see. I must feel settled with whatever the outcome.
Mom’s Shadow A trip to the coastal city of Jeddha, Saudi Arabia. I have no memories of this and am no more than four years.
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Father Son Looking After the Kim Whanki Museum in Buamdong, Seoul SK. A quiet moment for a Father and Son but whose is this for keeping? Mine or theirs?
Peasant’s Lunch One of my first meals home in Toronto, Canada after a summer away: stewed beans, cooked greens and shaved mozzarella. My favourite place is around a table.
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My Shadow A walk I took alone through a neighbourhood I forget now in Seoul, South Korea. No agenda other than to stay quiet.
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Tennis Green Rooftops
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Mom in Love
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GREEN HEART OF GERMANY FLORIAN HAGENBRING http://sailtoengland.tumblr.com Thuringia, Germany
It is the moment you realize where you are and that you are full of happiness. Your feelings and thoughts, the way your surroundings smell, taste and sound. When everything seems so different than normal but feels like it should’ve been that way all the time. That’s when I take a photo of something I can’t take my eyes off of. It will never be the same as it was in that moment. The days rush by and everything changes but the picture will stay the same. Analog photography isn’t simply about capturing memories. It is a way of holding things as they were in an existing tangible object you can look at over and over again. Since I started taking photos I have fallen in love with so many little
things we all would normally walk past. I get lost in the front of an old building, sitting there counting the windows and imagining how it was built. A simple walk through the city turns into an adventure while I find places in my own hometown I never have been to before. Everything is changing around us and that’s the way it should be. But what is the future without the past? I try to not let go off everything that has gotten oldfashioned. I want to keep the old camera because it is still working. I like to play old instruments because their sound has seen so many things. I love old clothes, handmade and full of history. We need to slow down our lives and stop running forward without looking back sometimes. The goal
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we reach will not be as satisfying without appreciating the way we had to walk. With photography I have the chance to take something from days that have passed with me into what lies ahead. I look at a picture and a million memories flood my
mind. I can look at my pictures and I’m back in Amsterdam with my girl breathing the salty air and the next moment I’m in Austria high up with the clouds or just on a bench nearby caressing a kitten.
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DIARY
IRENA KIELB http://irenkapatrzy.tumblr.com Kraków, Poland For me, photography is a kind of diary. I capture what I love most: places and memories which are calm and natural. Peaceful moments with friends and family, simple moments in everyday life and travels in nature—that what’s important. Every moment is special. I’m a film photography person. It requires a lot of respect: you have to be patient, frugal and careful. And
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you are never sure what the final effect will be. Analog photography helps people slow down, stop for a moment, and think about what’s valuable. The best thing about photography for me? It doesn’t need spoken language. I’ve always been better at showing than talking. So instead of saying words, I take pictures.
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February without snow sunny afternoon weekend in the mountains long slow walk in the woods deep breaths losing my way finding my way
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first days of May a rainy, but cozy and lazy morning few days in the mountains with my friends homely kitchen in a little cottage making breakfast: scrambled eggs, bread and coffee with milk windows wide open to a very green garden
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winter morning my new place in the attic visit from my best friend ring on her finger talk about changes and becoming older favorite green tea with honey
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WATER STARS 36
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CHLOE MIGHTON Canada
When I take photos, I want to preserve the beauty and mood of each moment. I’m inspired by nature, light, human figures, quiet moments, and open spaces. I want to create a dreamy and introspective feeling. 37
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I took this photo last January. I was living on the West coast, and at the end of my street there was a pine forest with a golf course next to it—the contrast between the huge trees and the open grassy field was beautiful. One day, it was extremely foggy, so I went there with my boyfriend to take photos in the mist. Something that I love about shooting with film is being able to experiment with double exposures.
See more of Chloe’s work at: https://flickr.com/photos/94923093@N05/
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INSPIRATION
STEPHANIE COCO http://anafternoonlaughing.tumblr.com Australia
I started taking photos about 3 years ago because I was inspired by my friends and dad. I have some friends who do it professionally and some who do it recreationally, and it seemed like a lot of fun. Growing up, I saw a lot of bands, and that’s where the majority of my friends started to take photos. The photos they took draw back to memories that I can hold onto. They encouraged me to capture these moments on my own, and not only keep them for myself,
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but also share with other people. When I’m taking photos I just think of the moment—who I’m with, what brought me here, and what allowed me to get to where I am. I want to inspire others with my photos. I want friends, strangers, and family to feel inspired by where I go, what I do, what I see, and people I get to meet, much like how I felt inspired when I watched friends take photos. I want to inspire people to express themselves.
It was the first full day that Jack and I were in Hiroshima. Hiroshima is undoubtedly the main reason I wanted to go to Japan. I had studied Japanese for 4 years in high school, and my teacher was Japanese so she was able to tell us amazing stories. I was overwhelmed and excited, but also sad. I just
couldn’t believe how far a city had come from such a heartbreaking disaster. Even now, no words or photos can describe how I felt at the time, how blessed I feel that I could have experienced the city, and how beautiful Hiroshima is. Hiroshima is something that I’ll hold close to me forever.
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This photo was taken at Nara Dreamland, which is an abandoned theme park that closed down in 2006. I was with my boyfriend Jack, my friend Lauren, and her friend Dot. We were on a day trip from Kyoto and we had just been to visit the deer about a 40 minute walk away. Nara Dreamland is something that I had heavily looked into before leaving for our trip. The more stories I read and the more photos I saw of Nara Dream-
land, the more enticing it was. It was something I just couldn’t wait to experience. The feeling was beyond eerie. Walking up abandoned roller coasters, around broken-into gift shops, stumbling across people’s abandoned uniforms, rosters, and ride tickets was an undeniable thrill. It was undoubtedly one of the best days of my life, something I’m grateful to experience, especially with great people.
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CHANGE OF PACE ALEX THOMAS http://alext.tumblr.com Tokyo & Seoul
Every day could be the same if we aim for a routine. There's nothing wrong with feeling secure in monotony. Time flows, comes and goes. Still, change is inevitable whether we want it or not. I want it. I need it. Walking down the same street to the same train for a week straight is grueling for me. I've seen this already—this tiny road, the dying plants, these old sunbleached posters. I wonder what this street was like when it was new and bursting with hope that things would change. I sometimes take a photo to capture whatever hope is still lingering, before it's gone forever. It will definitely change again. The world is changing constantly and I am anxious I'm not there to see it all. But I've seen this road, and I want to take another road now. There are so many roads, so many possibilities. I took a personality test once. After filling in lots of circles from 1-5 on theoretical situations, it told me who I am.
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I read the description of myself back to myself, and discovered things I already knew. I am someone who likes options, and I'm always waiting to see what could be behind the next door, for something possibly better. This would make me a terrible gambler, I think. But I don't mind taking a chance on change. I want to know what's down another road. It could be dangerous but there could be a $10 bill laying in the gutter, my new favorite cafe, my future partner could live there—or it could be another tiny plant lined road with sun-bleached posters that people forgot about. I imagine so much could happen on a different road, I really want to see it. I like a change of view. A change of pace. Every day can be an adventure, if you are ready to change your mind.
TOKYO
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SEOUL
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I live in 2 cities and have similar photos of each place, but they are different. I crave and need difference and change. Maybe that is why I live in two places...
TOKYO
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TOKYO
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SEOUL
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TOKYO
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THINGS I DON’T WANT TO FORGET
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from T.F. to K.T.
christmas in february—matching watch straps and belts and poetry books about friendship valentine’s day dinner—squeaky knives and IPAs the silent couple at the next table, and the girl with wandering eyes the overly touchy-feely waitress our picnic at the top of the world, hummus and fruit the out-of-control dog eating our salad you jumping into the icy cold pool your big wet footsteps on the ground on the way back from the hot tub you bending over with your head down so that i could rinse the shampoo out of your brown hair “the bathroom smells like weed!”
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exploring rainy, empty disneyland with matching boots getting a piggyback ride to the car on the way to dinner after disneyland because of my bruised feet driving around at 1:30am between carl’s jr. and del taco, looking for el pollo loco begging steven alan to stay open another 5 minutes talking about past relationships, sharing in each other’s pain noticing the raised outlines of your tattoo you recreating bits of jerry seinfeld’s standup to try to make me laugh when i was sad waiting two hours for dinner, although it only felt like 5 minutes because i was laughing with you
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SKETCHES
CORY BROWN http://invocandum.tumblr.com Calgary, Canada
I recently had a talk with a friend about where cellphones fit into the world of photography. A long time ago, I didn’t even consider photos taken on a cellphone to be “photography”. When I was younger, I thought that if the description of your equipment didn’t involve some sort of initialism, you weren’t serious about taking pictures. If you weren’t two-handing an SLR, nobody would care about what you were producing. I mean, why even bother taking photos at a hardcore show if your camera didn’t have a battery grip? What was this, amateur hour? Hell, I never had enough money for a 7D, 5D, 1D or anything of that caliber, but I wanted to take photos so I somehow convinced my parents to get me a Rebel XTI for Christmas one year. I assumed that because my new camera had a detachable lens and manual settings, that I would automatically produce amazing images that would last a lifetime. I would one day look back through an incredible stockpile of photos with my kids and remember the good times. I could point to these photos and say, “See, this is how we had fun when I was a kid!” But the photos never really actually happened. I can’t remember if I ever had any printed,
and if I did, I don’t know where they are now. The extent of my picture sharing was on websites like Myspace or Fotolog. I don’t remember if anybody even liked photos I posted. I remember hearing the song “3x5” by John Mayer and thinking about what exactly I was recording by taking photos. I spent a lot of time trying to take photos for other
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people, and I ended up missing a lot of what I didn’t care much about taking photos was happening around me. Over time, I lost again until I took a mandatory Photography interest in taking photos— I eventually lost class in college. We had a critique where we the battery charger and never replaced it. were required to take photos with our cellphones and present them to a guest professor didn't have a camera by my side this time from Japan. Because of my bias about hoping I would see the world with both my eyes photography equipment, I had no idea what maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm we were doing, and I thought my photos in the mood to lose my way with words were stupid and mundane—but the professor
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told me something that really changed my attitude. He told me that just because the images were captured with a camera, it didn’t mean that they needed to be treated as photographs. They could be notes—something that you jotted down for later. They could be like an interesting lyric in a song that stuck in your head, or a funny joke that you wanted to tell your friends later. He told me the images could be anything I wanted— that I should consider utilizing the format as a form of documentation and not be hung up on producing only beautiful images to print out and share. I don’t know if it’s just a by-product of getting older, but I’ve felt my memory failing me more regularly over the years. I’ve never been a great note taker and I’ve found
that utilizing my cellphone as a way to augment my memory has made me really happy. During my conversation about cellphones with my friend, he mentioned that cellphone photos were like a sketch to him. You can pull your iPhone out at a moment’s notice and grab a rough outline of something you want to revisit or perfect later. I don’t feel embarrassed to snap a photo of something that others would find boring or ordinary, because now I have a way to look back and be quickly reminded of something meaningful, whether it be fleeting or profound. I pulled an old film SLR out of my closet a few weeks ago and I think it’s time to refine some of the sketches I’ve made.
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YOUTH KALEY JEON Toronto, Canada
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UNTITLED EVELLIN SKYERS http://earthtoevellin.tumblr.com New York
These images were all created during a transitional period in my life, amid bouts of uncertainty. They are among the only solid bearings in existence from this tenuous time. As precarious as that time may have been, these photos rekindle a sense of my prior state of mind. They are anecdotes of emotions, daydreams, and various endeavors. Similar to the phenomenal ability of songs to conjure up the most precise moments: from scent, to surroundings, or peculiar conversations with old friends.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANONYMOUS
Because of her: My taste in music changed. I have an entire library of songs that cue up detailed pictures of a time and place, always having to do with her. I just press play and I can take myself back to a moment. I quit a dead-end job and moved across the world to experience a new life and culture. I had my eyes opened to a whole universe parallel to my own, where even though I was lost in the crowd—I cared about her, she cared about me, and that’s all that mattered. I became inspired to better my own life through education. I had given up on post-secondary years ago and figured I was too old to pick it back up. Finishing what I started years ago would open new doorways to a life with her. I learned definitively that I’m not the best-looking, smartest, or funniest person on the planet; she is. Happy birthday to the most important person I’ve ever met.
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SPONTANEOUS HARRY YEATES
http://harry-yeates.com Manchester, England
A few years ago, I was helping my dad clean out his office when I came across a stack of black and white prints, photos that he and his friends had taken while living in San Francisco during the 1980s. I fell in love with them and the stories my dad told me about each photo—how even in the 80s it was quite rare to see British people in the States. The photos had this amazing feeling about them—each one looked spontaneous, capturing a single moment in time. I was aware of photography's importance in the media and in documentary work, but I had always thought you had to say, "Hold this pose!" or set up a studio to take a great photograph. I was so wrong. It opened up a whole new world for me, and this idea of capturing every day life with a camera got more and more exciting by the minute.
Not too long after that, I began taking pictures with a cheap digital point and shoot that I found in a drawer in my living room, and my new hobby evolved from there. A few years later, I discovered the wonderful world of film, and now, I shoot exclusively with film—mostly black and white, carrying on the legacy of those prints my dad made. I carry a camera with me everywhere I go. I can feel quite uncomfortable leaving the house without one! My real passion is in documenting my daily life. Sometimes that just means going for a walk, or heading into town and stumbling across beautiful scenes as they happen around me. I'm drawn to rather every day things. I quite like photographing people who are smoking, and loud street preachers. Sometimes things we just walk past can make great photos.
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I'd say most of all I love to photograph my friends and family, who have gotten used to the idea of me always having a camera. At first they would all attempt to look nice for a photo, or would feel nervous about me taking a picture. Now they hardly notice, and it allows me to capture some great natural moments—like when they laugh at your stupid joke, or an embrace
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after not seeing each other for a while. I try to be involved in the scene as much as I am documenting it. Sometimes I'll join a crowd in the street to see what's going on, and stay around for a while, photographing things as I see perfect picturesque moments. But it is important not to miss what's happening right in front of you as you photograph it!
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A few friends of mine came to town to visit, all of them skaters. We found out about this local skate park, and they all wanted to go and check it out. I hadn't skated in years, so instead of riding along with them, I followed with camera in hand. This shot was captured as the night was coming to an end. It was the last photo I took that night. I feel as though it looks almost like it could be the first photo I took that evening, with us riding into the night; but there's something cool about it being the exact opposite. It was a super funny night, more than anything. I haven't seen those guys in a while. It makes me quite happy to look at shots from that night, and remember those great times—like with all my photos, and the memories attached to them.
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FANTASY I started taking pictures with disposable cameras about 5 years ago after being unsatisfied with my DSLR at the time. When clicking through a few of them I realized I wanted a film camera, so my sister, who knows more about this stuff than I do, bought me an Olympus OM10. That’s what I've been using ever since. At that time I was starting to enjoy hiking and travelling, after being a sweaty metal head only comfortable in my bedroom in my teen years). The look of film lends itself to landscape photography, I think. Digital cameras always seemed too easy, as I
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ROSS C. Manchester, England
could spend the whole time taking pictures and not enjoying the view. With a film camera I have to stop myself and make sure the photos I took were worth it. The graininess always looked inviting to me, too. A big, slick SLR could never recreate that, and with landscapes I feel it detracts from the atmosphere. I live fairly close to the Lake District and Peak District in England and so they became my favorite places to take photos on long rainy walks. What I look for most is pictures with as little man made items in them as possible. This is simply because
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I want to take pictures I can imagine characters from The Lord of the Rings could walk through. Tolkien is a big inspiration in the pictures I take and I often imagine Frodo and Sam walking through the picture. Or if its misty (which I always prefer) a horde of orcs marching to war. Cheesy, I know, but I feel that places like the Lake District are stunning enough and are fairly easy to photo -graph well as they are real life postcards. The fantasy element that I con-template just brings out an extra dimension.
A. Wainwright is a big inspiration too. He’s not a photographer but his drawings, maps and enjoyment of the outside make you want to climb a fell. I didn’t leave the country for all of my teenage years. Since about the same time I got my Olympus, I have been trying visit as many countries as I can. Again, film lends itself to that as I want to take the most memorable pictures I can within the limits of a few rolls of film. Plus, I don't want to waste my holiday just taking pictures. These
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do try to make them interesting for myself and my girlfriend to enjoy afterward. I’d feel stupid if I’d gone to Gullfoss in Iceland and just randomly photos—I only have a few to take so I’d better make them worth it. Wherever I take pictures I like to think about how the place has changed over time. Whether it’s a mountain or a tram stop, that location has experienced transition. People have walked the same path I have for decades or even centuries, and thinking about what they may have seen and felt
compared to what I have is comforting and a little mind-boggling. This is rather a grandiose thought process I can never really get my head around, but a fun one regardless. Above all I want to take pictures that bring back memories of where I’ve been, and possibly make someone want to climb a hill. See more of Ross’s photos at: https://flickr.com/photos/74646387@N07
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CHANGE |
JILLIAN BECKER Hanover, Germany
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See more of Jillian’s work at: http://flickr.com/photos/42271078@N04
I started taking pictures when I was about 15 as a way of expressing myself and working through difficult emotions, as well as exploring the theme of identity as a teenager. Photography just turned out to be the medium that worked for me, and that became a natural part of my life I couldn’t do without anymore. There are so many beautiful things occurring all the time that may only last for the instant of a second— yet a photograph allows you to capture exactly that beauty in passing and make it last an eternity. It becomes something that you can go back to again and again, like the letter of a long gone lover. For me, the image of a special moment can mean a lot because it can transport the atmosphere and intensity of what really was. It does not mirror reality the way it really occurred but the way we envisioned it, but the way our camera and film and the given light allowed us to capture the happening—the photo adds another layer to the real moment, and therefore creates a new version of it. This process of transformation is change in itself, I believe. I take photographs as a means to not forget, to keep something I know won’t last alive and present in a small, tender way. The people in my life come and go (some may stay), I move back and forth across countries and I take in all I can.
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Photos help me to document what is around me, what I care about, what I need to process. I am sometimes astounded by the amount of change I have undergone when I flick through old photographs I took years ago. Especially with self portraits it is incredibly strange and fascinating all the same to acknowledge how details of my face have altered—the expressions my eyes used to have and how they stare back at me now when I look into the mirror. The same sensation of visible change applies to the people I captured throughout several years and it makes me somewhat proud to know I was part of capturing their inner and outer changes to some extent. I think this is something we will be happy to come back to when we are much older. The way I choose to capture people and which themes appeal to me most have also transitioned. For instance, I used to be very fond of dreamy, nostalgic pictures for quite some time—those of pretty girls in dresses, somewhere between flowers, striking a pose that suggests they are deep in their own thoughts in their magical fairytale world. I still think that stuff is enjoyable to look at but it kind of bores me, to be frank. I am more thrilled by ‘the real stuff’ now, which doesn’t mean a bit of nostalgia and some light beaming through dust is bad, I just don’t consciously aim to create purely dreamy images. I tend to capture more of the life that really happens around me instead of staging a situation and asking a model/friend to lend their face for my idea. Interestingly, I started off with rather raw images that were less ‘engineered’ and I feel this is something I am coming back to.
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A significant someone once said to me, “Time passes so that you can pass. Why would you not want to let it? What would time think? Don't take the passing of time for granted...” I found this to be incredibly true. Change is something that can be terribly daunting, especially when it comes to losing people or any kind of structure and purpose in life. But things must change,
time must pass, so that we can further grow and become. It doesn’t work any other way. We must surrender to change as something as fundamental like the rising and setting of the sun, the rhythm of day and night. It is both necessary and natural. If change is ever-present in our lives, how could we even block it out from the art we create? That is impossible. Having that
in mind, I am trying to be more accepting of change and not idealizing whatever lies in the past. Even the most magical image of a perfect memory was seated within the realms of a complex situation that may have not always been that happy altogether—the photograph only shows what we chose to focus on that very moment.
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EDITOR Y. J. KIM (“KIMMY”) COVER PHOTO KIMMY CONTENTS PHOTO CHLOE MIGHTON LETTER PHOTO FEI YE THANKS TO ALL OF OUR CONTRIBUTORS FOR THEIR HONESTY AND GENEROSITY. JILLIAN BECKER EVELLIN SKYERS MARIYAH GONZALES ALEX T. THOMAS HARRY YEATES ROSS C. T. F. IRENA KIELB KALEY JEON CORY BROWN EVANIA ZHANG STEPHANIE COCO CHLOE MIGHTON FLORIAN HAGENBRING
MYRIVERMAGAZINE@GMAIL.COM HTTP://RIVERMAGAZINE.TUMBLR.COM HTTP://INSTAGRAM.COM/RIVERMAG
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