BOOM! Cover Profile

Willie & Terrie Durham

Love, Patience, Compromise

This month’s cover profile is a couple who has accomplished much since moving back to Montgomery nearly 20 years ago. Willie and Terrie Durham have been married for 36 years and after completing a career in the US Marines, Willie and Terrie moved back to Montgomery, where Willie launched his State Farm Insurance career with the encouragement of his wife. They now work together in their State Farm Agency, Terrie managing the office while Willie manages the sales. They are committed to their church, their business, and their community. Willie has served in various organizations including the Montgomery Area Chamber of Commerce and the Montgomery Sunrise Rotary. It was a pleasure to get to know Willie and Terrie and we think you’ll enjoy getting to know them too.

BOOM!:

Please give us a brief biography, i.e. where you’re from, what led you to the Montgomery area, careers, marriage, family, etc.?

Willie and

Terrie: I’m originally from Montgomery and grew up in public housing in Gibbs Village, raised by both Parents. Willie and Terrie cutting their wedding cake My Mom worked as a cook at Varon’s your State Farm Restaurant for approximately 20 years Insurance Agency and when they closed she worked at in 2005. Describe ALFA in the Cafeteria for about 20 years the process of until retiring to take care of my father. launching your new My father worked for approx 48 years business? Why at A/C Construction until he had to insurance? retire due to his health. Terrie’s mother worked various factory jobs, JP Stevens Willie and Terrie: and Brockway Glass until retiring to After retiring open her own Home Day Care business. from the Marines, Her Father worked various factory Terrie thought jobs Coca Cola, Rheem and Cummings I would do well Engine shop before retiring. After in the insurance graduation from Jeff Davis, I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps.

BOOM!: Willie, after spending 20 years in the U.S. Marine Corps, you returned to Montgomery and soon after started industry, she worked as an insurance underwriter for Southern Guaranty insurance. She had an opportunity to interact with a lot of agents throughout the state of Alabama and she thought my background in the Marines, my experience in sales and my discipline would allow me to do well in the insurance industry. So she was very instrumental in supporting me and encouraging me to go into the insurance industry.

BOOM!: Willie and Terrie, please describe the many services your State Farm Agency offers and some of the important benefits your clients receive? What does the future look like for you and your company?

Terrie and Willie, a day at the State farm Agency Willie and

Terrie: State Farm Insurance has a lot of products to provide its clients. At the Willie Durham

Agency we primarily focus on hall, but we didn't come in contact attended, New Home Missionary automobile insurance, because we much until a party during our senior Baptist Church in Mount Meigs, to gain believe year, which favor with her father to let him know that every was after that I had honest intentions. It was home has a I moved not much later I would go on to get driveway or from Gibbs baptized at that same church and our parking lot, Village and faith journey would begin from that so we lead transferred moment. Christ is the center of our with our core to Jeff lives. We would go on to get married product, it Davis HS. I at that Church. After retiring from allows for us recognized the Marines and settling back here to talk about her and she in Montgomery, Terrie and I would the other allowed me serve at that same church. She is products we to have her the President of the Deacons Wives provide. My telephone Ministries and I’m the Vice Chairman of agency is a number, The Deacon Board. The foundation for full service The Durhams island hopping from a cruise although us is Jesus Christ and his teachings. It agency which includes automobile, she never answered the phone after has helped us to maintain our marriage renter's, and homeowners insurance, numerous phone calls. for 36 years we also do boats and recreational But one day when and it helps vehicles such as four wheelers and she finally answered us to be ATV’S. We also provide general liability my call, that was my patient with insurance for businesses. Of course opportunity. That was each other we offer life insurance, as well as short in 1982. And we dated and loving and long-term disability. So we're a our whole senior year each other full service agency. We like to say… in high school and then even when We're able to take care of clients from got married in 1984. So we are not so the cradle to the grave! Our outlook when it comes to love, I loveable…now for the future is continuing to have would say our secret to Terrie is always a great team to help us market, sell success is be persistent loveable but and provide exceptional service to the and know what you she has to look clients that we have. want and go after it. beyond some We've been married 36 of my faults BOOM!: Since Valentine’s Day is around years! :) Christ is the corner would you share with our patient with us readers your love story, how you BOOM!: Faith has been and we have to met and some of the secrets to your an important part of Terrie and Willie enjoying Downtown Montgomery be patient with marriage success? your lives, please share each other. with us some of your faith journey and The way we try to do business is with Willie and how faith has honesty and integrity. We don't put Terrie: We guided your lives profit over our principles. So faith is our first met at and the role it moral compass that guides us and it's Lanier HS, as plays in operating our true north. sophomores. your business? I recognized BOOM!: You grew up in Montgomery, Terrie at Willie and Terrie: please describe the progress, Lanier, but Faith is very changes, and the future potential of she was important to Montgomery and the River Region? oblivious to Terrie and me. who I was. When she was Willie and Terrie: We both grew up I continued a senior in high in Montgomery and returned after to see Terrie school, I attended serving in The Marines for 20 years. walking the church she We decided to come back to our home down the Willie and Kolby and her family city, because this is where our parents

were. We Just as Christ the benefits the Montgomery Area believe in is patient Chamber of Commerce offers not only this city… with us, we the local business community but it’s the try to be everyone who lives and works in our city where patient with community? we want each other. to live and Our son is 21 Willie and Terrie: The chamber as where years old and an organization is designed to help God has he is just like businesses grow their markets! The called us. any other Chamber focuses on recruiting So we young adult businesses so that our citizens can believe trying to find have good quality jobs. Also, they help that if his way and retain businesses to stay here in our we want we're patient area that other cities would love to try this city with him as to recruit. The chamber also focuses to be a Terrie and Willie Ready for The Derby well. on our military missions here with progressive city, we all have to roll up Maxwell and Gunter AFB. We were our sleeves and pay some civic rent. So BOOM!: What are some of your favorite successful in getting the F 35. If the this is where we live, this is where we travel experiences? Favorite vacation chamber is successful in recruiting and work. And this is where we worship. So spot? Any travel dreams planned? retaining businesses, we believe that we have an obligation to try to make our citizens will be able to have good this city the best it can be! Willie and Terrie: As a U S Marine and quality jobs. So when our kids go off as a State Farm agent, we've had plenty to college, they don't have to move to BOOM!: With a busy life, how do you of opportunities to travel, literally other cities for opportunities, those like to spend time with family and around the world. We love to cruise same opportunities would be here, but friends? as a family. So for about five years not only for jobs, we also want a good consecutively. Our quality of life, Willie and Terrie: My life is busy. But I Spring Break as a especially for try to also have a balance. Again, this family was to cruise young people is where we live, work and worship. on Carnival. We've who want to Terrie understands and she knows I’m been to numerous be able to civic minded and very involved. She's places. We took have things extremely patient. However, I have to a Mediterranean to do with be respectful of her time as well and cruise to Rome. their families. have a balance. I try to include her as We've been to The Chamber much as possible in any civic activities Cozumel Mexico wakes up every that we have outside the home. We also several times. Our day, focusing enjoy going to college and pro games, goal is to one day on its mission movies, concerts, comedy shows...and be able to take an and they want we exercise together! Alaskan cruise. Montgomery We've been to to be a place BOOM!: You received the Families Vancouver, Canada, that not only of the Year Award from the Family Washington, DC and survives but Guidance Center of Alabama in 2019. Boston which are thrives! The Please describe what that was like for some of our favorite Montgomery the two of you and your son, Kolby to spots. Also, we had Area Chamber be honored in such a way? an opportunity to go "It's only once a year" of Commerce to San Francisco. We love to travel and does a great job and I was honored to Willie and Terrie: It's always an honor can't wait for this pandemic to be over serve as its Chairman! when someone recognizes your family. so we can resume traveling again. Terrie, Kolby and I are grateful to BOOM!: Do you have any hobbies have been recognized as family of the BOOM!: You have served the or other activities that grab your year. That was a huge honor to be Montgomery Area Chamber of attention? nominated. Our FAMILY is just like most Commerce, most recently as Chairman other families, we have our challenges. in 2019. Please share your view on Willie and Terrie: Terrie and I have

similar hobbies. We both enjoy reading and traveling. We also enjoy eating so because of that we have included exercising in our daily routine:) We both are people of faith, so we serve others as much as possible through various church ministries. Kolby, our son also works in the church doing the audiovisual activities to help with the choir and the pastor's presentation.

BOOM!: Many people over 50 experience a renewed sense of purpose, new goals, or maybe new careers, especially if they’ve experienced the empty nest syndrome of their kids moving on. How would you describe this sense of renewal in your life? Any advice for the rest of us seeking renewal? How do you view the idea of retirement?

Willie and Terrie: So I really don't know how to answer this question. I feel as though 50 is the new 30. And 70 may be the new 50. So I think I have some time to go before retirement but If you enjoy doing something and you have your health I’d say continue to do it as long as you can, especially if you’re making a difference. That would be my answer to that. BOOM!: As you’ve aged, how have your priorities changed?

Willie and Terrie: Yes sir our priorities have definitely changed. With age should come wisdom….I would say I’ve learned that we should take better care of ourselves! Our health is probably the most important thing we have. Its been said, “When you’re young you sacrifice your health to gain wealth and when you’re old you’ll spend all your wealth trying to get back your health”. So I would encourage everyone to take better care of themselves! So that you won't have to spend all your money trying to recover your health when you’re older!

BOOM!: How have you been dealing with the COVID 19 challenges?

Willie and Terrie: Terrie and I have to be understanding with our employees, because some of them have school age children and the schools are going back and forth on whether it be in person or virtual. So you have to be patient with them, while they're getting the kids logged on or having to make additional visits to the school to get work. Also, we have to be patient with our customers. Some of them have been impacted by the economic downturns and jobs have cut back their hours if not terminated their employment. So people’s ability to pay their bills have been delayed. Finally, we want to make sure all of our

Terrie and Willie, ready for the night

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customers and employees are in a safe environment. So we've had to purchase additional PPE personal protection equipment to make sure everybody is safe.

BOOM!: How do you like to relax and wind down from a full day’s activities?

Willie and Terrie: Coming home to my recliner and getting in the chair and catching up on what's going on in World Events. My secret is I'm a political junkie, I love politics, I would never want to serve in an elected position, I just love the art of negotiation and getting things done to help others! So I enjoy watching the evening news to see what's going on in the world.

BOOM!: Willie, you were quoted as saying “If we’re going to have a good community, everyone should pay some civic rent. Roll up your sleeves and instead of seeing problems see what part you play in the solution.” Could you elaborate more on what this means to you? How do you get involved in community, civic or other service activities?

Willie and Terrie: Again, I think it's important that we see all the challenges that the community has and it's easy to pick those out, but I'd rather look for the solutions. I realize that one person can't make all the difference, but we can make a difference. So if we want this

community to be a good community, then find something that you can do to make this area better. If I can use a sports analogy… Everybody can't be the quarterback, but the center is as important because they hike the ball to the quarterback.

Game Time with Willie and Terrie

The Durhams: Kolby, Terrie, Willie

Everybody can't score the touchdown. Some people have to block but, in the end, we all win, and we all celebrate the victory! I'm a also a member of the Montgomery Sunrise Rotary, Commissioner Montgomery Housing Authority, Child Protect Advocate as well as other non-profits.

BOOM!: Willie and Terrie, give us three words that describe your marriage?

Willie and Terrie: Love, Patience, Compromise.

Son, Kolby, Terrie and Willie

We want to thank Willie and Terrie for sharing some of their story with us in this month's cover profile. If you want to connect with Willie and Terrie, you can email Willie at willie@williedurham.com or call his State Farm Agency, 334.272.9100. You can also visit www.williedurham.com. A special thanks to Shellee at Total Image Portraits for providing this month's cover photography. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions about our cover profiles, including nominating someone, please send them to Jim Watson at

jim@riverregionboom.com.

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On everything from finding purpose to setting goals, a grandmother offers lessons of encouragement and wisdom

Editor’s note: This essay is an excerpt from the author's forthcoming book, "The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul," which will be published in September 2021.

You own my heart. This love has been a surprise — and the most precious gift of my late life. I was not a Mommy. So, I did not expect to be a Grandma. But I married Neil and, when you came into the world, I became Grandma Connie — and my heart swelled with the sight, sound, smell and touch of each of you. This surprising love has forced me to grow, opening my heart wider and wider, as you grow, too.

I see your radiance — and don't want to do anything to squash it. So, I try to meet it with my own diminishing energy, to stay up with you when you run and play and bike and scooter.

I see your beauty. Your value is in what you are, not what you do or what you own.

I see your curiosity about everything and your passion to learn letters, to recognize them and put together words. So, I try to be with you in your learning, as inspired and excited as you are. Your curiosity is a clue that can lead you on a lifelong treasure hunt.

I see your play — "the sun's up, it's time to play!" — and the joy in your faces when we go on our Sunday adventures, when we take our special family trips, when we celebrate your birthdays and holidays. And your joy stirs a joy in me that is youthful, innocent and vibrant. For the child in us is alive at every age and can be rekindled with play.

You Are a Light

And I see your one-of-a-kind-ness. No one has ever been like you before, and no one ever will be. No one has your smile or your voice or your fingerprint. And no one can take your place in the world, where you are wanted and needed to do your part. You are a light — and your job is to let it shine.

And I want you to see in me that the full span of life is rich and meaningful, that we never stop playing, learning and loving. I want you to feel in me an unconditional loving presence, an embrace of all of who you are, a hand to hold to keep you safe, a lap that's warm and cozy.

As you continue to grow and become teens and adults, you will find a world that's not all safe, people who are not all warm and cozy. You will face a planet in a climate crisis and a society with rich and poor people, who live very different lives. You will be disappointed, hurt and angry sometimes, as all people are. You may have your heart broken, struggle with health problems or financial problems. But my hope is that you will take my love with you. Like a locket next to your hearts, you can carry my love as a feeling of your innate lovability. You can carry my positive gaze as a memory of your innate value.

As you find your way to a great education and a satisfying career, as you discover how to give and receive love, you will remember that there are boys and girls who are not as fortunate as you, not as loved or safe or happy as you are. And I hope that, when you're ready, you will turn and offer your hand, your love and your positive gaze to them — and return all that you have received.

Don't let others define you and limit you. Some of you are being raised Jewish, others Christian, others agnostic — all right in one family. But the values that I'm sharing here transcend those differences; they are shared ideals that transcend religion, race, gender, geography and age. And they can lead you to a life of meaning and purpose.

Life Does Not Happen on Text

Don't let technology distract you from real human connection. Life does not happen on text, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or WhatsApp; it happens face to face, eye to eye, skin to skin. It happens outdoors in the sun and rain, woods, and oceans.

Research is telling us that those teens who spend more time at home looking at screens than going out with friends and family feel more lonely and unhappy,

not more connected. Their brains are over-stimulated, and their bodies are under-exercised, so they struggle with being attentive and sleeping well. So, remember to use your iPhones and iPads to serve you; don't serve them. Don't let your devices be the last thing you see before bed and the first thing you see when you wake up.

Always strive to connect to something greater than yourself — whatever form that takes for you. And you will find a meaningful life.

It may mean striving to understand how life began, to unlock the mysteries of the universe, of human history, of our brains or cells. If this is your striving, then explore science — astrophysics, quantum physics, anthropology, neuroscience, physiology or microbiology. And make your unique addition to the vast body of knowledge that science has built.

It may mean striving to understand why people do what they do, how they are motivated, why they hurt others and how they recover from hurt. If this is your striving, then study psychology like Neil and me.

It may mean striving to understand the beauty of the natural world and to support the elegant web of life that connects us to plants, animals and all living things. If this is your striving, then study botany, zoology, sustainability and climate science.

Strive to Become Your Own Ideal

It may mean striving to inspire people through creativity. If this is your striving, then explore the visual arts, performing arts, poetry and music.

It may mean striving to make a difference to others, to ease their suffering and thereby contribute to the greater good. If this is your striving, then find a passionate cause — climate change, racism, sexism, homelessness, hunger, gun violence, hunger, poverty, education, refugees, animal welfare — and make it your own. Take the resources and gifts that you've been given and become an advocate, an activist, a teacher, a doctor, It may mean striving to figure out how your devices work. If this is your striving, then explore technology — robotics, artificial intelligence, social media — and steer them to be used for the common good.

Become A Compassionate Role Model

It may mean striving to connect with the Great Mystery, something beyond your small self, behind the layers of life that we can see or touch. If this is your striving, then study religion, spirituality and philosophy and find a contemplative practice that teaches you to sit quietly, alone, and hear the whisper of your soul. You may, like the great mystics before you, penetrate the veils covering our illusions and come to know your true source and destination.

As adults, then Elders, strive to become your own ideal. Become the generous, compassionate role models you had or sought out. Become the grandparents who Neil and I tried to be for you — or become even better than we were.

I had my shortcomings as a Grandma. I ask for your forgiveness for my absence at important moments, my impatience with your anger or tears, my overeagerness to shape you to my own ideals. I was always imperfect — and I'm leaving you an imperfect world.

My generation's unfinished business falls to you. I fought for racial equality, watched moments of humanity waking up, then watched in sorrow as some in our nation went back to sleep. I fought for gender equality, watched moments of humanity waking up, then watched, heartbroken, as some in our nation went back to sleep.

And I fought for environmental justice, watched moments of humanity waking up, then watched in horror as our nation, gripped in a stranglehold by oil companies, denied climate change and refused the call for a sustainable planet. So today, tragically, we hand down these fights to you, a challenging legacy but

The Future Is You

The future is being shaped now, as I write, in the hearts and minds of you children and in all children everywhere — rich and poor, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, white, Black, Latino, Asian. The future lies in your feeling nurtured or abandoned, safe or afraid, confident or insecure, hungry or satiated.

The future lies in the role models you observe — your parents and elders, heroes and heroines. What do they strive for? What is the meaning of a successful life to them?

The future lies in the spiritual and moral values being transmitted to you — kindness, generosity, empathy, service, personal development and caring for the earth. How do your teachers and leaders live these values? Do they practice a lifestyle that embodies them?

The future lies in the vision we transmit to you.

When I was a teen, long before you were born, I watched TV when an astronaut sent back to us a photo of the Earth from space: We saw, for the first time, a tiny blue ball, floating in darkness, no borders, no labels. And I watched a moment of humanity waking up to the reality that we are all in the same boat, sharing the same small habitat and bound to the same fate. Today, climate change is a fierce reminder of that vision: The earth is one living, breathing organism that feeds and sustains us, responds to our choices, and cries for your care.

So, the future is you: Each one of you is a fragile and powerful force for a more promising future for everyone.

I bless you, as you fill me with blessings.

Source: www.nextavenue.org

Dr. Connie Zweig, a retired psychotherapist, She is currently writing The Inner Work of Age: Shifting From Role to Soul.