19 minute read
Why Fun Is Key to Happiness As We Age
By Travis Tae Oh Why Fun Is Key to Happiness As We Age
Meaningful things in life are important, but here's how research shows it's equally important to have fun while you grow older
One of the most intriguing questions in life is to ask ourselves what makes us happy. Sure, it's a millenniaold question, but it keeps popping up, generation after generation, with many scholars and philosophers spending their lifetime studying it.
In contrast, very few people have seriously inquired (or researched) about what it means to have fun and why fun is important to our well-being, even during adulthood and in the second half of life. To better understand fun and explore its implications, I have devoted the last five years to interviewing dozens of individuals from all walks of life, collecting over a thousand written narratives, amassing hundreds of images for what's known as photo ethnography and conducting multiple experiments and analyses to build a theory of fun.
What My Research on Fun Reveals
My ongoing work has revealed that the underlying psychology of fun is an experience of liberating engagement — a temporary release from internalized restrictions, such as social obligations or self-imposed disciplines, by actively engaging in an activity for pure enjoyment. Although individuals may vary in the types of activities that they consider fun, the experience of fun is generally characterized by a sense of liberation and hedonic engagement.
Let me illustrate this concept through a particularly memorable interview I had with Greg (not his real name, for privacy reasons), a retired teacher in his early 70s.
Greg emigrated from Greece to the U.S. via a transatlantic cruise ship when he was seven and has lived in New York City since then. He worked as a language teacher for 35 years before retiring. His eyes beaming with pride as he explains his teaching experiences, there's no doubt that his career accomplishments brought him meaning and happiness in life.
Yet, as we start talking about his fun experiences, Greg's tone changes into one of youthful exuberance. I can feel a sense of pure joy and happiness as he puts down his classic black beret and steps toward the center of the room, telling me that he will show me the spirit of "Zorba the Greek."
Completely spontaneous, Greg starts singing a Greek folksong, in a conversational, medium-pitched vibrato. He takes diamond steps at each beat and jumps up in sort of a scissors kick and claps his hands in between his kicks.
It's a brief moment, but magical.
For This Retiree, Dancing Is the Epitome of Fun
Returning to his seat, Greg recounts his dancing adventures decades ago when he would go to clubs in Manhattan (most of which are now closed). For Greg, dancing is the epitome of fun.
"What makes it fun? Well, it's a total abandon," he says. "You get inspired by the music and jump up and down. Like, you let go. Your worries, you let go of everything. You get up there and dance."
While dancing might not be fun for all of us, Greg makes a vital point about the nature of fun. That is, the essence of fun is an experience of liberation. Of letting go and being carefree.
Whether you're dancing on the disco floor, trekking on a nature trail or playing a round of golf, fun arises from a temporary release from various obligations and psychological restrictions. It's not the type of activity that matters, but whether that experience engages you with a sense of liberation.
Why is this characteristic of fun important to happiness, especially in adulthood and later in life? Well, I see having fun as a quintessential counterweight to the burdens of life, keeping us balanced and mentally healthy to lead happier, fuller lives. Life's drudgeries can, at times, overwhelm the best of us — and that seems to happen more frequently in midlife. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicidal rates peak around the age of 50 in the U.S. and are significantly higher between ages 40 and 60 than any other age group.
Fun: The Antidote to Midlife Malaise
I see fun as one strong antidote to this midlife malaise.
Unfortunately, as ironic as it may sound, most of us don't take having fun as "seriously" as we should, even though, as my research suggests, fun is a major contributor to overall happiness. A statistical analysis of my study on 200 U.S. adults showed that the positive effect of fun on happiness was unaffected by age — that is, whether you're 20 or 60, the experience of fun will equally contribute to happiness. Further analysis confirmed that fun is an independent driver of happiness, even after controlling for other known contributors such as meaningfulness or sensory pleasure.
I believe we are placing too much emphasis on finding meaning and fulfillment in life as the holy grail of happiness, with little regard for fun. Perhaps influenced by demands of modern society, I believe we are placing too much emphasis on finding meaning and fulfillment in life (via career accomplishments or social relationships) as the holy grail of happiness, with little regard for fun.
For those of us who have been so laser-focused on our careers, parenting or other pursuits, spending significant money and time to really have fun may seem like a distant activity (when was the last time you did that?) or may incite feelings of guilt.
My Advice to You: Have Fun!
But the art of having fun comes from the realization that fun is a temporary release from internalized restrictions while engaged in a pleasurable activity. This sense of feeling free and liberated, even if transient, can greatly add to your happiness and compensate for the challenges that may lie ahead as you return to your meaningful pursuits in life. According to my research, the best way to achieve this is to set aside a specific time and location to give yourself permission to let loose and engage yourself in something novel and spontaneous with others who also want to join in on your fun experience.
I hope you will. Have fun!
Travis Tae Oh is an assistant professor of marketing at the Sy Syms School of Business at Yeshiva University. Source: www.nextavenue.org
Putting Your Estate in Order
When is the last time you reviewed your estate plan? Do you have a will? According to a recent survey by the ¹Harris Poll, 64% of Americans do not have a will. Why? The most common reason mentioned was that “they hadn’t gotten around to it yet.” If you have a will, when is the last time you reviewed it? Due to estate law changes in the last five years, there is a good possibility that a will that was drafted more than five years ago needs to be revised.
Financial Thoughts with Susan Moore
In addition, when is the last time you reviewed your beneficiary designations in your 401(k)s, IRAs, life insurance policies and annuities? One of the most common estate planning mistakes is not making sure that beneficiary designations are in order. Many people believe that the will governs everything about their estate and don’t worry about regularly reviewing their various beneficiary designations. In fact, if your beneficiary designations differ from what is expressed in your will, the beneficiary designations specified in your retirement plans or insurance policies will trump the will.
Every August, Susan Moore of Moore Wealth Management in Montgomery, conducts a free estate planning workshop in a Webinar format. The workshop covers a number of issues, including a review of the various legal documents involved in estate planning such as wills, durable powers of attorney, advanced healthcare directives, revocable and irrevocable trusts. Beneficiary designations are a great tool, properly used, in estate
By Susan Clayton Moore, J.D.
Principal of Moore Wealth Management, Inc.
planning. They are flexible and can be changed without having to re-do legal documents to reflect family changes such as births, deaths and divorces. The workshop covers how to use these beneficiary designations properly, including primary and contingent beneficiaries and per capita or per stirpes distributions.
In addition, the Webinar offers attendees a template of how to conduct a family meeting at which you communicate to your family and heirs your plans and intentions around the distribution of your assets. A vital part of this meeting is to define the roles and responsibilities of your various heirs as well as general instructions, including the location of key documents, burial wishes and intentions for tangible personal property.
These methods will be covered in a Webinar format on Wednesday, August 18th by Susan Moore of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. at 12 p.m. Please call 334.270.1672, or email sarah@ moorewealthmanagement.com, for more information and reservations.
We conduct a variety of workshops and seminars at MWM. The mission statement of MWM is very simple: “and then some.” We attempt to do what is expected, what is required “and then some”. The Putting Your Estate in Order workshop is part of our monthly “and then some” workshops. In addition, MWM conducts daily current events market updates that attempt to explain what is going on in the financial world. If you would like to be on the mailing list or receive email notifications of upcoming webinars, please call 334.270.1672.
Susan Clayton Moore, J.D., is a financial advisor and wealth manager of Moore Wealth Management, Inc., with offices in Auburn, Montgomery, and Alexander City, AL. Susan has under advisement over $170 million (as of 3.31.2021) in brokerage and advisory assets through Kestra Financial and has been a financial planner over 38 years. Contact Susan at 334.270.1672. Email contact is susan@ moorewealthmanagement.com.
Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Moore Wealth Management, Inc.
https://bit.ly/KF-Disclosures
¹https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2015/07/11/ estate-plan-will/71270548/
to register, call our Montgomery office at 334.270.1672
sarah@moorewealthmanagement.com
AUM OLLI Makes Plans for the Fall 2021 Term
Aum’s OLLI program is returning to in-person classes for the Fall 2021 term, which begins September 20 and runs through November 12. The schedule will include the usual variety of hands-on classes, discussion-study classes, and active classes.
A good way to get acquainted with the AUM OLLI program is to attend the open house prior to the beginning of the fall term. Scheduled for September 09, 2021, from 10:00 to 11:30, in the Center for Lifelong Learning (75 TechnaCenter Drive), the open house offers an excellent opportunity to meet current OLLI members and instructors, who will be available to discuss their courses in detail. Good things to remember about OLLI classes are that there are no tests and no grades, just learning for the sake of learning.
Some popular returning classes will be on the schedule including: exercise, art study at the Museum of Fine Arts, writing, World War II, and jewelry making, among a number of others. There will also be some new instructors and course offerings: composing pictures through the camera lens of a camera, the history of Route 66, and others (the schedule is still being developed).
There will also be a number of Bonus Opportunities available to OLLI members: a schedule of lunch presentations, book discussion groups, an afternoon hiking session, and possibly a couple of field trips (still in the planning stages). Put September 9, 2021, on your calendar, and come have a cup of coffee with some new friends. Meet the OLLI volunteer instructors, and discuss their classes with them. Bring a friend, and join us on September 9 at 10:00 at the Center for Lifelong Learning!
We hope to see you in the near future to continue our lifelong learning and fellowship with other OLLI members. For more updates
and information about AUM OLLI go
to www.aum.edu/OLLI .
JOIN TODAY!
Tell your friends!
By Kyrié Carpenter Understanding the Common Misconceptions of Dementia 8 Misconceptions from Members of Dementia Conversations
Dementia is an umbrella term for many different experiences of cognitive change. There are a lot of misconceptions about dementia that can add tremendous pain to an already challenging situation.
To uncover the most common and hurtful misconceptions, I spoke with the experts - people living with dementia. What follows are eight misconceptions sourced from members of Dementia Conversations, a program of Dementia Friendly Nevada.
A magic pill can fix it.
make each day a bit better, and these add up to making it possible to live well with a dementia diagnosis. - Nancy Nelson, Diagnosed with MCI
Dementia means only end-stage. As soon as you are diagnosed with dementia, you should appoint a substitute decision-maker.
Between ‘do this diet,’ ‘come to this clinic, ’and ‘spend your money here,’ there is a lot of misinformation out there. Since the 1970s, there have been projections of a cure in the next 5-10 years. While there is no magic pill, getting plugged in with support groups and seeking out the stories of advocates (like those featured in this article) can lead you to a guide of how to live well with a dementia diagnosis. - Sam Simon, Living with Early-Stage Alzheimer’s
There is no hope.
The overwhelming message from the Dementia Conversations group and other advocates is, ‘Yes, there is no cure, but lifestyle matters.” There are real challenges that come with dementia. AND many little things can be done to The Dementia Conversations group expressed frustration that people don’t realize dementia is a process. The stages of Alzheimer’s and dementia aren’t black and white, there is a lot of in-between. This misconception makes folks experiencing early-stage dementia feel invisible. Nancy Nelson expressed when someone is in early-stage, people say, “Wow, you don’t look like you have dementia.” Comments like this, “I forget things too,” and “You don’t sound any different than you used to” mean well. In reality, they deny the experience of the person you are talking to and cause unnecessary suffering. No one wants to be told how they feel. When someone tells you they have dementia, ask them about their experience, listen and believe them; that is their truth and reality. Chuck McClatchey, dementia educator, shared “Showtime” is a real thing. This refers to experiencing a few days of fog when recovering after a speaking engagement. Many in the group reported being able to rise to an occasion but then needing recovery time after the fact. This is a good reminder that every day with dementia is different.
It is crucial to communicate our wishes. Do this early and often. Imagine being unable to communicate them yourself. What would you want your loved ones to know? How would you want decisions to be made? After a dementia diagnosis, you may want to move toward a shared decision-making model. Ensuring the person living with dementia’s voice is heard is a big part of the care partnership. The goal is to stay engaged to the greatest extent possible for as long as possible. Get creative with communication to make sure wishes are being understood and advocated. Communication in the later stages of dementia can become challenging and it may be necessary to help implement decisions made previously. - Dr. Jennifer Carson, Family Care-Partner and Director, Dementia Engagement, Education This article is sponsored by Home Care Assistance, for more info visit > www.homecareassistance.com
Doctors have ALL the answers.
The group shared the importance of finding a doctor who will be a partner in our health. Nancy reflected that she interviews for her doctors to find the right fit. So much is unknown about dementia. It is essential to take anything you hear, from a medical professional or otherwise, with a grain of salt. Test it against your own experience. - Nancy Nelson supporters give and receive love and care from each other. - Kat Hartley, Caregiver, and Advocate
Dementia can be controlled through restraint.
Caregivers deserve pity.
Of course, there are challenges when helping provide care for someone living with dementia. AND that isn’t the whole story. The Dementia Conversations group share that the relationship can be rewarding, especially when there is an active care partnership where both the person living with dementia and their Physical and chemical restraints do not address underlying unmet needs and cause more problems than they solve. There is a different lens. We can look at behavior as communication or as an expression of unmet need. By getting curious we can meet these unmet needs. This has two benefits. First, by validating the need we can quickly improve quality of life. Second, when the need is met it does not need to be communicated anymore and frequently the thing we were trying to restrain leaves all on its own. - Richard Wells, Living with MCI
Care partners know what they are doing.
If you feel like you have no idea what you are doing, you are not alone! First, as we have said in other misconceptions, each experience of dementia is unique, making it challenging to ‘know what you are doing’. What works for one person may not work for another. There is still so much we do not know about dementia. There is no perfect handbook. Many care partners also do not have access to the training they deserve and learn on the fly.
The bottom line? Keep your eyes and heart open. There are many false stereotypes and misconceptions about dementia. By being curious, we can reduce the pain and suffering caused by these misconceptions. - Anonymous
In This Life is a collection of poetry and writings born out of a fractured, broken heart. Webster’s definition defines fracture as “to break or cause to break.” That is exactly what happened on December 1, 2017.
My husband, Tim, embraced his Savior at 2:39 p.m. on that cold day surrounded by his family and a host of friends. He did not know, as far as I could tell, that we were there. I imagine he was already running toward Jesus to meet Him face to face. But at 2:39 p.m., his heart rejoiced wildly, and mine broke.
What becomes of a broken heart? How is a broken heart defined? Again, Webster has many definitions, but the one I like the most is this: “to make a pause in a journey.” I like that one because it says “pause in a journey” ...meaning it is not the end of a journey.
The reflections on the outpouring of my heart are for you. If you are reading this as a widow, or you know someone who has become one, then you will recognize the emotions, heartbreak, the days of healing, and the days of falling back. This work is the result of my own personal “pause.”
My prayer is that you find comfort and healing along the journey with me. We may not know each other, but we walk the same road. One step, one foot in front of the other foot until one day God hits “play,” and the journey that was on pause will continue for all Eternity, together with Him and our beloved husbands.
If you would like a book, please contact Lynn Benefield by email at
Lynniebenniexo@gmail.com
The cost of each book is $10.00 plus 3.25 shipping.
By Karen Highland
New to Gardening
My first attempt at gardening happened about 3 years ago. It was to serve three important purposes. First, to help improve my diet. I am a true southern girl and like good southern food. I wanted to increase my fresh vegetable and fruit intake, but I wasn’t willing to pay the high cost at the supermarket. Next, as my children became teens and less dependent on me, I needed new hobbies. Gardening seemed to be a perfect hobby that I could do by myself. Lastly, I needed to get some exercise. I wanted to do something that I enjoyed and not spend money on a gym membership that would probably go to waste. I got into gear and researched what type of garden suited me best. I settled on container gardening because the soil in my yard was so poor, and it seemed the best for a beginner. I chose vegetable seeds and fruit trees that I knew would produce foods I liked to eat. I bought a small green house, potting soil, containers, and everything that the internet said that I needed to be successful. I was fully equipped for the journey. I started my seeds in trays indoors and acclimated them over time to the greenhouse outdoors. Seeing them sprout was so exciting. I documented each step in my journal and took photos. As they grew, I eventually moved them to their permanent containers on my porch. They thrived. The foliage was bright green, strong, tall, reaching onward and upward to the sky. I had grown my green thumb and I was so proud. As the weeks passed, I watched them flower and bud anticipating my bountiful harvest. Out of 50-60 healthy plants I got very little mature produce. What had I
done wrong? What had I missed in all my research? I watered more, I watered less, I moved container from full sun to partial sun, I repotted some, I fertilized, I documented every detail to no avail. I literally had the most beautiful vegetable container garden without one piece of produce to show for it. I was devastated because I had worked so hard, and I could not figure out where I had gone wrong. After some more in-depth research I realized I had chosen plants that weren’t bush/ container varieties, I watered and fertilized improperly, and I had not considered how much squirrels enjoyed new budding vegetables. My backyard had been a squirrel haven for years. I had been feeding them in shell peanuts for years on my back porch which was the same place I had chosen for my container garden. I assume my squirrel children thought I set out a garden bar just for them. This didn’t deter me, it only made me investigate other methods of gardening and how to control my pet squirrels. My methods have improved but those squirrels are still outsmarting me!
Karen Highland, an intern in the 2018 Master Gardener Class, lives in Montgomery, AL. For more information on becoming a master gardener, visit www.capcitymga.org or email capcitymga@gmail.com.
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