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God’s Great Outdoors Navy Vet Takes Air Force Vet Mom on Epic Tour
Navy Vet Takes Air Force Vet Mom on Epic Tour of 20 States
Teresa (L) and Norma at London Bridge, Lake Havasu City, Arizona. Norma standing next to the 400-foot-tall American Flag in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Visiting this place was Norma’s “favorite thing” on the tour, according to Teresa.
A retired Navy nurse took her 95-year-old mother, a U.S. Air Force veteran diagnosed with dementia, on a 26,000-mile adventure across the United States. Together, they passed through 70 cities in 20 states, collecting stories and experiences like none they’d had before.
Teresa Lee McFarland of Lone Pine, California, is 63 years old. She retired as a Navy Nurse Corps commander and family nurse practitioner in 2020 to care for her mother, Norma Lee Lamascus, full time. Norma, who celebrated her 96th birthday on the tour, was once a registered nurse and served two years with the U.S. Air Force between 1952 and 1954.
The mom-daughter pair have since returned home from their over 10-month-long trailer tour of a lifetime and are planning to travel again, starting in July. The best part, after all this traveling, is that Norma’s dementia scores have improved.
“[I feel] humbled by the beauty and greatness of our big country,” she told The Epoch Times. “I learned that life is wonderful and that I can still enjoy God’s great outdoors at my age! Life is for living. Every moment can be a wonderful adventure if you look for it.”
Teresa added, “I learned that, with God’s help, there isn’t really anything we can’t do. Also that most strangers are kind and generous.”
Teresa and Norma with their tour trailer, nicknamed “Blessing.”
Courtesy of Teresa McFarland Norma outside the trailer. Her daughter affectionately addresses her as “a super hero” for her resilient spirit and love for life.
‘I Want to See the People I Love Before I Die’
Norma moved in with Teresa in March 2018 when she could no longer afford to keep up her home in Oceanside, California, and needed help with chores. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and life grew even harder.
“The forced isolation and travel restrictions shut down her social life,” Teresa said. “She couldn’t go to visit her dearest friends living near her former home, and five of her new friends died. Needless to say, she became despondent with grief.”
Norma told her daughter, “I want to see the people I love before I die!”
Teresa was determined to make it happen.
In October 2020, she bought a 2011 2WD Toyota Tacoma and 17-foot 1985 Aljo Aly pull trailer to fix up. Teresa oversaw the modifications herself, raising the seats 3 inches for accessibility, adding hand grips, a new heater and window, and updating the decor. By March 2021, the revamped trailer, nicknamed “Blessing,” boasted a fully functional kitchen, bathroom with shower, sleeping spaces, and a brand-new look.
“I did everything but the heater myself,” she said. With Norma fully on board, Teresa plotted a route using paper maps and an old U.S. Road Atlas to include visits to old friends, family, and even relatives whom Norma had discovered through DNA testing but never met. The pair chronicled their epic trip on a dedicated Facebook page, Norma’s 95: Big Adventure.
With a preference for quiet rural spots and natural beauty, Teresa made reservations at campgrounds ahead of each pit stop. She found military base campgrounds especially welcoming, and says life on the road was both “fun and challenging.”
“I did all of the trip planning, packing, shopping, cooking, laundry, driving and towing, set-up and take down for the trailer,” Teresa said. “My goal was to drive less than five hours each day, stop before dark, and stay at least two days at each stop. At this pace, we could both enjoy the journey all along the way.
“We remained flexible and didn’t plan ahead too much so we could accommodate unexpected mishaps, like a flat tire, and take advantage of any surprise opportunities that showed up: the public art murals, sculptures, mosaic-tiled automobiles, riverside walking paths, swimming pools, community concerts, spontaneous dancing in the grass, and the amazing beauty of God’s creation.”
Making Memories
In over 10 months, with four oil changes and
four new tires along the way, Teresa and her mother visited 20 states: California, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Missouri, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona.
In their home state of California, Norma visited her childhood best friend since kindergarten at Scotts Valley. In St. Louis, Missouri, the pair visited Teresa’s sister; Norma met her latest great-grandson for the first time in Crystal City.
Colorado heralded a nostalgic meeting.
“Norma enjoyed seeing three of her nursing classmates from 1946,” said Teresa, “and we went to Presbyterian Saint Luke’s Hospital to see if there was any interest in Norma, a 1946 graduate of the Denver Saint Luke’s Hospital School of Nursing. They gave Norma a wonderful book filled with photos and detailed history of the hospital.”
In her hometown of Lewellen, Nebraska, Norma reunited with family and old friends and met a 94-year-old third cousin for the very first time.
As the tour progressed, they kept adding new memories to their book of life.
The pair also made ample time for day trips, including Noah’s Ark in Williamstown, the Minneapolis Zoo, where Norma fulfilled a lifelong wish to ride a camel, and Sheboygan’s 400-foot-tall American flag.
They spent the holidays in Lake Havasu City, enjoying London Bridge, walking in the cactus garden, and taking the ferry to Christmas dinner at the casino. “The Arizona sunsets still warm our memories,” said Teresa.
Norma celebrated her 96th birthday in Meridian, Idaho. And in Cascade, 15 family members spanning in age from 7 to 96 hosted “Camp Grandma” for the nonagenarian birthday girl.
The Conscientious Daughter
Teresa first noticed warning signs of dementia in her mother in November 2019.
Norma had trouble problem-solving, did not use logical reasoning, and was forgetting more frequently; she had difficulty following directions of more than two steps, repeated questions already answered, and said the same things over and over again. As she became less active physically, her social life declined.
Unable to drop to a part-time schedule, Teresa retired to become her mother’s fulltime caretaker. Ironically, she believes Norma herself might have invented the “assisted living” model we know today during her career as a nurse. Teresa said: “In 1968, [my mother] bought a too-large house to provide a home-like ‘board and care’ to elderly men and women who needed help with their medication, laundry, and meals. Otherwise they were independent and on their own. The health and fire inspectors weren’t sure what to do with her, as this type of care was otherwise unheard of.”
Well-versed in Norma’s needs by the time the trailer was ready, Teresa made sure their trip was accessible. Norma uses a four-wheeled rolling walker for stability, quickly runs out of steam due to heart failure and COPD, and cannot stand without support for more than a few seconds.
It was Norma’s job to inspect every new campground for adequate bathroom facilities, said Teresa, while she set up the trailer for each stay. The thoughtful daughter carried three portable suction grab bars, a shower stool, and a hand-held shower spray with wrenches, just in case they needed them.
But during their travels, Teresa noticed that even Norma’s transport chair was too flimsy to handle the uneven trails and river walks they hoped to explore. She found a $4,000 all-terrain chair from France online, but was reluctant to commit without trying it first. Then she came across an advocacy group that provides running pushchairs for disabled athletes.
“This contact led me to Mike DiDonato of Southbridge Tool and Manufacturing in Massachusetts,” said Teresa. “He offered to let us borrow a blade running chair with trail wheels for as long as we needed it, all we had to pay was the shipping costs.”
Teresa believes that when one is faced with problems or challenges, it’s important to be curious and to ask others for ideas and whatever help they can offer, and “be Help was never far away. When Norma contracted a painful ear infection in Minnesota, they visited a local urgent-care facility with a prescription vending machine in the waiting room, getting the antibiotics they needed in the middle of the night. The Traveling Veterans Program looked after Norma throughout her recovery.
Even the trailer suffered a few health issues as the trip went on, but Teresa saved the day. She recalled: “Once the weather started to get colder in Tennessee, some of the trailer’s old pipes became frozen. I solved this issue by placing small portable heaters inside the bathroom cabinet.”
After 10 months on the road with now-96year-old Norma, Teresa feels proud of her mother for her enduring adventurous spirit, proud of herself for making the trip happen, despite obstacles, and grateful that they ignored the naysayers.
“I learned that enjoying the present is an incredible gift to myself and those around me,” Teresa reflected.
Concerned about her mother’s memory and mental health, Teresa recently got Norma’s thorough neuro-cognitive assessment done. The results were surprising. “Her score had actually improved from January 2021,” Teresa said. “I am convinced that the mental stimulation, social experiences, and travel to new places actually improved her mental function!”
Teresa, who is a member of the VA Caregiver Support Network, implores other caregivers to find support from people who understand and empathize. The “frank, funny, steady, reliable” friends in her virtual support group have made caregiving possible for Teresa, and thriving possible for Norma at 96.
“I encourage everyone to experience an adventure every day. This is important for young and old. It makes all of life much richer, fuller, and more fun,” Teresa said.
“I’m forever grateful we took this trip.”
Source: www.theepochtimes.com
CAAC coordinates services for the elderly and disabled populations and their caregivers in Autauga, Elmore, & Montgomery counties. The primary goal is to develop, coordinate, and provide services in the community that supports an active and independent lifestyle where those we serve can live and thrive. CENTRAL ALABAMA AGING CONSORTIUM (CAAC) is a part of a state-wide aging network that provides a variety of Home and Community based services to the region’s senior and disabled populations and their caregivers. CAAC coordinates services for these targeted populations in Autauga, Elmore, and Montgomery counties. The primary goal is to develop, coordinate, and support services in the community that promote an active and independent lifestyle where those we serve can live and thrive. CAAC is designated by the Alabama Department of Senior Services, the state unit on aging, as the Area Agency on Aging for the tri-county region and recognized by local governments, state agencies, and service providers as the lead aging organization of the Central Alabama area. The Consortium works with public agencies and private businesses to provide a full range of health, education and social services for older citizens and those with disabilities. Our goal is to foster independence and improve the quality of life for all senior citizens and their caregivers. For Your Free Phone Screening Call: (334) 240-4670 or toll free (800) 264-4680 or visit https://centralalabamaaging.org/
The Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts is excited to present Masterworks of Photography from the Lamar Dodd Art Center and Jared Ragland: What Has Been Will Be Again. Both exhibitions have roots in the past yet speak to our current time. Through photography, we are transported by both images of contested spaces and open landscapes and portraits of everyday people as well as figures well known in our world.
About the exhibitions on view, MMFA Curator of Art, Jennifer Jankauskas, says, "These two exhibitions help us filter the present through our past. With images of joy and hardship, beauty and the ordinary, we can celebrate the strength and resilience of our world.” Masterworks of Photography from the Lamar Dodd Art Center through July 24, 2022. Jared Ragland: What Will Be Will Be Again through September 11, 2022. www.mmfa.org
The statistics cannot be denied. Seventy percent¹ of Americans will need long-term care before they die. On average, someone needing longterm care will receive over four years of care in their home and then will go on to a facility, such as an assisted living, a memory care facility, or a nursing home for another two years. Long-term care includes assistance with bathing, dressing, eating, moving around, toileting or incontinence due to physical limitations or cognitive impairment.
The interesting dynamic is how differently men and woman tend to view long-term care, which relates to how they tend to think about risk. Harley Gordon, an influential elder law attorney, wrote a book about it, “The Conversation,” Helping Someone You Love Plan for an Extended Care Event.” He notes, “Men are wired to minimize if not dismiss risk in life. If there is no risk of a serious event happening, what consequences can there be? If there are no consequences, why put together a plan?” Whereas, he says, “women have an aversion to risk. They see the risk of serious event and the consequences of it as being inseparable.”
Gordon observes that trying to motivate men to plan for long-term care with the statistics doesn’t work because they don’t believe it will happen to them, whereas women hope it won’t but understand that the odds are that it will. He recommends that since men are most motivated by taking care of those they love, the conversation about planning for long-term care needs to focus on the consequences to those they love if they fail to act, and long-term care is needed. The cost of long-term care can be prohibitive. Genworth, in its annual 2020 Cost of Care Survey, estimated that a home health aide in the Alexander City area cost $3,432 a month or $41,184 a year. The cost of an assisted living facility in the Alexander City area was estimated to be $3,323 a month, or $39,876 a year. So, six years of receiving longterm care in the Alexander City area currently costs more than $230,000.
There are multiple ways to financially plan for long-term care, including traditional insurance, hybrid types of life insurance and long-term care insurance, long-term care annuities, self-insuring, etc. These methods will be covered in a Webinar format on Wednesday, July 20th by Susan Moore of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. at 12 p.m. Please call 334.270.1672, or email sarah@ moorewealthmanagement.com, for more information and reservations.
We conduct a variety of workshops and seminars at MWM. The mission statement of MWM is very simple: “and then some.” We attempt to do what is expected, what is required “and then some”. The Planning for Retirement workshop is part of our monthly “and then some” workshops. In addition, MWM conducts daily current events market updates that attempt to explain what is going on in the financial world. If you would like to be on the mailing list or receive email notifications of upcoming webinars, please call 334.270.1672.
Financial Thoughts with Susan Moore
By Susan Clayton Moore, J.D.
Principal of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. Susan Clayton Moore, J.D., is a financial advisor and wealth manager of Moore Wealth Management, Inc, with offices in Auburn, Montgomery, and Alexander City, AL. Susan has under advisement assets over $170 million (as of 1.21.2022) in brokerage and advisory assets through Kestra Financial and has been a financial planner for over 38 years. Contact Susan at 334.270.1672. Email contact is susan@moorewealthmanagement.com.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney or tax advisor regarding your individual situation.
Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Moore Wealth Management, Inc. https://bit.ly/KF-Disclosures
¹https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/ cost-of-care.html
July Workshop (webinar) Long-Term Care
to register, call our Montgomery office at 334.270.1672
sarah@moorewealthmanagement.com
