MEDIATION AND ROOMMATES

MEDIATION OF ROOMMATE CONFLICT

Roommate conflicts can happen at any time, but when students move into off-campus residences and increase the number of roommates they are living with, they often face more complex issues. People who start out as the best of friends may find themselves feuding over bills, food, overnight guests, cleanliness, noise, parking, pets, house temperature, parties, or alcohol/drug use. Conflict can be scary and uncomfortable, yet it can also be a great opportunity to develop and practice communication and conflict resolution skills. By maintaining open lines of communication with your roommates, you can avoid escalation by addressing issues when they arise. Here are a few tips to help with conflict:

Encourage communication and collaboration. Most roommate conflicts occur due to lack of communication. Use “I” statements to communicate any behavior bothering you, rather than judging or accusing the individual. Try to work toward a solution that is mutually acceptable for everyone involved, and be willing to recognize where you may have room for improvement.

Remember that conflicts are normal. It’s not essential for roommates to be best friends with one another, or for best friends to be roommates. In fact, sometimes it’s better not to live together in order to get a little break from each other. Be proactive in your roommate relationship so you can feel ready to talk about it when conflict begins.

20 STUDENT HOUSING GUIDE 2020 Being direct is the key. Sometimes we are afraid to hurt our roommate’s feelings, but this can also end up hurting them more in the end. Remember to stand up for your rights while respecting others. It’s not what you say but how you say it! When you are direct (and respectful), everyone involved usually benefits. Avoid escalation. We recommend avoiding the following behaviors, as they tend to escalate conflicts: • Addressing frustrations via text or social media • Getting friends/others involved in the dispute • Confronting a roommate before cooling-off • Confronting a roommate when you are still angry • Leaving passive aggressive notes. Face-to-face communication is far more effective than a white board or post-it note.

The Student Resolution Center (SRC) is a great resource on campus for roommate (or other) conflicts. Oftentimes students have a concern but don’t know how to navigate the situation. SRC can help you through Conflict Coaching, in which we meet with you one-on-one to talk through things, brainstorm solutions, and prepare for the conversation with your roommate. For students who feel the lines of communication with their roommate have broken down, SRC can offer a neutral third-party mediation to help facilitate a difficult conversation. To set up an appointment with SRC you can call 970-491-7165, request an appointment at resolutioncenter.colostate.edu, or come visit the office (501 W. Lake St, Suite A, Aggie Village, Walnut Hall). Whatever the conflict, SRC is here to help!

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