TOP STORIESTOP STORIES
NEWS: CSU hosts US Senate candidates in televised debate ONLINE
L&C: Shades of green, gold: 7 things to wear to the next CSU game PAGE 6
CANNABIS: The Collegian terpene guide: Just a whiff PAGE 7
OPINION: Burke: Dear CSU football fans: Stop leaving games at halftime PAGE 14
SPORTS: Lacrosse’s historic success influences modern program PAGE 18
A&E: Alternative pop-punk band Suitable Miss encourages inclusivity PAGE 19
PHOTO: Meet the CSU polo team PAGES 10 & 11
FOCO EVENTSFOCO EVENTS
Downtown Holiday Lights illumination ceremony in Old Town Square 5:30-7 p.m. Nov. 4
Rave Brave: A Ukraine benefit dance party at The Coast 8 p.m. Nov. 4
String Chamber Ensemble at the CSU University Center for the Arts 7:30 p.m. Nov. 8
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CAMPUS
CSU announces veterinary health complex, curriculum expansion
By Sam Hutton @sam_hut14Colorado State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences announced plans for a comprehensive expansion and upgrade to the South Campus’ veterinary medicine and education facilities.
According to a SOURCE article, the proposal, approved by the CSU System Board of Governors, outlines a $278 million plan to extensively remodel existing facilities and expand the complex to include additions such as a veterinary education center and a livestock teaching hospital.
“The new building will also have an expanded primary care clinic, which will provide additional experience for veterinary students throughout their curriculum but especially during those years where they’re learning the hands-on components of veterinary medicine,” associate CSU professor Dr. Kelly Hall said.
Currently, first- and second-year veterinary students attend classes on CSU’s main campus, while
third- and fourth-year students utilize the facilities of the South Campus. The expansion will allow the college to encompass all four years of education within the new veterinary health complex, Hall said.
“Collaboration and learning opportunities between students (will be) enhanced,” Hall said.
Associate Professor Dr. Matthew Johnston hopes the expansion will allow the college to renew and diversify the current Doctor of Veterinary Medicine curriculum by accommodating larger class sizes and a more progressive curriculum, providing students with a more comprehensive education that will serve them better in their careers after graduation.
“The new curriculum we’re developing for DVM students will be the most progressive curriculum probably around the world but definitely in the United States,” Johnston said.
“We’re building a curriculum that emphasizes ‘day-one readiness’ so that these veterinarians and DVM’s can hit the workforce ready to go.”
The curriculum will also focus heavily on providing mental health resources for DVM students, further allowing graduates to enter the workforce with a more complete education.
“We’re going to provide (students) with access to learning the skills, knowledge, critical thinking, clinical reasoning and the well-being they need to survive and thrive as a veterinarian,” Johnston said.
The expansion will also place an increased emphasis on livestock, tertiary care and clinical care facilities, allowing the university to continue its cutting-edge research in advancing animal and human health, according to SOURCE.
CSU’s CVMBS has an established history of research efforts through the One Health Institute, including studies conducted with animal patients that have led to breakthroughs in treatments for cancer and traumatic brain injuries, as well as advancements in technology used during openheart surgery, according to the OHI website. CVMBS Dean Dr. Sue VandeWoude said these efforts will
be continued after the veterinary health complex is completed.
“Provision of new and updated spaces will facilitate clinical research programs on diseases that occur in CSU veterinary patient populations,”
VandeWoude wrote. “Outcomes will enhance diagnosis and management of naturally occurring diseases of veterinary patients, which in some cases may inform similar diseases that occur in humans.”
The expansion also looks to allow the college to continue other groundbreaking research efforts
concerning veterinary education and training.
“We are hopeful that the new expansion will support investigations in veterinary educational methods, veterinary informatics and other emerging fields of veterinary clinical and translational research,” VandeWoude wrote.
Construction on the new veterinary health complex will break ground in early 2023 and is targeted to be completed by 2028.
Reach Sam Hutton at news@ collegian.com.
CSU’s Spur campus hosts 5th annual Water in the West symposium
will open Hydro: a third building focused on water.
“We started the Water in the West Symposium as an early offering of the Spur campus even though we didn’t have buildings yet, knowing that we would have this Hydro building that is coming online soon and that this is (the) kind of content we wanted to have coming out of Hydro and out of the Spur campus,” Hittle said.
Mexico, Utah, Wyoming, Arizona, California and Nevada.
“The Colorado River Compact provides water for 40 million people and contributes to the economy to the tune of $1.3 billion a year,”said Jennifer Gimbel, senior water policy scholar for the Colorado Water Center. “It’s (an) important piece of economy and our way of life as residents living on the Colorado River.”
Hittle hopes the wide array of speakers and topics will resonate with audiences and motivate them to help combat water challenges relating to both the Colorado River and other surrounding rivers.
By Allie Seibel @allie_seibel_Colorado State University’s Spur campus will host the fifth annual Water in the West Symposium Nov. 2 and 3. The symposium will host keynote speakers and panels featuring international figures in water conservation and science.
“The Water in the West Symposium is a place where people who work in various different sectors can come together and learn from one another,” said Jocelyn Hittle,
associate vice chancellor for the Spur campus and special projects. “The symposium will feature people from agriculture to business and industry, government officials, elected officials and people in investment and finance. The idea is that a lot of people (who) won’t talk to each other will have the opportunity to share ideas, successes and solutions and learn from those outside of their work.”
CSU’s Spur campus, located in Denver, opened in January and currently has two buildings as part of its scientific outreach community. In January 2023, Spur
Each year, the symposium features a theme that guides discussion. The theme for the 2022 symposium is global samples of water usage and successes.
“We have speakers from South Africa, Portugal, Israel and Canada,” Hittle said. “These are speakers who have focused on solutions that cross borders and boundaries, and I think that piece is particularly relevant with conversations about what is happening in the American West.”
The symposium intersects with the 100th anniversary of the Colorado River Compact, a document that governs the usage of water from the Colorado River in seven states: Colorado, New
At the symposium, Gimbel will moderate a panel between Edward Drusina, a former U.S. commissioner of the International Boundary and Water Commission, and Roberto Salmon of the Centro Luken de Estrategias en Agua y Medio Ambiente in Mexico. The panel will discuss challenges between Mexico and the U.S. regarding the low supplies of water in the Colorado River.
“(The speakers) are going to tell (a) great story on how they managed through challenges and how they were able to open up the negotiating table to have the states join in on those negotiations,” Gimbel said. “They’re two of my favorite guys; I call them my heroes.”
“I hope our audience takes away some ideas on how to help fight challenges — either small amount or a large amount,” Hittle said. “Since we bring together a variety of people, I hope every audience member hears a speaker that inspires them to seek a solution.”
The symposium’s goal is to foster collaboration to share information, discuss problems and solve challenges relating to water usage.
“For me, what I hope the symposium showcases (is) how much we can do and how many problems we can solve if we combine the power of human ingenuity with the power of collaboration,” Hittle said. “My hope is that we collaborate and learn from each other because that is the key to unlocking our capacity to make positive change.”
Reach Allie Seibel at news@ collegian.com.
Welcoming back ancestors: The importance of Día de los Muertos
By DJ Vicente @deejmakoOne of the most prevalent ways diversity is promoted in local communities is by observing different cultural celebrations found between community members.
These holidays carry traditions significant to ethnic communities and serve as a learning opportunity in the importance of cultural ideologies. Día de los Muertos is one such holiday.
“A lot of (Día de los Muertos) is putting joy back into something that can be perceived as so devastating,” said Jamie Rasmussen, program director at The BIPOC Alliance. “In western culture, connection to death is very separate; … in Hispanic culture, it is celebrated.”
Much of Día de los Muertos focuses on the celebration of the spiritual return of ancestors and the aspect of collective healing, giving a chance to “mourn and celebrate those who have passed together,” Rasmussen said.
“I feel like this day brings everyone together, and it gives us permission to believe in something other than life and death,” said Mayra Orozco, community
engagement coordinator at The BIPOC Alliance.
Many of the traditions practiced during Día de los Muertos center on reconnecting with those who have died. From the decoration of calaveras — sugar skulls — to public gatherings filled with Aztec dance, face painting and mariachi, the rich traditions of Día de los Muertos bridge the gap between life and death through visualizations of these ideas themselves.
One of the most important symbols are the ofrendas: altars in the homes of families honoring loved ones who have died. Ofrendas are commonly decorated with “things like favorite foods or drinks and pictures of the ancestors you want to have come visit you — ... items to welcome our ancestors back to visit for that night,” Rasmussen said.
Rasmussen gave an example of her own ofrenda, which is dedicated to her father, who died last year. Items of importance decorate the ofrenda, from photos of him to a Budweiser, a favorite drink of his, “open and full for him so that he could drink it,” Rasmussen said.
Additional items on the ofrenda
consist of pan de muerto and marigold flowers. Pan de muerto is a sweet bread pastry baked to resemble bones, according to the Dayofthedead.holiday website. Marigolds represent how an ancestor finds their way home by means of the “strong, beautiful scent,” Rasmussen said.
gives us a day to reclaim parts of our culture and parts of ourselves.”
El Centro, Colorado State University’s Latinx community support network, carries this representation through the preservation and practice of Dia de los Muertos traditions at CSU.
Michelle Cadena, assistant director of El Centro, noted the importance of Día de los Muertos to represent diverse traditions, as variations of the holiday celebrations span across different Latinx countries, such as Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador.
“Our Latinx community has different background experiences, and also there’s a lot of different traditions that are held for Día de los Muertos,” Cadena said. “They are very broad — they are very different and similar at the same time.”
“I think being part of the Latinx community and having people recognize the things that are important to your culture (and) the things that you do, … it makes you feel like you belong (and) … what you celebrate is also being seen and validated,” Cadena said.
Cadena urged non-Latinx community members to recognize the separation of Día de los Muertos from Halloween. Given Western culture’s history of appropriating the unique traditions of the Latinx community, it is important to not turn important hallmarks of culture and heritage into Halloween costumes.
“Whatever traditional costumes La Catrina wears (or) what we do for our altar are very important for Nov. 1 and 2 and not to be utilized as costumes for Halloween,” Cadena said.
Día de los Muertos symbolizes a sense of unity and representation within the Latinx community, allowing members to connect back to cultural traditions.
“It gives me a sense of belonging,” Orozco said. “Representation matters; ... it
Through Día de los Muertos, Cadena said she wants to give “visibility to a lot of traditions that are important to our community,” acting as a learning experience for people unfamiliar with the culture. It can also gives the Latinx community at CSU a home in which they connect with others through celebration.
With these considerations in mind, Cadena invited community members to learn more about Día de los Muertos and enjoy the traditions of the holiday.
“I see it as a very beautiful tradition and part of our culture,” Cadena said. “It highlights those people who we loved and who we want to continue to remember.”
Reach DJ Vicente at life@ collegian.com.
“It highlights those people who we loved and who we want to continue to remember.”
MICHELLE CADENA ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF EL CENTRO
COLORADO
Shades of green, gold: 7 things to wear to the next CSU game
By Ivy Secrest @ivysecrestA rolling crowd of green and gold fills just about every athletic event associated with Colorado State University. Zooming in on the individuals who make up the crowd reveals the outfits that reflect the spirit and personality that define the CSU community.
Fitting in with this crowd is satisfactory for most, but if you really want to up your spirit gear game, here are a few suggestions to show off your Ram pride and stand out.
1. The overalls
Something about the green and yellow-striped overalls screams game day, but you don’t have to restrict yourself to those. Decorate your own, or ask that one fashion major you know to help you Ramify your denim gear. Overalls are a great blank canvas that work in most temperatures — a necessity in Colorado’s unreliable weather. Give yourself a staple spirit gear item that will still look stylish in the cold and wind.
2. Ram horns
Twin with CAM the Ram by getting your ram horns on. Whether you make them from cardboard or buy a pair online, this iconic headwear could not be more reminiscent of CSU pride. It’s also such an easy and unique item to put together; all you need is a glue gun, some cardboard and maybe paint if you’re feeling fancy.
3. Lose the top
When that warm game day weather occasionally rolls in, some students abandon traditional clothes and simply paint on a different kind of look. Going with painting “CSU” on your buddies or painting on the green and gold are easy plans if you can tolerate the sensation of paint on your skin for a Saturday. Uncomfortable with going fully topless but still want to paint? Paint your face! A little “RAM PRIDE” painted across the cheeks is always a cute addition.
4. Beer box hats
You know Old Aggie Superior Lager, the Colorado State-themed beer? Take the empty boxes, and make that CSU pride hat. You
can go with any style that fits you, and like the ram horns, it’s an easy assembly process. While it may seem a little tacky, it’s a college kid classic. Not feeling crafty? You can always just put the box on your head and call it a day.
5. Cowboy hats
Wyoming doesn’t have a monopoly on the whole cowboy look. We used to be an agricultural school, for goodness sake — flaunt that Aggie pride, and pull out your best cowboy gear.
6. Sweaters
This isn’t incredibly unique, but the CSU sweaters are a good way to pull together any other green and gold looks you may have assembled. Even if you just pair it with jeans, this apparel makes it clear which school you’re with. And if you want to modify or add to any basic sweater, give everything from bedazzling to cutting a try.
7. Shades of green and gold
Adding some fun sunglasses — whether they be green and gold frames or little rams — can be
fashionable, functional and fun.
The Colorado sun doesn’t quit once the snow runs in, meaning for outdoor day games, shades make many appearances in the crowd. The more you can do to stand out in this case, the better.
However you choose to showcase your Ram spirit, joining the
crowd in shared school pride is a quintessential college experience. Be creative with your outfits, and be unique, but most importantly, build memories among your peers — and maybe get some compliments on your incredible ram horns.
Reach Ivy Secrest at life@ collegian.com.
The Collegian terpene guide: Just a whiff
By Grayson Acri @guy1376You may have noticed different smells and tastes associated with varying strains of cannabis. Some are more citrusy and fruity, others are more floral and woodsy and some even have the smell and taste of diesel from the gas station. What you’ve noticed are the different terpenes present in cannabis.
The term terpene is just a more scientific way to describe the aromatic compounds present in cannabis and other plants. You may have even experienced a deliberate terpene concoction if you’ve used essential oils, such as lavender oil.
Terpenes are massively present in cannabis buds. In total, there are more than 150 different terpenes in different cannabis types (making up 3-5% of the dry mass of the bud), though most of them are in quantities too low to notice, even for the most observant of stoners.
Now, onto the next question: Why should anyone care about terpenes?
Besides taste and smell, the terpenes present in different buds may be responsible for the differentiation in sensations, even if anecdotal.
“Think of it like a five-course meal,” said Francisco Pantoja, a plant
technician for a medical grower in Boulder. “It’s the sight, the smells, the taste and the effect — it’s not just about the end result, it’s about how you get there.”
This is called the entourage effect. The entourage effect is a theory about how different cannabinoids interact along with terpenes. The basic idea is that cannabinoids (mainly delta-9 THC) interact with the effects of other compounds present in cannabis (mainly CBD but also terpenes) to produce sensations different from THC or CBD alone.
The entourage effect is mostly anecdotal with varying degrees of scientific support, so take this terpene guide with an appropriate amount of salt. With that in mind, here are five major terpenes worth considering the next time you go to the dispensary.
First up is myrcene: an earthy, herbaceous, spicy scent. This is one of the most prolific terpenes in cannabis and is also found in hops, which is why beer has a spicy, earthy, peppery fragrance in more hoppy varieties. It is found in thyme, mango, lemongrass and cloves.
“It gives an earthy, sweet and musky smell with a spicy, pepper-like taste,” Pantoja said. “It produces a sedative effect that is good for pain relief, antiinflammation and anti-anxiety. … Well-known strains rich in myrcene
would be OG Kush, Blue Dream, White Widow, Agent Orange, Grape Ape and Tangie.”
Myrcene is not the only part of what makes weed smell the way it does. Another major component is linalool.
Next up is limonene. You’ve encountered this terpene if you’ve ever zested or peeled a lemon, orange or lime. “(It has) strong citrus smell and taste, and ... linalool has therapeutic qualities, so it’s good for anxiety, depression (and) stress relief and has been used to help with chronic heartburn and acid reflux,” Pantoja said.
This terpene is common in strains named after fruits or with sour in the name, such as Sour Diesel and Lemon Haze, among others like Tahoe OG.
Our next terpene is caryophyllene. “Found in cinnamon, black pepper and hops, it has a strong woody odor and is attributed with giving black pepper its smell and spicy taste,” Pantoja said.
in pine trees and rosemary, ... the taste is herbal and earthy like pine nuts. Similar to others, it is antiinflammatory — it also improves airflow and respiratory functions.”
“It is also known to make you more alert, which, unfortunately, makes this one partly responsible for some people’s paranoid highs,” Pantoja added.
Pinene is often less dominant as a terpene than the others on this list but still has strains where it shines, such as Blue Dream, Snoop’s Dream and Critical Mass.
“It smells sweet, floral and slightly peppery; with its floral flavor, too much can turn into a bitter, perfumey taste,” Pantoja said. “Its effects are strongly relaxing, similar to its expected effect when used in aromatherapy.” Linalool is more common in more floral, calming strains like Dosidos, Scooby Snacks and Zkittlez.
There are some studies that claim this terpene interacts with the cannabinoid system on its own, but that research is disputed. The main effects of caryophyllene are relaxation and anxiety reduction. “Strains high in caryophyllene are White Widow, Bubba Kush, Chemdawg, GG4 and Runtz,” Pantoja said.
Finally, to round out our (by no means comprehensive) list, there’s alpha- and beta-pinene. “Alphaand beta-pinene are very similar, but alpha is much more prominent in cannabis,” Pantoja said. “Found
This list is by no means complete nor is it medical advice. The goal here is to educate so anyone can go into the dispensary with more of an idea of what they like. All strains will likely contain some of each of these terpenes, and paying attention to what strains you prefer over others ultimately will be more informative than buying based on smell.
“Regardless if you are actively thinking about it or not, everything is going to affect how you feel at the end,” Pantoja added. “You want to have a full product, a full high. … It’s a multi-sensory experience — one that, start to finish, you should feel good about participating in.”
Reach Grayson Acri at cannabis@ collegian.com.
“All strains will likely contain some of each of these terpenes, and paying attention to what strains you prefer over others ultimately will be more informative than buying based on smell.”GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION BY GRAYSON ACRI THE COLLEGIAN OF WISDOM
Roll call: Rolling paper reviews
By Miles Buchan @buchanmilesDoobie, roach, cone or jay are all terms for the cannabis delivery mechanism known most commonly as a joint.
This magnificent method of smoking is tried and true and continues to be one of my favorite ways to ingest cannabis. Whether you are new to smoking or a vetted burner, it can be hard to know which papers will best suit your needs. That is why I took a trip to Smokey Monkey on West Elizabeth Street to pick up three different papers for a little review and comparison.
brands I chose were Willie’s Reserve, Wu-Tang and Raw.
“When it comes down to it, there isn’t really a wrong paper to pick when rolling a joint.”
Willie’s Reserve are the official papers of musician and cannabis icon Willie Nelson. These papers can be found in many smoke shops around Colorado and beyond. These thin sheets are the same size as the Raw Classic 1 1/4 papers and provide enough surface area to roll some serious cones.
While smoking these, I noticed there was no strong smell from the plumes of smoke. I found these papers to have a slight taste that was natural but musty — something to be expected from most papers. All things considered, I enjoyed the joint I rolled from Willie’s Reserve and will definitely be using them again.
There are many things to consider when picking papers, but I just went with what caught my eye, as this will often be the case when confronted with massive displays of rolling materials. The three paper
Wu-Tang’s kingsized rolling papers are a product I’ve noticed in many smoke shops but never got around to trying previously. As a longtime Wu-Tang fan, I was excited to see these officially branded papers in Smokey Monkey.
These papers are made from 100% natural hemp and are the same thickness as the other two choices but
BECAUSE I GOT HIGH
The squipe
By Guest Author @csucollegianEditor’s Note: “Because I Got High” content consists of community story submissions and does not represent the views of The Collegian or its editorial board. The Collegian does not promote underage or excessive substance use or impairment for the purpose of creating a submission.
The squipe
A few years ago, a friend and I wanted to get high and watch one of the best stoner movies: “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.” Unfortunately, he’d broken his pipe and didn’t have rolling papers. When we called to make plans, though, I was inside a King Soopers, so I bought us a butternut squash. When I got to his house, we carved a kick-ass pipe out of that thing, packed a bowl and smoked to our hearts’ content. To be honest, I didn’t get too stoned, but the experience was awesome. It
goes to show that nothing can stand between a stoner and smoking. To submit stories, email cannabis@collegian.com or fill out our Google Form, which is linked alongside guidelines in our Letter from the Editor.
a little more than an inch longer. This means that whether it is a pinner or a shell, these papers have got you and your herbs covered.
When smoking this product, I certainly picked up on a stronger taste than with the other two papers. I had a slightly burnt taste in my mouth afterward and found the hits to feel slightly harsh. These papers are high quality and allow for some big things, but I wouldn’t use them for more flavorful strains.
The Raw Classic 1 1/4 papers — and Raw papers in general — are
some of the most common papers that exist for doobie-ous ventures. Raw is a company that makes its papers with the intention of being as natural as possible, and the result is noticeable. Among other things, these papers are made from organic plant material and are GMO free, vegan friendly and burn additive free. This size works nicely for medium to large joints, but other sizes are typically available.
When smoking the little evening joint I rolled with this product, there was a considerable enhancement
in flavor compared to the other two. With this joint, the taste was much fresher and complimentary; however, the hits were just as harsh as the Wu-Tang hemp papers. I have used these papers more than any others because of their accessibility and flavor profile.
When it comes down to it, there isn’t really a wrong paper to pick when rolling a joint. Still, I hope this guide proves useful when deciding how to best enjoy your smoke.
Reach Miles Buchan at cannabis@ collegian.com.
“When it comes down to it, there isn’t really a wrong paper to pick when rolling a joint.”GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION BY CHARLIE COHEN THE COLLEGIAN GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION BY SOPHIA SIROKMAN THE COLLEGIAN
More than just a brand: An inside look at CSU polo
As one of Colorado State University’s oldest sports on campus, the CSU polo team is also one of CSU’s most decorated club teams, winning four national championships in 1990, 1991, 1999 and 2015 — all for the men’s team. In 2022, CSU polo hopes to find the same success as teams past. The team they hope to do that with is the women’s varsity team, which is currently 2-2 on the season. Their next game has yet to be announced. The team also recently partnered with Odell Brewing Co. to launch a cold IPA called What the Chukker — a play on words of what quarters are called in polo. Here are some photos from their beer launch event, their last preseason practice and their home opener game against California Polytechnic State University Oct. 1.
1. The What the Chukker IPA on a table outside Odell Brewing Co. Sept. 22. “Our advisor, Stephen Coleman, happened to know somebody at Odell, so he just planted the seed in their mind, and it just grew from there,” polo member Devon Brown said.
2. Colorado State University polo member Devon Brown rubs the face of one of the polo team’s horses Sept. 29. The horses the team uses are ranked by game fitness to prevent injury.
3. Recoletta the horse eats some alfalfa hay at Odell Brewing Co. Sept. 22. Recoletta is one of the Colorado State University polo team’s older horses at 16 years old.
4. Members of the Colorado State University polo team huddle up with assistant coach Amelia Haddad Oct. 1. “I’m seeing a lot of good things in my team and the way they’re communicating and playing together,” Haddad said about the varsity team.
5. California Polytechnic State University varsity polo member Cort Rowley hits the ball as Colorado State University player Simone Harper chases Oct. 1.
6. Colorado State University polo team horses are lead into B.W. Pickett Arena Oct. 1. The team has 26 horses in their herd. “Whenever we go and play other teams on the road, we’re riding horses that are brand new to us,” said Hannah Stock, polo club president.
7. Members of the Colorado State University polo team play their opening match against the California Polytechnic State University Mustangs Oct. 1.
8. Colorado State University polo junior varsity members Devon Brown and Bella Taylor pet Recoletta the horse Sept. 22. The team was celebrating the launch of their What the Chukker IPA with Odell Brewing.
PHOTOS BY GREGORY JAMES
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Colorado Wines
Dear CSU football fans: Stop leaving games at halftime
By Callum Burke @burkec0621Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
Colorado State University football is very important in Fort Collins.
Every weekend throughout the season, if our beloved Rams are playing at home, fans pack the stands tight and dress up in their favorite green and gold attire to cheer on their favorite college team.
Specifically, the pregame atmosphere as you arrive inside the confines of Canvas Stadium is unmatched.
Hoards of students, local fans and alumni make their way through security and are immediately met with music blaring from speakers, dancing cheerleaders, packed beer lines and shouting fans awaiting kickoff.
If you didn’t know any better, you would think it was an NFL venue — and die-hard CSU fans would argue their support is like that of a professional team.
SERIOUSLY
Unfortunately, that extreme support of our stalwart Rams seems to drastically dissipate by halftime; the same stadium that was roaring with cheer before kickoff turns to a desolate land of leftover garbage and beer cups to be picked up by custodians.
Each home game begins like any other: an abundance of supporters show up with high hopes of fetching a win, but the lust for the game goes away too abruptly.
Now, there is no denying that our football team looks a little different this year. With more than 50 new players suiting up in Ram uniforms and a new head coach, it is safe to say no one expected them to hit the ground running. With that said, fans still owe it to the players to stay for the entirety of the sporting event. After all, we are a secondhalf team.
The conclusion of our first three games of the 2022 season saw CSU only scoring in the second half. Despite all of those being losses, it is unfair to the players and staff to consistently celebrate a touchdown in a home stadium that is only half full.
So if you claim to be a CSU football fan, start staying for the second half.
It took CSU four weeks into the season to make a first-half score. Unfortunately, we lost that game by more than 30 points, but the onslaught from these teams can come from the lack of cheering and support in the crowd. No one wants
to perform in an empty venue.
It makes no sense. As a Ram fan, if you are willing to show up in time for kickoff only to sit and watch a low-scoring first half, why would you not stay for the second half to see an actual display of athleticism and talent?
Thankfully, as a fan, it is not too late to change the course of our season. Our Rams have only two
more home games left, with one including the Border War game against the University of Wyoming Nov. 12. It is dire for CSU fans to show up and pack the house at every home game, but if you have been lazy, now is your time to fix that nasty habit.
Reach Callum Burke at letters@ collegian.com.
CSU announces new university president after tireless searching
By Michael Stella @michaelstella_Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
Starting the 2022 fall semester without a university president has been tough on the Colorado State University community. That is why CSU is proud to announce its new university president, who will be filling the position after Joyce McConnell left in June.
the right decision in their pick.
The university president is a crucial role; they lead the university. No position could be more important.
In line with the diversity and equity goals of the university, the new hire checks off some unique diversity hire boxes that may never have been checked before or will ever be checked again.
Interim President Rick Miranda announced that CAM the Ram will be named the new university president and that he will be stepping down — effective immediately — to allow CAM a smooth transition.
“During a time of intense turmoil and social unrest, we thought it important to hire a president that every student could get behind,” Miranda said.
CAM is accustomed to living on his private ranch, where he is surrounded by his family, Ram Handlers and veterinarians. CAM has made the selfless decision to leave the comfort of his private ranch and move his office to The Oval. This will put CAM closer to the Administration Building, where CSU presidents have traditionally worked.
“The CSU community knows CAM as the cute sheep he is, but now they will have the opportunity to know him as their leader.”
The search was intense, and the university search committee wanted to hear from all stakeholders of CSU. The search committee knows they have made
Once the idea was presented, the decision was an easy one to make. CAM the Ram is a leader by nature, and it is only right that he gets a chance to lead the university.
When McConnell was hired as university president back in 2019, she was the first woman to be named president of Colorado State University. Now, with this hire, CAM the Ram will be the first sheep to be named president.
A large factor that went into consideration for CAM’s hiring was his popularity with the student population. McConnell had the student population split with her leadership style, but CAM is likely to unite the student body.
CAM asks that students, staff and adoring fans alike respect his space as he begins his new job.
In his introductory press conference, CAM, who is a ram of few words, was asked if he would continue his game day duties during his presidency. CAM, being the team player he is, replied, “Yes.”
Only the best of the best would have the stamina and willingness to be at a CSU football game the way CAM normally would, let alone with his new duties as university president.
The CSU community knows CAM as the cute sheep he is, but now they will have the opportunity to know him as their leader.
Reach Michael Stella at letters@ collegian.com.
“As a Ram fan, if you are willing to show up in time for kickoff only to sit and watch a lowscoring first half, why would you not stay for the second half to see an actual display of athleticism and talent?”
The top 5 worst art installations on campus
By Michael Stella @michaelstella_Editor’s Note: All opinion section content reflects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by The Collegian or its editorial board.
Colleges and universities in the United States are known for being enormous money suckers. Aside from a plethora of leadership positions, high-quality amenities and constant renovation, there is another part of universities that takes up a lot of money: art.
Colleges spend good money to have their campuses decorated with art.
Colorado State University has a number of statues around campus, and while there are a few good-looking ones, like “Newton’s Corner” and the “Ram Proud” statue by Moby Arena, where the ram’s backside is literally pointed toward the University of Colorado Boulder, the rest are awful.
Let’s go through a list of the worst art installations on campus.
1. “Dilitant Fault” tops list of awful CSU art
“Dilitant Fault” looks like a bird that can no longer fly. Placed at such an opportune location on campus, between Willard O. Eddy Hall and
Braiden Hall, you would think CSU would want a really meaningful statue here — one that inspires students sort of like “Newton’s Corner” does with its quote.
Instead, “Dilitant Fault” makes me question if it is worth it to continue making my tuition payments each month. It is an old piece of work, dating back to 1979. It is time CSU retires this statue and finds something a little more inspiring for such a high-traffic area.
2. The Clark Building loves BMX?
The Andrew G. Clark Building is home to the College of Liberal Arts at CSU. You’d think that a building that hosts degree programs like political science, economics and journalism and media communication could have tributes to influential CSU community figures, like John Straayer, for whom the Straayer Center for Public Service Leadership is named, but instead there is a BMX bike statue.
The statue is multiple bikers racing, and it is just curious that CSU would choose to put this statue anywhere on campus, let alone in front of Clark. Perhaps it is fitting that such an odd piece of art would be placed in front of the ugliest
building on campus. Perhaps with the highly anticipated renovation of Clark starting hopefully in late 2023, we can get some better art.
3. Center Avenue’s giant rocks
If you live in Aggie Village or enter campus through the south side, you’ve probably seen the giant rocks off Center Avenue by the Physiology Bxuilding. Until I downloaded the Art Central app, an app that showcases art in Fort Collins, it did not even register that this was supposed to be art.
Known as “Signal Sequence,” it is several rocks — one with a hole in the center. This is another hightraffic area that deserves something much better than what it has.
4. “Moth” in the Morgan Library
Hanging from the ceiling in the Morgan Library, “Moth” is less offensive to the eyes but leaves much to be desired. It is hard to tell that this is supposed to be a moth. The colors are pretty, but the shape is odd. In all fairness, it would be hard to hang any other art in this location, since it is hanging from the third floor of the library, but sometimes less is more.
5. “Untitled” by the Chemistry Building
This one is really confusing for a number of reasons. It appears to be two people oddly depicted in front of the Chemistry Building. Another weird piece of art in a weird spot. Campus art installations have the potential to inspire students and make campus better. CSU’s art is doing quite the opposite.
The Isaac Newton statue by the chemistry buildings is probably the most recognizable statue on campus. The quote from Newton is empowering, and the location of it is prime. The Newton statue should be the model the university follows for all of its public art.
Reach Michael Stella at letters@ collegian.com.
Smashed and rotting pumpkins.
Back pain in your 20s.
Random people in costume walking into your house.
Free drinks.
Not getting trick-or-treaters. Comfy beds.
Fall break coming up.
The upcoming winter gloom.
Anti-depressants.
Siblings who are your friends.
GOAL
Rams soccer finishes season with 4-7-8 record
By Tyler Azzaro @tylerazzaroColorado State University women’s soccer played their last game of the season against the University of Wyoming Oct. 27.
The Rams were defeated 4-0, making this their sixth shutout loss of the season. The soccer team ended its season with a 4-7-8 record.
The Rams took the stage with high spirits for their Senior Day — a day to remember and celebrate the graduates as they played in their last collegiate soccer game. But those spirits didn’t last long, as the Cowgirls dominated in the first and second halves, scoring two goals in each period.
CSU had six shots on goal, but they all came up empty as the offense struggled to score. The defense also struggled, allowing their largest deficit of the season. Redshirt junior goalkeeper Maddie Ogden allowed four goals with seven saves throughout
the game. Ogden, who took the starting role of goalkeeper late in the season, had a season total of 40 saves with nine goals allowed.
she made friends that are going to last a lifetime.
“We had a ritual before every game,” Bee said. “We would pair up with a teammate and write their name across our wrist to remind us who we were playing for.” Any time they felt down about a game, this would give them the motivation to play at a higher level.
TAYLOR BEE DEFENDERSenior defender Taylor Bee had a great season: Bee, who is from Fort Collins, originally played with Iowa State University from 2018-21. After her years as a Cyclone, she decided to play her final season as a Ram. She enjoyed her first and last season in her hometown at CSU because
The Rams have had a tough break with new rules eliminating overtime play, as they have tied in eight games this year. Previously, teams played in two 10-minute, sudden-death overtime periods, meaning the first to score won. If neither team scored, the game would end in a tie.
“I was actually happy when I first heard about the rule change,” Bee said. “Twenty minutes of extra play was a lot, but as this season went on, there were a good amount of games I felt we would’ve won if overtime was allowed.”
Two Rams earned some Mountain West Conference honors Oct. 30. Senior midfielder
Liv Layton received an AllMountain West First Team honor.
Freshman midfielder Mia Massey was named to the All-Mountain West All-Newcomer Team.
This was Layton’s first career All-Mountain West honor. She led the Rams in goals with six and tied for third most in school history for a single season. She also tied for third in conference goals with four. CSU never lost
a game in which Layton scored a goal this season.
With the Rams falling short of their goals this season, their new stadium, night games and a new squad bring high hopes for next season. The Rams will look to reset, work hard and prepare to start fresh next year.
Reach Tyler Azzaro at sports@ collegian.com.
“We had a ritual before every game. We would pair up with a teammate and write their name across our wrist to remind us who we were playing for.”MOBY MADNESS
Women’s basketball shows potential in win over Colorado Christian
spark off the bench, scoring 10 as well as tying Crocker for a game-high three steals. Boyd also scored 10 points.
The Rams added all of these pieces to a team that already features a talented senior guard in McKenna Hofschild.
Hofschild was named to a watchlist to win the 2023 Nancy Lieberman Award for best NCAA Division I women’s point guard.
She was one of only 20 watch-list candidates from around the nation.
Hofschild, who only had four points in the CCU game, looked to get her teammates involved, adding nine assists to her totals. Hofschild made incredible pass after incredible pass, showcasing her court vision against CCU.
By Damon Cook @dwcook2001The Colorado State University women’s basketball team treated fans to a win in their first game of the season, beating the Colorado Christian University Cougars 78-47 in an exhibition match.
Since it was an exhibition match, it does not count toward the Rams’ record, but it did showcase some of the Rams’ new talent this season.
Colorado State welcomed five new transfer students to their roster for the 2022-23 basketball season, including sophomore guard Kiya Dorroh from the University of Missouri, senior guard Destiny Thurman from The University of Texas at El Paso, junior forward Joseana Vaz from Casper College in Wyoming, redshirt junior guard Cailyn Crocker from the University of California, Berkeley and senior guard Meghan Boyd from the University of Denver.
Thurman said she is excited to be “playing with this team and taking it one game at a time and coming out with a win and carrying that over to conference and conference tournaments.”
Thurman was one of three players to put up double-digit points in the CCU game. Boyd and Vaz were the other two who scored double-digit points, showcasing the talent CSU added through transfers.
Thurman, who scored the most points at 13 and shot 83% from the field, looked like she could add another dynamic guard to the Rams’ backcourt. Vaz provided a
“It’s definitely an honor,” Hofschild said. “It’s not necessarily my goal (to win the Nancy Lieberman Award). I guess I’m more focused on the team aspect of winning a Mountain West (Conference) championship.”
CSU is predicted to finish third in the Mountain West Conference, behind the University of Nevada, Las Vegas and The University of New Mexico. However, the Rams have a very deep team, which will be crucial if they want to make a championship run.
“We trust a lot of kids,” CSU head coach Ryun Williams said. “We can play with some depth.”
The Rams dominated the Cougars in every statistical category except rebounds, which the Cougars outscored the Rams 44-35, and free throws, which the Cougars scored three more of with just one more attempt than the Rams. The Cougars’ rebound domination may have come off the Rams shooting 30 threes, but as the competition increases, the Rams will need to look to be better on the boards.
“The biggest thing right now is growing this team together,” Williams said. “We got some new pieces, so we just need to grow together and come into sync.”
Chemistry is something that could pose an issue for the Rams at the beginning of the season with the addition of so many new players, but they looked in sync against CCU.
The Rams will take on the Brigham Young University Cougars in their first official game of the season 6 p.m. Nov. 8 in Moby Arena. The game will be a whiteout game.
Reach Damon Cook at sports@ collegian.com.
Lacrosse’s historic success influences modern program
By Kaden Porter @kqporter5The Colorado State University men’s lacrosse program may not be the most recognizable athletic team on campus, but it is one of the most successful in recent history.
Despite being originally founded in the 1960s, the club program’s success has peaked in the last two decades. The Rams won their first Men’s Collegiate Lacrosse Association national championship in 1999 and have since taken titles home in 2001, 2003, 2006, 2012 and 2013.
“I think lacrosse has been quietly important here for a while,” said Nick Chastain, senior midfielder and a team captain. “We still have the most national championships in our league.”
CSU’s six MCLA Division I national championships mean they have the most of any team in the league’s history. One of the Rams’ conference rivals, Brigham Young University, follows closely behind with five national titles of their own.
The Rams compete in the MCLA, a national organization of non-NCAA men’s college lacrosse programs. They are part of the Division I Rocky Mountain Lacrosse Conference along with BYU, University of Colorado Boulder, University of Texas at Austin and Utah Valley University.
The current Colorado State team is rooted deep in the program’s successful history. Head coach Ryan MacDonald
and general manager Garrett Fitzgerald were both members of the 2006 team that won the national championship.
“Being part of that team is something I’ll never forget,” MacDonald said. “We made sure that there was no way that we weren’t going to win nationals. The whole team just really devoted time and effort and made a lot of sacrifices.”
“Flip (Naumburg) and I became really close friends during my time at CSU,” Fitzgerald said. “When his health was no longer allowing him to coach, I just sort of took it upon myself to help lead the program as he did.” MacDonald returned to the program as a volunteer coach in 2017 before being named head coach in 2018.
“As a player, (lacrosse) helped change my life and guide me in the direction that I needed,” MacDonald said. “When coming back to coaching, I want to give the players the experience that I had, and I want them to realize that lacrosse can open a lot of doors for them.”
“We have to make the (conference) tournament for starters, but if you win that tournament, you get an automatic bid to nationals,” MacDonald said. “There’s no better place for us to have it than here in Fort Collins and in our stadium.”
Beyond the games in Canvas, another highlight for the team is traveling for games. The team is set to travel to Florida this season.
“Traveling is the highlight; it’s the best part,” Chastain said. “You get to see all these different schools, all these different parts of the country, and you just go play lacrosse with your friends. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
team’s success but also the personal development of the team’s athletes.
“CSU lacrosse has been really instrumental in my development as an adult and a college student,” said Malcolm MacDonald, senior defenseman and a team captain. “I’ve learned life lessons (and) made connections. … You meet lifelong friends, learn how to manage your time, have fun and compete.”
For the three senior captains, the 2023 season will be their last.
“This year, I’m excited to go out with a bang,” Malcolm MacDonald said. “Our team is looking better than ever.”
The MCLA Coach of the Year Award was renamed in 2018 to posthumously honor former CSU head coach Flip Naumburg, who led the 2006 team to the national title.
“Flip (Naumburg) left a legacy that was equal parts success, program building and doing whatever he had to do to benefit the team,” Fitzgerald said.
In 14 seasons, Naumburg led the Rams to four MCLA national championships and five RMLC titles before stepping down during the 2009 season due to health concerns.
Those opportunities have come in a variety of forms for the team. Relationships with former players through the CSU Lacrosse Alumni Association have not only allowed for job connections after graduation but have provided in-season opportunities too. One such opportunity was last season’s game against BYU in Canvas Stadium — the first ever opportunity for the team to host a game in the stadium.
“It was very important for me and the rest of the alumni association to make sure that those guys had that opportunity because we never did,” Fitzgerald said.
For the 2023 season, the team is slated to play in Canvas on two different occasions. Not only will they host a rivalry game against CU Boulder but they’re planning on hosting the conference tournament for the first time ever.
Team travel also plays a key role in team bonding.
“The trips bond you quick,” said Jake Niss, senior defenseman and team captain, “especially with the guys you’re in the (hotel) room with.”
Those relationships and bonds play a foundational role in not only the
The team’s expectations are high for the upcoming season, and they hope to build on last season’s 9-6 record that ended with a conference playoff loss to BYU.
“CSU lacrosse has the potential to be great,” Fitzgerald said. “The men on the team have it in their own hands, and we look forward to watching them grow to their potential.”
Reach Kaden Porter at sports@ collegian.com.
“CSU lacrosse has the potential to be great. The men on the team have it in their own hands, and we look forward to watching them grow to their potential.”
GARRETT FITZGERALD CSU LACROSSE GENERAL MANAGER
Alternative pop-punk band Suitable Miss encourages inclusivity
By Sophia Masia @csucollegianSuitable Miss is a Denver-based alternative band looking to diversify
Colorado music scene.
The band was formed in 2019 by cousins and best friends Kelsey Gant, bassist, and Sarah Perez, lead vocalist.
“Me and Kelsey (Gant) grew up in the Denver music scene, and there were a lot of white men,” Perez said. “There’s nothing wrong with that, but we just decided to shake it
The duo wanted to be the representation they were deprived of at Denver concerts growing up.
“If they can do it, we can do it,” Gant said. “So we did it, and we started the band.”
The band is made up of five members. Accompanying Gant and Perez are Andrew Elofson on guitar, Noah Sauls also on guitar and Sulove Tripathee on drums.
Tom Hanson, the band’s original drummer, was unable to come on tour due to scheduling issues, leaving Tripathee as the substitute.
“This is my first tour with Suitable Miss,” Tripathee said. “They’ve made me feel so included.”
It’s important to each member that fans can relate to them and see Suitable Miss as the representation for women, queer individuals and people of color in the alternative scene.
“No matter who our fans are, early in the tour, we had a fan that identified themselves as they/them — transgender — and it means so much to us that we’re making a difference,” Perez said. “That’s what we’re here to do.”
According to the Colorado Census, Colorado was 70% white alone in 2020. Other popular indie bands in Colorado tend to be more male dominated, and the field itself has been run by men for a long time.
According to a Rolling Stone article, only 22.5% of top songs were created
by women in 2019. The hope from Suitable Miss is having women, queer people and people of color dominate the stages of Denver will encourage more diversity in the future.
Suitable Miss just finished their fall tour at The Coast Oct. 23 with guest performers Hospital Socks and Clementine.
“The fans were so excited for us to play, and it just meant so much for us, and it goes to show, you know, we’re making a difference in people,” Tripathee said.
Suitable Miss isn’t just bringing social diversity to the music world; according to Elofson, one of the best parts of Suitable Miss is they have music for everybody.
“If you just like music, chances are you will probably like us,” Elofson said. “There is quite literally something for everybody.”
Their funky and upbeat music plays with different genres like trap beats, breakdown, pop punk and more. The way each member puts their personality into the music, interacts with the fans and leaves room for humor in between songs makes their work a truly enjoyable listen.
Gant said Suitable Miss is already planning their return to Fort Collins. More information about where they will be playing next can be found on their Instagram.
Reach Sophia Masia at entertainment@collegian.com.
Global Village Museum celebrates Día de los Muertos with exhibition
By Emmalee Krieg @csucollegianHonoring loved ones who have died can be a somber experience for some. For others it can be a time for commemoration and celebration of the lives they once lived.
Beginning earlier this month and until Nov. 19, the Global Village Museum of Arts and Cultures is presenting a “Día de Muertos,” or Day of the Dead, exhibition. It showcases ofrendas — or altars — in celebration of the Mexican holiday.
“Part of Día de los Muertos is making death less scary for kids and people so that it’s fun and you get to see your family members again,” said Ollie Bode, collections manager and volunteer coordinator at the Global Village Museum.
Día de los Muertos is generally celebrated Nov. 1-2. Día de los Muertos originated in Mexico and is now recognized in many Latin American countries as well as the United States.
“It’s become a lot more celebrated in the United States, outside of traditional just Mexican American households,” Bode said.
The halls of the Global Village Museum are filled with altars decorated with pictures and flowers to honor loved ones who have died.
“It’s fun, and it’s family, and it’s a celebration, so death doesn’t have to be this scary thing, which sometimes it can be in U.S. culture,” Bode said.
Bode emphasized community involvement within the exhibition.
“Ours is more of a community experience — less traditional,” Bode said.
Having only done the exhibit a couple times in the past, the participation level is high.
Local schools play a big role in making the altars. Schools involved include Laurel Elementary, Coyote Ridge Elementary, Boltz Middle School, Mountain Sage Community School and the Fort Collins High School Latin American Student Alliance.
Sebastian Chiru, an intern for the Global Village Museum, commented on the hard work put into constructing the ofrendas.
“I think it’s pretty important to know a lot of the high schools and middle schools spent a lot of time coming here and kind of incorporating their own style of trying to celebrate the Day of the Dead,” Chiru said. “I find it amazing, actually, how these kids who are 14, 15 (or) 16 years old (are) coming in and just doing an amazing job.”
The Pride Resource Center at Colorado State University was another community group who
showed support by getting involved. Members of the club created an altar for Frida Kahlo and Chavela Vargas.
Putting together the altars offers insight as well as a learning experience for students.
“It lets kids learn a different way of looking at death and honoring their family members,” Bode said.
Día de los Muertos ofrendas are set up to make the souls of loved ones feel welcomed and to show them their way back home. They are decorated with marigolds (flowers of the dead), calavera (sugar skulls), candles, photographs and more to honor the deceased.
“People have been really intrigued, and they want to know what it’s about,” Bode said. Be sure to visit the exhibition before it closes and learn more about the holiday.
Reach Emmalee Krieg at entertainment@collegian.com.
Sudoku
OVERHEARD AROUND CAMPUS
By Abby FloresTODAY’S BIRTHDAY (11/03/22)
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19) You are struggling to find answers in a certain situa tion, but this is only contrib uting to more stress. Wait it out, and you will see that the
universe has been on your side all along.
TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20)
Slow and steady wins the race, but lately you have been feeling a sense of pressure to get things done. This energy is something you are not used to, but if you flow with it, you will end up learning a new skill.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20)
Someone is giving you mixed signals, and you do not appreciate it. Be sure to communicate your needs and set your boundaries straight. You do not deserve to feel drained. Embrace your positive energy this week, and you will find true happiness.
CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22)
You may feel as if people have been latching on to you for the sake of their own happiness.
Although you are sweet and want to help, take a pause this week to go into hermit mode and rest.
LEO (JULY 23 - AUG. 22)
You are creative, but some people have been doubting your abilities. Keep going, and know that you have a unique art style that is unfortunately easy for others to envy.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEPT. 22) It seems you cannot stop thinking about something that happened in the last couple of days. You may have been dealing with some sleepless nights. Meditation will help you seek what you want to know.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23 - OCT. 22) We all procrastinate sometimes, but this time you may have overbooked yourself. Use your energy to prioritize
what needs to get done first. Take it one step at a time, and you will complete everything on your list.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) This season has been all about you and stepping into a beautiful energy of truly knowing who you are and what you want. Be proud of yourself, as your hard work is finally paying off. A lover may come your way unexpectedly.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22DEC. 21) You finally decided to leave something behind, and everything is working in your favor once again. Whatever you left will actually bring you good karma and abundance, so prepare to be amazed.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19) This Scorpio season is blessing you with more
financial opportunities. You may start up a small business or start creating your own content for social media. More recognition is in the cards for you.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18) You may have trouble balancing your work and social lives this week. Do not let unrealistic expectations get to your head. Instead, embrace the chaotic energy, and let the present moment be your guide.
PISCES (FEB. 19 - MARCH 20) Analyze your dreams carefully this week, as you may experience interesting ones. They may point to something that will happen in the future.
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“Nothing made me realize how gay I was like dating a woman.”
“I’m so bloated from my three dinners.”
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“I’ll get high with you after we make out.”
“What if we made CAM look like prehistoric Jesus?”