OPINION: Seriously: LSC construction will soon reveal CAM- themed shrine, bakery

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SERIOUSLY

LSC construction will soon reveal CAMthemed shrine, bakery

GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATIONS BY AVA KERZIC THE COLLEGIAN

By Bella Eckburg

@yaycolor Editor’s Note: is is a satire piece from e Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fi ctitious/semi-fi ctitious ways. ose who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being off ended.

If you’ve frequented the north side of the Colorado State University Lory Student Center any time in these last few weeks, you’re sure to have seen the construction happening.

As I made my way to the CSU Transit Center on the fi rst day of school, I found myself puzzled when my usual staircase exit was blocked off , and I had to use the CSU Bookstore stairs. Confused, I called upon the trusty journalists employed by e Collegian to get you, the public, the answers you desire. What is really happening behind those doors? What could they be building?

Well, this last weekend, two reporters mysteriously found themselves with the keys to one of those big-ass excavators, and they lowered one of our newly recruited reporters down on a spy rig to get a closer look.

Peering through binoculars — Peering through binoculars — erm, two paper towel rolls; we erm, two paper towel rolls; we suff ered some budget cuts — a suff ered some budget cuts — a reporter was stunned to see the reporter was stunned to see the progress being made many weeks progress being made many weeks before its unveiling.

A brand new CAM the Ram-themed shrine and bakery. Before you get ahead of me, PETA: No! We are not cooking our beloved Cameron. We checked.

At this bakery, you will fi nd At this bakery, you will fi nd “Rams’ horns,” more commonly “Rams’ horns,” more commonly known as croissants, coff ee known as croissants, coff ee sprinkled with “CAM’s droppings” sprinkled with “CAM’s droppings” — cocoa marshmallows — and — cocoa marshmallows — and the option to add “chocolate the option to add “chocolate squirts” to any order, which squirts” to any order, which gloriously represent when the Ram gloriously represent when the Ram

Handlers accidentally give CAM whole milk lattes instead of his preferred oat milk. He’s grass-fed and totally vegan, and they should respect that. e bakery acts as a working shrine to CAM and features a 3,000-pound neon sign depicting his elegance. It takes hundreds of hours of labor to create something hours of labor to create something this masterful, and you should this masterful, and you should be sure to thank those working be sure to thank those working diligently on the project as you pass diligently on the project as you pass by the bus station. by the bus station.

It’s well known that our university is dedicated to loving and caring for a live mascot. It’s an important job, and making sure he lives an incredible and long life is crucial to the survival of our very school.

What might be less well known is that CAM is more than a mascot. He is the vessel through which the spirits that occupy the Andrew G. Clark Building now communicate with the school board, begging for that remodel.

When we dedicate this bakery shrine to CAM, we pledge our allegiance to him and his Rambouillet sheep brethren. e only way for us to purge the souls trapped in Clark’s walls is to fi rst take the step to make the spirits comfortable on this earthly plane.

Of course, what is more comfortable than some good bread, coff ee and sweet treats? Nothing. A bakery is exactly what this school needs, and it will soon off er a plethora of student employment opportunities. A win-win-win.

Send some love to those construction workers and consult your local cat for bread-kneading advice; you might need it if you plan on applying for a job.

Reach Bella Eckburg at letters@ collegian.com.

Green as a symbol of nature in the 20th & 21st centuries

by Maddie Christian

Color psychologist Karen Haller says that “we never pick a color without a meaning.” When you think of the color green, chances are that images of nature appear in your mind–forests, grass, houseplants, avocados. Green and nature have always been connected to some degree. In Egyptian hieroglyphs, for example, a papyrus stalk was the symbol for green.

For as long as I remember, I have associated green with nature on a more conceptual level as well. Ever heard of Green Parties, green-washing, or the Green New Deal? The color green in each of those phrases suggests that they probably have something to do with the environment and/or eco-sustainability. Many people– even if only subconsciously–are aware of this connection.

However, the color green as a symbol for the environment didn’t become cemented sociopolitically in the minds of the general public until the 1970s. The first Earth Day was celebrated on April 22, 1970, which placed the growing concern for the environment on a national platform. Around this time, the yellow-green color that is avocado became central to (fashion/graphic/interior) design trends and popular among consumers (see: 1970s wallpaper.); this has been viewed by color psychologists and researchers as a response to the burgeoning environmental movement. In the United States, avocados have grown in popularity over the past couple decades. According to the USDA, consumption of avocados has tripled from 2001 to 2018. Similarly, the color avocado, and other greens, have resurfaced in design trends and taken over social media feeds lately. Sherwin-Williams is just one of the companies that named a green hue color of the year for 2022, and they based this decision o of the observation that sustainable and organic living are becoming more important to the public.

Climate change and related topics such as climate justice have been recognized as some of the most pressing issues of the future; mass mobilized community e orts and direct action practices push for legislation and action. This public concern recalls the emerging eco movements of the 70s.

Color researcher Eleftheria Karipidi said she believes there is an explicit connection between design trends and consumers’ concerns about climate change, and that it is reflected by an uptick in use of the color green, due to its associations with nature. It may just be a coincidence, but perhaps there is some psychological explanation for the return of 1970s earthy greens into popular design trends.

Head-to-head

Two columnists go head to head to debate how the Colorado State University community should go about handling the return of the campus preachers to the Lory Student Center Plaza. One author, Michael Stella, handling the return of the campus preachers to the Lory Student Center Plaza. One author, Michael Stella, argues the student population should make their best attempt at ignoring the preachers while they yell because argues the student population should make their best attempt at ignoring the preachers while they yell because if there’s no clergy to preach to, there will ideally be less preaching. Writer Dylan Tusinski, however, argues the if there’s no clergy to preach to, there will ideally be less preaching. Writer Dylan Tusinski, however, argues the way the CSU student community has handled the preachers’ hateful rhetoric through jokes, costumes and way the CSU student community has handled the preachers’ hateful rhetoric through jokes, costumes and dancing has shown just how strong the community is when it comes to standing up to hate speech. As a free dancing has shown just how strong the community is when it comes to standing up to hate speech. As a free speech issue, it can feel diffi cult to determine the best way to handle these preacher events. Read on, and let speech issue, it can feel diffi cult to determine the best way to handle these preacher events. Read on, and let us know your stance on Twitter @CSUCollegian.

Stop giving the campus preachers what they want — a crowd Crowding the campus preachers shows CSU’s community

By Michael Stella

@michaelstella_ Editor’s Note: All opinion section content refl ects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by e Collegian or its editorial board. e campus preachers have already been out on e Plaza within the fi rst two weeks of school, spewing their nonsensical and hate-fi lled rhetoric as they have the last few academic years. at means the massive crowds of students surrounding the so-called preachers have also returned, which is exactly the problem. e campus preachers — a loose and dishonest nickname given to people who think they are accurately depicting the word of God when they are doing quite the opposite — can only survive on campus with the attention of students.

Colorado State University is a public institution. is university is built upon land that was given to us by the federal government after it was improperly seized from the Native Americans who lived here. e point is that as a public university, we cannot deny people access to the campus. It would go against the First Amendment.

Free speech on the CSU campus is a proud tradition, and it is something students should be proud of. e Stump in the Lory Student Center Plaza is a shining example of free speech, although it would be nice if it was utilized more often.

As Americans in general, we seem to have forgotten how to have productive and meaningful debates about social and political issues. Far too often, the younger generations of Americans especially fall for the trap of trying to rationalize with irrational people. e folks who come to campus to spew homophobic rhetoric are not individuals who can be reasoned with. Period. And no attempts at discourse — civil or otherwise — should be attempted.

Instead, these hateful individuals who are trying to spread an ideology inconsistent with their own religion need to be ignored. Do not give in and give them the attention they so desperately crave. It can be hard to walk by someone who is degrading and outright hateful to minority groups of the CSU population. As Americans and humans in general, we must always be there for those who are targets of discrimination and hate from those of advantaged places. When massive groups of students form to heckle the campus preachers — a treatment they certainly deserve — the preachers win. ey gain the advantage. What if they were ignored by every single student who walked by? What if they came to CSU for weeks on end and no one paid an ounce of attention to them? If this was the reception they “In the same way a fi re needs fuel to grow, if we do not received every time they stepped foot on this campus, most students provide the fuel to the preachers, their would have no idea who they are. ey would have agenda will die out — as it should.” no audience and no platform to disseminate their hateful speech. In the same way a fi re needs fuel to grow, if we do not provide the fuel to the preachers, their agenda will die out — as it should. ere is no place for the wannabe preachers and their backward, discriminatory speech, but as long as CSU stays a public school, the student population needs to fi nd an eff ective alternative to crowding the preachers. It is the same human behavior that occurs when you see a car crash on the side of the road and want to slow down and see what happened: When there is a mass of students gathered on the LSC Plaza, more are certain to join. As more and more curious students pass, the compounding eff ect goes into full force, and the preachers have exactly what they crave: a clergy to preach to. Reach Michael Stella at letters@collegian.com. “Not only does the lighthearted response undermine the preachers’ homophobia, racism and sexism, but it also builds a stronger community than almost anything else on campus.”

By Dylan Tusinski

@unwashedtiedye Editor’s Note: All opinion section content refl ects the views of the individual author only and does not represent a stance taken by e Collegian or its editorial board.

Keith Darrell and Shawn Holes have become recurring characters on the Colorado State University Lory Student Center Plaza. ey show up at the start of every semester to preach their bigoted interpretations of the Bible, spouting homophobic, sexist and racist rhetoric at students on their way to class. e preachers almost always draw a big crowd. People show up to earnestly ask questions, shout back at the preachers and — most importantly — make fun of their hateful rhetoric.

Spider-Man has made appearances; people in blow-up unicorn costumes have played out dance routines; breakdancers have come out and performed. CSU students have started taking the preachers less seriously, and the crowds have become less about the preachers’ bigotry and more about the antics surrounding them as a result, which is a very good thing.

By making fun of the preachers in such creative and unique ways, the CSU community has undermined any credibility the preachers may have had. Rather than playing into the preachers’ apparent savior complexes, CSU students have found a uniquely creative way to subvert their apparent bigotry.

I’ve written before about how comedy is often the best response to bigotry, and I stand by that. e university has repeatedly affi rmed the preachers have the right to be on campus, which has drawn lots of scorn from the student populace. If CSU’s administration doesn’t care enough to act on the hatred students are experiencing on campus, it makes sense for students to take matters into their own hands.

Now, to be fair, in a perfect world, the preachers wouldn’t have a crowd. In a perfect world, the preachers wouldn’t even be there to preach bigotry at all. But we don’t live in a perfect world — we live in a world where people want to argue and yell over whether or not gay people are going to hell, and we live in a world where people want to laugh at and make fun of the preachers.

I think we ought to embrace the reality of the situation. I think we ought to focus our eff orts on making people smile rather than ignoring the problem altogether. Not only does the lighthearted response undermine the preachers’ homophobia, racism and sexism, but it also builds a stronger community than almost anything else on campus. Students come together to rally against hate more than they rally for sports teams, campus events or school spirit. Canvas Stadium often empties out by halftime, Moby Arena spends most of its time with empty seats and many other school-sponsored events have relatively low attendance. e preachers, on the other hand, keep people out there all day.

People skip class to hold up signs, make treks on and off campus to grab their pride fl ags and sit for hours in the hot sun to poke fun at the preachers. I can tell you fi rsthand I felt a stronger sense of community within the preachers’ crowds than I ever have at a CSU football game, frat party or other local event. at sense of community simply doesn’t exist without the campus Spider-Men, the unicorns or the crowds surrounding them. at sense of community is also the strongest antidote to the bigotry the preachers are trying to instill in our student population. And truth be told, I’d much rather see a united crowd of smiling faces and funny signs than a rush of students refusing to stomp out hate on their campus.

Reach Dylan Tusinski at letters@collegian.com.

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