Building your brand

AS A PARENT OF a middle school girl—and former middle school girl myself—I am well aware of the seeming importance of brands and fashion. I forgot how expensive said brands and clothing items are, however. I also forgot that off brands are not acceptable replacements in most cases.

I remember in middle school when the coveted Nike style shoes of 1992 were all the rage but I was only allowed to get a pair of LA Gears. It’s amazing I survived adolescence at all.

Yes, the conversation of brand-name clothing for our kids is rooted heavily in privilege. Many families can only dream of brand-NEW much less brand-name clothing. Nonetheless, it seems to me that looking a certain way that aligns with the developing personal brand seems to be as important as it was in the ‘90s.

Plus, the styles seem as ridiculous as they always have been. Kids walk around wearing tall socks with their Crocs feeling like fashion royalty while we parents wrinkle our noses. THAT’S what’s cool? Ha.

I think it’s developmentally important for kids to feel uncomfortable and to learn how to cope with that discomfort. A few wellplaced name-brand items can ease the rocky social path of adolescence. Being teased is part of life and we need to be able to handle it. But where do we draw the line between teasing and bullying?

The No. 1 job of an adolescent is to develop an identity among his or their peers. Brand names or stylish clothes in a general sense—when not used as a social crutch—can certainly provide a foundation on which kids can build feelings of normalcy.

Wearing brand-name clothing is important to lots of teens and giving into buying a few unreasonably-priced items in a popular brand can help your kid feel at ease and part of the group. They can get lots of “social cred” without breaking your bank on an entire wardrobe of brand names. Does identity and being included come from what we wear? Of course not. But when we’re 13 years old, it’s a part of that concept whether we like it or not. It seems like a pretty easy shortcut to acceptance that only helps create a foundation for the REAL ways we build our identities and social circles: personality, values, senses of humor and more.

I don’t want my kid to build her identity and image around what she wears, but the reality is that life does, in fact, demand a certain outfit sometimes. Why pretend it doesn’t?