AS WE GROW

Safely social

Striking a social balance during the pandemic

LYNN U. NICHOLS

When it comes to letting kids socialize during the pandemic, you’ll hear a wide range of advice. Some people say keep kids and teens inside and allow only virtual friend visits. Others say let kids go about business as usual without restrictions. As always, the voice of reason is somewhere in the middle.

Let’s start by acknowledging some truths and setting some realistic ground rules. Can we agree to take politics out of the pandemic? The pandemic is real. It does kill people. And it’s likely not going anywhere until we have a vaccine.

The next logical step is to adopt rules to live by to keep our kids safe. Sticking to a few non-negotiable rules is best, like: wear a mask inside in public, wash your hands whenever you come home from somewhere, and stay a few arm lengths away from friends when playing or hanging out. Those acts alone will do a lot to control the virus and keep your kids from catching it and spreading it to more vulnerable adults.

With teens, it’s a little trickier. They are a lot more independent. Start by requiring they wear their mask in cars with friends and that most of their get-togethers occur outside, especially if they want to be in groups. If they are embarrassed to follow these rules they can always blame their parents. Being firm and not wishy washy in your rule setting is key. Also, let them know you expect them to follow the rules established by public places like movie theatres, restaurants, stores, and the mall.

Allow kids a “bubble” of friends that all agree to limit their exposure to other kids except for those in the bubble. While this might feel too risky for some parents, others find it useful to give kids a chance to socialize and avoid isolation. The longer this pandemic goes on, the less video gettogethers are cutting it for many families.

Some suggest limiting your kids’ bubbles to 10, or preferably fewer, people.

Yet, keep in mind that bubbles are still risky. Maybe kids get together with their bubble only once a month, preferably outside, and otherwise hang just with one best friend from the bubble. It’s also wise to have some ground rules for the bubble. At the very least, if someone has symptoms, or someone in their family has COVID, they obviously need to pass on the get-together no matter how badly their FOMO is.

Do pandemic bubbles feel too risky? If so, compromise between sheltering in place and letting go of the reigns completely, by getting creative. Help kids plan a movie night on the deck for a few friends or cousins with a firepit to keep warm and a sheet as a screen hung on the side of the house. Or, go old school and help your kids set up touchless tag games in the yard or a neighborhood park. Another idea is to encourage them to learn a new non-contact sport, like tennis, with one friend, or suggest they jam outside with a schoolmate who is also in band or plays an instrument. Friends can also take bike rides or walks through the neighborhood together. Be willing to drive them to meet friends for quick get-togethers. Touching base for an hour while you grocery shop goes a long way to helping them feel they are still connected to friends.

Another super safe idea is helping kids set up a Netflix Party so they can hang out with friends and watch a movie safely. Netflix Party is a free Google Chrome extension where the playback of a film is synchronized with friends. It includes a live chat in the sidebar for comments.

With winter coming there are fewer opportunities to hang outside, but don’t let the cold stop you. Maybe this is the year you take up cross country skiing as a family, or find the best sledding hills in town and encourage kids to meet their friends there on snowy Saturday mornings. And heck, Halloween is easy. It already involves masks and outdoor fun.