PRESIDENT’S PERSPECTIVE - August 2023

Well behaved leadership

Are professional women still criticized for not being ladylike?

I have a small piece of art resting on a lamp in my office. It sits just behind my computer and is purposefully well within my line of sight. The quote by Eleanor Roosevelt simply reads, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” When I found the index-card-sized piece at a local shop, I gently picked it up, tucked it into my basket, and felt a burning sting behind my eyes.

The quote is especially on my mind right now as we are in the throes of planning an impactful conference for those who support, champion and believe in professional women – Pow(H)er. As I think about the women attending, I can’t help but think about all the creative genius, productivity or problem solving we lose when women “behave” themselves. I relate to their challenges because, as the first female president of the Rockford Chamber, I’ve been told to “behave” countless times over the past year. And it’s taken its toll.

Being a woman in leadership is not easy. It never has been. But, with all the assumed progress for professional women, it’s often taken for granted that women are treated professionally and as equals by well-intended business leaders. Certainly, everyday leaders in a mid-sized, Midwestern community like Rockford understand and appreciate the value women leaders bring to the table, right?

I don’t think anyone tells men to be well behaved. But I’m guessing the woman leader grabbing coffee from Meg’s, picking up her kids from the local daycare, or sitting next to you at your next non-profit board meeting has been told… and told often.

So, what does it look like to be a misbehaving professional woman? What earns you a professional timeout – being excluded from meetings and decisions –or a reputation as a rabble-rouser? Turns out, things that men do All. The. Time. with very little, if any, repercussions.

In my experience, I’ve been told to behave when asking questions about difficult decisions, sharing contrary opinions, using direct language, and showcasing industry knowledge. Holding people accountable and expecting transparency has gotten me “in trouble” a few times, too.

In a 2021 article published in Frontiers in Psychology by authors Margaret M. Hopkins, Deborah Anne O’Neil, Diana Bilimoria and Alison Broadfoot, it was found that “women… continue to face significant inequities in the assessment of their leadership performance and their leadership potential. Gender bias in the perceptions of leadership remains a persistent hurdle for women to overcome; and the resulting differential impact on women’s careers will likely be exacerbated as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic which has resulted in many women stepping away from the workforce. Whether women demonstrated peopleoriented, relational skills such as those valued for contemporary leadership or whether they exhibited achievementoriented behaviors, there was a negative impact on their leadership assessments.”

It’s important to me that we shine light on difficult situations occurring in our community. Because woman after woman that I have talked with has experienced or is experiencing a “behavioral assessment” on her leadership. And it’s hurting our businesses, our community, our country.

Women leaders deserve to be valued. To be heard. To be respected. Professional women deserve to have their “behavior” taken off a pedestal and their merits, professional acumen and skills put in the limelight instead. I don’t necessarily plan to start “behaving” anytime soon. It’s a disservice to myself and to all other women. Shrinking myself for the comfort of others can’t be the path to leadership. Well behaved can’t be the guidepost by which we measure the merit or effectiveness of women leaders. It wasn’t the measure for 111 years of Chamber history – it certainly shouldn’t be now that a woman is at the helm.

I am so proud of the way the chamber is working to support professional women. While there is plenty of opportunity still left untouched, we understand the value they bring to our business community. I invite all women – well-behaved or making history – to join us for Pow(H)er. It’s November 16 at Prairie Street Brewhouse. I can’t guarantee good behavior, but I can guarantee engaging conversations, space to ask questions and room to let your expertise shine.