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Talking to Your Daughter About Menstruation IT ’S A CONVERSATION YOU NEED TO HAVE By Martha Evans Sparks, Staff Writer What women tell their daughters about menstruation seems to be a generational thing. If you were born 65 or more years ago, your mother either told you nothing or gave you a lecture in such detail that you had no idea what she was talking about. If you were born in the 1990s or later, your mother probably told you all about it in terms she understood. Maybe you understood, maybe you did not. Most teenagers agree it would be easier to postpone high-risk activity if they had more open, honest conversations with their parents. Telling your daughter about menstruation before she has her first period is near the top of necessary mother/daughter conversations and could ease the way for more in-depth talks as she grows older. Menstruation, or the menstrual cycle, is the monthly flow of blood and cellular debris from the non-pregnant uterus. It begins at puberty in all women. The bleeding, often referred to as a period, usually lasts from three to seven days. A woman’s first menstrual period may come as early as 8 years of age, though age 11 or 12 years is more usual. Occasionally a girl will not menstruate until as late as age 16 years. Some menstrual discomfort is common; sometimes intensely painful cramping
occurs. The onset of menstruation is the body’s way of announcing it is mature enough to incubate a baby. Menstrual periods cease permanently usually between the ages of 45 and 55 years, a stage of life called menopause. Most women say they took menstruation casually as youngsters, accepting their periods as just a normal part of life. For some young girls, however, it comes as a shock. By the time your daughter is 8 years old, you should have begun discussions with her about this important topic. As her mother, try to remember that you probably felt the same way she does – appalled and intrigued – when you first heard about menstruation. One good way to start a discussion about menstruation with a young girl is to create an occasion to walk past a display of sanitary napkins or tampons in a store. Ask a casual question about whether the girl knows what these products are used for. Bear in mind your child may have already heard some things from her friends. But whatever her level of knowledge, as her mother and true friend, be open, factual and truthful.
In the conversation, it may be well to introduce her to a new word – puberty. Tell her it means her body has entered a new stage of growth and change. One of the changes puberty brings is the beginning of some bleeding that will come from an opening in her lower body. Be sure to use correct language, never cute or crude euphemisms. You could end the discussion by purchasing some sanitary products for future use. This is not a one-time conversation. It should be an ongoing discussion. Watch for teachable moments. Be an “askable,” accessible parent. Be ready to answer questions such as, “Do boys have periods, too?” Assure your daughter you are there for her if she has cramps, heavy periods or more questions. She should know she will get honest answers from you and no question is considered dumb or off limits. Laying a good foundation of open conversation with your daughter now will make it easier when you move on to discussions that may include warnings against high-risk activity, including premarital sex.
As her mother and true friend, be open, factual and truthful.
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