Living Well 60+ March/April 2019

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A RESOURCE GUIDE FOR YOUR GENERATION MARCH / APRIL 2019 VOL. 15 ISSUE 1

ENTERTAINMENT • HEALTH • BARGAINS • LIFESTYLE

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From Downsizing to Rightsizing

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Contents

March/April 2019

5

Dealing with Ageism

7

REAL ESTATE: From Downsizing to Rightsizing

8

STAFF WRITERS Angela S. Hoover

Jamie Lober

Jean Jeffers

Lisa M. Petsche

Frank Kourt

Charles Sebastian

ROCK POINT PUBLISHING Brian Lord / Publisher David Bryan Blondell / Golf & Special Sections Director

TECHNOLOGY: Fun with Facebook

Jennifer Lord / Customer Relations Specialist

11 ELDER LAW: Estate Planning After the Death of a Spouse

Barry Lord / Sales Representative Anastassia Zikkos / Sales Representative Kim Wade / Sales Representative

12 HEARING WELL: Signs and Consequences of Hearing Loss

Janet Roy / Graphic Designer Website & Social Media PROVIDED BY

13 Recovering From Depression

Purple Patch Innovations Living Well 60+ is a proud product of

16 EVENTS CALENDAR 18 SENIOR SERVICES DIRECTORY 22 FAMILY VISION: Old Eyes: Presbyopia 23 Do You Need a DNR Order? 25 FUNERAL: Mourning: an Essential Part of Healing 26 CAREGIVING CORNER: Keep Your Spirits Up to Prevent Burn Out 28 THE LATEST TREND: RVing for Seniors

FROM THE

Dear Friends, I love to travel! I have been blessed to visit some amazing places, including Paris, France; Dubai; and China. In January, I went on a study tour to Greece and Turkey. When I was an undergrad, my minor was Classical Civilizations, so I read a lot of Greek tragedies, dramas and other classics, including Plato’s works and all the myths. In one class the

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30 Have You Taken Time to Brighten Someone Else’s Life?

EDITOR

Living Well 60+ can be found in 19 central Kentucky counties and is distributed to over 900 locations, including senior centers, retirement homes, hospitals, clinics and specialty shops. You can also pick up your FREE copy of Living Well 60+ at most grocery and convenience stores as well as many restaurants throughout Central KY.

Tanya J. Tyler, Editor Share your story: tanyaj@twc.com

professor talked about the omphalos, a big egg-shaped rock located at what the Greeks considered to be the center of the world. I decided someday I would see the omphalos and the Parthenon and the Acropolis, so when this trip came up, I knew I had to go. It was very exciting to go to another country and soak in its atmosphere, learn about its history and heritage and visit in person places and things I had only

e-mail brian@rockpointpublishing.com © Copyright LIVING WELL 60+ Magazine 2019. All rights reserved. Any reproduction of the material in this magazine in whole or in part without written prior consent is prohibited. Articles and other material in this magazine are not necessarily the views of Living Well 60+ Magazine. Living Well 60+ Magazine reserves the right to publish and edit, or not publish any material that is sent. Living Well 60+ Magazine will not knowingly publish any advertisement which is illegal or misleading to its readers. The information in Living Well 60+ Magazine should not be considered as a substitute for medical examination, diagnosis or treatment.

read about or seen in pictures. I want to travel even more, and that’s my wish for all who are Living Well 60+. There’s a whole big world out there that is yours for the asking. Don’t just sit there – let’s pack up and go! Live life like you mean it!

Tanya


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March/April 2019

5

Dealing With

Ageism

CREATE AN ECOLOGY FOR SUCCESSFUL AGING To age more effectively, combatting ageism and associated stereotyping means creating an ecology for successful aging.

by Dr. Tom Miller, Staff Writer

Today, most people can expect to live well into their 60s and beyond. By 2050, the world’s population aged 60 years and older is expected to double to nearly 2 billion people, 80 percent of whom will live in low- and middle-income countries. Ageism is a perception of how older human beings are treated and respected in society. As with other social issues, ageism requires an awareness of one’s own perceptions and behaviors. Ageism exists in a variety of life’s arenas, including the world of work at many levels; in public places and spaces; and even in grocery stores, shops and health care settings. Ageism can be found in rules, regula-

tions, ethical and moral behavior and cultural attitudes and values. The aging process is embedded in social, political, psychological, economic and biochemical processes and is complicated by both physical and mental conditions. The Alliance for Aging Research (2019) has warned that unless ageist attitudes are recognized and addressed, aging Americans will continue to face discrimination. The Alliance offers some recommendations to address this problem within the healthcare community, including more training and education for healthcare professionals and the larger community about geriatrics. They also urge greater inclusion of older Americans in clinical trials, as well as greater utilization of appropriate screenings and preventative measures for them.

To age more effectively, combatting ageism and associated stereotyping means creating an ecology for successful aging. According to the Communication Ecology Model of Successful Aging (Fowler et al., 2015), dealing with the aging process is a matter of proactive coping. As they age, people should create the environments in which they can age most successfully. Society must create an ecology that promotes healthy aging through education and empowerment. Changing the course of ageism requires the input of proactive individuals who are willing to work with scientists and healthcare professionals to promote needed research to address ageism and discrimination in society. In adAGEISM Continued on Page 6


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AGEISM continued from Page 5

dition, this work entails engaging the legal community and the state and federal levels of government to frame legislation to improve quality of life and assure victims of aging discrimination receive justice. Professional organizations such as AARP provide legislative initiatives and educational strategies for countering age discrimination. Many European countries are well ahead of the United States in designing strategies and values for an aging population. In some countries, the aging population can count on pensions as well as health and social care services, while in other countries there is little or no support for this group of human beings. As you age, you should strive to be open to learning about the issue of ageism and solutions and serve as a mentor and activist who may benefit from problem-based education regarding ageism. Keep up to date on SMART tech-

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nologies and use the Web to your advantage to track issues affecting you and others world-wide. The health of older people is unfortunately not keeping up with their increasing longevity. The World Health Organization (WHO) notes great diversity in health and functioning in older individuals and marked health inequities among the elderly. In response to a call from member states, WHO is leading and working with other stakeholders on a Global Campaign to Combat Ageism that aims to build a world for all ages by changing the way we think, feel and act towards aging. More information can be found on WHO’s Web site (www.who. int/ageing/ageism/campaign/ en/). Negative attitudes and stereotypes about older adults as frail, out of touch, burdensome or dependent are ubiquitous. WHO did an analysis recently using world values survey data of 83,034

adults from 57 countries. It found a pattern of low respect for older adults. Sixty percent of participants reported older adults are not well respected. Stereotyping and discrimination against individuals or groups on the basis of their age continues in the 21st century. Unlike other forms of discrimination, ageism seems to be socially acceptable and largely undetected and unchallenged in many communities both here in the States and around the world. Sources and Resources

Alliance for Aging Research (2018). Ageism: How Healthcare Fails the Elderly, Washington DC: U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging. www.agingresearch.org Fowler, C., Gasiorek, J., and Giles, H. (2015). The role of communication in aging well: Introducing the communicative ecology model of successful aging. Communication Monographs, 82(4), 431-457. doi:10.1080/036

37751.2015.1024701 Officer, A., Schneiders, M.L., Wu, D., Nash, P., Thiyagarajana, J.A. and Bearda, J.R. (2016). Valuing older people: Time for a global campaign to combat ageism. Bulletin of the World Health Organization, 94(10), 710. World Health Organization (2019). Ageing and life-course: Global Campaign to Combat Ageism. www.who.int/ageing/ ageism/campaign/en/. About the Author:

Thomas W. Miller, Ph.D., ABPP, is a Professor Emeritus and Senior Research Scientist with the Center for Health, Intervention and Prevention, at the University of Connecticut, and Professor, Department of Gerontology, College of Public Health, and Department of Psychiatry, College of Medicine, at the University of Kentucky.

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March/April 2019

REAL ESTATE

From Downsizing to Rightsizing Article Provided by The Justice Group at Rector-Hayden Realtors®

What was the most overwhelming or difficult part of owning your own home?

Ms. Velda was 67 years old when she downsized the first time. Yes, she was smart enough and brave enough to downsize twice! It is important to realize the “right-sized” home changes as your lifestyle changes. Velda’s first move was to a smaller, one-level home where she lived for several years. Then, when the home was too overwhelming to maintain, Ms. Velda moved again to a place where some of her friends lived. This second home was a condo with a homeowners association to take care of the things that were once so overwhelming for her, such as exterior and yard maintenance. The condo also had a clubhouse for community activities and gatherings to help residents stay involved. To avoid being overwhelmed by all the maintenance of a home that is too large for you or enduring the frustration of moving into a home that is too small, it is important to evaluate your current needs and goals. It is also wonderful to make your own choices about what to sell or give away instead of having someone else throw away your prized possessions. Take some advice from Ms. Velda: Don’t wait until you are confined to a bed to move. You want to live and enjoy your new home. Make the choice while you are healthy and you can decide things for yourself. Here are some more insights from Ms. Velda:

All of the cleaning and home maintenance. I am meticulous and I wanted to keep everything maintained and in good working order. Also, I realized I wouldn’t want my kids to have to get the work done. Did you ever feel your home had just gotten to be too much for you?

Yes! There were rooms I was not using! Sometimes my grandchildren would stay but then everyone was grown and the extra bedrooms were not used. When did you realize you needed to downsize?

One cleaning day I realized it was too much: keeping the windows clean, the storm door, the gutters and the mowing and trimming the bushes. Seeing the work that needs to be done puts a lot on your shoulders that you don’t need. I realized I wasn’t getting younger. What are the benefits of living in a home that is the right size?

I don’t have to worry about upkeep of my home. I have the opportunity to build relationships with people of similar age and similar interests. It’s a nice neighborhood close to everything.

THE JUSTICE GROUP AT RECTOR HAYDEN REALTORS® 1099 Duval Street • Lexington, KY 40515 • 859-338-6099 TheJusticeGroup@rhr.com • TheJusticeGroup.rhr.com

How did you prepare your home to downsize?

De-cluttering! I had a yard sale and I was fortunate; my daughter was very helpful in assisting with getting rid of items that I didn’t want and giving away items. Do you think it was helpful using professionals during the move, such as a Realtor?

Yes, The Justice Group helped with preparing my home to sell so I was able to make improvements that brought the most value. Also, The Justice Group found my new home and coordinated the move. In their experience, The Justice Group has noticed some common concerns for folks who are downsizing: the difficulty in getting rid of stuff, the realization about how often they need enough beds for visitors and challenges about how well they’re keeping up with cleaning and maintenance chores. Sometimes mobility issues have come into play as well. No matter what specific concerns you have, it’s important to realize there are terrific professionals that can assist you with your goals. Most importantly, the long-term benefit of rightsizing is a happier life for you.

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TECHNOLOGY

Fun With Facebook Stay in touch with friends, family on social media site

About one quarter of the world’s population is on Facebook – that’s 1.8 billion users.

by Angela S. Hoover, Staff Writer

Facebook is a fun, convenient way to stay in touch with friends and family. Whether they live around the corner or in a distant corner of the world, Facebook lets you keep up with their daily activity. You can also find old friends and colleagues or make new friends with shared interests. About one quarter of the world’s population is on Facebook – that’s 1.8 billion users. To open a Facebook account, you just need an email address or a cell phone number. Go to www.facebook.com, click Create a New Account and fill in the fields. After you click

Sign Up, you will receive a text or email, depending on which you used to sign up, to finalize the creation of your account. You can also create a Facebook account for a business by clicking the blue text that reads “Create a Page for a celebrity, band or business” below the green Sign-Up button. Next you’ll be prompted to import your email contacts to help build your friend list. On the screen that reads “Step 1: Find Your Friends,” follow the instructions or click Next on the lower right side. You’ll now see a message: “Welcome to Facebook, [Your First Name].” Upload a photo that will be your profile picture. It appears next to your name on Facebook. Step 2 on this page allows you


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to manually add people, searching either for their name or email address. Be sure to try Step 3: Take a Privacy Tour. On any of these pages, click the blue hyperlink to learn more and adjust certain settings. On your Profile page, you will see the headings Timeline, About, Friends, Photos, Archive and More. The Timeline, also called your News Feed, is what you see when you sign into Facebook. It shows all the activity of all your friends and other pages you have chosen to follow. In the About section, you can fill out information about yourself. You can add workplaces, schools, your current city, your hometown, other places you’ve lived, details about yourself and life events. In the Search bar in the upper left, you can search for friends, groups, associations, schools, business, areas or topics of interest and hobbies. In the left panel you can Explore Groups, Pages and Events. The black icon of two people is Friend Requests. The icon that looks like a light-

March/April 2019

ning bolt is Messages. The bell icon is for Notifications; it shows activity on posts and pages you’re connected with. The question mark icon is the Help drop-down menu. In Settings you can access your privacy settings by selecting Privacy on the left side. You’ll see how each activity is set. If you wish to change the setting, click Edit and then click on the down arrow in the text box to choose the option you want: Public (anyone, even if you’re not friends with them, can see your activity), Friends; Friends Except (here you can select those on your friends list you don’t want to see your activity); Friends of Friends; Specific Friends; and Only Me (no one will see any of your Facebook activity). You can make your first post from your Timeline or Profile page. A fun first post is a selfie, a photo with someone else or a picture of something special to you. Write about the photo and indicate this is your first post on Facebook. It will open a whole new sphere of opportunity for you.

A fun first post is a selfie.

Trusted Name. Proven Results. From Downsizing to Rightsizing, The Justice Group can help prepare your home to sell and locate your new home! Contact us today to learn how.

The Justice Group At Rector Hayden Realtors®

1099 Duval Street • Lexington, KY 40515 • 859-338-6099 TheJusticeGroup@rhr.com • TheJusticeGroup.rhr.com

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“Alan said the best part of hearing well again was being able to enjoy conversations with his granddaughter. Audiology isn’t just my career; it’s my privilege.” — Dr. Tiffany Brewer

A R E H Call today to schedule your appointment. Read our article “Signs and Consequences of Hearing Loss” on page 12 of this issue.

204 Bevins Ln. B. | Georgetown, KY 40324

(502) 642-4322 www.commonwealthaud.com


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March/April 2019

11

ELDER LAW

Estate Planning After the Death of a Spouse

by Bluegrass ElderLaw

In the midst of the grief and stress of losing a spouse, it is hard to think about making any big decisions and planning for the future. However, it is very important for the surviving spouse to take action for their own protection and peace of mind. Administration of the deceased spouse’s probate estate.

In many cases, a probate is not necessary when the first spouse passes. Any assets owned jointly or with beneficiary designations should not need court administration. If a probate is necessary, hopefully all of the deceased spouse’s estate documents were in order prior to their passing. The probate process is different in every state, depending on whether or not the deceased had a will, and the length of time it takes to complete the process varies. In many cases, the surviving spouse is listed in the will as the Personal Representative/Executor of the estate. Even if they are not listed in the will or there is no will, the responsibility still generally falls

on the surviving spouse who usually has the most knowledge of the assets. An experienced probate attorney can greatly assist in the process and help relieve the stresses of navigating the court system. Durable Financial/Legal Power of Attorney.

an individual is unable to make health care decisions for themselves. The health care agent does not have any power to make decisions unless the principal’s decision-making ability is incapacitated. Copies of this document are often given to the primary care physician and are put on file with local hospitals.

to review all beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, safety deposit boxes and bank accounts to be sure the deceased spouse is no longer named on them. Every family dynamic is different. Their goals and their needs are different. Consult an experienced attorney to guide your family through the planning options after the death of a spouse or any close family member.

In this document, an individual HIPAA Releases. (the “principal”) appoints The Health Insurance another person (the “agent”) to Portability and Accountability act with the principal’s authority Act of 1996 (HIPAA) delineates to perform acts specified in the restrictions on releasing an the document. This document individual’s personal medical remains valid through the information to others. It is principal’s incapacity and is ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW important that both the Financial an important tool to have in Call Today: 859-281-0048 and the Medicaid Power of place in the event of disability www.bgelderlaw.com Attorney documents include or any incapacity, which may 120 N. Mill St., Ste. 201 a HIPAA release so the agents be completely unexpected. Lexington, KY 40507 have access to all necessary The surviving spouse needs  Asset Preservation Carolyn L. Kenton - Mary Ellis Patton - Amy E. Dougherty information. to appoint a trusted person as  Estate Planning, Wills and Take Control of Your Future! Trusts their agent. This is often an adult Our dedicated, multi-generational, and experienced team of  Medicaid Planning and Crisis Planning Mary Ellis Patton helps families the planning and implementation Carolyn L. Kenton Wills and address Trusts. child, a sibling or even a close attorneys  Powers of Attorney issues of becoming elderly, dealing with disability, and handling The surviving spouse should friend. Keep in mind the agent death transfers.  Guardianship  Medicaid Applications planning fortheir your future andwill the future loved ones, you own andof your trust will have access to these powers When review deserve peace of mind throughout the process. At the law office of  Special Needs Trusts and with an attorney make sure the clearly immediately after the document Bluegrass Planning Elderlaw PLLC we listento carefully to your objectives, and thoroughly explain the options to best achieve your goals, and plan is still the right fit. It is likely is executed. equip you to approach your future with confidence. the deceased spouse is named in Medical Power of Attorney. the documents as the executor, a Amy E. Dougherty Katherine E. Finnell Also know as a health care beneficiary or both. 120 N. Mill Street, Suite 201 proxy or health care power Lexington, KY 40507 Beneficiary Designations. of attorney, a medical power www.bgelderlaw.com | 859.281.0048 The surviving spouse needs of attorney is used whenever THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT

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March/April 2019

HEARING WELL

Hearing Loss Questionnaire

Signs and Consequences of Hearing Loss by Dr. Tiffany Brewer

Please take a moment to answer the questions above. If you answered “Yes” to three or more of them, a hearing evaluation is highly recommended. Did you know: • Approximately 48 million Americans report some degree of hearing loss. • Hearing loss is the second most prevalent health issue globally. • Hearing loss is associated with cognitive decline, dementia, depression, hospitalization and heart disease, among other conditions. • One in 14 Gen Xers already has hearing loss. • One in six baby boomers has a hearing problem. • Three in 10 people over the age of 60 have hearing loss. • Ringing in the ears (tinnitus) affects 20 percent of Americans. Hearing loss occurs in approximately 90 percent of those cases. Hearing loss can happen to anyone. It does not discriminate because of age, gender, demographic background or ethnicity. In addition to the noticeable signs of hearing loss, including asking for repetition or saying “What?” there are some warning signs that are not as obvious. One of the most challenging aspects of hearing loss is the gradual progression in which it appears for some patients. Research shows it takes more than seven years from the time a patient notices they have hearing loss until they decide to seek treatment. Because of this gradual nature, hearing loss is able to stay hidden for a longer time

compared to other health issues. There are several warning signs for hearing loss. They have been divided into social, emotional and medical signs. These categories are not limited to the examples listed below. Social Signs • Watching the television at an elevated volume • Difficulty hearing in noisy environments • Answering questions or responding inappropriately • Thinking the speaker’s voice is muffled • Trouble hearing women and children • Reading lips and watching facial cues during conversation Emotional Signs • Feeling tired or exhausted from straining to hear conversations • Being annoyed at others because you did not hear them well • Nervousness about trying to hear or understand • Feeling embarrassed when meeting new people • Withdrawing from social events because it’s easier than not hearing well Medical Signs • Family history of hearing loss • Exposure to loud sounds recreationally or occupationally • Cognitive decline • High blood pressure • High cholesterol • Diabetes • Strong antibiotics • Chemotherapy agents These signs are so important because if left untreated, hearing

Do you have difficulty hearing family or friends when you’re at a restaurant? o Yes o No

Do you feel you attend events less often because of a hearing issue? o Yes o No

Do you feel embarrassed when meeting new people because of a hearing issue? o Yes o No

Do you have difficulty hearing family or friends when visiting with them? o Yes o No

Do you have difficulty hearing someone when they speak to you in a whisper? o Yes o No

Do you have difficulty listening to the television or radio? o Yes o No

Do you feel frustrated when talking to family members because of a hearing issue? o Yes o No

Do you feel your hearing negatively impacts your personal or social life? o Yes o No

Do you feel handicapped by a hearing problem? o Yes o No

loss can have numerous negative consequences, the most important being potential health impacts. These include, but are not limited to, headaches, muscle tension and increased stress and blood-pressure levels. Additionally, negative emotions often plague adults with hearing loss. These include feeling inadequate, awkward, embarrassed, different or abnormal. The desire to hide hearing aids often arises from feelings of shame. Hearing aids are a visible reminder that someone is “different.” However, the stress of living with hearing loss can lead to distrust, sadness, depression, anger, isolation, poor self-image and feeling inadequate or incompetent. Too often guilt can be thrown into the emotional mix of hearing loss. Many individuals take on the responsibility of their hearing loss and blame themselves for the misunderstandings hearing loss causes, even becoming overapologetic when asking others to repeat themselves. While individuals may know they have hearing loss and are aware of the negative impacts hearing loss can have on their lives, many are unwilling to pursue hearing aids because they might make them look “old.” Here is something to consider: Hearing loss is more noticeable, when left untreated, than hearing aids. If you or someone you know has

Do you have arguments with family because of hearing issues? o Yes o No

hearing loss and you are ready to take the next step, contact a Doctor of Audiology. An audiologist will take the time to complete a full diagnostic evaluation and make appropriate recommendations for such treatment. It’s never too soon to hear the world around you better. About the Author

Dr. Tiffany Brewer completed her Doctor of Audiology (Au.D.) at the University of Louisville’s School of Medicine and her undergraduate degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Dr. Brewer specializes in diagnostic audiologic evaluations as well as hearing-aid services, including selection, fitting and follow-up care. She thrives on patient success and is passionate about providing patients with as much information as possible so they can make an informed treatment decision.

204 Bevins Ln. B. | Georgetown, KY 40324 | (502) 642-4322 | www.commonwealthaud.com


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March/April 2019

13

Recovering From Depression by Jean Jeffers, Staff Writer

Get help for medical condition when it interferes with daily life.

The shades are drawn at the windows. The daily newspapers are stacked outside the door unclaimed. Mildred has not ventured outside in a week. Her appetite is poor, and she picks at her food when she does eat. She is sleeping poorly, awakening early in the morning, unable to return to slumber. She is tired, listless and no longer interested in her daily activities. Mildred is suffering from depression. Mental Health America (MHA) says more than 2 million of the 34 million Americans aged 65 and older suffer from some form of depression. Depression can vary from mild to severe and can include: • feeling sad or having a depressed mood; • loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed; • changes in appetite: weight loss/gain; • trouble sleeping or sleeping too much; • loss of energy or increased fatigue; • increase in purposeless activity such as wringing hands and pacing; • slowed movements and speech; • feeling worthless or guilty; • difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions; and • thoughts of death or suicide.

The sooner depression is diagnosed and treated the better you will be. Many older individuals believe in handling emotional problems on their own and are reluctant to seek help. MHA says only 38 percent of older adults believe depression is a health problem and many are more likely to “handle it themselves.” Only 42 percent would seek help from a professional. As you get older, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) says you may go through many changes — deaths of loved ones, retirement, stressful life events or medical problems. It is normal to feel uneasy, stressed or sad about these changes but after adjusting, many older adults feel well again. Depression is different. It is a medical condition and it interferes with daily life and normal functioning. Most adults who are depressed need treatment to get better. Treatment generally consists of medication such as antidepressants, but people over 65 must be cautious about taking drugs because of a higher risk for bad interactions, missing doses or overdosing. Older adults also tend to be more sensitive to medications. When beginning a medication, your doctor should speak with you and perhaps your family about how DEPRESSION Continued on Page 14


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More than

2 MILLION of the 34 million Americans aged 65 and older suffer from some form of depression.

DEPRESSION continued from Page 13

the drug affects alertness, memory and/or coordination and ensure the medication does not increase the risk of falls. Psychotherapy may also be effective for depression. It helps by teaching new ways of thinking and behaving and changing habits that may contribute to the depression, according to the NIMH. Depression, even in the most severe cases, can be treated. If you think you have depression, make an appointment with your health care provider. He or she may refer you to a psychiatrist, psychologist or mental health counselor or social worker. There are numerous things you can do to help your depression. The NIMH recommends:

1. Trying to be active and exercising. 2. Doing something you used to do that was enjoyable, such as going to a movie. 3. Setting realistic goals. 4. Breaking up large tasks into smaller ones and doing just what you can as you can. 5. Confiding in someone about your feelings. 6. Trying not to isolate yourself and letting others help you. 7. Postponing making important decisions until you’re feeling better. Expect to get better slowly. Know you will not just “snap out of it,” but positive thinking will replace negative thoughts as your depression responds to treatment. Continue to educate yourself about your illness. Let your family and friends know how you are doing and what they can do to help. They may

feel helpless in the face of your depression if they are kept in the loop. Make getting better a team effort. Sources:

Mental Health America (www.mentalhealthamerica.net) National Institute of Mental Health (www. nimh.nih.gov) About the Author:

Jean is an RN with an MSN from the University of Cincinnati. She is a freelance writer and staff writer for Living Well 60+ and Health & Wellness magazines. Jean has a novel available on Amazon entitled, “Journey Toward Healing.” It can be purchased as either an e-book or in print. Visit the Web site at www.normajean.naiwe.com


PACK YOUR BAGS, NOT YOUR WORRIES.

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Schedule a respite stay today.

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The Willows at• Citation 859-795-7921 1376 Silver Springs Drive • Lexington, KY 1376 Silver Springs Drive • Lexington, KY 40511 Cedar Ridge Health Campus 859-694-2790 1217 US Highway 62E • Cynthiana, KY The Willows at• Fritz Farm

2710 Man O’War Blvd • Lexington, KY 40515 The Willows at Harrodsburg

859-694-0939 • 180 Lucky Man Way • Harrodsburg, KY

Cedar RidgeatHealth Campus The Willows Fritz Farm 1217 US Highway 62EMan • Cynthiana, KY• 41031 859-795-7873 • 2710 O’War Blvd. Lexington, KY trilogyhs.com •

RESPITE CARE AND SO MUCH MORE


Events Calendar MARCH 3 10 17 24 31

4 11 18 25

5 12 19 26

6 13 20 27

7 14 21 28

Fri

Sat

1 8 15 22 29

2 9 16 23 30

7 14 21 28

2 9 16 23 30

Way #4103 Lexington, KY. Free

wellness tips for all ages and

gift from the office to those who

levels of physical condition.

attend the class!

restorative, yin yoga, tai chi, and more. Perfect for beginners as well as experienced yogis! Donations-based class.

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu

1 8 15 22 29

and Wellness: 1795 Alysheba

techniques, meditation and

Classes may include chair yoga,

APRIL

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu

gentle yoga, breathing

3 10 17 24

4 11 18 25

Fri

Sat

5 12 19 26

6 13 20 27

Mon & Wed

MELT Method Hand, Foot and Body Healing Class by Shayne Wigglesworth. Mondays and Wednesdays at 12pm - Discover pain-

Send us your event listings

List your event for FREE if it’s free to the public*. E-mail your event information to brian@rockpointpublishing.com (*$35 fee for events that are not free to the public)

Sundays

Yoga Health & Therapy Center Classes

Mon, Wed, Fri

Our Yoga Classes feature slow

Free Activities for Seniors at the Charles Young Center

stretch with gentle breathing,

Senior Programs Open MWF

and relaxation techniques.

from 9-1pm, free activities for

Class size is small, to provide

seniors including, Bodies in

careful instruction. Yoga classes

Balance (Fall prevention/fitness

are offered Mon through Thurs

classes), Line Dancing, Indoor

(daytime and evening), and Sat

Pickleball, Technology 101 and

mornings. Our Meditation Starter

other social, educational and

Course teaches simple ways

recreational activities.

to focus and quiet the mind;

Contact Katherine at 859-246-

5-week sessions are offered on

0281 or kdailey@lexingtonky.gov

Sundays at 5:30 pm. A nonprofit organization operating since 1981, The Yoga Health &

free living at any age! Enjoy a gentle foam roller class to reduce pain, inflammation, stress, anxiety and more! MELT Method certified instructor Shayne Wigglesworth will teach you healing techniques you can use for self care at home. All materials and rollers are provided. Perfect for all ages, body types and experience levels. Learn more – call or go online: www.centeredlex.com 859-721-1841.

Weekly

Free Class: ‘How to Stay Young’ Triple Crown Chiropractic and Wellness offers a free class

Tuesdays

twice a week explaining how to keep your body young through

W. 2nd St. Free private parking

Community Yoga Class with Lauren Higdon

is provided for most classes. For

Every Tuesday 10:30am–

who attends the class. To

more information on fees and

11:30am at Centered Studio,

register for the class, please

scheduled dates and times, call

309 N. Ashland Ave. Suite

call 859-335-0419. Questions

us at 859-254-9529, or email us

180 in Lexington. This weekly

to pr.triplecrownchiro@gmail.

at info@yogahealthcenter.org

restorative class integrates

com. Triple Crown Chiropractic

Therapy Center is located at 322

chiropractic care. Free spinal screening available for anyone

4th Monday

Lexington Area Parkinson’s Support Group Free daytime and evening discussion groups for people with PD and their care partners. Daytime meetings held the 4th Monday of each month at noon. Evening meetings held on 1st Wednesday of each month at 6:00 pm. Both group meetings held at Crestwood Christian Church, 1882 Bellefonte Drive, Lexington, KY. For more details contact Elaine at 859-277-1040 or by email info@parkinsonslexington. com. Please visit www. parkinsonslexington.com for details and other free events held by LAPSG.

1st Tuesday

Lupus Support Group Living & Coping with Lupus: meets 1st Tuesday of every month at Imani Baptist Church, 1555 Georgetown Road, Lexington from 7:00pm–8:30pm. The Lupus Foundation of America support groups are intended to provide a warm and caring environment where people with lupus, their family members, caregivers and loved ones can share experiences, methods of coping and insights into living with chronic illness. www. lupusmidsouth.org.


To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com |

Wednesdays Mindfulness and Relaxation for Health

Timoshevskaya. Mind Body Lexington, KY 859-373-0033.

open the heart. Arrive 6:00-6:30

id=214.

and deeply relax, instruction 6:30-8:00 PM. Mobilize inner resources for promoting

Every Saturday (April – October, 7am-2pm)

March 9

health, preventing burnout and

Craft & Vendor Show

managing stress-related chronic

10 am to 3 pm at Legacy

disease. Study and practice

Reserve, 2700 Man O’ War

in a supportive group. Gentle

Blvd., Lexington KY. Across

yoga, mindful movement, deep

from the Summitt.

17

Lexington Farmer’s Market

Full details at http://www. mindbodystudio.org/?page_

March/April 2019

Saturdays

Studio 517 Southland Drive,

Relax the body, quiet the mind,

www.livingwell60plus.com |

downtown Lexington, 241 West Main Street, visit the Lexington Farmers’ Market! Browse herbs and spices, honey, beeswax, candles, body care products, organic products, eggs, meats and fresh, seasonal produce.

relaxation, sitting meditation and discussion. Instructor: John A. Patterson MD, MSPH, FAAFP,

March 23

Cost $10. Mind Body Studio

Craft & Vendor Show

517 Southland Drive, Lexington,

10 am to 3 pm at Hartland Hills,

KY 859-373-0033. Full details

1005 Tanbark Rd., Lexington

at http://www.mindbodystudio.

KY. Off Tates Creek Past Man

org/?page_id=1055

O’ War.

Thursdays

March 30

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) The “gold standard” mindfulness program. Orientation 6-8 PM Thursday night January 17th followed by 8 Thursday night sessions 6:00-8:30 PM. Learn to promote resilience, prevent burnout, cultivate compassion and manage stress-related chronic conditions. Instructor: John A. Patterson MD, MSPH, FAAFP. Mind Body Studio 517 Southland Drive, Lexington, KY 859-373-0033. Full details at www.mindbodystudio. org/?page_id=1262 UK Wellness Program offers deep discount for UK employees, retirees and spouses.

Craft & Vendor Show 11 am to 3 pm at Morning Pointe Shoreside, 150 Shoreside Dr., Lexington KY. Off Richmond Road out Man O’ War.

April 13

Craft & Vendor Show 11 am to 3 pm at Provision Living, 1154 Monarch St., Lexington KY. In Beaumont.

Kentucky’s Leading Hair Replacement Facility

April 19

6th Annual Bluegrass Elder Abuse Prevention Conference: “Looking Out, Reaching Out – Focusing on SelfAwareness”

• Genetic Hair Loss • Chemotherapy • Alopecia • Cosmetic Hair Replacement

859.263.9811

8:30 – 2:00 at the Lexington

Fridays

Senior Center. 195 Life Lane. To

Argentine Tango

online at www.BluegrassEAPC.

Passionate and Romantic-

com. (Free lunch provided to

Mindful and Meditative. A

registered participants).

uniquely transformative social skill, art form and movement therapy. No partner or dance

register call (859) 576-3898 or

April 20

experience required. Friday

Craft & Vendor Show

evening 7:30-9:00 PM. You may

10 am to 3 pm at Rabbit Run

drop-in to any class- this is not

Clubhouse, 1920 Fort Harrods

a series. Cost $10. Instructors:

Dr., Lexington KY.

Dr. John Patterson and Nataliya

Hair Institute offers several surgical and non-surgical hair restoration options, including Virtual Reality®, full and partial prostheses, hand-knotted wigs, and human hair extensions. - Laser Light Hair Therapy - Surgical Hair Restoration Options

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HAIR REPLACEMENT • HAIR RESTORATION • HAIR EXTENSIONS Professional • Confidential • Meticulous AMERICAN HAIR LOSS COUNCIL

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®


18

March/April 2019 | www.livingwell60plus.com |

Senior Services DIRECTORY

To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com

Category Key

Does your business provide excellent senior services?

call us for a spot County Offices & Meal Programs in the directory 859.368.0778 Health Care Systems & Hospitals Transportation, Personal Shopping, Errands Senior Day Centers, Adult Day Centers & Respite Care In Home Care (Non-Medical) In Home Medical Care Mental Health, Family & Caregiver Support, Advice Disability & Rehabilitation Medical Equipment, Supplies & Monitoring Systems

Finances & Estate Planning, Trusts/Wills, Reverse Mortgage

About the Directory Living Well 60+ is striving to make your search for local senior services a bit easier. We know there are many companies available to assist seniors in central Kentucky – so many that beginning a search to fit your need can seem like a daunting task. That’s why our directory features a collection of local companies and organizations who have a solid track record of providing exceptional assistance. We hope it becomes a useful starting point in your search for quality senior services.

Funeral Arrangement & Pre-Planning Legal Services Home Repair & Maintenance Skilled Nursing Facilities, Personal Care Homes, Long-Term Care Senior Independent Living & Retirement Housing Real Estate / Rent- Subsidized Housing For Independent Living Moving, Estate Sales, Downsizing Services Fitness, Healthy Eating & Healthy Living Healthcare, Medicare Help and Insurance Vision Care


To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com |

HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS & HOSPITALS

www.livingwell60plus.com |

March/April 2019

DISABILITY & REHABILITATION

HOME REPAIR & MAINTENANCE

YMCA of Central Kentucky

Mountain Waterfalls

1221 S. Broadway Lexington, KY 40504 859-258-4000

239 E. High St. Lexington, KY 40502 859-254-9622 ymcaofcentralky.org

Award-Winning Water Features 859-684-0642 www.mountainwaterfalls.net

IN HOME CARE (NON-MEDICAL)

Drayer Physical Therapy Institute: Winchester Center

Lexington Clinic

Accessible Home Care 366 Waller Ave. Ste. 112 Lexington, KY 40504 859-313-5167 www.accessiblebluegrass.com

Alliance Medical & Home Care 3716 Willow Ridge Road Lexington, KY 40514 859-296-9525 www.alliancelexington.com

Assisting Hands 1795 Alysheba Way, Ste. 7105 Lexington, KY 40509 859-264-0646 www.assistinghands.com/lexington

Senior Helpers of the Bluegrass 3070 Harrodsburg Rd. Ste. 240 Lexington, KY 40503 859-296-2525 www.seniorhelpers.com/lexington

Seniors Helping Seniors Where seniors who want to help are matched w/ seniors looking for help

710 E. Main Street Lexington, KY 40502 859-408-1145 www.seniorshelpingseniors.com/lexington

IN HOME MEDICAL CARE Medi-Calls 1055 Wellington Way #215 Lexington, KY 40513 859-422-4369

Saint Joseph Home Health 2464 Fortune Dr. Ste. 110 Lexington, KY 40509 859-277-5111 www.saintjosephanchomecare.com

160 Pedro Way 859-745-2152 www.drayerpt.com

Drayer Physical Therapy Institute: Richmond Center 1054 Center Drive, Ste. 1 859-625-0600 www.drayerpt.com

Drayer Physical Therapy Institute: Lexington Perimeter Center 600 Perimeter Drive, Ste. 175 859-268-1201 www.drayerpt.com

Drayer Physical Therapy Institute: Lexington Beaumont Center 1010 Monarch Street, Ste. 150 859-219-0211 www.drayerpt.com

MEDICAL EQUIPMENT, SUPPLIES & MONITORING SYSTEMS Baptist Health Lifeline 859-260-6214 www.baptisthealth.com/lexington

FINANCES & ESTATE PLANNING, TRUSTS/WILLS, REVERSE MORTGAGE Attorney Walter C. Cox, Jr & Assoc. LLC 2333 Alexandria Dr. 859-514-6033 www.waltercoxlaw.com info@waltercoxlaw.com

LEGAL SERVICES Bluegrass Elder Law 120 North Mill Street, Ste 300 859-281-0048 www.bgelderlaw.com

SENIOR INDEPENDENT LIVING & RETIREMENT HOUSING Mayfair Village 3310 Tates Creek Rd. Lexington, KY 40502 859-266-2129 www.mayfairseniors.com

Windsor Gardens of Georgetown Assisted Living 100 Windsor Path Georgetown, KY 40324 502-570-0540 marsha@goodworksunlimited.com

Rose Mary C. Brooks Place 200 Rose Mary Dr. Winchester, KY 40391 859-745-4904 www.brooksplace.org

The Lafayette 690 Mason Headley Rd. 859-278-9080 www.lafayettelexington.com

Ashland Terrace 475 S. Ashland Ave. Lexington, KY 40502 859-266-2581 www.ashlandterrace.org

Hometown Manor Assisted Living Community Georgetown, Lawrenceburg, Shelbyville 859-229-5914 www.hometownmanor.com

St Andrews Retirement Community 300 Stocker Dr. 859-625-1400 www.standrewsplace.org

Hometown Manor Assisted Living Communities 2141 Executive Drive, Lexington (859) 317-8439 www.hometownmanor.com

MORE LISTINGS ON PAGE 21

19


Your Family, Your Health, Our Passion Family Practice Associates of Lexington, P.S.C. Proudly serving Kentucky for 35 years. • Family Practice • Pediatrics • Internal Medicine • Primary Care for your entire family!

Hamburg Pavilion Location

Harrodsburg Road Location

1775 Alysheba Way #201

2040 Harrodsburg Rd, Ste 300

Lexington, KY 40509

Lexington, KY 40503

859.278.5007 www.fpalex.com


SERVICE DIRECTORY, CONTINUED FROM PAGE 19 Morning Pointe Senior Living Residences 233 Ruccio Way, Lexington 40503 859-554-0060 Lexington East Facility 150 Shoreside Dr., Lexington 859-721-0350 The Lantern (Alzheimer’s Care) 225 Ruccio Way, Lexington 40503 859-309-4867 www.morningpointe.com

REAL ESTATE / RENT-SUBSIDIZED HOUSING FOR INDEPENDENT LIVING Turf Town Properties, Inc. 124 Kentucky Ave. Lexington, KY 40502 859-268-4663 www.turftown.com

Briarwood Apartments 1349 Centre Parkway Lexington, KY 40517 859-272-3421 glickco.com

REAL ESTATE The Justice Group at Rector Hayden Realtors

Hall’s Moving Service, Inc. SENIORS SAVE 5% 258 E. 2nd Street, Lexington 859-231-0428

Home Care by Seniors for Seniors

FITNESS, HEALTHY EATING & HEALTHY LIVING Yoga Health & Therapy Center 322 West Second St. Lexington, KY 40507 859-254-9529 www.yogahealthcenter.org

Well Fed Meals 1301 Winchester Rd. #17 Lexington, KY 40505 859-539-5863 www.wellfedmeals.com

HEALTHCARE, MEDICARE HELP & INSURANCE Kentucky Health Solutions

T

here’s a huge difference in the kind of home care you can receive from someone who really understands your life as a senior. Our caring, compassionate seniors are there to help. We offer the services you need to stay in your home, living independently. Call us today!

Companionship | Light Housekeeping | Meal Preparation | Transportation

859.408.1145 KY 500239

www.seniorshelpingseniors.com/lexington

If you are interested in becoming a service provider we would like to hear from you too. ©2018 Seniors Helping Seniors. Each office is independently owned and operated. All trademarks are registered trademarks of Corporate Mutual Resource Inc. Not all services are available in all areas.

2333 Alexandria Drive Lexington, KY 40504 Direct 859-312-9646 | Office 859-309-5033 kentuckyhealthsolutions. com

VISION CARE Medical Vision

1099 Duval Street Lexington, KY 40515 859-338-6099 TheJusticeGroup.rhr.com

3288 Eagle View Ln. Suite 300 Lexington, KY 859-278-9486 www.medicalvision.com

MOVING, ESTATE SALES, DOWNSIZING SERVICES

TRANSPORTATION, PERSONAL SHOPPING, ERRANDS

Caring Transitions

4734 Rockford Plaza Louisville, KY 40216 1-800-458-8267 www.superiorvan.com

1411 Delaware Ave. 859-543-9848 www.CTLex.net

Like getting a little help from your friends®

Superior Van & Mobility

Living Well 60+ is just a Click Away Read every issue on your smart phone, tablet & computer.

Lexington Life Services 859-797-8157 lexingtonlifeservices.com

Scan here to start reading.


FAMILY VISION

Old Eyes: Presbyopia Unavoidable But Manageable

by Dr. Rick Graebe, Family Eyecare Associates and Vision Therapy

Presbyopia is a natural consequence of aging. In Greek, the word means “old eye.” Presbyopia usually first manifests when you are in your 40s. You may notice it’s getting harder to see things close up, but you can see things that are far away without any problem. You may have to hold reading material at arm’s length because it looks blurry when you try to read at a normal distance. Doing close work may cause headaches or fatigue. You may find you need more light to read or work by, and you may have a little more trouble driving at night because of glare. Presbyopia happens when the natural lens in the eye loses flexibility and begins to stiffen. It makes the lens less able to change shape so you can focus when looking at something up close. As the lens grows thicker and less elastic, it becomes more yellowed and light can’t pass through as

easily as it previously did. About lenses are another option for get30 percent less light gets back ting ahead of presbyopia. There to the eye that is developing are some surgical options as well. presbyopia. Discuss with your ophthalmoloA basic eye exam will congist which choice would be best firm you have for you. presbyopia. (This While not is one reason A basic eye exam painful or why you should dangerous or will confirm you debilitating, have regular comprehensive does have presbyopia. presbyopia eye exams even cause some loss as you get older.) of sensory input, While it can’t since less light be reversed, cured or avoided, hits the back of your eyes and presbyopia is easy to correct. It’s you don’t see as well. Because of as simple as picking up a pair of this, you may have an increased over-the-counter readers at the risk of falling or tripping. Visual drugstore if you don’t wear glass- therapy can help you improve es. Your eye doctors at Family your reaction and response Eyecare Associates may prescribe time by honing your speed and bifocals, trifocals or progresaccuracy. Vision is all about recsive lenses for you if you already ognizing and responding. When wear glasses. With bifocals, the your recognition and response top part corrects for distance is accurate and quick, you won’t vision and the lower part helps have as many falls and tumbles. you see objects up close. Contact A recent study at the University lens wearers can get a pair with of Cincinnati demonstrated that monovision: One eye will have college athletes who participate a distance prescription and the in vision therapy have a statistiother will have a prescription for cally significant reduction in near vision. Multifocal contact concussions. One visual therapy

exercise taught at Family Eyecare Associates incorporates eye-footspeed reaction time, teaching you to judge space and distance and coordinate your reaction accurately. Even though you may be dealing with presbyopia, staying active can help you hone your visual skills and keep you in the game. Call Family Eyecare Associates at (859) 879-3665 for more information about how visual therapy can help. ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Graebe received both his B.S degree in Visual Science and Doctorate of Optometry from Indiana University. He is a Behavioral Optometrist and learning expert. He has been in private practice here in the Bluegrass area for the past 32 years.

Family Eyecare Associates 105 Crossfield Drive, Versailles, KY 40383 859.879.3665 | www.myfamilyvision.com www.kentuckyvisiontherapy.com


To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com |

www.livingwell60plus.com |

March/April 2019

Do You Need a DNR Order? Include it with your other legal health documents by Angela S. Hoover, Staff Writer

A do not resuscitate order (DNR) alerts all medical personnel that you do not wish to be resuscitated in case of a medical trauma. It expresses your choice to die naturally rather than be brought back to life. Emergency medical personnel must use all available measures – no matter how invasive – to save anyone’s life except when a DNR order is in place. A DNR order is often included with other legal health documents, such as a living will, an advance directive and a power of attorney, but you can also have a standalone DNR order. A DNR order differs from an advance directive in that it specifies there is to be no intervention at all for any reason, whereas an advance directive outlines several contingencies of when and what type of intervention is allowed. You can fill out a DNR order at your doctor’s office and have it kept in your medical records. You can also do so when you are admitted to a hospital if you’re conscious. If you are near death and unable to communicate and you have a living will or advance directive that makes your wishes clear, the doctor can put the DNR order in place. If you have appointed a health care agent and a DNR order is consistent with your known wishes, your agent can authorize the DNR order on your behalf. If you have not created documents directing your health care, the person who is legally authorized to make health-care decisions for you – usually your spouse or next closest relative – may be able to authorize a DNR order if they believe it is what you would have wanted. A DNR order does not ensure emergency responders will not do everything they can to resuscitate. In Kentucky, an additional Emergency Medical Ser-

vices Do Not Resuscitate Order (EMS DNR) is needed to guarantee DNR wishes are followed outside of a hospital setting. This EMS DNR only applies to EMS personnel in a pre-hospital setting up to the doors of the hospital. Once you are in the hospital, the EMS DNR has no effect, and your other DNR order is enacted. This form needs to be approved by the Kentucky Board of Medical Licensure. You can access the EMS DNR form at https://eforms.com/ images/2018/02/Kentucky-Not-Resuscitate-Order-Form.pdf. A new Kentucky medical order was enacted in 2015 called the Medical Order for Scope of Treatment (MOST). This form is quite comprehensive, covering not only resuscitation, but also medical intervention if you have a pulse or are breathing and the administration of antibiotics, fluids and nutrition. Section E of the MOST form asks if you have a living will and, if so, to certify that the MOST is consistent with the living will directive. You must fill this form out

with your physician and he/she must sign it. Additionally, the MOST form needs to be approved by the Kentucky Board of Medical Licensure. It is the only direct authority mandating recognition of a DNR order in hospital settings. You can access the MOST form at http://kbml.ky.gov/board/Documents/ MOST%20Form.pdf. The original form must accompany you in order to be recognized. You can have it on file at your hospital, but it could be found too late or you could be taken to a different hospital. If you are serious about a DNR order being followed, having a local power of attorney to act on your behalf is your best bet.

A DNR expresses your choice to die naturally rather than be brought back to life.

23


My hearing aids don’t define me — I do. I didn’t realize that my hearing loss was affecting me until it began affecting him. That’s when I made the choice to take charge of my hearing.

My family physician referred me to Audiology Associates. The moment I walked in the door, I knew I had found my hearing care home. Audiology Associates was patient, informative, and compassionate — my appointment felt more like a conversation than a consultation. We talked about my current lifestyle and how I could maintain — even improve — my hearing with their help and my determination.

Does David’s story sound familiar? Visit our AudigyCertified practice to learn how you too can experience better hearing.

AudigyCertified™ and here for you We have been chosen as an elite private hearing care practice in North America by Audigy, LLC. Continuing education ensures that we can offer up-to-date diagnostics and technology to our patients. We are proud to have been selected and certified by our peers for upholding the highest standards of patient care.

Lexington • 259 Southland Dr Other convenient locations: Prestonsburg • 1428 N Lake Dr Pikeville • 5425 N Mayo Trail, Ste 201

Dr. Robert Manning, Au.D. Doctor of Audiology

Emma Lackey, HIS Jake Manning, HIS Hearing Instrument Specialist Hearing Instrument Specialist

859.963.2958 www.kyhearing.com

$500 OFF

an AGX5, 7, or 9 twodevice hearing system. Offer cannot be combined with any other promotional discount. Expires 4/30/19. 6/30/18.


FUNERAL

Mourning: an Essential Part of Healing

by Joey Tucker, Funeral Director

Someone you love has died and you are now faced with the difficult, but important, need to mourn. According to Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, “Mourning is the open expression of your thoughts and feelings regarding the death and the person who has died. It is an essential part of healing.” The grief journey is often frightening, painful, overwhelming and sometimes lonely. With hope, the following tips from Wolfelt will help you as you move toward healing in your personal grief experience. Realize your grief is unique. No one will grieve in exactly the same way. Don’t try to compare your experience with that of other people. Your experience will be influenced by the relationship you had with the person who died; the circumstances surrounding the death; your emotional support system; and your cultural and religious background. Talk about your grief. Express

your grief openly. When you share your grief, healing occurs and often makes you feel better. Speak from your heart with caring friends and relatives who will listen without judging. Expect to feel a multitude of emotions. Experiencing loss affects your head, heart and spirit. So you may encounter a variety of emotions as part of your grief work. Confusion, disorganization, fear, guilt, relief or explosive emotions are just a few of the emotions you may feel. Allow for numbness. Feeling dazed or numb when someone dies is often part of your early grief experience. This numbness serves a valuable purpose: It gives your emotions time to catch up with what your mind has told you. This feeling helps create insulation from the reality of the death until you are more able to tolerate what you don’t want to believe. Be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you fatigued, unable to think clearly and make decisions. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Nurture yourself. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. Lighten your schedule.

Make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide the support of caring people. Most importantly, the funeral is a way for you to express your grief outside yourself. Embrace your spirituality. If faith is part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. Allow a search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, “Why did he die? Why did this happen to me? Why now?” This search for meaning is often another normal part of the healing process. Healing occurs when questions are posed, not necessarily when they are answered. Treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after someone loved dies. Treasure them. Share them. Recognize memories may make you laugh or cry. Embrace grief with help from others. The capacity to love requires the necessity to grieve when someone loved dies. You cannot heal unless you openly express and embrace your grief. One way to do this is by attend-

ing a support group, a program designed to help people cope with their loss. Milward Funeral Directors hosts a Support Group on the third Tuesday of every month between March and October 2019 at 6:15 p.m. at its 1509 Trent Boulevard, Lexington, location. The Support Group is open to the public without cost or obligation. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Joey Tucker has been serving the Lexington community as a funeral director for Milward Funeral Directors since 2007. He has been a licensed funeral director since 2002. Milward, which operates three locations in Lexington, is the 37th oldest continuously operated family business in the United States. Joey can be reached at (859) 252-3411.

159 North Broadway | 859.252.3411 391 Southland Drive | 859.276.1415 1509 Trent Boulevard | 859.272.3414 www.milwardfuneral.com


26

March/April 2019 | www.livingwell60plus.com |

To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com

CAREGIVING CORNER

Keep Your Spirits Up to Prevent Burn Out Morale-boosting tips for caregivers

by Lisa M. Petsche, Staff Writer

Let go of the need for perfection.

Caring for a chronically ill, disabled or medically frail person can offer many rewards, but it also involves physical, psychological, emotional and financial demands. Family caregivers may experience a variety of distressing emotions, including frustration, guilt, resentment, anxiety and sadness. If you are a caregiver, here are some suggestions for keeping your spirits up in day-to-day life, which can reduce the risk of wearing down and burning out.

Emphasize the Positive Limit your exposure to the news. Use positive self-talk. Emphasize phrases such as “I can” and “I choose.” Cultivate a healthy sense of humor. Read the comics, watch a TV sitcom or rent funny movies. Accept realities you can’t change and concentrate on those you can influence. Focus on your care receiver’s abilities rather than their limitations and build on those strengths. Recognize that even when the going gets


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tough, you always have a choice about how to respond. Stay connected to people who care. Minimize contact with individuals who are judgmental. Find an outlet for expressing your thoughts and feelings, such as talking with a friend or keeping a journal. Pick your battles; don’t make a major issue out of every concern. Let the little things go. Don’t dwell on past mistakes, hurts or other unpleasant events. Look for the good in people and situations. Give others the benefit of the doubt and practice forgiveness. Do something you enjoy every day. Read or listen to music. Identify sources of stress in your life, then eliminate as many of them as possible and learn to manage the rest. Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. Learn to be flexible about plans and expectations. Take things one day at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed. Set priorities and stick to them. And let go of the need for perfection. Be receptive to learning new ways of doing things and trying new activities. Encourage your care receiver to do the same. Be open to learning skills such as proper transferring and bathing techniques. Not only will this make caregiving safer and easier, but mastering these tasks will also give your self-confidence a boost. Find out about community services that can help maximize your care receiver’s quality of life and assist you with necessary tasks. Potential sources of information include your care receiver’s doctor and other participating health professionals, the Internet, non-profit organization associated with your care receiver’s health

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March/April 2019

condition and the local office on aging. Develop a partnership with involved healthcare professionals. Share relevant information about your care receiver’s needs, abilities and preferences and any other information that may help with care planning. Ask questions, seek advice and offer opinions and suggestions as appropriate. Never forget you’re an important member of your care receiver’s care team. Start a scrapbook of inspiration: collect quotations, positive articles, heartwarming stories and inspirational photos and keep them in a binder or scrapbook. Connect with other caregivers. Join a community support group or find an Internet group if it’s hard to get out. Don’t neglect your own physical health: Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise and have regular medical checkups. Seek help from your primary care physician or a counselor if you continually feel sad, angry or overwhelmed. Such emotions may be symptomatic of clinical depression, a legitimate and treatable illness. Set aside some quiet time each day; it nurtures your spirituality and helps keep you grounded. Schedule regular breaks from caregiving duties and plan to do something fun. This helps recharge your batteries. Finally, count your blessings and learn to live in the moment, enjoying life’s simpler pleasures. About the Author:

Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker and a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior health matters. She has personal experience with family caregiving.

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Hit the road and find new adventures in your own home on wheels...

THE LATEST TREND:

RVing for Seniors

by Jamie Lober, Staff Writer

One of latest and greatest passions for seniors in this country is traveling via recreational vehicle, better known as RVing. The Recreational Vehicle Industry Association defines an RV as a vehicle designed to serve as temporary living quarters for recreation, camping, travel or seasonal use. From a weekend getaway with the grandkids to a cross-country

adventure, RVing offers an active and engaging lifestyle for the young at heart. Whether you choose to hit the road and head west in the spring, south in the winter, east in the fall or north in the summer, there is no shortage of destinations with unique scenery that will allow you to take in the sights and sounds of a new place. The overall experience makes for great uninterrupted quality time as a family – and fur babies are welcome, too.

When surveyed, RVers say one of their top reasons for enjoying this hobby is the freedom they feel being on the open road. They say it is enriching and fulfilling to be able to see new places without the expenses of airfares and hotels. It is an escape from the materialism and possible clutter that may take over your home and it’s a way to break free from all the things that can be cumbersome in daily life. Some people choose to embrace

this lifestyle full time after downsizing from larger homes. Others get the travel urge several times a year and set off to take a vacation or visit friends, but they still like to maintain a home base. RVing has come a long way compared to the past. In fact, it actually offers all the amenities you can find in the comfort of your home, such as beds, sleeper sofas, flat-screen TVs, computers and kitchen appliances, including microwaves, re-


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frigerators and freezers. Some RVs also have washers and dryers for your convenience. Just a few years ago, you were forced to disconnect totally from society, but now you can e-mail friends and loved ones about your adventures and even work remotely if you must, thanks to the ever-growing evolution of technology. Networking with other RVers is always exciting and a good idea for newbies. You can pick up tips

and tricks that will help you plan future journeys. Some people even participate in RV clubs with likeminded folks who share their interest in exploring new territory. If you’re wondering if RVing is right for you, you can start by renting or perhaps you can borrow an RV from a friend. One popular rental option is Cruise America, which has a free app that directs you to campsites and lists their amenities so you can determine

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the best fit for you. Useful places to begin learning more include the Recreational Vehicle Industry Association and the Kentucky Horse Park Campground. If you are looking to try something new this year, be sure to consider RVing and all that it has to offer. Dedicated RVers declare there’s no other opportunity quite like it for happy campers.

March/April 2019

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There’s no other opportunity quite like it for happy campers.


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March/April 2019 | www.livingwell60plus.com |

To advertise call 859.368.0778 or email brian@rockpointpublishing.com

Have You Taken Time to Brighten Someone Else’s Life? Volunteering helps those on a very special journey by Dr. Tom Miller, Staff Writer

The periods of loneliness some people experience in retirement inspired me to volunteer at a local hospital. I spend my Tuesdays visiting patients who may not have someone with whom to share their thoughts and feelings as they journey through the challenging experiences of being sick, infirm and hospitalized. My first stop is meeting with the head nurse on the unit. She identifies patients who may benefit from a visit and appreciate a chance to share their concerns. From there, I go to see individuals I have never known or met before. Equipped with the most positive and optimistic attitude I have, I also bring my listening ear because the individuals I am visiting need me to take to the issues and concerns they are dealing with. For many, while they lie in a hospital bed, they are on a very special journey with numerous questions and concerns. Having experienced hospitalization myself, I know about those long hours with special precautions and limited activity. Each day is filled with lab work and visits from various healthcare professionals. It is a lonely time. Patients ponder their present condition and wonder where they are headed.

When I enter a room, I bring no questions, but rather an open mind. I’m ready to let the patient take me where they want to go. This requires being a good listener. Because I have been there, I know some of the questions that arise in their minds. They are thinking about what brought them to need inpatient care. They want to learn more about their condition and how it can be managed or prevented in the future. I remember the time I walked into a patient’s room as he was being prepared for discharge. He said he had created a real problem for himself during the past several years. He had alienated all his family members. They tried to encourage him to address his condition, but he warded them off with denial and anger. He was trying to figure out how to heal the destruction he had created among his spouse and his children. Together, but with his lead, we discussed some steps he might consider taking to deal with his current needs. He realized it would make him feel better to work on a plan to reengage his family members and discuss the pain he had created because of his anger and denial. Volunteering makes an immeasurable difference in the lives of many individuals facing difficulties in their journey through

life. There are rich and rewarding benefits when you give back. Research shows volunteers have longer lives, less disease and better overall health. Brown et al. (2005) found people who volunteer over 100 hours a year are some of the healthiest people in the United States. From filling moments of loneliness to the satisfaction of enriching self-confidence, volunteering offers many health benefits, especially for those who are now retired and in search of quality-of-life experiences. On another Tuesday, the head nurse shared with me the multiple conditions another patient was facing. These included stage three cancer, and he had fallen at home and broken his hip. I could sense his sadness and depression. I noticed he had not touched his breakfast. “It looks like that breakfast tray is ready for someone to eat,” I said. By describing what I saw, I avoided blame or criticism and instead became prescriptive, encouraging him to eat what was on his tray. He said the food wasn’t what he usually chose for breakfast. I understood it was not appetizing to him. “What would make you Happy Right Now?” I asked. A smile slowly came to his face as he reminisced about his favorite breakfast — scrambled eggs, soft, and biscuits


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March/April 2019

and gravy. And yes, strong coffee. “Give me a minute and I’ll be right back,” I said. I went to the head nurse’s office and explained his situation. She checked his chart and immediately called down for his breakfast of choice. I went back and shared the good news with him. I told him I would come back to make sure the breakfast reorder made his day. After visiting another patient, I checked on him and sure enough, I found an empty plate and a happy patient. His smile is something I will never forget. About the Author:

Thomas W. Miller, Ph.D., ABPP, is a Professor Emeritus and Senior Research Scientist with the Center for Health, Intervention and Prevention, at the University of Connecticut, and Professor, Department of Gerontology, College of Public Health, and Department of Psychiatry, College of Medicine, at the University of Kentucky.

Volunteers have longer lives, less disease and better overall health.

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