The Memoirs Of
Jessica Maria Rivera “THE YEAR OF THE FLOOD”
“You’re having a baby…. A fucking baby?!?!? Ali how could you cheat on me? Why Now? Why all the lies? All the secrets and late nights out? How could you be so selfish?” “Maria calm down!” Ali screamed while dodging a glass filled with water. Chapter 1 After several weeks of loneliness and neglect, Ali took Maria to dinner. Holding her hand while they walked, Ali started to sing “I’m Sprung” by T-Pain, making Maria blush. The night was magical. After dinner, Ali suggested walking home. As they passed the ritzy stores, Ali vowed one day soon he would take Maria shopping at stores like those. “I’m going to buy you everything you have ever wanted, I promise, you deserve the world!” Throughout the night they shared moments of animalistic lust, looks that melted away the past few months of cold distanced affection and words of meaningless value drifted away. After kissing in their local ice cream store, they decided to take the passion upstairs. Sensual soft kissing quickly turned into erotic pleasure as they moaned in unison; an amazing end to their night. As euphoric as Maria felt, she couldn’t fall asleep. Looking at her loving husband and feeling the butterflies return, she reached for his sidekick to write a love note. Feeling a little like a teenager, she giggled. Much to Maria’s surprise, when she opened his phone it was filled with e-mails from a woman whose name she didn’t recognize. The last e-mail he received had the subject “baby please call me”. Opening it, she read in horror. Baby, why are you being so distant? We have to talk about our baby……..I’ve called you twice after we spoke earlier, why didn’t you pick up? Please pick up. I love you, you’re my heart. Hyperventilating, Maria’s gasps for air woke Ali. Wiping the tears from her face, he told her to calm down. Asking her what’s wrong, what had happened, followed by “Maria, baby calm down, you’re scaring me”.
After a few moments, Maria was able to regain control of her emotional state. Calmly she said “Get out of my house.” “What?” “Why?” “What did I do?” “Ali get up; get up before I break your face. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house. I am not going to repeat myself.” “Baby, what’s…” Interrupting Ali, Maria quickly spat back “Baby?!? Your having a fucking baby. I’m not your fucking baby!” “What are you talking about?” “NIGGA, DON’T PLAY ME! Get your shit and get the fuck out, NOW!” “Baby? Maria please let me explain. It was an accident. I swear! I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re my heart, I never wanted to hurt you, I love you!” “You’re having a baby…. A fucking baby?!?!? Ali how could you cheat on me? Why Now? Why all the lies? All the secrets and late nights out? How could you be so selfish?” “Maria calm down!” Ali screamed while dodging a glass filled with water. “Ali, you didn’t fall into her!” Maria threw his phone at him, then yelled “You fucking had the nerve to call her when we were at dinner. I’m so glad I went to the bathroom so you could disrespect me. On top of that you’re fucking lying to me now. How is it “I’m your heart” when your writing her about how special she is, how much your baby is a blessing, how you’ve never loved a woman as much as her?” “Maria you looked through my phone? What the fuck are you looking through my shit for?” Opening the front door, Maria placed Ali’s bag, shoes, and pants outside the apartment. Then looked at him and said “You’re fucking amazing, you’re tripping over your phone! You fucking lying piece of shit, get the fuck out of my house!”
“Can I at least talk to you? Please let me explain.” “Nigga, I just gave you your chance and instead you tripped over your phone. Your taking to long to get out of my house, put your shirt on outside!” “MARIA PLEASE!” Even with his pitiful face, Maria ignored his plea. Folding her arms across her chest, she let out a loud sigh. “Maria, please…. At least let me collect my things.” Receiving no reaction he yelled “DAMN IT WOMAN! We had a great night, why did you have to fuck it up?” Opening the door again, this time all the way, Maria held back her tears and gestured for him to leave. As he walked out the door, shirt in hand, he looked at her to make eye contact, in one last attempt to apologies. But Maria slammed the door, giving him no chance to say another word. Sliding down the door, plopping on the floor, Maria couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. She sat there reliving the past few hours thinking “how stupid could I be”. Wiping her tears she took the bottom of her shirt and wiped her nose. “I let him in my bed, what if I catch something from him, or worse get pregnant now?” Shaking, Maria got up and took a shower. After letting the hot water scold her skin for several minutes, she got out. With some clarity she hoped on the computer. Remembering the woman’s e-mail, she decided to congratulate her, carbon copying her husband. Dear Jade, I wanted to extend warm congratulations to you. It’s not everyday I find out my husband is expecting a baby. Whether or not this is the appropriate time for me to find out or to contact you remains to be seen. I myself would have preferred being told I was being betrayed to my face, but seeing that I wouldn’t have found out until you were milking my bank account for child support, I am thrilled I now know. I’m really happy the both of you thought it was best not to use a condom, at least now I don’t have to have his child and raise the family we have planned for five years. I am relieved knowing that while I have been struggling with an illness, he’s been shacking up with you. I’m sure you’re prepared to support his
dreams and aspirations. I know you’re ready to support him financially while he wastes his talent at a minimum wage job because he’s afraid to take a risk and apply himself. With the baby on the way, you’ll really have you hands full! On another note, considering Ali claims your an accident, I assume you know the appropriate action you should take. Unless you think after my alimony he will have a pot to piss in. Which if you do, I hope you come to your senses after reading this. Regarding the matter of you being a home wrecking slut, only you, god, and I can judge that! Trust me; god is fully aware of who or what you are! As I am sure you are too. May you find happiness in my sloppy seconds! Trust me after seven years of ups and downs, you can have him. May he do to you as he has done to me! Respectfully yours (well, about as much respect as you deserve) Maria Feeling a little relief, Maria glanced over her living room, sighing at the mess; she looked at the clock over her head. “It’s 2:48 in the morning, might as well stay up and clean.” Just as she got up from the computer desk, she had a knock at the door. Walking over to the peep hole, she asked who it was. “It’s me Maria; I love you, please let me talk to you. Open the door, please.” Feeling the anxiety welling up in her chest she snapped “NO Nigga, go to your bitches house before I call the cops!” “Please Maria, just two minutes” Opening the door, Maria immediately noticed how horrible Ali looked, bloody hand and dilated pupils, but wasn’t interested in asking him what had happened or what he had done. Instead she spat “Your wasting time, you only have one minute forty five seconds, start talking!” “I never meant to hurt you. It started innocent, you were sick and I asked around work if anyone knew anything that might help me help you. She gave me great advice and found doctors I could contact on
your behalf. After a few weeks of talking about you and her giving me a shoulder to lean on, she kissed me. She came onto me, but I let it happen. After worrying for the past few months about you, it felt great having someone interested in satisfying my needs. I know you don’t want to hear this but I need you to understand. I was vulnerable, lost for what I should do. You kept getting worse and I felt alone. She means nothing to me; she was an excuse not to think about losing you. I kept feeling like you were never going to be ok, that you might even die. I needed to remove myself because watching you decaying was killing me.” After a long pause, Ali fell to his knees then doubled over. “Get the fuck up, I’m not going to fall for this crap!’ After a minute passed, Maria bent down to check if he was breathing. When she touched Ali’s face, he gasped for air with a look of death on his face. He mumbled “I deserve to die, leave me.” Freaking out, Maria slapped him in the face. “Get the fuck up, were going to the hospital, now!” Enraged and scared, Maria called 911, after a few routine questions she flipped on the operator. “You know our location; send the fucking ambulance before my fucking husband dies. I swear to god I will sue the city, you, your boss, and the emergency team responsible for his care if he dies!” Taking a deep breath, Maria listened to the operator trying to calm her down. Bursting into tears, she started to plead for them to hurry up. The minute she heard the sirens get close to the building, she confirmed with the operator that they were coming for him. Quickly she opened the door hanging up and pulling Ali to the elevator bank, not wanting anyone to see the mess in the living room. Six men walked out of the elevator. Four were emergency workers, and the other two were police officers. The two uniforms made Maria ride the elevator with them, questioning her about what happened, if she witnessed him acting strange. Holding her tongue, Maria stated simply “I woke up to him like this.” The ride to the hospital was the same as the ride in the elevator. Never saying more than what she felt necessary, she stayed quiet, except the occasional whimper from her crying. Staying by his side the entire night into the morning she contemplated calling Ali’s parents. Fearing they would blame her for his stupidity, she
decided to wait until he woke. Speaking with his supervisor, Maria explained Ali was ill and had been taken to the hospital. After several hours of crying, Maria’s face was puffy and irritated. Noticing the time, 11:43, she stressed over Ali’s condition. “What if I let him just explain the first time he wanted to, we wouldn’t be here.” “Maria, what happened to Ali?” Startled, Maria looked up to see Ali’s parents walking towards her and Ali. “I don’t know, hey may have OD, but I really don’t know.” Philip, Ali’s Father confused and angry asked what she meant and what had happened. Muriel never took her eyes off her son, sobbing and caressing his face, she whispered “what did you do?” Maria put her head in her hands and started to tell them everything, leaving no detail untold. By the time she finished reciting the night’s events, she felt horrible, worse than before and wished she could die. “Why didn’t you call us, why did I have to find out from his boss? You should have called one of us when you got here. Maria, I… I…” Sobbing louder, Maria interrupted Philip to apologies. “I’m sorry; I didn’t want you to worry or to see him in this condition. I was waiting for him to wake up. Please believe me; I just wanted to spare you the grief.” “How long have you been here?” “Since just before 4am this morning, I haven’t left his side. His condition hasn’t changed.” Muriel, looking up to Maria said “we could have been here, you should have called, you should have…” stopping herself, she quickly rolled her eyes and gazed hopefully at her son. Ali laid cold and barely breathing. If it wasn’t for the oxygen machine pumping up and down along with his heart monitor giving his stats, you would think it was time to call it.
After Ali’s heart went erratic, his heart rate reaching 162, and steadily increasing to 183 over the course of three minutes, it didn’t look good. Maria was the only one still in the emergency room with Ali. Everyone else took a break. She watched in horror for over fifteen minutes as one doctor turned into six, and one nurse turned to eight. A crash cart appeared, and everything was happening way to fast. Scared and fearing the worse, Maria sobbed uncontrollably. The love of her life was dying… Chapter 2 Several prayers later and during her trip down to the hospital church, Maria made a deal with god or for that matter the devil. “If you spare him and allow him to fulfill his destiny, you can take me. I won’t make a fuss, just wake him up. My life is over anyways. Please take me instead.” Meanwhile in the ICU room, as Ali’s coma reach hour 17, the doctors were still lost and couldn’t explain why the young man hadn’t woken up yet. Reassuring everyone “he will wake up; it’s just a matter of when”. After a few more minutes of pleading in the hospital church, Maria made the sign of the cross, dipped her finger in the holy water, blessed her forehead and walked back upstairs. Philip was desperately trying to wake his son. After yelling and threatening, he resorted to applying pain. Witnessing the doctors do this several times to get a slight response, he figured it was worth a try. At hour 19, Ali screamed out “STOP IT”, to Philips pain technique. Thankfully Ali shortly regained full consciousness. Kissing him on the forehead, and caressing his hand, so he could feel her presence; Maria was so happy. She whispered to him “baby, were all here; your mom, dad, me, your aunt, my aunt, your cousins…. everyone.” Ali looked at Maria with discontented and whispered “You never listen, I told you I deserve to die, and you shoulda left me to die!” With that being said he pulled himself to the other side of his bed and asked his father how long he had been asleep. Telling his mother and father he was sorry and ignoring his wife’s presence.
Maria, wounded and furious, grabbed her sweater and walked out of the ICU. As she walked out, she let everyone know he was awake. “Ya’ll can see him, he’s woke.” “I should have let him die; I shoulda let him die…. He came back because he didn’t want to die! I would never in a million years let him die…but I shoulda.” After thirty minutes of crying and praying for answers, Maria left the chapel and thought about going back upstairs, instead opting to go home. As she walked out the hospital Philip was standing there smoking a cigarette. “Where did you go, we have been looking for you. Ali keeps asking for you.” “Did he say what he wanted? Or is he going to spew more venom at me for saving his life?” “Maria, go inside, please, for Muriel and my sake” “Sure” Walking back upstairs and through the double doors, Maria had a sinking feeling, and against her better judgment she entered his ICU room. “They said you wanted me.” “Maria, I’m sorry. I am sorry for everything.” “Don’t worry about it, you’re alive and we will both be fine. I am happy you’re awake now, you had everyone scarred!” “Thank you for saving me, I woulda died had you not saved me.” “No problem, do you need anything?” responding more coldly than she intended. “I am ok, are you leaving or are you going to stay with me?” “Your out of the woods now, you don’t need me, your family is here, and I haven’t been home yet. I need a shower and to eat something, I haven’t eaten since dinner when we went out. Besides, I am sure you would prefer “her” to be here, not me.”
“You’re my wife, I want you here!” “I have to go, its 1am and I’m exhausted. My nerves are shot, I need to go.” With that being said she kissed him on the forehead and started to walk out. “You’re coming back tomorrow, right?” “If you need me to…” “Good” She didn’t even have a chance to take a shower before she fell asleep; it was as if she threw herself from the door. Ignoring the mess and heading straight for the bed.
Is this the beginning of the end? I need to disappear, let him handle his own mess. Where can I go? Who do I turn to? Chapter 3 “Hello” “Are you coming?” “Ali visiting hours don’t start until 11. Its 8:30 in the morning. What do you need?” “Are you coming?” “You already asked me that…. Do you not want me to come?” Hearing the desperateness in his voice she couldn’t tell whether he wanted her to come or if he was asking because someone else was already going. “Maria, I want you to come. I miss you. I want to see you. Please come.” “Ali, I will be there at 11, do you need anything?” “Just you…” Getting up from the bed, Maria prepared herself for the day ahead. Shortly after her shower she checked her e-mail to see if she was bold enough to respond to her e-mail. To her delight, she only had spam in her inbox. Arriving at the hospital with 30 minutes to spare, Maria went up to the chapel. After listening to the priest pre-recorded sermon, she approached him with a couple of question seeking guidance. After explaining everything that happened, the priest flat out told her she needs to repent her sins. He continued to explain that her husband went outside of her marriage, but it is unacceptable for her to leave him in his time of need. Her vows to Ali need to be upheld, no matter what he has done. As he talked she felt like half of herself…. Gone was her pride, her strength, her emotional stability… replaced with self doubt and an aching feeling. After ten minutes of his lecture on the sanctity of marriage and her role in the downfall, Maria was miserable and dreaded facing Ali.
As she made her way to the ICU, she received a text message on Ali’s phone from Jade. “Bitch, when I see you I’m a whoop your cripple ass. You fuck with the wrong bitch. I’m crazy; you have no one to protect you. Watch bitch! When your done upstairs with my man, I’m a catch you.” Maria exploded inside the empty elevator. “That’s it! Fuck this shit! I’m done! I’m going to get locked up for killing that bitch and when I finish whipping the floor with her, I’m going to fucking kill him!” Breathing heavy, almost snorting as she exited the elevator she walked to his room. “Hey baby.” “Ali, for the last time, you are not allowed to call me baby!” “Sorry Maria, what’s wrong?” “Nothing, I have some business to handle. Is your girlfriend coming today? Does she know what floor you’re on? Is she waiting for me to leave to come up?” “I only spoke with you, no one else. I swear. I don’t know” “Interesting” “Maria, why are acting like this. Tell me what’s going on.” “Your bitch of a girlfriend threatened me, she said some interesting things. Like how she’s going to beat my cripple ass and how she’s waiting for me outside the hospital.” Breathing heavier she continued “So what’s the real deal. Is she here am I going to have to go to jail or is she full of shit?” “Let it go, she ain’t nothing” “Ali, I know she isn’t anything. That doesn’t mean I want my face cut up by her crazy ass!” “She wont, I’ll call her.” “You’re more concerned about her, aren’t you? More concerned about what she thinks of you. How she will blow your little cover at work.”
Seeing right through his bullshit, Maria decided it was time to go home. “I guess by your silence, it’s time for me to go” Getting up and putting on her coat, Maria walked towards the door. “You’re not going to say goodbye?” “Ali, Good Bye” “Why did you say it as it’s the last time I will see you?” “Have a good life.” “Maria please, I am going to see you later, right?” Walking out the door without another word, Maria felt crushed and breathless. As she walked towards the elevator the tears started to roll down her face, as if a faucet was running. Exiting the hospital she called her mother. Barely coherent Maria uttered on her cell “Mommy I need help” “Maria, I can’t understand you, what’s going on?” “Mommy please I need to leave, please help me” “Maria, STOP CRYING! I can’t understand you.” “I need to leave” “Why, where do you want to go?” “Fly me to you” “Maria what’s going on?” “Mommy please just fly me to you.” Agitated by Maria’s incoherent-ness Carmen begins to yell into the phone “Maria tell me what’s going on! I can’t understand you.” “He’s having a fucking baby! Cant you just help me, why do you always have to be so cold to me, I needed you damn it!” Slamming the phone shut after her last word.
Maria then called her sister, blubbering about what’s going on and how she needs to leave “please Jas, get mommy to buy me a ticket for tomorrow, please” After walking for six blocks Maria’s legs started to buckle, as she sat down on the steps of a brown stone her cell phone starts to ring, its Ali. Ignoring the call, she calls her sister and gets her voicemail. “Jas please I am desperate, please help me. If I stay here one more day I will lose the little sanity I have left. Please” Once she got her bearings, Maria was back on her feet walking the rest of the way home. Furiously she gathered her belonging, in her haste she forgot to call her friends and let them know she was leaving. Not remembering until she boarded her plane to Florida. “No cell phone or electronic devices” The sign read as she past the flight attendant. Once everyone was seated they went through there life saving instructions and reminded passengers that no electronic devices were allowed. “They will have to wait” she thought to herself as she prepared herself for her 3 hour flight. Maria later thought to herself and made a mental note to send a mass e-mail to everyone. Happily once the doors were shut, Maria had her row all to herself. While whisking through the clouds she questioned her marriage, her life choices, and her current decision. “Will I be able to handle living with them, the constant drama?” letting out a sigh she smiled thinking about how much she missed them and how she can’t wait to see them. It had been almost six months since she had seen their faces, a sight she missed. She kept thinking about her niece and how much fun she will have with her. Trying not to think of the past few days she reluctantly did, crying to herself tracing over her wedding ring. Calming herself she fell asleep. As the plane started to descend Maria woke and started to feel the sorrow and confusion welling up again, whipping her face and telling herself “You’re doing the right thing”; she calmed down. All the negative feelings started to disappear as she saw all the nice homes with pools and green grass. With the incredibly rocky landing, Maria was thrilled to be pulling up to the gate. “I’m here” Maria said into the phone as she exits, starting to cry, the flight attendant asks if she was ok, Maria looked up and smiled saying “I’m going to be fine, thanks.”
She made it past all the Disney world vacationers and looked around for her mother. Searching through all the people she finally spotted a woman that resembled her mother. As she got close she realized it wasn’t her, turning around she saw her mom. “Maria” bellowed the older version of Maria. Extending her arms with a great big smile, Carmen embraced her daughter. Whispering and apology in Maria’s ear as Maria rested her head on her shoulder. When she pulled back Maria was in full tears, unable to speak. “Everything happens for a reason, it will work itself out, if you two were meant to be you will be, but right now you need time to heal yourself.” On the car ride to her new home, Maria told her mother about the dream she had had.
Sheer electricity lingered in the air, the excitement Maria felt was pulsing so loudly, it was almost overwhelming the 24yr old. Chapter 1. The caramel completion, 5’2” voluptuous diva hadn’t been out in the city in years. Men young and old seemed to take notice to every step she made. As she strut her stuff across the crowded lounge, she wondered if men paid her this much attention everyday and she never noticed. As she coyly smiled while she took off her coat, she noticed she was no longer alone. Being the complete opposite of Ali, Michael arrived right on time. Maria was intrigued by his raw sex appeal. With long soft dreads, coiled from root to tip, this chocolate Adonis made many women and a few men stop in their tracks to take another glimpse of his muscular frame and chiseled face. With strong, exotic features, reaching the sky at 6’5” he was surely a sight to be seen. As he made his way to the table Maria was seated at, Michaels street growl and thug exterior softened to a charming smile. The man was truly excited to see his date and couldn’t hide his delight. “Good evening luscious…” “Luscious?” “A woman as sexy and drop dead gorgeous as you can only be described as “LUSCIOUS”.” “You’re already running game on me, I’m Flattered, but before you start buttering me up, I think we should put all our cards on the table.” With the look of a deflating ego, he responded quickly. “I’m strictly here to get to know you, I have no tricks up my sleeves and I have no intention of running game on you.” With a defiant air about her that he wasn’t used to seeing in women, most of them turn to mush under his confident stare and good looks, Maria showed him she was the kind of woman that made men stronger, she was an equal; she was the type of woman he rarely came across. Maria wasn’t having any bullshit…
“Look Michael, I am freshly out of a relationship. My marriage crumbled after what I thought were years of happiness. I have been lied to, cheated on, and neglected. I’m not interested in being played again. I know the games men play and I’m neither interested nor willing to go through another roller coaster ride. I am sure a man with your good looks and ability to attract women, you have a book filled with women you have either been intimate with or are planning on being intimate with, like a check list. I don’t want to become another number for you to call on, on a lonely Friday night. I have a lot to offer and deserve a lot in return. I’m not looking for you to be my man, or replace my husband, but I think I should keep it real with you and let you know what I expect.” As Michael pause to ingest every word Maria had spoken, he smiled and caressed her hand. “Maria, I want to get to know you. I know under you tough exterior is a woman who was hurt. I’m not your husband. I have no intentions of hurting you. I think you’re worth getting to know. I’m not like most other men; I’ve been hurt and never want to hurt a woman. Especially not one quite as special as I think you are. I’m not out here trying to get a nut, I mean there are exceptions” winking, he continued, “I really am a good guy. If you’re still interested in enjoying dinner with me, I am sure I can prove it to you. What do you say?” Smirking, Maria took an extra long pause for dramatics and said “what do you recommend?” With a sigh of relief, Michael opened his menu and said “I’ve never been here before, but I heard their fresh pastas and seafood dishes are delicious. What ever I get, I’d be happy to share mine with you.” With a good man by Maria’s side, she finds herself questioning her heart. Is her insecurities resurfacing because her health issues are coming back or is she still in love with Ali. “It ain’t that faggot ass nigga” she said out loud while brushing her hair in the mirror. “You just don’t want to get hurt while being ill again, it’s ok, relax.” Putting the brush down she turns the water on, submerging her face in the icy cold water she exhales and as the air bubbles reach the surface she pulls herself out hearing the echoing voice from the hall.
“Are you ok baby?” A strong manly voice bellows from outside the bathroom. Mathew, a slightly younger man with caramel skin and broad shoulders, with the most kissable lips she had ever felt, a man with strong arms and the stamina of a horse was her new beau. After going through several good and bad dates, a man like Mathew was hard to come by. A few weeks before meeting Mathew, Maria had a fantastic first date with Michael, but her unfortunate second date with him left her disgusted with men in general. Michael was gorgeous and seemed to be perfect, except his true colors showed when that man decided to make some inappropriate jokes and sexual advances, he told her she needs to appreciate his company “baby, you need to enjoy the ride on my gravy boat”. Revolted by his lack of respect, she left him sitting in his “gravy boat”. Disgusted with men, maria found herself settling for a younger man who was non threatening