Pastoral Care Â
by Bill and Wilma Watson
CONTENT: SESSION 1: THE ROLE OF A PASTORAL CARER ………………….………….… 3 Correct Protocol for Home Visits ……………. …………………………………….……8 Correct Protocol for Hospital Visits…………………………………………………….…9
SESSION 2: THE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION……………………………..…12 Dealing with Forgiveness …………………………………………… ..……………..……….15 Dealing with Shame ……………………………………………………………………...18
SESSION 3: THE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION Dealing with Grief and Loss………………………………………………………........ 24 Turning Conflict into Solvable Problems
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SESSION 4: THE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION………………………………..35 Dealing with Bondages or Strongholds……………………………….………………..35 Prayer Selection That Will Bring Effect………………………………………………....39
TOPICAL LIST OF SCRIPTURE REFERENCES……………………………………..42
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Session One – The Role of a Pastoral Carer What is Pastoral Care? Pastoral care offers emotional and spiritual support, love, care and acceptance. It is showing forth God’s love to those who are troubled or hurting by being there for them in their time of need, offering prayer, encouragement and practical help.
The Heart of a Pastoral Carer In the Bible, the relationship that is given to us between God and mankind is that of a father and his children or a shepherd and his sheep.
1. A Shepherd’s heart – the Good Shepherd (Jesus) is our example as shown in Psalm 23.
A Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep John 10:11 - “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
A Shepherd cares for the sheep Psalm 23:1 Amplified Bible - “The Lord is my Shepherd (to feed, guide and shield me); I shall not lack.”
A Shepherd leads the sheep Jesus words in John 10:27 - “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow me.” And Psalm 23:3 from the Amplified Bible - “He leads me in the paths of righteousness (uprightness and right standing with Him).”
2. A compassionate heart Speaking of Jesus, Matthew 9:36 says, “When he saw the crowd, he felt sorry for them because they were hurting and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Listen to the Good Shepherd’s heart in Ezekiel 34:15-16, which explains the role of a spiritual shepherd – a Pastoral Carer. “I will feed my flock and lead them to rest, says the Lord God. I will search for the lost, bring back those that strayed away, put bandages on those that were hurt, and make the weak strong.” Galatians 6:2 encourages us to - “Bear one another burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.” ‘Bear’ means in this context: to hold up and support. 3
A word of warning, we are told to ‘bear’ one another’s burdens, not ‘carry’ them! It is important that each night, the Pastoral Carer casts the burdens of the day on the Lord, as we are encouraged to in Psalm 55: 22 - “Cast your burdens on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.”
3. A loving heart Jesus instructs us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) God longs for all of our affection. 1 John 5:21 in the Amplified Bible encourages every child of God to: “keep yourselves from idols – false gods, (from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life).” Having given God all of our affection, a deep love for others will flow naturally. 1 John 4:21 says, “The commandment that God has given us is: "Love God and love each other!"
Loving others involves reconciling people to God and others Listen to 2 Corinthians 5:18. It says, “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” We are a spirit; we have a soul and live in a body. The Lord Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit, longs to have unchallenged access to the human soul. Pastoral Care is spiritual care. It is connecting people so that they will have unbroken fellowship with God.
The Holy Spirit Enables Us Romans 15:14 in the Amplified Bible says, “I am satisfied about you, my brethren, that you are rich in goodness, amply filled with all knowledge, and competent to counsel one another.” ‘Counsellor’ is not a church office appointment, but biblically, the Holy Spirit is the counsellor. John 16:13 - “He will guide you into all truth…” John 16:8 - “He will convict the world of sin, righteousness and judgement…” Isaiah 9:6 - “He (Jesus) will be called Wonderful, Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
The Holy Spirit is called “Paracletos” in John 14:16 - “I will ask the Father to send you the Holy Spirit who will help you and always be with you.” (Also 15:26; and 16:7.) It is variously translated: Consoler, Comforter, Helper, Counsellor, Advocate and Intercessor. 4
What does Paracletos do? If we could really appreciate that, we would understand better our role as Pastoral Carers. The word ‘Paracletos’ in ancient Greek law means someone called to one’s side to help or defend, usually in a law suit, an advocate. The verb ‘paraklein’ is the word for encouraging, comforting, strengthening and counselling.
Use of the gifts of the Spirit In order to minister effectively, the Holy Spirit will give the Pastoral Carer ministry gifts – in 1 Corinthians 8-10, for example, word of wisdom, word of knowledge, faith, gifts of healings, miracles, prophecy and distinguishing between spirits. Isaiah 11:2-3 says, “The Spirit of the Lord will rest upon him - the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord.”
The commission of a Pastoral Carer: Jesus said in John 20:2, “As the Father has sent me so send I you.” The same anointing upon the Good Shepherd is upon the Pastoral Carer: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor; He has sent me to announce release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind; to send forth delivered those who are oppressed – who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed and broken down by calamity.” (Luke 4:18-19 Amplified Bible)
The Holy Spirit Is the Spirit of Change Whenever the Holy Spirit comes into a life, people are changed. The sinner is saved, the blind see, the lame leap, the sad are glad and the depressed are set free. The Bible says “grow in grace” - change! “Put off the old man - put on the new” - change! “You who were once afar off are now made nigh” - change!
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Pastoral Care is Love in Action Pastoral care involves listening to the Care Recipient and the Holy Spirit. It requires the use of the gifts of the Holy Spirit as seen in 1 Corinthians 8-10. When the Care Recipient relates to you his or her story, you do not listen with your natural ears alone, but with the ears of the Holy Spirit. A loving attitude on your part will do much to reassure the person that he or she is in good hands.
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You effectively communicate through correct body language Body language consists of facial expression, posture and gestures made. Your body language will determine your level of communication. Don't: look at your watch yawn sigh tap your fingers pat your hair fiddle with something look down or away sit with your hands behind your head These body languages can send the wrong message and block communication. Other roadblocks that inhibit effective communication are: your empathy before they have finished sharing diverting from the problem, e.g. “What we do here is...” “When I was in a similar situation...” . giving ‘you’ messages can also create roadblocks in communication. e.g. “You must...”, “You have to...”, “You will...”, “You ought to...”, “Why don't you...” “You are not thinking correctly...”
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2. You effectively communicate by being a good listener The ability to listen well is the primary ingredient in any caring relationship. When listening is done properly it sends a message to the other that they are valued, cared for, respected and loved. Listen for not only the words and facts, but the feelings that lie behind them. Listen for:
Emotional reactions - e.g. unforgiveness, anger, fear, guilt, rejection, rebellion.
Loss of dreams and hopes - e.g. a job, home, cherished item, money or part of their body. Loss of a relationship e.g. - the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of expectations of pastor or church, friend or parents.
Unmet basic needs and unsatisfied deep longings.
Abusive behaviour – either spiritual, emotional, physical, or sexual, resulting in addictions: Chemical addictions - alcohol, drugs. Food addictions - obesity, anorexia nervosa, bulimia. Emotional addictions - emotions can be used either positively or negatively, but if used negatively over a period of time, they can become addictive, eg, rage, depression, fear, shame, guilt, self-righteousness. Thought addictions - mental obsession, intellectualising, detailing. Activity addictions - perfectionism, competitiveness, gambling, excessive working, buying, hoarding, reading, exercising, watching television, video games, rescuing others, sport. Sexual addictions - pornography, voyeurism, bestiality, incest, homosexuality, rape, molestation.
Previous or present involvement in false religions Eastern or pagan religions Christian cults e.g. Mormonism, Jehovah's Witness, Christadelphians or Christian Science. Black magic and/or New Age practices False doctrine e.g. Humanism
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3. You effectively communicate by responding appropriately
Sometimes we may need to say nothing. In this case communication is done by just being with the person.
Sometimes it calls for a non-committal response to acknowledge that you are listening and interested, e.g. “I see”, “Oh”, “Ok”, “Uh”, “Understand”.
Sometimes you may need to invite the Care Recipient to say more. e.g. “Please go on, I would like to hear more.”
Respond by identifying feelings and then paraphrase. This helps the other person to understand that they are important, that they are being understood and facilitates the communication. e.g. Care Recipient: “I just can't get down to studying. I can find everything to do except study. I wash the car, clean up my room, even though I have an important test the next day.” You paraphrasing: “That must be puzzling for you, knowing that you can't make yourself study even when it is important to you.”
Sometimes extra resources may be necessary to help with decisionmaking. For example; sharing Bible verses that they may not have thought of.
4. You are effective when you follow correct protocol Correct protocol for home visits 1. Need to pray before visiting and afterwards to cover yourself if necessary. 2. Need for accountability. Understand that you are representing Jesus and your church. 3. Care recipients need to be visited by their same gender or husband and wife. 4. Off-load what you are not able to handle to the Head of the Pastoral Care – particularly anything that may need to be reported to authorities. 5. Need for confidentiality. In James 5:14, it says we are to call for the elders, which infers mature people; people who have the ability to handle the problem without sharing it with everyone else; people who will not abuse confidentiality. 6. Need not to judge, label or categorise, but to show love and acceptance at all times.
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7. Need to be dependable. Make an appointment and always be on time. 8. Need to be sensitive to how long you visit.
9. Need to guard against any inappropriate emotional reactions as a result of your own unmet needs and insecurities.
10. Need to exercise discernment as you can get two different sides of a story.
11. Need to be tender and go only as far as the Care Recipient desires.
12. Don’t react if your advice is not taken.
13. Don’t be casual about offering help. 14. Read the Bible and ask to pray before leaving.
Correct protocol for hospital visits (a) Introduce yourself to the Ward Nurse manager at the reception (b) Ask for the Room or Bed number (c) Enquire regarding: (i) visiting hours? (ii) Doctor visiting? (iii) Meal times? (iv) Am/pm? (v) Parking? (vi) Duration? (d)
Be caring and sensitive.
(e)
Allow the patient to express concerns and feelings, however be careful not to show your concerns and feelings.
(f)
Do not give medical or legal advice.
(g) Seek to read the Word and ask if you could pray before leaving.
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(h)
Need for confidentiality. Do not share known diagnosis or treatment with others.
5. You can pray with effect when you identify the root cause of the problem The root cause of a problem can be discovered through a Word of Knowledge or by listening to the Holy Spirit and the Care Recipient share their concerns with you. Ask if the problem or sickness could be related to something that happened in the past. (You may need to explain why you are asking.) Never accuse the person of sin. Gently allow the Holy Spirit to show the Care Recipient what needs to be put right with others and God. For example: How long have you had this concern? Do you know what the cause is? Do you remember what was happening in your life when this condition started? Did anything traumatic happen to you about the time your condition began? Has there been a loss in the family, such as an abortion? Do you see a pattern to this? Do you find it difficult to forgive? Never take for granted that a person has assurance of salvation. Ask, “When did you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour? “ If they are not sure on their response ask, “If you died tonight, would you go to Heaven?”
Reconciling To God 2 Corinthians 5:20 says, “We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” To establish a relationship with God, the Bible speaks of being ‘born again’ and becoming a child of God. If they are not sure, show how they can be sure. I have helped many find assurance of salvation by showing them on paper the following verses.
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The human condition Fact one:
Romans 3:23: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:10: "There is no-one righteous, not even one." Personalise this statement, "--- (Tom) is a sinner."
Fact two:
Romans 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Personalise this statement, "---- must die as a result of sin."
Fact three:
Hebrews 9:27: "Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgement." Personalise this statement, "-------- must be judged."
God’s remedy Step one:
To deal with sin, there has to be the shedding of Blood. 1 John 1:7 (Amp): "The blood of Jesus His Son cleanses (removes) us from every sin and guilt."
Step two:
To deal with death, there must be life. John 5:24: "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life..."
Step three:
To deal with judgement, there becomes no judgement. John 5:24: "…and will not be judged; he has crossed over from death to life."
It is not enough to know about it - you must receive salvation. John 1:12 shows who you believe, who you receive and what you become. "To all who receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." The question is, has the Care Recipient received Jesus, or do they just know about Him? If someone offered you a gift, you would reach out your hand and receive it. In the same way, you can receive from God forgiveness of sins as a gift, and become a child of God.
Prayer: “Lord Jesus, I believe you died on the Cross for me. Forgive me for my sins. I receive you, Jesus, as my Saviour and Lord. Make me a child of God.” 11
Session Two - Pastoral Care – The Ministry of Reconciliation – Forgiveness & Shame In Session One, we mentioned ways to effectively communicate with a Care Recipient: 1. You effectively communicate through correct body language. 2. You effectively communicate by being a good listener. 3. You effectively communicate by responding appropriately. 4. You can pray with effect when you identify the root cause of the problem. 5. You are effective when you follow correct protocol. We also said in Session One that loving others involves reconciling people to God and others helping the Care Recipient to be restored to a condition of wholeness. We read from 2 Corinthians 5:18 - “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
Reconciling the Care Recipient to Self and Others We suggested last time the importance of recognising the root cause of a problem. This can be achieved through a word of knowledge or discernment as you engage in conversation.
Case study: Tom, a single man in his mid-twenties and a Bible college student, seeks your help over a problem which he says is beyond his control. He claims that he fails at everything – college studies, relationships with the opposite gender, pleasing his parents (especially his father) and many other things. Tom confesses to have a huge dislike of his father who is a retired army officer who, although he has never opposed Tom’s decision to enter Bible College, often ridicules his Christian faith. This greatly irritated Tom, and he tells you that if it were not for the deep affection of his mother he would never go home in his mid-term breaks. The Bible College course has encouraged Tom to believe that God accepts him as he is and that a great ministry lies ahead of him. He says that the most rewarding and thrilling moments of his life are when he is teaching or preaching from the Bible. He adds that after almost every sermon he preaches, people come up to him and say how much they were blessed by what he said. Outside of these moments, however, there hangs over him a nagging sense of despair.
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After a few moments of silence, Tom blurts out, “There is something that I have to tell you. I have a constant problem with pornography… This compulsion is killing me and I don’t know how long I can go on like this.” A further silence ensues after which Tom says, “If only if I could get on good terms with my father, I think that would be the major step towards being set free from my other problems. I am disturbed about the growing sense of anger within me towards my father and I know God doesn’t want me to be angry. Can you help me?” As a Pastoral Carer, how can we help Tom? The Amplified Bible says, “Therefore also now, says the Lord, turn and keep on coming to Me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping, and with mourning (until every hindrance is removed and the broken fellowship restored.)” Joel 2:12
Where there is no repentance, there can be no reconciliation Repentance signifies a humble acknowledgment of wrong-doing, a total turning away from wrong-doing, and a sincere and unreserved submission to God. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners! And purify your hearts, double minded ones!” Peter Wagner states that cleaning our hands refers to what we do. Purifying our hearts refer to our motives – what we think and feel.
How do we purify our hearts? 1. A pure heart comes by obeying the truth. 2. 1 Peter 1:22 - “Now that you purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have a sincere love for your brothers, love for one another deeply, from the heart. 3. A pure heart comes from putting off and putting on. Ephesians 4:22-24 says, "You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
The Bible says we are to PUT OFF. Putting off is an act of the will and a true sign of repentance.
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Dealing with Unforgiveness Tom confessed that he had a huge dislike of his father. I want to show you how ‘dislike’ is rooted in unforgiveness – even if someone tells you, “I’ve forgiven.” Tom needed to understand the Bible principle in the following verse and forgive his father. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you.” When the Care Recipient says, “I’ve forgiven”, and yet shows signs of having not forgiven, explain the Bible principle of confessing to another brings healing and release.
The need to forgive and let it drop Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Jesus said that, if we want our prayers answered, we must willingly forgive others. Without forgiveness it is impossible to make your faith work. Jesus did not say it was just a nice thing to do. No, He declared in Mark 11:25 - "If you hold anything against anyone FORGIVE him”. It was a command! This verse in the Amplified Bible says, ".... if you have anything against anyone, FORGIVE HIM AND LET IT DROP.” Ephesians 4:31,32 says, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every other form of malice.” (cruel talk) "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” What do you think is the biggest single factor that causes spiritual shipwreck? Is it jealousy, dishonesty, impurity or even prayerlessness? No, it is the inability to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice and sometimes the Pastoral Carer is needed to assist a wounded person to forgive the one or ones who has caused pain.
Uncovering the Depth of Unforgiveness Unforgiveness leads to resentment. Resentment leads to bitterness. Bitterness leads to hate (dislike). Hate leads to rebellion (anger turned outward) or rejection (anger turned inward.) This can affect: 14
Our minds - paranoia, fantasies, obsessive thoughts Our emotions - depression and anxieties Our bodies - tension headaches, nervous stomachs, asthma, allergies, some arthritis, insomnia, hypertension and heart problems Ephesians 4:26 says that when we choose to remain angry and not forgive, we allow Satan to take advantage of us. Unforgiveness opens the door to the enemy. Forgiveness closes the door. It says, “If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry – get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.”
How to Release Others in Forgiveness In Luke chapter 6 and verse 37 it says, "Forgive and you will be forgiven." In the margin, the literal translation is "release and you will be released." This includes forgiving God, others and forgiving one’s self! Forgiveness is like when someone ‘owes’ you, but you choose to cancel the debt. Releasing someone through forgiveness does not mean that you are declaring the person who hurt you innocent, but rather you are releasing yourself from being the judge and wanting justice. You are choosing to allow God to be the judge and bring about justice either here or in eternity. Only he knows the thoughts and intents of your heart, and the actions and motivation of others. If you choose to truly forgive someone, you are cancelling their debt. If you cancel their debt, you will remove the roots of unforgiveness. Forgiveness is like plucking out weeds – roots and all! If we truly forgive someone, we cannot `blame' them, even though to the rational mind they are `blameworthy'. Then it follows, that if we do not `blame' them we cannot `resent' them. If we do not `resent' them, we cannot hold bitterness against them. If we do not hold bitterness, then we do not hate (or dislike) them. If we do not hate, then Satan cannot hold us in bondage to emotional or many physical (psycho-somatic) illnesses! Doctors affirm that as many as 70 or 80 percent of people in hospitals have illnesses that are psychosomatic in origin. Was Jesus warning us, in the verse above, when He said, "If you release you will be released"? 15
Unforgiveness can be a major obstacle to healing. If it appears that someone wronged the person about the time the condition started, find out if the person has forgiven the other. If not, forgiveness should precede your prayer for healing. Does the Care Recipient need to forgive anyone who criticised, misjudged, snubbed, robbed, abandoned, cheated, shamed or physically, sexually or emotionally abused them? Do they need to forgive anyone who has offended them - a relative, partner, friend, work colleague, church leader or even God? Do they need to forgive their parents because of issues of covert and overt rejection, disappointment of gender, unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, death of a loved one, being over-protective, divorce, emotional abuse or for showing conditional love?
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Dealing with Shame Until recently, most people in Pastoral Care have overlooked the need to deal with shame. Now we understand that you can not only feel shame as a result of public disgrace, but there is a more subtle shaming which creates a sense of low self-worth. According to Genesis 2:25, before Adam and Eve sinned they felt good about themselves and “were not ashamed”. We learn in Genesis 3:8-11 that Adam experienced guilt as a result of his sin, and considering himself now flawed, he endeavoured to cover his shame. Shameful feelings of inadequacy or inferiority are usually passed down through families. The feeling of never doing well enough or being good enough, will leave you crying on the inside and performing on the outside to ‘measure-up’ and ‘cover-up’ the real you. To compensate for feelings of low self-worth, Christians can struggle and become trapped in a legalistic, performance-based, purpose-driven relationship with God that leaves them disillusioned, frustrated, condemned and feeling guilty. Shame can take over one's whole identity. When shame takes over one’s identity and a person feels painful feeling about one's self, it is called toxic shame. Toxic shame is often caused through inadequate nurturing as a result of emotional abandonment and physical or sexual abuse.
1. Emotional abandonment or abuse Emotional abandonment is usually a generational problem. Emotional abandonment is exhibited when the parent is an adult child, searching for someone to nurture them. Their own child senses this need, and unconsciously seeks to fulfil that need by being there for the parent - as opposed to the adult ‘being there’ for the child. This gives a false sense of security to the child, who feels needed, but lacks someone to care for his/her own needs and hence is left feeling abandoned. As a result, children who have not had their emotional needs met are left with shameful feelings, exhibited in low self-worth, emptiness, loneliness or depression. Unfortunately, an abandoned person is usually admired for their achievement and grow up putting more emphasis on `doing' rather than on ‘being'. Tom, in our case study, found his identity in ‘doing’ (while teaching or preaching) instead of finding his identity in ‘being’ a child of God. 17
A Christian may seek to `measure up' and act the role that a `good' Christian should play, without fully understanding that God’s love and acceptance does not depend on what they do, but who they are.
2. Physical abuse As the child fails to meet the unmet needs of the parent, this may be interpreted as rejection, so the parent expresses anger and frustration through physical abuse. The child then feels abandoned, as no one is there for his/her emotional or physical needs! Children are idealistic in their thinking. It would not occur to them that parents have problems, so they often conclude that they must be the problem. Children then become bonded to parents out of shame and terror; as abuse continues, lack of self-worth and self-hate take over. Shame-bound emotions result also when witnessing physical abuse between parents, as the child feels he/she is to blame.
3. Sexual abuse Sexual abuse in any form is the most shaming of all. Abuse is when a person uses his/her power or position and authority to force another person to perform in order to meet his/her needs. Sexual abuse can lead to a wrong understanding of sex, which manifests itself either in avoidance of sex, or in excessive sexual behaviour.
Addictions Can be Born in an Attempt to ‘Cover up’ Toxic Shame Bradshaw (1988:95-107), in his book Healing the Shame that Binds You, discusses these addictions. He proclaims that addictions are born in an attempt to ‘cover up’ and help deal with the painful feelings one has about one’s self. Shameful feelings of inadequacy or inferiority can cause people to cover-up their pain by using any of the addictions below:
Chemical addictions - alcohol, drugs
Food addictions - obesity, anorexia nervosa, bulimia
Emotional addictions - emotions can be used either positively or negatively, but if used negatively over a period of time, they can become addictive, e.g., rage, depression, fear, shame, guilt, self-righteousness
Thought addictions - mental obsession, intellectualising, detailing 18
Activity addictions - perfectionism, competitiveness, gambling, excessive working, buying, hoarding, reading, exercising, watching television, play stations, caretaking, rescuing others, sport
Sexual addictions - pornography, voyeurism, bestiality, incest, homosexuality, rape, molestation
Other forms of covering up an identity include such things as titles, professions, church work, dress, possessions, talents or supporting a particular social or political stand
Shameful Feelings Produce a Game of Control A shame-bound person conveys a sense of control. Self-value is only achieved in meeting certain standards for deep down, is the feeling of never ‘doing well enough’ or ‘being good enough’.
How to Deal with Coping Mechanisms and Bad Habits with the Root Problem Being Toxic Shame In our case study, Tom shared how he struggled with pornography. How can we, as Pastoral Carers, help Tom? 1. Encourage Tom to: Choose to have God meet his needs Put off wrong thoughts Put on the Lord Jesus Christ 2. Pray for Tom. Choosing the appropriate prayer selection for maximum results will be discussed in the final session.
To reconcile Tom to God, he needs to repent for using pornography to help ease his pain, instead of looking to God to meet his need
To reconcile Tom to his father, he needs to forgive his father
Minister healing to Tom for abandonment by his father
Break strongholds of association
Pray for Tom to be filled with the Holy Spirit
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1. Choose to have God meet our every need The Bible tells us that “God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need.” (Philippians 4:19) Not wanting to let the outside world see who we ‘think’ we are on the inside, Christians can be caught in many forms of coping mechanisms or addictions. Coping mechanism and addictions are idols. Martin Luther used to say, "Our god is that to which we give ourselves; that from which we seek our ultimate satisfaction." An idol is anything other than God that we run to, to meet our needs. 1 John 5:21 in the Amplified Bible says, “keep yourselves from idols – false gods, (from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life).”
2. Put off wrong thoughts Ephesians 4:22-24 says, "You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds." 2 Corinthians 4:2 in the Amplified Bible says, "We have renounced disgraceful ways secret thoughts, feelings, desires and underhandedness, methods and acts that men hide through shame." These Scriptures tell us that we are to renounce, put off and get rid of secret thoughts, feelings, desires and acts promoted through shame. It then tells us how we are to do this, by being made new in the attitude of our mind.
You are made new in the attitude of your mind through receiving the truth of God’s Word, the Bible. The truth is that on the Cross, Jesus took upon himself our shame: that which causes us to feel that we are never doing well enough or being good enough. Adam’s sin nature, that which is bound in shame, has been exchanged for Christ’s life. A Christian no longer needs to feel shame-bound! When Jesus died on the cross for you and me, he didn’t only die for our sins, but to deal with our old sin nature and give us a new nature. Romans 6:10-11 says, “He died once for all, to end sin’s power… So look upon your old sin nature as dead and unresponsive to sin, and instead be alive to God.” 20
You can count on the fact that when you became a child of God, the power of sin was closed down, put out of action in your life. When Jesus rose from the dead, you were made alive. Jesus said he came to give us life. His life!
3. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ What does it mean to put on the Lord Jesus Christ? Romans 13:14a says, “Clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ.” We clothe ourselves with the presence of Jesus by surrendering, yielding and receiving all of his nature and attributes.
When we put on the Lord Jesus Christ, we put on his righteousness. When we chose by faith to become God’s precious child, we were counted as righteous. In Romans 3:24 we read, “by the free gift of God's grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus.” When you became God’s precious child, you entered into a new life, accepted by God for WHO you are – a child of his. In Romans 3:24 we read, “God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.” This truth means that a child of God does not have to obey a set of rules or feel that he or she has to be ‘good’ to get God’s love and acceptance. God’s grace, his love and acceptance, can’t be earned! They have to be received as a gift! Many do not fully understand this important truth and slip into a habit of trying to be good in order to gain God’s love and acceptance, when his love and acceptance are already given.
We accept that we became a child of God by God’s grace, but then when we mess up, we feel that we have to earn his love and acceptance, instead of daily receiving by faith his unconditional love and acceptance. You may not feel at one with God sometimes, but if you are a child of God, you stand before him accepted and right with him whether you feel you are accepted or not. You then seek to please him because of his love for you.
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Session Three - Pastoral Care – The Ministry of Reconciliation – Grief & Loss Grief is a natural emotional response to a negative impact or loss – it cannot be avoided. Everyone feels or experiences some level of grief in their life.
Grief is broken expectation from: 1.
Loss of dreams and hopes
For example: financial losses injury that can leave someone with a disability loss of a job loss of a home loss through redundancy loss of cherished items unachieved goals loss of expectation of a circumstance loss of expectations of a pastor or church
2. Loss of a relationship For example: the death of a loved one a divorce loss of expectation of a relationship e.g. spouse loss of a friend or parents loss of friendships through offence loss of friendship through change of job, school or by moving to another city
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Symptoms of Grief Possible emotional signs:
Disbelief / bewilderment Despair / hopelessness Sadness / feeling of disappointment Numbness Anger / rage Guilt /depression Self-pity / self focused Anxiety / nervousness Loneliness / feeling of emptiness
Mixed emotions: Care recipients may go through a mixture of emotions, feeling immense sadness one
moment and anger or loneliness the next, then feel normal and laugh. Mixed thoughts:
Care recipients may have mixed thoughts which include denial, confusion, a preoccupation or obsession about the one they are grieving, struggling with their absence, hallucinations and believing the deceased person is still with them.
Possible physiological signs:
Sleep disorder Change of appetite Withdrawal from people and activities Loss of motivation Tightening of the stomach/ chest or throat Panic attacks Sensitivity to sound General fatigue Stress can cause hair loss, skin disorder, migraines, nail-biting and weight loss or gain
Types of grief 1.
Godly grief, which leads to repentance. 2 Corinthians 7:10 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
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2.
Natural grief is when we pass through the grieving process of: Disbelief Questioning Anger Depression Guilt (false or true) Release of sorrow (weeping, sobbing and any other physical outlet that will release the pain). 2 Samuel 12:16 – 23 & John 11:35 Final acceptance of the situation and going on to rebuild one’s life.
The grieving process is the way a person heals and comes to terms with their loss.
3.
A wall of grief is when we fail to pass through the grieving process by not accepting the situation and releasing the one who has caused the grief, thereby opening oneself up to creating emotional, physical and spiritual repercussions.
1. Emotional repercussions of grief Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." This can produce:
Denial Anxiety Fear Anger Depression Self-pity Lack of communication Control of self Rebellion A swing from pain to pleasure - lust
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2. Physical repercussions of grief Since the Hebrew word for ‘grief’ means to be diseased, sick, weak, sorrowful or wounded, we can assume that many illnesses may have their origin in grief. Stress, from unresolved grief, can bring disease of the bones. Should the bones grow weak, blood conditions can eventuate, for the red marrow within the bone produces the red and white blood cells. Psalm 31:10 says, “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak." Psalm 32:3 says, "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long." Stress from unresolved grief, can not only affect our bones and bloodstream, but bring an imbalance of the adrenal hormones. In their book "Healing the Wounded Spirit", John and Paula Sandford (1985:437) cite Dr. Simonton (Getting Well Again), medical Director of the Cancer Counselling and Research Centre in Texas as saying that: "Psychological stress on the physical body, results in an imbalance of adrenal hormones which in turn creates greater susceptibility to carcinogenic substances, and finally results in suppression of immune activity, increase of abnormal cells, and cancerous growth."
3. Spiritual repercussions of grief Proverbs 15:13 says, "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 17:22 says, "A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken spirit drains your strength."
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How can we help a grieving person? Romans 12:15 says, “…Weep with those that weep…”
The Pastoral Carer can help by:
Being supportive and sensitive. A firm grip on the hand, an arm on the shoulder, a kiss or just being with them can speak louder than words.
Gently pray for them and with them for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
Being respectful and mindful not to impose on their privacy.
Helping them deal with expressed and hidden emotions. Give the grieving person the opportunity to cry and let go rather than repress their emotions.
Helping them recognise the grief. We can deny and cover up a deep wound, but until we are honest with ourselves and admit that we are hurting, we cannot begin the first step to freedom and healing.
Helping them re-adjust from their loss by allowing them to talk about how they feel.
Be patient and don’t put expectations and time limits on the grieving person.
Encourage them to be with other people so that they do not remain alone for too long.
Releasing Grief There are many hurting people suffering from a loss of expectation. Encourage the grieving person to release the one who has hurt or abandoned them. Someone has said, “God can heal a broken heart but he has to have all the pieces.” By giving God all the pieces, the grieving person is handing over to the Creator of the Universe their situation.
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Releasing is sometimes made easier by:
Forgiving: Forgive yourself when the loss has been ‘self-inflicted’ through loss of finances, loss caused by an accident or when an offence has caused a broken relationship. Forgive others that caused you grief. Forgive God if you are angry at him for allowing the loss. "Forgive and you will be forgiven." In the margin, the literal translation is "Release and you will be released." Luke 6:37 Releasing in forgiveness the one who has caused the grief is a powerful weapon in overcoming grief.
Smashing images: Jeremiah 23:29 says, "Is not my word like fire," declares the Lord, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?" The declaration of God's Word is likened to a hammer, to break within the mind a tormenting dream or picture, of some past hurtful experience. For example, in praying for someone who is suffering from grief as a result of rape, pray something like this: "Lord, according to your Word, I cast down that picture that she has in her mind of being raped." 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV.) says, "Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
Smashing spoken words: James 3:6 says, "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire." Negative words spoken over our lives can bring devastating results. If hurtful words have caused grief, then they need to be smashed.
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Cutting free from people, places and experiences: When people find it hard to let go and move through the grieving process it may be necessary to cut them free from those who have hurt them. In working through the grief process, there has to be a point at which there is a decision to release the person or situation and look ahead. Otherwise, the law of association means that you are negatively bound to the hurtful experience again and again, by seeing or being in a situation that brings back the bad memories. Philippians 3:13 says, "Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead."
God longs to heal the grieving person The word `salvation' is translated from the Greek `soteria', which literally means `safety and soundness' or wholeness.
God brings emotional healing to the broken hearted Jesus carried our sorrows on the Cross. Isaiah 53:3-5 says, “He was a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering...Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows." Jesus doesn’t heal memories, he heals wounds. Psalm 147:3 also says, "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds." Luke 4:18 (Amp.) says, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me...to send forth deliverance to those who are oppressed - who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed and broken by calamity."
God gives physical healing from conditions that have been a result of grief James 5:13-15a says, "Is anyone among you among you afflicted – ill-treated, suffering evil? He should pray… Is anyone among you sick? He should call for the church elders – the spiritual guides. And they should pray over him, anointing him with oil in the Lord’s name. And the pray of faith will save him that is sick, and the Lord will restore him.”
God gives spiritual healing to those who have been crushed and broken by calamity 28
Psalm 34:18 also says, "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." And Isaiah 61:1-3 says, "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair." God does not want to change our sorrow to joy, but to exchange our sorrow for the oil of gladness. He does not want to change our ashes, but to exchange our ashes for a crown of beauty. He does not want to change our heaviness, but to exchange our heaviness for a garment of praise. So, rather than struggling to attain, obtain what Jesus longs to give.
We comfort, the Holy Spirit is the Comforter From Every Day with Jesus, Selwyn Hughes shares, “God reminded me that above and beyond any comfort I could give was that of the Holy Spirit. His work was to bestow not human comfort but supernatural comfort. I must do my part and trust him to do His. When I realised that Another was ministering along with me to the sick, the suffering, and the bereaved, I began to relax and turn over the major part of the task to Him. All who belong to Christs’ Body are expected to minister comfort to each other, but the biggest share belongs to the Holy Spirit. We comfort; He is the comforter.”
God comforts, that we may comfort others 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." Isaiah 58:11-12 (Amp.) says, "The Lord shall guide you continually, and satisfy you in drought and in dry places, and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of (buildings that have been laid waste for) many generations; and you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in." How good is our God, Who, having restored us, uses our past experiences to comfort and encourage others, which in turn brings great satisfaction and fruitfulness in our lives. 29
Turning Conflict into Solvable Problems – Love in Action Most of us consider ourselves pretty good at problem-solving. After all, we solve dozens of them every day and, consciously or not, we use pretty much the same process.
A Problem-Solving Process Step 1 - Define the problem in terms of needs – get to really understand it. (Remember that when listening to the Care Recipient the presenting problem is not always the real problem) Step 2 - Generate possible solutions Step 3 - Evaluate and test the various solutions Step 4 - Decide on a mutually acceptable solution Step 5 - Implement the solution Step 6 – Re-evaluate the solution
Are we as good at handing conflicts as problems? Conflicts so often involve arguments and someone losing, and bad feelings then are the outcome. But do conflicts have to be solved that way? The answer is NO! You can help the Care Recipient solve problems is you keep in mind these two important characteristics of conflict: Characteristic No 1: Conflicts are simply problems attacked at least four steps too late in the problem solving process. Characteristic No 2: Because they are attacked at the wrong point, conflicts usually generate strong feelings which must be handed before trying to solve the problem. Characteristic No 1 comes into play when one person independently develops some need (Step 1), internally thinks up some alternative (Step 2), considers each (Step 3) or starts carrying it out (Step 4). This creates no problem unless another individual, also problem-solving alone, starts carrying out the solution that runs head-on into the other’s solution, resulting in conflict.
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Case Study: John has his own construction business. He is a married man with three small children. John is a musician at the church on Sunday mornings. He is committed to one night a week music practice for Sunday morning church service and is attending a life group on Tuesday nights. John’s presenting problem is that he feels overloaded with his business and church commitments. He is beginning to become resentful toward the church for the commitments that he has made. John feels that if he could cut down on his Church activities, then he would have more time with his family. After defining clearly the problem and working through steps 2-4 John decided that the best solution was to go to see his Life Group leader about cutting down on his activities. But the Life Group leader had other plans: to build a good Life Group. John was a needed part of his plan as he was his only musician. This is where the conflict comes in: two needs with previously planned solutions to a problem, meeting in the middle of the problem-solving process. Now John and his Life Group leader had the opportunity to turn a conflict into a solvable problem.
Rules for Conflict Resolutions One must be willing to stop the actual problem-solving whenever feelings arise, send ‘Imessages’ and return to Step One and define the problem, whether it be unmet needs or values collision.
This can be done in the following steps: 1. By being honest with your feelings and giving I-messages I-messages are: a. Non-blameful description of the unacceptable behaviour b. The tangible effect the behaviour has on you c. Your feelings about the behaviour, or about the tangible effect Examples: I-Message: “When you do not attend Life Group (Behaviour) I really miss you (feeling) because we need your input (tangible effect)”.
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I-Message: “I sure feel good that you came to me with this problem.” You- message: “You did the right thing in bringing this problem to me.” 2. Active listening identifies the problem feeling It is here that the Pastoral Carer has the opportunity to build a bridge of empathy into the heart of the Care Recipient, and discover what it is like to be that person. Active listening obviously requires the receiver to suppress his own feelings, thoughts, evaluation and judgements in order to attend exclusively to the message of the sender.
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Session Four - Pastoral Care – The Ministry of Reconciliation – Strongholds & Prayer We mentioned was to effectively communicate with a care Recipient: 1. You effectively communicate through correct body language. 2. You effectively communicate by being a good listener. 3. You effectively communicate by responding appropriately. 4. You can pray with effect when you identify the root cause of the problem. We also said in Session One that loving others involves reconciling people to God and others helping the Care Recipient to be restored to a condition of wholeness. We read from 2 Corinthians 5:18. It says, “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” Remember that where there is no repentance, there can be no reconciliation. Repentance signifies a humble acknowledgment of wrong-doing, a total turning away from wrong-doing, and a sincere and unreserved submission to God. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners! And purify your hearts, double minded ones!” We saw from the Bible that we have a pure heart by obeying the truth and by putting off the works of darkness and putting on the Lord Jesus Christ. In Session Two, we saw the need to forgive and deal with shame and to be continually renewed in our minds. In Session Three we saw how to deal with grief and in this session, we will discuss the need to deal with bondages and strongholds.
Dealing With Bondages or Strongholds Strongholds are anything that has a strong hold on your life. Strongholds can turn into bondages and become iniquitous. Acts 8:9 - “For some time a man named Simon had lived in the city of Samaria and had amazed the people. He practiced witchcraft and claimed to be somebody great.” Acts 8:13 - “Even Simon believed and was baptized.” Acts 8:18-21 - “Now when Simon saw that the Spirit was bestowed through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money, saying, “Give this authority to me as well, so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.” But Peter said to him, “May 33
your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have no part or portion in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity”. (Literally, ‘fetter of iniquity’)
A Dual Aspect to Sin Isaiah 53:5 says, “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities.” There is a dual aspect of sin in the Old Testament. We see in Leviticus, that two animals were brought for the sins of the people; one was sacrificed for a trespass offering and one was sent out into the wilderness as a sin offering.
Jesus was our trespass offering - He died for our acts of sin (transgressions). Romans 4:7 says, "Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”
Jesus is our sin offering - He died to deliver us from the power of sin (iniquities - which are products of the sin nature). Romans 8:3 says, “For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering”. As children of Adam, man inherits a sinful nature. This causes us to be sinners by nature, as well as by action. Jesus died not only for our sins, but to deliver us from our sin nature. So then what is the difference between transgressions and iniquities? A transgression is the violation or breaking of God law. An iniquity is an inherent weakness or attitude that brings about the violation or breaking of God’s law. The dictionary definition is “perversity or depravity”. Iniquities, according to the dictionary, are a state of being. It is our inherent weakness, caused through the breaking of God’s law. It can be passed from generation to generation in forms of physical infirmities, emotional or behavioural depravity or perversity. In Psalm 119:133, we read of King David’s desire; “Establish my footsteps in Thy word, and do not let an iniquity have dominion over me.” The checklist below is not conclusive, but designed to help you recognise iniquities. Please note: Not all strongholds are iniquitous. Whether they are iniquitous or not will be determined if there is a generational pattern or not.
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Behavioural iniquities: adultery, molestation, incest, lies, stealing, stuttering, alcoholism, perfectionism, stubbornness, unteachableness, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, eating disorders, legalism. Physical iniquities: asthma, thyroid disorders, cancer, diabetes, heart problems, eye problems, back problems, arthritis, migraine, hay fever, strokes. Emotional iniquities: fear of rejection, rejection, pride, anger, fear, control, manipulation, lust, depression, anxiety, inferiority, guilt, hostility, unforgiveness, resentment. Religious iniquities: bias toward wrong supernatural powers through generational spiritualism or occultism, religiosity through being double-minded. Sexual iniquities: bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism, promiscuity, molestation, lust, pornography. Curses of iniquities: family breakdown, continuing financial insufficiency, (especially where the income appears adequate) being accident prone, repeated miscarriages, repeated chronic sickness, mental and emotional breakdown, failure to reproduce and curses from Freemasonry. In the last session, we looked at the case study on Tom. (Review case study on page 11.) Tom struggled with pornography. As a result, he would need to be asked if he ever had a fascination for or involvement in the powers of darkness, as invariably perversity goes hand and hand with witchcraft, either in the current generation or preceding generations. Any method of seeking wrong supernatural powers is forbidden! (Such as black magic and/or New Age practices) (Deuteronomy 18:9-15)
How to Deal With Bondages 1. Acknowledge the bondage In Psalm 32:5, King David proclaimed, “I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.” 2. Accept responsibility for the stronghold or iniquity Psalm 51:1-2 - “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” Iniquity is the principle of sowing and reaping. Cause and effect! Rather than condemning our forebears, we are encouraged by the Word of God to accept responsibility for the sins that have affected us. Being honest with God is the first step to freedom and sinful habits and bondages. E.g. Kevin Rudd accepted responsibility on the Australian ‘Sorry Day’. 35
3. Renounce or put off the bondage To renounce, according to the Webster Dictionary, is “to give up as a habit, to cease to have, to cast off, and to disown.” 2 Timothy 2:19 says, “The Lord knoweth them that are his… Let everyone that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.” These inherent weaknesses are not beaten by ‘getting your act together’, as some would call it. This implies self-effort, stronger discipline or better psychology. The law of sin and death (or iniquities) cannot be overcome by will -power. A greater law overcomes it - the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus! Romans 8:2 says, “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.” Jesus made provision for that perversity, depravity, stronghold, bondage, curse or evil habit on the cross. In the same way that we accepted Jesus’ forgiveness for our sins by faith, we can accept, by faith, the deliverance from the law of sin through a greater law, the law of the Spirit of life. It is exchanging the law of sin for the law of the Spirit.
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Prayer Selection That Will Bring Effect When sharing or praying for another, in order to protect yourself, have someone else present. Depending on the presenting need, the Pastoral Carer can choose to pray several ways.
1. A prayer of petition
When praying for healing of the sick. “Father, in Jesus’ name, heal....”
When praying for the healing of wounds. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.”
When praying for the infilling of the Holy Spirit. Always conclude, after ‘putting off’ the works of darkness, with the infilling of the Holy Spirit.
2. A prayer proclaiming God’s Word
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” The declaration of God’s Word breaks within the mind a tormenting dream or picture of some past hurtful experience and replaces thoughts that help them fully obey God. For example, in praying for a rape victim, “Lord, according to your Word, I cast down that picture that she has in her mind of being raped and I bring every thought captive to obey God.”
After a person has asked for God’s forgiveness, you can pray something like this: “Thank you, Father that you have forgiven _________, for Your Word says, “If we confess our sins, you forgive us our sins.” (1 John 1:9) Proclaiming God’s Word after prayer helps assure the Care Recipient that they are forgiven.
3. A prayer of release Always remember that “the weapons of our warfare are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds”. That word ‘mighty’ literally means the power of the Holy Spirit in action - his power being released; miracle working power, the impossible being made possible.
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Luke 4:18 says in the Amplified Bible, “...release the captives... to send forth delivered those who are oppressed – who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed and broken by calamity.” This verse is talking about release from a:
Curse
Vow
Bondage – bondages can either be iniquitous; from articles, music, books or movies that have a spiritual connection; or from people, such as an unhealthy soul tie
4. A commanding prayer When casting out a spirit. For example, “In Jesus’ name, I command every afflicting spirit to leave.” Matthew 16:19 says, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” What does "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven" mean? Isaiah 22:22 says, "I will place in his shoulder the key to the house of David.” In Bible times, oriental keys were usually large and it was often a matter of convenience to carry them on the shoulder. As the possession of a key may be taken as evidence of ownership of property or of trust, the key became an emblem of wealth or authority. Eastern merchants were often seen carrying keys on their shoulders. In the text quoted from Isaiah 22, Shebna, the treasurer of Hezekiah, is warned that Eliakim shall carry `the key to the house of David' - that is he should become treasurer in Shebna's place. This is a figurative way of expressing what we said in the previous verse. Jesus is saying in Matthew 16:19, I will entrust you with the authority (rule, government) of the Kingdom of heaven. This same idea is expressed in Isaiah 9:6, where it is said of the Messiah, "the government will be on His shoulders.” So in Matthew 16:19 the word `KEYS' is used figuratively to denote authority.
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Definition of binding and loosing bind = deo (deh'o) = be in bonds, knit, tie, wind loose = (loo'o) = to loosen, break, destroy, melt, dissolve, put off One of the chief tasks of Scribes was that of applying the law. This they did by making pronouncements regarding the legality of certain actions and by issuing authoritative judgments concerning cases brought before them. The technical terms when a Rabbi issued authoritative decisions was ‘binding ‘and ‘loosing’. To ‘bind’ was to declare an action unlawful (i.e. to forbid it). To ‘loose’ was to declare an action lawful (to permit it). Thus Rabbi Jochanan could say, `Concerning gathering wood on a feast day, the school of Shammai binds (that is forbids) it - the school of Hillel looses it (that is, permits it).' When we bind, we are using the key (authority) of Christ, for us to forbid or close down. When we loose, we are using the government authority given to us from Christ to permit. Let us now look at Matthew 16:19 again and include some of our understanding. `I will give you the authority of the government of God; and whatever you forbid on earth (shut down or lock up) shall be that which has been forbidden or shut down in heaven, i.e. the government and authority of God will back our action.' (own interpretation) IT WILL TAKE PLACE AS WE DECLARE IT! Jesus pronounced judgement on principalities and powers on the cross. We in warfare, have to execute the judgement. For example, I am summoned to appear in court. The judge pronounces a sentence. At that point I have been judged - but I am not in prison. Someone else comes along, puts the hand cuffs on and leads me away to prison - he executes the judgement. We, likewise, execute God’s judgement on the powers of darkness in releasing people.
This can be applied to all of life’s situations when:
Forbidding sickness (closing it down) Permitting (releasing) finances Forbidding evil spirits to have any more authority in and over the life of that person
We must continue to bind (forbid) and loose (permit) until that which we are declaring comes about. Ephesians 6:18 says, "Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”
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Matthew 7:8 assures us that "For everyone who asks (lit. keeps on asking) receives; he who finds (literally: keeps on finding); and to him who knocks (literally: keeps on knocking), the door will be opened.�
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Topical List of Scripture References – from NKJV
Assurance “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgement, but has passed from death into life.” John 5:24 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Comfort “You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.” Psalm 71:21 “In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comfort delights me soul.” Psalm 94:19
Depression “I am poor and sorrowful; Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high. I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanks giving.” Psalm 69: 29-30 “Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; but he who trust in the Lord, mercy shall surround him” Psalm 32:10
Fear “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all umbered. Do not fear therefore; you are more value that many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
Hope “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of his countenance.” Psalm 42:5 “The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy.” Psalm 147:11
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Peace “Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15 “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Proverbs 16:7
Worry “Do not worry about your life… if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ …your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:24, 30-33 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
Course available from :
www.ydyc.org www.yourdestinyyourchoice.com www.your-destiny-your-choice.org www.yourdestinyyourchoice.info www.yourdestinyyourchoice.us
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