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Year IV - Issue I
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S m a l l S c h o o l. B i g A d v a n t a g e. B i g g e r H o l e. E D I T O R I A L
B O A R D
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Michael Lemanski Managing Editor
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Nick Medline, ‘11 Editor–In–Spirit
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COMMENT CARTOON 3
C O N T R I B U T O R S Patrick Coffey Julian Geneen Mackenzie Gilmore Kit Green Sanderson
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FROM THE EDITOR 2 MICHAEL LEMANSKI SIX-WORD STORIES
Michael Baldanza Content Editor
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ANTHONY’S ANGLES MACKENZIE GILMORE REID KERR-KELLER ANTHONY MARIANO
Reid Kerr-Keller Michael Lemanski Anthony Mariano Ben McLaughlin
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ALONE 5 BEN MCLAUGHLIN
F A C U L T Y A D V I S O R
DEATH OF INNOCENCE 6 KIT GREEN SANDERSON
Ms. J. Somerville, English Department
ARTISTIC CREDITS All photographs from the RSGC Gallery. Covers adapted by Michael Lemanski from RSGC Gallery photographs. All illustrations by Michael Lemanski.
CRITIC’S PICK JULIAN GENEEN
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NATURE’S WAY PATRICK COFFEY
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A BARMAN’S TALE REID KERR-KELLER
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WHEN WAS THAT?! 9 CROSSWORDS AND 10 SUDOKU The Official RSGC Student Publication -1-
Comment - Debate - Politics - Arts - Creative Fiction - Community - Year IV - Issue I -
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FROM THE EDITOR MICHAEL LEMANSKI
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know that you are all eager to start reading the wonderful articles contained within this issue, so I will keep this short. Over the past four months, we have all tried, in our own way, to adjust to the construction on campus. Our beloved sometimes parking lot, sometime ball hockey field was unceremoniously ripped up and replaced with a big hole. Now it is hardly noticeable. Alas, half the pit is already covered by the parking structure. Still, the big hole in the ground managed to inspire this edition’s cover and our six word story contest, which four of you were kind enough to grace with your submissions. While the stories that we did receive were notable for their wit and six-word-iness, the fact that so few were actually sent caused some members of the editorial board to lock themselves in the first-floor bathroom and weep for hours on end. Around two-hundredthirty of you owe them an apology. There is more upbeat news, though; the long-awaited tell-all article detailing the rise of Anthony’s Angels has finally surfaced. It’s an absolutely fascinating read. For those of you more interested in fiction, we have two short We’re workin’ on it! pieces we managed to coerce from writers. Xinhua, here we come! And on a more serious note, we have an opening in our editorial board for a grade nine, ten or eleven stu-
dent. I’ll admit, the job isn’t easy. Trying to persuade writers to contribute has, at times, made me feel like Ahab pursuing the elusive white whale. Nonetheless, I can’t help but feel a creeping nostalgia. While I would love to stay around for another year of grifting and chapel services, university beckons. If any of you have editing or graphic design talent, and a passion for our little student paper, then please send me an email. This is your chance to make a mark.
SIX–WORD STORIES THE EDITORIAL BOARD
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t the beginning of the year, we appealed to the student body for short, six-word composition about the construction pit. After being swamped with eleven submissions, we have picked the three best, for your enjoyment. Stay tuned for more writing challenges! FIRST PLACE Reid Kerr-Keller
“ We ran into Hades. Don’t panic. ” SECOND PLACE Reid Kerr-Keller
“ Private school replaced by salt mine. ” THIRD PLACE Max Holtzberg
“ The Pit, it’s a beautiful thing. ”
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COMMENT CARTOON
ANTHONY’S ANGELS MACKENZIE GILMORE, REID KERR-KELLER, ANTHONY MARIANO
So 1990s
So 2000s
So 2010s ?
. . . Quo Vadis ?
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lashback to October 2010: a bright young man with a vision, dreams for a future of pop music, boy bands, and stardom. Slowly but surely, using only his own mettle and pure determination, he builds a group of promising young performers to birth what may one day be known as pop music’s most electrifying act. This young man is Anthony “A-Town” Mariano. Starting as a New Kids on the Block cover band at the Halloween Contest, Anthony’s Angels have become so much more than that in just a short period of time: they placed second in the RSGC Lip Sync; put on an impromptu performance for a crowd of adoring fans at the Grade 11/12 semiformal; and put their song writing abilities to the test in British Columbia when they performed their first original song “Waiting for Your Call” for the entire Class of 2012. Looking at how quickly they have progressed, it is clear that the sky is the limit for these four budding young performers. The key to any successful music group is an understanding of what assets each member brings to the table. Brains. Brawn. Looks. Charm. All are essential qualities in a well-rounded group, and they are embodied by the radiant titans of this pioneering bunch: Patrick Coffey, known for his sleeveless shirts and intimidating yet graceful dance moves, is clearly the group’s muscle; Julian Geneen is known by his fans and peers as “the Wildcard,” a nickname he earned for his crazy stage antics and eye-catching smile; MacKenzie Gilmore was proclaimed by his
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band mates as “the Gentleman” after he was seen walking three old women across a street simultaneously; finally, the front man of the group, Anthony Mariano, is known by his band mates and adoring fans as “the Musical Genius.” Surprisingly, the group has only two members with any previous experience on stage: Anthony Mariano, who has a long history in RSGC plays, RSGC music, and is a self-taught dancer; and MacKenzie Gilmore, who at the young age of seven played an integral part in the Whitney Public School’s production of “The Yellow Submarine,” in which he had two crucial lines.
in battle in the first episode of Pokémon.” Julian, the Wildcard, was blunt. “Shane smells” comprised his thoughts on the situation, followed by several minutes of savage growling and menacing faces.
However, much like the song “Tub Thumping” by Chumbawumba, they got knocked down, but they got up again. At the RSGC Semi-Formal dance, the group pulled together at the last minute to perform unexpectedly, saving the show while the DJ began experiencing technical difficulties. But they all agreed, the show must go on. The band took to the stage and performed renditions of “I Want It That Way” and With all the success the “Livin’ on a Prayer” to the group has had so early in delight of fans. Not only did their career, it is easy to forthis performance expand get the setbacks that hit them the Angels’ fan base to a throughout this time. Origifemale audience, but it also nally a five-piece set, the serves as a perfect example group was shocked to learn of the effect the band has on of the departure of original its fans: “It was an amazing member Shane Wilder, who experience,” MacKenzie unexpectedly left after their Gilmore recalled. “We felt first performance. Despite like stars out there. There So he’s the new kid on the block. the implications this had for was screaming, tears, cheers, such a young band, leader Anthony remained confi- and I am sure I saw Mr. Lambersky and Mr. Fitzpatdent. “It’s mega lame, but with one member down, rick tearing up on the perimeter of the dance floor.” it brings us closer than ever,” Mariano states. “We Three weeks later, the boys set off to beautiful Brithonestly believe that we can move on and succeed ish Columbia, hoping that a change in scenery as a four-piece. Boyz II Men did it; the Four Tops, would bring about a step forward in their songwritBackstreet Boys, Take That, and Westlife were all ing career. It was in the Seale House of Strathcona quartets at a point in their career. That did not stop Park Lodge where Mariano began his work as a them from taking over the pop scene.” Other memsongwriter, writing “Arrival” and “Waiting For Her bers appeared less optimistic. Patrick, moved almost Call” in a few short days. He was proud of one, but to tears, wistfully spoke of what was ending. “You not satisfied with the other. Mariano explained, “It’s know, I just don’t think the group will be able to difficult to write up-tempo songs [“Arrival”]; hard to persevere through this, to lose such a close friend so get the style and melody. However, with ‘Waiting For early in our career. It’s as if Pikachu had been killed -4-
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Her Call,’ all four of us felt that we had a hit.” They performed on the last night of their trip, matching and even surpassing the energy of their now legendary semiformal performance. The concert marked the first rendition of the sweet love ballad “Waiting For Her Call,” which, when performed, created one moment of all-consuming love and happiness for students and teachers alike, bringing together an entire group, and moving writers Anthony and fellow members of the group to tears. And so, Anthony’s Angels plans on continuing their relentless push for stardom and success. The RSGC community’s spotlight is on the Angels to perform, entertain, and showcase their talent elsewhere as a representation of the RSGC community. Who knew that if you put together Brains, Brawn, Looks, and Charm you would create a quartet that makes the Beatles look like a bunch of amateurs? As a wise Scottish historian by the name of Thomas Carlyle once said, “Music is well said to be the speech of angels.”
ALONE
–Sir, is it just you today? She tapped her nails on the desk. –Pardon? –I was wondering if it’s just you checking into the g ym today? –Yes, ma’am, it’s just me, alone. With that, he took his towel and walked past the woman. Any other day, this would have been a normal trip to the gym. His wife did not go with him very often, yet the gym staff always asked if he was Strong. So strong. alone. But so much of this man’s modest life was based on his marriage. His feeling of worth, of meaning, was based entirely on the woman he went home to. Now, this man must get used to the reality that he’s not by himself just today at the gym; he’s alone everyday.
BEN MCLAUGHLIN
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he constant, shrill hum of the heart monitor pierced the air. Cold, barren hallways lined the hospital. Family, wishing they’d known her better, seen her more. Doctors, going on with their day, unmoved. The recently deceased woman lay there, completely still, dead. It was as though nothing had changed. –By yourself today, sir? The man stared at her, blank, hollow, unresponsive.
DEATH OF INNOCENCE KIT GREEN SANDERSON
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was young, and playing with my cousins whom I didn’t often see. The adults were smiling, amused by our immaturity, but soon returned to their mourning. That day was the first and last time I ever saw my father cry. It astonished me; the strongest, most knowledgeable man in the world had let
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down his guard. If my father couldn’t hold himself together, could I? My grandmother Peggy’s funeral was the first funeral I attended. I was new to the scene, and didn’t know what to expect. My father had chosen a song to be played at the ceremony. “We’ll Meet Again”, by Vera Lynn. Her smooth voice let the sentimental lyrics ring: “We’ll meet again Don’t know where Don’t know when But I know we’ll meet again
I looked up and saw one of my relatives crying. When you’re young there is nothing differentiating between relatives. They are all simply just related. This grieving mess of a woman fascinated me. It was impossible for me to understand why she was crying, but it explained the tissues. When you’re small, death doesn’t seem to mean the same thing. It becomes less about the loss you have suffered, but its effect on the people around you. I recall myself being much more depressed about the way my father reacted than the actual death itself. At the time, I scolded myself for having the wrong reaction. I wanted to be sad for the right reasons, yet I found myself at a loss.
Some sunny day” The echoing voice haunted the church as old and neglected speakers crackled to life. In black and white, I pictured men in oldfashioned army uniforms running through muddy trenches. After seeing my father cry, I felt the need to be sad as well. I didn’t know my grandmother well enough to be genuinely sad, but I felt I would be frowned upon if I Is it soundproof, though? didn’t express any grief.
CRITIC’S PICK JULIAN GENEEN
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don’t know how she does it, and, frankly, I don’t care. Sarah Jessica Parker stars in the one-millionth movie in the past decade about balancing work and family. I’ll tell you one thing I don’t know. Why is it that filmmakers continue to make these god-awful movies? If you’re wondering whether or not I’ve seen this movie, the answer is a definitive no. I wouldn’t waste my time with that junk. Here’s a spoiler: In the end she discovers family is more When I entered a church for the first time, I noticed important than work. Please avoid this movie at all costs. Your dignity will thank you. the boxes of tissues on all the pews. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why they would need these on every single row. Would one at the front desk not suffice? The purpose of these tissues soon became apparent.
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NATURE’S WAY PATRICK COFFEY
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oosh
Splash Drip Drop Paddling past peaks Waking walking when Do we go? Nasty nature nats Pinecones, needles, tweeds and things Outside, forest, trees, a beautiful thing There’s rocks, and branches, water, and leaves Color, open, no sound, peace, quiet Nature. God’s original plan Notice more clearly The wind and the rain See more vividly The sun and the rays No sun block or mosquito spray Buzz buzz In your ear Learn to live among species like these
We need the trees So few, in cities Breathe air, fresh air No pollution, no sound The animals, the bugs Interesting clouds, with interesting shapes We are not the only animal on this lake Birch, maple, reflection, no mirror Just water, the mind Let it absorb Consume, its surroundings Educate, without technology Cars or music Teachers or coaches Vocabulary… words, No terms to describe Crack, creek, snap The fire burns and crackles The coals glowing Out of words, speechless I try to describe Search, discover my thoughts Water ripples Sun rise Sunset -7-
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Determine your sleep
I lie unto the beast
No alarm or wake up call
I fear no man or wild thing
t.v.
And death by far the least
or phone
Just a book, my journal My flashlight
It is he
The sun
The relentless hunter
It sets. Purple, pink, blue, orange, yellow
This aging traveler pulls back his hood
Dark…gone…I sleep.
His ancient hands surreal I’ve heard tell of this place my whole life, he says
A BARMAN’S TALE REID KERR-KELLER
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wonderful place
Full of fear A curious face,
Why not stop and share a meal? I do not wish your company! I yell as I back away I try to close the door before him but I cannot help but hear him say,
Draws near There’s no need for such hostility I’ve seen you before The monstrosity bellows Through the wind and rain and thunder
I come not with news of pain But in need of some frivolity And some comfort from the rain
I cower inside, but try to stand And through my shaking I blunder Behold, a creature with no doubts!
Manners were made for such moments Against my better judgment -8-
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W H E N W A S T H A T ?!
I allow the entrance of my demise He stands before me in the light Bent and dark and old and wise I guide him forward To a seat at the bar I on the right, and he on my left The waiter comes to take our order Steak for me And a salad for death A talk of little consequence Trials of kings and songs of old We banter long over morality’s fence But alas death complains of the cold No long goodbyes We’ll talk again In a different forum, yet all the same And as I slowly finish dinner I promptly forget his name.
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rating 0.52)
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Puzzle 2 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)
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Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.52)
rating 0.48)
C R O S S W O R D
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A C 1.R O S S 1
take a pension 1 3 54.1The Tomato Capital 7 1 9 6 9 1 2 4 58.2Jellifying agent 5 2 9 for 5‘light’1 6 6. Arabic 59. Faucet maker 89 17 1 3 10. Permanent mark 61.4Employment 2 7 9 8 7 9 3 7 1 4 4 14. Spel. var. Layla 62. Brit. PM, jr. and sr. 6 6 63.9Soon or shortly 15.2_ _ _ _strough 2 6 1 8 27 93 5 4 7 16. _ _ _ _ Sapien 64. Dogma of faith 3 4 9 6 7 1 8 2 17.5Famous twins 8 7 1 65. Not hard at all 18. Take hold of 66. Maker of 80s iPod 2 12011 GMT. Enjoy!3 8 1 5 ky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun8Nov 27 22:23:42 Puzzle 3 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.48) Puzzle 4 (Medium, difficulty 19. Thoth’s head rating 0.52) 67. Sssssssssssssssssssss 3 1 4 3 1 4 20.74th Roman Emp. 1 3 1 22. Syn. ‘to rebel’ 7 2 6 1 8 2 9 5 7 24. Scared us in 1950s D O W N 9 7 5 2 2 9 5 1 6 25. Sirs in Shakespeare 8 7 1 26. French fem. name 2 7 9 9 Enjoy! Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun Nov 8 27 22:23:42 7 2011 GMT. 1. 4 Quebecois have one 29. Prefix for thousand 2. Shout 6 7 3 4 30.2New RSGC teacher 6 9 3. Smart Simpson 31. Deficits 7 5 1 8 3 4 9 6 4. 2 Sci. for candlenuts 37. 1920s Brit. car 5. Peregrinate 39. A lyric poem 8 2 1 3 8 1 5 6. Ferengi ruler 40. Young shoot 7. To row with 3 1 4 3 41.7Syn.1for GPs 4 8. Latin pl. egg 44.8_ _ _2 _ Bell 7 2 6 1 9 5 9. 7 Built again 45. D in CD 10. Bake egg wo. shell 1 8 7 46. In our bones 11. Large game fish credible Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on 48. Sun Obs. Nov 27for 22:23:42 2011 GMT. Enjoy! 12. Live with no tech. 52. Solomon was this 2. 3. 6 1. A city… 1rule8or law 9
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13. Are red in a poem 21. Caesar’s murder day 23. They teach at uni. 25. Lures away sailors 26. Brit. for man 27. Hit with whip 28. More univ. var. artsy 29. Bankrupt camera co. 32. To raise up 33. Play fem. roles 34. Doesn’t tell truth 35. Crazy 36. Falls in winter 38. Ones who rides 42. Places to watch mov. 43. Past part. of smite 47. Sharp 48. Black silk 49. Lat. ‘of the king’ 50. French for ‘states’ 51. Not clean 52. Var. of Pooh’s name 54. Does menial work 55. Get these on beach 56. S-shaped moulding 57. Use to catch fish 60. Yoko _ _ _
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