FELIX
2
A L L NIGHT CUBANTICS W A V E S
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"Theta", which got loose on Morphy Day, i s once again i n the hands of i t s keepers, R.C.S. were informed that i t was to be used by Guilds f o r experimental work connected with the Round Pond i n Kensington Gardens.
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The Carnival year began last Friday with R.C.S. setting the pace with their "Cubantics". Those of us who went with a pertain amount of trepidation, with l a s t year's dismal effort s t i l l i n mind, were pleasantly surprised. Here was one of the better carnivals of reoent years.
'R.C.S.
A l l revellers' hands were given a carnival stamp on the production of a ticket - unfortunately the tickets were not collected, and a few 'crashers', obtaining a ticket from a genuine aolder, managed to get stamped. However, I the main body who t r i e d to enter by brute force were successfully repelled j by a collection of the best R.C.S. brawn | and two huge uniformed "Chuckers-out" The subdued group of would-be 'crashers' remained for some time hes] i t a n t l y eyeing the opposition. At square meal time they were politely asked to leave and/or forcibly ejected. Then started a remarkable seiies j of attacks and counter-attacks whioh continued u n t i l cabaret time at 1 a.m. A besotted form of strategy was employed by the determined Chemicals, who kept the stalwart doormen occupied while an inside accomplice was letting otherd in through the Refectory windows. This continued ad infinitum with a steady flow of the same people being ejected through the door. (I saw one thrown out f i v e times!) ! ( > j
By this time i t had become a point of honour f a r them to 'crash' into the Carnival - and by cabaret time they were j as determined as ever, bruised and considerably more sober I trust that j they enjoyed the cabaret ! A l o t of hard work had obviously gone into the cabaret; they were indeed fortunate i n having such a l i v e l y compere as Malcolm Green. That i t was wri t t e n by Mr Leston was only too obvious - i t was a pity that much of the humour was so coarse, and i n some casern blatant l y 30. Admittedly this i s the easy way to get laugh3, but surely i t i s not necessary to stoop that low to humour supposedly educated people? The ' f l a t s ' were designed by Bruce Cozens on the abstract theme - i t i s indeed good to see a higher standard of f l a t design evolving. Some of the best of reoent years were those of Vere Atkinson. Two photographs of his iesign for "Night-time with Neptune' -1956. appear In the present issue.
On a r r i v a l , they saw i t s top protruding above the surface, periscope wise, i n the middle. A gallant P.G., braving the Artie waters, waded, chest deep and released Theta from i t s i c y seclusion. The previous night, three furtive Guildsmen had crept to the pond with their booty, when they were challenged by a police dog and handler. The other unfortunate was unluckier - being chased up a tree by a ferooious Boxer. Next morning the three nootabmulists returned to complete "Operation Theta".
Its advent was viewed with some concern by the organisers, as i t coincided with the Annual Dinnei of the Chemical Engineering Society - a body some-what notorious for their boisterous post-bar behaviour. Accordingly, f a i r ly elaborate precautions were taken to prevent them, and other gate-crashers from entering.
Then trouble came from a different quarter - about ten couples arrived from outside with the same intention, but were quickly escorted off the premises. Back on the home front the marauders had switched to another entry point, by procuring ladders and entering through the gymnasium - and the steady flow of ejected Quildsmen continued.....
PERISCOPE
CUBANTICS'
These words,of sombre colour, I descried Writ on the l i n t e l of a gateway; "Sir, This sentence i s right hard f o r mej I cried. N I N T H
B I R T H D A Y
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FELIX celebrated hi3 Ninth Birthday by holding his annual Dance on November 22nd. He installed this year a night-club upstairs which was defi n i t e l y the greatest success of the evening - the smoke, the f l i c x e r i n g candles and the exquisite mood nmsio merging into an intimate presence.
In a neighbouring alcove, couples swayed gently to the music, disengaging only when cur candid photographer appeared. Even the advent of our Sport's Editor, riding a bicycle in tropical kit, f a i l 3 d t c nter-st tha snoochlni; masses. In true 'dive' style, the lights were flashed on to terminate the evenings o f f i c i a l entertainment, prcvo!cing a protesting ohorus of startled noises from embarra'sed parties, although some of them didn't even notice 4
Downstairs, under the benevolent guidance of Charlie Parley, the orthuiox dance proceeded. A l i t t l e light r e l i e f was provided i n the second half by the Editor, who demonstrated his ' s k i l l ' with the Hulahoop to an enthralled (!) audience before i s i t i n g a young lady t c follow his ex The other victims of a spot-da ..ere required to eat banana i n the frenoh style, which they did willingl y - although making raad-passionate love with a mouthful of banana would not appeal to everyone!
And l i k e a man of quick discernment: Here lay down a l l thy distrust Lay down a l l thy distrust," said he, "reject Dead from within thee every ooward fear; We've reached the place I t o l d thee to expect, Where thou shouldst see .the Where thou shouldst see the miserable race, Those who have lost the good, of intellect." He l a i d nis hand on mine, and with a face So joyous that i t comforted my quailingj Into the hidden things he led my ways, ways Here sighing, and here crying, and loud r a i l i n g Smote on the starless air, with lamentation, So that at f i r s t T wept to hear such wailing. Tongues mixed and mingled, horrible execration, S h r i l l shrieks, hoarse groans, fierce y e l l 3 and hideous blether And clapping of hands thereto, without cessation Mads tumult through the timeless night, that hither And thither drives i n dizzying c i r c l e s sped, As whirlwind whips the spinning sands together. Wherat, with horror flapping round my head: "Master, >hai's this I hear? Who can they be, These people so distraught with grief?" I said. And he replied:"The dismal company of wretched s p i r i t s ire watching the R.C.S. Carnival Cabaret.*
(With apologies to Dante and DÂť L,Sayers)
FELIX GENERAL
3
STUDIES L I B E R A L
PHOTOS "That i s the use of a hook without pictures?" thought Alice, as she sat on the bank i d l y turning over the pages.
Amongst industrial firms, piotures have now become a very powerful weapon both for advertising and educational purposes, as Mr. CD. Knight pointed out in his lecture on "Photography and Public Relations". Photos are the cheapest form of visual media, and as "stoppers" (pictures whioh make one stop and look more carefully when f l i c k ing through a book) they can be used for many years i n magazines, adverts and window displays.
When photographs are used for d i s tribution to the public, i t i s of the greatest importance that the photographer, who i s essentially a creative man, works i n close oo—operation with the Public Relations Officer i n the production of pamphlets: i n fact, so great has been the change since the war that industrial organisations now run their own photographic departments, and a good professional photographer can easily earn £50 i n a day. This i s a far cry from the half-crown paid for photos for house magazines before the war.
ETC. motion studies to increase the e f f i c iency of their staff and methods.
The Speaker then gave a b r i e f outline of the advances i n the use of photography i n Shell: their unit was formed i n 1946 to help i n the standardisation of ideas and methods throughout the world-wide subsidiaries of the Company, and to build up the morale of their workers by showing them how o i l i s produced, and how i t i s used by many diverse industries. The next step was the introduction of pictures into Company Reports to enable shareholders to keep abreast of new ideas and advances.
Apart from such literature produced for individual consumption, exhibitions were prepared and shown i n many parts of the world to groups i n l i b r a r i e s , departmental stores, and so on: these pictures were not used for advertising in any way, but were made to demonstrate the perfume industry i n France, the watch industry i n Switzerland, and others dependant on o i l , with only a passing reference to o i l i t s e l f .
Finally, as an example of the present trend, Bowaters (the paper firm) has shown a film recently to shareholders at the Festival H a l l on the Firms' developments during the previous year.
Nowadays many firms photograph every component of machines they manufacture, and a l l the negatives are f i l e d : as example, Mr. Knight quoted the Ford Motor Company i n Detroit, whioh has a f i l e of 3 j million negatives, and his own company, Shell, which has a f i l e of 65,000 negatives and an increase of 7000 per annum. The Hoover Company even u«.e film for time and
Mr. Knight ended his talk with some slides taken i n Africa, and used by Shell for publicity.
D R A M A T I C
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THE The I.C. entry for this year's TJ.L. One-Act Play competition was an adaptation of Chekov's "The 3 e t " .
Also i n the cast i s a Doctor, a very old friend of the Banker, and a Novelist who acts as narrator for this adaptation. Every 30 often the three me jt to -discuss how the Lawyer i s faring i n t h i shed at the bottom of the garden, and as time goes on, the Banker becomes morS lenient in his conditions: the Lawyer receives as many books . .'tfid any amount of food he emaiids, as well as a servant to tidy his room. :|
The play ends as expected, for, ^ as the lawyer explains when his t e n ^ years are almost completed he has been able to l i v e the events he wished from books,with a l l the characters and places a
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The second Mock Parliment of the Session met on Thursday last with a Liberal government"and Labour opposition.
After a policy statement the d i s cussion centred on capitalism. The government claimed that competitive capitalism meant efficiency and low prices. They thought ownership should be spread over the employees by coownership schemes. The socialists d i s puted the efficiency of competition saying that much organisation was duplicated and that competition i t s e l f was often eliminated by the formation of monopolies. They thought that the number of shares that could be d i s t r i b uted among the workers would be too small to give them appreciable power. The absence of Conservative opinion wa3 f e l t when the House found i t s e l f to be i n agreement on colonial and foreign affairs.
A b i l l to replace the House of Lords by elected group representatives was defeated. An opposition ammendment to abolish the Lords was narrowly rejected. The opposition also suggested that the Advisory Council to the Peoples Representative Assembly should publish a quarterly report i n the form of a red paper.
The electoral- reform b i l l introduced the single transferable note and some seats allotted by proportional representation. This i s not o f f i c i a l Liberal policy and the government was embarrassed by a speach from the floor supporting the party l i n e . The opposition accussed the Liberals of s e l f interest pointing out that the system favoured the centre party. However, the government said the b i l l was a simple way to r e c t i f y present injustice. A proposal to have some non-constituency M.P.s solely concerned with national a f f a i r s was also c r i t i c i sed. The b i l l was defeated.
BET moulded according to his fancy, and therefore more perfect than the ret.1 t-ing. What use had he for a million:
Set i n a Banker's house on the outskirts of Moscow i n the year 1890, i t t e l l s of a bet made between the Banker And an apparently eccentric Lawyer that the l a t t e r cannot stay i n solitary confinement for a period of ten years: the sum involved i s a million pounds, while the Lawyer stands to f o r f e i t the house he has just bought - a house to which the Banker has taken a fancy.
P O L I C Y
Peter Bowden, as the Banker, was extremely convincing, except for one weak scene when the bet i t s e l f was being made, and he was consciously acting the whole time: Desmond Turner (the Lawyer) was also weak i n the f i r s t scene, spending too much time with his back to the audience, and teiiding to lose the ends of many of his words. He improved during his monologue i n the scene, but here again there was insufficient variety of action.
At question time the Trade Unions were discussed. The government thought that members should have to contract in and not just be able to contract out of the p o l i t i c a l levy. The opposition said that the Trade Unions should only be reformed from within and that this proposal would loose the Labour Party money, whereupon the Liberals returned the charge of s e l f interest.
The House adjourned at 10 o'clock mainly to the bar. A.D.
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The Novelist was an unfortunate ;art due to the braking effect i t had on the continuity, but even so Ross 3utler v:a3 not forceful enough ±n the part, and he was made up to be too young. The small part of the Doctor was well portrayed by Terry Wright.
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Lighting and scenery were simple and effective, but why was a stray green light focussed on the Lawyer's books i n the last scene? Such effects, to be successful, must be unobtrusive. But, f o r a d i f f i c u l t production, more credit i s due to the producer, Peter Morgan, than the review i n Sennet would suggest.
PAST R.C.S. CARNIVAL FLATS EBSIGN5D BS VEKE ATKINSON
FELIX •HE
HOSTEL
CONTROVERSY CONCERT
The Editor- FFTXKOh DearASiir,, The protagonists of Constituent College Itostel3 have taken for granted t*c things - (a) that non-segregated hostels w i l l mean the end of Guilds, Hinu? md R.C.S., and (b) that this »OIA1/J be a bad thing f o r the Imperial College.
Let's face i t - the constituent unions are nothing more than faculty societies and as such they should be concerned with working conditions, staff student relationships ( the relevent committee i n R.G.S. died of neglect a few years ago) and other matters pecu l i a r to their faculty. Instead they serve as excuses for childish and irresponsible behaviour. By a l l means nave rivalry, but the importance of the unions has thereby been so exaggerated that now we have executive members of these mere faculty societies ( a l l the segregationists are or have been such) actually complaining that they weren't consulted about, who should l i v e i n the new hostels. How big-headed can one get?
Messrs. Warwicker, King etc, want the unions to 'command greater loyalty! I'm afraid they visualise themselves sailin g forth at the head (or i n the van) of screaming hordes to tether a nanny-goat on the roof of Guilds. The unions deserve no loyalty whatsoever (other than support for sporting fixtures) unless they benefit the individual members and as f a r as individuals are concerned, segregation would certainly not "be a good thing. Not only would a hostel-dwelling scientist not meet students of art, languages, law, medicine and music; he would meet even fewer engineers and miners than at present. For sheer narrowness of mind, segregation and i t s products w i l l be hard to heat.
I don't think that non-segregated hostels w i l l mean the end of the constituent college unions - faculties w i l l last f o r ever - but I hope that they w i l l help to cut these unions down to size, because i n their present state the l a t t e r are a very bad thing for I.C. The sooner we have some faculty societies working i n the interests of students and the sooner we throw out the budding empire builders who are sapping the strength of the I.C. Union, the better. Given strong" leadership and support from the faculties i t would be a very fine Onion, although having fewer meetings than ever before isn't going to help matters. Compliments of the season, P. H. Levin
ear
Sir,
I must disagree with the views expressed by some of the elder statesmen of the College in a l e t t e r to the last edition of "Felix" on the subject of College loyalties and the new halls of residence. If, as they infer, these loyalties are dying, I would suggest that they should be allowed to die and not be a r t i f i c i a l l y fostered by grouping R.C.S. an exclusively or Guildsraen exclusively in one iiostex.
Although concerts are far from be being the ideal places for the performanoesof good jazz - they s t i f l e audience encouragement of the players and the kick that comes from a crowded throng of dancers - some excellent jazz music was presented by the Imperial College Jazz Club during the lunch break of November 20th.
FOR CONNECTION WITH MOUNTAINEERING SEE NELSON
MOUNTAINEERING
CLUB
At the beginning of the year, owing mainly to disagreements with various examiners,the Club lost many of i t s leading climbers. However, with the remaining members, plus some very promising freshers, the standard of rock climbing i s gradually r i s i n g again towards last years very exceptional level. Following on the Alpine Meet described during an earlier issue, the f i r s t meet of term vras the freshers meet i n N. Wales i n the Ogwen Valley. The climbing offered here has long been recognised a£ ideal for beginners, the -val: C .ces b-iing neither too steep nor too e . <sed. A l l freshers climbed, some H;-vlr.j ^ar.ts of leading, and the further blessed by f a i r weather, w_;i very successful. This 7/elsh weekend caa followed up during mid term b;- a Sunday Meet at Harrirons rocl-.s a-'ar C^roombridge i n rent, these comprising of lev sandstone c l i f f s , generally less thou 50 .'e t : , ..eight. They of lint' n aeroua short cJ.ijbs, those in general being d i f f i c u l t a id very strenous, tind i r e v i l i n g luuoh entertainment aoped-liy for o n l o c r - s . The final - f i s . .1 .aeet this term was held in t..e Li?.;-herds Pass, UST North of Snowdcn. The rocVs here are far steeper and more ijc.-coed than at Ogwen, requiring a mors ste V nerve, Xtrinr" and better climbing tecimi aie. the oourse of the weekend, again blessed by reasonable v/eathe. , numerous gooc olimbs were undertaken, "hile several parties also traversed the Snowdcn Horseshoe, including one unsuccessful attempt by night. In conclusion, the Club hopes to hold . Chvistma:. Meet i n the Scottish Highlands with the idea of attempting some snow and ice climbing, this providing a pleasant variation en the normal B r i t i s h rock climbing.
The principal shortcoming of this proposal would seem to me to be the i n creased risk of insularity and reoccupation with studies amor.gsu the residents which would result i f they •?ere a l l drawn from the same faculty of the College. ;
I would suggest that the contrary proposal,that the new hostels should be made open to student of the University as a whole^is more valuables Yours f a i t h f u l l y , Martin Barnes.
The poor start by the I.C. Jazz Band was due to the presence of a new and unrehearsed olarinettist and also to nerves: those who have heard this band, under i t s leader John Gowland, at dances know that i t i s capable of much better playing. The outstanding musician i n this group at the concert was the greatly improved pianist Chandu Kapur. Then oame Richard Rushton, a bop pianist with an original style and great technical a b i l i t y . -
A guitar solo by Adrian Abbot was marred by amplifier trouble, but i n any case i t was a novelty piece rather than jazz, Stan Salmons, a fresher i n Chemi s t r y , then introduced a quartet with himself on piano. He i s an excellent Brubeck-fashion pianist with impeccable rhythm and he was well served by Gordon Pritchard on Drums and John Farnsworth on Bass - the last named, i n the opinion of many, the most improved jazz musician in I.C. Anne P h i l l i p s sang one number with the quartet; she sang well but was inadequately amplified.
Finally, Denis Leston (piano) i n t roduced a mixed group i n a jam session: this included a remarkable trumpeter i n Tony Newstead. Newstead, one-time president of the Melbourne University .Rhythm Olub and now a P.G. i n 0 £ G, exemplified a l l that i s best i n jazz - excitement, originality, technical competence of the virtuoso grade, a strong lea' * to other j'rout-line instrumentalists; these ann more were to be found i n his playing. Amongst the musicians playing alongside Newstead, Mike Newson stood out on clarinet: he plays loud and clear and i s quick to seize on a r i f f or phrase worth developing - when he gets r i d of the tearaway elements of the screaming early c l a r i n e t t i s t s he should be a fine jazz artist. 1
LUCY
KASSLER
There were some more newcomers to debating last Tuesday when the house decided to prefer a Saucy Sue to a Lovely Lucy by about 250 votes to 10. Part of this landslide victory for the Saucy Sue's was doubtless due to the charming presence of Miss Pamela Gwytiier from Bedford College. Lovely Lucy K ssler entertainingly avoided talking on the motion. He l e f t i t , he said, t_- his seconder, John Nation, to pull his case do-.ui. Les Allen, a last minute substitute for the sex-appeal of a mission Bedford speaker, having carefully ascertained the relative strengt .3 of Guilds and R.C.S. in the house, called for a vote against Kassler and Nation, "tho-.e crumbling p i l l a r s of R.C.S."
5
FELIX THOUGHTS OF AN
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FRED
WHEELER U
I have just been on a conducted crawl through the air-tunnels under E.C.S. The idea was that they should be written about, and i t i s well known i n certain c i r c l e s that I am l i t e r a t e . (I imagine people pointing me out t o visitors from Cambridge who have noticed me already: 'You see that Hoffnung creation over there - that's one of our l i t erate undergraduates! 'You mean - i n a science oollege?)
And yet, I have nothing positive to say. Even before I went down into the tunnels I mean - an acquaintance said he knew exactly how I was going tc do i t . Only he never t o l d me and, l i k e I say, I don't know. I only know that there are two sorts of tunnel: Hot and Cold. A l l else i s - no, not mystery. A mystery can be stated. How did the corpse get under the Main Physics Lecture Theatre? Whose are the echoing footsteps? "What happened to the fourth member of our gallant party? I t i s questions like these that make writers like me scribble like mad. But there i s not even a mystery. Why isn't there? I mean, dammit.
Why should there be? There we have our mystery. We know why physici s t s have dragged themselves through f i l t h y holes about f i f t e e n inches by two feet. Because they, l i k e the Himalayas, are there. The ffirar^ayas, however, not only had Hillary climbing up them to get them int"> the news, they had the Abominable Snowman climbing down. Of the two, the l a t t e r was more popular, purely because i t was mysterious, alien, while H i l l a r y was a model of respectability, or none of the advertisers would have mentioned him. The advertisers knew that our l i v e s , and hence our spending, are ruled by good sense, and the men of Fleet St-eet knew that our minds are ruled by the opposite. Between them they gave us a r t i c l e s called The Y e t i - Is i t Human? surrounded by points of information like 'The Everest Expedition Chose .... Spark Plugs'.
I said I'd think of something. What about a coffee bar. Not another? Yes, just one. Probably patrons would pay as much as one-andsix a cup i f they l i t e r a l l y had t o grovel i n the d i r t for i t . Those who like character with t h e i r coffee and when c i v i l i s a t i o n i s a l l around, character i s simply unpleasantness - are frustrated even by that famous place where the light shines from the eyesockets of skulls, the tables are tiny coffins and the murals depict skeletons embracing naked g i r l s and vice versa: for me, the only r e a l l y macabre thing here i s the apparent waiter ( l i v i n g , and clothed like a coffee-bar waiter) whose chief function i s to follow new arrivals and t e l l them i t i s self-service.
The fact i s that the slightest actual inconvenience i s more disturbing than the most perverted decorations, Our although few of us realise t h i s . archetype i s Albert i n his Memorial, surrounded by a mass of r i c h decoration that f a i l s to keep the pigeons o f f : the living, defacing pigeons .
I'm off again. Off the subject as well. What t o do with the a i r Something must be done with ducts. them, obviously, because the college is crowded and they are empty.
It has been suggested that the walls should be decorated - decoration again - i n the palaeolithic style, and signposted. I find this idea vaguely frightening. After wall-paintings, notices and mildly curious v i s i t o r s , what? Perhaps I fear the notices most - the l e t t e r k U l e t h . (Hence the Editor's name. ) At f i r s t vs s h a l l be offered polite advice l i k e Mind Your Head, LEFT Shoulder Forward, Crawl For Six Feet, and so on. An then, i n s i d i ously, a new generation of notices w i l l appear, notioes without respect. No Smoking, they w i l l probably t e l l us, or, To L i t t e r The Tunnels Is An Offence. With growing insubordination they w i l l begin to utter threatening wards l i k e Private, No Entry and f i n a l l y Silence! And c i v i l i s a t i o n w i l l be upon us.
C i v i l i s a t i o n i s to be avoided at a l l costs. You 3tart by saying that you l i k e your comfort, and you wind up, l i k e poor Lady Docker, complaining that you simply cannot l i v e without the Riviera. Remember, comforts and restrictions are inseparable: the tramp and the true ararchist are one, having rejected both. Nothing abominable lurks beneath R.C.S. That i s what moved the tunnell e r s to invite me down there. You may laugh. These adventurers had explored the lower regions with great care and found nothing even 3lightly enigAs you see, they were reduced matic. to taking with then bottles of Fremlin's Brown - actually importing mystery - and photographing themselves drinking i t . S t i l l there was no savour, no romance. Beer had f a i l e d . Next, i n ascending order of subtlety, came women, song and culture. The f i r s t , I gathered, was impracticable, the second wa~ jporadioa l l y attempted, and the l a s t was me. My guides indicated the points of interest: writings l e f t by a pioneer roup i n '46, primitive drawings of bison, the pipe that Haggis raised a lump i n by banging his nut on i t .
So l e t us leave the tunnels to the anarchists. They w i l l not blow us up. Why should they? A l l they want i s freedom from our company, our noise, our conventions and our respectability.., Anarchists are reduced to nihilism - blowing everything up, that i s - only when there i s no other escape. I f we restrain ourselves from cleaning, painting and mapping, the d i r t and darkness w i l l defend the anarchists from the intrusions of t h e i r over-friendly enemies, and they w i l l be able t o advert i s e t h e i r retreat openly. A l l the anti-social characters who don't join clubs w i l l no longer wander about i n t h e i r spare time looking lost, untidy ....continued i n next column
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Oft when I rest from a l l the t o i l s Required to prove that water b o i l s , I s i t and muse and wonder why We ever use dx/dy. With Infinitesimal Calculus, Incomprehensible i s this stuff, We play around with C*3 of G, And volumes, too, so eSX can see That Maths to us i s no delight We Engineers, whose minds are right. The C i v i l s , i n their concrete, see Curves and Conies, (not for me): Whilst for Mechanicals pure and simple, The details of a turbine's dimple. Electricals on the other hand Think of an exponential band. Aeros i n their flighty moods Teach logic to the lesser broods. The Chemicals -jnoving things by bucket, Show us a l l that they can rough i t . John K. Taylor.
.....continued from previous column and frustrated. They w i l l disappear into the ground, as they have so often wished to; I trust there w i l l be no spurious organisation c a l l i n g i t s e l f the Anarchist Club.
FELIX
FE] LIX
IT'S
WHEW i t i s necessary t o subt i t l e a f i l m , a great d e a l of the poignancy and drama of the o r i g i a l i s l o s t , and i t adds g r e a t l y t o the c r e d i t of some C o n t i n e n t a l f i l m s that they s t i l l have a wide appeal i n t h i s country. One such i s "WILD STRAWBERRIES" from Sweden, winner of the B e r l i n F i l m F e s t i v a l t h i s year.
CIRCULATION ISOO
EDI TOP
R.FKERROD
ASST EDITOR
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W O R T H
M. R.HONER
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O F F !
We are happy to announce that we are able to s e l l this special 12-page Christmas issue for FOURFENCE only. It was our intention to raise the price to sixpence, to cover the increased printing costs, but having made a slight p r o f i t over the past term, we are able to "plough back the profits into the business" and give YOU the benefit.
The f i l m shows one day i n the l i f e o f an aged p r o f e s s o r : on the surface he i s at peace w i t h the world, but i n a s e r i e s of dreams d u r i n g a journey t o r e c e i v e an Honorary degree he sees 'his successes and f a i l u r e s , the e c s t a c i e s of h i s youth and the ingrown g u i l t and r e g r e t of l a t e r y e a r s " l a i d bare, j u s t i n time t o make peace w i t h himself. D i r e c t i o n i s by Ingraar Bergman, and i t may be seen at the Academy Cinema i n Oxford S t r e e t . On c i r c u i t i n the n o r t h and east areas t h i s week i s "CAT ON A HOT TIN feO(J?7", s t a r r i n g E l i z a b e t h T a y l o r , B u r l Ives ( a superb performance) and P a u l Newman. An adaptation from Tennessee W i l l i a m ' s play, t h i s t e l l s
FELIX BOARD AUTUMN 1958
LIMERICK COMPETITION Sport's Editor.
..Keith Ludlam.
Features Editor
Peter Crabtree.
Production Manager
Tony Ewart.
Sales Manager
Mike Jones.
Photographic Editor
Paul Porgess.
Secretary
Judy Wright.
Business Manager
Peter Levin.
We thank our t y p i s t s : Sheila, L i z and Carol for their perseverance, and their toleration of the production staff. We are indebted to ECCLE and for t h e i r excellent artistry
That "Clever young student from Bow" promoted considerable activity among our limerick writers. As expected the unprintable section attracted the greatest attention, and i t must be added that, i n general, the entries were of a surpr i s i n g l y high l i t e r a r y standard. By far the best came from J.R. Loome ( O i l Tech.), who demonstrated the effectiveness of applied hydraulics. Due to the excellence of his limerick* we have decided to double his prize so he now wins TWO ripe bananas. We would ask him to collect them as soon as possible, or else they w i l l be shot.
K N O W I N G
o f B i g Daddy's cancer, and the e f f e c t i t has or the d i v e r s e c h a r a c t e r s o f h i s family. •THE GRASS IS GREENER", a comedy, opened a t the S t . M a r t i n ' s l a s t Tuesday: t h i s s t a r s C e l i a Johnson, .loan Greenwood and Hugh W i l l i a m s .
And yesterday, a t the R o y a l Court, Sloane Square, the winner of the Observer p l a y c o m p e t i t i o n e n t i t l e d "MOON ON A RAINBOW SHAWL"; i t deals w i t h l i f e i n the West I n d i e s , and the cast i n c l u d e s Earle Hyman and V i n e t t e C a r r o l l . This play has a l r e a d y had a s u c c e s s f u l provi n c i a l tour.
Looking forward t o next term, the f i r s t performance of "MADAME BUTTERFLY" ( P u c c i n i ) t h i s season w i l l be produced at Covent Garden on 13 January 1959-
S e v e r a l recent stage successes have been f i l m e d , ana w i l l be on c i r c u i t i n the next few mo..ths • these i n c l u d e "THE RELUCTANT XBBTANTO", "33PARATE TABLES", and a reraaie of "TIE THIRTY NINE STEPS". There are a number of Record Clubs i n t h i s country, v a r y m g i n t h e i r c o n d i t i o n s of membersjiip: amongst these i s the CLaSSICS CLUB, w i t h headquarters at Records 55 Great Western Road, W.9. -.vailable range from symphonic works, through Opera t o Chamber music, w i t h a choice from t e n each month, p r i c e s b e i n g between 15/6d. ar.d 25/-: a number of w e l l known conductors and orchestras have been commissioned f o r these r e c o r d i n g s .
The advantages of t h i s Club are that ther e i s no admission or membership f e e , and there i s no compulsion t o buy every month.
MAC
I would also like to thank a l l of the other people who have written for, sold, or helped to produce FELIX during the past term.
The printable section was less popular and obviously no-one had really t r i e d over-hard. There was a _ l i t t l e originality i n some of tne entries, but A the majority were of l i t t l e merit. few of the better ones appear below:P.M.
Watkiss.. had morals exceedingly low, He picked up a tart, In Hyde Park, for a lark, And the rest of the story you know.
B L U E B I R D
Telegram sent on F r i d a y , 14th. November, 1958, t o DONALD CAMBELL, C o n i s t o n , on the o c c a s i o n of h i s succf u l attempt on the water 3peed record* Hearty c o r i g r a t u l a t i o n s from I m p e r i a l College. Linstead, Rector. Prom Mr. Donald Campbell C.B.E.
Fred Peacock.. explaining his fine healthy glow, Said'I feel much brighter, My inside i s whiter With two doses a day of 0M0.' .V. . .\ PSfF... N
Dear Dr. L i n s t e a d , Thank you v e r y much f o r your k i n d telegram which was v e r y n.uch a p p r e c i a t e d by a l l o f us a t Coniston . Everybody connected w i t h B l u e b i r d i s v e r y m i n d f u l of the support t h a t has been extended t o the p r o j e c t by I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e . T h i s support has c o n t r i b u t e d i n g r e a t measure t o B l u e b i r d a success. 1
W i t h every good w i s h , Yours s i n c e r e l y , Donald Campbell.
t r i e d to f l y to the moon on a hoe, But a technical blunder Spli t our hero asunder, Now he can't even reach bottom 'doh'.
J.R. Loome ... learnt his syllabus a l l at one go, But when asked to repeat This incredible feat, He burst into tears and cried "No." C o p i e s w i l l be sent i n plain s.a.t. on request. (Student under 16 and members of I.C.W.A. excluded.)
LIKELY STORIES N c
4 by Scraper
There once was an engineering cat called Antonio de Luxe. His father •oanufactured mousetraps, as had his father before him. so he obviously was destined for the Empirical College. Here he graduated and began writing a thesis with particular reference to nousetraps. As a result of his researches he patented a trap which caught more mice not only more quickly but also i n less time than any other. This trap was naturally a great success, but sales shortly began to f a l l off owing to the catastrophis decrease i n the mioe population, l.'ore mice were urgently needed and i t was to this problem that young Antonio presently devoted himself. "Now" he reasoned, "no more mice are to be found on the face of the Earth. Therefore,"he concluded"triumphantly " i t w i l l be necessary to d r i l l for them." So Antonio consulted the Geology Department and on their advice sought out the l i k l i e s t location. Then he set up his gear and commenced operations. He was just getting down to 13,000 f t . , when suddenly there shot up into the a a i r a vast gusher of ferocious supermice, each one armed with a hacksaw and carrying a pair of wire cutters. Quick as a flash Antonio leapt into his spaceship and hurtled off to Kars to start a new division of I.C.I.
FELIX F A R E W E L L
LETTERS I.C.
INDECISION
Dear S i r , Does an attitude of indecision prevail-at I.C,? Is i t considered reasonable that people may commit themselves to any particular College acti v i t y and then reserve the right to withdraw at a moments notice? Judging from recent Mountaineering Club and Y.H.A. Meets, and by glancing down, for example, the Athletics team l i s t s , the answer would seem to be yes! It must be pointed out to these somewhat thoughtless people that such last minute indecisions not only cause club organisers endless trouble, but also show a complete lack of respons i b i l i t y on the offenders part.
T O
D R E G S
Hardbitten readers of this journal wij.1 remember Hubert Edwin Smith, a browhbagger who reformed late i n his College career and was eventually "profiled" i n F e l i x No, 98 This Christmas sees the departure from our midst of Hubert's elder brother B.T.L. Smith - "Dregs" as he i s known to us all.
"Dregs" came to I.C. last year rather late i n l i f e (but very young i n s p i r i t ) to do research i n a specialised branch of biophysical metallurgy i n which he i s reputed to be a World Authority. This particular topic i s the study of the influence of skin thickness and load distribution factor on metal fatigue i n the hobnails of the boots worn by lame centi edes. "Dregs" i s reluctant to say whether the reason for his departure i s the completion of the research or a cessation of his A i r Ministry grant. Whatever the reason, he w i l l leave a large gap i n our society. r
Yours f a i t h f u l l y , W.A.T. White (Y.H.A.) P. Smith (M.C.) D.A. Faulkner (Soccer)K.W. Ludlam (A.C.) A. Ewart (M.C.) M.R. Honer (W.H.S.
CARDSHARPERS
Dear S i r , The Upper Lounge i n the Union Building-has been commandeered by a small group of cardsharpers who unfortunately find i t necessary to accompany this amusement by high s p i r i t s and very loud voioes. I f the lounge was intended for such purposes I apologise to these gentlemen. I f not, i s there any constitutional means by whioh reasonable quietness could be enforced, as such prattle must drive many people from this very comfortable room! Yours
There are those endearing "Dregs" mannerisms which have made their* mark on certain sections of the Union: a modest and unassuming manner, unimpeachable g e n t i l i t y towards ladies, and a down-to-earth manner of speech. pDregs" has never been known to c a l l a spade a "spade"). These, combined with a Mr. Punch - l i k e p r o f i l e and vnique physique made him a certain choice for President of R.C.S. had he been able to stay with us longer.
A tribute such as this must not f a i l to make reference to the supreme a b i l i t y of B.T.L. Smith as a musician of the highest rank. He has his favourite trumpet which i s seldom i d l e - to the great entertainment of those who would wish to be thought of as his â&#x20AC;˘friends. Mr. Editor of F e l i x must be wondering how he w i l l be able t o f i l l his columns after Christmas.
J. Latham. Students
NELSON'S
COLUMN
To b e g i n on a s e r i o u s n o t e , Nelson, on b e h a l f o f a l l our r e a d e r s , extends h i s b e s t wishes f o r a speedy r e c o v e r y t o P e t e r Parsons ( Z o o l o g y 3} I.C. i s n o t the same withou t " S l a s h e r " .
C a r n i v a l time i s here a g a i n and as u s u a l , I.C. have r i s e n t o t h e o c c a s i o n and the female p o p u l a t i o n has c o r r e s p o n d i n g l y i n c r e a s e d s e v e r a l hundred p e r cent i n f a c t there appears t o be more women than men i n r e s i d e n o e :
Post-Carnival couples, naturallv a l i t t l e below par, emerging from the hostel oh that-morning-after-the-night before, were somewhat perturbed t o see a horse prancing around the quad. However, oloser inspection and the appearance of a bottle of brown ale from i t s stomach, revealed that i t was human after a l l . Beneath t h i s equine guise were two offshoots of the Mountaineering Club: Dick Wright (bearded front legs) and Pete Smith (bearded back legs) As they cantered precariously up the Hostel steps they neighed something about a Riding Club Hop.
Society's darling, debonair Mike Newson, was caught by a DAILY TELEGRAPH photographer doing an eightsome r e e l with the Queen Mother a t the U.L.U. President's B a l l recently. With c h a r a c t e r i s t i c modesty he was facing away from the camera at the time. We gather that i t was an enjoyable a f f a i r from what he hiccoughed later at the Carnival, i n between clarinet solos from a horizontal position on the floor.
Temperance Society,
W.C. Dec. 7th.
Dear S i r , My attention has been drawn to the fact that i t i s planned to include i n the new I.C. Union building a room of considerable dimensions whose sole purpose i s the sale of intoxication l i q u ors, and the singing of songs of a nature such that most members of the College are r i g h t l y shocked by the low moral standards displayed by the drunken participants. It i s well known that the incidence of drunkenness i n the younger generation i s increasing, and the corresponding decline i n moral standards i s , I am sure, due to the disgusting habit of some students (fortunately few) drinking themselves insensible on every possible occasion. Is i t not too late to have the plans altered and convert this room to some more useful purpose such as for communalhymn singing, or i f this i s impossible to limit the liquids sold to those of beneficial nature such as milk and orange juice. Yours etc., A. Charles
Rumours, circulated by Mr. Leston, well-known musician, composer, author, bug-catch-er andgenius (as he modestly w i l l admit)that this issue was to be a Denis Leston Farewell Edition, are ent i r e l y without foundation.
Another rumour t h a t has been spreadi n g r e c e n t l y i s t h a t I.C. has a P r e s i d e n t and t h a t he may appear i n p u b l i c soon. T h i s i s no cause t c p a n i c however, f o r rumours, l i k e dartbtjards, have a way o f disappearing into t h i n a i r .
B e f o r e you JJ.1 3 e t t l e down t o the s e r i o u s b u s i n e s s of c e l e b r a t i n g , here i s a l e t t e r from a p r e v i o u s F e l i x (December 1956) which might i n t e r e s t you.
The most s i g n i g i c a n t t h i n g t h e r e , i t seems t o me, i s t h e W.C.
We feel that we should apologise for any inconsistansies i n this issue. For, with a make-up immediately after the carnival, we did not get-*e-bed get much sleep that weekend.
8
FELIX
2 0
HENCE (FROM THE FELIX OF OCTOBER 29 ISLAND
SITE
1978)
ALMOST
READY
Last Thursday the Director-General of the Imperial Technical College, i n the University of Kensington, spoke to an invited audience of Professors i n the Techtopian Hall. Owing to the presence of journalists being forbidden by the Director of College Security, the only report available of the D-G s address i s that issued by the Chancellor of Publications. 1
"During the last Technological Year the Board of Inspectors has permitted lJOO technocrats to be awarded Diplomas and Associate3hips i n recognition of their devotion to the doctrines of our eminent establishment. Former Diplomates now hold a large percentage of the Chairmen's seats of our public organisations. The industrial pre-eminence of our country i s due, i n no small measure, to their inspired leadership.
"The rebuilding of our main s i t e , begun many years ago, proceeds apace; f i n a l landscaping with the s i t i n g of statuary, symbolic of our heritage, should be complete next summer. It i s , however, with no small measure of regret, that our f i n a l r e l i c of last oentury's Empire had to be demolished
_
i s ever-pre3ent. Vast slaps of concrete, faced with -.^riegated slate, and fast darkening Portland stone, soar up into the azure skies. The seried f i l e s of glass, mirror the suns rays into the darkest recesses of the neighbouring courtyards.
i n view of i t s Pisa-like tendencies. Colcutt's Campanile, a symbol of V i c t orian morals, proved to be of insufficient strength tp support our atomic powered stereo-colourvision station which has for many years been the major disseminator of technicoprogaganda.
YEARS
"Turning over now to student a f f a i r s , the Union, with i t s compulsory membership "Our thanks are due to the United moves from strength to strength. As a Grand Lodge of Space-Travelling Proferesult of their ever increasing numbers, ssors, for their munificent benefaction further committees have been created, of £500,000 and vast quantities of i n order to control the committees moonshine. This w i l l be a spur for our charge i n the investigation of the primeval already existing. Overall control i s , however, vested i n the small central occupations of the inhabitants of outer praesidium which meats regularly i n the space. Presidents offices. Owing to the pressure of compulsory 3tudy the time available for extra-technical interests "Our ever-growing resident pophas been unavoidably reduced. ulation, an increase of sixteen over the last week, has called for an expan"In conclusion, Professors, I give sion of our existential rooms. To meet you the charge; press on with your t h i s contingency, only married couples researches, i n s t i l into your students are permitted t o rent a room for their the necessity for hard work, give to own exclusive use, a l l other students the world the benefit of your s k i l l . " w i l l be required t o l i v e a Cox and Box l i f e . For this purpose Professorial declamations w i l l be issued i n duplicate at twelve hour intervals. A l l students w i l l be required to attend these instructions, under the pain of elimination, and deportation t o the Farm, at Silwood Park. I n p a s s i n g , I should mention that over the last f i f t e e n years three wardens have seen f i t t o commit suicide from the balconies of t h i e r tenth story penthouse f l a t s . L i t t l e truth i s attached t o the rumours t h a t their minds were deranged by a former Domestic Charge d'Affairs, but i n view of the Coroner's remarks, this post has now been abolished.
COMMENT John Taylor writes: The Director-General' s address makes interesting reading. The development of College follows the well worn paths of Administrative monoliths. As a student diring the early days of the rebulding scheme i t was with interest that I read of i t s impending completion. During the time that I was a member of the FELIX board, I was a ceaseless c r i t i c of the f o l l i e s of College Organisation. I hope that many of my contemporaries w i l l not f e e l too deeply the subsequent development of I.C. as a Technical College.
"On excursions through our newly created heritage avoiding whenever possible the manumated gardeners, the feeling of over-powering monumentality.
* see Opera of same name by Gilbert
FELIX GIFT-GUIDE _
|A BRIEF SURVEY OF T I € L / t T E S T TRENDS I ^CHRISTMAS GIFTS, WITH SUGGESTIONS
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LIKELY TO APPRECIATE
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S000 HAVE BEEN SOLD TO fWDIO LUXEMBOURG BUT THE SUPAGRAM THE MOST UP-T0J>ATE GAME MINI FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY IS A BIT OF BACH NOW LUNAR PROBE PLAYED WITH AND THENA REAL M00N-ROCKET AND AND HE RE IS THE RADIO-ACTIVE MCE . BEST POINT OF ALL L U N A R PROBE BEGINS THE DOBS WITH A SPECTACULAR A N T I CLIMAX AND ENDS WITH A NOT RUN ON BLsarAicirr TOTALLY UNEXPECTED BANG ALL IT NEEDS IS A Lime GLUCOSE ONCE IN A THE WINNER is ALWAYS WHILE • JOHN S H C U O N , BUTTHE PRICE IS ENS. AT FKEjre. T , V e , S STILL ENJOY ORRNYtlooLMMATHS. £l FROM CUMUDdue LTJ.
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FELIX
NUMBERS
&
FIGURES There i a a very large number of variables which affeot attraction , as i s discussed i n the literature. A currant theory states that the i n i t i a l attraction i s , as a r i r 3 t approximation a function of the body forces, which .are isually expressed i n terms of three variables. The purpose of this paper i s to show that by *he use of dimensional analysis these variables oan be combined into a dimensionless group , or number. -This number oan be used as a basis for comprrison and discussion, and can be correlated with experimentally determined coefficients of attraction.
Let the variables be denoted by Each has the W and H respectively. dimension of length, and for strong attraction B should be much larger than W, and also H should be larger than W. Choosing that an increase in the attraction coefficient corresponds to an increase i n the value of the dimensionless group, this group can be defined as
It i s suggested that, following s c i e n t i f i c custom, this number should be named after a well-established and rominent contributor to this work o.f. Reynolds, Mach, Prandtl etc.) and this number w i l l hereafter be c a l led the Monroe Number, Mo.
f
The Monroe number can be readily measured at any time for individual specimens, and since i t i s dimensionless i t i s possible to compare values regardless of whether the units of measurement are inches or centimetres, provided the units are consistent. This f a c i l i t a t e s ready comparison between English and Continental specimens.
The coefficient *i attraction i s defined as the probability of general positive or approving response amongst Male specimens. This can be s t a t i s t i c a l l y determined for various values of Mo., both from direct experiment and by inference from published data. In this way, the coefficient of attraction can be found as a function of Mo. Recent workers i n this f i e l d (cf.Sabrina, Mansfield) have enabled data to be obtained for very high values of Mo.
It i s well known that Mo. for a particular specimen i s a function of Between the age of that specimen. the ages of 10 and 20 years Mo rises significantly, and after attaining a peak value f a l l s slowly through the l i f e of the specimen, tho.gh the rate of decay may increase by a high d i s s i pation coefficient. By correlating the coefficient of attraction with age, the ages of Hope and Despair can be found.
Many specimens are known to attsnpt to alter their attraction cosfficient bj a r t i f i c i a l means. Now, >y calculating the effects on their ipparent Mo. i t i s possible to decide letween, say, an increment of B or a ecrement of W, and consequently base uch alterations on established data.
I
sc/SA/r/A
/MPEPII
Irperial's a worthy name, denotes that learned place, Where a l l the time they're hard at work to lead the B r i t i s h race; They're the butt of other students, v the examiner's last sigh Which really when you think a while, they hardly would deny. Scientia i s always found i n every l i t t l e dive From Earls Court Road to Palace Gate, and back tc Mqoney's hive; They're sitting drinking coffee, or propping up a bar While a l l the time their College wor!: is dropping under par. Imperii, Imperii, there's nothing like Imperity They never break the natural law, the law of deep depravity;
DECUS
E r
TUTAMEN
Their somnambulistic powers are the pride of London Town As they s i t and sleep through lectures, *hat they never w i l l take down. Decus and defender, they c a l l Imperial men, They support and raise the Empire, yet hardly raise a pen; Their brows are wrinkled with dee-> thought, the thought that they aione Can help the world to b u i l d afresh, the others' wrongs atone. Et f i n a l l y Tutamen, the shield of a l l that's good, As they help uphold the high ideals of Imperial's brotherhood: Impe-ial for ever, they never w i l l f a l l down, But always seek to keep alive the joys of London Town. J.K.T.
Across
Down
1. Pending - Sounds as tho' the farmer must undo his labours. 3. Natural source of f i s h and food. 5. The sphere of a king's a c t i v i t i e s . 3. I f you use this you can't expect to hear. (3-4) Sounds 12. An author and rider. uncomplimentary! 16. Blow to the nation. 18. Long for without Ann. 19. Fact and f a i t h f u l . 20. Speaks out - and he who does also adds up. 22. A big name, i n time. 24. The salt flats? 26. A helper at the Embassy? 27. An imaginary creature beheaded becomes breezy. 28. Different f i r s , mixed up last night. 29. Tour old-fashioned, 31. Cut the t a i l off the s t r i c t . 32. I t spins, on the peak. 35- The second letters. Greek to me. 38. Super, these, may break your windows. (5,6) 41. This debater comes i n second. 42. I f the door i s this then beware burglars (2,5). 43- Britannia i s mechanized. 44- Farewell for a run. Xou couldn't 45. They breathe, too. l i v e without them.
1. This witness should help someone, given i n court. (6,9) 2. Wait for i t ! 3. Sounds muffled yet i s entranced. 4. I t canes right back at you. 6. Old snippet of wisdom. 7. These are the best tines for dreams. (9,6) 9. The Bishop'3 5 across. 10. These happen gradually. 11. A p i g without a bee for the boat. 13. The sluggard's source of inspiration. 14. The glider tangles with trees for construction. (6,5) 15. Don't forget to break the gun. 17. Certainly 13 down i s not. 21. The oat s i t s on i t , perhaps. 22. Most of 35 across. 23. Its no old-fashioned. 25. Good for sound and sounds l i k e 34 down. 30. Blow of anger. 32. A savoury j e l l y . 33* Also excessive. 34ÂŤ Blame Horner f o r messing i t up! 35. In Arab inside. 36. The French after this sounds musical. 37ÂŤ Its rude to stare. Change i t ! 39. I f you catch fciis with your 11 down you're f o r i t . 40. An arrangement of Christmas by itself.
The Solution appears on Page 11.
FELiX
10
VARIATION ON
A
THEME
In this offering of our Supplement to the Psychopatic News we approach Christmas, or shal l I rather say, we a^eak up on i t carefully from behind - anticipating those joyous f e s t i v i t i e s which terminate in the Traditional Boxing Day Feast of two f r i e d aspirins on toast.
While i n festive vein, one of my most regular patients (thanks to Sludge, the wonder breakfast food) - gave me the following offering •-
And so the l i s t continues, a pageant of history and l i e s , from Boxing Day, (the day when every good Roman handed his box in) through to New Year's Eve (or as i t i s called i n Scotland "Havemany") the time for making resolutions, which I advice you a l l to do including -
1 ) To buy every issue of Felix, 2) Never to read "Sig" again this to save me work. 3) To do only what your metabolism prompts you to do. This last i s intended to keep St. George's Hospital i n business as our friends.
"Yuletide logs?" said the surgeon Hacking through some guts, "They're just the thing at Xmas For bolting down with nuts".
COMING EVENTS. Friday 3 t h December. I.C. Photographic Society lecture: "Pictoria l Photography and Control" by M.O. Dell. Botany Lecture Theatre 5.15 P«m. I.C. Internation Relations Club. Informal evening with speaker from the Danish Embassy Braia. Soc. "The Miser" Saturday 6 t h December. University Cross-Country Championship: start Parliament H i l l 3 p.m. Quarter f i n a l of U.L. Soccer Cup at Harlington v C.E.M. Dram. Soo. "The Miser" Week-end 6 - 7 t h December.
This, of course, i s the classical approach along with Dickens, Plum Pudding, bleary l i t t l e Robins squatting i n backyards, stage-coaches, hangovers etc. etc. It i s this very classical approach observed by a l l true green-blooded B r i t ishers which puzzles the foreign v i s i t o r , particularly i f he i s from abroad, or some other country, as many foreign v i s i t o r s are.
Touchstone: "Marxism - Assessment and Re-assessment", by Professor Emer. Hyman Levy. Monday 8 t h December. Chinese Society. Colour film show i n Chemical Engineering Lecture Theatre 5.15 p.m. Tuesday 9 t h December. General Studies: "Lloyd George and Churchill as War Ministers" by John Ehrman, M.A. "Introduction to Ballet", Arnold Haskell, C.3.E.
F i r s t of a l l , they are puzzled by the Xmas tree. Who, says the Oriental, but an idiot , would go out into the woods, dig down or cut up a tree, load i t s t i l l f i l t h y into the back of the Hells, take i t home and stick i t into a flour pot i n the dining room? I f you want to hang up present on something like this, what i s wrong with a tame elk - the hocks come with the set.
Wine Tasting Soc.'Inexpensive Wines' 7/ine Hall Dinner - Dres3 Formal Thursday 1 1 t h . December ARE
The true story of the Xmas tree goes back (like the Editors) into a dim and merky past f u l l of legend and myth. I t developed from a habit of the Ancient Britons and Picts who used woad to paint themselves. A famous Scot advised them to keep right on, which they did, and got to the end of the woad. As a result, i n the coldest 3eason of the year the A;B. and P. were caught with a lack of. Hence they took i n f i r trees, on the mistaken assumption that the farthest branch woads would then be accessible.
Christmas Pudding i s well known to Indians, of course, for i t was invented in the Far East. I t was served up, as a protestation against B r i t i s h rule to the High Commissioner for India by a Ragput, Ewe Go Ram. On being t o l d that i t was a protestation, the High Commissioner remarked "delicious". Christmas
Protestation and custard soon became the standard meal at this time of year. (The custom of setting f i r e to the brandy over the pudding derives from the same sauce - "send him a flaming protestation"). Corruption has led to i t s being called a "pudding" which i s a pity.
"Mince pies" also have an interesting history dating back to the Hpper Silesian of Wessex. This i s another corruption, this time of the phrase "minced spies" - a delicacy enjoyed by the Kings of Wessex, on the principle that i f you are wrapped around a spy, he can only inform i n you, but not on you.
YOU
ELEVEN
PLUS
?
Give the next two sets of three letters i n each of the following: (1) NGU TOO GAI KOW (2) SAI F 0 0 YIN WOR (3) JAR TZE MIN HAR
ANSWER YUM YUM i n each case. These three items were taken from the menu.of a Chinese restaurant and translated are:( 1 ) Stewed eel mar with chicken i n gravy. (2) Stewed bird's nest with minoed chicken and water l i l y nut. (3) Fried Prawn cutlet. As a matter of interest SHE JOP PAI AUK FAN i s a disguise for r i c e with spare r i b i n bean gravy etc.
I.C. Jazz Club ;'A farewell party for Dennis Leston' Concert Hall 1 p.m.
Friday 1 2 t h December END OF TERM MINES BALL
GHANA
EXPEDITION
/J5B
A oolloquium on the 1958 Ghana Expedi t i o n was held at the I.C. F i e l d Station Silwood Park on Nov. 2 6 t h . Three members of the party gave the Staff and Research students a preliminary account of the t r i p , i l l u s t r a t e d with colour slides. Some of the s c i e n t i f i c results obtained were mentioned and subsequenly stimulated a l i v e l y discussion.
1
BUFFETS
\FORMAL
MINES DEC
BALL
FOR SALE: Reliable crash helmet latest fashion i n 3 colours. Has saved previous owner from certain death. Bargain at 2 2 / 6 . Apply V.K. Royce v i a Union Rack. 1935 Hillman 10 h.p. Drophead coupe. Good tyres, brakes, engine etc. Ideal runabout or for conversion to a special. £40 o.n.o. Apply F. Peacock, Room L 6 3 Roderick H i l l Building (Int. Tel. 8 7 5 )
TICKETS
CABARET
SALE
12
9-5
2G7-
FOR
DOUBLE BAR
Genuine STRING shoe laces, for brown or black men's shoes: tough, f u l l length. A l l f i t t e d with our patent anti-fray knotted ends. Special reduction f o r large quantities; Apply R.J. Phys.III Sent through rack or i n plain envelope.
FELIX
II
SWIMMING
MOTORING
HOCKEY
The water polo team i 3 now beginning to play aa a team, and have scored several hard earned v i c t o r i e s . The successful run started when Regent St. Poly were-defeated at the Poly Although bath, by 7 goals to 6. seemingly a close result I.C. were never behind, Poly scoring three late goals. Scorers:- Jones 4, Basham 2, Larsen 1. The next evening Q.M.C. were our guests, whom we well beat by 4 - 2 i n a hard fought game. Scorers:- .Jones 3, Larsen 1. The College next defeated an Avondale II team by 4 - 3 after a very hard, fast match. Scorers:- Basham 2, Jones 1, Mears 1. A feature of these games has been the impressed showing of Janes, who i s now the clubs leading goalscorer. The second team broke their loosing sequence when they defeated Chelsea Poly by 4-2, and i n so doing, gave the best exhibition of polo seen at the College this term. Scorers:- Church, Connor, Wilson, H i l l s . The previous evening they had put up a poor show against N.E.C., a much stronger team than Chelsea, loosing 8-1. The swimming section have been continuing their winning-ways. The f i r s t team, although weakened, were Just too strong for Q.M.C. winning by the narrow margin of 2 pts. The second team v i s i t e d Goldsmiths and showed the power of the College reserve strength, by winning every event, romping home by 37 pts to 21 pts.
The Hockey Club has continued to maintain a high level of "winning efficiency", and, considering a l l four teams, the results now show that 20 of of the 32 games .;ave been won and five drawn. The greatest share of success must go to the 1st XI, who have now won 10 of their 14 games, drawn 3 n d only lost one. The cup team received a great boost by beating Battersea i n the f i r s t round of the U.L. Cup. Last years winners, were beaten 2 - 1 i n one of the most exciting games of the season. I f the team can keep up this standard of plaj' for the rest of the competition, then the cup should be claimed by I.C. a
The 2nd XI i s producing equally good results despite f a i r l y constant changes. The general standard of play i n this team has improved greatly this term and members of the 1 st XI are beginning to realize that places can only be kept by consistent play and general keenness. The 4th XI i n i t s f i r s t season i s showing remarkable keenness, and by winning 4 °f i t s f i r s t b games has proved that the mate - i a l of a good team i s there. The recent provision of I.C. shirts has done much to improve the prestige of the team •
COLUMN HEAVY
ENGINEERING
In view of the amount of whitemetal found i n J e z ' s o i l f i l t e r , she was taken to the Dennis works at Guildt. ford to check on the state of the bearings. She went there on Friday evening and work began on Saturday morning. She was placed on a ramp and the sump and various odds and ends were removed. The chairman now personally reoommends XXL hair cream. The bearings were found to be i n r e l a t i v e l y good condition, with a reasonable amount of metal l e f t i n the shells. Provided that revs are kept down, Jez should be good for. several years more. A defective pipe i n the o i l 'system' was replaced, with the result that we now have some o i l pressure, which i s probably a good thing.
Reassembly began on Saturday afternoon and was finished on Sunday morninng. She arrived back a t R.C.S. a f t e r a verypleasant journey home.
We are proud to relate that Nigel Holmes has recently been appointed vicecaptain of U.L. 1st XI team. Stanton and Mantel continue to rush about on the wings and Dave Rees ( on. Sec. I.C. H.C.) has established himself i n the half back line.
P.L. Harris.
TT
SQUASH
SA/L/NG A s t u d e n t who spends t h r e - o f the "best y e a r s o f h i s ( o r h e r ) l i f e a t Impe r i a l C o l l e g e and who does not take f u l l advantage o f the o p p o r t u n i t i e s o f f e r e d by the Union has missed the chance o f a l i f e t i m e . Everybody i n t h e C o l l e g e , f o r example, i s a b l e t o t r y h i s hand a t a new s p o r t , perhaps one which he has never b e f o r e c o n s i d e r e d . F o r most people, s a i l i n g i s j u s t such a s p o r t . The C o l l e g e c l u b s a i l s f i v e r a c i n g d i n g h i e s o f the f i r e f l y c l a s s on the Welsh Har a t Wembley,, g e n e r a l l y r e c o g n i s e d as the, l a r g e s t and b e s t s t r e t c h o f s a i l i n g water i n the London area. Races are h e l d e^cli week-end and w i t h i n a few months most .eople can l e a r n t o handle a boar oo:npeteiitiy enough t o take p a r t . The c l u b hopes t o exten - i t s a c t i v i t i e s d u r i n g the summer te :nv and l o n g v a c a t i o n t o c r u i s i n g i n l a r g e r boats i n coastax -watarc. People i n t e r e s t e d s h o u l d watch the I.O.S.C. n o t i c e board.
BASKET
BALL
The I.C. 1 st team i n i t s 4th match played against Woolwich Poly, the league's most prominent team. The team was by no means outclassed, but at half time were 12 points down. The second half produced two quick baskets for I.C., but tiiis, however, did not result in victory; Woolwich 56 ots. - I.C. 48 Pts.
Thirsting for revenge we regarded University College as mere "Lambs to the Slaughter", despite the presence of a Unive sity player i n their team. Par superior i n every aspect of the game I.C. were never troubled, and f i n a l l y won by 44 pts - 22 pts.
With only the "sport" fixture against U.L. Women to be played, the l s t team has carried its, unbe ten Conreco d almost to Christmas. stant practice and at least t-vo matches per week have given the team much needed match fitness and this i s reflected i n the results. During the past two weeks Q.M.C., St. Edmund Hall, O.sford, and Kings were a l l beaten by 5-0 and on Sa-turday, November 29th Reading University were beaten 4-1. It has been a most successful term and we hope, despite the c a l l s of examinations, to maintain this record throughout the season.
SOLUTION
!
ATHLETICS Sundry members of the club were prised from their cocoons to compete i n a relay meeting against L . 3 . 3 . , U.C., King's and a v i s i t i n g German team Mannheim. Owing to bad t r a f f i c conditions the tourists arrived an hour and a half late when many runners had gone home, but scratch teams were entered with varied results a l l round, glowworms being used instead of batons. A free tea afterwards compensated somewhat for the disappointing results.
Unfortunate!-' f o r N.E.C., cur next opponents, I.C. 1st t~am h i t too form. The team maintained an unrelenting ores ure vjal at half time led by ^4 - 9. In the second half the same high standard of play was maintained; resulting in a f i n a l score of 109 - 21. (which constitutes a league record). The magnificent performance of player/coach, t i k e Barron, must not go unheralded. Despite his lack of inches he managed to score 56 points. The next match was against Chelsea, gave I.C. l i t t l e trouble, with I.C. dictating the pace. The team played l i k e demons, but missed the jackpot by 9pts., beating Chelsea by 91 - 22.
CLUB
TO
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ssojoy
12
•MKT EDITED BY K.W. LUDLAM.
I.C.W.S.C. After several years o f much c o r r e spondence, we have arranged to v i s i t Delft University t h i s Christmas. Despite the Post Office attractions, we are t a k ing teams f o r hockey, netball, swimming, tennis, table-tennis and badminton. We expect to play our matches on f o u r days and spend two days sight-seei-\-. ^?e have already had many male volunteers f o r masseurs, trainers etc., but, a l a s , our grant i s f o r I.C.W.S.C. only. However, we would appreciate a ceremonial send-off from Liverpool Street Station about 8 - CO a.m. on Monday 15 December. SWIMMING We have again, since very few freshers are w i l l i n g t o take t o water, entered the U.L.W.S.C. League with Middlesex H o s p i t a l . T h i s year, the League has two s e c t i o n s , and we, after our e f f o r t s l a s t y e a r are i n the f i r s t s e c t i o n . So f a r we have won two matches and l o s t one.
RUGBY On Saturday 15 November, the 1st.IT had a very successful "expedition" to Somerset, when they lost to Bridgwater, a f i r s t class West Country club, by 5-0. Despite the slippery conditions the team played up to the occasion. The evenings rite:-tainraent lasted u n t i l 4 30 a.m. f o r 30me, and was particularly enjoyed by the Hon(?) Fixture Secretary. The following Wednesday the team met L.S.E. i n the second round of the U.L. Cup. This was an away game played i n good conditions, and resulted in a decisive win for I.C. (12 pts. to C). Milward and 'argretts Poth scored t r i e s , whilst P h i l l i p s licked two good penalties. I n the next round, on February 11th, 1559, the club meet Wye College. Last Saturday the 1 st XV played a strong Saracens ex-1 st team i n slippery conditions, with the emphasis on forward play; t i s game marJs the f i r s t occasion upon which our pack has r e a l l y been mastered. At half time there was no score, and the result s t i l l unpredictable Early i n the second half two good t r i e s , however, decided the game i n Saracen's favour. The f i n a l score at the end of a very hard fought game was 6 - 0 . Contrary to many opinions the fact, t h a t half of the team had been to the Il.C.S . carnival, d i d not affect the result.
T h i s i s m a i n l y due t o E l i z a b e t h F e r r i s , the Olympic d i v e r who i s ir. her f i r s t year a t M i d d l e s e x H o s p i t a l . Her s t a n d a r d o f swimming i s much above the r e s t o f the team. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , I.C. e f f o r t i s r e s t r i c t e d t o a few W.S. old f a i t h f u l s , - i t would be p l e a s i n g i f f r e s h e r s c o u l d remember t h e i r F r e s h e r s R e c e p t i o n cromiae. N e v e r t h e l e s s - I t h i n k t a t we s h a l l do w e l l i n the League - i f not by our e f f o r t s .
TABLE - TENNIS The t a b l e tenn-is team has l a v e d t h r e e matchee t i£ term's next te cm they hone to w i n a t l e a s t one match.
HOCKEY Ii. f i r s t match we were :c:iv i n c i n g l y beaten 5 - Q by ILLngs I I . The team wa-j .acre p r a c t i s e 1 and f i t t e r f o r •.he match a g a i n s t C h e l s e a P o l y I, a draw r e s u l t e d . The next match we d e f e a t e d B i r k b e c k I, 4 mainly because o f a .much improved forward line.
I.C.W.A. Hockey team had the "Honour" of playing the I.C. Sports Club, i n t h e i r 1st f i x t u r e of the sea.-on, at Harlin t o n on Sunday 23 Nocember. The - p o r t a C l u b fielded a far f i t t e r , faster
and
s t r o n g e r team producing some very
good hoc.:r/ p l a y e r s from the Rugby Club. The game was f a s t ana c l e a n , but I.C.W.A, c o u l d make o n l y a .--light i m p r e s s i o n , losing by 4 g o a l s t o 2. The e n t e r t a i n ment WciS c o n t i n u e d a f t e r w a r d s i n the bar
and on the dance floor. I.C.W.A. cong r a t u l a t e the I.C. Sports Club for their c h i v a l r y on and o f f the f i e l d .
SQUASH
I.G.'.S.C. has now seven squash rlayers, only two these having any previous experience on the courts. The Men's Squash Club have given us a few t r a i n i n " periods which ha-^e helped considerably. In our f i r s t match we were decisively beaten 5 - 0 by U.C. With mors practice the match against 3.B.C. resulted i n a J - 2 win. Against Westfield our standard of play was oonsia-j erahly improved, but we lost 3 - 2 . The match against Cardiff was cancelled, because the team never got there?
Tomorrow's games represent the l a s t f o r the I.C. teams t h i s t e m,
with true Christmas " s r i r i t "
we aim
to win them a l l , thus rounding off an
The Cross Country Club has continued to be very successful during the past fortnight. There have been no f i r s t team matches i n this period, as six I.C. men have been running i n the two U.L. teams, but I.C. II have defeated Marjons, R.A.F. Cranwell, Repton School and S.W. Essex Tech. College, while I.C. I l l have beaten two teams, Barclays Bank and Royal Vets I I , losing to Wimbledon A.G. For the second team the Marjons and S.W.E.T.C. races, both on away courses, were easy victories. However, the race against Cranwell and Repton, over the Cranwell course, was very closely fought. A l l three teams were very evenly matched, the f i n a l result being: 1. I.C. I I , 52 pts. 2. Repton, 54 pts. 3. Cranwell, 65 pts. The individual winner, by 2 seconds, was G.P. T i l l y , the I.C. Captain. This i s the f i r s t season i n which the club has had t h i r d team fixtures, and i t i s most encouraging to see that I.C. I l l can win races.
en.ioyable term's Rugby.
SOCCER The 1st XI, undefeated in t h e i r l a s t six matches, drew 1-1 last Wednesday against St. '.-.ark and St. John's College. The following Wednesday the team played University College i n a League match, and, as anticipated, a After leading very hard game ensued. 1-0 at half-time, a forceful header by Young, the team played very well i n the second half and the f i n a l result 1-1 was a true reflection of the match. The 1st XI record this season i s : P 14
G.F.
G.A.
41
41
On Saturday Nov. 22, the 2nd and 3rd XI's had very easy matches against Brasenose College I and New College I, winning 8-2 and 6-3 respectively. The following Wednesday the two teams, continuing their winning farm beat Royal Dentals (3-1) and R.N.C. Greenwich (3-1). The teams record this season i s : 2nd XI 3rd XI
13 14
W
D
L
G.F.
G.A.
7 7
0 2
6 5
53 44
33 25
The 4th, 5th and 6th teams have continued to play well in their games and snouid do quite well i n their respective divisions. Their performances this year are shown by:4th 5th 6th
P
W
D
L
G.F.
15 12 14
7 9 8
3 0 l
5 3 5
54 64 59
40 46
The 7th XI i s s t i l l continuing to function and has played eight matches so far this season. Several of t h e i r games have been cancelled due solely to the unfit state of grounds and a l l these by opponents.
Published by FELIX d a t e d by s IL
and
C R O S S COUNTRY
VOUS
BOARD PLAIT
F i n a l l y , i n a t r i a n g u l a r match a t Petersham, an I.C. "A" team s c o r i n g 62 pts. were beaten i n t o t h i r d p l a c e by L l o y d s (49; and k i n g s I ( 6 l ) . Tilly 29 m 11 sec , B e r n a r d 29 m 24 sec. _nu Manson 30 m 05 sec. A l l recorded p e r s o n a l b e s t times f o r t h e course. In the same r a c e an I.C. t h i r d team d e f e a t e d Goldsmiths by 94 - 132.
FENCING The term has • een > iu.it e p r o m i s i n g . Our membership has increased, c o n s i d e r a b l y and our fres.iers are showing a g r a t i f y i n g keenness, due p o s s i b l y t o our nevi P r o f e s s o r , A. M o l d c / a n y i . Our f i x t u r e s have as u s u a l s u f f e r e d from c a n c e l l a t i o n s , o n l y t h r e e o f our scheduled f i x t u r e s h a v i n g taken p i : c e . The l a s t o f these was a g a i n s t L.SoiS. on Saturday 29th I n s t , the r e s u l t o f vrhich war-a win f o r I.G. by 14 bouts t o 12, •vith one not c l a y e d . The d e t a i l e d result:-: were: -
1 , 1. P.Deeley 2. P. E n g l i s h F o i l L.S.E. 9 , 1 . J. Ni.-kails 2. I.B. H i l l 3. D.S. T u r n e r 4 . P. E n g l i s h Sabre 1 R. Deeley 2.J. K i c k a l l s 3.P. E n g l i s h
1
Q 1
3 2
1 2 4 2
3 2 1
0 1 1
I.C. 7 2
If there are any more people i n the College who would like t o fence i t i s s t i l l not too late to join, and they rould be most welcome.
R E F E R E E S , urgently required from College to supervise some Wednesday and Saturday games for the Soccer Club. Expenses of 7/6 for unqualified and 10/6 far qualified referees are offered, plus a free tea at Harlington. Interested personnel should contact Mr. J . Murcott v i a the Union Rack.
Imperial College Union S.W.7. Ltd. 307a, Telephone Placew. 14.