T l I r-fcir vai <- n a _ _ — _ THE N E W S P A P E R O F n
Nr.130
I M P E R I A L
C O L L E G E
UNION
F R I D A Y , FEBRUARY 1 3 t h , 1959
4d
IC A N D W U S C A R N I V A L GARNETT;
HELP TO M A K E IT
A S U C C ESS
D E A T
H
A T H E
C A R N I V A L
On Saturday, Hay 9th, the Annual W.U.S. Carnival w i l l again he held i n the grounds of Bedford College. I t has already been decided that the Carnival should consist of a Float Procession through the West End (with Police permission) and a Garden Fete involving s t a l l s , sideshows, performances by jazzbands etc., and a fancy dress competitions.
W.U.S. have given their permission f o r the Carnival to be organised by the B.L.U. Executive, and this i s a move to erase memories of an organised chaos, and the f i r s t decision has been that the Carnival should have a theme; namely,
C H A R I T Y
C O M E
Last year, far the f i r s t time, the I.C. Union made a determined effort to outdo a l l the other London Colleges, and we succeeded. 'Consequently, the Union i s again gearing i t s e l f for the coming event, which provides an excellent opportunity to really show the rest of the University exactly what I.C. oan do - not only on the sports f i e l d , but i n other spheres.
Details w i l l be announced both at the I.C. Union Meeting and at Constituent College Union Meetings, and W.U.S. Carnival Committees are being formed in order to complete the detailed preparations. These w i l l be represented on an I.C. Union W.U.S. - Carnival Committee under the^ chairmanship of Mioh—J Newson, the U.L.U. Rep. to make this Carnival amthwrt Imperial College success.
Jtidlde
The success of the I.C. contribution i n the forthcoming W.U.S. Carnival ties i n with another plan which I shall now outline. The comment has often been made that I.C. Union does nothing for charity. Although this i s not s t r i c t l y correct I have been of the opinion for several months past that we could certainly do more. Consequently, St. George's Hospital has been contacted with view to endowing an Imperial College Bed i n that hospital. This would cost approximately £1,000 or the equivalent spread over several years.
Naturally, we cannot afford to write out a cheque for this amount, and, i n addition, i t would not mean a great deal. ^
The L.C. Union w i l l therefore organise, commencing i n the Summer term of 1960, an Annual Garden Party and Fete. The object w i l l be to raise money to endow a bed i n St. George's Hospital, as outlined above, and the Fete w i l l be held, with the permission of the Rector, i n Princes Gardens. The idea i s not to raise a l l the money from the students but from local r e s i dents and shopkeepers etc. This w i l l commence on a Monday, and the fete w i l l be held on the Saturday afternoon of the same week, concluding with a dance i n the evening.
Although the College 'vehicles' w i l l be on the road, this w i l l NOT be another Field Cup Day, nor a Rag Day, but w i l l be an I.C. Fete, and for once we shall know the exact destination of the money that we raise. I shall very soon be contacting the Presidents of other Colleges and universities i n this country i n order to benefit from their experience, but this does not mean that I do not want your ideas. Anyone with experience of such an event, or with ideas, however small, is invaluable i f this venture i s to be a success.
A Visitor's eye .... p.3 Letters
.... p.5
Jans Club
.... p.6
F
F R I E N D
P L A N S
S H A P E O F T H I N G S T O
O
R. H. T. GARNETT President, I.C.U.
The death of Mr. F.W. James on the 26th. of last month, at the untimely age of 48, has deprived this college of a well-known and liked figure. His loss w i l l be particularly f e l t by the overseas students, i n whom he always took a great interest.
Francis Wogan James came to the ICollege i n 1230, on a Royal Scholarship from Haverford West. He graduated i n -Chemistry i n 1933* In 1936, he became Research Assistant i n Highway Engineering. He was of the opinion, however, that he could be of mare use as an interpreter of other peoples work and applied f o r the post of Assistant l i b r a r i a n . Within a short time, he was Librarian of the Unwin Library.
In 1941, he joined the Army and served i n the RASC, RA0C and as Captain in the RBME - he was especially ocnoerned with eleotrioal circuits,and radar, i n particular. Mr. James returned to the College in 1946, to re-apply his great knowledge and a b i l i t y to interpret literature. Since 1952, he has been the Treasurer of the the A.C.C. and since October, 1958, he was the Chief Librarian of the College i n charge of a l l the individual libraries.
U N I O N
M E E T I N G
An Imperial College Union Meeting i * to be held i n the Concert Hall on Thursday, February 24th. 1959. A motion,for discussion at the Union Meeting reads as follows:•This Union should commit the mascots of the three constituent colleges to a place of reverence and safety, and that they should be l e f t there as a symbol of the hooliganism of the past." This promises to be a Union Meeting well worth attending.
P A R A D I S E
E N O W
A PERSONAL VIET OP THE GUILD'S CARNIVAL*
"Oh, i t ' s simply wonderful" said a pretty g i r l , leaning on the arm of a rather grim-looking gentleman who was inexpertly clutching a wooden cutlass. She was admiring this year's decoration) for the Guild's Carnival - "Pirates Paradise". And wonderful they were, too - certainly, that Concert Hall has never before been so expertly disguised and turned so r e a l i s t i c a l l y into something other than i t s real, forbidding, self.
For the benefit of those so unlucky as not to have seen this transformation, perhaps I had better explain. The entire Conoert Hall had been turned into the foredeck of a pirate galleon the stage forming the quarterdeck. The wooden floor of the hall was the only unchanged feature that could be recognised, serving as the actual deck of the ship. Looking over the scuppers of this Imperial Galleon, one could see islands and a most sanguine sunset on the port quarter. Mermaids draped themselves around i n poses reminiscent of some soap advertisement and to complete the effect, a flimsy muslin roof hid the c l i n i c a l lights and roof of the erstwhile Hall from view. Fortunately the r e a l i s t i c sea was r e a l i s t i c a l l y oalm and no-one was r e a l i s t i c a l l y seasick.
The construction of a large and efficient bar on the landing outside the entrance to the Concert Hall was a very welcome feature and prevented incidents interfering with the revels,
In the Upper Dining Hall the cats were busy around the jazz band and when the Jive Competition began i t was really something to see (some of the men were good too! 1
CABARET
Every Carnival has a cabaret, of oourse. A Carnival Cabaret may be defined as follows: "A piece of entertainment which worries the l i f e out of i t s producer, scares the l i f e out of those taking part, and i s shouted down by the audi enow an the night*- unless you-take special precautions. This cabaret had two special features - talent and Mike Newaon. This i s not to say, of oourse, that Mr. News on i s not talented - who doubts this?, but he made a spectacular Master of Ceremonies i n a genuine "Treasure Island* type outfit, whioh looked much better when he played the clarinet; so natural did he look that one f e l t that a l l pirates must have played clarinets as a matter of course - and he could handle the audience.
The other and more striking feature of this entertainment was the talent. Derek Bayliss, the producer, had drawn widely i n Guilds for both cast and material, with 'the result that he managed to produce something very l i k e a short review.
Ignoring some loutish R.C.S. interruptions, i t i s safe to say that there were no spontaneous outbursts from the audience - they listened to the cabaret, and enjoyed listening, which i s a great tribute to i t s producer and his oast.
As to the material provided for our entertainment - there ware two, and only two, weak spots; f i r s t l y the â&#x20AC;˘Dreadful Night" sketch whioh, waa so old that the audience spoilt i t by supplying the punch line and secondly a rather curious Quatermass sketch (?) - this appeared to puzzle those taking part as much as the audience, so everyone f e l t at home. One oan only wish that the end-product of a l l our am experiments could be as interesting, a l l the same.
Personally speaking, I would vote as the best sketch that i n which a very polished (and slightly slimy?) Guildsman, armed only with his charm and a telephone, persuaded a rather blase young lady to come to the carnival in pyjamas: "to save time" he explained. Derek Bayliss avoided that bugbear of the cabaret producer - a f l a t last sketch - by providing a very original version of an Irving Berlin song. This also served to f i l l the stage with Guildsmen and these, led by their President - Dava Clark gave the audienoe a rousing Boomalaka as a f i n a l offering.
FOOD The writer would l i k e to make a personal plea for better arrangements of the food i n future - i t waa vary d i f f i c u l t for anyone not i n the front line to get as much as a smell of a s-udwioh - smaller tables and a mora open arrangement of the existing tables would have been better - also, somewhere to s i t would have been appreciated on the other hand, maybe I'm just getting old and less pushfull. Remarks about other carnival cabarets are invideous - they are not intended as major works of art - but to be enjoyed at the moment they are given and no longer.
An example of the excellent f l a t s *
FEUX
*LTT. &
THROUGH A VJSirOJiS EYES
3
DBR*
MOTION
Whan a foreign student arrives at the University of London, he i s immediately struck by i t s international character. This character probably varies according to the College, bat at the L.S.E.,.. for example, where I have spent one ten*, students of the Commonwealth rub shoulders with those from the Continent and the oountrj.es of Latin-America, to mention only a few. Here, there i s a source of very worth-while contacts, which the English students themselves must find profitable.
"That this House should ba adjourned indefinitely.*
Last Thursday the House had the pleasure of an excellent speech (a maiden) from that hoary old batchelar Dave Jackson. Proposing the motion, he said: " I f this House adjourned, where would i t adjourn to? To the pub) to drink beer." Whereupon he produced three bottles of beer: one far the chairman, one far his seconder, Peter Jarnan, and one which he kept for himself. "I have something for the opposition as well," he said, and duly presented them with two bottles of pineapple juice.
Strikingly opposed to this Cosmopolitan atmosphere i s the narrow community of the College, which i s In the framework of student l i f e . the Continental University, social contacts between the faculties are reduced to a minimum, particularly i n the large towns - the students scarcely know their professors, or each other. The English solidarity, way of thinking, and even form of everyday l i f e exist only i n the specialised schools, such as the. Polyteohnique, Centrals or the Hautes Etudes Conaerciales.
Mr. Christopher May, opposing the notion, oarofully analysed the word indefinitely. Mr. Peter Jarman, on the other hand, subtely twisted the motion with a most outrageous piece of verbal Jiggery-pokery. This he supported with a somewhat tortuous argument, apparently involving the death of George II from overstraining i n a Water Closet.
In England, on the contrary, the social activities of the College are considerable. The students are gouped i n extremely diversified societies, whether they be re£*gi«os p o l i t i c a l , geographical or athletic this custom of, societies i s certainly very f r u i t f u l , for i t allows apaoplat to group themselves according to their tastes,-and develops the information as well as mutual understanding. Debates followed by a vote on the motion are also a typical institution which has the same end, and which has at the same time the advantage of being an apprenticeship for p o l i t i c a l l i f e !
In view of Mr. Jarman'• dreadful i l l o g i c a l i t y , Bob Finch, who was also responsible f a r this utterly unbiased report, had to light the gleaming beacon of truth, i n a brilliant(and modest)oration.
In his third summing up Mr. Jarman f i n a l l y succeeded i n extinguishing Mr. Finch's beacon of trhth, by employing unlimited numbers of water closets and by declaring that +>»~»»r meant that the House would meet again frequently. In view of this interpretation of the action, and because i t was carried, the Debates Committee graciously accepts the verdict of the House, and is spurred on to even greater enterprises.
In France, the societies of the Faculties have only a small influence, and very weak means of action: they prefer to form p o l i t i c a l syndicates, from which heated disputes between the different opinions emerge - and this perhaps may be considered as another type of i n i t i a t i o n int- p o l i t i c s . This intense social activity i s the English University i s even more remarkable as the Colleges there are less specialised than the Ccjxti&antaJ. ones: the l a t t e r base only aUtojforw- «f sub jeers ^e.g. arts, leaf, OrTkalcine e t c ) But at the L.S.E., for instance, the diversity of the syllabuses" i s astonishing, and ranges from psychology to f i s c a l law with more than 600 regular courses. After a b r i e f stay,•I oan hardly judge English teaching: my impression, however, i s that i t i s quite practical, even pragaatie, and very complete and thorough.
Is connection with these enterprises the President of Debates wishes, to deny rumours that he has been engaged. upon twisting the arms of Messrs. Kasslezj and Clark. He would like to point out, however, -that the two presidents have agreed to speak upon the motion: "That this House prefers Thermometers to Spanners," later this month. BOB FINCH, President of Debates.
W I N T E R J O U R N E Y \ ° by Q\ffor<L 0<Ufs \
TUESDAY
24*
FEB
"Of oourse I l i k e my chicken young, plump and tender, but this one lays eggs." REPLT: This i s only natural and there i s no cause for anxiety. I f you send me a 5/- postal order and a stamped addressed envelope, I w i l l send you i n return a booklet advising you. Tet another male student i a worried, "She said yes, what shall I do now." Move into the Hostel.
There also seems to be some disturbances i n the minds of the women at I.C. One young lady states, "I'm worried about Jim. You'll never guess what ha's been doing, I suppose i t ' s just what other boys do but then I haven't really met a l l that many you see, that i s since I met Jim, He's ever so nice really, not as what you'd c a l l handsome or anything l i k e that but Just so attractive, you know what I mean. Well I mean to say, whan I'm Jrith ,h1a i t ' s .ectaay,, I a l ways feel I'm actually walking on a i r , quite makes me forget my high heeled shoes have stretched. Anyway as I was saying before I started to talk about Jim, oan't help i t though, ay friends are just the same about their boyfriends, though they're ever so jealous of me, going out with Jim I mean, I'm worried. You see i t ' s l i k e this, at f i r s t i t was ever so soft, but now i t almost wakes the neighbours, because Jim who hardly •war raises his voice, keeps culling out i n his sleep. Not that I mean ha swears, Jim's quite curteous i s his own way. Oh no, he shouts out this woman's name, I know what you're thinking, but i t ' s not that, I know because he's for ever t a i l i n g me I'm But I the only woman i n his l i f e . do feel there must be some kind of explanation, don't you.
GONCHKT H A L L <*73WLl -
In judiciary and p o l i t i c a l economics, I can say that the contact was carefully maintained between the a c t i vity and the corresponding social milieus this i s certainly a f r u i t f u l method. Bnfin, l a s t but not least, the foreign student always finds a supplementary attraction i n the generous and cordial welcome which his London friends keep for him. J-J. HOUSTON
Meedie
There was a very poor.response to the offer of psychi•+rio treatment and advice given by ' • • l l u l k . It seems that the students at I.C. are on the whole content with their characters and have only very minor problems. WaTlwlk has kindly consented to help the anxious ones i n this column but sas regrets that ah* i s unable to enter into any further correspondence.
REPLT:
(embers of tSf House aAla Sua demonstrated that they could only speak on a serious motion.
The students' association benefit from the support and collaboration of nearly a l l the students: they have at their disposal important material means, which i n the case of soicntifio college such as I.C. may be very sizeable.
CJUo-potuCd
FNTRANCE
FREE A
Rehearsed
f&wng
ev
i.c.p.s.
REPLT: Tea ay dear, I do so agree with you. As you might have found, ass oan be so d i f f i c u l t i a their actions and thoughts. Some of the things they do are quite inoxplainable in our minds, and often lead to much heartburn and anxiety. This i s mainl y due to their large interest i n their own person, and their failure to take I a small interest i n other people. am afraid, though that beyond this, I am unable to give you an explanation about your situation because, ay dear you have omitted to t e l l as the wa«. aan's nam*.
4
Ji'd waxth knowing Circola tksn 15OO
Those who enjoyed the L.C. production last sera of the adaptation by Miles Mallascn of the "Miser" may be interested i n a double-bill of Moliere's plays which he has also adapted, and. which opened at the Old Tie last Wednesday: these are TARTUFFE and SGAHARELLB, i n the anas style as the Miser and star Malleson himself with Pauline Jameson and Derek Francis.
EDITOR M.R.HONrTR.
IMPERIAL
COLLEGE
Edittvdat Comment I an shocked, but perhaps not so surprised, that members of this College oan pour out gallons of ink of v i t r i o l i c strength over another publication's alleged misdemeanours, but when i t comes to a serious issue - and I am thinking of the N.U.S, questions, for example, they are silent. This reflects what has been termed "the infantile mentality* jf scientists, when there i s someone to hound or jibe, the College ( or i t s noisier elements) i s happy, but whan there i s an important issue for serious consideration, i t i s lost, simply because there i s a eer'oas lack of grey matter One or two of the letters I receive would never get into "The Children's Newspaper" - l e t alone this publication, which i s supposed to reflect the views of an important, adult section of the population. By a l l means write to "Felix" - a i r you views and grouses, but remember that yoa are i n a priviledged position as University students - Just show that you are worth I t . At the last meeting of the Refectory Committee:, the question of queues i n the various eating establishments around this College was raised. I t was surpr i s i n g and heartening, to see the amount of effort and though that i s expended to deal with this problem. The idea of "staggering* lecture times near the lunch hour was proposed and, while this might wall ease the situation on three days a weak, during the long General Studies lunch-hour, this w i l l have no rea l affect. Mr. Mooney proposes to out down the choice of dishes, with a view to speeding up service - a rather unfortunate method, but i f i t works, perhaps some people may think i t worth i t . Whatever the cure, oan anyone but agree, that i t i s uncivilised to s i t eating while others hover around you, eagerly waiting for you to vacate your seat? Regular readers of this publication may notice that Nelson i s not with us any more. This i s due to the attitude of soas College people who try and oonvinae us and themselves that they are above being mentioned i n a "rag l i k e Felix*. They not only misunderstand Kelson's Column, baa also misunderstand Collage l i f e . What goes on at Collage i s never private; Nelson, by tradition was not a auakrakar, but a ooanaatafter on some of the more aanslng aspects of the union. I t i s a pity that retrlbut ion should have fallen so heavily on tot shoulders. It i s rumoured that the Photographic Editor i s being driven mad (and threatens to resign). It i s also rumoured, this time from a reliable source, that this i s due to his roar (No.50 Old Hostel) being cluttered up by uncollected orders and handbags.It would be greatly appreciated i f both ware removed as soon as possible and prevent the suicide rate at I.C. going ap.
There i s a spate of plays i n London at the moment dealing with the seamier side of l i f e i n New York, Paris, London and other well-known oentres of viae: but i n A TASTE OF HONEY - which opened at Wyndhaa's Theatre last Tuesday, the spotlight i s turned on Salford, Lanes., and this proves equally revealing. This show has been running successfully at the Theatre Royal, Stratford, E.
For c^ra-goers,^Dvoraks RUSSALKAta being produced forftie^firat time this season at the Sadler's Wells Theatre next Wednesday, and w i l l have a&total of four performances this month.
At the R.F.H. on March 2nd. i s a jazz concert with Johnny DankwortK and Humphrey Lyttleton: soloists are to be announced later.
This year the Shakespeare Kumi l a l Theatre i s oelebrating i t s 100th. anniversary, and i t s repertoire, beginning
on April 7th. w i l l include OTHEELO, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM, CORIOIANUS and KING LEAR. Among the company are Dame Edith Evans, S i r Laurence Olivier, Charles Laughton, Mary Ure and Sam Wanamaker.
The box-office i s now open for the v i s i t of the Coaedie Francais* to the Princes Theatre on March 16th., where incidentally the D'fiyly Carte Opera Company i s playing Gilbert and Sullivan operas until then. The v i s i t opens with Feydeaus Le DINDON, which is fallowed by Moliere's LBS FEMMBS SAVANTES and LES FOURBIERBS DE SCAPBC.
Shows finishing shortly include THE TUNNEL OF LOVE with Brian Reece at the Appollo, which finishes tomorrow; BROUHAHA, starring Peter Sellers, at the Aldwyoh which finishes the week after next; HOLIDAY ON ICE at the Empire Fool, also tomorrow,and WHERE'S CHARLEY? with Norman Wisdom at the Palace Theatre, which closes next weekend.
Turning to Silas, Ingmar Bergman's WILD STRAWBERRIES, mentioned i n this column last term, i s being withdrawn from "the Academy Cinema next Thursday, and i s being replaced by Jean Reniar'e LA..GRAHDE ILLUSION, starring Jean Gab in, Pierre Fresnay and Eric von Stroheim (a formidable oastl) With this w i l l be shown MARCH TO ALDERMASTCS.
VIP
GEOFF BPATT
Next week U.L.U. will be a Very International Place, there i s going to be an International Festival- from Thursday until Saturday (Feb. 18th 20th).
Geoff Bratt, who w i l l lead the I.p. expedition to the Apolobambo range of the South American Andes this summer, is f i l l i n g i n the time between handing in his Ph.D. thesis last October and sailing for Peru i n next June by exploring with Eric Shipton i n Patagonia. Writing from the expedition'' s base on the.shoraas of Lake argentine- on Christmas Day'he rhapsodises over the glaciers and icebergs on the lake, but says that because the r e l i e f ship has not arrived there w i l l be no goodies for Christmas dinner and celebrations w i l l have to be limited to drinking gin, which fortunately i s plentiful.
Jean Cranston, U.L.U. Vice President, has taken over the organisation of the V.I.F. this year. When I last met Jean she was f u l l of ideas, which, i f executed, should make this Festival the best ever!
There are going to be stands r e presenting many of the countries from which London University Students come. Here i s the chance to learn about other Students from abroad who are keen to talk about their homelands.
The International Concert was so popular last year that there are to be two performances next week. On Saturday evening the Dance, with i t s Cabaret, i s planned as the nliasT to the Festival.
I f you are a foreign Student yourself, why not go along 'to the V.I.P. and see i f your own country i s represented truly.
Anyone going to U.L.U. next snek w i l l not be-able to anas the T i l . P . so why don't you go along especially for the Festival. RADFORD. Han. Sao. I.C. International Relations Club.
The Imperial College of Science and Technology has appointed Miss Sylvia Crowe, President of the Institute of Landscape Architects, as landscape consultant i n connection with the development of the College's central site i n South Kensington.
FEUX
W A N T E D
ON AHy TEAMS
MAC Dear S i r ,
BLEEDING HEART Dear S i r ,
I oannot under st and,those who condemn The Phoenix merely because articles are written for i t by the few people with any literary ability. The fact whioh i s overlooked i s that one of the functions of the Phoenix i s to act as an outlet for the creative talents of members of the Union. I f only a few show any sign of possessing any creative talents are they to be blamed for doing so?
I feel that many of the grumblers are just jealous of the Phoenix Board. Those people who oannot even write decent English are harbouring a childish resentment towards those who can, and do, write good literature (doea the cap f i t , Mr. Bramley?) They even go so far as to demand an Editorial which does not reflect any character on the part of the Editor. Let's go the whole hog and have one of Prof. Gabor's computers editing Phoenix!
But you yourself, s i r , have dropped the brick of the year by printing that rubbishy cartoon by "Mao" ( i s he ashamed to reveal his identity?) i n the same issue as an accusation of "bad taste" against The Phoenix. There i s a saying about a pot and a kettle.... Tours faithfully, ANTHONY b BROOKES.
Editor's comment: Sir, i f I could always get such talented work as Mao has given me for the last few issues, I would have no d i f f i c u l t y i n f i l l i n g these columns. The Phoenix people, in particular David Irving were very much i n favour of that cartoon, and wished that Mao had done i t for them . 1 would l i k e to point out that my position demands that I remain neutral, by presenting views from a l l angles. I do feel, howveer, that more than s u f f i c ient Space has been given to the Phoenix problem and a l l correspondence on this topic i s closed. There i s also a annotation about "A tale told by an idiot".
Since you have not yet (for shame) instituted a "personal column" in your publication, I must make use of your correspondence space to pour out my heart's misery to a third person. .If, therefore, this epistle mystifies you, pray comfort yourself that there w i l l be, among your readers, one f a i r soul to whom my meaning will' be as clear as the light of day. While providing an additional activity for the student, whose naturally inquisitive mind delights i n the dark mysteries of her friends private lives. Let me explain: I, too, am preoccupied with mystery, and, alas, with irony. Imagine, i f you w i l l , the strange excitement of a succession of disturbing encounters with an angelic apparition. To say that she was attractive would be commonplace, rather she wore about her that aura of subtle magnetism that i s at once vivacious and demure, that rare amalgam of mature wickedness and virginal innocence. Wherever I went she haunted me: the sudden direct look from those sparkl i n g eyes that flashed across the crowded lounge, the secretive half smile that touched the generous mouth, on the taut silent journey i n the l i f t . Who was she, my mystery g i r l ? I could bear the strain no longer, I had to know her identity. I dared to ask, and the spell was broken, the dream a memory. Try as I might to recapture the f i r s t magical t h r i l l , i t remained elusive. The encounters ceased. I was lost and alone in a crowd of "insensitive louts* Yet, even into the abyss of despair there came, light (was i t the quality of mercy that follows contrition?) In a trembling flash of Paradise, she appeared before me, (no, i n truth, i t was behind me) and through"! the thunder i n my ears, the dulcet sweet tones i n tender inquiry: "What i s your Wallulk rating?" Avidly, I thumbed my Felix, In perplexity. I permutated points against descriptions, questions against points. How risque i s a risque story? Why do my omelettes always-finish up as scrambled egg? Oh, how I cursed those protestations o f eternal bachelorhood. Surely i t was possible to be unutterably charming without being unbearably conceited. I t was no good, I should haveto seek advice, sympathy, understanding. Find out who Cleopatra was and put the problem i n her hands, that was the answer. I t was not easy - for she dung to her cloak of anonymity, but determination brought success. I found her, and i n an instant my problem was solved. L i t t l e wonder at the elusive attraction, the fatal charm of my my3teiy g i r l , for she was a practised witch: under "her spell had fallen a Caesar, and a Mark Anthony and, of course as you know, s i r , a Felix. Incurable Romantic.
A reward l a o f f e r e d for information leading to the arrest of Eddy Current, charged with the induction of an eighteen-year-old c o i l , called MillA Henry, found half choked, and with the theft of valuable joules. This unreotified criminal, armed with a oarbon rod, escaped from Weston Primary c e l l , where he had been clapped i n ions. The escape was planned i n three phases. F i r s t he fused the electrolytes; he then dim Dad through a grid, despite the impedance of the warders, and f i n a l l y ran to earth i n a nearby magnetic f i e l d . He has been missing since Faraday. Watt seems most l i k e l y i s that he stole an A.C. motor. This i s of a low capacity and he i s expeoted to change i t for a megacycle and to return ohm by a short circuit , he may offer series resistance, and i s a potential killer. M. F. BARRON Aero. I
UNLIKELY
STORIES
KRIBBER There was once a kitten called Fred. I t was called Fred because i t s father's name was John and i t was a g i r l kitten anyhow. Fred was unhappy 'cos she had no letters after her name, so one day she went out to collect some. The policeman was very sympathetic but charged her a l l the same 'cos he missed the B.C. from his collar. The judge Q.C. was not impressed when he found W.C. missing from behind the CO. so he sentenced her to a course at I.C. where she could be educated. But I.C. only trained Scientists and so i t was not surprising that she took the M.C. from However, this M.C. was a U.C. Hop. U.C. and he took away to Peweey where she died of cronary thrombsis.
Summer
p h o enix
The Summer edition of your magazine THE PHOENIX w i l l be published i n the f i r s t week of the Summer Term. Copy date for this edition w i l l be the l a s t day of this term, therefore; after that date no material can on principle be accepted. Students who have ideas for short stories, articles, poems, photographs etc., are invited to gat i n touch with the Editor, v i a the Union Rack, and he w i l l be pleased to discuss them.
RT. HON.
JOHN BOYD-CARPENTER
LOST PROPERTY
Minister of Pensions A new Musical Play, by ALAN & AVRIL LEWIS, w i l l be presented by the Dramatic Society on 28th., 29th., and 50th APRIL i n the Union Concert Hall.
MRS. BCBB has asked the Editor of F e l i x t o publicise the fact that she has umpteen items of lost property i n her Union Office. These include, she Informs me - scarves, gloves, compacts, lipsticks purses, eto. Perhaps somethinchbelonging to you is i s waiting there, why not go along and see?.
t National
Insurance
WILL GIVE A TALK ON THURSDAY, FEB. 19th. at i.30P.M. IN GUILDS, ROOM 15.
FEUX
SlG RIDES AGAIN
*
Coming. Event*
JAZZ CLUB
At the beginning of this term the Jazz Club found i t s e l f without a President, a sad thing as this meant that i t had lost a certain Mr. Dennis The amount of work which Mr ^* Leston. Leston put into the Club was probably not f u l l y appreciated, but his interest, M enthusiasm and leadership sparked off The Chinese contribution to culture, I an upward trend i n club affairs whioh has continued steadily ever since. whioh I skimmed over last week i s l i t t l e known to the Western .mind. To the West, the greatness of China i a measured by the fame of her dynasties ; Thus, me This term has shown continued have the majestio Tang, the powerful success. The good audiences at ThursKing and the intolerable Pong. day record recitals show that there is a large number of people i n the College who are seriously interested i n jazz. This Pong, which spread wherever Apart from these, many people, who have the Trade Winds blew, struck terror into only a l i t t l e interest i n the music, the hearts of mediaeval sanitary inspecthave been seen to know what the club is doing. As usual groups are i n ors from Bankok to Mandalay. great demand far Saturday night hops. The well-known Chinese idiot, Lo Slung once made the very wise remark: "There i s a ohink i n every Chinaman's armour". This i s true, of oourse, but there i s a brighter side, as the monkey said when he looked i n the mirror.
I wish to refer to this period i n particular, for i t i s at this time that gravity was invented by the wise and nauseating Emperor Wun Long Fling. He wished to do a kindly act every day, although the best thing he could have done, he refused to do on the grounds that i t was too painful.
Eventually he ran out of ideas - at least on some subjects and called a l l the wise men of china (and of glass) to come and make public postulations before him. Those that refused, and some did so, mainly on hygienic grounds, he treated meroifully, which was a dreadful way to die. Eventually, this same Lo Slung of whom I have before spoken, came before His Most Munificent Majesty and decided that he liked chop suey too much to give up easily. "Postulate" said HMMM. After a slight pause, Lo said:"Consider worms, sire" "Warms?" "Worms" "Hum" said HMMM. "Proceed" (He did'nt get i t either) "Well, you think of a worm travelling happily through the s o i l , suppose the poor creature, who thinks that he i s travelling i n the direction of UP, i s in fact travelling i n the Direction of Down. Eventually, of course, the poor animal w i l l go mad. I f you wish to be a real M.M, surely you could do some thing for the poor things."
And so the Emperor issued an ediot abolishing gravity. When they had a l l come down off the ceiling, and Lo Slung was beginning to feel a b i t out up, the entire court found themselves up to the knees i n worms, a l l proceeding i n the general direction of Up. This problem became too annoying, and to r i d himself of the Annelid Aggrevators, the Emperor?Âťras forced to c a l l out the 4th,Imperial Anti-worm Regiment of Boot. See next issue
E N G I N E E R S &
D I N N E R
Monday. February l6thÂť I.e. Christian Union :"True Greatness" 1.15 pjew i n R.S.M. Tuesday. February 17th. General Studies: "The Poet at Work" Cecil Day Lewis. N.H.S. "Wild L i f e i n E. Africa", with film, by Dr. J.C.F. Hopkins, Director, CM. I. Advance notiee i s given of N.H.S. Annual Dinner on March 4th. Wednesday. February 18 th. 1,0. Railway Soo. v i s i t to C i v i l Engineering work on the Dover Line.
Thursday February 19th. Talks given so far this term have been under the t i t l e s of 'O.D.J.B. to M.J.Q.' (Tony Brookes), 'HardBee', (Richard Rushton), and 'Listening to Modem Jazz' (Stan Salmons). A Bringyour-own-raoards type of programme produced a wide range of music and Talks in line was well attended. for future meetings include 'Count Basis' by Dave H i l l s , 'Dave Brubeok by Stan Salmons, and possibly 'Louis Armstrong' by Gordon Pritohard. A lunch hour concert w i l l be produced later this term.
General Studies: Modern Forms of Abstract Painting, by Basil Taylor. Lamarck: by Prof. H.G. Cannon, M.A. D.Sc F.R.S. International Relations Club: "I.C. Expedition to Ghana" - Snack Bar, 7p.m. Monday. February 23rdw
1
This term has unfortunately seen the decline of the 'Trad band', (due mainly to lack of interest on the part of certain members), but the small modern and mainstream groups are s t i l l very active. Modern trios and quartets have been providing music for quiet listening and dancing at the hops and as usual a small group of dedicated jazzmen played their way through Guilds Carnival u n t i l 6.00 i n the morning.
A mainstream group under the leadership of Tony Newstead has been entered for the W.U.S. Jazz Band Competition organised by N.E.C. After the preliminary judging the bandsmen have mixed ideas about their chances of reaching the f i n a l ; anyone with an interest i n jazz and an ear for good musicianship would have no doubts about giving the band a place i n the f i n a l , but the views and standards of the judging panel were so pathetioally naive as to be almost unbelieveable. However, i f the band does reach the final (whioh i s being judged by Ken Colyer (!) on the 25th of this month) then i t i s hoped that a large number of supporters w i l l also be able to make the t r i p to N.E.C.
I,C. Christian Union; "Sincerity" by Rev. Bruce Reed., M.A. 1.15 i n R.S.M. Tuesday February 24th. General Studies: "The psychology of Race Prejudice, No. 1 The Authoritarian Personality", by Prof. Marie Jahoda, Ph.ft. "Some questions Religions face" by Rev. Cleverley Ford. "The enjoyment - of Music" by A. Hopkins. I.C. Railway Soov Talk by H.M. Le Fleming on "Malayan Xailways. Thursday. February 26th. General Studies: Talk by Major Henry Sherek (theatrical Manager) . "Some answers Religions offer" by Rev. Cleverley Ford. Science Films i n Cham. Lee. Theatre: "Steel" and "Ganovoe Discovery".
Friday February 27th. S.C.M. and Churoh Soo. "The churoh in New Towns", by Ian Russell. Room 127, C&G, 1.10 p.m.
Meanwhile anyone who i s interested in jazz music of any type, i s i n vited to come along to our lunch-time meeting i n Room 208 of Guilds (second floor).
D A N C E EDITOR'S NOTE
ZCT-
F E B R U A R Y
The above report was written by Gordon Pritohard. It i s typical that he omitted to mention that i n fact he has been elected as sucoessor to Dennis Leston (at least, as far as jazz i s concerned). Gordon i s a very wellknown figure around I.C. and where there is Jazz, he i s never far away The success of jazz i n this College i s due i n no small way to the consistent high standard of drumming which provides the background to the hops, jazz concerts and carnivals and r e c i tals around I.C.
A photograph of Gordon Pritchard, f ,C.'s new Jazz President,' showing him really at home - behind his drum k i t .
FEUX
SQUASH
BASKET BALL
The highlight of the Squash Club's year hss been the f i r s t team tour during the last weekend of January. A streamlined programme was planned, playing Manchester university on the Thursday, Queens University Belfast an Saturday and Dublin university on the Monday. The team consisted of C.R. Evans, B.W.E. Avient, P.M. Ode 11, H.R. Espig and R. Lloyd. The programme was extremely ambitious and a l l three teams were known to be strong, but i t was considered j u s t i f ied since the team waa unbeaten daringthe Christmas Term.
Despite the fact that i t was so soon after Christmas, Imperial College retained l i t t l e of "Goodwill towards men" when handi ng out a severe thrashing to Northern Polytechnic Never troubled i n any aspect of play the College, i n f u l l oommand, piled up a good lead. (H.T. 30-10) In the second half, due to an injury sustained by D. Packer (who attended hospital for treatment), the College team was reduced to four players but s t i l l continued to over power the opposition f i n a l l y winning by 60 points 34 points (J. Fryer scored 26 points) to clock up the f i r s t win of 1959.
BOXING In the U.L.U. Championships on Thuraday, 29th January, 1.0. (13 pta.) were runners-up to Guy's Hospital (15 pta. ) i n the Blott Gup. I.C. eon, P. Sribibadah and H.L. Kirpalani, boxed well to win the f l y and featherweight t i t l e s respectively. At light-welter both I.C. representatives were outpointed by D. Tayloi (St. Thomas' Hospital); D . Whitely i n a semi-final and G. Yorke ± the f i n a l . a
0. Maltby was beaten i n the l i g h t middleweight f i n a l , and P. Vine lost narrowly on points i n a light-heavyweighl eliminator bout. A match against Guy's Hospital was held on Friday, 6th February i n the I.C.I Gymnasium, resulting i n a draw (3 bouts each). Kirplani outpointed M. Reeve (Guy' a) at»featherweight, and Yorke stopped E. Chater i n the f i r s t round of a l i g h t weight bout. Welterweights D . Faulkner and L. Williams lost on points after courageous displays. Faulkner often hurt the experienced P. Leopard with fine l e f t hooks but had no punch to follow. Williams could not keep away a stronger, and considerably heavier, opponent, but used M s straijtit l e f t intelligently. At middle-weight T. Banks could not land his hard right effectively against a s k i l f u l opponent, and the referee stopped the bout (3rd round) because Banks was too tired to continue. However P. Vine, I.<j. lightheavy, bemad strongly and oooly to outpoint his opponent and square tne match.
SAILING Graham Taylor continued his run of successes on Sunday, 8th. by talcing 2nd. place i n the eigth race of the Univerait. Winter Points Series. With only two rao» remaining he stands a good ehanoe of win' ning the competition. In the return match against a strong Queen Mary College team, I.C. gained a convincing win by 485 - 33 pta. This despite an unfortunate capsize i n the second race b y Jamosz Wilgynski.
7
In fact a l l three matches were lost to superior opposition, including several county standard players. Outstanding performances were those of Odell who won i n both Belfast and Dublin, and Evans who lost narxotty to the Ulster No.2 i n Belfast. The tour was a great suooess socially and a particularly pleasant evening was spent i n Belfast, the Capt. performing an amazing feat of prestidigitation before a large student audienoe and the Secretary H " E a collection "for the clown*. The pilgrimage to the country of the Guinness and the "Lord S t i f f " waa also greatly enjoyed by a l l and on the evening after the last match the two teams managed to consume over seven gallons i n two hours before the last mad rush for the boat train to Holyhead. The experience gained on the tour has since proved invaluable, and the 1st. v" remains unbeaten against London aides and also against Oxford and Cambridge. The closest matches so far this term have been gainst a strong Middlesex Hospital side and Kabie Co_lege, Oxford, who included an Oxford 2nd. team player. Both these matches were won 3:2* The second team i s greatly improved this term and i s s e t t l i n g down into a strong combination. RESULTS: 1»t. V. Jan 13. 15. 21. 31. Feb. 3. 7.
University Coll . Middlesex Hosp. Queens Cambridge Keble, Oxford S.O.A.S. St. Cath. Camb.
A
C.E.M. Ibis U.C.H. Middlesex Hosp.
(A) (H) (k) (h)
won 5-0 A won 3-2 I won 4-1 H won 3-2 H won 5-0 A won 3-0
The following week scheduled to play Goldsmiths' College, the game was regarded as a mere formality (having beaten them with both 1 st and 2nd teams last year). Our impressions were aorne, for never extended Imperial won by 51 points - 34 points. One of last year'a olosest league games was against the London School of Eoomomios. The return was not as good, although Parker celebrated his return to the team with a cultured 15 points. So far this season the battle for leading points scorer has developed into a personal duel between the Captain J. Fryer and the Coach - M. Barron. (Both totals being around the 200 mark). Although newcomers to the f i r s t team'D. Parker and D. Wiekenden have settled i n well, and A . Hind (at right guard) i n spite of not being a prol i f i c scorer has proved the staltwart of the defence.
ICWSC In the last fortnight, many C o l l eges have been forced to cancel matches against I.C.W.S.C. teams. Of the matches played none have been l o s t . The swimming team drew i n their match against Goldsmiths, challengers for the top place i n the League. The squash team repeated their vie tory of last term over Q.E.C,winning by 3 aathoes to two. Under extreme oonthe Hookey team scored their second victory of the year by beating BirHbeck 3 0
2nd. V Results
1st. Race.
1. G. C. Taylor (IC) 2. J . Wilaynski (IC) 3. O.J. French (IC)
2nd. Race 1. S.C.Taylor 2. C.J. French 3. Q.««0«
Jan 12. 15. 20. 27.
won 4-1 won 5-0 won 4-4 won 3-2
FENCING THE 1 st. XI
There have been the usual cancellations i n our fixture l i s t so that the match with L.S.E. on Friday 6th February was our f i r s t this term. This was a closely fought match with most of the bouts going to assault points and i t resulted i n a f a i r draw, I.C. 9, L.S.E. 9. The detailed results were:Foil
I.C.4
Won 3 1. J . Niokolls 2. D. S. Turner 1 Craig 0 3. M.
L.S.E.5. Lost 0 2 3
HOCKEY TEAM ARE
NOW
D30KING FOR A NEW GAME I
The members who went to Delft were entertained to Dinner i n Hall an 27th. January, by Mis* Sherwood, Mrs. Robb and Mrs. Linstead. The Sector, congratulating them on their success, propose*the toast of "Victorious Women" - t o whioh the men present refused to drink.
TABLE TENNIS
BOXING
IC. R E A C H UL. F I N A L T H E
R E C T O R S
C U P
G U I L D S v M I N E S v R C S
Sabre
1.0. 5 Won Lost 1. B. Reeley 3 0 2. J . Niokolls 1 2 1 2 3. D. S. Turner
Three members of I.C.W.S.C. were in the mixed badminton team, whioh beat Northern Polytechnic by 7 matches to 2.
( T H U R S D A Y
19 "" 7
F E B R U A R Y
I.C. had an unexpected win when they played Woolwich Poly i n the semi f i n a l of the U.L. Cup. Woolwich, the strangest team i n the university, have won the Cup for the last seven years. Dad. P h i l l i p s played magnifi cently toVwin a l l his matches, Chick Evans winniaa one match and three -walk overs. 5he f i n a l score was 6-4* I.C. meet Q.M.C. i n 'the f i n a l whioh w i l l take place at U.L.U., the date so far VT^'"'—S
8
•mix
SWIMMING
• W H t
Last Friday, I.C. entertained Oxford Dolphins, and after a close match, I.C. won 37-27, winning the f i n a l two relays. In an exalting polo eaten afterward*, I.C. ware held to a 5-5 draw.
EDITED BY K.W. LUDLAM.
SKI CLUB
In the swimming, I.C. ware well served by their University t r i o of Harford, Loveaan, and Shorey, who won an event apiece, but their record strives ware unfortunately not Salt* as good as Oxford's and so despite individual wins by the above three, I.C. were only leading by 2 points when the f i n a l two relays came to be Here, however, contrary to decided. expectations, the superior fitness of the I.C. team showed i t s e l f , and they took both relays to win the match comfortably. In the polo I.C., afteabeing 3 goals i n the rear at one stage, were fortunate to pull up, and draw 5-5. Basham, was I.C.'s best player, scoring a fine hat-trick.
•Yes, sir, i t ' s £12 wihtout Ski hire, Boot hire, Sleepers on the journeyj travel or accomodation. Then you w i l l find there are a few extras l i k e Ski S School " That was the Travel Agent. The next day I discovered we had a Ski Club of our own. The Imperial College Ski Club conducted a tour and I was welcome. I t catered for beginners, and trained then to be experts. Sounded good. Cheap too. An a l l inclusive price of £31 with a few extras l i k e .... Kitzbuhel was the queen of the Austrian resorts, we were told. The day arrived, Dec 21st., We played bridge on the train to Dover, were sea-sick on the boat, and the* made ourselves as comfort able "'as possible'an the bunks of the continental train. The next afternoon we arrived. I stepped off the train and promptly eat down. "Hey, you're not allowed to s k i here" someone yelled.
In the U.X. League the night before I.C. put up a pathetic display and were defeated by Kings by 7-2. This defeat practically ruined I.C.'s chance* of winning the League. However the seoond team had an easy 2-0 victory over Northern Polytechnic and are g r i s l y established i n 2nd place i n this division. The third teaa are also playing well, and at present have a clear lead at the top of Div. IV.
Having hired our equipment after a good meal, we set off "home". I t was a pension half a mile out of town. "Mot as bad as last year" said one of the senior members. Carrying- the skis was a nuisance. They refused to stay together, and dug holes i n your shoulder.
SOCCER
Putting them on was even worse. The instructor showed us how, but after putting on one, the other s l i d forward about 4 feet, just out of reach. Gingerly I stood up, put one foot forward and slipped. "Don't s i t down" shouted the instructor. S i t down, HaHa...i The ski was s t i l l out of reach.
On Saturday week the 1 s t teaa ease Its annual t r i p to Brighton and, far the f i r s t time, managed to show i t s supremacy over Varndean G.S. with a 4-1 win. Last Saturday at Barlington the 1 s t XI were very unlucky not to beat top of the League Westminster, but oaae away with a point i n a 2-2 draw. The goals were scared by centre forward Coups who has 27 to his name this season, but the honours i n this matoh go to a l l the tesa members who gave such a fine and spirited display. The League record so f a r : -
In the afternoon we went up the slope, stepping sideways to keep the skis parallel to the contour. Then we came whiszing down, a l l three feet of i t . We had at last learned how to ski. After school we went up the small l i f t . After a l l , l i t t l e kids of four and five were coming down. We got to the top and look ed down. The slope was axles long. And steep. We put the skis on our damaged shoulders and walked dean. After a week we were experts. We were going up' and down the l i f t s l i k e jetereni, , In fact i f we weren't perpetually covered i n anew, no <ne would have notioed the difference. There ware s t i l l frequent calls of "Don't s i t down" but we hardly noticed. The snow was soft, and f a l l i n g was almost a Godsend. I t meant three seconds of rest. Then i t happened. The greatest curse of them a l l . I t was tragedy i n the aiddle of the Austrian winter. I t r a i n ed. Overnight the show froze. The oen oentres of gravity were sore. Even the soft dunlopillo of the dive could not console them. The day we l e f t i t feasnowing. Great chunks of i t . Never mindl Maybe i t w i l l s t i l l be there next year, From S.K. Praaanik, Captain, Ski Club.
UL
SOCCER
FINAL-.
Published by F E L I X
P.
W.
D.
L.
G.F.
G.A.
Pte.
8
3
2
3
25
27
8
The 2nd and 3 r d XI'• playing very well on Saturday week beat N.E.C and L.S.TS. II 6-0 and 9-2, respectively, but the 3 r d H could not hold a strong Battersea team last Saturday and went under 2-0. On the same day, the 4th XI beat Institute of Education £-3 and the 5 t h XI beat Chelsea I I l a a very close game.
C R O S S
C O U N T S * .
The past fortnight has been a f a i r l y successful time for the Cross Country Club. Our f i r s t team has finished second i n two tough races while the seoond teaa has won three Batches, one of them by a huge margin. On January 31st the f i r s t team were running at Hayes against Metropolitan Police and a United Hospitals team. The Hospitals proved too strong for us, but we easily defeated the Police, the scores being Hospitals 43 points, I.C. 67 points, Police 135 points. The f i r s t I.C. runner was Jaeger i n 3 r d place, then came Bernard ( 5 ) , Brown ( 8 ) , Gilbert ( 1 0 ) , C l i f t o n (11) and Barber (13)". The following Saturday the f i r s t team were at Hempstead for the big •Hampstead Match" against 10 other teams. The result was an easy win for Oxford Tortoises (40 points) but I.C. took second place with 128 points, beating Southampton, Nottingham, Bristol Leicester, and a l l the London Colleges. John Collins ran extremely well to f i n i s h second, then came Larkum (13)» Briggs (19), Jaeger (24), Brown (25), and Clifton (45). The return to f i t n e s s of Dave Briggs i s v e r y welcome. On January 28th our second team went to Brentwood School, and just managed to win by 38 points,to 42. It i s probable that the winning margin would have been greater had not two of our runners gone off oourse. The race was won by M". Barber, who i s just starting racing again after an injury. A regrettable result of this race was that Paul Anton sustained an injury which may prevent him racing for the rest of the season.
The following Wednesday our seoond team defeated Bancroft's School, Mike Barber and Roger Landbeck took 1st and 3rd places respectively. The conditions on this course were atrocious; there was deep mud, frozen hard, yet greasy sad slippery on M i top.
Last Saturday the second team had i t s biggest win of the season, when Pearl Assurance were defeated by 12 points to 33. We had 8 men, Pearl had 4» and their 4 men occupied positions 3, 8, 10 and 12. The race was won by Warren, who was closely followed by Clare (2), Sandcs ( 4 ) , James ( 5 ) , Haynent (6) and Thomas(7).
H E L P REQUIRED "SUPPORT REQUIRED" On Saturday. February 21 at the College i s playing Kings (the holders for the past 3 seasons) i n the f i n a l of the U.L. Cup at Motspur Park. Coaches w i l l be leaving College at 1p.a. on this occasion and further details oan be found on the Union Notice Board. Also stand tickets can be obtained from Club o f f i c i a l s for a very small fee.
Kh. KINGS
MOTSPUR
B O A R D , Imperial College Onion, S.W.7
PARK
Please note: The 11th Annual Hyde Park Road Relay w i l l be held on Saturday, February 28th, starting at 3 p.m. at the West End of Rotten Row. We are expecting a record entry of than 50 teams. Volunteers are urgently required to help with the work which must be .'lone before, during, and after the race; please contact Dave Briggs or sign on C.C. notioeboard.
SATURDAY
FEBRUARY
Frintcd by W E S T L O N D O N O F F S E T C O . . 307a Telephone Place, W.14
2 1 *
T e L F U X 7969