NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION 6th FEBRUARY, 1973
" E E !
N o
327
.
TAKE
A LUTE
DING-A-LING SOUNDS
TO T H E
I've just come back f r o m one of the most
DES
enjoyable
concerts I've been to for some time. F u l l of good o l d r o c k and r o l l , w h i c h y o u can't get fed
up with
T h e R o c k i n g Devils d i d a fine j o b of w a r m i n g
" T A K E A L E T T E R T O T H E D E S " was quashed at Thursday's Union Meeting as the primary motivation and slogan for tomorrow's demonstration to the Department of Education and Science (DES) on South Bank organised by the I C U Grants Action Committee. A
the
5 PER IC
CENT
OF
GRADUATES
belief that letters sent to M P s or the D E S s h o u l d be
"Demand
grant"
as the
a l i v i ng
m a i n line of
demonstration.
of
falls
the
into
zonal
w i l l , however, be handed a will
assemble on the M e c h a n -
large
measure
of
sup-
Nagila",
the
5 % of I C students w h o graduated last s u m m e r were still unemployed
by mid-D ecember,
a c c o r d i n g to
the
for
1971-2. M o r e
students t h a n ever
are
into accountancy,
banking, actuarial
now
going
playing the guitar while kneeling on the g r o u n d . H a v ing been o n the p u b a n d c l u b c i r c u i t before, they were quite overcome by the hot reception they a n d continued long after
deservedly
they were due
to
B i l l H a l e y , E l v i s Pres-
A f t e r the interval C h u c k Berry's b a n d , consisting of
A n n u a l Report
of
"Howa
stage looked r i d i c u l o u s l y empty.
port f r o m I C students, a n d hundreds
" R u n a r o u n d S u e " and
done w o u l d have been to m o v e closer together, as the
hopes
that
as
ley, a n d E d d i e C o c h r a n e . O n e t h i n g they c o u l d have
UNEMPLOYED
re-
J o h n L a n e is expecting
in to the D E S .
Love",
finish w i t h more numbers f rom
the D E S
this
numbers
latter being played at the back of his neck. T h e y s i m u -
received,
STILL
striction.
Letters
T h e demonstration
Westminster:
t u r n i n g out such vintage
lated the part w e l l , even to the greased back h a i r and
on an unofficial and i n d i v i d u a l basis was c a r r i e d , leavslogan
audience,
up
" L e t s G o D o the H o p " , " L i t t l e D a r l i n g " , " T e e n a g e r in
m o t i o n submitted by Piers C o r b y n stating I C U ' s
ing the secondary
no
matter h o w m a n y times you've heard it before.
M i c k C l a r k e (guitar), G e o r g e F o r d (bass) and Dennis E l l i o t (drums) turned i n a very short set before they were joined by the m a n himself. A t his entrance everyone o n the floor rose to their feet, presumably
because
i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g concourse
you will
The
w o r k a n d the Stock E x c h a n g e : between 1965 a n d 1971
the people at the front w o u l d n ' t sit d o w n , and they
at 1.15 p.m. on
demonstration is exclusive
the percentage of students w i t h first degrees going into
wanted to see too.
to
" l e g a l , commerce and o t h e r s " categories of
day
Wednes-
7th (tomorrow)
and
turn
Imperial
out. College
—
m a r c h to South K e n s i n g -
T h a m e s Polytechnic had a
ton
s i m i l a r one last week sup-
underground
where
station,
participants
200
students.
intake in 1971 was o n l y 877, a n d the t o t a l n u m b e r of
from
students rose by only 0 . 6 % to 3,920, made u p of 2,472
B l a c k f r i a r s station to
organising seven
the
regional
demonstrations,
fCU
explained
w h i c h w i l l be i n L o n d o n .
that
T h i s w i l l be followed b y a
march
had
to
12.1% and
stration w i l l be on F e b r u -
place
"FELIX"
of the report is a d r o p i n
ary 21st, when the N U S is
D E S building. John Lane, to
finding
proper
friars. T h e m a r c h
President,
T h e other m a i n
applications for undergraduate courses of
a d r o p in anticipated admissions of nearly 8 % .
Black-
take
by
take
the
one
of
" N a t i o n a l D a y of A c t i o n "
this
(63%)
undergraduates and 1,448 (37%)
The
postgraduates.
T h i s year's estimated student total of 4,048 w o u l d i n d i succeeded
£114,000 over expenditure
in m a k i n g a surplus of of
£10,430,000 last
year,
route
o n M a r c h 14th, essentially
w h i c h w i l l be carried f o r w a r d i nto the new q u i n q u e n -
because of the limitations
a further series of d e m o n -
n i u m . T h e insured value of the b u i l d i n g s i n I C comes to
on marches w i t h i n a mile
strations.
somewhat
unusual
£50.5 m i l l i o n s — w i t h furniture and fittings, £66m.
" S c h o o l D a y s " , "Sweet L i t t l e
S i x t e e n " , " C a r o l " , a n d " M e m p h i s " w h i c h he d i d w i t h a l l his usual fire, p l a y i n g his guitar f r o m his waist, his h i p , h o r i z o n t a l , vertical and every other
conceivable
position w h i l e he h o p p e d a n d j u m p e d across the stage. " R e e l i n g and R o c k i n g " , his new single, has, T hear, been sent to M a r y Whitehouse with the hope she gets it banned a n d it emulates the same success as the song they followed
cate a rise of o n l y 0 . 3 3 % over last year. Financially, I C
H i s set was quite predictable w i t h a l l the o l d classics " R o l l Over Beethoven",
rose f r o m 3.1 to 13.9.
T h e first n a t i o n a l d e m o n -
board a train for will
ported
will
employment
it w i t h — " M y D i n g - A - L i n g " . T h i s was
r a d i c a l l y different and
even
Goode",
funnier.
from They
the recording at finished
with
Lanchester, "Johhny
B
a n d C h u c k was off the stage a n d in his c a r
ready to leave w h i l e his band finished the song off,
—
the first concert I've been to without hearing an encore. G . J . Kes.
FRIDAY, 23rd -
SUNDAY, 25th FEBRUARY
SKI-ING to Le M o n t e D o r e ( A u v e r g n e region of
MISSING
WEEKEND
BLOOD
IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE A N D TECHNOLOGY L o n d o n S W 7 . T e l e p h o n e : 01-589 5111. T e l e x : 261503
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F r o m M i n e r a l Technology, R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s ,
(2)
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would
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persons
responsible
please return t h e m to the appropriate
Departmen-
t a l Superintendent o r the C o l l e g e Security Officer.
Y o u r Help Is Urgently
Needed - ENROL TODAY
Case History
Letters Partisan ? Sir, Letters in FELIX attacking cleaners as being "lazy" and "unnecessary" must be wholeheartedly condemned as being on the same level as those calling students "long-haired layabouts, who have never done a day's work in their lives". An important question is raised here for, as we are entering this enormous campaign for grant increases, should letters and articles attacking cleaners or any other section of workers in the college be published? In the Grants Campaign we are going to need the support of every group of workers or professional people we can get, to ensure the defeat and refrom office of this govmoval ernment. When you go in for the a battle, for that is what Grants Campaign is, one does not want to alienate one's friends and support one's enemies. The whole of society is being polarised; today you must either be on one other. On the side or the side of students, hospital workers, pensioners and civil servants fighting to stop living standards being cut—or on the side of big business, property speculators and the Tories, fighting to maintain their rate of profit. A successful Grants Campaign must be seen as a part of the entire class struggle. Plans must be made and forces mobilised to demonstrate that we are not prepared to lie down and be trampled over: we must fight back. "Felix" should be part of this fight for it is a student newspaper. It should be a paper that discusses all the issues involved in the defence of students' rights — not one that sets out to be non-partisan. Yours, etc., PETE GILLETT.
Sir,
ing the irrelevant whinings of the average "moderate" apolitical twits and take votes on contentious motions in order to defeat Tory attacks. In closing there is one question about democracy to which I would be grateful from Mr. for an answer Russden: Why should anyone who isn't a political activist be allowed a vote at Union meetings? Yours fraternally, ALASDHAIR ULYANOV (No relation).
Left-wing thinking Sir, At
last the final solution has been found! It is well-known that there currently exists a global glut of unemployed graduates; the taxpayer must pay these people not only whilst they study, but also when they find their expensive education unwanted. The result is a total waste of both public money and these young people's time. Now if the state were to stop giving grants to students altogether, fewer would attend universities, of course. Thus, the surplus-graduate problem would be solved most neatly, as would the student-nuisance problem, since most would be too busy earning and studying to play at revolution. Most important of all, more than £f00 million of public money would be saved each year, and could be used for such worthy causes as the abolition of supertax and death duties. Yours
faithfully, J. PELLY-FRY.
Volunteers! Sir,
letter has (Note—this been adapted slightly to ensure grammatical correctness and continuity). Editor's Note: It would be sheer hypocrisy to suppress free speech in a student newspaper, which is exactly what Mr. Gillett is suggesting! Felix will continue to attempt to show all sides of the argument wherever possible.
More UGMs Comrade Editor, I am continually shocked, surprised, disappointed and bored to tears by reading such inchoate bourgeois political sub-thinking as portrayed in the letter from Charles Ftussden. The habit of rambling on about democracy in student affairs is repugnant to all members of the Union with a trace of dialectics in their souls. As I understand the systhat tem, in order to ensure union meetings are representative, a random numeral, chosen between the greatest and least number of students likely to attend a Union meeting, is called a quorum and shouted out at inopportune moments by Bill (I hate myself for doing this, but . , ..) Gerrard. I find it very difficult to believe that we really need less than one Union meeting they general every week—be or Extraordinary general—to decide on the best tactics in the continual struggle against Capitalism, but fortunately one section of the revolutionary vanguard of the student proletariat (i.e., the Exec.) is not afraid of ignor-
F e b r u a r y 6 t h , 1973
FELIX
Page 2
The Wandsworth Housing Aid Centre is a voluntary organisation which provides housing aid and advice to families and single people. It is run by a committee of members and is staffed during the day by one (soon to be two) full-time paid Coordinator. We receive most of our financial support from Shelter and our services are free. The main work of the volunteer members is to give preliminary interviews to people who make appointments by 'phoning or calling in during the day. The interviews take place between 7.00 and 9.00 Monday to Friday. We also have a meeting once a month. We desperately need more member/interviewers who can spare about two evenings per month. No-one is expectuntil ed to interview alone they have sat in with an experienced interviewer for a while. Once the interviewer has taken all the details and given any advice he can, the case is taken up by the fulltime Coordinator. I should be very grateful if you could mention our need for more volunteers in any your newspaper so that of your students (or staff) who live in the Wandsworth area and who are interested will get in touch with us. The with people to get in touch for more information, date of next meeting, etc. are—Dave Ferris (Coordinator) Wandsworth Housing Aid Centre daytime only 870 2679 Jackie Edwards evenings
and weekends 223 Ann
Fowler,
evenings
Tricia
and
870 3259 Thank you. Yours JENNIFER
2016 Ross
weekends
sincerely, BEARDWOOD.
As you have asked for letters concerning the grants campaign, I thought I would write and tell you what my reparticular story is, with gards to grants. 1. Early in 72, I applied as and normal for an LEA grant, was awarded £360 pa for 3 years, £120 pa being deducted because of parental income. 2. At Christmas, I got married to a girl who had a 4 months old baby. She did not have a job then, arTd does not have one now. 3. Twice, on 'phoning my LEA, I was told that my grant could not be changed for the whole of the 3 years, eitTier by virtue of my married status or because of the dependent child. 4. We moved into a basement flat in Hammersmith, and are paying £5 plus per week rent, where my wife does domestic cleaning for the landlady. 5. My situation can now be summarised. For an income of £360 a year, or £12 a week during term time, with nothing during vacation, myself, my I have to support wife, my child including all food, clothing, travel expenses and books. If Mr. Norman St. John Stevas can think of how we are to live, I hope he will please tell me. BILL WOOD, EEI. (Thank you Felix).
H.
Sir, A token stoppage by some hundreds of members of the Imperial College Branch of ASTMS took place last 'Tuesday afternoon. There is a Branch Meeting this Tuesday, February 6th, and it is that the same event likely will occur. Thereafter it is serilikely to become more ous and I have no doubt that we will come to the President of IC Union to invoke the agreement made between the College based Unions (including I.C. Union) during the presidency of John McCullough. The situation is complex, but simply it is as folows. In 1969 ASTMS was challenged to co-operate on an with the governequal basis mental Manpower Service Unit and the Universities to provide the correct salaries and correct gradings for University Technical Staff. This challenge we accepted and have been heavily involved in detailed and conwork. As time has structive progressed national and local agreements have evolved to ASTMS and the Uniwhich versities have put their signatures, binding in honour only. Elsewhere up and down the country the administration of Universities have broken such agreements made. It now appears to be College the turn of Imperial administration. Having demolished every single argument that the College administration have brought forward, we find that the College is breaking two agreements because it is their decision to do so. There are other matters that also concern us. A group of dedicated and provocative non-trade unionists, every who demand as a right concession that their trade from union colleagues win the College locally and from the Universities nationally, have been given the most favoured treatment. This, including a special meeting with the Rector. It may not be widely known but it is College policy to deny the ASTMS any representational rights as a body on any College Committee except one. WE sit on that one because we threatened many years ago some drastic action. It may not also be widely that the present Recknown tor has ruled that he will not see representatives of
FAIRBROTHER, Secretary.
Thank you,
Son/a/ Sir, I
refer
Sonia
to
week's put
the of
students
future
our
as a
that
might
some
by
her
have thinking
pure is
let-
provoked exploiter
to
science
reDoes
bourgeoisie
somewhere perhaps
cal-
increased
education.
realise
she
This for
us students
of
Sonia
the
responsible
culating value
is the
bourgeoisie.
is
sult
an
view
regards
of
the
class
of
as
exploitation by
last
Rather
point
forward
from
in
"Felix".
interesting
ter
letter
the
Hochfelder
that
research rather
in unprofit-
able? think
Just
of
intellectuals, teaching, little geoisie for
feel
like
and it.
of
the
an
a
of
one
of
life
for the
One
sec-
untainted
by
bourgeoisie
system
most
take
grateful
pointing
such
for
mak-
education.
why
they
immediate
Yours
to
out
from
wonders
not
the
very
do
action.
sincerely, CHRIS
STEVENS.
Boring Sir, A part
glance
at
of your
week the
a
prompted
few ly
I
to
Kampf",
and
resulting
tract "Sir"
perhaps as
a neat
as
of
the "Mein
sandwich
the
between
the
and you
a
particular-
such
edition
would
ask
a
book,
Patagonian
ture,
last
to
translate
from
pages
word
my
signa-
it
(with
heading
"Fascist
such
Contracep-
tions")? Yours ADOLF
quizzically, VON
WEASELGROPE,
President,
OUR CASE T h e justice of the c l a i m is beyond doubt. N o t o n l y has o u r standard of l i v i n g been slashed, n o t o n l y is there gross d i s c r i m i n a t i o n against m a r r i e d w o m e n a n d students i n the F E colleges, b u t i n fact the last rise i n 1971 was a C O N . O u r parents are p a y i n g m o s t o f it i n increased contributions — m a n y of t h e m either cannot o r w i l l not p a y them. B u t reason has no effect o n this G o v e r n m e n t . It has t a k e n over a year to agree to meet N U S to discuss the c l a i m . A n y trade u n i o n faced w i t h a s i m i l a r response w o u l d have been out o n strike m o n t h s ago. U n f o r t u n a t e l y students cannot have the same effect b y s t r i k i n g b u t we must use what power w e have — the e c o n o m i c power of rent strikes a n d refectory b o y cotts against the colleges a n d the disruptive power of demonstrations, lecture boycotts (and of course refec. boycotts as well). So far the m i l i t a n c y of the nation-wide c a m p a i g n has w o n us t w o t h i n g s : — firstly the D E S has finally agreed to meet N U S o n 27th F e b . , secondly a n u m b e r of vice-chancellors have m a d e p u b l i c statements supp o r t i n g us. REFECTORY BOYCOTTS T h e U G M voted for this tactic b y a vote of the order of 3 to 1 rejecting the threats m a d e b y V i c t o r J . M o o n e y i n last week's F e l i x . W e m u s t totally oppose any suggestion of closing the U n i o n lower refectory next year. It is b e c o m i n g increasingly viable. If the b a r i n the U n i o n L o w e r lounge h a d been opened at the beginning of term as i t s h o u l d have been the U n i o n ref. m i g h t w e l l have been b r e a k i n g even due to the increased c u s t o m attracted. A s for M o o n e y ' s suggestion that the refectory staff w i l l take the boycotts as a personal insult, the boycott is a i m e d at getting higher grants a n d the staff w i l l surely realise this — unless, o f course, someone is stirring u p trouble to set the students a n d workers against each other. T h e U n i o n is pledged to fight against a n y threat to jobs a n d w e m u s t t a k e this pledge very seriously indeed. W e c a n use o u r representation on the Refectories C o m m i t t e e to fight redundancies b u t i n the last analysis its u p t o the u n i o n as a w h o l e t o take a c t i on alongside the trade unions i n College i f this threat is made.
question.
were
boring
Page me
following If
substantial
Letters
A t l o n g last after 3 U G M s the U n i o n is n o w going to D O something about getting higher grants i n stead of s i m p l y m a k i n g demands w i t h n o t h i n g to b a c k them up. T h e d e m o n s t r a t i o n next Wednesday to the D E S a n d the refectory boycotts t o be l a u n c h e d b r i n g us right into the t h i c k of the fight for higher grants. W i t h 4 2 colleges o n rent-strike a n d m a n y m o r e r u n n i n g refectory boycotts w i t h the excellent d e m o n s t r a t i o n of 500 students f r o m T h a m e s P o l y t e c h n i c to the D E S last Wednesday a n d that of 1,000 i n S o u t h a m p t o n the previous week, there is every sign that this grants c a m p a i g n is going to be the biggest success students have ever h a d .
she
potential
the
be
efficient
ing
well
does
motive?
should Sonia
being
be
feel
I
bour-
to our
very
the
What
profit
little
out
for
—
paid
those
do
turning profit
tions
all
who
destroyer
Asms
TIME FOR ACTION!
ASTMS and IC Union jointly on any matter. With the conscious breaking of agreements by the College and in this kind of atmosphere, who can blame our members for demonstrating their disgust. Yours sincerely,
C.8G.
Y.N.S.S.S.
Responsibility
WEDNESDAY'S DEMO T h i s must be seen as a part of the b u i l d u p to the big d e m o o n F e b . 21st covering a l l colleges a n d u n i versities i n the S . E . o f E n g l a n d . B y m a r c h i n g to the D E S we c a n firstly p u t some m o r e pressure o n the G o v e r n m e n t , secondly get press coverage a n d t h i r d l y involve hundreds of u n i o n members i n the c a m p a i g n . A f t e r the d e m o we won't just c r a w l b a c k a n d lie d o w n again. W e have to keep u p the activity, b u i l d i n g u p to a n even bigger turn-out o n F e b r u a r y 21st. H O R R O R STORIES! T h e n a t i o n a l (and local) press l i k e the personal touch. So i f w e w a n t p u b l i c i t y o n grants w e r e a d : " J . Bloggs of I C is l i v i n g o n chips because his parents can't (or won't) give h i m the £150 parental c o n t r i b u t i o n he is d u e . " A n y o n e w i t h grant difficulties o u t of the o r d i n a r y should c o m e into the u n i o n office a n d give the details to the President w h o w i l l use the case history to get the sort of favourable press coverage w e need. J O H N
Sir, The responsible Union. One year a levy on Hall fees for a new Hall of Residence was decided upon. The following year there was an attempt to cancel it. One week there was a decision to get students as a body of Union members to write letters to the UnderSecretary of State at the DES. The following week this was cancelled. The responsible union. ' Yes, I know, it isn't necessarily "the Union Exec" which does this. It is a number of those people who try to guide Union policy with their shortsighted, narrow and sometimes ignorant motions, resolutions and demands. People who want to be taken seriously should behave in a serious fashion. Yours faithfully, DORI SCHMETTERLING.
I S R A E L B e t h e r e for t h e 2 5 t h A n n i v e r s a r y celebrations
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F e b r u a r y 6 t h , 1973
F E L I X
Page 3
Spot the capitalist competition
JOIN THE FELIX CAMPAIGN TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF LIFE IN BRITAIN In response to widespread public alarm about the quality of life in Britain today, Felix, with the support of the Advisory Centre for Bolshevism, launches its nationwide campaign to rid our once green and pleasant land of that most insidious and widespread hangover from the Industrial Revolution: Capitalism. Even as y o u read this ployment doesn't get t h e d e a d l y t e n t a c l e s of y o u , t h e p r e m a t u r e recapitalist exploitation put dundancies w i l l ! " y o u in d a n g e r of l o s i n g , Vladimir Catnip, i n c h b y i n c h , that g e n e r - Felix's Political correso u s s p a n of m o d e r n life pondent, writes: The a l l o t t e d to e v e r y m e m b e r f a c t s a r e p l a i n f o r a l l to of t h e f l e d g l i n g p r o l e t a r - see, b u t f a c t s a r e n o t iat. enough, w e need empirical evidence w i t h w h i c h E v e r y s e c o n d nearer to a r m a r e v o l u t i o n a r y that m o m e n t w h e n y o u f i n a l l y r e c e i v e y o u r d e g - party s o it c a n l e a d t h e ree b r i n g s y o u c l o s e r to w o r k i n g c l a s s t o v i c t o r y . a l i f e t i m e of b a r r e n ser- T h e r e f o r e w e c a l l o n every m a n , w o m a n a n d v i l i t y s t r e t c h i n g a w a y to c h i l d to h e l p us in t h e t h e g r a v e , to be a c o g in c o m p i l a t i o n of a n a t i o n t h e v a s t m a c h i n e of production w i t h no future, w i d e Nauseating M o n e y makers' Map, which will but to k e e p grinding e n a b l e u s to p i n p o i n t away producing surplus e v e r y c a p i t a l i s t in B r i t a i n v a l u e f o r the e n r i c h m e n t today. of that p o r c i n e f e w t h e y W i t h t h e a i d of a call the bourgeoisie. grant from the A C B w e Hamstrung unions, can equip everyone w h o sell - out leadership, P h a s e II, P h a s e III, infla- a s k s w i t h a s p e c i a l F e l i x K i t 4 c o n s i s t i n g of a tion, urban pollution, camera with telephoto rural d e s e c r a t i o n ; h o w lens, long range convercan this miserable prossation monitors, lapel p e c t be r e c o n c i l a b l e w i t h microphones, R o l l s the g i a n t t e c h n o l o g i c a l Royce proximity meters, leaps forward leading tape measure for measu p to t h e 1 9 7 0 ' s — if u r i n g g i r t h of s u s p e c t s , y o u t h i n k that s o u n d s Daily Torygraph sensors g r i m , remember the sagacious words of t h e a n d t h e a d d r e s s of the Athenaeum. C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y Officer: " I f the g r a d u a t e u n e m A t r i a l r u n of the k i t
with a random selection of s t u d e n t s f r o m Imperi a l i s t C o l l e g e r e s u l t e d in 5 electrocutions (2 fatal), 1 Bentley S3 i d e n t i f i e d o u t of a r a n d o m s a m p l e of m i n i s a n d Fiat 5 0 0 ' s , 2 3 irrevocably knotted tape measures a n d 14 blue m o v i e s of Sonia Hochfelder. W e feel h o w e v e r , that w i t h a larger n u m b e r o f participants, the results obtained s h o u l d be of greater revolutionary s i g nificance. The preliminary res u l t s of t h e trial s u r v e y s h o w that o n l y a s m a l l r e g i o n of b o g w e s t o f Cater's beam on Dartm o o r m a y be t h e o n l y area in B r i t a i n t o d a y s t i l l free from capitalism. But w i th this special F E L I X k i t y o u s h o u l d be a b l e to start B r i t a i n o n t h e r o a d to S o c i a l i s m and in(no relation) crease your o w n political at the consciousness same time. E n o u g h d a t a s h o u l d be c o l l e c t e d by this c a m p a i g n for the A C B to c o r r e c t l y a n a l y s e the c u r r e n t o b j e c t i v e p o l i t i c a l f a c t o r s in B r i t a i n t o d a y that w i l l enable t h e m to l e a d t h e m a s s a c t i o n to f o r c e t h e T o r i e s to r e s i g n a n d r e t u r n a L a b o u r government p l e d g e d to S o c i a l i s t p o l i cies.
Examples of Capitalist Spoor
A n s w e r in T i m e s Classified
Phosphorous the Jobrot and Ferocious Din Port eight of the serialisation of the book by S. J. Swailes George's boat floated gently o n her moori n g s , as t h e t h r e e a d v e n t u r e r s , a n d t h e p r o u d owner stood b y the water's edge staring out over the deep blue sea. "Jolly nice," said Ferocious, " b u t h o w are we supposed to get o u t t h e r e ? " " A h , " said the s m i l i n g captain, "I have a dinghy for just that purpose, cunningly concealed yonder." Ferocious foll o w e d G e o r g e ' s p o i n t i n g a r m . H e c o u l d see nothing even vaguely like a dinghy. T h e Jungle Controller beamed at h i s companion's confusion. "Over here," he said, leading the p a r t y towards a huge shell-like object, h a l f buried i n the sand. W h e n they drew near t h e y c o u l d see that it w a s a vast c l a m , w i t h "Tender to Overdraft" painted o n the top half. "Overdraft?" said Ferocious incredulously. "Yes, u m , "m u m b l e d George, "before comi n g to t h e jungle, I w o r k e d i n a b a n k , a n d 1 bought h e r o n a n Overdraft, so it seemed a p p r o p r i a t e at the time. A c t u a l l y , I call h e r Fanny, now." "Quite understandable, dear boy," said Ferocious with a smile, " b u t surely that molusc is not the Tender?" George laughed knowingly. " N o , n o , " Jie s a i d , " t h e d i n g h y is i n s i d e . " H e leant forward and banged o n the huge shell. " P u s h off," s a i d t h e c l a m , " t h i s is p r i v a t e property." George sighed, "Don't be silly, E n i d , " he said, " i t ' s me, George." " O . K . " said E n i d , "just c h e c k i n g . " W i t h a c r e a k i n g o f sinews, a c r a c k appeared at t h e join i n the two halves of the shell. Slowly the u p p e r h a l f lifted to reveal a s m a l l black rubber dinghy, a n d an outboard motor. we are," said George proudly, "There "that's h o w we get out to F a n n y . " W i t h Ferocious' help the Jungle Controller lifted the d i n g h y f r o m its h i d i n g place, a n d E n i d shut down behind them. "Cheerio George," she called after the a d v e n t u r e r s , as they m a d e t h e i r w a y d o w n to t h e s e a . "I t h i n k , " said George, " t h a t w e h a d better m a k e t w o t r i p s , c o n s i d e r i n g t h e size o f some members of the party." "Sorry," said the Twigworm. " N o t r o u b l e , " s a i d G e o r g e , as h e p u s h e d the little boat into the water a n d j u m p e d in, " Y o u come w i t h me, Phosphorous a n d Ferocious; I'll come back for the Twigworm in a moment." Phosphorous and Ferocious c l a m b e r e d into the boat, a n d George p u s h e d off w i t h a p a d d l e . A s s o o n a s h e was i n deep water t h e J u n g l e C o n t r o l l e r lowered the outboard motor and pulled the string. T o his surprise it started first pull. " N o t often that happens," he said w i t h a grin, "perhaps it's a good omen." W i t h the motor buzzing angrily the dinghy headed out to.wards t h e F a n n y . Meanwhile the Twigworm sat at the water's edge, i n its usual heap, idly burying its huge feet i n t h e sand, a n d wonderi n g s a d l y w h e r e Its T w i g w o r m e r y h a d got to. A s h o u t a w o k e t h e l a r g e c r e a t u r e f r o m its d r e a m i n g . G e o r g e h a d r e t u r n e d , a n d w a s suggesting that the T w i g w o r m step aboard. With some stumbling a n d m u c h splashing, this was achieved, a n d , b o w practically beneath t h e waves, t h e d i n g h y r e t u r n e d to the o l d k e t c h . A g a i n at r i s k to life a n d limb, the T w i g w o r m was persuaded out of the d i n g h y a n d onto t h e scrubbed decks of George's boat. "Right," said the master mariner, "let's get s o m e s a i l u p , a n d w e c a n b e away." nor Unfortunately neither Phosphorous Ferocious h a d ever been sailing before, a n d the Twigworm h a d o n l y b e e n afloat o n a Twigwormery which just drifted. "Never mind," said the ever-optimistic George,
"you'll soon pick it u p . " H e gave them a short lecture o n the principles of sailing, w i t h a m u s i n g anecdotes a n d little diagrams. T h e y felt n o n e the wiser. " N e v e r m i n d , " said George, less optimistically, "If the worst comes to t h e worst, I c a n handle h e r by myself." It w a s t i m e to m a k e a move. Under George's instructions they managed to raise the m a i n s a i l a n d a j i b — t h e latter upsided o w n twice. George's good h u m o u r was wearing thin. " R i g h t " he shouted, "Cast off the mooring, Ferocious." " C o m e a g a i n ? " asked the acting first mate. " U n t i e t h e rope at the front, the one that's fixed to the B u o y . " said the captain through clenched dentures. " W h y d i d n ' t y o u s a y s o i n t h e first p l a c e ? " s h o u t e d back a tactless F e r o c i o u s , as h e dropped the jib o n the Twigworm's head. "Sorry, wrong string," came the cry from up forward. George said a seamanlike rude word under his breath. W i t h m u c h shouting of " h a u l h a r d m e h a n d s o m e s ! " a n d " s p l i c e the upper fore goolies" Ferocious managed t o g e t t h e j i b b a c k u p a n d finally t o c a s t off. T h e o l d b o a t s w u n g r o u n d o n t o a p o r t tack, heeled gently i n t h e light air, a n d headed o u t to sea. G e o r g e stood p r o u d l v at the helm as h i s p r i d e and joy sliced smoothly through the swell. H e was joined in t h e cockpit b y the rest of the crew. T o fit t h e m a l l i n , t h e T w i g w o r m w a s p u s h e d d o w n b e l o w , a n d t o l d t o m a k e s o m e coffee. " B u t I don't know h o w ! " he protested. "Twioworms don't usually d r i n k coffee." " A l r i g h t , dear o l d e n o r m o u s n a u t i c a l person." said Ferocious, " y o u come out here and I'll m a k e t h e coffee." T h e r e w a s a m o ment of panic when it appeared that Ferocious a n d t h e T w i g w o r m w e r e g o i n g to be j a m m e d i n the companion way, b u t someit resolved itself leaving t h e T w i g how o n the outside and Ferocious o n worm t h e i n s i d e as i n t e n d e d . George h a d been studying the t r i m of the sails a n d c o n s i d e r i n g t h e weather. " A s there isn't m u c h w i n d , " h e said "I think that we should put some more sail u p . " Phosphorous a n d the T w i g w o r m looked at e a c h o t h e r s a d l y . "I'm right i n the middle of m a k i n g the coffee," came a voice f r o m below. " I ' m afraid y o u ' l l have to c o u n t m e o u t . as it w e r e . " G e o r g e raised h i s e y e s s k y w a r d s . "Alright," he said "Phosphorous a n d the Twigworm c a n do it. I w a n t y o u to get the mizzen a n d the staysail u p . " " E h ? " said Phosphorous. George d i d his hest to explain. " W e l l we'll have a go anyway, won't we T w i g ? " said Phosphorous. "Oh, yes," said the Twigworm, "we'll do o u r best." W i t h m u c h falling over, a n d p u l l i n g of ropes they managed to raise t h e appropriate sails, b u t not before t h e T w i g w o r m had fallen through the fore-hatch twice, and Phosphorous h a d shot u p to the top of t h e m a i n mast w i t h a c r y of " H a u l awav. Twig!" Bruised, but not unduly discouraged the p a i r r e t u r n e d to the cockpit. C e r t a i n l y the extra sail h a d made a difference: thev were bowling along now with a creaming white wake, a n d sufficient heel f o r Feroc i o u s to d r o p G e o r g e ' s coffee d o w n t h e back of t h e c h a r t table. "S"r>-v a h n u t t h a t , d e a r o l d c a p t a i n s i r . " he said. " I ' l l p r e p a r e s o m e m o r e , as y o u m i g h t s a y . " N o n e of these disasters c o u l d detract from George's happiness. Standing, feet apart, at the tiller o f h i s o w n boat, creaking t h e w i n d i n h i s face, t h e d e c k and swaying beneath h i m , the heavy r e d canvas b u l g i n g above his head — he was contentment personified.
FELIX
F e b r u a r y 6th, 1973
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The Intelligent I.C. Student's Guide to Extra-mural Entertainment & Edification The Intelligent Student's G u i d e to E x t r a - M u r a l entertainment a n d Edification is obviously a conglomeration of the Felix Diary a n d the R e v i e w s Page. H o w e v e r , w e h o p e that it w i l l b e c o m e rather m o r e than that. T h e Diary h a s been stead i l y e x t e n d e d s i n c e t h e start of the year, a n d n o w i n c l u d e s all relevant content f r o m IC News, Entsheet a n d Octopus in addition t o t h e information Felix is regularly sent. to a d d We also propose dates a n d times of other i n teresting things going o n in L o n d o n . . . s o if y o u k n o w of anything, let u s k n o w l London is the entertainment centre of t h e country, s o there must be something aroundI The number of reviews is to b e r e d u c e d , a n d w e h o p e that they'll vary in coverage from week to week. A new addition will be the " S i x of t h e B e s t " c o l u m n , a selection of theatre, f i l m s , records, etc., with brief comments. A list of p r o g r a m m e s at C i n e m a s local to t h e areas where IC students live is n o w included, a n d this will b e extended t o other area hapIf w e ' v e l e f t y o u r penings. area out. please let u s know. Good things don't all happen at c i c e , a n d Felix researchers are n o w working on other items for inclusion s o o n : these i n c l u d e a list of Church services, restaurants b y o u r gourrecommended mets. T V programmes, art exhibitions, walks, places to g o , e t c . If y o u t h i n k o f a n y thing, write a n d tell u s . One important note — w e have n o intention of either duplicating or imitating "Time O u t "or "What's O n . ' The central emphasis will be on items of interest to IC students. Finally, it's been quite a marathon to get this lot to gether. a n d it'll b e difficult t o k e e p u p . If y o u a r e w i l l ing to help compile it, please come along to the special IICSGTEME&E meeting at 4.30 p.m. o n Friday after noons, or drop i n a n d see m e i n t h e office o r i n m y pad i n W e e k s some other time. O h , a n d Felix still needs a regular film critic Offers?
THE
4 2>
EDITOr
Looking Ahead
Felix Diorg nformation sent to Felix and culled from IC News, U S K Entsheet, Octopus and a scouring of Union noticeboards. » compiled from .... ~.. — FELIX D I A R Y is Please write all the details down on a piece H o w e v e r , n o guarantee of the inclusion of any event can be made unless information is sent direct to Felix Tuesday's issue. Or ring it through to him send it as early as possible to the Editor, Weeks Hall to arrive by Sunday 1 4 0 0 hours for that of paper a n d O N S U N D A Y b e f o r e 1 4 0 0 , Int. 4 2 3 6 .
S p r i n g s e e m s to definitely b e the season of G i l b e r t a n d S u l l i v a n . T h e D ' O y l y Carte Company a r e into the second of their three-month season at the Sadler's Wells T h e a t r e i n R o s e b e r y A v e n u e , a n d it s e e m s as though every college in L o n d o n is d o i n g its o w n s e a s o n a s w e l l . Imperial College amongst them: o u r very own G & S Society are presenting " l o l a n t h e " next week, w i t h daily performances from M o n d a y to Friday at 7 . 3 0 p . m . in the U n i o n Concert Halt. Tickets are 3 0 p on M o n d a y a n d Tuesday, 4 0 po n Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, a n d are e n sale n o w daily in the foyer of the U n i o n b u i l d i n g . T h e Royal C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e U n i o n is holding a " F o l k C a r n i v a l " on Friday, 23rd February. Running through from 7 p . m . to 2 a . m . , it f e a t u r e s t h e Ian C a m p b e l l F o l k Group, Barry Dransfield, Hamish Imlach, guest Dave a n d Toni Arthur a n d special star V i v S t a n s h a l l . Tickets are 9 0 p each, f r o m t h e R C S U Office, S o u t h s i d e . " A Night of J o y " i s really a p u n o nthe n a m e of t h e Presi dent of t h e U n i v e r s i ty o f London U n i o n , b u t " S p r i n g Fever", the President's Ball to be held also o n February 2 3 r d i s n o j o k e : it i s a n a l l - n i g h t a f f a i r ( 9 t o 6) w i t h G e o r g i a F a m e a n d A l a n Price, J o h n Renbourn, the Ray Jackson Orchestra, Wild Wally's Balloon a n d Banana Band, Mask, Cottonwood, the Nightingales a n d Juliana's D i s c o . S u p p e r w i l l be served from a buffet. A formal dress occasion, the highlight of the U L U year a n d a t t e n d e d b y H e r M a j e s t y Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, double
1945 " T h e M i k a d o " at M a r j o n s (see W e d n e s T H U R S D A Y , 8th F E B R U A R Y day). 1230 S c o u t a n d G u i d e C l u b presents D . B . 2000 P l e t h o r a of d i s c o s . B e s i d e s the " P e o p l e ' s Hernandez-Castanos on " M e x i c o — the D i s c o " , held as ever in the Union Lower country a n d its p e o p l e " . R S M 3 . 0 3 . R e f e c t o r y , there a r e others at C h e l s e a 1300 N o Union Meeting! ( C o l l e g e House Refectory), R C A (canCatholic Society Bible study group. F a l . t e e n ) , Institut F r a n c a i s , B i r k b e c k C o l l e g e 118. and University College Hospital Medical 1315 Stamp Club. Civil 4 1 2 . School. 1330 T h e A r c h b i s h o p of C a n t e r b u r y g e t s " f a c e 2100 " E a s y R i d e r " a g a i n at IC F i l m s o c , n o n to f a c e " w i t h s t u d e n t s i n t h e i n t i m a t e members 20p. s u r r o u n d i n g s of M E 2 2 0 . " A r c h i t e c t u r e a n d Metaphysics in M e d i S A T U R D A Y , 10th F E B R U A R Y e v a l E u r o p e " in P h y s L T 1. 1000 Celebration — Liturgy Workshop a t Christ Presented by Dominic de Grunne. the K i n g ( G o r d o n S q u a r e , W C 1 ) . T h e E m p e r o r H o r n T r i o of L o n d o n p l a y s S e c o n d a n d f i n a l d a y of C r u f t ' s a t O l y m B r a h m s ' Horn Trio, in the Library, 5 3 pia. G r r o w w l ! Prince's Gate. 2000 IC Ents present S h a r k s , 5 0 p . 1900 J o i n t C h r i s t i a n S e r v i c e a n d Party in J C R O t h e r g i g s : C h e l s e a have W h e e l s . H o r College Block. ror f i l m s a n d d i s c o . L S E h a v e P l a i n s o n g , P a t r o n ' s F u n d C o n c e r t at R o y a l C o l l e g e L o n g D a n c e r a n d S p i r o g y r a . U L U have of M u s i c C o n c e r t H a l l . F r e e . Bridget St. John. A r t C l u b m e e t s i n R C A a n n e x ( b e h i n d the Hux). S U N D A Y , 11th F E B R U A R Y Electronic M u s i c Group meets in Haldane 1000 S u n g E u c h a r i s t in C B A n t e - R o o m . PreaLibrary. cher: Rev. Barney M i l l i g a n . 1945 M a r J o n s p r e s e n t s (i) T h e M i k a d o ( s e e M a s s , preacher D o m Columba Cary1 1 0 0 W e d n e s d a y ) a n d (ii) f i l m s , " T h e Last Elwes. More House. bar. 1 0 p . Valley" and "Friday C a t " and "Hare M a s s , p r e a c h e r D o m A n d r e w Brennink1800 2100 St. Bart's Hospital film club presents S p l i t t e r " for 2 0 p . meyer. M o r e House. " G e t Carter' in Physiology LT, Charter2000 Bedford College Folk C l u b (doesn't clash C a t h o l i c S o c i e t y : " R a d i o , T V a n d the 1 9 3 0 house Square. 2 0 p . w i t h IC, s o they c a n h a v e a p l u g ) i n their C o m m u n i t y " , by F a t h e r A g n e l l u s A n d r e w Union Common Room. More House. M o r e folk at t h e C h u r c h of C h r i s t the WEDNESDAY, 7th FEBRUARY " G u m s h o e " at C h e l s e a F i l m S o c , 1 0 p . 1900 K i n g i n t h e C r y p t . " C o m e a n d S i n g " . Future Shock 1300 " S t u d e n t s a n d the W a g e F r e e z e " , a R e d 2 0 0 0 Q E C Bar Disco, 10p. V a l e n t i n e M a s s a c r e D i s c o ( l e t ' s face it, M o l e ( = I M G ? ) meeting in E E 3 0 5 . Alvin Toffler it's s o m e m a s s a c r e ) at Institute of E d u D e m o n s t r a t i o n to the D E S . J o i n i n I C ' s M O N D A Y , 12th F E B R U A R Y 1315 c a t i o n . Free beer, but 3 0 p to g e t i n . very o w n d e m o ( s e e front p a g e ) . A s s e m 1930 W e l l s o c presents " S u b l i m i n a l Projection" 5 0 pence Pan ble M e c . E n g . c o n c o u r s e . in M E 2 2 0 . A l v i n Toffler is d e a l i n g w i t h p e o p l e , FRIDAY, 9th F E B R U A R Y L o n d o n S t u d e n t P r e s s A s s o c i a t i o n inter1630 he i s d e a l i n g w i t h reality, h e i s d e a l 1 0 0 0 C r u f t ' s D o g S h o w o p e n s at O l y m p i a . v i e w s Peter H a i n , Y o u n g L i b e r a l s leader ing w i t h p e o p l e w h e n they a r e overWoof, woof! Fulham Road A B C (370 2636) "Portnoy's Complaint" (nil Thurs.) a n d the m a n w h o " S t o p p e d the ' 7 0 t o u r " Kensington Odeon (937 6131) "The Ruling Class" (till tomorrow) w h e l m e d b y c h a n g e or w h e n they f a i l 1 2 4 5 I s l a m i c S o c i e t y c o n g r e g a t i o n a l p r a y e r s . A l l budding journalists w e l c o m e . U L U , Paris Pullman (373 5898) "Andy Warhol and his Clan" and to a d a p t to the f u t u r e . "Erotissimo". CB002. M a l e t Street, R o o m 2 C . Notting Hill Classic (727 5750) "The Go-Between". Late night V e r y c a r e f u l l y t h i s a u t h o r takes 1300 S T O I C p r e s e n t s the " E v e r - P o p u l a r M o n o Sai. 10th "Accident". Islamic Society meeting, C B 0 0 2 . 1830 Paddington Classic (723 5716) "Buck and the Preacher" and e v e r y d a y e v e n t s , the p r o d u c t s w e b u y c h r o m e S h o w ' ' o n T V in J C R a n d S o u t h "Dynamite Man from Glory Jail". LN Sat. 10th "Bob and Carol Q E C F i l m C l u b present "Every Home 1915 a n d u s e , t h e p l a c e s w e travel to a n d and Ted and Alice"; "Loving . side. s h o u l d have o n e " , A l l e n Theatre, nonChelsea Classic (352 4388) "Blow U p ' . "Dance of the Vampires' how w e travel, the people w h o m w e 1800 S T O I C repeats the " E v e r - P o p u l a r M o n o LN Sat. 10th "The Blob". "Tickle M e " . members 15p. Chelsea Classic Curzon (352 7488) "The Garden of Finzi-Con k n o w a n d t h e s p e e d w i t h w h i c h they chrome S h o w " . tints'. d i s a p p e a r a n d s h o w s h o w a l l these IC F o l k C l u b p r e s e n t s A n n e B r i g g s i n 1930 1830 Christian Union meeting. 5 3 P . G . Putney Cinecenta (788 0032) "The Mechanical Impasse". Wimbledon A B C (542 2082) " A Clockwork Orange". t h i n g s a r e c h a n g i n g , t u r n i n g into a Lower Union Refectory; 1 5 p members, " E a s y R i d e r " i s the IC F i l m s o c p r e s e n t a Wimbledon Odeons 1. 2 & 3 (542 22771 1: "Innocent Bystanders' "Sun on the Skin' . 2: "Clinic Eclusive" and "The Girls Most 25p non-members. T h e r e ' s a l s o folk v i s i b l e torrent of c h a n g e , s u c k i n g a n d tion. Likely T o " . 3: "Nicholas and Alexandra'. tonight at the H o l y G r o u n d C l u b a n d U n i t u g g i n g e v e r y o n e of u s into a future 1900 " N e v e r o n S u n d a y " , " Z o r b a the G r e e k " Ealing A B C (567 1333) "Portnoys Complaint" and "Hunted Odeon. Northfields (567 3939) "Precinct 45" and "A Reflection versity College. out of o u r d e p t h s . H e s h o w s h o w a n d " B r i d e of F r a n k e n s t e i n " are the U L U of Fear". LN Sat. 10th "Barbarella". "The Deadly Bees". Ealing Studios 1 6 2 (579 3022) 1: "Hands Off Gretel". "Sextro M a r i a A s s u m p t a C o l l e g e d i s c o , in c o m future i n v a d e s u s , h o w s h e r u s h e s f i l m s i n M a l e t Street. verts '. 2: "Midnight Cowboy", "The Thomas Crown Affair." mon room. 15p. c l o s e r to g r a s p u s i n h e r o p e n a r m s 1930 F o l k at t h e Institute of E d u c a t i o n , M a l e t Shepherd's Bush Classic (743 1646) "Fritz the Cat". "Peeping Tom". LN Sat. 10th "Alfie". "The Love Goddesses." and points out the importance of not Street. " T h e M i k a d o " p r e s e n t e d by M a r J o n s 1945 Shepherd's Bush Galaxy (743-61551 "Love in the Afternoon "Escalation". s i t t i n g b a c k a n d s u c k i n g the future " T h e G a m b i t " is the Bedford College ( C o l l e g e of S . M a r k a n d S . J o h n ) 3 0 p & Shepherd's Bush Odeon (749 1116) "Precinct 45". " A Reflec film, 15p. f r o m the safety of h i s t o r y b u t grap40p. tion of Fear".
T U E S D A Y , 6th F E B R U A R Y 1300 External Affairs Committee Open Meeting. Stoic presents film, " A H o m e of Your O w n " on T V in J C R a n d Southside. 1330 " M o r t g a g e s from the Horse's M o u t h " , s t a r r i n g D e r e k C u m m i n g s in P h y s i c s L T 1. " E q u a l i t y a n d F r e e d o m " , 4 : Liberty a n d the L a w , b y D r . D . D . R a p h a e l . Mech. Eng. 2 2 0 . " L i s t e n i n g to C o n t e m p o r a r y M u s i c " by M i s s S a r a h T h o m a s , 4 : D e b u s s y a n d Imp r e s s i o n i s m , in M E 3 4 2 . " T h e N a t u r e of R e l i g i o u s B e l i e f " b y Father J o h n Coventry, S J , in M E 5 4 2 . 1740 Railway Soc. M E 6 6 4 . 1745 W i n e T a s t i n g S o c i e t y o n the Loire, P h y s . Level 8 . 1800 Transcendental Meditation introductory talk. E E 6 0 6 . 1930 SEAsoc's Malaysian Cultural Evening h a p p e n s in C o l l e g e B l o c k S C R . 2000 C a t h o l i c S o c i e t y s h a r e d prayer, More House. Q u e e n E l i z a b e t h C o l l e g e d i s c o in their
LOCAL
CINEMA
-
tickets are £6.50, obtainable by voucher from Linda Creagh, tC Union Clerk. Another major " s c o o p " for IC Ents isthe b o o k i n g of Elton J o h n f o r M a r c h 1 2 t h . T o enable IC s t u d e n t s to g e t i n w i t h o u t c o m peting with .bookings from othars the concert is not b e i n g advertised outside f o r t h e time being, a n d advance tickets are n o w obtainable from the bookshop, price £ 1 . Ents tells Felix that they a r e already g o i n g fast, a n d a d v i s e y o u to be quick about getting yours. u s telling them Readers will remember last term about C u m b e r l a n d L o d g e i n W i n d sor Great Park a n d the weekend courses that they r u n . T h e p r o g r a m m e continues this term with " C r y p t o g r a p h y a n d Decipherm e n t " o n February 16th-18th; "Perception and Illusion" o n February 23rd-25th; a n d "Genetics and Heretics" on April 27th-29th. Full details c a n be obtained from the ProLodge, gramme Secretary, Cumberland Windsor Great Park, Windsor, Berks., SL4 2 H P . N o t t o o f a r a w a y a t t h e IC field station at Silwood Park near A s c o t , 3rd-4th M a r c h sees the next Touchstone weekend when a discussion on " H u m a n Rights" will be conducted by D r . D. D . Raphael, A c a d e m i c Director of A s s o c i a t e d S t u d i e s , a n d Sergio Cotta, Professor of P h i l o s o p h y of L a w at R o m e U n i v e r s i t y . If y o u w o u l d l i k e t o g o , s e n d y o u r n a m e to M r . C . K . M c D o w a l l , R o o m 3 3 1 , College Block, a s soon a s poss i b l e . T h e c o s t o f £1 i n c l u d e s t h e c o a c h fare.
The Other Concert A p i e ce of c l a s s i c a l m u s i c f o r introduction, a s always, a n d then a smartly dressed F l a s h , l e d b y Peter B a n k s , took t h e stage a n d leapt straight into a lengthened version of " S m a l l B e g i n n i n g s " o n i t s c o m p l e t i o n . The stage looked a little different from u s u a l , w i t h three b a n k s of lights a n dt w o enormous flags — o n e Stars a n d Stripes, and one Union J a c k (nicely hung upside d o w n ) p r e s u m a b l y to d e n o t e t h e fact that the B e c k Bogart A p p i c e b a n d a r e A n g l o American. Their introduction w a s ana n n o u n c e m e n t of each m e m b e r of t h e b a n d along with h i s nationality followed by the b a s h i n g of a rather large g o n g , though t he n u m b e r t h e y f o l l o w e d it w i t h w a s v e r y a v e r age, each instrument drowning the other two. Flash a n d B . B . A . ' s sets s e e m e d to be directly opposed. F l a s h d i d three more long n u m b e r s , " B l a c k a n d W h i t e " of their forthcoming " F l a s h in the C a n " L.P. a n d " C h i l d r e n of t h e U n i v e r s e " a n d " D r e a m s of Heaven" from their first L.P. which if y o u ' v e s e e n o n c e y o u w o n ' t f o r g e t . It was banned from display i n o n e of the countries in Central America (which one I can't remember) because the President h a d a h e a r t a t t a c k w h e n h e s a w it i n a s h o p
contained window. E a c h of the n u m b e r s a solo spot f o r Peter B a n k s , p r o v i n g that, as w i d e l y a c c l a i m e d , he is o n e of the finest guitarists in the world, stroking out chords, p i c k i n g o u t notes a n d p l u c k i n g o u t riffs with great beauty, perhaps he d i d overdo the f e e d b a c k . Unfortunately several people in t h e a u d . e n c e h a d n e i t h e r c u l t u r e n o r m a n ners, a n d just w o u l d n ' t keep quiet. The rest of t h e time they r e m i n d e d m e a little of t h e e a r l y Y e s d a y s , w h i c h i s n ' t s u r p r i s ing, with R a y Bennett's powerful bass a n d Banks's runs (and Colin Carter even sounded like J o n A n d e r s o n on the record), so I was quite pleased with them. B.B.A., however, tended to play shorter numbers rolled together, a n d produced a far fuller s o u n d , - w i t h s o m e gutsy guitar work by M r . Beck, though they d i d perform a f e w slower numbers in Which h e exploited the more delicate u s e of the guitar. Their set included a bass solo a n d a n i n teresting a n d quite lengthy d r u m solo, a n d I w a s quite looking forward to B e c k ' s solo, b u t t h i s w a s n o t t o b e , a s s u c h , f o r h e jus< continued, with h i s short bursts every n o w and again, though the audience didn't mind and dragged them back for a n encore. G.J.K.
p l i n g w i t h h e r a s real live flesh a n d blood — n o w ! F u t u r e S h o c k is u n r i v a l l e d i n i t s c o m p r e h e n s i v e s t u d y of the h u m a n race, o r i g i n a l i n i t s a p p r o a c h a n d unique in its examples. T h e author s e l e c t s these e x a m p l e s w e l l a n d there are really s o m a n y g o o d o n e s i t ' s d i f f i c u l t to k n o w w h i c h o n e to c h o o s e to illustrate h i s point, however, the foll o w i n g d i d p a r t i c u l a r l y a p p e a l . It a p p e a r s in the c h a p t e r o n ' t h r o w - a w a y s o c i e t y ' a l o n g w i t h paper w e d d i n g dresses, throw-away bottles, cans a n d paper h a n d k e r c h i e f s . "Recently Mattel announced a new i m p r o v e d B a r b i e d o l l . T h e n e w vers i o n h a s a s l i m m e r figure, 'real' eyelashes a n d a twist-and-turn waist that m a k e s her m o r e h u m a n t h a n ever. M o r e o v e r , M a t t e l a n n o u n c e d that, f o r the first t i m e , a n y y o u n g l a d y w i s h i n g to p u r c h a s e a n e w B a r b i e w o u l d receive a trade-in a l l o w a n c e for her o l d one". DAVID H O B M A N
Sex, dental surgery a n d watching a film h a v e o n e s i m i l a r after-effect — they l e a v e m e i n a v a g u e , m i n d l e s s daze. " P o r t n o y ' s C o m p l a i n t " (Warner Rendezvous a n d A B C , Fulham Road) c o m p l e t e l y d r a i n e d the life o u t of m e . M a y b e it w a s b e c a u s e it w a s 1 0 . 3 0 a.m., or because I hadn't h a d any b r e a k f a s t , or s i m p l y that it w a s m y first trip to t h e c i n e m a f o r at least s i x m o n t h s : I d o n ' t k n o w . B u t , d e v o i d of a n y h o p e of d i v e r s i o n , I s p e n t m o s t of the 9 9 m i n u t e s it l a s t e d w o n d e r i n g what c o u l d have driven Ernest Lehm a n to m a k e the f i l m i n the first p l a c e and what w o u l d drive anybody to see it. I g u e s s t h e y ' r e h o p i n g i t ' l l b e the posters declaring that "Portnoy's Complaint is c a t c h i n g " . O f course, this p r e s u p p o s e s that y o u k n o w w h a t P o r t n o y ' s C o m p l a i n t i s , a n d that if you don't you'll be driven by a manic d e s i r e to find out. R e v e l a t i o n s e n s u e . W e l l , there's this guy c a l l e d Alexander Portnoy (Richard Banjamin, no I h a d n ' t h e a r d of f v m e i t h e r ) w h o s the A s s i s t a n t C o m m i s s i o n e r of H u m a n O p p o r t u n i t y f o r the C i t y of N e w Y o r k ( w h a t e v e r that i s ) . A n d w e m e e t h m l y i n g o n a p s y c h i a t r i s t ' s c o u c h , rec o u n t i n g the h i s t o r y of h i s c o m p l a i n t a n d its effects. His complaint is sexual obsession, and M r . Lehman gives us a thousand or t w o feet of c e l l u l o i d i n s i g h t into h i s t e e n a g e y e a r s a s a n inveterate m a s t u r b a t o r i n h i s f a m i l y of self-suff;
aring mother, c o n s t i p a t i o n — s u f f e r i n g father a n d o b e s i t y — s u f f e r i n g s i s t e r . W h a t h a p p e n s to h i m b e t w e e n t h e a g e s of 1 6 a n d 3 3 i s a n y o n e ' s g u e s s , for by a n e v e r - c o n f u s i n g s y s t e m o f flashbacks that's where w e find h ' m next, p i c k i n g u p t h e M o n k e y , a l i a s Mary Jane Reed (Karen Black) on a street corner at m i d n i g h t . Three f r a m e s later s h e " f u l f i l s h i s m o s t exotic sex fantasies", according to the p r e s s r e l e a s e — b u t they don't s h o w y o u a n y o f that. M i n d y o u , it n e e d s little i m a g ' n a t o n t o fill i n t h e b l a n k s i n the rest of t h e f i l m , w h i c h c o n s i s t s of s h o t s of t h e m a l t e r n a t e l y driving across open country a n d mutt e r i n g f o u l r.oth'ngs w h i l s t c u r l e d u p in b e d . T o cut a long a n d incredibly boring story s h o r t , they g o o n h o l i d a y i n E u r o p e , just a b o u t fall o u t , w h e n they p i c k u p a n Italian g i r l a n d h a v e a three-w ay affair i n R o m e a n d f a l l o u t c o m p l e t e l y the next d a y i n A t h e n s (fast m o v e r s , t h e s e Y a n k s ) . H e l e a v e s her t h r e a t e n i n g to j u m p o u t of t h e w ' n d o w , flies b a c k to N Y , a n d finds h m s e l f imagining seeing her jump d o w n at h i m every time he looks up at a b u i l d i n g . S o h e w h i p s a l o n g t o the h e a d s h r i n k e r . W h i c h i s e x a c t l y whe-e w e started. I found the film neither entertaining n o r inspiring. Don't waste money on s e e i n g i t . PAUL ROCHFORT
F e b r u a r y 6 t h , 1973
FELIX
Page 6
THE ENVIRONMENTAL CRISIS
a poem p r e s t n t s
— g e t a g o o d j o b w i t h a n e x p a n d i n g , science-based i n d u s t r y , m a r r y , settle d o w n a n d raise a f a m i l y i n c o n d i of
tions
material
refrigerator,
comfort — central
heating, c a r ,
c o l o u r television, hi-fi, etc. — a n d then
w h e n y o u are sixty, o r maybe less, retire a n d live o u t y o u r last years i n a leisurely a n d contented
manner?
F r a n k l y , y o u have not got a hope i n hell of succeeding. T o d a y w e live in an era of unprecedented materi al affluence; b u t it cannot last m u c h more than another twenty years o r so i n its present f o r m . W h y is this? It is s i m p l y because
there w i l l not be available
m a t e r i a l resources to m a k e this possible. T h e shortage will
part ly
arise
because
of
the g r o w i n g
of
meeting the exponent-
difficulty
i a l l y - increasing ments
of
world
out
require-
the
developed
of
a
finite
reserve. It w i l l be exacerhowever,
bated,
by
perfectly
legitimate
necessary
increase
the and
i n the
use of r a w materials by the
developing
countries.
T h u s the d e m a n d w i l l not only
increase
ally
exponenti-
at the rate of ' x ' %
say, b u t the magnitude of 'x'
is also
liable
to i n -
crease. The
situation is
made
even more serious b y the fact
that,
not
only
do
enough resources have to be f o u n d to produce the goods w e require, but we must also find a d d i t i o n a l resources to enable us to control
the p o l l u t i o n we
thereby
generate.
Pollu-
t i o n of the environment is something w h i c h , not surprisingly, we want to e l i m inate; b u t its prevention is something w h i c h , i n c o n ventional economic terms, we
shall
be
increasingly
unable to afford. W e a l l o w it to o c c u r at o u r peril, for once
sufficient
quantities
o f pollutants are released to upset the basic processes of the biosphere, there is really n o k n o w i n g what the effects w i l l be o n the various forms
o f life o n
the planet, i n c l u d i n g ourselves a n d the plants a n d a n i m a l s o n w h i c h we rely for
o u r food.
appears search
1
most
from
Indeed recent
it re-
that some of the fundamental
bio-
spheric processes are only just being discovered,
let
alone understood in sufficient depth to enable us to predict
how
easily
they
m a y be disturbed, o r what the be!
resulting effects
will
sufficient
T h u s the environmental crisis is not merely a c o l lection of localised, u n related problems such as p o l l u t i o n , noise, s h r i n k i n g countryside, etc., w h i c h it is just convenient to l u m p together under one heading. It is m u c h m o r e fundamental than this, a n d is basically concerned w i t h the material constraints placed b y nature u p o n m a n k i n d ' s efforts to progress towards a more ideal w o r l d . T h i s is i n sharp contrast to conventional p o l i t i c a l ideologies w h i c h are mostly concerned w i t h the human constraints. Things have come to a head because industrial civilisation has for too l o n g allowed itself to accept i n a relatively uncritical m a n ner, as a measure of what is good, the rate of i n crease of material wealth. T h i s has been a w o r k a b l e standard unt i l n o w because our demands u p o n the earth's resources have been easily satisfiable. S u c h a situation cannot, b y definition, continue for ever and we are n o w i n the u n comfortable position of seeing that, having due reg a r d to the political realities of the w o r l d today, a major d i s r u p t i o n of the growth process is going to o c c u r w e l l w i t h i n the lifetime of present-day students. Needless to say, such a perturbation will have colossal economic and political repercussions. 1 may have given the i m pression earlier that the 'environmental thesis' c a n be regarded as a n alternative to conventional p o l i tical ideologies; if so I apologise. F o r any p o l i t i c a l theory to be complete it must o b v i o u s l y have due regard to both the physical and h u m a n realities of the current w o r l d situation. W h a t , therefore, does the environmental argument i m p l y i n terms of the c o n ventional left-right political debate? F i r s t let us deal on a g l o b a l scale. If one asks the average intelligent person in this country h o w they c a n justify l i v i n g i n conditions of material affluence whilst the majority of the world's p o p u l a -
tion l i v e s i n relative poverty, they w i l l p r o b a bly say something to the effect that, life being what it is, c i v i l i s a t i o n develops i n some areas faster t h a n i n others a n d that we needn't really w o r r y about being so r i c h since the poorer countries w i l l i n time develop a n d catch us up. O n e o f the most i m portant p o l i t i c a l effects of the e n v i r o n m e n t a l argument is that it exposes this idea f o r the absolute n o n sense that it is. T h e poorer countries of the w o r l d have no hope of a l l s i m u l t a n eously enjoying the present European-type standard of l i v i n g since there are not nearly sufficient resources to enable them to do this. O f course we must not make the mistake of assuming that a l l the peoples of the w o r l d w i l l necessarily want to dev e l o p i n the same industrial manner as today's 'developed' countries have. H o w e v e r , it is apparent that very m a n y countries are intent o n d o i n g just this, a n d that they are being greatly encouraged i n their efforts by the developed world. Furthermore it w o u l d be cruelly unrealistic t o deny that the developing countries w i l l have to greatly increase their use of resources s i m p l y i n order to b r i n g their m a t e r i a l standard of l i v i n g u p to a m i n i m u m acceptable level. A s far as politics w i t h i n the developed w o r l d is concerned, the environmental argument totally transthe c o n v e n t i o n a l cends left-right d i c h o t o m y . It has been suggested, rather i r responsibly 1 t h i n k , that the environmental crisis has been caused solely by c a p i t a l i s m and that a l l we have to do is to change to a socialist system a n d the problem will automatically disappear. T h i s is not true since the p r o b l e m c a n only be solved by a ba ndo ni n g the i d e a l of non-stop econo m i c growth in material terms, a n d not merely by changing the way i n w h i c h the fruits of o u r labours are distributed. T h i s of course does not mean that the left-right argument is n o w irrelevant o r unnecessary. It w i l l n a t u r a l l y rem a i n arguable as to what is the most favourable political system under w h i c h to come to terms w i t h the present crisis. 1 have not covered here every aspect of the p r o b l e m by any means a n d I hope to discuss some other issues, p a r t i c u l a r l y that of p o p u l a t i o n growth, i n a further article. MIKE ROBSON ( C he m. P.G.) I.C. E c o - A c t i o n . ' J . E. Lovelock et a l . , Nature 1 9 7 3 , 2 4 1 , 194 a n d refs. t h e r e i n .
your your
pleasure fun
Get FELIX and read Mart
Doughty's
about
bum.
We used to say
-What it's all really about W h e n y o u leave I . C . w h a t are y o u expecting to d o ?
Double Double
That poem at Only with M y last ' " B r o a d s h e e t - i n - F e l i x " article stimulated a response I d i d not anticipate a n d w h i c h J h a d intended to ignore o n two grounds. F i r s t l y , I do not l i k e to, o r w i s h to, indulge i n pointless derogatory a n d b a c k - b i t i n g remarks about anyone b u t prefer to present m y point of view a n d facts i n a relatively straightforward manner without attacking any p a r t i c u l a r i n d i v i d u a l . M y last article was not a i m e d at anyone specifically a n d i f people felt" certain facts h a d been omitted they c o u l d have merely said what these were (any other remarks w o u l d surely be irrelevant to the point of the article). Secondly, I refuse to get i n v o l v e d i n a c h i l d i s h " s l a n g i n g - m a t c h " t h a t w o u l d o n l y serve to waste F e l i x space and bore the rest of its readers. I shall therefore merely answer the points raised i n the guildsheet article a n d curious letter that appeared last week, without being too nasty, a n d hope the matter Will subsequently be dropped (with the exception of new developments of course). T h e letter b y M r . v a n Weaselgrope is h a r d l y w o r t h c o m m e n t i n g o n , not o n l y because o f its obvious l a c k of seriousness, but because the writer has not the courage of his convictions a n d is t o o c o w a r d l y to p u t his o w n name to his literary excreta, b u t prefers to s l i n g his m u d a n d hide b e h i n d some pseudonym. I shall remark however that the "revenge s q u a d " that t o o k the records, files, etc., h a d not i n d u l g e d i n a mascotry r a i d before a n d merely desired to annoy those concerned b y rem o v i n g these articles w h i c h were p r o m p t l y returned within half a n h o u r w i t h apologies. A n y damage i n curred in a r a i d was of course accidental (not deliberate as was claimed) a n d I notice when guilds retrieved the shields they were not reluctant to leave the R . C . S . office i n a mess by k n o c k i n g things over a n d p i n c h i n g copies of the latest Broadsheet (which they w o u l d have received anyway, even though they have difficulty finding someone i n guilds w h o c a n read). T h i s brings me onto the guildsheet article, I ' m glad to see Broadsheet is no longer the o n l y C . C . V . p u b l i c a t i o n to respond to the F e l i x editor's request for regular o p i n i o n articles a n d hope that i n future guildsheet w i l l have something to say that is w o r t h reading (unlike the monotonous format a n d l o w standard of guildsheet itself). I was a little puzzled at the fact that the editor did not write the article (although j u d g i n g b y what I've seen of guildsheet I d o u b t that i t has one) a n d instead this was done b y a gentleman w h o apparently dates bearded y o u n g ladies (I d r a w this c o n c l u s i o n f r o m the fact that he was uncertain of m y sex at the start of the article but managed to guess right by the e n d — w e l l done, sir!). I also wondered w h y this article was o n the sports page, considering the unnecessarily nasty c o m ments it contained, its hardly c r i c k e t , is it chaps? Perhaps they are trying to initiate a new s p o r t — R o n bashing! W e l l , M r . H a n s o n s h o u l d "get his facts r i g h t " , h a d not the guilds twats i n their office attempted to t hrow one of o u r v a l i a n t lads over the b a l c o n y to the g r o un d some ten feet below then perhaps their cheap ashtray w o u l d not have got b r o k e n i n the scuffle. A d m i t t e d l y , some letters for the guilds float got b r o k e n , but M r . H a n s o n has exaggerated the actual n u m b e r f r o m four to his " b r e a k i n g half the letters". I forgot to mention that the R . C . S . sign W A S seen b y o u r lads i n the i n f a m o u s glass cabinet b u t no attempt to retrieve it was made since the cabinet was locked. Perhaps I s h o u l d a d d that the shields are still i n o u r possession as is M r . N e w m a n ' s (guilds president) hat f o l l o w i n g the M o r p h y D a y antics a n d that mysterious V . C . anchor (beautifully painted i n the R . C . S . colours) was wheeled into the R . C . S . U . G . M . last Tuesday. T h e general feeling of those associated w i t h B r o a d sheet is that mascotry is to be encouraged as long as it is done b y "sleight of h a n d " a n d does not degenerate into open warfare, w h i c h was regrettably becoming the case at the end of last term. 1 therefore hope that any developments this term are of a more sedate a n d sophisticated manner. R O N A P P L E B Y (Broadsheet E d i t o r ) .
Feelsick No. 327, Tuesday February Sicks 1973 were Edited by Oliver Dowson F. with implicated, as well, Ron Apple bee, Martin Black, Alasdhair Campbell (Vomitoria L.T.D.), Derek Cummings, Arbro Schasm, David Hobman, Graham King, John Lane, Gordon Reece, Pdavid Rose, Michael SMverleaf, John Stares and Steven Swailes. In alphabetical. Not in alphabetical Peter Crawford. Felix is printed by F. Bailey and Son Ltd.. Dursley, GL1 1 4BL. Advertising is by University Press Representation, Grand Buildings, Trsfalgar Square, WC2. Felix lives on the third floor of the Union Building, address: Imperial College Union, London SW7 2BB. telephone 01-589 511 1 ext 2229 (PO), 2881 (Internal). The Editor lives fa Weeks Hall, Room 14, tel. 01-589 9608 (PO), 4236 (Internal). Contributions and help for Felix are always welcome. Published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board. All rights reserved (g) 1973. Felix is a founder member of the London Student Press Association.
Words
school.
different
then.
The weekly
article
From Martin
D. is a
Sight
for sore
A spark of
eyes.
genius
In a Literary
oasis.
As my mate
Keith
Used to say. He got a call while
on
Nightline night
The other
(my mate Keith Putting
that
aside his
He listened
to
is)
Beano
someone
Depressed By the lack of And
soul
art
Here at IC. I think that's In a
it
nutshell.
Scientists
are
Scientists A nd poets and A re poets and
artists artists.
Ah well. It takes Sorts I
all
suppose.
W i t h a p o l o g i e s to E. J . " Thribb (17) ALASDHAR
CAMPBELL
ON DEMOS L a s t Wednesday a very successful demonstration was held b y students f r o m Thames P o l y a n d E r i t h Poly. T h e y m a r c h e d f r o m ULU to the D E S b y W a t e r l o o station shouting "Grants U p " , "Thatcher Out", "Tories O u t " and " C a n y o u live o n £275 p.a. M r s . T h a t c h e r ? " . O r ganised by r a n k a n d file action committee, m a n y were angry at the l a c k o f leadership which N U S had given. A l l they were told was that they w o u l d not get m u c h support, a n d that they should wait for the d a y of a c t i on o n F e b ruary 21st. M a n y of them being on discretionary or getting no awards grants at a l l , they were not deterred. T h e r e are people at I C who say the same about o u r d e m o t omorr ow, b u t we w i l l n o t be deterred either. T h e r a p i d price i n creases a n d the effects o f the g r o w i n g trade war, the possible cancellation of C o n c o r d e a n d the subsequent c u t b a c k i n jobs for technologists m a k e it essential that we come out now to defend o u r democratic rights. A l l students who want to help m a k e this the most successful c a m p a i g n ever a n d w i s h to steward, m a k e banners or help w i t h mass leafleting o n Wednesday m o r n ing s h o u l d contact the U n i o n Office. PETE
GILLETT
February 8th, 1973
F E L I X
Page 7
FE£IX FINANCIA££Y goes shopping for a Bank! T h i s week FELIX FINANCIALLY is
T h e r e ' s n o q u e s t i o n a b o u t it, b a n k -
going to lower its sights just a little.
ing
When
money on a l l sides. O n the one hand
the
idea of a financial
page
is a
lovely
business.
It
makes
was first conceived, our intention was
t h e y t a k e your m o n e y a n d k e e p it f o r
to
of
you —
to
little
cover
the
whole
spectrum
money problems and particularly
a n d t h e n i n v e s t it to m a k e a
profit
for themselves.
O n the
try to clarify some of the more ob-
other h a n d , they lend y o u money
scure points we are all likely to run up
a n d charge y o u interest o n the loan.
against when we set out into the wide
It's m a r v e l l o u s . T h e y c a n ' t l o s e .
world beyond the comforting walls of Imperial College.
—
O K , that's a very s i m p l i s t i c v i e w of a
complicated
organism.
B ut very
We've talked about such things as
o f t en t h e s i m p l e a p p r o a c h r e v e a l s t h e
isurance policies, home loans, house
f a c t of a m a t t e r . A n d it is t r u e . B a n k s
prices and other related problems that
do make m o n e y out of money, w h e t h -
we are bound to face in the
er g u a r d i n g it o r l e n d i n g i t .
And,
future.
thanks to our financial adviser
But, pursuing the s i m p l e approach
D E R E K E. C U M M I N G S , we think we
m a k e s it o b v i o u s t h a t b a n k s w o u l d n ' t
have covered the field in a more than
e v e n be in b u s i n e s s if it w e r e n o t f o r
usually
their
refreshing
and
interesting
way.
customers.
Customers
are not
j u s t i m p o r t a n t to t h e m , t h e y ' r e
In this issue, however, we felt we
abso-
lutely essential.
ought to get down to the ground floor
So a l l of y o u with bank accounts
and have a look at where most of our
o u g h t to t h i n k a b o u t that, f o r a start.
money comes from. So we're going to
Like
talk about banks and bank managers.
needs y o u .
It happens that they are the subjects about which D E R E K E. C U M M I N G S will be speaking when he delivers the third of his General Studies lectures on February 13.
anyone who has ever crossed swords
army,
your
Leaflets,
pamphlets,
handouts,
display
posters,
advertisements
and television are all weapons
they
My
o w n favourite
approach
is in
with a bank manager (and I imagine
the
home w i t h the bank manager
f r o m that particular battle) since C u m -
broom cupboard —
mings' guest that day will be the man-
k n o w one or t w o bank managers
ager of a bank less than a mile away
l o v e to l o c k in a c u p b o a r d a n d t h e n
I.C.
commercial
showing
the happy in t h e
if o n l y b e c a u s e I I'd
l o s e t h e k e y ! B u t a s i d e f r o m that, t h i s a d p o i n t s u p a b a s i c truth a b o u t the
His name is Roger Roseboom. W e think he's a bank manager with a difference: a man who has the almost revolutionary
view that banks —
rather his bank —
business of helping people rather than just counting their money or writing smoothly insulting notes when they're a pound overdrawn. He's coming along to answer your questions about banks and their managers — think,
how they work, how
their
attitudes
they
towards
stu-
He'll lend an ear next Tuesday and who knows? —
he might
even
lend you some money one day. But he's
a shrewd
fortune
can depend
on your
bank
manager as an i n d i v i d u a l . A n d t h i s is a s e r i o u s p o i n t . U n l e s s y o u h a v e a lot of m o n e y , t h e r e a r e b o u n d to be o c c a s i o n s w h e n t h e b a n k c a n h e l p y o u o u t o f a fix. T h a t ' s w h e n y o u h a v e to w a l k into t h e b a n k a n d face the manager. P r o v i d i n g y o u r needs are not outrageous, it's odds o n that he c o u l d h e l p y o u , s i n c e b a n k managers have a large degree of autonomy and c a n lend fairly substant i a l a m o u n t s of m o n e y w i t h o u t refe r e n c e to a n y o n e e l s e . B u t w i l l he h e l p y o u ?
dents and so on.
—
b a n k i n g b u s i n e s s , n a m e l y , that y o u r
or
should be in the
cookie and he'll
looking for some penetrating
be
ques-
tions. But before we put him in the hot seat, we asked our man' to give us his ideas on what banks and bank managers ought to be about.
They have the powers. The trouble be is that so many of them cannot bothered to use them, to take the risks, to back their judgment. Luckily, a lot of those gents in striped pants and black coats are being pensioned off and replaced by younger men with a younger outlook.
And it's not only a question of being able to borrow a few quid, is it? An intelligent and aware bank manager will be a man with whom you can confidently discuss the whole range of money matters.
to t r y to g e t y o u to p u t y o u r
money where their m o u t h is.
most of us could show a few scars
from
Remember that, in your search, you have one factor working for you. In a highly competitive situation, where all banks are going out of their way to attract custom, they have been forced to change their traditional outlook. These days, they have to make themselves more attractive to the public. They have to be prepared to lend money on much less secure grounds than they previously demanded. And the decisions on questions like that rest firmly with the man in the back room—the manager.
Which type you choose is entirely your concern. It's as simple as that.
m i l l i o n s on trying to attract c u s t o m ers.
w i t h the manager before y o u open a n account. T a l k to h i m , tell h i m your situation a n d w h a t sort of services you expect from the bank. A s k h i m questions, pose a p r o b l e m or t w o . Y o u ' l l soon find out whether he's your s o r t of b l o k e . If he i s n ' t — l e a v e .
bank
For that reason, the banks spend
use
T h i s lecture will be of interest to
Kitchener's
D E R E K C U M M I N G S will be delivering the second of his four General Studies lectures today at 1.30 p.m. in Physics Lecture Theatre 1. (More than just a lecture, quite an experience in fact!). Today he'll be grilling — and inviting you to grill — a leading building society manager. If you think you're ever likely to buy a house, you owe it to yourself to drop everything and go to the lecture. See you there!
It d e p e n d s o n the m a n a n d o n y o u . After a l l , y o u chose h i m , didn't you? W h e n y o u o p e n e d y o u r first b a n k a c c o u n t , y o u c o u l d h a v e g o n e to a n y b a n k in the l a n d .
B a n k s have l e a r n e d s o m e p a i n f u l l e s s o n s in t h e p a s t f e w y e a r s . T h e y ' v e s e e n a lot of t h e i r b u s i n e s s s i p h o n e d off b y s u c h i n s t i t u t i o n s a s m e r c h a n t banks a n d the finance houses. They got i n t o t h e b u s i n e s s w h i c h t h e b a n k s o u g h t to h a v e m o n o p o l i s e d . In f a c t , t h e b a n k s a l l o w e d it to g o b y d e f a u l t , s i m p l y because they weren't prepared to t a k e t h e r i s k s . But these days, they're right back into it. So why sign a hire purchase agreement at an inflated rate of real interest when you might be able to do it more cheaply with a bank loan? A f t e r a l l , a b a n k is j u s t a n o t h e r s h o p — e x c e p t t h a t it s e l l s c a s h . W h y on earth s h o u l d n ' t y o u , the customer, feel e n t i t l e d to u s e it o n t h o s e t e r m s ? // you don't do that, the reason probably is that your bank manager doesn't encourage you to do so. If you're in that situation, leave little him to go on sending out his overdraft notes and go and find a manager who knows what modern banking is all about. L o o k at it t h i s w a y . If y o u w e n t t o a d o c t o r w i t h a b r o k e n a r m a n d he p r e s c r i b e d a s p i r i n , y o u ' d s o o n find a n o t h e r doGtor, w o u l d n ' t y o u ?
If y o u r m a n t u r n s y o u d o w n o n w h a t y o u feel is a r e a s o n a b l e r e q u e s t , then there's only one c o n c l u s i o n . Y o u ' v e c h o s e n the w r o n g b a n k m a n ager.
A s w i t h medicine, so with finance. A l l t h e f a c i l i t i e s y o u are l i k e l y to n e e d are there — s o m e w h e r e . Y o u h a v e to find t h e m . O r r a t h e r , f i n d t h e m a n w h o is p r e p a r e d to m a k e t h e m a v a i l able to y o u . , .
T h e a n s w e r to that is to s h o p a r o u n d . G o to a b a n k a n d h a v e a c h a t
A n d that m e a n s g o i n g for a b a n k m a n a g e r .
shopping—
Just
out
of
interest,
FINANCIALLY CUMMINGS
took at
FELIX
DEREK
his word.
E. We
went to talk to a bank manager — R o g e r Roseboom himself. These are some of the things he said: "As I see it, banks have a duty to offer a real service to their customers, whether they be students, property developers or old age pensioners. And by service I mean more than just taking their money and making them wait in line to cash a cheque. Service means listening to and trying to understand their problems and then, if it is in any way possible, helping them to solve them. That, I think, is a bank manager's prime responsibility to his customer. "Now students. You ask what my bank can offer a student that another bank cannot. And the answer is very little. Any bank can offer the same facilities. Whether they are used depends on the manager. "What I offer any student is an intelligent dialogue and a willingness to help them in the studbest way I can. We want ent accounts—every bank does. student We realise that today's is tomorrow's man of property. If any student from Imperial College came to me and made it clear he had worked hard to get there, was working hard to get his degree and was going to make the grade when he left college, I'd jump at the chance to get his account in my bank. I'd give him a cheque book and a cheque card to back it with. I'd handle his account without charges—although I would have to charge interest on any sum overdrawn, naturally. And when summer term came and times were hard, I'd be prepared to listen if he wanted something to tide him over. I'd make it quite clear that I wouldn't expect him to go and blue the money on a new tape recorder, but if he was sensible and impressed me when talking across my desk, I'd very likely be able to help. I already have a number of student accounts, and I think I've been fair with them all. "It's my job to listen to problems and to try to unravel them. After all, a talk with your bank manager ought not to be like an audience with the Pope. I like to see my customers. I make my judgements on them through meeting them face to face and I'll back my judgment every time. "That's what a bank ger's job is all about".
mana-
Page 8
FELIX
MARTINS
o c k e / Last Saturday the 1st and 3rd X I s travelled to H a r r o w by a team coach. H o w e v e r , this c o a c h was delayed for forty minutes whilst a l l those who had brought cars to go i n found somewhere to park them. F r o m the start trouble was evident, since the strongmen of the committee, R o n P a ' m e r and M i c k D o w n s , had to persuade the driver that H a r r o w means Stanmore. N o t to be outdone got well a n d t ruly lost i n H a r r o w — o r was it Stanmore? T h i n g s then became more confused as the two teams had t o be dropped off at t w o different grounds. W e l l the 3rd X I were taken to the door, but the 1st X I — even w i t h the help of a n A - Z — had to c l i m b over a r a i l w a y bridge a n d trundle through m u d d y fields before they caught sight of the mud-heap that became the p i t c h . M e n t i o n here should be made of J o h n A s t l e y w h o thought it w o u l d be better to go by scooter a r m e d w i t h a n A - Z . A f t e r a n even greater t o ur of H a r r o w than the c o a c h , J o h n finally found the 3rd X I g r o u n d , but then decided it was too late to try a n d find the let X I ; so he went home! T h e m a t c h itself — shortened due to our late a r r i v a l — w a s very average. H a r r o w , even w i t h a n e x t r a m a n , d i d not live u p to expectations as members of the 1st d i v i s i o n of the M i d d l e s e x League. T h e first half ended w i t h a b l a n k score-sheet, m a i n l y d u e to the home side's erratic shooting. T h e second half had some m e m o r a b l e scenes: M i c k D o w n s clearing off the goal-line w i t h everybody else beat; M i c k D o w n s — again in defence — w i l d l y swiping, but missing the ball a n d k n o b b l i n g T i m Hansen's shins. H e even swore after the match he wasn't pissed the night before. T h e final score was 1 — 1 C o l i n D y e r scoring for I C after a fluff by the keeper. T h e equaliser by H a r r o w followed a free h i t f r o m just outside the circle. T e a m : S. B o u l t o n ; R . C a m e r o n , R . P a l m e r ; B . E v a n s , T . H a n s o n , G . Popple; A . T a t c h e l l , M . Downs, J . G a h i r , C . Dyer. R u m o u r has it that the 2nd X I lost 3 — 0 and the 3rd X I drew 1—1, J o h n A n d r e w s being the scorer; b u t r u m o u r of the result of last Wednesday's 1st X I m a t c h against B r u n e i still has to seep through to darkest C l a p h a m . Doesn't a n y b o d y k n o w where the M a t h ' s letter racks are? A f t e r last week's report M i c k D o w n s demanded a n apology for his m e n t i o n b u t I m o v e that he should d r i n k a pint of H e i n e k e n since he arranged a Sunday m o r n i n g m a t c h w h i c h w a s c al l ed off b y the o p p o s i t i o n — a fact 1 d i d not learn unt i l I arrived at H a r l i n g t o n .
F e b r u a r y 6 t h , 1973
STUDENT WORLD BIRMINGHAM
Readers of other C o l lege publications w i l l have noticed that I a m once again contributing to B R O A D S H E E T (wotzat? —Ed). If the editors of a n y other publications guildsheet f o r e x a m p l e want to improve the whole tone of their periodical they s h o u l d d r o p m e note (preferably blue w i t h a picture of H M the Q u e e n , V i s i t o r to I m p e r i a l College) a n d I w i l l see what c a n be done.
parking
There is insufficient space f o r a l l those s t u dents w h o have p a r k i n g stickers to p a r k their cars. Therefore no permits w i l l be issued until further notice.
o n Wint W i n e w i l l be sold by the bottle in Southside B a r . T h e r e w i l l be a good selection of low and m e d i u m - priced wines which should compete with W A I T . . . sorry l o c a l shops. T h e College C e l l a r s are very w e l l stocked and i t is possible to purchase w i n e i n b u l k — at a discount (my boy?) F u r t h e r details and list f r o m M r . V i c t o r M o o n e y (int. 2878).
motor sport
on
poo^t
SUSSEX
UNIVERSITY
n o w decided to c o m e out on R e n t Strike,
students are complaining
despite a decision of last term not to d o
disciplinary
staff
and
that the inter-
teaching system is being dis-
so. T h e result, however, is disappoint-
carded.
ing: only one of the seven halls has c o m e
science to arts people and arts to science
out i n support.
The scheme
involves
teaching
The Communications
people. One of the problems
is that there
Secretary o f the U n i v e r s i ty U n i o n told
are more arts than science
students.
a F e l i x reporter i n early J a n u a r y that each hall's J C R h a d i n d i v i d u a l l y voted against strike a c t i o n ; i t w o u l d seem that
L A N C A S T E R students N i n a T h o m a s a n d Geoffrey Foote, b a n n e d f r o m attend-
they are s t i c k i ng to that decision. " R e d -
ing political
b r i c k " , their newspaper,
disrupting a right-wing
w a s the o n l y
meetings
o n campus f o r meeting,
other i n the country besides " F e l i x " t o
withdrawn
r u n a special R e n t Strike issue at the
C h a n c e l l o r , C h a r l e s Carter.
their appeals
have
to the V i c e -
start of term. UNIVERSITY
LEEDS
been plagued salesmen
on
U N I V E R S I T Y has
seven
by hordes
of
visits
Assurance
last Sunday
alone.
ate Assurance Services
Bureau,
Lynn
and the University which
in Imperial
are not known
than
"Leeds
names the firms as the
OPEN
have
— one hall had no less
Student"
Service,
halls
UNIVERSITY
number
more
than
applicants
10,000 . . . even
though they are now only six weeks their six-month
enrolment
into
period.
GraduT h e Steering C o m m i t t e e of the N U S
Assurance Assurance
STUDENT
to operate
FERENCE April
College.
voted
awards
JOURNALISTS'
CON-
to be held i n L o n d o n i n last week
to abolish a l l
f o r student newspapers,
maga-
N O T T I N G H A M halls seem to be los-
zines a n d journalists at once, a n d there
ing a l o t of glasses — so one of them
w i l l thus be n o P a p e r o f the Y e a r o r
has set u p a deposit system f o r half a n d
Journalist o f the Y e a r this year.
pint glasses. T h e deposit i s lOp, refund-
Committee, made u p of about ten edi-
The
able o n return o f the glass . . . b u t i t
tors f r o m a r o u n d the country, has set u p
looks as if the hall c o u l d lose out, as
sub-committees to investigate the setting
there is nothing to stop people collecting
u p of a N a t i o n a l Student Press
glasses f r o m elsewhere and c l a i m i n g the deposit!
and
a National
Space
Service
Brokerage
SPECIAL SERVICES FOR STUDENTS
Cheap Weekend Coach Travel from London to : Bath Birmingham Bradford Bristol Leeds Leicester Loughborough Manchester Nottingham Sheffield Salford
B y the time y o u read this, the n e w improved College B l o c k B a r s h o u l d be open a n d serving a wide range of ales.
Evan Evans Tours L t d . of Russell Square, London have made a p p l i c a t i o n s to introduce w e e k e n d services from London to the t o w n s s h o w n , t o b e o p e r a t e d d u r i n g u n i v e r s i t y t e r m s at t h e fares s h o w n b e l o w . R e n t a w e l d Treasure H u n t Rally T h e ever active G u i l d s M o t o r C l u b held a T r e a sure H u n t R a l l y i n the w i l d s of Hertfordshire o n F r i d a y evening (2nd F e b ruary). E l e v e n enthusiastic crews set o u t f r o m the start near W i n d s o r , a n d ten managed to find the finish. The infamous Perry N e w t o n h a d to be rescued at one point as h i s c a r took to the water l i k e a d u c k — i t loved going i n , but w o u l d n ' t c o m e o u t again. M a r t C l e m o w m a n aged to find m o r e m u d than anyone else, but m a n aged to finish. The rally was w o n by Simon Briscoe (again!) with John Coxon and Pete W i l k i n s second a n d t h i r d , and the majority of crews seemed to have enjoyed the event. v
BATH BIRMINGHAM B R A D F O R D ... BRISTOL LEEDS ... LEICESTER LOUGHBOROUGH MANCHESTER NOTTINGHAM SHEFFIELD ... SALFORD
Time from London Friday 1430 1500 1600 1430 1600 1400 1400 1630 1400 1600 1630
Time from Provinces Sunday 2050 1945 1800 2015 1830 2040 2015 1815 1945 1910 1745
Proposed student Fare Weekend Return £1.00 £1.00 £1.50 £1.00 £1.50 £1.00 £1.10 £1.50 £1.25 £1.50 £1.50
T H E S E P R O P O S A L S C A N O N L Y C O M E INTO BEING WITH YOUR S U P P O R T . If y o u a r e i n t e r e s t e d i n s u p p o r t i n g t h e s e a p p l i c a t i o n s , p l e a s e h e l p b y c o m p l e t i n g t h e c o u p o n b e l o w a n d p l a c i n g it i n o n e o f t h e large e n v e l o p e s m a r k e d " E V A N E V A N S T O U R S " attached to c o l l e g e noticeboards I M M E D I A T E L Y . I a m a full time student a n d I a m interested service to
in t h e s p e c i a l
to y o u ) a n d w o u l d expect to u s e the service on o c c a s i o n s per t e r m if g r a n t e d . NAME ADDRESS
COLLEGE E V A N E V A N S T O U R S LIMITED 72/74
RUSSELL S Q U A R E , L O N D O N
weekend
( p l e a s e fill in t o w n of interest
LesWilkins M.E.3.
GIRL wanted to share large room in comfortable self-contained flat. £ 2 5 per cal. mth. Call at Flat 15, 19 Courtfield Road, SW7 any evening (top flat).
for
advertising.
W C 1 H OJZ