http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1976/1976_0418_A

FELIX DINNER l o n 17 M A Y T I C K E T S rom the F E L I X O F F I C E .

N L Y £ 4 . 5 0 s i n g l e and 8.00 d o u b l e .

C E F O U N D E D IN 1949

N o . 418

NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION F r i d a y 7th M a y , 1976

FREE!

p Scandalous says Teague Bike thefts A B I C Y C L E , b e l o n g i n g to Mr R B J o c e , was stolen last Wednesday from the rear of the C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g department.

The b i c y c l e , a red, 10—speed Styer C l u b m a n w i t h a 2 4 . - i n c h frame, i s v a l u e d at £80.

The bicycle was chained but not to a f i x e d o b j e c t and w a s removed d u r i n g the d a y .

T h i s i n c i d e n t i s the l a t e s t i n a s e r i e s of t h e f t s that h a v e t a k e n p l a c e r e c e n t l y . M o s t of the t h e f t s take p l a c e d u r i n g the day and are u s u a l l y by s c h o o l c h i l d r e n p l a y i n g truant, s a i d Mr D a w s o n the C o l l e g e Security Officer.

The College i s becoming increasingly concerned over t h e s e t h e f t s . Mr D a w s o n i s a s k i n g a l l b i c y c l e o w n e r s to e n s u r e that t h e i r c y c l e s are securely fastened and to report thefts immediately.

A n y i n f o r m a t i o n on the m i s s i n g b i c y c l e s s h o u l d be d i r e c t e d to him at the S e c u r i t y O f f i c e i n the S h e r f i e l d B u i l d i n g .

Loo changeover Members of the U n i o n are hereby informed that from Monday 17 May, the m e n ' s toilets near the Union Lower Refectory will become the l a d i e s t o i l e t s , and the l a d i e s t o i l e t s on the first floor of the b u i l d opposite the ICWA ing lounge will become the men's toilets.

This will remain in f o r c e u n t i l further notice.

IT APPEARS that the H a r d s h i p F u n d set up by the U G C in a l l u n i v e r s i t i e s i s to be p h a s e d out'.

This is the i m p l i c a t i o n of a directive sent to UGC the College via the U n i v e r s i t y of London'.

Only those students who were h e l p e d by the F u n d t h i s s e s s i o n c a n be h e l p e d a g a i n session, but only in next r e s p e c t of the £70 i n c r e a s e i m p l e m e n t e d t h i s s e s s i o n . It w i l l not be p o s s i b l e to u s e the Fund to h e l p freshers and s t u d e n t s who h a v e not u s e d the F u n d b e f o r e when the 30% increase in fees is i m p l e m e n t e d nex t s e s s i o n .

O v e r £11,000 h a s b e e n p a i d out of the C o l l e g e ' s H a r d s h i p F u n d to 33 home s t u d e n t s a n d 127 o v e r s e a s s t u d e n t s up t i l l last February. The Hardship F u n d w o u l d h a v e to be a b o l i s h e d o n c e a l l the continuing s t u d e n t s u s i n g the F u n d h a d left the C o l l e g e . T h e U G C h a s y e t to i s s u e a p o l i c y statement o v e r the q u e s t i o n o f the F u n d .

In a l e t t e r to Mr P e t e r Teague ICU President, i n f o r m i n g h i m of t h i s r u l i n g , MrPeter M ee, Colleg e Registrar s a y s there i s no indication that t h i s r u l i n g w a s l i k e l y to be c h a n g e d .

Mr T e a g u e h a s w r i t t e n to the R e c t o r o v e r the m a t t e r . H e h a s a l s o w r i t t e n to the N U S who a p p a r e n t l y d i d not k n o w of t h i s r u l i n g . C o m m e n t i n g o n the r u l i n g , Mr T e a g u e s a i d it w a s "totally s c a n d u l o u s " . He will be a s k i n g the R e c t o r to s t a n d by h i s p l e d g e that no student w i l l h a v e to l e a v e the C o l l e g e due to the i n c r e a s e i n t u i t i o n fees.

Mr Davies, the College S e c r e t a r y , s a i d y e s t e r d a y that he stood by the Rector's statement.

Students in f i n a n c i a l d i f f i c u l t y u n a b l e to u s e the F u n d nex t s e s s i o n "will be sympathetically c o n s i d e r e d by the C o l l e g e " , he s a i d .

Hain back at IC F O R M E R IC student, Peter Hain, in conversation last T u e s d a y , urged the C o l l e g e to boycott South African g o o d s and break off a l l l i n k s with apartheid.

Mr H a i n w a s s p e a k i n g at a m e e t i n g of the L i b e r a l C l u b .

In h i s t a l k h e d e a l t with identification evidence in criminal prosecutions, using h i s own recent experience as a g r a p h i c i l l u s t r a t i o n of h o w the l a w c a n go w r o n g . H e warned that a completely i n n o c e n t b y s t a n d e r c o u l d be p l u c k e d out and a " d e m o r a l i s i n g and terrifying experience", i n f l i c t e d upon h i m i n w h i c h , " f a c t s become d r e a m s . " D i s c u s s i n g h i s c a s e , he r e v e a l e d that the t r i a l h a d "ground through" for two w e e k s , spending £50,000 of p u b l i c m o n e y , o n the e v i d e n c e o f three s c h o o l b o y s a n d a f l e e t i n g g l i m p s e , by a c a s h i e r , o f the b a n k r o b b e r . H e d i d not t h i n k that the c a s h i e r , who identified him, was dishonest, m e r e l y m i s t a k e n . She h a d p i c k e d h i m out i n a n i d e n t i t y p a r a d e ; o n the s a m e day the E v e n i n g Standard c a r r i e d a p h o t o g r a p h of Mr H a i n . However, five other witnesses still failed to identify him.

He claimed that there were a whole series of "trigger happy" police prosecutions on doubtful identification evidence and c i t e d the now f a m o u s c a s e of George D a v i s (OK?).

P r o s e c u t i o n s brought s o l e l y on identification evidence "provided more injustices t han a n y other p a r t of the L a w " and he a d v o c a t e d t h a t n o - o n e s h o u l d be c h a r g e d o n identification evidence without corroboration.

Mr H a i n did not d i s m i s s the n o t i o n t h a t a South A f r i c a n agent i n L o n d o n w a s d i s c r e d i t i n g h i m , but h e thought it u n l i k e l y .

Pefer Hain Answering questions a f t e r w a r d s , Mr H a i n , a w e l l camknown anti-apartheid paigner since his days in M e c h E n g I, (he s t o p p e d the ' 7 0 tour), thought that B r i t a i n s h o u l d h e l p f u n d the South A f r i c a n liberation movements.

Rhodesia and South West A f r i c a would almost certainly a c h i e v e m a j o r i t y r u l e , a n d it w a s better that the t r a n s i t i o n be s e i f t . H e s a w no a l t e r n a t i v e to armed s t r u g g l e . " U n f o r t u n ately violence works", he said.

T h e future o f South A f r i c a he b e l i e v e d to be i n the h a n d s of the U S A and he welcomed Dr Kissinger's statement of support for African Nationalists.

Finally, Peter Hain, billed as "everybody's favourite radical", also criticised J e r e m y T h o r p e ' s i d e a of the L i b e r a l Party a s , " 5 0 years out o d a t e . " A n y o n e b e l i e v i n g in the Liberals traditional s t a n c e , he thought s h o u l d j o i n the L a b o u r P a r t y , the L i b e r a l P a r t y w a s not a p a r t y of Government but a "radica' alternative."

2

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WANTED

WANTED

Flat for 4 persons near' the college from September.

Contact Joanna Smith via Life Sciences letter-rack^^

COLOUR PHOTOS U R G E N T L Y WANTED

A Sennet Officer to liaise with said newspaper on IC matters. Budding journalists should contact Derrick Everett in the Union Office.

SUMMER F L A T S

Anybody who has any colour photos (transparencies or prints) of events at IC, particularly Morphy Day and Rag events, is asked to contact Paul Ekpenyong or Clive Dewey at the FELIX Office as soon as possible.

11 anyone hat, a flat they would like to let to IC students over the summer vacation or if they would like to rent one, could they please see Dave Ra wns 1 ey (Studen t R es idence officer) in the Union Office.

FOR S A L E AKAI 4000 UB. 1 year old.

Good condition. £165 ono.

(Price inclusive of KOSS headphones KO 727B in good nick, dust cover and spare spool). Contact Paul Ekpenyong in the FELIX office Int 2881.

A purse belonging to SA JACKSON has been found in the Seven Kings district and handed in to Ilford Police Station. Could Mr/ Ms Jackson please contact Jen in the Union Office as soon as possible.

Orienteering Cub Meeting and Lunch 12.30pm Union SCR

Socialist Society AGM Tues 11th May 1.00pm Union SCR

Accommodation

DEBATING SOCIETY

FOUND

F o r Students A l r e a d y A t T h e U n i v e r s i t y Session 1976/77

1. S i n g l e s t u d e n t s requiring accommodation a) room plus breakfast with/without other meals, single or shared b) room with cooking facilities, single or shared (for flats see 2 below) should apply by appointment to the appropriate branch of the Accommodation Office between mid-May and the e n d of term, preferably when they have a few free days in order to look at addresses. An address can then be reserved provisionally, no retaining fee is payable over the summer for bookings made at this time, but a deposit may be required.

After the end of term p r i o r i t y for these types of accommodation is given to students who will be new to London in October.

2. S i n g l e s t u d e n t s requiring a flat for two or more people (ie one room plus) own kitchen, or larger) may enquire from mid-May onwards whether any offers of this type have been made for October but, with only a few exceptions, it is not possible to book flats in advance (unless full rent is to be paid throughout the vacation).

Therefore it is generally fruitless to begin the search until about three weeks before the f i r s t rent payment can be made, and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.

3. M a r r i e d s t u d e n t s should apply by appointment (to the Malet Street Office), about three weeks before the f i r s t rent payment can be made and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.

A S T H E M O R E o b s e r v a n t of y o u w i l l h a v e n o t i c e d , a new society h a s recently been f o r m e d , t h e Imperial C o l l e g e D e b a t i n g S o c i e t y . Some of u s with cultural and o r a t o r i c a l leanings had noticed the serious lack of regular d e b a t e w i t h i n the C o l l e g e , and have gone to some trouble to remedy t h i s s a d deficiency.

Our introductory m e e t i n g t o o k p l a c e at the end of last term, attended by many interested persons.

After c o m p l e t i n g the t e d i o u s d e t a i l s of d e c i d i n g on our c o n s t i t u t i o n and e l e c t i n g a f u l l complement of c o m m i t t e e m e m b e r s , there w a s much d i s c u s s i o n about future m e e t n i g s . Our a i m i s to i n v o l v e throughout t h e C o l l e g e , both s t u d e n t s a n d staff in thought-provoking d i s c u s s i o n .

T h e l e v e l of d e b a t e w i l l be m a i n t a i n e d b e t w e e n that of a serious ICU p o l i t i c a l debate and the more light-hearted d i s c u s s i o n s to be found at CCU meetings. A s an e n couragement to prospective members, we already have two cups to be w o n : a f r e s h e r ' s c u p , a n d a trophy for debate between the three constituent college unions.

T h e f i r s t m e e t i n g of the society will take place around the t hir d w e e k of t h i s t e r m , the motion under d e b a t e b e i n g : "This house believes an Arts faculty would lower the standard of excellence at Imperial College".

AH interested parties should attend t h i s m e e t i n g , d e t a i l s of w h i c h w i l l be a d v e r t i s e d throughout C o l l e g e .

H a v e y o u bought any f a u l t y g o o d s l a t e l y ? H a v i n g t r o u b l e w i t h the l a n d l o r d ? H a d a c a r a c c i d e n t ? G o t to a p p e a r i n court?

KNOW your legal rights!

There is free legal advice given by LSE Law students every Wednesday at the Student Welfare Centre from 12.30- 1.30pm at the top of the Union Building.

The Centre is open Mon — Fri, 12.30 — 1.30pm for general info on contraception, abortion, accommodation, N H S benefits etc. Tube and bus maps given away. Time Out and N U S discount handbook available for consultation.

H A L L DINNERS -

SUMMER T E R M

1976.

Held on T u e s d a y evenings in the Sherfield Building.

7.00 - 7.30pm Sherry.

7.30pm Dinner.

Charges:

Hall Dinner. £1.95p (plus lOp sherry) Wine Hall Dinner £2.75p (wine and sherry included)

Dates":

11th May 25th May - Wine Hall Dinner.

8th June 22nd June — Wine Hall Dinner

Dress:

Lounge suits, except for the last Wine Hall Dinner of term when evening dress (black tie) will be worn.

Cheques:

Made payable to "Imperial College' NOTICE

CONGRATULATIONS to Anne Johnson & Jamie S'ee on t h e i r e n g a g i n g e n t e r p r i s e — L o v e and P e a c e A H their f r i e n d s

The BBC would like student's to participate in live discussion programme (very general discussion).

Starting next term (live broadcasts).

Anyone interested see Derrick Everett.

U

GREAT HALL 1p

Pictures by Phil Dean

FELIX Photographic

Competition T h e c o m p e t i t i o n i s open to a l l s t a f f a n d s t u d e n t s of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , e x c e p t members of t h e F E L I X s t a f f .

T h i s y e a r a l l e n t r i e s must be B & W or C o l o u r p r i n t s .

There w i l l be nine c a t e g o r i e s : B&W

Portrait Landscape Natural H i s t o r y Photojournalism General

COLOUR Portrait Landscape NaturaJ H i s t o r y General

1. P r i n t s must p o s s e s s a s u r f a c e area greater than 4 8 s q inches.

2 . P r i n t s may b e mounted or unmounted . O n l y unmounted p r i n t s may b e r e p r o d u c e d .

3 . F E L I X r e s e r v e s t h e right to r e p r o d u c e any e n t r i e s .

O n l y p r i n t s made on g l o s s y paper may b e r e p r o d u c e d .

4 . If there are i n s u f f i c i e n t e n t r i e s for any of t h e c a t e g o r i e s p r i n t s e n t e r e d f o r t h o s e c a t e g o r i e s w H l b e j u d g e d under th ; G e n e r a l s e c t i o n .

5 . E n t r i e s s h o u l d h a v e t h e n a m e , department a n d y e a r of the p h o t o g r a p h e r a t t a c h e d to e a c h p r i n t .

6. T h e r e i s an e n t r a n c e f e e of l O p p e r c o m p e t i t o r .

A l l f e e s w i l l be a d d e d to the p r i z e m o n e y .

7. L a s t date f o r entry i s 2.00pm on F r i d a y 2 1 s t M a y .

8. T h e r e w i l l b e c a s h p r i z e s .

9. T h e judges d e c i s i o n w i l l be f i n a l .

10. P r i n t s

should be delivered

to t h e F E L I X

office.

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A Taxing Problem?

THE S T A N D A R D s y s t e m of personal t a x a t i o n - in this cou/itry i s the " P a y A s Y o u E a r n " , ( P A Y E ) system which operates a s follows:E a c h Taxpayer is a l l o w e d to earn a c e r t a i n amount of money free of tax e a c h y e a r , and o n l y p a y s tax on what he e a r n s o v e r t h i s amount. T h i s amount c a l l e d y o u r ' a l l o w a n c e ' , v a r i e s from p e r s o n to p e r s o n and i s dependant on p e r s o n a l c i r c u m s t a n c e s (marital s t a t u s , no. of children etc).

For e x a m p l e , the a l l o w a n c e for a single person is currently £675 pa (soon to be more, T U C willing).

This allowance is split e q u a l l y over the w e e k s o' the y e a r (tax y e a r , that is) s o that each week you w i l l have 1/52 of your a l l o w a n c e a s f r e e - p a y , that i s , not t a x e d . T h e w e e k s of the tax y e a r are numbered from 1 to 52 (5th A p r i l o n w a r d s ) and the system operates c u m u l a t i v e l y . T h e tax p a i d in any w e e k i s c a l c u l a t e d in the following way:-

1. F i n d t o t a l pay to d a t e ( i n c . t h i s w e e k ) for current tax y e a r .

2 . F i n d t o t a l tax p a i d to d a t e for current tax y e a r .

3. F i n d free-pay to date ( a l l o w a n c e / 5 2 x tax w e e k no.)

Tax this week (1 - 3) x 35%) - 2 tax-rate - 35% T h i s i s f i n e if y o u h a p p e n to be in f u l l - t i m e e m p l o y m e n t .

It becomes much more complicated if you are a s t u d e n t — y o u w i l l o n l y be w o r k i n g a few w e e k s in the year.

Consider a single student, working over the E a s t e r r e c e s s , e a r n i n g £40pw a n d returning to c o l l e g e on 26th A p r i l .

Tax F r e e pay P a i d to d a t e £13 nil £26 £9-45 £39 £18-90

T a x wk T o t a l pay 1 £40 2 £80 3 £120 B a c k to c o l l e g e 4 £120 5 £120 6 £120

£52 £65 £78

£28-35 £23-80 £19-25

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Across 1. W a s t h i s a s a t i r e of t h e s e a r c h for 1 dow n and 38 a c r o s s (7,3,5).

12. A sort of N e w Z e a l a n d bird.

13. F r i g h t e n a letter bear er .

15. Sound of r e p u b l i c in a n g e r .

16. E c i f i r o .

17. R e t t i n g g u i t a r .

19b Y o u n g f i s h s o u n d s l i k e Stardust.

21. A Scott's purpose 2 2 . A m e r i c a n loo b o y .

23b A D e a d pound formed w i t h art.

24b F * * k a d u c k , but t h i s i s

m i n u s £4-55 m i n u s £4-55 m i n u s £4-55

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5 3 . N a k e d k i n g beneath 5 5 . P e r m i t to go W e s t ?

56. R e c o n j C o . letter s e n d s out 58. L e g at top 59. N o t on 58 60. Join t 6 1 . S e e 58 and 59 64. Cut price chick noise 67. F o o t s about? R a c e d 6 9 b A rope m u s i c a l 72.1 doubt the one in 1 a c r o s s Is the same a s e v e r y o n e t h i n k s of in a s s o c i a t i o n w i t h the author.

75. Tyre lol - for arbitrary distribution.

76. Impetuous d a s h 77. C o u l d be c a n n e d heat 78. B u c k e t ?

7 9 . S e e 78 8 0 . S p o t t e d before the e y e s for intelligence, personality, etc (9,6)

PRIZE CROSSWORD No. 3 U 1

Rather than (sic) mess about l i k e t h i s the T a x m a n has arranged a special concession for students w h e r e b y they s i g n an under t a k i n g not to e a r n more t h a n t h e i r a l l o w a n c e in the t a x y e a r and he d o e s not k e e p on t a k i n g it away w i t h one hand and g i v i n g it b a c k w i t h the other.

T h i s d o e s not mean that students are exempt from p a y i n g Income T a x (a p o p u l a r m i s c o n c e p t i o n ) . T h e y are j u s t a s l i a b l e ; t h e y j u s t d o not e a r n a s much a s n o n - s t u d e n t s .

At all times your tax p o s i t i o n i s p e r s o n a l to y o u .

Y o u r parents do not a f f e c t the amount of tax y o u h a v e to pay a l t h o u g h , if y o u are an undergrad, you w i l l a f f e c t the amount y o u r parents pay - If they are c l a i m i n g a child a l l o w a n c e for s u p p o r t i n g y o u ,

queer.

26. U S g a o l 2 9 . Same a s 22 d o w n .

3 0 . See 45 (1,2) 3 1 . A p a r t i c a l for a c a s t l e .

34. R o b a c u p .

3 5 . A boy back from s p a c e .

38. S e e 1 d o w n .

4 0 . K i n g ' s y e a r s i s top d o g .

42.1 w a s not w e i r d to back an even match.

4 3 . L o t s of b e a t l e s ' f i l m s ?

46. S r e t a p 48. A conventional middle class business man of Sinclair L e w i s .

50b Tut a tide in p o s i t i o n

1 1. T h e s e a r c h of p h o l l s i p h e r s (of a n n o t a t e d I a c r o s s ; . i 2. T h o u s i n g l e f o o l .

3. C a t c h the pure sum 4. F o r e i g n f i d d l e r from f l o w e r i n g f e m a l e 1 5. A tops I I m p o s s i b l e for d w a r f s 1 6. i 7. What's a grecian urn? (correct) 8. See s i l e 9. Suffered from W a t n e y s 10. A c t o r ' s turn 1 1 . Indian c l o t h from R H K art school.

13. L o u d f i s h touch 14. e e c had it L - s h a p e d 18. A l c o h o l i c o v a l t i n e p u c k e d up 20. F i v e beers for v a l l e y 24. F i s h for good hand 25. A v e r a g e e l e c t r i c 27. P a l a n d r o m i c l e a d e r 28. Where to e n t e r 32. Same a s 29 33. Dehs 34. F r e n c h m i x t u r e 36.Iga 37. Metal b a l l o o n c o v e r ?

3 9 . R o u n d s o n of R o b

t h i s w i l l be v a r i e d a c c o r d i n g to how much you earn (obviously, the more you e a r n the l e s s your p a r e n t s n e e d to k e e p y o u ) .

A n y q u e r i e s c o m e to the Student W e l f a r e C e n t r e - open 12.30 - 1.30pm. Mon - F r i , at the top of the U n i o n B u i l d i n g .

P S D o not forget that L S E S t u d e n t s are now g i v i n g F R E E legal advice every Weds lunch-time.

FELIX P u b l i s h e d by the Editor on behalf of I . C . U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n Board. Printed Off-set L i t h o on the premises.

F e l i x Of fice, PnnceConsort R d , London SW7 2BB. T e l . 01 589

5111

ext

©FELIX,

1048,1042

1976

Editor P.Ekpenyong.

Many thanks to P h i l Dave

PixaM

Pave

Dean,

Hopkins

Dave Knights, John M c C l o s k e y , Duncan 5u:.^., l e n y WesIODy, and extra special thanks to Ian for putting up with us a l l , and G i l l ,

65. Saintly greeting 6 6 . D e e p s or c o u n c i l c h a r g e s 68b E x h a u s t w h e e l rim 7 0 . T h e g a l l e r y , e ' e s t moi (I d o n ' t u n d e r s t a n d that) 71. F i s h measure 73. E G C 74. R a h I tren ; h 4 1 . G e t up g i r l 42. See 79 44. Not p a r t i t i o n e d be s e p t a 4 5 . S e e 30 6 4 . That of it 4 7 . N i n e letters for lamb s h a r k ?

48. F r i e n d of beaver in 1 a c r o s s 49. Same a s p r e v i o u s c l u e of some a n s w e r 5 1 . Gur 52. At t empt to s c o r e 54b L i o n meat s a f e 55. Y o b 57. Non-contractual m is dee d 61b U s e d in 57 s e c t i o n 6 2 . F e d up w ' t h m u s i c i a n 6 3 . C h i n i e s e Han g or an up water WARNING: Some of these clues may be misleading!

T h e r e were no solutions entered for c r o s s w o r d N o 3 3 .

T h e c u m u l a t i v e p r i z e of £ 2 w i l l be g i v e n to the first c o r r e c t s o l u t i o n drawn out of the E d i t o r ' s Hat at noon next Wednesday May 12th.

The Editor's decision is final'.

S o l u t i o n to C r o s s w o r d N o . 3 3 ACROSS: 1. P r i n c i p l e s 8. B e a d game 11- L A 12. C r y 1 3 . Inane 14.

E a r l 1 5 . Erne 16. D e n 17. E s s 18. R o l l s 19. F o s s e 2 2 . G e n 2 4 . Ion 2 5 . Ket 2 6 . Omir 2 7 .

N o t c h 2 9 . A d d 3 0 . ie 3 1 . T h e g l a s s 32. Scent organ.

DOWN: 1. P i l l i w i n k s 2. N a r e s 3 . C D C 5. P a n e l 6. L M A 7. S p e n c e r i a n 8.Barefoot 9 . E y a s 10.Energies 15. C h e e s e 16. D o 2 0 . On 2 1 . N e c k s 2 2 . R a d o n 2 3 . Same 28. The 29. O l d .

ANNUAL DINNER M O N D A Y 17th M A Y 1976 7.00 for 7.30pm Union Upper Dinning Room

Tickets: £4.50 single,£8.00 double Available from the F E L I X Office

6

A word f o m de sponsor H E R E I Y A M agin, de litt'ry pearls o' wisdom droppin f'om my mouf faster dan de S c i e n t i s t s at d e G u i l d s B a r N i g h t . A c t u r l y , I bin implored by some n o t a b l e number to cast de e x p e r t i s e an de political unnerstanding on d e noo gumments r e s u l t i n ' f ' o m de recent e l e c t i o n h a p p e n i n g aftah de c e l e b r a t e d h o i s t i n g s in d e G r a t e H a l l , n o o s d w h i c h o n l y j u s t r e a c h i n ' me ' c o s d e P o s t m a n , cant g i t up d e s t a i r s fo' de fly in' milk bottles an de d e a d miner on d e p r e s i d e n t i a l l a n d i n g , b i n s e l l o t a p e d to d e bannisters by d e Y o u n g ' s C o n s e r v a t i v e s if y o u a s k m e .

I, off c o a r s e , am o f f r i n ' my d e e p e s t c o n d o l e n s e s to d e loosing oppersition. I sujest dat d e y s l i p a f e w s a c k s o ' de loot to d e e x t e r n a l e x a m i n a r s to i n s u r e dat d e n o o l y e l e c t e d c a b i n e t s are b e c o m i n g p a s t o ' de 5 0 % n a t ' r a l w a s t a g e d a t d i s c o l l e g e am a c c u s t o m e d to t h e s e d a y s , a n ' if d e y a i n ' t den there int n u f f i n l i k e a c o o wot de G u i l d s pulled this year when d i s H o y l e item got h i s s tutor to b o u n c e de A h l e r s moneky out w i v d e freat o ' de degree h a v i n ' to be c o n t i n u e d v i a de c o r r e s p o n d e n c e c o a r s e . D i s nex y e a r am g o n n a

be d i f f ' r e n t . D e s m a c k s o ' de firm gumments g o i n ' to be herd e c h o i n g roun' d e S h e f f i e l d Block.

E v e r y o n e g o n n a h a v e to be s h o w i n ' d e proper r e s p e c k f o ' d e n o o R C S U P r e s bint on a c c o u n t o ' her t u r n i n ' r o u n ' quick, l a s ' week a n ' accidenta l l y k n o c k i n ' four b l o k e s o v e r a c r o s s de d e g u s t l n ' parkey f l o o r in de U n i o n B a r , w o t am a l w a y s s l i p p e r y ' c o s o' de fac' dat de revoltin' m i n e r s h a v i n ' enough t r o u b l e k e e p i n ' d e i b a in de pint pots let a l o n e in d e s t o m i c k s . N o doubt followin' her aroun' l i k e d e s p a r r o w s roun' d e J C R t r o l l y w i l l be d e number too o' de R S C , d e S t e v e B r a u n d a n ' de A d r i a n S o p w i t h , d e w e l l known fighter a c e .

In d e m i n e s , d e ' a r d h a t s g o i n ' be kept b u s y t h i n k i n ' o ' s u m s i n c t to keep d e p o p p e r l a c e content till d e next Herb A l p e r t h a l l r e l a y r a c e in w h i c h d e baton o ' d e P r e s , Norm L e v y , g o i n ' to be h e l d by d e w e l l known S q u a d d i e .

De G u i l d s Trash bin goin' d o w n h i l l s i n c e d e great O s s i e b i n s u p e r s e e d e d by a memmer o' de equal oppertunity s e x .

In "de r i o t o u s e l e c t i o n t a k i n ' place l a s ' term, de T o m

The Met Soc meets again A p p a r e n t l y d e t e r m i n e d to t e s t our l o y a l t y , the M e t e o r o logical and Environmental S o c i e t y not o n l y h e l d l a s t w e e k ' s meeting at 6 p m , but c h o s e a F r i d a y e v e n i n g for i t .

N e v e r t h e l e s s some 15 p e o p l e turned up, including the speaker, a Dr D a v i d P e d g e l e y , o n c e of IC and now d o i n g pest r e s e a r c h , w h o w a s to t a l k about weather and the m i g r a t i o n of airborne i n s e c t s .

I w a s to try and get the s t o r y into F E L I X . H e l o o k e d l i k e an i n s e c t c o l l e c t o r : b e m u s e d , s l i g h t l y b u i l t , w i t h thin-rimmed g l a s s e s and a p u l l o v e r s l i g h t l y too l a r g e . I t r i e d to look l i k e a reporter w i t h a l i t t l e notebook a n d pen at the r e a d y , w h i l e the l e s s m o t i v a t e d s p r a w l e d w i t h d i s d a i n at s u c h a swot. now it's Monday But m o r n i n g ; many more b r a i n c e l l s have b e e n f l u s h e d to the T h a m e s and out to s e a a n d that notebook in not p r o v i n g much h e l p for the w r i t i n g . H a v e y o u heard h o w 14 m i l l i o n Oriental Army-worm Moths w e r e c a r e f u l l y marked by the C h i n e s e before r e l e a s e , a n d only 14 were recovered?

A p p a r e n t l y (my n o t e s a r e not clear) they gave them a radioactive f e e d . A c r e s of insects sit flapping their wings and doing heavy

to reach the breathing "temperature threshold for f l i g h t " ( T h e energy they w i n n e e d o n c e a i r b o r n e i s found by " t e t h e r i n g i n s e c t s in the l a b " , p r e s u m a b l y to run them into the ground).

I w i s h I c o u l d give a fair a c c o u n t of the t a l k , w h i c h e v e r y b o d y e n j o y e d , but o n l y a few choice quotations r e m a i n . L i k e the d i s t r a c t i n g o n e about " n y m p h s b e c o m i n g s o c r o w d e d , l i t e r a l l y on t o p of e a c h o t h e r " , or the c y n i c a l " s t i c k in a l i g h t , or a f e m a l e , or some rotten food, to a t t r a c t a m a l e " . B u t what k i n d of a story c a n y o u get out of "mass take-offs", "synchronous e m e r g e n c e " , " f i n i t e f a l l s p e e d s " and " a l o c u s t c a n s e e a l o c u s t at 3 0 m e t r e s " ? T h e last page i s about a t r i p to E a s t A f r i c a : " t h e o n l y w a y to c a t c h t h e s e f l i e s i s to s i t around and be b i t t e n . S o f l y - b o y s were h i r e d to s i t by the r i v e r There m a y be a s h o c k horror probe there somewhere, but not today.

T h e next m e e t i n g i s a l s o at 6 p m , but on T h u r s d a y , May 1 3 t h , in R o o m 7 1 9 of the New Huxley Building . " H a i l , hailstorms, and hail suppressions", with coffee and b i s c u i t s to f o l l o w . Wow! John Shade

F i s h e r s a y i n dat de S D e a r i n g o n l y g i t t i n g in on a c c o u n t o ' de o p p e r s i t i o n ' s count b e i n ' made on de f i n g e r s w i d one hand in de pocket a n ' d e t e l l e r s can't count over five widout de promtin' Dis Nick B r a y s h a w am o u g h t a be d o i n ' s u m t h i n ' to stop de IC U n i o n meetin's lookin' like a convention o' d e I r i s h b r a n c h of M E N S A .

E i t h e r d a t or r e d u c i n ' decorum to o n e a n h o l d i n ' d e m e e t i n ' s in d e k h a z i a n ' w r i t i n ' d e m i n i t s on de w a l l . If t h i n g s

l o o k i n ' rough w i d d e h a r a s s ment f ' o m d e r i g h t w i n g o ' d e N U F e x e c then he a l w a y s got d e P T e e g number a r o u n ' d e c o l l e g e to s h o w h i m where d e s u r v i v a l o ' d e I C U n i o n i s Âťo' de D Everett a n ' de Snowy White ' o s t a r t s t i r r i n ' up d e p o p p e r l a c e w i d d e c a s t iron micrometer, spanner a n ' any sim'lar tools. Aftah a l l , d i s U n i o n am in a s t r o n g p o s i t i o n , control I in' de noospaper, de r a d i o , a n ' d e T e e V e e , they am b e t t e r o f f t h a n d e 3 r d R e i c h !

THE FAIRY A N D THE PIXY Sweet fairy, beautiful and true, Give me your answer, T e l l me do, How shines the moon on you?

Dear pixy, I'm fine As any sunny summer's day.'

Sweet smiling fairy maid true, Give me your answer, Tell me do, W! 11 you meet me at nine For wine and dinne Tonight I trust Together we must Make the most of this bliss?

Oh! Virtuous pixy Sir, Thankyou for your 'and invitation.

Accept I do, And soon I will away To prepare, this happy day.

My lovely fairy mistress true, I thank you much, I thank you, I do, For now I know you rue the past, Our time together can forever last But for a short time There will be wine To confuse and amuse us As we dance and romance Down the road of true love.

So see you soon, my fairy love.'

Attend to those things, Your clothes and your rings.'

Powder your nose, Straighten your hair, And, make your eyes shine bright, For we'll be together forever tonight.

HOWARD PHILLIPS

TP

MUX

7

R e v i e w s

Theatre

Re-examination rewarded

T h e a t r e R e v i e w : ' E q u u s ' by P e t e r Shaffer at the A l b e r y T h e a t r e T h e f i r s t time I s a w P e t e r S h a f f e r ' s play Equus I found it to b e a n i m a g i n a t i v e l y s t a g e d t h r i l l e r about t h e p s y c h i a t r i c h e a l i n g of a boy w h o c o m m i t t e d a s a v a g e a t t a c k on s i x h o r s e s . S i f t i n g dow n to s e e it a g a i n at the s e c o n d revival of the National Theatre's p r o d u c t i o n by J o h n D e x t e r ( t h i s time at the A l b e r y T h e a t r e ) I w o n d e r e d h o w the p l a y w o u l d s t a n d up n o w that I knew t h e o u t c o m e of t h e d o c t o r ' s p r o b i n g s .

W i t h i n s e c o n d s of the p l a y ' s start I w a s , a g a i n , t o t a l l y a b s o r b e d , but n o w it w a s w i t h t h e depth of the p i e c e that c o n c e n t r a t i o n on the purely narrative

a s p e c t s had o b s c u r e d . E q u u s i s c e r t a i n l y a p l a y w h i c h , in that o v e r - w o r k e d p h r a s e , repays re-examination.

It supports, through the a g o n i s i n g of the p s y c h i a t r i s t o v e r h i s attempts to b r i n g h i s patient b a c k to a ' n o r m a l ' e x i s t e n c e , the i d e a that n o r m a l i t y i s d e a d e n i n g and that the boy's so-called insanity is really a p a s s i o n that t h o s e of u s w i t h empty I ives should envy.

T h e d o c t o r , p l a y e d by C o l i n B l a k e l y w i t h a warmth a n d s y m p a t h y that the a u d i e n c e r e s p o n d s t o , h a s problems of h i s own w i t h a w i f e w h o , w e are t o l d , s o o n lost any p a s s i o n she may h a v e had and s o her h u s b a n d s e e k s f u l f i l m e n t for h i s p s y c h e , s e c o n d h a n d , by s t u d y i n g

the p r i m i t i v i s m of A n c i e n t G r e e c e a n d i t s G o d s . H e i s j e a l o u s of the boy w h o f i n d s , for h i m s e l f , l i v i n g g o d s in h o r s e s .

On paper, in o n e s e n t e n c e , that s o u n d s b i z a r r e and the brutal c r i m e around w h i c h the play i s w r i t t e n may s e e m f a r - f e t c h e d , a l t h o u g h Shaffer b a s e s h i s plot on a real i n c i d e n t , but in the t h e a t r e the a t m o s p h e r e of s e n s u a l i t y and w o r s h i p c r e a t e d not l e a s t by the m a r v e l l o u s r e p r e s e n t a t i o n of h o r s e s by men in s i m p l e though ingenious masks and heightening hooves, f o r c e s u s into the p l a y ' s e x e g e s i s of h o w t h i n i s the line b e t w e e n g e n i u s and madness.

Eric

Stovell

Over-abundance of talk The Royal Shakespeare Company's s e r i e s of G o r k y p r o d u c t i o n s , at the A l d w y c h , c o n t i n u e s w i t h The Zykovs.

T h i s i s a p l a y that i s l e s s o v e r t l y p o l i t i c a l than much tum-of-the-century Russian drama; particularly bearing in mind that G o r k y b e c a m e the d o y e n of R u s s i a n literature after the r e v o l u t i o n , e v e n to the extent of h a v i n g h i s home renamed G o r k y .

M i k h a i l Z y k o v i s e n g a g e d to P a v l a Tselovanyevas; soon, however, his father s t e p s in a n d d e c l a r e s h i s a f f e c t i o n for the g i r l . With t h e a i d of smooth t a l k and f i n a n c i a l i n c e n t i v e (he i s a s e l f - m a d e timber merchant) he p r o p o s e s a marriage that i s doomed from the s t a r t . If a l l t h i s s o u n d s a b i t far f e t c h e d y o u must u n d e r s t a n d that P a v l a h a s s p e n t the p a s t f i v e y e a r s in the c o n v e n t s c h o o l and i s out of touch w i t h the r e a l i t i e s of l i f e . T i m e and time a g a i n s h e d e c l a r e s her b e l i e f in l o v e a s the true g u i d i n g p r i n c i p l e ; s h e f a i l s to r e a l i s e that the type of l o v e p r e a c h e d in t h e c o n v e n t i s too f r a i l a c o n c e p t t o s t a n d up to the p a s s i o n a t e l o v e of h e r h u s b a n d , A n t i p a .

Once installed

Pavla and h e r mother a r e in the Z y k o v h o u s e h o l d , s h e

f i n d s that the o n l y p e r s o n s h e i s not a f r a i d of i s her e r s t w h i l e f i a n c e . A strange change comes over the c h a r a c t e r s ; A n t i p a p a c e s about not c a r i n g for h i s b u s i n e s s ; the sour head k e e p e r , s h o k h i n , d e c i d e s to l e a v e b e c a u s e of P a v l a ' s fear of h i m . T h e a b i l i t y of a p a s s i v e c h a r a c t e r l i k e P a v l a to a l t e r the s t a t u s quo in a group of much s t r o n g e r c h a r a c t e r s i s but o n e of the t h r e a d s w o v e n together

by G o r k y .

A splendid performance, a s M i k h a i l , c o m e s from M i k e G w i l y m ; the e t e r n a l f l o a t e r , d r i n k i n g too much and w a i t i n g for s o m e t h i n g or s o m e o n e to turn u p .

Mia Farrow plays P a v l a with a wide e y e d i n n o c e n c e ; w h i l s t G ary B o n d a p p e a r s as the c o r r e c t German, proposing marriage to A n t i p a ' s s i s t e r more r e f i n e d than her brother on the grounds that together they might restore R u s s i a n self-confidence.

If I do not s e e m w h o l e - h e a r t e d l y to support t h i s p r o d u c t i o n it i s b e c a u s e I am not a great f a n of R u s s i a n p l a y s .

T h e r e i s here a s e l s e w h e r e a n o v e r b u n d a n c e of t a l k ; a s T a r a k a n o v s a y s at the o p e n i n g of A c t II; " Y o u c a n ' t d o without philosophy, since everything

Music Murray H e a d -

n a s i t s h i d d e n m e a n i n g w h i c h w e must know".

N e x t S a t u r d a y , May 1 5 , w i l l be y o u r l a s t c h a n c e , for the p r e s e n t , t o s e e t w o new p l a y s by T o m Stoppard at the A l m o s t F r e e T h e a t r e . A s i t s name s u g g e s t s the p r i c e s c h a r g e d at t h e A l m o s t f r e e a r e r o c k - b o t t o m ; in f a c t y o u c a n c h o o s e the sum (50p i s about a v e r a g e ) , to s u i t your p o c k e t , but y o u a l s o h a v e to j o i n the Ambiance Lunch Hour Theatre C l u b ; t h i s c a n be done at the d o o r .

T h e two p l a y s are Dirty L i v e n and N e w - F o u n d - l a n d and both c o n t a i n a l l the S t o p p a r d T r i c k s of d o u b l e entendr e pun, Malapropism and obscure literary r e f e r e n c e s . T h e c a s t i s heade d by a number of w e l l known names c u r r e n t l y a p p e a r i n g on the West E n d s t a g e . T h e performance s t a r t s at 1.15 and runs about an hour but y o u a r e w e l l a d v i s e d to g e t there e a r l y a s a q u e u e s o o n b u i l d s u p .

C e r t a i n l y t h i s *s s o m e t h i n g that s h o u l d n ' t be m i s s e d , e s p e c i a l l y if y o u a r e a l r e a d y a c o n f i r m e d Stoppard a d d i c t a n d c a n d i s p e n s e w i t h l u n c h for one d a y .

Thomas Stevenson

Head's heart not in mouth

Say It A i n ' t So (Island I L P S 9347)

A f t e r s u c h a n i m p r e s s i v e debut s i n g l e I w a s rather l o o k i n g forward t o an e q u a l l y t a l e n t e d L P . N o t s o ; in f a c t the b u l k of H e a d ' s e f f o r t s earn h i m z e r o for s t a r q u a l i t y a n d three (out of ten) for e f f o r t . ( e v e n by B l a c k S a b b a t h s t a n d a r d s ) .

My name i s n ' t T o n y H a t c h e i t h e r O u t s i d e the t i t l e t r a c k Boat's Away & Don't Forget To Let Him Know are the o n l y t r a c k s to s t a n d o u t . T h e other s e v e n b a r e l y d e s e r v e more than the w o r d s drab, ordinary & i n s u b s t a n t i a l . E i t h e r p r o d u c e r P a u l Sam w e 11-Smith & H e a d don't make m u s i c together or H e a d i s rather low on t a l e n t . J u d g i n g trom the f r a i l v o c a l s I s u s p e c t the l a t t e r . E i t h e r w a y , n e i t h e r p r o d u c e r or a r t i s t h a s made 1

f u l l u s e of the e x p e r i e n c e d s e s s i o n m u s i c i a n s on the a l b u m .

A m e d l e e of three a c o u s t i c g u i t a r s , t a s t e f u l s t r i n g arrangement, extensive background singers and overdubs d o m i n a t e s the L P ' s b e s t t r a c k Say It Ain't So. A b e a u t i f u l s t y l i s h e x a m p l e of a l l t h a t ' s good in modern m u s i c . B o b Weston ( a c o u s t i c & s l i d e g u i t a r s ) h o l d s the t r a c k t o g e t h e r , a s h e d o e s o n the L P ' s other g o o d i e s . Boat's Away is a c u t e u n d r a m a t i c c r i b of C a t S t e v e n s ' Longer Boats, but o n c e y o u a c c e p t that it's quite pleasant.

Likewise Don't Forget Him Now, a delicate ditty e n h a n c e d by S u e L y n c h ' s v o c a l s a n d s o m e

g i f t e d p i a n o p l a y i n g from Murray H e a d .

B o t h g i v e the v i t a l i t y m i s s i n g on the other t r a c k s .

T h e album's worst c u t s are You're So Tasty, an unromantic soul cover version of We Do It a n d a m e d i o c r e attempt at Someones Rocking My Dreamboat.

G e o r g e Me My c o u l d do it much better.

T o c o n c l u d e , if y o u ' v e bought t h e single don't bother b u y i n g the L P .

Murray H e a d h a s , I f e a r , y e t to d i s c o v e r what h e d o e s b e s t . H e might w e l l h a v e been f l u s t e r e d by h i s f i r s t v e n t u r e to a r e c o r d i n g s t u d i o , but t h a t ' s no e x c u s e for.fsland to r e l e a s e Insuncere trash.

8

MUX

M A R K C A L D W E L L previews a new World War 1 epic drama " A C E S H I G H " which has its world premiere on May 17th

Good take-off, faultless landing Quote from p u b l i c i t y handout — "Aces High is a story about love and comradship, loneliness and death. It if about action and adventure, and the bravery of man."

D o y o u groan i n w a r d l y ? N e v e r m i n d .

T h i s film i s recommended. A q u a l i f i e d r e c o m m e n d a t i o n t h o u g h . If y o u regard the F i r s t World War a s a n h i s t o r i c a l n i c e t y w h i c h i n f l i c t e d t i m e l y p u n i s h m e n t upon greedy c a p i t a l i s t n a t i o n s , are bored by a e r o p l a n e s and look upon a c t s of h e r o i s m merely a s manifestations of m i s g u i d e d j i n g o i s t i c f e r v o u r , then may be t h i s f i l m i s not for y o u .

F r a n c e , 1 9 1 7 . T h e f i l m f o l l o w s the trials and adventures of a newly arrived o f f i c e r C r o f t , s t a t i o n e d at a front l i n e s q u a d r o n of the R o y a l F l y i n g C o r p s .

A c c o u n t s of l i f e on the W e s t e r n F r o n t are w e l l k n o w n a n d the f i l m b a r e s many of the h a l l m a r k s o f the e x p e r i e n c e s o f newly commissioned officers described elsewhere.

For instance, the c o l d r e c e p t i o n at the m e s s o n f i r s t a r r i v i n g — "Hullo I'm Croft" "Are you" "You're not flying today" "So it would appear".

A l s o , f r a t e r n i z i n g w i t h the men a n d e a t i n g t h e i r bread a n d c h e e s e , f o l l o w i n g the d e a t h o f a f e l l o w o f f i c e r d u r i n g a m i s s i o n a n d the s u b s e q u e n t rebuke for avoiding h i s fellow officers. Peter Firth of " E q u u s " fame p l a y s the part w i t h s k i l l . During a v i s i t to a nightclub i n R o u e n , he conveys C r o f t ' s sense of embarrassment and i s o l a t i o n s o conv i n c i n g l y that at t i m e s one a l m o s t s h a r e s his unease.

'ACES HIGH' Directed by Jack Gold: Starring M a l c o l m McDowell, Christopher P l u m m e r . Simon Ward, P e t e r Firth'. S c r e e n p l a y by Howard Barker, inspired

by R C S h e r r i f f ' s play " J o u r n e y ' s F n d " ' .

Major Gresham (Malcolm M c D o w e l l ) c o m m a n d s the s q u a d r o n w i t h e x p e c t e d British sang-froid.

N o n e t h e l e s s , he n e v e r t a k e s o f f s o b e r a n d i n a rare moment r e v e a l s h i s s e n s e o f utter terror to a f e l l o w o f f i c e r C r a w f o r d .

This i s the f i r s t time Malcolm M c D o w e l l h a s b e e n a b l e to u s e h i s considerable talents i n a serious adult r o l e . H e h a n d l e s the t w o s i d e s o f Gresham's character adroitly. Crawford, turned l i t t e r a l y c r a z y w i t h fear so' ,hat he r e f u s e s to f l y , i s p l a y e d by S i m o n Ward.

However, there i s only one displayed outburst of madness and m e r c i f u l l y i t i s performed w i t h r e s t r a i n t .

C h r i s t o p h e r P l u m m e r (the " S o u n d o f M u s i c " man) p l a y s a veteran af f ec t ion a t e l y k n o w n a s ' U n c l e ' . T h i s sort o f paternalistic character could easily have become embalmed with sickly sentiment.

Thankfully this doesn't h a p p e n and the p a t e r n a l i s m i s c o n t r o l l e d .

J a c k G o l d k e e p s h i s c a s t o n a tight r e i n . N o t a b l e g u e s t a p p e a r a n c e s are made

by S i r J o h n G i e l g u d , T r e v o r Howard, Richard Johnson and R a y M i l l a n d . T h e c a s t a l s o i n c l u d e s one o f M a l c o l m M c D o w e l l ' s f e l l o w r e b e l s from 'If..', D a v i d W o o d . is

Indeed my o n l y c r i t i c i s m o f the f i l m the p r e p o n d e r a n c e of exuberant

Malcolm

McDowell

p u b l i c s c h o o l bonhommie w h i c h p e r m e a t e s some o f the f i l m ' s l i g h t e r moments a l m o s t to the p o i n t o f n a u s e a . H o w e v e r , r e m e m b e r i n g that this i s a p e r i o d f i l m , it could be argued that an a c c u r a t e p o r t r a y a l demands that the a c t i n g s h o u l d be f l a v o u r e d w i t h the Zeitgeist o f the era in question.

I nearly forgot to m e n t i o n the a e r o p l a n e s . P o s s i b l y b e c a u s e although there are t e c h n i c a l l y brilliant and spectacular in flight, once on the ground , they r e m a i n throught the f i l m , a s they s h o u l d b e , w e l l p r o p o r t i o n e d p r o p s .

Watergat >how it wasexposed " A l l T h e P r e s i d e n t ' s M e n " (Warner B r o s , A ) d i r e c t e d by A l a n Pakula; starring Robert R e d f o r d and D u s t i n Hoffman.

up c o u n t l e s s l e a d s in t h e i r i n v e s t i g a t i o n s w h i c h have a habit of r e v e a l i n g f a c t s that an F B I i n v e s t i g a t i o n c o v e r i n g 1500 people d o not.

A s in a l l good d e t e c t i v e f i l m s there h a s t o be a n " i n f o r m a n t ". In t h i s c a s e it i s D e e p Throat p l a y e d by H a l H o l b r o c k .

D e e p Throat w a s W o o d w a r d ' s c o n t a c t w h o had a c c e s s t o i n f o r m a t i o n at the White H o u s e . In n e w s p a p e r , p a r l a n c e , D e e p T h r o a t , w a s u s e d onl y for " d e e p b a c k g r o u n d " . H e w a s u s e d by Woodward to verify or not i n f o r m a t i o n gathered in their investigations.

" T H I S IS N O T a f i l m about N i x o n " s a y s Robert R e d f o r d w h o s e b r a i n c h i l d t h e J i l m w a s a n d w h o w a s o n e of the prime a r c h i t e c t s of t h e f i l m . H e a n d D u s t i n Hoffman p l a y t h e p a r t s of t h e t w o W a s h i n g t o n P o s t r e p o r t e r s , B o b Woodward and C a r l B e r n s t e i n r e s p e c t i v e l y , a s s i g n e d to c o v e r the Watergate b u i l d i n g break i n .

When p o w e r h o u s e a t t o r n e y s s h o w up at t h e h e a r i n g t o d e t e r m i n e whether b a i l T h e r e h a s b e e n r e c e n t l y a great d e a l w i l l be g r a n t e d , Woodward i s c u r i o u s . of s p e c u l a t i o n about D e e p - T h r o a t a n d H i s c u r i o s i t y i s further a r o u s e d when one whether he e x i s t s . A l l I c a n s a y i s that of the b u r g l a r s a d m i t s to b e i n g an e x - the f i l m H a l H o l b r o o k m a k e s the c h a r a c t e r C I A man. believable with a very convincing T h i s i s w h e n the t e k t o the P r e s i d e n t ' s performance.

Also, Woodward, in an office really begins.. N o one really i n t e r v i e w w i t h T i m e m a g a z i n e last w e e k , b e l i e v e s a n y more, at t h e P o s t at l e a s t , s t a t e d that D e e p T h r o a t d i d e x i s t a n d that the break i n w a s the work of c r a z y would reveal himself one day.

C u b a n s . Woodward a n d B e r n s t e i n f o l l o w T h e f i l m i s w e l l a c t e d throughout w i t h

Redford and Hoffman c o n v e y i n g the extreme s e n s e of fear felt by the reporters d u r i n g t h e i r i n v e s t i g a t i o n s and a l s o their o b s e s s i o n w i t h the story o n c e they h a d b e g u n . G u e s t a p p e a r a n c e s by Martin B a l s a m a s the city editor and J a s o n R o b a r b s a s B e n B r a d lee a s the P o s t ' s e x e c u t iv e editor provide a s o l i d b a c k u p . J a n e A l e x a n d e r g i v e s a very good performance a s t h e B o o k e e p e r .

T e c h n i c a l l y this film is excellent.

4 5 0 , 0 0 d o l l a r s w a s spent on b u i l d i n g an e x a c t 3 2 , 0 0 0 s q u a r e foot d u p l i c a t e of the P o s t ' s n e w s r o o m . In f a c t , s o much c a r e h a s been p a i d to d e t a i l that no c a r in the f i l m i s later t h a n , a 1973 m o d e l , the r u b b i s h in the n e w s r o o m i s real r u b b i s h c o l l e c t e d from the P o s t ' s newsroom over s e v e r a l w e e k s . They even hired Frank W i l l s , the Watergate s e c u r i t y guard w h o d i s c o v e r e d t h e robbery a n d sounded the a l a r m , t o play h i m s e l f .

Paul

Ekpenyong

9

MUX

B . i k e

.

C

l

u

b

.

Bike Club goes round in circles Cricket

May Day Massacre at M agdalen W I T H A N I M P R E S S I V E start to the s e a s o n , Imperial C o l l e g e 1st XI beat M a g d a l e n C o l l e g e , O x f o r d by o v e r 200 runs l a s t S a t u r d a y . E x c e e d i n g an a i r of confidence I C ' s opening batsmen put on 100 runs for the f i r s t wicket before Trinidadian Tony Paul was caught at c o v e r for a p o w e r f u l 50 runs which included nine boundaries.

H i s partner and C a p t a i n T o m G h o s h s c o r e d 3 6 w h i l s t burl y John England scored a b r i s k 43 after two h e l p i n g s of trifle at lunch as well.

S e v e r a l other u s e f u l i n n i n g s brought the s c o r e past the two hundred mark and at 3.35pm the s k i p p e r d e c l a r e d at 242 for e i g h t .

After the change-over Magdalen College were a s s a u l t e d by the " T o t t e n h a m T e r r o r " Chandra Kulharni who shook their composure.

Berkley beaten THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE Sunday XI followed the e x a m p l e of the 1st t e a m s S a t u r d a y performance w i t h a more modest 100 runs v i c t o r y over Berkeley Athletic at H a r l i n g t o n . C a p t a i n Max T a y l o r w o n the t o s s and e l e c t e d to bat; a very d i p l o m a t i c d e c i s i o n considering that half his team were late in a r r i v i n g . H e then opened the b a t t i n g w i t h Arthur M u l h o l l a n d and this pair put on o v e r 130 runs before Mulholland was out for 54. T a y l o r c a r r i e d on h i s b u c o l ic work and w a s e v e n t u a l ly out just before l u n c h for a creditable 82.

T h e run rate of about 100 an hour w a s m a i n t a i n e d after the i n t e r v a l by J e h B a s h a r who s c o r e d 51 before the skipper declared at three o ' c l o c k w i t h 244 for 3 on the scoreboard.

This generous d e c l a r a t i o n gave B e r k e l e y ample time to s c o r e the runs but they were unable to meet the c h a l l e n g e . F o u r w i c k e t s from Geof T h o m p s o n s h o w e d that the A t h l e t i c were not a b l e to r e p l y to t h i s t o t a l and the r e s u l t of the game w a s no longer in d o u b t . T h i s r e s u l t meant that two IC s i d e s had scored nearly 500 runs in j u s t two m a t c h e s !

However the wickets were taken by the two D a v e ' s , B r a m l e y (3 for 5) and M i l l a r d ( 5 for 19).

The Magdalen College batting collapsed with little resistance and they w e r e d i s m i s s e d for 38 runs g i v i n g Imperial C o l l e g e v i c t o r y by 2 0 4 r u n s . T h e fact that the o p p o s i t i o n c o u l d h a v e been a l i t t l e under the w e a t h e r after their silly May Day celebrations could not e x p l a i n t h e i r poor p e r f o r m a n c e .

It w a s a r e s o u n d i n g v i c t o r y and a c o n f i d e n t s t a r t to the season which must be consolidated at Cambridge tomorrow.

Team:- A Gosh; J Thornback; R Young; A Paul; R Pashley; J England; D Millard; C Kulharni; D Bramley; A Hall.

Scorer: Mary Young (many thanks

IC 2nd XI v L u t o n Scores:-

IC 146

College Luton

112

THIS EXTREMELY close game w a s d e c i d e d w i t h l e s s than two o v e r s to g o . IC batted f i r s t and w e r e q u i c k l y in t r o u b l e at 26 for 2 . H o w e v e r good partnerships between C a u s e y and S p a r k e and then T r e w h e l l a and H a g g e r p u s h e d a l o n g the s c o r e to 101 for 6 at t e a . A f t e r l i g h t r e f r e s h m e n t ( n o n - a l c o h o l i c ) , IC i n c r e a s e d t h e i r s c o r i n g rate and d e s p i t e l o s i n g w i c k e t s , r e a c h e d the r e s p e c t a b l e total of 1 4 6 .

Luton started very conf i d e n t l y and b r i s k l y put on 4 6 runs for t h e i r f i r s t w i c k e t in only ten o v e r s . A c c u r a t e bowling accompanied by tight fielding slowed their s c o r i n g rate but at 91 for for three the o d d s w e r e very much in t h e i r f a v o u r . Some e x c e l l e n t b o w l i n g by G o w l e t t and S p a r k e c a u s e d a s u d d e n c o l l a p s e in w h i c h L u t o n lost s i x w i c k e t s for o n l y 16 r u n s .

So with* o n l y 5 o v e r s left IC n e e d e d to t a k e one more w i c k e t for v i c t o r y . T h i s w a s a c h i e v e d w i t h only e i g h t b a l l s t o s p a r e w h e n G o w l e t t had t h e i r last b a t s m a n s t u m p e d .

In a l l it w a s a r e m a r k a b l e team effort for a s i d e p l a y i n g in i t ' s f i r s t match of the season.

Unfortunately the after match c e l e b r a t i o n s w e r e s p o i l t by the c o a c h f a i l i n g to turn u p .

A F T E R A s e r i e s of m e c h a n i c a l troubles with the racing H o n d a , the B i k e C l u b h a s f inal ly been r a c i n g . Our i n t r e p i d h e r o e s , M a r t i n B l e a s d a l e and Nick James, went to the V e l o Owners C l u b race meeting at C a d w e l l P a r k , L i n c o l n s h i r e , on A p r i l 3 r d , and r a c e d t h e i r road b i k e s a g a i n s t s u c h r i d e r s a s T o m P e m b e r t o n and D a v e East.

Martin was on his K a w a s a k i 400 S3 and N i c k w a s on a 5 0 0 c c V e l o c e t t e Venom which had been s l i g h t l y breathed upon by a racing friend, B i l l M e l v i l l e .

T h e p r a c t i c e s e s s i o n before the r a c e s w a s the f i r s t time N i c k had been on a t r a c k , but when he f i n i s h e d p r a c t i c e ten m i n u t e s l a t e r , the grin j o i n e d up at the b a c k of h i s n e c k !

T h e pair had e a c h entered in two Vi hour h i g h s p e e d t r i a l s and in an 8 lap r a c e , N i c k c o m p e t i n g in an a d d i t i o n a l 8 lap r a c e .

Much to the amazement of a l l c o n c e r n e d , n e i t h e r f e l l off and both a c t u a l l y managed to g i v e a good a c c o u n t of thems e l v e s . A s l u c k w o u l d h a v e it, the Velo nearly lost its

s i l e n c e r after the f i r s t h i g h s p e e d t r i a l , s o N i c k had to w i t h d r a w from the next e v e n t , w h i c h c a u s e d him to m i s s the the spectacle of Martin's Kawasaki "wheelie" away from the start and lea d the r a c e for 200 y a r d s !

Later o n , in the s e c o n d h i g h s p e e d t r i a l , N i c k w a s about to o v e r t a k e M a r t i n when the latter had a s p a r k p l u g b l o w out of h i s e n g i n e w h i c h c a u s e d him to p u l l off the t r a c k . O v e r a l l the f i n i s h p o s i t i o n s w e r e : 1st H i g h S p e e d T r i a l - N i c k 1 2 t h , M a r t i n 15th of 1 6 .

1st 8 L a p R a c e - M a r t i n 14th of 18.

2nd H i g h S p e e d T r i a l - N i c k 9 t h , M a r t i n 12th of 1 5 .

2nd 8 L a p R a c e - N i c k 10th of 1 4 .

M a r t i n ' s f a s t e s t lap w a s 1min 3 2 s e c s (58.7mph).

N i c k ' s f a s t e s t lap w a s 1min 2 7 s e c s (62.1mph).

For comparison, Dave E a s t on h i s V e l o got round in about i m i n 2 0 s e c and T o m P e m b e r t o n on h i s 500 K a w a s a k i in about 1min 1 4 s e c s .

O v e r a l l , a most e n j o y a b l e d a

V-

n S L Wilks

C r o s s .Country

Manx Pranx T h e a n n u a l I s l e of Man Easter Athletic Festival, h e l d over E a s t e r w e e k - e n d , w a s the f o c a l point of the season's activities for the cross-country club, hitherto known a s H y d e P a r k S t r e a k e r s .

The multi-faceted gathering of all-stars included such well-known faces as Speedy S t e v e Webb, B S c , G a r y G l i t t e r and A l v i n S t a r d u s t , C H u n d e r , and last Smooth'N Easy D o n n e l l y . Wtih s u c h a parade of talent, how could we fail?

T h e a n s w e r to t h i s f a t e f u l question was q u i c k l y provided by the f i r s t r a c e , the G o o d Friday 4 mile road race.

Comprising a steep downhill s e c t i o n for much of the f i r s t mile, and a corresponding uphill s e c t i o n for the last m i l e , the c o u r s e w a s o b v i o u s l y d e s i g n e d to c r i p p l e a n y o n e w h o w a s not 100% f i t . T h i s d i d not prevent 166 runners f i n i s h i n g ; for the S t r e a k e r s , our two a g e i n g pop s t a r s , G a r y and A l v i n , had their own personal battle which w a s won n a r r o w l y by A l v i n (24th in 2 1 : 2 4 ) . S p e e d y S t e v e , recouping the benefits of a c t u a l l y k n o w i n g the c o u r s e , ran a p e r s o n a l b e s t of 2 2 : 0 6 , and t h e s e three v a l i a n t m i d d l e men e n a b l e d the f i r s t team to

f i n i s h in a v e r y r e s p e c t a b l e eighth position.

M e a n w h i l e , a l i t t l e further down the field, several S t r e a k e r s w e r e s t r u g g l i n g to h i d e t h e i r o b v i o u s l a c k of fitness accumulated over the holidays. Hacker Ellis (23:33) w a s , for o n c e , r e d u c e d to the l o w l y r a n k s of the second team, though this team d i d f eat ure g o o d runs by C Hunter (24:38) and Mr Johnson (25:13). B o y o Davey (26:02) led home the t h i r d t e a m , w i t h s t ur dy support from the back, in the form of T e r r o r T a r n o w s k i and S m o o t h ' N Easy.

N e x t day w a s the 4 x 3 m i l e r e l a y , the s t r e a k e r ' s r e s u l t s being: 1st team 10th S L l t t l e w o o d 16 51 S Webb 16 47 A Stardust 16 17 G Glitter 16 24 2nd team 33rd H Ellis 17 32 C Hunter 19 32 D Jones 18 15 Mr J o h n s o n 19 05 73 58 3rd team 40th 19 05 B Davey T T a r n o w s k i 21 16 E D o n n e l l y 23 12 B We I ford 19 47 84 25 Continued

on page

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11

MUX Continued

Orienteering

MANX PRANX S p a r k l i n g runs by A l v i n and G a r y r a i s e d t h e f i r s t team from 22nd to 10th. T h e s e c o n d team performed c o n s i s t e n t l y , though e v e n B a b y f a c e c o u l d not s a v e the honour of the t hir d team after two very s t e a d y runs by T e r r o r a n d S m o o t h ' N E a s y h a d left h i m 4 m i n s b e h i n d the n e x t m a n .

Rosen shines FOR T H E s e c o n d time in three months S t i r l i n g U n i v e r s i t y w a s the c e n t r e for a B r i t i s h U n i v e r s i t i e s Sports F e d e r a t i o n (BUSF) championships. Crossc o u n t r y in F e b r u a r y , a n d last weekend for Orienteering.

M e m b e r s of t h e C o l l e g e c l u b j o i n e d other o r i e n t e e r s from the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n to form a c o m b i n e d t e a m .

The Championships consisted of an individual event on Saturday near K i l l in o n t h e b a n k s of L o c h T a y a n d a r e l a y team e v e n t o n S u n d a y at T h e F o r e s t near A l l o a .

The individual course w a s m a i n l y s p a r s e f o r e s t or o p e n f e l l s i d e , and the mens 8 . 0 k m 'A' course included 370 metres of c l i m b i n g . H o w e v e r , s p a r e time IC c r o s s - c o u n t r y runner and international orienteer David Rosen, proved he h a d t h e s t a m i n a for t h i s t ype of c o u r s e by winning the individual championships in 53 mins 16 s e c , a c l e a r margin of 2V2 m i n s from P e t e N i c h o l s of Loughborough.

Next for London w a s A l i s t a i r Doyle ; 6 9 . 5 3 m ins and Richard Gardner; 70.00mins.

These were followed home by C R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S W e b b .

On t h e m e n s ' ' B ' c o u r s e (5.4km) f i r s t U L runner home w a s l a n M c A n u l t y , 30th i n 6 9 . 0 9 f o l l o w e d b y T Murphy and L F a w c e t t . M Welford mispunched 2 controls thus s p o i l i n g an otherwise r e s p e c t , able time.

O n the womens ' B ' c o u r s e our only lady competitor, D i a n e B e n g e , h a d a good run to f i n i s h 6th i n a time of 7 6 . 1 8 .

Not content with his success of the a f t e r n o o n , David Rosen was also amongst the p r i z e s at t h e C e i l i d h on Saturday e v e n i n g .

A b l y a c c o m p a n i e d by D i a n e Benge they fulfilled all q u a l i f i c a t i o n s in an e l i m i n a t i o n dance a n d then won the w h e e l b a r r o w race b e t w e e n the l a s t 3 c o u p l e s left o n t h e floor.

However, all was f o r g i v e n when he p r o m i s e d to s h a r e around the beer he w o n .

In c o n t r a s t t o S a t u r d a y ' s e v e n t , t h e c o u r s e on S u n d a y was a heavily wooded s e c t io n of u n d u l a t i n g c o u n t r y s i d e , o n e section consisting of a complicated network of intersecting forest rides separated by d e n s e undergrowth.

T h e U L 1st team w a s g i v e n a good start w h e n A l i s t a i r Doyle completed the 1st leg o n l y Vi minute down o n t h e l e a d e r s in a time of 3 3 - 2 8 .

Richard G a r d n e r then kept the team r i g h t ' up w i t h t h e l e a d e r s on t h e s e c o n d l e g h a n d i n g over to D a v i d R o s e n o n l y 4 s e c o n d s d o w n on t h e l e a d e r s . However, with our biggest r i v a l s only 100secs down on u s at t h i s s t a g e D a v i d

from page 9

The winning

ULU. Far left

Dave

c o u l d not afford a n y c o s t l y m i s t a k e s . H e in fact i n c r e a s e d our lead t o 2V2 m i n u t e s thus w i n n i n g t w o g o l d m e d a l s in a s many d a y s . F i n a l p l a c i n g s : 1. L o n d o n 102.51 2. Oxford 104.26 3 . A b e r y s t w y t h 112.57 T h e L o n d o n 2nd team w e r e not s o s u c c e s s f u l a n d many excuses were put forward a f t e r w a r d s . T h e team of C R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S Webb c o m p l e t e d the c o u r s e i n a time of 1 9 7 . 0 0 ; a mere 9 5 m i n s b e h i n d L o n d o n 1st t e a m .

Our lady competitor, D i a n e , j o i n e d up w i t h L i v e r pool U n i v e r s i t y for t h e r e l a y r a c e a n d r a n 2nd l e g t a k i n g o v e r i n 3 r d p l a c e from t h e BUSF individual ladies champion Sue Barker. Diane had y e t another good run k e e p i n g t h e L i v e r p o o l team in 3rd p o s i t i o n , but u n f o r t u n a t e l y the l a s t leg runner w a s u n a b l e to match t h i s .

Rosen.

Rob Allinson

l

L l THURSDAY

13th MAY t N

in

action

Easter Sunday morning, and the f e l l r a c e u p G r e b a m o u n t a i n . N o amount of forewarning can possibly help t h o s e b e i n g i n i t i a t e d into t h e sport of f e l l - r u n n i n g / w a l k i n g .

T h e y must b a t t l e it out thems e l v e s , fight the good fight and g i v e in q u i c k l y . B u t t o t h o s e p r a c t i c e d in the a r t , there may be w a y s of tackling this masochistic enterprise (and s u c c e e d i n g ) C H u n t e r , on t h i s f a t e f u l d a y in A p r i l , thought he had found a w a y . S e t t i n g off l i k e a b u l l e t out of a g u n , he led the r a c e for much of the f i r s t quarter m i l e . H o p i n g that h i s momentum w o u l d c a r r y h i m up the f e l l w i t h t h e l e a d i n g r u n n e r s , "he v a l i a n t l y swept u p h i l l at a rate of knots — but no, back he d r o p p e d , t o s t r u g g l e at t h e b a c k a l o n g w i t h the rest of u s w h o w e r e already resigned to w a l k i n g .

Nevertheless, several Streakers did win their personal battles w i t h the f e l l , n o t a b l y S p e e d y S t e v e in 29:13, a minute a h e a d of G a r y and H a c k e r . S t r a p p e d up like an E g y p t i a n mummy, Granny battled resourcefully a g a i n s t Mr J o h n s o n , w h o f l e w down the f e l l i n 3 3 : 0 5 . B a b y f a c e , b e n e f i t i n g from a w e e k in S c o t l a n d , r a n c r e d i t a b l y for 36:26, finally ' beating B o y o . A l a s , at t h e b a c k , the decrepit pop s t a r , Alvin S t a r d u s t , c o n f i n e d to premature retirement, and S m o o t h ' N E a s y , in a n u n o f f i c i a l time of 52 m i n s , w e r e b e a t e n by t h e m o u n t a i n . W e l l , there i s a l w a y s next y e a r .

T h a t same e v e n i n g w e r e the boat r a c e s . N o t a c r o s s the I r i s h S e a , but t e a m s of 4 supping a l e extremely fast.

The first team w o n t h e i r f i r s t round h e a t , but w e r e narrowly beaten in the s e c o n d round o w i n g to a c o c k - u p in the draw by t h e o r g a n i s e r s .

The second team d r a n k s t e a d i l y someone should have told them it w a s a r a c e . A f t e r c l o s i n g time at t e n p m , a l l i n d u l g e d in a m a s s s i n g - s o n g , h o w e v e r , o w i n g to t h e O f f i c a l S e c r e t s A c t , the r e m a i n d e r of the evening's activities remain s u b - j u d i c e .

F i n a l l y , w e w o u l d l i k e to thank A C C for p r o v i d i n g the tour grant to offset the c o s t s of the w e e k e n d ; a n d a l s o Manx A C , w h o o r g a n i s e d the whole weekend. T h e C r o s s country C l u b i s now s i g n i n g off for t h i s s e a s o n , but rumour h a s it that they a r e to be r e - i n c a r n a t e d a s a n Ad-Hoc Athletics Club.

by B a n y f a c e Welford