F O U N D E D IN 1 9 4 9
NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
N o . 420
F r i d a y 2Tst M a y , 1976
FREE!
e Matthews heads for Bath
n A t the e n d o f t h e d e b a t e , w h i c h l a s t e d n e a r l y 1% h o u r s , the Committee approved a draft document w h i c h h a s n o w b e e n s e n t to the R e c t o r . T h e document s t a t e s t h e v i e w that there ar e u n a c c e p t a b l e e r r o r s i n the P r o s p e c t u s w h i c h the C o m m i t t e e might h a v e a s k e d the U n i o n to c h a n g e h a d t h i s been p o s s i b l e .
T H E F U T U R E of t h e U n i o n ' s first alternative P r o s p e c t u s ( A P ) h a n g s in the b a l a n c e following last Thursday's A d m i s s i o n P o l i c y Committee meeting: Members of the C o m m i t t e e were angry that a f i n a l draft of t h e A P h a d not been p r e s e n t e d to them prior to b e i n g sent off for printing'.
PROFESSOR P.T.Matthews, the physics H O D (Head of Department), i s to become the new Vice-Chancellor of Bath University, it was announced last week. Prof Matthews came to IC in 1957, as a reader in the Mathematics department, after spending some time in America doing research. He followed this with five years at Birmingham University as a lecturer. In 1960 he moved to the Blackett Laboratory together with Dr Salaam when it was first opened. He was made a professor in 1962. It i s almost certain that Prof Bradley, F R S , will be appointed as Prof Matthews successor when the Board of Governors meet to choose the new head. Prof Bradley i s being recommended to the Governors by the Rector after consultation with the Department.
COPY D A T E 2pm Monday 24th
The Chairman of the Committee, Prof Wood, d i d however receive a copy of A P i n i t s f i n a l form before He printing commenced. returned the c o p y to the Union with various comments. The Union, after careful c o n s i d e r a t i o n d e c i d e d to a l l o w p r i n t i n g to b e g i n . B e f o r e the m e e t i n g , R i c k Parker, I C U A A O , in charge of p r o d u c i n g the A P , r e c e i v e d a communication informing h i m that a l l " r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , l e g a l a n d o t h e r w i s e " , for the Prospectus was h i s .
Some members of the C o m m i t t e e e x p r e s s e d the v i e w that the A l t e r n a t i v e P r o s p e c t u s s h o u l d not b e s e n t o u t w i t h the C o l l e g e P r o s p e c t u s . It w a s f e l t that i f f u n d s a n d time w e r e available then corrections be made a n d the should P r o s p e c t u s s e n t out s e p a r a t e l y .
Rick Parker T h e letter from Mr G o o c h , Senior Assistant Registrar, that although the noted T h e p o s t a g e c o s t alone, i n document a s a whole w a s t h i s c a s e , w o u l d be w e l l o v e r commendable, it was "marred £ 6 0 C . . T h e budget a l l o w e d for by the o d d remark w h i c h i s u n f a i r , u n n e c e s s a r y , a n d m a y the P r o s p e c t u s i s £ 1 1 0 0 . T h i s c o m p a r e s w i t h o v e r three t i m e s be damaging to the C o l l e g e " . t h i s amount w h i c h M a n c h e s t e r It w a s around t h i s s t a t e m e n t University spend o n their A P . and o n e or t w o u n a c c u r a c i e s contained in departmental is at The Prospectus s u b m i s s i o n s that t h e d e b a t e s p r e s e n t a l m o s t p r i n t e d but h a s centred. not b e e n b o u n d . P r i n t i n g h a s no w b e e n h a l t e d to a w a i t t h e R e c t o r ' s d e c i s i o n once he has c o n s i d e r e d the s i t u a t i o n . H e i s e x p e c t e d to make h i s v i e w k n o w n early n e x t w e e k . nearly fell of a spotlight. M s J a c k s o n ' s humour w a s e v e r " I t i s unfortunate that the p r e s e n t , a n d a l t h o u g h it w i l l s y s t e m s e t up t o o v e r s e e t h i s not be s h o w n o n S T O I C , s h e d i d not f u n c t i o n a s project s a i d that w o r k i n g w i t h E r i c e f f i c i e n t l y as one w o u l d have a n d E r n i e w a s , to h e r , "a liked. There a r e , inevitably, Just after paid holiday," p r o b l e m s w i t h a n y new v e n t u r e receiving her second Oscar, a n d one must be c a r e f u l not to for h e r p a r t i n " A T o u c h o f ov er - r eac t " , Mr Parker said Class", amidst the m any ' yesterday. of congratulation telegrams "If the y a r d s t i c k applied she turned u p s a y i n g q u i t e t o the A P i s a p p l i e d t o the s i m p l y "Stick with us, we'll C o l l e g e P r o s p e c t u s , then it get you a third — E n ' c and too c a n b e found t o c o n t a i n Ernie." i t e m s w h i c h are e i t h e r f a c t u a l l y
Glenda Jackson on STOIC Ms G L E N D A J A C K S O N , star of two Morecambe and Wise Christmas Shows, gave a n interview to Mark C a l d w e l l , STOIC'S incumbent Chairman,' last week. Ms Jackson, who h a s r e c e i v e d 4 0 f i l m a w a r d s to date, talked with Mark for a l m o r t h a l f a n h o u r i n front o f a s m a l l a u d i e n c e o f S T O I C and F E L I X staff. The interview w a s , Mark said to F E L I X afterwards, "One of the most rewarding I have ever done," a n d i n d e e d , flowed smoothly throughout . E x c e p t , that i s , w h e n a g e l
T h a t s h o w e d c l a s s — more than just a touch.
incorrect added.
or m i s l e a d i n g " , h e
2
mix
SOCIAL
Carnival
GENERAL I.M. J o n e s P . R . T e a g u e (ra) Ms A . Halstead M s G . L l e w e l y n (ra) M s K . G a d d (ra) Ms D. Griffiths R. Beddoes J . Kearns Ms A . T e l l a m C . Dewey G . Port M. A l c o c k R. Greenhalgh C Richards J Mumford A . J . Sudworth J . Foster P . E k p e n y o n g (ra) J . Thornback M C a l d w e l l (ra) J. Allen S. K a l i c i n s k i J . Holding M. Biagioli Ms M. Attenborough A . P . Fitzgerald J . Morgan Ms G . Taplin I. M o r s e G. McConway J.T. McCloskey A. Hall A.W. Jones Ms A Pickard N.P. Williams Ms M . Slimming R . J . P a r k e r (ra) R. Young D. Everett S. Hoyle J . K i l n e r (ra) R. Genner Ms C . R o g e r s D r B . White Ms P. Johnston D. Millard I. J o w e t t W . A . G e r r a r d (ra) C . Grimshaw
Mat. S c i . 3 Physics 3 Physics 3 Physics 3 Staff Physics PG Chem. Eng 3 Zoo 3 Maths 3 Zoo P G Bot P G Zoo P G Zoo P G Zoo P G Physics 2 Mech Eng 3 Chem P G Physics 3 Man Sci P G Chem Eng P G Physics 3 Met 3 Maths 3 Mining 2 Zoo 2 F E L I X Staff F E L I X Staff Zoo 2 Zoo 3 Physics 3 Civ Eng 3 Aero 2 IF Physics PG C i v E n g Staff Physics 2 C & C 3 Chem E n g P G E l e c Eng 3 M i n i n g Staff U n i o n Staff Chem 3 Physics 3 Met P G E l e c E n g Staff
SCAB D r W. Wakeham (ra) A . N . H i g m a n (ra) I.J. White D . R h o d e s (ra) J . L . Midlane A . P o t t e r (ra) •M.H. T r i p p R . Woodward M . Woodward N . Harrison Ms J . C l a r k e
COLOURS
C h e m E n g Staff Maths 3 Physics 3 Mech E n g 3 Maths 3 Physics 3 Maths 2 Mech E n g 2 Chem Eng 3 Met P G
I. C h u r c h J . Jones D. Appleton M . P . Sandy D. Lord Ms J . McNaughton Ms S. Jones J . D o w n s (ra)
Civ Eng 1 Physics 1 Min Geol 1 Chem E n g 1 IF IF
A C C (Social) I. M. C. C. C. C. M.
Marwood Gibson Cuthbertson Whitely Parker Hardy Lawless
Elec Eng 3 Physics 2 Zoo 3 Min 3 Elec Eng 2 Maths 2 Man S c i P G
sec V . Handerek S. Lucock K . Y . Tey D.R. Mylvaganam P . J . Ide M s I.A. P o l l o c k A. Nelson M.H.S. E l - M a r k a b i M. A s a r i a
E l e c Eng P G B i o 22 Civ Eng P G Civ Eng 2 Chem 2 Mech Eng 3 Mat S c i 2 Elec Eng P G Maths 3
RCC J . Healy S. Neale P. Chesters K. F a u l k e n e r A . D . Attwood D. West D. Walker I. P a r k e r G . Gentry P . J . Dickinson C . F . Parsons P . R . F . O'Beirne
Chem 3 Physics 1 Physics 2 E l e c Eng P G ) ) ) L i f e Members *) Mech E n g 2 Elec Eng 2 Zoo 3
I C U a u t o m a t i c a l l y a w a r d s S o c i a l C o l o u r s to t h o s e w h o have received C C U General A w a r d s . RSMU N. H. P W.
Brayshaw Cheetham Botten Mellors
Mat S c i 3 Met P G Geol 3 Mining 2
RCSU S. J. C N.
Brightman White Morrell Reditt
Physics 3 Physics 2 Chem 2 Physics 2
C & GU S. A. K. D.
Hoyle Pickard A h lers Lord
CCD 3 C i v Eng 3 Chem Eng 2 Chem Eng 1
PROF BREK5STRAHLUNG
nv'ish he'd
never
s t o r t e d t h a t work, o n L o n g - d i s t a n c e holography
mix
The Haldane Library THERE COMES a time in e v e r y s t u d e n t ' s l i f e w h e n he f e e l s the need to e s c a p e — to get a w a y from it a l l — to l e a v e the p a r t i a l differential e q u a t i o n s , the m e s s o n s , the t o r g u e s and the g r a i n b o u n d a r i e s of l i f e and t ake up m o u n t a i n e e r i n g , p o l i t i c s , a c t i n g or rugby f o o t b a l l . A n d when h e ' s broken h i s leg or become d i s c r e d i t e d then h e c a n turn to the H a l d a n e Library. F r o m here he c a n borrow b o o k s on e v e r y n o n - a c a d e m i c s u b j e c t landsome that o t h e r s t h i n k a c a d e m i c from a u t o b i o g r a p h i e s and art to t r a v e l and y a c h t i n g . T h e r e are h u n d r e d s of gramophone records and tape c a s s e t t e s of G r e g o r i a n Chant, Beethoven, Mahler, the Moody B l u e s and o t h e r s .
N o v e l s by the w h o l e range of n o v e l i s t s from A u s t e n to Waugh are j u s t w a i t i n g to be d u s t e d d o w n and r e a d . If he c a n ' t f i n d what h e ' s l o o k i n g for it c a n e i t h e r be r e s e r v e d or ordered - the staff are very h e l p f u l . T w o members of the U n i o n act a s b u y e r s of n o v e l s a n d pop r e c o r d s — w h i c h the U n i o n p a y s for, w h i l s t the C o l l e g e f i n a n c e s the r e m a i n d e r . T h e library a l s o s u b s c r i b e s to s e v e r a l d a i l y n e w s p a p e r s and a w h o l e host of m a g a z i n e s and p e r i o d i c a l s to s a t i s f y any h i - f i buff or literary f a n a t i c . In short t h e r e ' s a w h o l e A l a d d i n ' s C a v e of g o o d i e s on Level 2 of the Sherfield B u i l d i n g by the G r e a t H a l l : j u s t keep on r e p e a t i n g the magic words — Haldane Library.
FELIX
ICU DIARY
P u b l i s h e d by the Editor on behalf of I . C . U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n Board. Printed Off-set L i t h o on the premises. F e l i x Office,PrinceConsort R d , London SW7 2 B B . T e l . 01 589
511 1 ext
©FELIX, EDITOR:
1048,1042
1976
P a u l Ekpenyong
Many thanks to G i l l McConway, Ian Morse, P h i l Dean, Duncan Suss, Dave Knights, Dave Hopkins, Terry Westoby, Dave Foxall, John M c C l o s k e y and C l i v e Dewey.
TO A L L OFFICIALS of I C U c l u b s and s o c i e t i e s : If y o u h a v e r e g u l a r m e e t i n g s or any s p e c i a l events a l r e a d y p l a n n e d for the 1 9 7 6 / 7 7 s e s s i o n , why not p u b l i c i s e them in the I C U P o c k e t D i a r y w h i c h i s now b e i n g p r e p a r e d for next year. In f a c t , A N Y c o l l e g e member with information s u i t a b l e for I n c l u s i o n in a d i a r y for I C U members i s w e l c o m e to s u b m i t it to the Diary Editor, Publications Board, ICU Office.
<7F Only:. Reputation, what reputation? F O R SOME O B S C U R E reason IF s e e m s to have a r e p u t a t i o n at I C , that i s , among the e l i t e c o n t i n g e n t w h o know what IF i s . ( T h o s e who know where it i s are e v e n f e w e r and further b e t w e e n ) . T h e y s e e m a l l to keen to t e l l y o u that IF h a s a r e p u t a t i o n , h o w e v e r , they never a c t u a l l y get round to t e l l i n g y o u what it i s . Two weeks ago I was s i t t i n g on a s t o o l in the m i d d l e o the U n i o n B a r , d r i n k i n g my pint of lemonade and l i m e , i n t e r l o c u t i n g w i t h an i n d i v i d u a l w h o s h a l l here remain n a m e l e s s , a s they s a y (I w a s t a l k i n g to him t o o ) . When the c o n v e r s a t i o n got to a stagnant p o i n t , w e turned to the can't-think-ofanything-else-to-say question, w h i c h in the s i x t h form u s e d to be " W h a t ' A ' l e v e l s are y o u d o i n g ? " and has now upgraded to " W e l l , what e x a c t l y do y o u d o at C o l l e g e ? " When I s a i d that I w a s at IF h i s f a c e f e l l and there w a s an o n i m o u s f
s i l e n c e , or e v e n an o m i n o u s o n e . H e l o o k e d me d o w n and u p , and down and up a g a i n , and s a i d in a somewha t s t u n n e d v o i c e " Y o u ' r e at I F . . . a n d y o u ' r e n o r m a l ? " Humph thought I. A s far a s I c o u l d remember no-one at IF h a s green s a l i v a , or t a l o n s , or h a i r s on the p a l m s of t h e i r h a n d s (see " A l l there is to know about Adolf E i c h m a n n " by L e o n a r d C o h e n ) . Perhaps this kind gentleman meant that I w a s normal a s o p p o s e d to w o r s e , and that most p e o p l e are w o r s e a s o p p o s e d to n o r m a l . I i n q u i r e d further, ago g to f i n d out at last any d e t a i l s of our e l u s i v e r e p u t a t i o n . B u t I w a s to be disappointed once more. T h e r e w a s a s k i l l e d c h a n g e of s u b j e c t w h i c h e v e n I w i t h my infallible tongue/brain/tongue c o u l d not c o m b a t . N o doubt any correspondence solving the matter will eventually find i t s w a y to the IF U n i o n if s e n t to the F E L I X O f f i c e . Jane Turner
LETTERS It's all at the bar S i r , — a reply i s n e e d e d to s u c h a w e l l w o r d e d a r t i c l e a s that by S t e p h e n Humby entitled "Smug, Uncritical I C " . T h e m o t i v a t i o n for w r i t i n g s u c h a s e a r i n g a r t i c l e about the r e g i m e n t a t i o n and m i n d l e s s n e s s of the a c a d e m i c s y s t e m s at IC l i e s d e e p e r t h a n i s r e a d i l y apparent from a f i r s t r e a d i n g . Mr H u m b y ' s r e a l d i s c o n t e n t , I t h i n k , l i e s w i t h the l a c k of any s t i m u l a t i n g s o c i a l l i f e at IC. His article gives the i m p r e s s i o n of s o m e o n e w h o i s not s a t i s f i e d w i t h h i s work and d e p r e s s e d at not m a k i n g any progress. A process which m a k e s one less willing to work. The impression is also g i v e n of one w h o h a s no s o c i a l o u t l e t s from the boredom of the IC s y s t e m . S o m e t h i n g most h e r e h a v e or p e r h a p s are s t i l l putting up w i t h . T h e r e i s one s m a l l w a y to get on top of y o u r work (not
sitting on it). That is to s u c c e s s f u l l y s o l v e the p r o b l e m s a l i t t l e at a t i m e . S u c c e s s g i v e s one c o n f i d e n c e and i n c e n t i v e to get on w i t h more w o r k . So d o not t a c k l e a n y t h i n g y o u cannot handle. A s for the s o c i a l s i d e ; a great many p e o p l e c o m e to u n i v e r s i t y a s a sort of " M e c c a " , believing in the myth of "University life". It does e x i s t , but y o u h a v e to go f u l l out to get it. D o not h o l d back. D o not e x p e c t it to envelop you in a m y s t i c a l of E u p h o r i a . A good way of meeting p e o p l e in IC i s through the C C U ' s and I C U . T h e C C U ' s h a v e , a d m i t t e d l y , an image of beer s w i l l i n g r o w d i e s . Some of the a c t i v i t i e s are m o r o n i c , but h a r m l e s s and good f u n . T h e CCU's do other more constructive things directly (and i n d i r e c t l y ) through t h e i r
Tampax machines Sir, Is the IC S o c i a l i s t S o c i e t y s o d e p r a v e d of s u b j e c t s for m a s s d e b a t e that t o p i c s with sexual connotations s h o u l d a g a i n be d i s c u s s e d ? In a letter from Mr T e a g u e (mandated by ICU council) the H a l l C o m m i t t e e w a s a s k e d to discuss the potential provision of Contraceptive and T a m p a x v e n d i n g m a c h i n e s in the H a l l . We wonder at the activities (strenuous or o t h e r w i s e ) of I C U C o u n c i l if they s h o u l d c o n s i d e r a s u b j e c t of s u c h paramount i m p o t e n c e w i t h s u c h g r a v i t y and at s u c h a l e n g t h . D u r i n g the p e r i o d of discussions on this topic c e r t a i n p o i n t s w e r e hammered home. For instance, people poked fun at t h e i d e a of t h e s e m a c h i n e s b e i n g s c r e w e d on the
w a l l , and where the things s h o u l d be put. We also felt that the p o t e n t i a l v o l u m e of trade in our H a l l w o u l d not j u s t i f y a T a m p a x m a c h i n e (being an a l l male HalII. C o n c e r n i n g the other t ype of m a c h i n e we f e e l it f i t t i n g that a l l U n i o n members s h o u l d be w i t h i n e a s y r e a c h of it. B u t , if t h e U n i o n w o u l d c o n s i d e r issuing such devices in s u f f i c i e n t q u a n t i t y , s i z e and at deflated prices, then we w o u l d be p l e a s e d to d i s t r i b u t e them. A f t e r a l l , in s u c h hard t i m e s i f s o f t e n d i f f i c u l t to make e n d s meet. We hope t h i s letter will stimulate further respo^^e. Yours faithfully, Some M e m b e r s of G a r d e n H a l l
s o c i e t i e s . T h e r e i s more to s a y about t h i s but not here or now. Whatever you do do not f e s t e r amongst u s e l e s s work s h e e t s . G o down to the bar at ten o ' c l o c k after w o r k i n g and r e l a x . Y o u do not h a v e to d r i n k a lot. T h e r e are a great d e a l of people with amusing and intelligent conversation around. If y o u l i v e out, work in the
l i b r a r i e s , (you w i l l probably get more work d o n e ) , then go d o w n to the bar . O n the w h o l e , stay in C o l l e g e , a s much a s y o u c a n , there i s more h a p p e n i n g than y o u c a n s e e from the o u t s i d e . A s they s a y "How do you know you don't like it, if you haven't tried it." Yours faithfully C.G. MILLER Physics I
mix
1
De South Ken Hilton J U S ' T H O U G H T 0 ' annudder w a y to s t e p up de amounts o ' f i v e r s g i t t i n ' s t u c k in de numbered S w i s s p i g g y b a n k . Some guy in d e c o l l e g e b l o c k g i v i n ' me de i d e a s a y i n ' dat d e new S o u t h s i d e m u l t i - s t o r y rabbit h u t c h am to good f o ' de l i k e o' s t u d e n t s m a k i n ' s t i c k y p a t c h e s on de c a r p i d s a n ' c h u c k t n ' d e t a s t e f u l f u r n i t u r e a b o u t . Why not, I yam t h i k i n ' , turn de w h o l e p l a c e into d e l u x ' r y h o t e l . A l l we g o t t a do am git too d o z e n g l a s s e s f o ' d e S t a n ' s bar an t e e c h de s e c u r i t y h o o d s to s t o p c h u c k i n ' a n y l u g g a g e found in de lobby into de b u c k e t o' w a t e r Deefo l i s ' n i n ' c a r e f u l l y f o ' de t i c k i n ' w i d de j u n i o r s t e f o s c o p e f ' o m de H a m l e y s . Only drawback wid d i s four star n o t i o n am de l o c a t i o n , it to c l o s e to de South K e n . D e F r e n c h t o u r i s t s s e e i n ' a l l d o s e f r o g g i e s h a n g i n ' r o u n ' de I F , s m o k i n ' d e r e v o l t i n ' manure f a g s a n ' p l a y i n ' w i d d e b o u l e s , w i l l be t h i n k i n ' dat they might of w e l l ' a v e s t a y e d in P a r i s a n ' dragged de Instamatic down to de Sorebumme i n s t e a d . C o m e to t h i n k o' it, d e South K e n
l o c a l s am g i t t i n ' too c o s s m o l p o l i t a n by 'arf, wot w i v d e T a t t y caff a n d e Sourgrope Whine B a r w i v a l l d e t r e n d i e s m u m b l i n ' on 'bout d e r e g g a t a s a n ' b u r n i n ' off de i n v a l i d c a r r i d g e s w i d de noo F e r r a r i s etc. D e J e t Set c o m i n ' in f'om de H e a t h r o w on de noo P i c c a d i l l y l i n e f i n d i n ' de S , K e n H i l t o n o' E m p i r i c a l C o l l e g e C a p i t a l E n t e r p r i s e s L t d . j u s ' right f o ' de O x f o r d Street s h o p l i f t i n ' , de trendy C h e l s e a humbugger j o i n t s a n ' de s t a t l e y home o' E l i z a b e t h 2. We p l a n n i n ' on o f f r i n ' de e x t r a a t t r a c t i o n s a l s o , l i k e de l i o n s in P r i n c e s G a r d e n s ( a l s o s e r v i n ' to remove d e s l a c k c a t e r i n ' s t a f f ) a n ' de r i d e s on de g e n w i n e o l d e n g l i s h v e h i c l e s , dat i s , s o o n a s de f i r e e n g i n e b i n ' f i t t e d w i d de r e l i a b l e V 8 a n ' de B O c a r got de e l e c t r o n i c i g n i t i o n f i x e d i n , not to m e n t i o n de box o ' s p a r e VW parts a n ' de g l a s s fibre repair kit. ' C o u r s e , de noo L i n s t e a d e x t e n t i o n s h o u l d c o m e in ' a n d y , c o n v e r t i n ' a few rooms to d e s u p e r i o r S w e e d i s h m a s a r g e p a r l e r , de V i d a l B a b o o n h a i r c u t t e r s a n '
de s u b branch o' H a r r o d s . H a v e to k e e p de s t o o d e n t s out t h o u g h . C a n ' t h a v e de m a i n e n t e r a n c e b l o c k e d w i d de s o u p e d up M o r r i s P l o d s a n ' de e t h n i c 1961 F o r d A n g l i a s w i d de front w i n g not q u i t e m a t c h i n de d r i v e r ' s door a n ' de e x s a u s t p i p e e x p e r t l y t i e d to de bumper w i d de w i r e . It s p o i l de tone o' de p l a c e , a n y w a y there enuff s p a c e ' c r o s s d e road in de c o l l e g e . D e s t u d e s a l r e a d y l i v i n ' in d e L i o n P l a y b o y liberary, wid de camp beds b e t w e e n de r a c k s a n ' de f r y - u p s c a r r i e d out b e t w e e n de r e v i s i o n f o ' d e e x a m s . I a l l r e a d y t o l ' y o u , de e x a m s are a load o' c o b b e r l e r s , a l l y o ' need i s de answer sheets an' de 1st honours p o p p i n ' t h r u ' de l e t t e r box n e x ' d a y . I findin' de F e h c s staff not b i n heed i n ' my warnin's concernin' de s t a n d a r d o' de t y p i n ' a n ' de m i s p r i n t s c r o p p i n ' up in my a r t i c l e s . T h i s w i l l sure am not d o . De t i e - p i s s e d better get de aim right or de t y p i n finger g o i n ' t' be s e v e r e d f'om de r e s ' o' de b o d y , shortly 'fore de r e m a i n s d y i n ' o' de . 3 0 3 lead p o i s o n i n ' .
Kicking them while they're down A B O U T T H R E E y e a r s a g o a report in the G u a r d i a n r e v e a l e d that B r i t i s h c o m p a n i e s in South A f r i c a w e r e p a y i n g w o r k e r s at r a t e s b e l o w a poverty datum l i n e . Some outcry f o l l o w e d , and one y e a r later the Government r e s p o n d e d by a s k i n g the c o m p a n i e s i n v o l v e d to reform t h e m s e l v e s or face legislation. L a s t week the Sunday T i m e s reported on what p r o g r e s s had been made and c o n c l u d e d that ' S o m e B r i t i s h companies are s t i l l paying black workers below subsistence levels. M o s t c o m p a n i e s are p a y i n g b e l o w the minimum wage rate l a i d dow n by the B r i t i s h G o v e r n m e n t ' . S o what n o w ? W i l l H M G l e g i s l a t e ? I w o u l d be p l e a s a n t l y s u r p r i s e d if they d i d , but the omens are not g o o d . L e s s than two w e e k s a g o in N a i r o b i , the new S e c r e t a r y of State for T r a d e , E d m u n d D e l l , made a s p e e c h w h i c h w a s l e s s than p r o p i t i o u s . It r e v e a l e d that in i n t e r n a t i o n a l economic policy B r i t a i n l i e s to the right of most of the
E E C , and had e v e n l e s s to offer in the w a y of new i d e a s than the U S A . H e w a s s p e a k i n g at U N C T A D , the U N c o n f e r e n c e c o n f r o n t i n g b a s i c p r o b l e m s of l a r g e - s c a l e poverty in the T h i r d World, i n c l u d i n g inter a l i a the r o l e of m u l t i - or trans-national corporations. H i s emphasis w a s on c h a r i t y by the r i c h c o u n t r i e s a s the k e y . Not j u s t i c e , or e v e n ordinary d e c e n c y in trade and i n v e s t m e n t matters ( w h i c h i s what the c o n f e r e n c e i s a b o u t ) , but the d r o p p i n g of c r u m b s from t a b l e s made r e p l e t e in the f i r s t p l a c e by t a k i n g a d v a n t a g e of the poverty and powerl e s s n e s s s u c h a s that endured by b l a c k p e o p l e in South A f r i c a . H i s w o r d s earned B r i t a i n a new n i c k n a m e : " T h e U N C T A D SNAIL OF Europe". I am p a r t i c u l a r l y i n c e n s e d about s u c h n e w s , partly b e c a u s e I w a s duped in 1974 by the b l a n d a s s u r a n c e s of the c o m p a n i e s I wrote to and the apparent d e t e r m i n a t i o n of the G o v e r n m e n t , but a l s o
b e c a u s e I resent the h y p o c r i s y of a L a b o u r Government w h i c h w o u l d make the poor carry the b u r d e n s of the r i c h . F o r e v e n an u n e m p l o y e d p e r s o n here i s better off than s o m e 8 0 0 m i l l i o n p e o p l e in the w o r s t of poverty a b r o a d , a n d it i s g r a v e l y m i s l e a d i n g to try to t a c k l e t h e i r problem s in i s o l a t i o n , or by a i d programmes a l o n e . It s h o u l d not be forgotten that B r i t a i n d e p e n d s on i n t e r n a t i o n a l trade for half its food and t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of its raw m a t e r i a l s . So what n o w ? T h e power s e e m s to l i e w i t h the c o m p a n i e s , but at l e a s t I c a n d e c i d e to remember the w o r s t of them and a v o i d b u y i n g t h e i r g o o d s or w o r k i n g for them. When p u s h e d on q u e s t i o n s of m o r a l i t y (a c o n c e p t not found on b a l a n c e s h e e t s ) , they s e e m b e d r o c k e d on the idea that if t h e i r s h a r e h o l d e r s make money then s o m e h o w the w h o l e w o r l d i s better off. Not me. My s t o m a c h c a n ' t t a k e it any more. J o h n Shade
Play it together, Don! Von Suppe: Light Cavalry overture; Elgar: Pomp & Circumstance March No. Tchaikovsky: 1812 Overture.
1;
N o doubt a s a n attempt to end the drought, the IC Wind E n s e m b l e , w h o s e a c t i v i t i e s in the open a i r t r a d i t i o n a l l y s e e m to a t t r a c t r a i n , attempted to p r o p i t i a t e the e l e m e n t s , but s u c c e e d e d better in a t t r a c t i n g the u n w e l c o m e a t t e n t i o n s of jet p l a n e s rather than t h o s e of J u p i t e r P l u v i o u s ; the w e a t h e r r e m a i n e d o b s u r a t e l y dry. However, in between successive p a s s e s by the a g e n t s of P a n Demon ium A i r w a y s , the Wind B a n d g a v e us its most theatrical entertainment to d a t e , not e n t i r e l y to i t s own c r e d i t , c o m m e n c i n g with Von Suppe's Light C a v a l r y overture. T h i s p i e c e , a p p a r e n t l y w r i t t e n in memory of a t h i r d c l a s s t r i p on A u s t r o - H u n g a r i a n R a i l w a y s , h a s a l u m p i s h nature c a l l i n g for more b o u n c e than the jog it got if it i s to c o m e off, s o that i t s r e s e m b l a n c e was more to Milligan's Underwater Artillery than to L i g h t C a v a l r y . T h e audience, attracted by the w i l e s of advance publicity, applauded politely
and w a i t e d for the next number, the o l d w a r h o r s e , E l g a r ' s Pomp & C i r c u m s t a n c e M a r c h N o . 1, s o b e l o v e d of patriotic l i s t e n e r s at Waterloo S t a t i o n . A f t e r a f l a w e d start when one of the p a r t i c i p a n t s k i c k e d off before the w h i s t l e , it p r o c e e d e d to a not much better m i d d l e and e n d , due m a i n l y to ragged e n s e m b l e and l a c k of r e h e a r s a l , c o m p o u n d e d by a l a c k of a u d i e n c e e n t h u s i a s m w h e n they r e f u s e d to s i n g the L a n d of H o p e and G l o r y b i t . P e r h a p s most of them d i d n ' t know the w o r d s , or m a y b e it w a s a matter of principle. These though wer e the B-feature that p r e c e d e s the real t h i n g , the moment w e ' v e a l l been w a i t i n g for, w h i c h kept to the theme of m i l i t a r i s m in the s h a p e of T c h a i k o v s k y ' s 1812 o v e r t u r e . For a n y o n e w h o i s u n f a m i l i a r w i t h it (and there must be a f e w ) , t h i s i s a r a m b l i n g c o n c o c t i o n l a c k i n g in d e s i g n w h i c h r o p e s in a d i v e r s e ragbag of m a t e r i a l r a n g i n g from- R u s s i a n hymns and f o l k s o n g s to la M a r s e i l l a i s e with almost M a h l e r - l i k e a b a n d o n . T h e high s p o t s of the performance lay in the s p e c i a l e f f e c t s department â&#x20AC;&#x201D; e x p l o s i v e in the c a s e of Mr S h o r t e r ' s
mortars d o u b l i n g for c a n n o n - f i r e , e l e c t r i c a l l y d e t o n a t e d in d u s t b i n s h a l f - w a y up the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r , g i v i n g the p a s s i n g a i r c r a f t s o m e t h i n g to t h i n k a b o u t . T h e p o l i c e were warned in a d v a n c e . T h e U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n B e l l r i n g e r s m a n a g e d to e x t r a c t some m u s i c a l n o t e s from the a p p a l l i n g p e a l , an a c h i e v e m e n t in marked c o n t r a s t to the c u s t o m a r y l e a d e n c l a n k s e m e n a t i n g from up t h e r e . T h e performance at ground l e v e l w a s s o m e t h i n g l e s s of an a c h i e v e m e n t : m i s s e d n o t e s are one t h i n g , but to be q u i t e a s far out of tune a s some of the c o n s p i r a t o r s w e r e , and poor e n s e m b l e , e s p e c i a l l y at the l e s s - t h a n b r e a k n e c k tempi adopted by C o n d u c t o r Munro, are q u i t e a n o t h e r . M o s t to b l a m e wer e the woodwinds, but the other b l o w e r s wer e not free of t a i n t . T h e band s e e m e d to r e l y on the s p e c t a c u l a r to d i v e r t a t t e n t i o n from the p a r t i c u l a r : fireworks off, though entertaining, d i d n ' t make up for l a c k of a t t e n t i o n to details. T h e Wind E n s e m b l e ' s a c t i v i t i e s are i n t e r e s t i n g and e n j o y a b l e c o n t r i b u t i o n to Continued
on page 5
FELIX
DEUS E X MACHINA?? Or-Something nasty in the kitchen I P R E F E R N O T l o eat in S o u t h s i d e . In f a c t , w h e n e v e r I have a c h o i c e I d i n e in the S h e r f i e l d refectory or in the U n i o n . B u t now that the Hot P o t h a s i n s t i g a t e d severe chip rationing (sliced carrots b e i n g a poor s u b s t i t u t e ) I f r e q u e n t l y h a v e to pay a v i s i t to S o u t h s i d e to o b t a i n my w e e k - e n d n o u r i s h m e n t . But a s I s a i d , I w o u l d r e a l l y prefer not to go there at a l l . Y o u s e e , I l i k e to eat w i t h c l e a n c u t l e r y . I j u s t d o n ' t want to have to eat d e a d cabbage, dried gravy, encfusted sheperd's-pie/hamburger/mi need-beef-rol I s e r v e d w i t h a s p l a s h of s a l i v a au g r a t i n . Or at very l e a s t I want the o p t i o n of not e a t i n g it. T h a t ' s why I u s u a l l y go to the U n i o n or S h e r f i e l d r e f e c t o r i e s - i t ' s s a f e r . N o w t h i s is no unfortunate s l i p - u p . I've been running regula r r i s k s of p o i s o n i n g m y s e l f over the last three y e a r s in S o u t h s i d e . Many t i m e s h a v e I brought t h i s poor s t a t e of h y g i e n e to the a t t e n t i o n of the c o u n t e r s t a f f , but to no a v a i l . T h a t ' s f a i r enough - I e x p e c t that from S o u t h s i d e . But what is more o m i n o u s i s the r e s p o n s e to my c o m p l a i n t s — " S o r r y Continued
from page 4
the l i f e of the C o l l e g e , and long may it c o n t i n u e . It h a s g i v e n a w e l c o m e a i r i n g to n e g l e c t e d m u s i c — for e x a m p l e , the two H o i s t s u i t e s p l a y e d in r e c e n t c o n c e r t s . One h o p e s therefore that the members w i l l f o s t e r the g o o d w i l l they u n d o u b t e d l y h a v e by c l o s e r a t t e n t i o n to t h e i r performing s t a n d a r d s - t h e y ' v e done better b e f o r e , and c a n do s o a g a i n . It w o u l d be a s a d commentary on an o r i g i n a l and e n t e r t a i n ing e x p e r i m e n t if it were to be thought of a s no more than a poor j o k e . David
Thomas
luv, it's the Machine", "There's nothing we c a n do - i t ' s the M a c h i n e " , "That's how they come out of the M a c h i n e - but it d o e s b o i l t h e m " . What M a c h i n e ? What is t h i s M a c h i n e ? Why c a n ' t a n y t h i n g be done about the M a c h i n e ? I protest that t h i s is not good enough and am a d v i s e d to fumble around in the c u t l e r y u n t i l I find a r e c o g n i s a b l e k n i f e . B u t I d o n ' t want to do that e i t h e r . C e r t a i n l y I have no w i s h to c o n s u m e the d e c a y i n g v e g e t a t i o n a t t a c h e d so f i r m l y to the k n i f e , but n e i t h e r do I want to eat other p e o p l e ' s g r i m e , g r e a s e , s w e a t and other u n m e n t i o n a b l e s u b s t a n c e s that i n v a r i a b l y find their way on to human h a n d s . I just d o n ' t l i k e e a t i n g dirt. Doesn't anybody r e a l i s e this? N o , of c o u r s e they d o n ' t , for they are a l l s e r v a n t s of the M a c h i n e . Mr Mooney is a mere minion, a puppet refectory manager firmly under the c o n t r o l of the M a c h i n e . T h e S o u t h s i d e staff h a v e been r e d u c e d to minor a u t o m a t o n s , the s o l e p u r p o s e of their m i s e r a b l e e x i s t a n c e to protect and defend the M a c h i n e at a l l c o s t s . E v e n P e d r o i s w o r k e d by s t r i n g s . The Machine rules O K . T h e r e c a n be no doubt that the M a c h i n e i s a threat to l i f e a s we know it. B u t what i s i t s p u r p o s e ? Why i s it here? Where d i d it come from? I b e l i e v e that e v e n now it i s d i r e c t i n g an i n t e n s i v e propaganda c a m p a i g n t o w a r d s the s i m i l a r , but s t i l l d o c i l e , m a c h i n e s in the U n i o n and S h e r f i e l d r e f e c t o r i e s . A n d if they s u c c u m b we are doomed - it i s a b u n d a n t l y c l e a r that the aim of the M a c h i n e i s to e r a d i c a t e a l l human life at IC by s l o w , deliberate poisoning. As forget
if t h a t ' s not bad e n o u g h , d o n ' t that the M a c h i n e is not a c l e v e r
thing l i k e a computer or a p a r k i n g meter. I m e a n , it d o e s n ' t have a n y t h i n g remotely r e s e m b l i n g a b r a i n . N o , for a l l its power the M a c h i n e is a mere e l e c t r o m e c h a n i c a l moron, d o g g e d l y f o l l o w i n g i t s m i n d l e s s instincts of d e s t r u c t i o n . We are up against the most powerful idiot the C o l l e g e h a s e v e r k n o w n . That i s the f i n a l horror. Y o u c a n ' t e v e n o u t w i t it, for it h a s no w i t s . What are we to do? H o w long before the last s u r v i v i n g IC student c h o k e s on a putrid pea and s u f f o c a t e s ? H o w then w i l l the M a c h i n e s a t i a t e i t s t h i r s t for d e a t h ? W i l l it turn on M o o n e y ? Y o u b e t . When h e ' s f i n i s h e d h i s job h e ' l l go the same way a s the rest of u s . P r o b a b l y s t a b b e d in the throat w i t h a s e p t i c fork. A n d then w h a t ? H a v e no i l l u s i o n s ; h a v i n g w i p e d out Imperial C o l l e g e it w i l l turn to greater t h i n g s . T h e day M o o n e y ' s g i b l e t s are bundled into the m i n c e r w i l l be Judgement D a y for t h i s p l a n e t . In k i t c h e n s a l l over the w o r l d , s l u m b e r i n g dish-washers will be a w a k e n i n g and r i s i n g to their u l t i m a t e t a s k ; t h e i r t i n n y c r i e s of " u l - c e - r a t e ! " s i g n a l l i n g the e c l i p s e of man and h i s w o r l d . T h e r e w i l l be no e s c a p e . On that d a y , w h e n the k i t c h e n d o o r s o p e n , the w o r l d w i l l s e e the f a c e of the M a c h i n e . B u t then it w i l l be too l a t e . We must not p a n i c . T h e r e i s s t i l l t i m e . T h e M a c h i n e has yet to e n t w i n e i t s t e n t a c l e s around S h e r f i e l d and the Union. A n n a still gives you extra chips if y o u want them. We must put our f a i t h in G o d and the R e f e c t o r y C o m p l a i n t s C o m m i t t e e — and a p l e n t i f u l s u p p l y of paper n a p k i n s . . . Tony
Jones
P R I Z E C R O S S W O R D No.36 ACROSS 1. H i s c l e r k wasteland.
1
1
screws
in
the
7 . C a s h no a m m o n i a l plant 9. Wood god sat for o n l y short y e a r .
5
3
T
S IC
IS
1IC.
IS
14-
»7
IX
2-t
M-
Si
1 9 . F o r u s e later in s l e e v e 2 0 . G i v e up 2 2 . With reference to hum brabuhr 2 5 . F u l l that s h o o t s up 28bWhat 13 do 2 9 . A n e x c l a i m a t i o n of d i s g u s t T h e winner of C r o s s w o r d N o . 35 was P G r o h a n n , Chem P G T h e £ 1 p r i z e w i l l be g i v e n to the first c o r r e c t solution drawn out of the Editor's Hat at noon next Wednesday, May 26th. The Editor's d e c i s i o n w i l l be final'. S o l u t i o n to C r o s s w o r d N o . 3 5 I
DOWN
22.
3b
as
XT
SI
1
•f 3.1
x<-
*
L
10. Set act for J e w i s h s p i c e 1 2 . B a c k up E u r o p e a n poet? 14bPrefix g i v e s king power over e l v e s 15. Short medico my might return f i s h i l l y 16. T h e U n i o n 17.1 p l a n f l a t n e s s , not a f l a t area 20. Captain beefheart asks you to l i c k them o f f , ' b a b y 21. Back cricket club 2 3 . 24 b a c k w a r d 24. 23 backwards 2 6 . In o p p o s i t i o n 2 7 . Afterthought to rite g i v e s b a c k imp 3 0 . A sort of C o r e y o n e r s or a sort of S o c c i 31bNot astern 3 2 . A hyper lath i s poof l e s s
1 j
1. T e p o t h h h c o , l i t e r a l l y 2. Willow twigs I rose 3 . What the c o t d i d on the mat 4. Up label 5. S t o c k i n g p l a s t i c 6. The French H + p a m p h l e t on v e h i c u l a r p r o p u l s i o n s 8. See K a l p a 9. Staff o n l y 10. L a t i n h e r e ' s d w i t h d r a w a l 11. Orders with short Paul, C o l l e g e , and i n i t i a l l y poet of I 13. R o y a l S h a k e s p e a r e C o 18. P o u n d lord gives up amusingly
1e M It 0 V
1 7 11 N X
i
s
mi _ s CI
1
"s
1
s
6
e
£
e
*.
e
1 t. l_
•
1 IA L
A n
a
I— tL
R
u
*S ii
7
hi
Pi
7*
*T
o
\
l_
•E
i_
H
£
fil
£ £
A
rJ
o
S
S
1
M
H
H Pi
L
u H
o
N si
1
t
o
t
I
"A u L
*
A
t
a
FELIX
*
Theatre
A cyclic Irish history
T h e Non-Stop C o n n o l l y C y c l e T h e t e l e v i s i o n p u n d i t s t e l l us that the m ajor it y of p e o p l e in t h i s c o u n t r y are astonishingly politically ignorant apparently only one person in five interviewed on Brighton prom, last summer c o u l d name the F o r e i g n S e c r e t a r y . T h e r e i s probably one t h i n g a b o v e a l l o t h e r s that E n g l i s h m e n f a i l to u n d e r s t a n d and that i s the Irish p r o b l e m , s o m e t h i n g that h a s been w i t h u s for o v e r three hundred y e a r s . It i s in order to remedy t h i s g l a r i n g that Margaretta failure of education D ' A r c y and J o h n A r d e n h a v e w r i t t e n a s e r i e s of fourteen p l a y s , e a c h one hour long, entitled The Non-Stop Connolly Cycle. T h e c o m p l e t e Cycle will be s h o w n t w i c e ; the f i r s t began l a s t M o n d a y and the s e c o n d s t a r t s on J u n e 3 r d , at 1.15 at the a l m o s t F r e e T h e a t r e in Rupert Street, between Shaftesbury A v e n u e and L e i c e s t e r S q u a r e . A s i s u s u a l w i t h A l m o s t F r e e s h o w s members of the a u d i e n c e pay a s much a s they f e e l they c a n a f f o r d . Cycle tells the history of The Ireland from 1868 to 1916 through the life s t o r y of one m a n , J a m e s C o n n o l l y , e x e c u t e d for h i s part in the E a s t e r R i s i n g of 1 9 1 6 . In the f i r s t part, w h i c h i s the only o n e I h a v e s e e n , C o n n o l l y r e c e i v e s a d v i c e from h i s u n c l e , on the
Music Graver Washington J N R -
T h e Almost Free Theatre run for h i s part in an a b o r t i v e r e b e l l i o n , and s e a r c h e s for work in a p o v e r t y s t r i c k e n E d i n b u r g h , where no-one r e a l l y w a n t s to e m p l o y an Irish C a t h o l i c b o y . A s a last resort he j o i n s the Q u e e n ' s army a n d , i r o n i c a l l y , i s sent to Ireland to put down d i s t u r b a n c e s c a u s e d by p e a s a n t s b e i n g e v i c t e d by tyrant a b s e n t e e l a n d l o r d s , s a f e from any a g i t a t i o n in t h e i r W e s t m i n s t e r s t r o n g h o l d s . In D u b l i n he meets a man promoting the w o r k s of ' t h e two G e r m a n s ' Marx and E n g e l s , and d e s e r t s to marry a y o u n g P r o t e s t a n t . F r o m a s t u d y of the s y n o p s i s g i v e n I can tell you that the treatment of C o n n o l l y ' s l i f e i s very d e t a i l e d ; s o much s o that a c o m p r e h e n s i v e u n d e r s t a n d i n g of the Irish Q u e s t i o n c a n p r o b a b l y o n l y be g l e a n e d by a t t e n d a n c e at e a c h of the fourteen p l a y s . T h e p o l i t i c a l c o n t e n t of the C y c l e i s u n d e n i a b l e ; the s y n o p s i s of the f i n a l part s t a t e s " C o n n o l l y g o e s down in h i s t o r y a s the f i r s t w o r k i n g - c l a s s leader to e n t e r the w o r l d s t r u g g l e on a Socialist b a s i s " . T h e p l a y s c o n t a i n both b a l l a d s o n g s and v e r s e and are performed on four s i d e s of the a u d i e n c e ; the d i s e m b o d i e d v o i c e s of the remote p o l i t i c i a n s in L o n d o n c o m i n g from behind u s . T h e p e r f o r m a n c e s l o s e n o t h i n g by b e i n g read and s h o w a great d e a l of commitment by the a c t o r s to
t h e i r m a t e r i a l . If you t a k e a two-hour l u n c h b r e a k to s e e one of t h e s e p l a y s y o u w i l l c e r t a i n l y not be w a s t i n g y o u r t i m e .
I w a s sorry that I w a s not a b l e to g i v e more s p a c e a fortnight ago to the A l m o s t Free's previous production â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Tom S t o p p a r d ' s two new p l a y s , Dirty Linen and New-Found-Land. T h e s e are two p l a y s in S t o p p a r d ' s u s u a l h i l a r i o u s v e i n , w i t h a f i r s t c l a s s c a s t . B e c a u s e of their s u c c e s s they h a v e been t r a n s f e r r e d to the A r t s T h e a t r e from J u n e 16th. P e r f o r m a n c e s w i l l b e g i n at 8 . 3 0 p m , M o n d a y s to T h u r s d a y s , and at 7.00 to 9.00pm on F r i d a y s and S a t u r d a y s . B o o k y o u r s e a t s now for a r i o t o u s e v e n i n g . N e x t w e e k I hope to be w r i t i n g about the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Eugene O'Neill's The Iceman Cometh. Meanwhile news has c o m e from the A l d w y c h that u n t i l J u l y 3rd the special student standby ticket arrangement w i l l operate from 10.00am. T u r n up w i t h your U n i o n c a r d and y o u c a n buy any s e a t a v a i l a b l e for ÂŁ1 for that e v e n i n g ' s p e r f o r m a n c e , of e i t h e r The Cometh. Zykovs or The Iceman Thomas Stevenson
It feels good and it is good F e e l s So G o o d ( K U D U )
Y E T A N O T H E R j a z z e r m o v e s into the r e a l m s of c e r e b r a l funk and d o i n g s o w i t h characteristic style. This i s not a s t r e e t b a n d . It's a s e t of s u p e r - s l i c k s e s s i o n men w h o ' d be a s much at home playing this infectious bump-hump stuff as avantgarde improvisations, though p r e s u m a b l y a f e w more a c k e r s c a n be found in s u p p l y i n g the punters w i t h product a s p a l a t a b l e a s t h i s . N o t a B e n e that " F e e l s s o G o o d " r e a c h e d w e l l into the A m e r i c a n c h a r t s e a r l i e r t h i s y e a r (wid uh b u l l i t ! ) T h e f i r s t point that b r e a c h e s the s u b c o n c i o u s i s that W a s h i n g t o n u s e s some very a c e drummers i n d e e d , to w i t one S t e v e G a d d , he w h o hardly a p p e a r s to c o n n e c t w i t h y o u h i - h a t , thereby g i v i n g the s o u n d an e s p e c i a l l y c r i s p and urgent f e e l to i t . T h i s s h a r p n e s s i s highlighted on " T h e Sea L i o n " , a s u b s t a n t i a l c h u n k of b l a c k power w i t h p l e n t y of that b o d y - b u i l d i n g f o n k e h - s t o f f , toned dow n by the r e l a x e d f r e e - f l o w i n g q u a l i t i e s of " M o o n s t r e a m s that f o l l o w s . T h i s i s a c h i e v e d by G r o v e r ' s g e n t l e f l u t e s o l o and the s i m p l e b a s s patterns of L o u i s J o h n s o n (the great A l p h o n s o perchance?). It's around now that t h e e f f e c t of Herbie H a n c o c k ' s pioneering in the jazz-funk field, from "Headhunters" days onwards, is being felt, with an outburst of a c c o m p l i s h e d j a z z m u s i c i a n s r e l e a s i n g a l b u m s l i k e t i n s w h i c h are o r i e n t a t e d t o w a r d s the y o u n g e r d i s c o audiences. " K n u c k l e h e a d " (Track one, s i d e T w o , and no r e l a t i o n to the B a r - k a y s v e r s i o n ) i s a good e x a m p l e of t h i s , opening with a "chameleon" like
b a s s / d r u m s c o m b i n a t i o n for the f i r s t e i g h t b a r s or s o and g r a d u a l l y t a k i n g form w i t h the a d d i t i o n of organ and W a s h i n g t o n ' s s a x r u n s . T h e rest of the t r a c k t a k e s off from that f o u n d a t i o n , soaring guitar s o l o s , the o c c a s i o n a l o r c h e s t r a l i n t r u s i o n et a l , w e l d e d s o l i d by the b a s s of G a r y K i n g . T h e s t a n d a r d of p l a y i n g i s a s y o u ' d e x p e c t from the l i k e s of R a n d y B r e c k e r , p r o v i d i n g h i s u s u a l f a u l t l e s s trumpet and F l u g e l h o r n b l o w i n g , and J o h n J a m e s , s u b d u e d but e v e r - s u b t l e on o r g a n . The title track provides another mammoth s l a b of rhythm-work, W a s h i n g t o n meandering and bellowing his way The Kursaal
Flyers -
through the beat t i l l E r i c G a l e ' s g u i t a r t a k e s c h a r g e of matters and p r o c e e d s to " d o i t ' s t h i n g " rather t a s t e f u l l y , a l l o v e r the little black p l a s t i c s t u f f . When a l l ' s s a i d and d o n e , y o u get three tracks of brash, unashamedly highc o n c e n t r a t i o n funk, one mid-tempo roust by the name of " H y d r a " , and one m e l o d i c , w i s p y , w a l l o w , c o u r t e s y of " M o o n s t r e a m s " , the w h o l e effort mobly c o m p e l l e d a l o n g by some s u p e r l a t i v e d r u m m i n g . T h i s i s not a street b a n d . It is c l a s s . What do y o u mean you h a v e n ' t bought " T h e L a s t Record A l b u m " yet? Gor blimey!
T h e Great A r t i s t e (UK
N o w , t h i s i s a w h o l e d i f f e r e n t bag of p e a n u t s . T h i s i s a s t r e e t b a n d . P l a y i n g v a r i o u s forms of what i s no doubt Southend type s t r e e t m u s i c . What in a l l the h e a v e n s are a load of a v i a t o r s from the p a v i l o n d o i n g p l a y i n g ' o r r i b l e bluegrass, and c o u n t r y and western s c h m a l t z . T h i n g s do s t a r t to l i v e n u p a bit t o w a r d s the end of S i d e 1 t h o u g h , w i t h the present s i n g l e " C r u i s i n ' for l o v e " and " B a c k to the b o o k " ( m i d - p a c e d rockers?) ;
W h e r e a s G r o v e r W a s h i n g t o n and d e b o y s try out the " n e w " s o u n d s e m a n a t i n g from the b l a c k A m e r i c a n m u s i c s c e n e , the kursaals are very definitely a d e r i v a t i v e b a n d , s t i c k i n g c a r e f u l l y to w h a t ' s been done b e f o r e , w h e t h e r it be the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d J o h n n y C a s h e r a m a or Harry B e l a f o n t e c a l y p s o - i n g to the
Records)
s t r a i n of " P a l a i s de D a n s e " . T h e y e x u d e some s l i g h t l y a n a e m i c r o c k i n ' on " P a i n and M i s e r y " , where L e a d g u i t a r i s t Graeme D o u g l a s s h o w s that he c a n w h i p it out now and a g a i n if h i s b u t t i e s d e p e n d on it, but P a u l S h u t t l e w o r t h ' s v o c a l s d o n ' t amount to m u c h , e x c e p t on h i s n i f t y v e r s i o n of " y o ' reggae p i c k - a -dub r a s t a - J a h r a s s - m a n " on " H y p o c h o n d r i a c " , the s o l e West Injun t r a c k d e y d o . I n t e r e s t i n g l y r i c s to v i s - a - v i s " E l v i s , com a n ' git y o u b e e n s , a n ' s t o p shootin' op me c a l a m i n e loshunn". H o - h u m , b a c k to a - B a b y l o n . T h i s l i t t l e ray of s u n s h i n e is f o l l o w e d , n e e d l e s s to s a y , by more C and W d r i v e l , by w h i c h time redemption h a s been lost a n y w a y . E x c e p t for " H y p o c h o n d r i a c " , a pretty ordinary L P r e a l l y . HIC
7
mix
Orienteering
Unorthodox but fun Cricket
" Skittled IC
v
EBV
W H A T S H O U L D h a v e been a " w a l k - o v e r " b e c a m e in f a c t a "stumble-over" when IC played East Barnet Valley l a s t S a t u r d a y . With an e x c e l l e n t b o w l i n g performance and s o m e superb catching E Barnet w e r e s k i t t l e d for 3 8 . IC t h e n l o s t 8 batsmen to an a c c u r a t e b o w l i n g a t t a c k before r e a c h i n g the n e c e s s a r y 39 runs to w i n . Three early wickets wer e g i v e n a w a y through c o m p l a c e n c y and lack of concentration g i v i n g the o p p o s i t i o n c o n f i d e n c e More w i c k e t s wer e donated and some lost before D a v e M i l l a r d and C h a n d r a K u l k a r n i s t o p p e d the s l u m p and s h a r e d the runs needed for v i c t o r y . It w o u l d h a v e been an e x c e l l e n t v i c t o r y but for the number of w i c k e t s l o s t ; w h a t e v e r the match a s t r a t e g y s h o u l d be f o r m u l a t e d before b a t t i n g — the match c o u l d s o e a s i l y h a v e been won in s i n g l e s !
A wet draw IC 2nd XI v U C L 2nd
XI
O N A D A Y at t i m e s fit for wearing galoshes, with a n o r t h - w e s t e r l y b l o w i n g , IC won the t o s s and b a t t e d . A g a i n s t moderate b o w l i n g the o p e n i n g partnership added 49, but within 8 overs IC wer e s t r u g g l i n g at 7 0 for 5. A n e x c e l l e n t s i x t h w i c k e t partners h i p of 6 9 , b e t w e e n Morton (62) and G o l d i n g (37), s t e e r e d the s i d e to 151 for 6 at t e a . T h e d e c l a r a t i o n c a m e not long after at 162 for 8 . With s t o r m c l o u d s b r e w i n g and w i n d s i n c r e a s i n g U C L n e v e r attempted to score at the r e q u i r e d rate of 5 /i runs an o v e r neede d to w i n . Intermittent d o w n p o w s made b o w l i n g and fielding extremely difficult; d e s p i t e t h i s a l m o s t a t hir d of the o v e r s b o w l e d wer e m a i d e n s . . U C L a l w a y s l o o k e d in t r o u b l e against accurate bowling, surviving numerous LBW appeals and one obvious s t u m p i n g . H o w e v e r the match w a s f i n a l l y drawn w i t h U C L on 80 for 7 a n d G o l d i n g f i n i s h e d w i t h figures of 3 f o r 2 0 . 1
More SPORT on
back page
Crass play fails IC IC 2nd XI
v
BCO
IC W O N the t o s s in t h i s match against B a l l i o l C o l l e g e , Oxford and d e c i d e d to bat. T h e y wer e s o o n in t roubl e a s w i c k e t s f e l l rapidly. A c o l l a p s e was only avoided due to some fine b a t t i n g by N i c k Morton (17) and P e t e r T u r n e r (38), IC s t o o d at 9 3 for 8 after some very poor s h o t s from the m i d d l e order and a c o u p l e of r u n - o u t s . R e s p e c t ability w a s , however, restored by J o h n G o w l e t t (30n.o.) t h u s e n a b l i n g IC to f i n i s h w i t h a t o t a l of 143 a l l o u t . Nick Treen provided an early break through in the b o w l i n g , t a k i n g the f i r s t two w i c k e t s . T h i s trend f a i l e d to c o n t i n u e a s numerous c a t c h e s f e l l to earth and up t i l l the last 15 o v e r s , B a l l i o l l o o k e d s e t to run out e a s y w i n n e r s . T h r e e w i c k e t s for a s many r u n s , i n c l u d i n g an e x c e l l e n t d i v i n g c a t c h by B r i a n C a u s e y in the g u l l e y , put a s t o p to the rot, but B a l l i o l b a t t e d out the few r e m a i n i n g o v e r s to f i n i s h w i t h 101 for 8 . However, an enjoyable game was marred by the d i s c o v e r y that £20 had b e e n s t o l e n from our c h a n g i n g room during play. Team: A What ling, N Morton, M Trewella, B Causey, G Sparke, Hagger, K N Rickard, T Donart, J Gowlett, N Treen, P Turner.
Skittled IC
v
QEC
A F T E R A S L O W s t a r t in w h i c h w i c k e t s wer e g i v e n away due to the tight and accurate bowling of Q E C , IC wer e f i n a l l y d i s m i s s e d for 156. T h e i m p a t i e n c e of the IC batsmen a l m o s t led to a c o l l a p s e and an i g n o m i n i o u s t o t a l , but a late r a l l y from R i c h a r d D u r h a n (42n.o.) ensured that QEC wer e set a s i z a b l e t a s k . T h e n in the gloomy light and s t r o n g w i n d Q E C wer e s k i t t l e d for o n l y 54 r u n s . T h e w i c k e t s were evenly distributed among the b o w l e r s ; C h a n d r a K u l k a r n i (who w a s "feeling m e a n " ) took 3 for 1, D a v e B r a m l e y 3 for 20 and J o h n G o w l e t t 3 for 1 5 . Team: G Sparke, T Ghosh, A Paul, R -Pashley, J Coates, R Durhan, C Kulkarni, D Bramley, J Gowlett, V Brown, A Hall.
MOST O R I E N T E E R I N G events fall into the category of ' c r o s s - c o u n t r y ' e v e n t s , that i s , the c o n t r o l s h a v e to be v i s i t e d in a c e r t a i n , p r e - o r d a i n e d order; but o n c e in a w h i l e for r e a s o n s of variety, sadiom etc, an o r g a n i s e r w i l l c o m e up w i t h something different. A few dedicated souls had the privilege of two unusual e v e n t s on S a t u r d a y . The variety was provided by a ' S c o r e ' event on Saturday afternoon at H a i n a u l t forest. In a s c o r e event the c o n t r o l s may be v i s i t e d in a n y order w i t h e a c h c o n t r o l c o u n t i n g for a certain number of points and the c o m p e t i t o r c o l l e c t i n g a s many c o n t r o l s a s p o s s i b l e in the time a l l o w e d . F r e s h from h i s r e - e l e c t i o n a s c l u b captain David Rosen showed h i s mastery of t h i s type of event by b e i n g the o n l y runner to v i s i t a l l the c o n t r o l s in the hour allowed, thus scoring yet another victory. Alan L e a k e y d i d w e l l to f i n i s h 11th after o v e r c o m i n g the h a n d i c a p of l o o k i n g for the m a r k e r s on the ground when i n f a c t they wer e about 10ft up the s i d e of tress; whilst Rob Allinson found p r o b l e m s a d j u s t i n g to the s y s t e m and f i n i s h e d 3 3 r d , j u s t beaten by M i r i a m B e s c o b y in 2 7 t h . L a t e r that e v e n i n g came the sadism, in the form of a 'Novelty Event' near Wanstead. In t h i s event the s e q u e n c e in w h i c h c o n t r o l s wer e v i s i t e d w a s d e c i d e d by r o l l i n g a d i c e
at e a c h c o n t r o l — r e s u l t i n g in some e x t r e m e l y e r r a t i c c o u r s e s . With a s t r o n g d i s p l a y of running and t e l e k i n e s i s , A l a n L e a k e y f i n i s h e d 2nd in 3 2 m i n u t e s j u s t a h e a d of R o b A l l i n s o n w h o w a s 5th in 3 2 . 2 0 h a v i n g had some 'interesting' die r o l l s (Go to j a i l , do not p a s s the start, do not collect control 3). Sunday offered a more c o n v e n t i o n a l B a d g e E v e n t in the f l a t , f a s t E p p i n g F o r e s t and s a w a m a s s turn out from the c l u b . D a z z l i n g D a v e R o s e n completed the M 2 1 A c o u r s e of 12km in 6 6 . 4 8 to f i n i s h b e h i n d M i k e D o w n of L a n c h e s t e r Poly. Finding the c o n t r o l s down at ground l e v e l a g a i n A l a n L e a k e y had one of h i s best e v e r runs to f i n i s h 11th in 7 7 . 5 6 , m a k i n g it a good w e e k e n d for h i m , w h i l s t R o b A l l i n s o n f a i l e d to hit h i s true form a g a i n f i n i s h i n g 2 1 s t in 90.57, beating Steve Webb and Ian Isherwood (the latter having retired due to the p r o x i m i t y of c l o s i n g t i m e ) . On the B c o u r s e I C ' s s o l e representative, Iron Man J o h n s o n had a good run to f i n i s h 6 t h in 9 4 . 4 9 , w h i l s t on the C course Diane Benge continued her e v e r improving p e r f o r m a n c e s to f i n i s h w e l l in 8 3 . 4 0 s h o w i n g the m a l e IC c o m p e t i t o r s who a l l g a v e up in order to get to the pub, before c l o s i n g t i m e ! All good training for the coming weekend's British Championships. Alan Leakey
Soccer
Maths II power to a fine victory "IF T H E B R I T I S H Commonw e a l t h and E m p i r e l a s t s for a t h o u s a n d y e a r s men w i l l s t i l l s a y , ' T h i s w a s their finest h o u r ' , " s a i d one o b s e r v e r a s M a t h s 2 c o m p l e t e d t h e i r lap of honour after w i n n i n g the R C S sixes last Saturday. 14 teams e n t e r e d and e v e n t u a l l y RCSA, C h e m i s t r y 2, Mining House and Maths 2 found t h e m s e l v e s in the s e m i f i n a l . M a t h s 2 had d e l i g h t e d e v e r y o n e with their fast flowing and often power f u l football with D a v e B r a b b i n s t a r r i n g at the b a c k . T h e y t o o k the f i e l d a g a i n s t a s t r o n g R C S A s i d e in the s e m i - f i n a l but s o o n found thems e l v e s a goal down. Swaby pulled one b a c k and D a v e F i n n l s , r e l e a s e d by D o n R e v i e , and l e a p i n g about in g o a l l i k e a scalded gnat heroically saved a penalty. Dave Bradbury put M a t h s 2 in the f i n a l w i t h a fine individual goal. • M i n i n g H o u s e r e a c h e d the
f i n a l by d e f e a t i n g C h e m i s t r y 2 on p e n a l t y k i c k s . P a t Frampton w a s e v e r y w h e r e for them — s o m e t i m e s e v e n on the p i t c h . He proved an exceptional reader of the game this c o m p e n s a t e d for h i s w e a k n e s s in passing and heading. Mining House kicked with a strong w i n d in the f i r s t half but with Graham knightley bestriding the p i t c h like a colossus they could not match the power of M a t h s 2 . Dave H a l let p l a y e d at the b a c k for M i n i n g H o u s e but turning fractionally slower than m i l k he c o u l d not c o p e w i t h the lightning p a c e of D Bradbury, Andy Bridge was a powerhouse — spraying p a s s e s in a l l d i r e c t i o n s and Brabbin played superbly a g a i n . C o n s t a n t p r e s s u r e told w h e n S w a b y opened the s c o r i n g and he d r i b b l e d round the keeper for h i s s e c o n d g o a l to c l i n c h t h e trophy f o r M a t h s 2 .
8
m i x
Refectory and Residence charges up F O L L O W I N G A meeting on Wednesday with the Chairmen of both the Refectory and Student Residence Committees and the President of IC Union, the Rector has decided to recommend to the Finance and Executive Committees of the Governing Body that Hall and House Rents be increased by 33% for the coming session and that Refectory P r i c e s be increased by 10%. T he College has an accumulated deficit on its Refectory and Residence accounts of about £ 2 0 0 , 0 0 0 , and the Rector will ask the Govenors to write off, this deficit. It i s h o w e v e r , not p o s s i b l e to w r i t e off d e f i c i t s i n d e f i n i t e l y and the R e c t o r i s c o n c e r n e d w i t h s h o w i n g the G o v e r n o r s that a c o n c e r t e d effort i s b e i n g made to make the a c c o u n t s b a l a n c e i n the c o m i n g y e a r . T h e i n c r e a s e of 3 3 % o n present H a l l and House rents will, if approved . by the G o v e n o r s , be i m p l e m e n t e d at
the s t a r t o f the c o m i n g s e s s i o n rat he r than o n A u g u s t 1 s t . T h i s w i l l a l l o w those postgraduates remaining in H a l l and House t o o c c u p y t h e i r rooms at the present l e v e l of rents throughout the summer v a c a t i o n .
R e c o m m e n d e d rents for n e x t s e s s i o n Southside, L i n s t e a d , Weeks and N r e w B e i t £ 9 . 6 0 per w e e k S i n g l e rooms i n G a r d e n H a l l , Student H o u s e and O l d B e i t £8.30 per w e e k . D o u b l e rooms i n Student H o u s e s and G a r d e n H a l l £ 6 . 7 0 per w e e k T r i p l e rooms i n Student H o u s e s £6.15 per w e e k . The Rector is disappointed that no c o n c r e t e p r o g r e s s h a d b e e n made to cut d o w n the l e v e l o f c l e a n i n g i n the H a l l s . The Govenors had requested that t h i s p r o b l e m be t a c k l e d " u r g e n t l y " w h e n they r e v i e w e d the r e n t s at C h r i s t m a s . A c u t
i n c l e a n i n g c o s t s w o u l d be directly reflected in a smaller i n c r e a s e i n Student r e n t s . H o w ever, the Cleaners' Union, N U P E , has rejected proposals to cut the number o f c l e a n e r s or to reduce the h o u r s o f the p r e s e n t c l e a n e r s . It is hoped that the relatively small increase in Refectory Prices will not result in a reduction in c u s t o m e r s in the c o m i n g y e a r . T he Catering Manager w i l l have the a b i l i t y to i n c r e a s e the p r i c e of some i t e m s if t h e i r cost price increases exceptiona l l y . A n y alterations w i l l have to be a u t h o r i s e d by the D o m e s t i c S e c r e t a r y a n d the Chairman of the Refectory Committee. All the c h a r g e s o u t l i n e d a b o v e w i l l be for t h e f i r s t term of next session the Rector feels it inseritable with the present changing rate o f i n f l a t i o n that they w i l l h a v e to be r e v i e w e d t e r m l y .
Apology F E L I X would like to apologise for the inconvenience caused to the Union Bookshop and its staff as a result of the "review" of the book " T h e Great Literary H o a x " , published in last week's issue of F E L I X . T h i s book does not in fact exist and we also apologise for misleading readers into believing otherwise. The article was purely fictitious and we would ask readers not to pursue a fruitless search for this book.
New IC boat launched A boat designed by Professor Cameron and members o f the I C A e r o n a u t i c s Department, the Monocoque s u p e r I V , w a s l a u n c h e d at P u t n e y y e s t e r d a y . Watched by P r e s s and T e l e v i s i o n reporters the boat w a s c h r i s t e n e d and l a t e r t a k e n out o n the T h a m e s . The revolutionary design is s a i d to be w o r t h f i v e s e c o n d s o v e r a n O l y m p i c c o u r s e . It i s b e i n g o f f e r e d to the A m a t e u r Rowing Association as a p o s s i b l e I V for the M o n t r e a l Olympics.
Playboy John does it again INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOY an IC student John McCloskey was this week made an honorary life member of the Penthouse Club in Mayfair. At a special party thrown 'or John by the club management, the young lad was given the freedom of the club Tor a whole evening. It is believed Johnfwho incidently is only the fifth person to receive the honour) was made a life member for his outstanding contribution to the prosperity of the Penthouse Club. During the evening John, together with his escort for the night, top model F e l i c i t y
Derbyshire, ran up a bill totalling £115 paid on this occasion, of course by the management. When asked how he could afford to frequent such an expensive club on most nights of the week (a pint of lager costs 80p) while Mving on a student grant, McCloskey replied in no uncertain terms that we should mind our own business. However, it is believed John's interest in horse racing accounts for much of his finances, together with a healthy chicken breeding business at his home in Kilburn. Good luck John! NIGEL P. DEMISTER
H a v e you bought ant faulty g o o d s r e c e n t l y ? H a v i n g trouble with the L a n d l o r d ? H a d a car a c c i d e n t ? Got to appear in court?
KNOW YOUR L E G A L RIGHTS! John McCloskey There is F R E E legal advice given by L S E law students every Wednesday at the Student Welfare Centre, 12.30 - 1.30 pm, at the top of the Union Building. The Centre is open Monday - Friday (12.30 - 1.30 pm) for general information on contraception, abortion, accommodation, NHS benefits, etc. Tube and bus maps given away. Time Out and NHS Discount Handbook available for consultation. Just Arrived! V a c Job Index for paid and vo'untary work in U K and abroad.
at the Penthouse Club last Monday night
captured by FELIX
photographer Dean
Phillips.
Despite the spoof story above, the photograph was taken at the Penthouse Club on Monday night after the F E L I X Dinner. Several other people from the Dinner had an entertaining time at the club at reasonable expense. Watch out for next year's F E L I X Dinneryou never know what you might miss!